April Fools in Hazzard County

by: Jamanda

<Based on a true story>

Balladeer: Well, it’s April 1st and ya’ll know what that means…Payday…also a good day for some good ol’ practical jokes.

Bo and Luke are driving the pickup.

Bo: Cousin this has got to be one of your best ideas yet.
Luke: Yep. Soon as we have the go ahead from Rosco.

Balladeer: Now in case ya’ll are wondering why the boys ain’t driving the General, well it’s because they need the truck to do this job right. And in case you’re wondering what Rosco has to do with this, that’s because Boss and Rosco are the official diversion.

The Duke boys listen in on the police channel.

Rosco: (over CB) Enos? You got your ears on come on?
Enos: Right here Sheriff.
Rosco: I need you to meet me at the Boar’s Nest for a meetin’ with the Boss.
Enos: I’m on my way.

Bo: That’s our cue.
Luke: Hit it.

Bo and Luke drive home to the farm and load up the truck. After an hour or so, they drive the truck over to the boarding house, where they meet up with Cooter and Cletus.

Luke: Ya’ll have any trouble?
Cooter: Nope. Doesn’t even lock his doors.
Cletus: He’s too trustworthy.
Cooter: The gun safe was heavy though.
Bo: Well we’ll just take this stuff back to the farm and let you have all this.

With that, Bo and Luke take Cooter’s truck back to the farm and unload it. By lunchtime, the task is completed, and they all meet back at the Boar’s Nest for lunch.

Bo: You think it’ll work?
Luke: It’s the best prank ever.
Cooter: Shhhh. There’s Boss.
Boss: (coming out of office) All right then Rosco. You and Enos get on that first thing next week.
Rosco: (peering over at Bo and Luke) Yes sir.
Luke: <winks at Rosco> Mission accomplished.
Rosco: Now Enos, there ain’t much else to do ’til next week so, go ahead and take the rest of the day off.
Enos: Possum on a gumbush sheriff! Really?
Rosco: Yeah really. Now go on, git on home. Gkuh Gkuh.

But Enos goes over to the bar and starts talking to Daisy.

Daisy: The rest of the day off. What are you gonna do with all that time sugar?
Enos: Well…I wish I could spend it with you…
Daisy: Well you just wait right here.

Daisy touches his cheek and walks over to Boss. After some shuck and jive, she also gets the rest of the afternoon off.

Daisy: All set Enos.
Enos: Hot dang!

The two of them leave together as Rosco and Boss go over to the boys.

Rosco: Doh. I didn’t think that’d happen.
Luke: Don’t worry about it. They’ll both go home eventually.
Bo: Yeah. Since when does Enos bring Daisy home late?
Boss: That’s why I wasn’t too worried. They might’ve been suspicious if I didn’t let her shuck and jive me into giving her an afternoon off too.
Cooter: Think Enos suspects anything?
Rosco: That dipstick? Course not.
Cletus: Even if he did…I don’t think he’d suspect to go home and find Daisy’s bedroom instead of his.

They all laugh and have a round of drinks.

Balladeer: Well, everyone went about their day as usual, with an evening round of drinks at the Boar’s Nest.

Luke: So they’re not back yet?
Rosco: Nope.
Boss: Ain’t seen ’em.
Bo: You think they found ’em?
Cooter: We’re about to find out.

Daisy swings the door open and storms in.

Daisy: BO AND LUKE DUKE!
Luke: <grins> She found it.
Daisy: WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO TO MY BEDROOM!? WHERE IS ALL MY STUFF!?
Bo: Where do you think?
Daisy: <gasping> You mean…all my stuff is…?
Cooter: Well…what’s in your bedroom, if it isn’t your stuff?
Daisy: I opened up my closet and found nothing but flannel shirts and police uniforms. And there ain’t nothing in my dresser but shorts and long johns! And since when do I keep pictures of myself everywhere?
Luke: Doesn’t sound like your room at all…
Daisy: Do you mean to tell me….?

Just then, Enos comes into the Boar’s Nest, red in the face.

Enos: Ding dang it you two Dukes play dirty now!
Cooter: Oh come on…I bet you like the improvement.
Enos: What am I gonna do with frilly curtains, pink flowers everywhere, and a closet full of stuff I ain’t ever gonna fit into?
Luke: Oh come on.
Cooter: You didn’t check the drawers did ya?
Enos: After seeing what was in my closet, I wasn’t about to open them drawers…
Daisy: You switched our bedrooms?
Bo: Yes ma’am we did.
Luke: And everything in them.
Enos: <raises eyebrows> Everything?
Cletus: Everything.
Enos: Possum on a gumbush…
Daisy: Luke…this has got to be…one of the craziest stunts you ever…
Luke: Hey, what else are we gonna do? It’s April Fool’s Day.
Daisy: I suppose.
Enos: Well, let’s go Daisy.
Daisy: All right.
Rosco: Wait a minute…where’ve you two been all day?

Daisy and Enos look at each other, and then back at everyone else.

Enos: We just went over to Chicamahonny and got married.
Daisy: Bye!

With that, Enos puts his arm around Daisy’s waist and they both walk out. Everyone else looks at each other.

Luke: Do you really think they did?

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