No Loose Ends

Chapter 3

            And so it was that Daisy was standing in front of the General’s hot radiator waiting to hear something.  Why didn’t someone call?  The radio had been extremely quiet ever since she had pulled off the main road and turned off the engine.  Now, the sound of a car coming up the road alarmed Daisy.  She didn’t want to have to explain to any strangers what she was doing out here.  Especially, strangers.  They might be the bank robbers.  All she knew was that there were two men in jeans…..and they were in a car.  That was it!  But it was a start.  She knew she had to be especially leery of a car with two men headed out of town.

She slid back in the General and to be on the safe side, she decided to start the engine.  She hit the key, expecting to hear the super-charged V8 roar to life, but all was quiet still.  “Hmmmmm”, she thought, a momentary panic seizing her.  Maybe she didn’t make a good connection.  She turned it off and tried again.  Still nothing.  “Damn”, she swore.

Meanwhile, the other vehicle was approaching slowly, but steadily.  A squeaking, rattling racket seemed to accompany it.  For a farm girl, it meant one thing.  Whatever it was, it was pulling a stock trailer.  As the vehicle came over the rise, Daisy recognized it as a white Ford pickup, not unlike the one Uncle Jesse owned.  At least 30 men in Hazzard County owned one just like it.  She slid down out of the driver’s seat and wandered to the back of the car so that the driver would see her and know she was in trouble.  As long as it was her own people, she knew she was safe!

Edna Mae and Earl Longwood sat side by side in the cab of their pickup.  Edna squinted her eyes.  “That looks like the waitress from the Boar’s Nest”, she told her husband.

“The brunette with the short-shorts and the long legs?”, he asked.

“Take a look for yourself”, Edna answered.  “It sure looks like it to me.  I wonder what she’s doing all the way out here with that orange hot-rod?”

“I don’t know”, Earl answered, “but it looks like she’s having car trouble”.

“Could be”, Edna Mae agreed.  “Mighty dangerous for her out here dressed like that with two desperate bank robbers on the loose”.

“There are?” Earl looked at her questioningly.

“Oh Earl!  Just pull over and see if you can get her going again, so we can get on our way.”

The trailer pulled up.  Daisy was only a little surprised to see that she did not recognize the occupants of the pickup.  It was not entirely impossible for them to be Hazzard residents and still not be familiar.  But even so, Daisy could tell that whether they lived in Hazzard or not, they were good country people.  Edna got out on Daisy’s side of the pickup.  She was maybe 10 years Daisy’s senior.  She was tall and slim with big Dolly Parton hair, wearing a long-sleeved western shirt, blue jeans and black boots.  Earl, was dressed more like big kid.  He had on jeans, like Edna Mae, but was wearing white sneakers and a blue t-shirt with Loretta Lynn on the front of it. 

“Trouble, sweetie?” Edna asked Daisy in a kindly way.  Edna’s face was hard with crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes and frown lines around her mouth, but when she smiled, her whole face lit up.  Daisy felt instantly better. 
            “I don’t know what it is”, Daisy said.  “It was fine a few minutes ago when I pulled off, but when I got ready to go again, it just wouldn’t do anything!” 

“You mean, you didn’t pull off because you were having problems?” Earl asked her curiously. 

“No, I was driving along and talking on the CB”, Daisy answered.

Earl and Edna Mae exchanged a look.  “Is the light on your CB burnin’ right now?” Earl asked.

Daisy stuck her head inside.  “Nope, it’s out.  I guess it’s the battery or a bad connection, one or the other.”

“Earl, see what you can do to get our friend back to Hazzard.  She’s a long way from the Boar’s Nest and I’ll bet she’s gonna be in hot water with her Boss if she doesn’t get back pretty quick.”

“I wouldn’t worry about him right now…”, Earl began, but Edna Mae shut him up with a harsh look.  Earl went back to the pickup and opened the tack room on the horse trailer.  There were two horses in the back.  Evidently the couple had been at a horse show, or possibly a trail ride.  Or maybe they had just bought the horses.  Either way, it reassured Daisy that they had legitimate business in Hazzard. 

“What Earl started to say was that if you’re the girl who works at the Boar’s Nest, then I imagine Boss Hogg has bigger fish to fry than worrying about his waitress being a few minutes late for the mid-morning crowd”. 

Daisy laughed.  “That’s true.  He even told me not to worry about openin’ this morning at all until they find the money”, she told her.  “By the way, how did the two of you know about the robbery?” she asked, now curious.

“We’ve been following the thread on the CB”, Edna answered casually.  “I’m curious now.  Are you, by any chance, ‘Bo Peep’?” she asked.

Daisy blushed.  “Yeah, you got me now.”

“Well”, Edna began.  “Do you really think it’s smart for you to be out here all alone trying to catch two bank robbers?  What would you do if you caught up with them?”

“I really haven’t given that much thought”, Daisy admitted.  “I never really meant to actually catch them, just get close enough to see what they’re driving and which way they’re headed.  That’s all.”

“You mean, you don’t know what they’re driving?” Edna asked.

“No”

“Or which way they were headed?”

“No ma’am.  Boss didn’t really see much.  He and Emory, that’s the teller, were tied-up when I got there.  I think the robbers had just left, but I didn’t see them as they were leaving either.  All I’ve been told is that there are two men”, Daisy informed her.

“Two men”, Edna Mae repeated.  “Two men, and one 5 foot 8 brunette in a pair of short-shorts who couldn’t run in those CFM high-heels to save her life”, Edna remarked.  “Do you have any idea what they might do to you if they caught you trying to get information back to the Sheriff about them?”

“I haven’t really given that much thought”, Daisy admitted.  “I hadn’t planned on getting myself caught.  By the way, what does ‘CFM’ mean?”

Edna threw back her head and laughed, “Come, ahem, me!” she said, grinning mischievously at Daisy.  It took only a second or two for Daisy’s mind to fill in the blank left when Edna Mae cleared her throat.  “Ohhhh”, she said, her cheeks turning red.

“Okay”, Earl announced.  “See if the light on your CB is on, Miss!”  Daisy bent over and looking in the window.  The red light indicating power was on.  Suddenly, the CB, after having been silent for the past 15 minutes, blared to life with J.D. Hogg’s voice screaming, “Daizee Dook, Daizee Dook.  Lloyd Johnson over at the hardware store said he was watchin’ earlier when them two bank robba’s came out. 

Daisy hopped up on the door to get inside so she could answer Boss Hogg, but Edna gripped her firmly by the arm.  “Be still.  I wanna hear what he has to say”, she told Daisy.  They listened.

“He said they was drivin’ a black Plymouth and that he saw them pull their masks off when they came outside and one of ‘em was a wooman!  She has blond hair and her pahtner is wearin’ a t-shirt with Lo-retta Lynn’s pitcher on it!”

“I knew it!” Edna screamed.  “That old buzzard saw us.  If we hadn’t stopped here, we’d have been well on our way and the worst that would have happened to our little Missy here would be that she’d just be a few hours late for work, but now….”

“Let go of me.  You’re hurting me!” Daisy screamed.  Edna’s fingernails, although short were hardened from work.  She was gripping Daisy’s upper arm like a hawk grips its prey.  Daisy was struggling to hold on to the top of the car while Edna tried to pull her out the window.  Boss Hogg was still talking, repeating the same information over and over until someone would answer.

“Earl, don’t just stand there!  Come help.”  Before he could make up his mind, Daisy pressed the toe of one high-heel in the middle of the General’s steering wheel.  She was rewarded with a trumpet blast playing the first few bars to “Dixie”.  Earl jumped and couldn’t decide which way to go.  Daisy took advantage of the confusion and let go of the General’s roof with her right hand, balled it up into a fist, and punched Edna Mae square in the mouth.  Edna’s backward propulsion broke free her grip of Daisy’s arm, but at a cost.  Her fingernails raked a track in the flesh of Daisy’s left arm as they slipped free. 

Edna reeled backward as Daisy pivoted off the door, grabbed Edna Mae, tucked her head down and turned her around by the belt of her blue jeans, then leaning back against the General for support, she planted her right high-heel squarely in the back of Edna Mae’s blue jeans and sent her sprawling into the dirt road.  It was a move she had practiced on Roscoe countless times and had awarded her those precious few seconds she needed to get into her car and get going before he could unholster his revolver and stop her.

Unfortunately, Edna Mae had quicker reflexes than Roscoe.  She was back on her feet.  While Earl was still trying to figure out what to do next, Edna grabbed Daisy by the belt that was attached to her shorts before she could slip back into the General.  Her free hand, once again, caught Daisy’s wrist in its visage.  The fingernails were digging in.  Daisy noticed that Edna’s mouth was bleeding heavily.  Her face was a mask of pain and hate as they struggled.  She was only vaguely aware of the burning pain in her own right arm, and completely unaware of the blood oozing from her torn flesh. 

“Earl, do something”, Edna ordered.  But Daisy pressed her shoe into the horn again and again, in an attempt to keep him confused.  Other than that, there was not a thing she could do with her feet.  She had to get her hands in the car, then she might get it started.  Then, she might get to the radio and call for help.  In desperation, she turned and kicked Edna Mae in the face and in the chest with her heels while holding on to the General’s roof for balance.  As soon as she had gotten the space she needed, Daisy dove for the ignition switch, keeping Edna at bay with her feet outside the window.  She pumped her legs up and down, keeping them moving while she keyed the ignition.  She hit the horn again to keep Earl at bay, then reached for the gear shift. 

Suddenly, Daisy was pulled back before she could reach it.  Edna’s talons were now gripped tightly around Daisy’s slender ankles.  She gripped the steering wheel with her arm to prevent Edna from pulling her all the way out of the car.  “Earl, help me!” Edna repeated for the third time.  It had seemed like an eternity, but the fight had really only been going on for about 5 seconds. 

The CB blared again.  Someone calling for “Bo Peep”.  It was Cooter!  Daisy reached for the CB, but her fingers came up short.  “What can I do?” Earl asked, frantically. 

“Get over there and get her hands before she either gets the car going or calls for help on that CB!”  Edna Mae ordered him.  “Do you still have a zip-tie?” she asked.

“I think so!” 

“Well, use it!”  Edna Mae was reasonably sure she had one more in the back pocket of her jeans.  She didn’t think she’d need it, but now it looked like it would come in handy. 

Meanwhile, Daisy had gripped the steering wheel with both hands and pulled as hard as she could toward the CB.  Edna dug her fingernails into Daisy’s ankles and put one of her boots against the General’s door, pulling backward with all her might.  But her fingernails slipped and she fell backward, releasing Daisy’s ankles. 

Daisy felt Edna Mae’s fingernails digging in through her pantyhose, the sheer nylon of which may have prevented her from getting a really solid grip.  She pulled herself to the CB mike and pressed the button as Earl reached through the passenger side window and seized her wrist in his.  “Cooter, this is Daisy…..”  That was as far as she got when Earl ripped the cord from the microphone out of Bo and Luke’s CB.  Daisy was trying to hold on to the driver’s door window with her legs to prevent being dragged out the passenger window by Earl, when she felt Edna’s raptor grip around her ankles again. 

This time, Edna turned her back against the General’s door and wrapped her left arm around both Daisy’s calves at one time.  Then she tightened her arm around them.  Trapping them both with one arm, her right hand was free to pull the zip tie from her back pocket.  Edna was glad she had made a loop with her zip-tie.  She would have had a hard time doing this with one hand while she held the girl’s kicking legs with the other.

Meanwhile, Earl was having problems of his own.  He had Daisy by one wrist and she was trying to rearrange his face with her free hand.  Earl had to use both hands to hold her by the wrists.  Finally, by overpowering her, he was able to move her left hand over to her right.  Since she still had the CB mic in her right hand, he used the cord to pin both wrists together.  Then he was able to hold them like that long enough to fish his last zip-tie from his pocket. 

Edna Mae was having a time trying to get the zip-tie on over the girl’s shoes.  She managed to get the loop over both shoes.  But the high-heels got in the way and made it more difficult.  The loop would simply not stretch far enough to accommodate both 5 inch stiletto-heels simultaneously.  But she found that if she stretched it toward one, then tucked that heel inside and pulled it up over the back of the shoe, then she could slide it up a little farther and do the same with the other shoe. 

Daisy felt the plastic against her ankles, then heard a loud “zip”.  It sounded like a seam ripping, but seemed to go on a lot longer.  Then she felt a painful burn and a tightening around her ankles as Edna zipped them tightly together.  “Okay, sweet-cheeks”, she mocked.  “Your ass is caught!”

Daisy realized that with her ankles tied, any chance of escape was now lost.  With that, she gave up and allowed Earl to slide the other zip-tie over her wrists and tighten it.  She did not resist when he pulled her out the passenger window of the General and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.