No Loose Ends

Chapter 7

The glass slipped completely out of Daisy hands and crashed to the floor.  Daisy stepped back just in time to feel broken glass peppering her legs.  “Shhhhhhhhhhhh----oooot!”, she swore.

“Oh sweet cheeks!” Edna exclaimed.  “That’s gonna cost you!” she smiled.

Daisy looked ruefully at her legs, hoping she wasn’t cut.  There did not seem to be any marks other than the scratches Edna had made earlier.

“First, you can get down on your knees and clean it up”, Edna told her.  “Then we discuss your discipline!”

“All right”, Daisy said.  “Where’s the dust pan and broom?”

“No”, Edna said firmly.  “Use your hands”.

“What?” Daisy asked.

“I said use your hands.  And get down on your knees to do it”.

“Now wait just a minute”, Daisy exclaimed.  “This is nuts.  I’ll clean up the mess and you can punish me, but I’m NOT getting down on this floor on my knees for you or anyone else!” she said with more conviction in her voice than she felt.

Edna stepped up directly in front of Daisy, shaking the whip in her face.  “Either you get down on your knees on this floor and pick up every last piece of broken glass this instant, or I swear I will put a dog collar and a leash on you and WALK you through it on your hands and knees until ….. well, use your imagination”, Edna spat.

Daisy sighed, “Yes ma’am”, and slowly, carefully, lowered herself to the floor.  She checked the floor under her knees carefully as she knelt to make sure she wasn’t kneeling on any pieces.  Gingerly, she swept the glass with her bare hands, picking up a double-handful, then getting up just as carefully and taking it to the trash can.  Once she dumped it in, she brought the trash can back with her and slowly knelt again, wincing as she found a tiny piece with her right knee.  She quickly got back up and swept the piece from her hose, leaving a tiny cut that started to bleed instantly.  “Damn”, she swore under her breath.   Before kneeling again, she swept her bare hand over the floor looking for more sharp pieces.  She found one with her fingers this time. “Ow!” she groaned.

Edna laughed.  “It’s not the big pieces you have to look out for.  It’s all the little ones”, she told Daisy.  “And you’re not getting up off your knees until you’ve found every last one of them”, she said.  “Because….”, she went to the cabinet by the back door and removed a dog collar and leash.  “You’re the one that’s going to be crawling on this floor when you’re done, so you’d better be sure you’ve got it all!” Edna told her.

“Why are you doing this?” Daisy questioned as she paused from her work for a moment.  “I came along as your hostage.  I didn’t agree to come and be your slave”, she said.

Edna straddled Daisy’s back and slid the training collar over Daisy’s head.  It was one of those smooth chains with a ring on either end that would tighten when pulled back.  She clipped the leash to the end of it and pulled it hard enough to give Daisy a start.  “You didn’t agree to come along in the first place, sweet-cheeks”, she said through gritted teeth.  “You were kidnapped, if you will recall.  That means that you don’t get to set the rules, I do!  Now get with the glass clean-up.  I want this floor clean.”  Edna sat back in a chair, holding the end of the leash, watching as Daisy continued to carefully pick up the final shards of broken glass.  Once in awhile, she would jerk and wince, either sticking one of her fingers with a sharp fragment or setting her knee on one. 

Finally, she started to get to her feet, “There, it’s all done!” she said, sucking on one of her fingers.  She dusted off her knees over the trash can in case there were any more fragments on her hose.  She had just finished cleaning the floor and did not want any pieces to fall back on it.  She had already swept the floor carefully with her bare hands to find any remaining pieces.  She looked ruefully at one tiny bloodstain over her right knee.  It could have been much worse, she knew.

“Very good.  Now crawl”, Edna told her. 

“Please”, Daisy begged.

“Do it!” Edna ordered, swatting Daisy across the back of her shorts with the whip.

“OK, ok”, Daisy crawled.

Uncle Jesse parked the General outside the jail.  He found the two boys occupying the same cell.  “Did you two hooligans get stopped in Chickasaw County?” he asked.

“Yeah”, Bo said sheepishly.  “We was kinda embarrassed about it and in light of everything else, we didn’t want to tell ya”, he said.

“OK, but don’tcha see?”, Uncle Jesse began.  “This means you was seen by someone else and that they have a record of the time you was there.  This is actually good news!”, he told them.

“Hey, that’s right”, Roscoe agreed.  “I’ll just get Sheriff Little on the line and get him to verify.  It was him who stopped you right?”

“Right”, the boys agreed.

Roscoe began dialing.  “You let me ask him a few questions when you get through Roscoe”, Boss drawled, then put his cigar back when he was done.

“Sure thing, little fat buddy”, Roscoe said placatingly as he put the phone on speaker.

Sheriff Big Ed Little picked up, himself, on the third ring.  “Chickasaw County Sheriff’s Office.  This is Sheriff Little speaking”.

“Ed, this here’s Sheriff Roscooooooooe Peeee. Coltrane speaking to ya from Hazzard County.  Them Duke boys was in your neck of the woods.  I gotta citation here that you gave ‘em.  Is this here time accurate?”

“Well, of course, it’s accurate Coltrane.  Are you questioning my judgment?”

“Why no, Ed.  I just need to verify that they was in Chickasaw County as that time because it kinda clears ‘em on another matter.”

“Roscoe”, Luke whispered.  “Ask him about the girl that was with us.  He can verify that we had someone with us and who she was!”

“Oh, and Ed”, Roscoe began.  “Them Duke boys.  Did they have a young lady with them?” he asked.

“Uh yeah, they did”, Sheriff Little began.  “Tall, brunette, about 25 or 26 years old.  Sound like anyone you know?” 

Roscoe looked from side to side quickly, “Uh yeah, it does”, he said.  “Can you verify what she was wearing?” he asked, his heart sinking.

“Well, she had on a sleeveless blouse and jeans from what I could tell”, he said.

Boss Hogg interrupted, “Could she have been wearin’ shorts?” he asked.

“Now wait a minute, J.D.” Uncle Jesse protested.  “He never said she looked like Daisy”.

“He didn’t have to, Jesse.  You heard the description as clear as I did!  She sounds just like Daisy to me”.

Sheriff Little overheard the conversation in the background and sensed what was up.  “I don’t know for sure if it was the Duke girl or not.  I assumed that it was, since she was in the company of the two boys.  All I can tell you is what I saw.  I described what she was wearing.  I didn’t see no shorts, but then again, she was on the other side of the pickup and all I could see of her jeans was the tops.  So if you ask me was she wearin’ shorts, all I can say is that she coulda been.  My initial impression was that she was wearin’ jeans, that’s all I can tell you.”

“All right then”, Boss Hogg smiled smoothly.  “That’s good enough for me!”

“Wait a minute!” Luke interjected.  “You said jeans.  Was she wearing blue jeans?” he asked the phone.

“I think so”, Sheriff Little added.  “That’s what I seem to remember”.

Boss Hogg and Roscoe looked at Bo and Luke with a confused expression on their faces.  “Don’t y’all remember, Daisy was wearin’ her red jean shorts!  They weren’t blue at all!  So the girl with us couldn’t have been her!”

Boss waved him off.  “That don’t mean no difference.  I saw Daisy Duke myself earlier today and if you asked me to describe what she was wearing I’d have said she had on blue jean shorts.  Jeans is jeans and all we remember is that they was jeans.  The color ain’t even important.  Since most jeans is blue, we naturally assume that they’re blue, right Sheriff Little?”

“Uh”, Sheriff Little began.  “I really couldn’t be much help to ya there”, he said.

“Well why not?” Boss Hogg asked, pulling the cigar from his mouth.

“On account of………I’m color blind!”