One Good Turn Deserves Another

by: Chet

***Mid winter of 2005*** 

“Grab him Bo! Hold onto him!” Luke Duke’s deep voice carried over the crowd in the Boars Nest. “Hold on! Hold on!”

A strong Duke back thunked as it hit the wall in the bar and restaurant, boots scrapped and scuffed as they moved over the hard wood floors in aggressive movement. Three heavy Duke men hit the floor in a heap, a twist of arms and legs flailing in every direction.

“GET OFF ME!” A deep cold voice growled from beneath two of the three bodies. “Get off, let go, damnit!”

Chet Duke shoved at his uncle and father trying to get there pinning weight off him, his boots ground against the floor causing his spurs to jingle. He bared his teeth gritting them as his left shoulder and hip screamed against the strain and more blood stained his dark blue wrangler shirt.

“We’ll get off when you COOL off!” Bo Duke held onto his rogue son with all his strength, keeping the younger man pinned down as best he could.

Across the room Rosco and Enos were in a similar situation, a short stocky man was bent over a round table, Enos held him down with all his strength while the Sheriff struggled to put hand cuffs on him. The struggle with the gruff stranger was over as quickly as it started, the cuffs closed tightly around his wrists and he was hauled out.

With a growl of annoyance and disdain Chet gave a hard push with his legs straitening them out and rolling his blond father off him in the process. Luke Duke’s eyes narrowed slightly and he shifted his boots digging against the floor as he tried to overpower the younger Duke man. Chet cranked his neck around turning cold mismatched eyes on him his front teeth bared, with a hard shove he loosened the older Duke and shook him off.

Luke rolled away and got to his feet pulling Bo up with him, he was very aware of what the younger man was capable of and didn’t want to be in the path of his wrath. They both stepped back to watch Chet get up and make sure he wasn’t looking to fight more.

Pressing his lips Chet shifted onto his knees, his hip screamed and he clamped his hand down over the bleeding wound as he got to his feet. He stood for a long moment before he scooped his cowboy hat off the floor and tucked it down on his head. Without a word he left the Boars Nest, glaring at Enos on his way out, his mismatched eyes narrow on the deputy, daring him to try and arrest him.

Luke dusted himself off letting out a heavy held breath, brushing the dirt and dust off his shirt and jeans mumbling to Bo. “He’s about as friendly as a diamond back in cold weather.”

Bo nodded. “Yeah, he reminds me of a coy dawg, half wolf, half domestic dog, and you never know which half your gonna get. ” He sighed and paused looking down at the smear of blood on his hands. “An he’s hurt pretty bad.”

Luke glanced at his cousins hands and passed him a bar towel that Daisy kindly brought over. “He’ll be alright, I watched the fight he had the upper hand on the knife the whole time. Besides we’ve seen him take a bigger lickin’ then that, shake himself off like a big bull and walk away.” He patted his cousin on the back reassuringly. “He’ll be fine.”

***Five Days Later***

A pair of well-aged blue eyes scanned the Boars Nest, years as Hazzard County’s Sheriff made it easy for Rosco to pick everyone he knew out on a Friday night. There was the Dukes, Luke, Bo, Breyer, Jessie Mae, Daisy was working, Enos was off patrol and enjoying a buttermilk at the bar with Cooter who was in for dinner.

The Sheriffs brow creased a little, a face was missing, as much as he didn’t welcome the young man and the trouble that came with him. Chet was still a regular and he hadn’t seen that black Stetson sitting at its usual corner table in the room in five days.

“No Chet since the fight, unusual, very unusual.” Rosco mumbled to himself making his way towards the lot of Dukes sitting around a pair of adjoining tables.

There was laughter at the table and popcorn flew from one younger generation of Dukes at another. Breyer and Jessie Mae laughed and giggled pausing to look up at the Sheriff with suspicion as he approached.

“Naughty, naughty, no throwing popcorn in the Boars Nest, floors don’t clean themselves ya know.” The Sheriff chuckled and pulled his heavy gun belt up lingering near the table, his eyes fell on Bo.

Bo’s brow creased immediately, the unusual down cast look of the usually light hearted Sheriff concerned the Duke man. “Whats the matter Rosco?”

Rosco cleared his throat. “Have you seen Chet lately?”

It was Luke’s turn to raise his brow, he met a quick glance from Bo and waited to let his cousin answer.

“No I ain’t. I ain’t seen him since the other night when he was in here brawlin’.”

The lines in the Sheriff’s face creased deeper and his mouth turned down tighter before he responded. “That was five days ago Bo, I been in here every night this week taken care of county business and I ain’t seen him.”

Daisy approached the table at that moment to place more sodas and beers on it, she paused to listen seeing that the laughter had abruptly ended. Bo looked at her his brow creasing deeper.

“Daisy I saw you in town earlier today, have you seen Chet around by any chance?” Luke asked before Bo could.

“No sugar, I haven’t seen him.” She paused a moment as well and her brow raised. “I haven’t seen him since Sunday nights brawl as a matter of fact.”

“No one else has seen him around either.” Bo frowned and looked back at Luke then Rosco. “You think something has happened to him?” He looked between them now, he could remember looking at the blood on his hands from the wounds Chet sustained in the brawl.

“Jit, I don’t know Bo, much as none of us like or trust him he still usually comes around for supplies and female company. Its colder then usual, it would be real easy to freeze to death out there if someone was injured.” Rosco shifted his weight, he didn’t like the idea of going looking for the young cowboy, but it was his official duty to look after the folks of Hazzard County, no matter who they were.

“Well, none of us really know where he goes, or stays rather.” Luke started. “But I’ve seen him ride out Razor Back Ridge when I been up there hunting, my guess is he hides out in the old ghost town.” Luke offered the information but didn’t move to offer help finding his rogue nephew, it was one thing to brawl with him on neutral ground but another to venture into his territory.

“You be careful if you go lookin’ for him Rosco, he… just ain’t like the rest of us.” Bo’s Duke’s brow creased tightly, it was no secret to anyone his son could be a dangerous man to cross. No one really knew what had transpired in his past, but there was no doubt there was blood on his hands and darkness in his heart.

Rosco frowned but nodded just the same, he appreciated there concern for his safety, without another word the Sheriff left the Boars Nest, it was too late in the evening to go about his task. It would have to wait until morning.


By the break of dawn the next day old Sheriff Rosco was already awake, rubbing sleep from his eyes and brewing his second pot of coffee. The creases around his eyes were deep, evidence that he hadn’t really slept much, his heart ached with a terrible dread. A bad feeling had consumed him during the night and now his guts twisted, he feared his trip up onto Razor Back Ridge would turn out to be a recovery mission. Drawing a deep breath he downed another cup of oil like coffee and warmed the police cruiser up that sat in front of his family’s age old farm house.

Rosco paused by the outdoor thermometer on the wall of the old house. “Twenty Five degrees, ooohoo thats cold… too cold.” His frown tightened.

The trip seemed longer than usual to Razor Back Ridge, the roads were not well traveled and the ruts had frozen with the unusual cold making the trip all the more difficult. As he peeked the highest part of the Ridge the tops of tattered and wind beaten buildings came into view, a lone standing wind mill turned lazily in the distance.

Heeding Bo and Luke’s warning the Sheriff slowed his approach, if a terrible fate had not befallen the younger Duke then his sudden appearance would not be warmly welcomed. As the cruiser eased into the streets of the Sleepy City ice blue eyes scanned the surroundings and slowed to a halt in front of what was once a prospering livery stable.

A pair of horses nickered and rattled around at the back of the old livery barn door, Rosco ventured into the barn immediately noting that the water trough was empty and the animals had no feed in there pasture. His stomach sank, there was only one reason the cowboy wouldn’t take care of the big red gelding and the little mustang mare, only one thing would keep him from taking care of his animals.

Swallowing hard Rosco opened a bale of hay and pitched it over the fence to the hungry horses, working the handle on the pump into a well he watered them before making his way down the dusty, windswept street of the sleepy city. He shivered as the cold wind blew down the collar of his uniform jacket, it was a relief to step into the Lucky Lady Saloon. His relief was cut short as a mouth full of wolf teeth met him, guarding the base of the stairs leading into the hotel part of the saloon.

“Jit!” Rosco stepped back eyeing the big timber wolf, the dogs big paws were planted at the base of the stairs. “Nice doggy… be nice now.” The sheriff’s eyes landed on the leather collar around the timber’s big neck and he swallowed digging in his pocket, he produced a dry biscuit left over from yesterday’s breakfast.

Experimentally he tossed one to the dog’s feet and it was immediately gobbled up, the food brought the hungry wolf forward to sit down in front of Rosco and beg with one paw. The sheriff gladly handed the second biscuit over and held his hand out to be sniffed. When the sheriff passed inspection the wary animal hurried back up the steps, Rosco followed suspecting the loyal canine would return to his master.

The Coltrane’s suspicions proved to be right, he followed the dog down a narrow hallway and watched the animal disappear through an open door into a room. Rosco slowed and paused outside of the hotel room door, his hand lowered and he removed the tie down on his pearl handled revolver. He had expected that he would have come across trouble before now if he was going to, but just for good measure.

Drawing the pistol he supported it with both hands and nudged the door open further with his elbow gently. His breath left him at the sight before him, his gun shook in his hand as it was lowered and returned. Rosco’s ice blue eyes stared at the young man laying flat on his back on a small bed for a long moment, comparing the color of his skin to the sheets and the blanket that covered him up to his chest.

A bloody bandage lay over the young cowboys left shoulder covering the knife wound he had sustained in the brawl. The boy didn’t stir when Rosco’s boots crossed the wood floors approaching the bed side, his throat constricted clenching a knot of dread there. The timber wolf’s eyes watched him as he rounded the bed and came up beside it, never wavering in there vigil. The sheriff hesitated before lowering his hand to ever so lightly touch the young man’s throat to seek a pulse.

Chet’s hand shot up from under the blanket to grasp Rosco’s wrist, the sudden movement startled the Sheriff and he stepped back with eyes peeled wide. The cowboys eyes cracked open in narrow slits, there mismatched appearance watery and unfocused.

“Easy… “ Rosco had to take a deep breath to completely find his voice, his arm shook alittle in Chet’s weak hold on his wrist, the boys hand was burning hot. “Easy… I-I came to help.”

Chet’s eyes narrowed and he blinked repeatedly trying to clear his vision, letting out a heavy breath that wheezed he released his hold on the old man’s wrist. He grimaced moving alittle to get comfortable again.

“Leave me alone.” His voice came out a rasping whisper and he settled back into the bed weakly.

Rosco frowned, his eyes returning to the bloody bandages. “I can’t do that.”

After some mild arguing Rosco lifted the young Duke off the bed, he had no choice and proved to be too weak to fight about it. The timber wolf followed as his master was carried out and laid in the back seat of the cruiser, by then Chet panted in pain and laid on the seat nearly limp in fatigue.

Against his better judgment, Rosco drove back to his own farm and laid the boy in a warm bed in his own house. He made a quick call to a local doctor who still did house calls, the grandson of Doc Appleby had taken over the old clinic and kept with his grandfather’s tradition. The physician came out to the Coltrane homestead. After only a short time the doctor had Chet’s wounds disinfected and carefully bandaged, a dose of antibiotics and a pain killer found the young man resting easy.

“Thank you doctor, your grand pap would have been proud.” Rosco shook the man in the white coats hand in appreciation.

“Thank you Sheriff.” The young doctor looked back at the outlaw laying in the Coltrane’s bed, a well-known criminal… in Rosco’s house? “My grand dad would have been proud… but he’d also ask if you were feeling alright?” The doctor paused. “That there is Chet Duke a…. a…. criminal… under this roof?”

“Jit, I know who he is, I got my reasons.” Rosco assured, he paid the physician and helped find his way to the door.

Once the doctor had left the Sheriff returned to stand by the bed where the young Duke rested, his old blue eyes watched him breathe easy now. He could remember last summer like it was yesterday, the very same outlaw had appeared out of nowhere and saved his life. After a simple traffic stop turned ugly, he could remember the four thugs taking hold of him and pummeling him. Just when it seemed like his life would end this rogue had come to his aid, seeming to come riding out of hell itself, Chet had evened up the odds making those very thugs eat dirt, fighting them right beside the Sheriff.

Rosco nodded to himself, he’d repaid the young man by looking the other way instead of arresting him, but the more the old Sheriff thought about it the more he felt like he owed the boy his life.  More recently Rosco could recall hearing about incidents from folks around town, Chet had turned the tables on a teenager trying to rob the Market on the corner, the teen had no more than cleared the door only to find himself roughly tossed back into the store. On two other occasions Rosco had gotten reports of the same situation, a youngster caught breaking into the bakery and another stealing money from the snack stand at the Theater. Both times Hazzard civilians had reported the mischievous plans coming to an end with similar results, each time Chet had been the one to spoil their plans. Had he been there by coincidence? Maybe if it had happened once, but to be there for all three incidences, not a coincidence, he was clearly watching the town for small time crime. Hazzard had become the young mans home and he was protecting what was his.

The Sheriff pulled a chair up by the bed and watched Chet as he rested, no one really knew much about him it seemed, not even his family. Most townsfolk feared or avoided him to the point that it was probably impossible for the young man to hold down an ordinary 9-5 job. Feeling old Rosco sighed and left the room going down stairs and into the kitchen to start on an early dinner, he’d eat alone tonight but have a guest tomorrow.


Chet opened his mismatched eyes and turned his head slightly to look around, the room was semi dark but a lamp in the corner gave off a warm soft glow. He knew immediately that it was no place he was familiar with, too warm, too comfortable and homely. Nervous he started moving around on the bed, pushing the blankets down he hissed as his shoulder lit up in pain. The rest of him felt stiff, heavy and empty, he couldn’t remember the last time he ate.

“Good to see your awake. Could ya eat?” Rosco leaned in the bedrooms door way announcing his presence.

Chet’s head came up abruptly and he blinked hard. “Where am I?”

“Well your at the Coltrane homestead, welcome to it.” Rosco nodded.

Shaking his head Chet moved to sit up, a strong hand on his back aided him and he winced at his hip.

“Nice an slow now, Doc said your gonna be stiff for awhile. That infection was a real doozy… another day and you’d been buzer’d bait.”  Rosco’s eyes lowered to the young man to make sure he was steady and his hand yanked away abruptly from the boys back.

The Sheriff stifled a gasp as his old blue eyes landed on Chet’s bare back. The scars there were horrendous, they covered the young mans back in quick short lines, deep and ugly. Rosco’s throat clenched, he’d only ever seen scars like this in old western movies, but he knew they were made by a bull whip. Someone had beaten the young man, lower on his back lay a deep dark mark branded into his skin by hot iron in the shape of a horse shoe.

His eyes shut tight and he stepped away, Chet wasn’t just mean and ornery for sport, he had every right to hate people. This was exactly why the young man didn’t trust a human soul, it was known that he trusted only animals. He had no reason to love his own kind, clearly they had beaten and tortured him. Rosco knew there had to be more scars on the inside of the boy, he had a feeling not all were physically evident.

“Th-theres… bacon, grits n… uh orange juice on the table. Biscuits be out in a few minutes. C’mon down an eat… ain’t a ree-quest.” Rosco walked away before Chet could answer and while he could still find his voice, his heart bled.


“Looks like you’ll never go hungry Sheriff.” Chet nodded to the food on his plate, doing what he could to break the ice at the Coltrane’s kitchen table.

He helped himself to another biscuit and continued to eat the bacon and grits on his plate, he wasn’t picky as long as it didn’t eat him first. Rosco nodded in response, finishing his own mouth full of breakfast before wiping his mouth with a fabric napkin.

“Most of the time I eat at the Boars Nest, don’t get much company out here.” The Sheriff sipped his coffee sitting back in his chair a little to look at the young man sitting at his table, for the life of him he couldn’t remember the last time a Duke was under the Coltrane homes roof.

“I didn’t exactly plan this visit.” Chet attempted some mild humor, wiping his own mouth and enjoying some of the hot coffee as well. His eyes lowered to the thick black liquid in the warm mug and he cleared his throat a little. “I am in your debt Sheriff, I knew my wounds were infected, if not for you comin to find me I would probably be dead by now. Thank you. I can pay you whatever I owe you for the doctor call and the medication, but I owe you for my life, I can’t repay you for that.”

Rosco smiled, he’d never heard anything this sincere out of the young mans mouth. “Khee, your welcome.” He was quiet a moment. “I do have a little something in mind as a way you could repay me. Khee-khee, I’m not getting any younger and if I don’t get the roof on this old house patched, welllll its liable to start falling in around me. Now Cooter says you’re good with a hammer and nails, suppose you could do some repairs for me?”

Chet nodded. “I’d be happy to, soon as I’m healed enough you let me know what needs to be done.”

The Sheriff smiled and continued to sip his coffee gazing out the kitchen window into the early cold morning. “I heard from some folks in town that you’ve been spoiling the plans of some local teenagers. Am I to assume you’re gonna stay and call Hazzard your home?”

“Maybe.” Chet made direct eye contact with the Sheriff.

“Hazzard is a good place to be in.” The old Coltrane smiled into his coffee cup, he knew what the boy wouldn’t say aloud.

Chet watched the Sheriff for a long moment, raising his right eyebrow slightly and taking in the Sheriffs features. “It’ll be a safe place to be in, long as I have anything to do with it, this is where I was born and this is where I’ll die.”

Rosco’s smile widened and his blue eyes landed on the young Duke. “Just remember, One Good Turn, Deserves Another.”

THE END   [Written January 2014]



B.L. Moves to Hazzard

by: B.L. Davenport

On a brisk September day in 1975, not cold but the temperature wasn’t too warm either, Brandy Lou Davenport or B.L. as she was better known; her brother and two older cousins having thought Brandy Lou was too big a name for such a tiny baby had quickly nicknamed her B.L. ; found herself being called to the principal’s office for what she couldn’t imagine she had not caused any trouble this day for doing so would have meant that the new youth 410 shotgun she had gotten for Christmas would not be used after school to open Dove season. Walking slowly to the office, she tried to remember all that she had done that could have gotten her into trouble but, nope nothing rang a bell she had been on her best behavior that day. Entering the office she noticed that her Uncle Allen and his wife Aunt Chessy were there along with her brother Longstreet B. Davenport or L.B as he was better known; all of them looking at her as if the roof might collapse on her head, L.B. had even been crying and did so now as he came over and picked her up.

“L.B. what is wrong with you? Your scaring me, quit it.”

Uncle Allen and Aunt Chessy stepped in now, Allen taking B.L. from her brother’s trembling arms, the young man really was a mess; tear tracks ran through the grease on his face that was left behind from working at the garage in town where he’d had a job since the summer before his eleventh grade year in school. Chessy knelt in front of her husband who held their niece on his knee, stroking one finger down the girl’s jaw her own lips trembling as she spoke.

“Darlin’ we come to take you home” “Why? Where are Daddy and Mama? Why didn’t they come? What’s going on?”

the questions spilled from the blonde teenage girl’s mouth like a faucet as she searched her own mind for answers to it all. The answer was soon to come L.B silently gave his Uncle and Aunt a look, that clearly said he thought he should be the one to break the news to his sister,

“He was k…killed this morning in an accident at the mine. Mama sent me to get you; Uncle Allen and Aunt Chessy came with me.”

L.B swallowed the baseball in his throat before continuing; B.L. had started to shake her head ‘no’ as tears streamed down her face, yet she knew her brother spoke the awful truth, continuing after he regained his composure L.B said

There mother had come down with Scarlet Fever a few weeks ago, so both L.B. and B.L. had been staying at their Uncle and Aunt’s house. There mother was over the disease now, but L.B. had decided they should stay with their Uncle, Aunt and Cousin Cooter a few more days to give their mother more time to recuperate.

In the days and weeks to come, B.L’s and L.B’s father was laid to rest in the family cemetery;
Only a short two years later in March of 1977, tragedy was to befall the siblings once more when L.B who was now man of the house since his father’s death, got the call that his mother had just passed on to be with their father, due to a massive heart attack; he shook his head and wiped his eyes he had to go get B.L. from school before she heard from someone else. An eerie since of de ja vu crept over B.L. as she walked slowly down the silent hallway lined with lockers painted in the school’s bright colors of blue, red and gold. Entering the office seeing L.B along with her Uncle Allen and Aunt Chessy, standing there made her stomach plummet to her shoes.

“What’s going on?”

Clearing his throat once, twice, three times before he could speak the young man hung his head sadly mumbling

“Mama had a massive heart attack that killed her a little while ago, remember the doctors told us that scarlet fever she had a couple of years ago, had done damage to her heart.”

Sitting in the nearest chair, B.L. tried to comprehend how first her father could be taken from her by a mining accident 2 years ago; now her mother.

Leaving the Hazzard High School, L.B his arm protectively around B.L.’s shoulders headed toward home with their Aunt and Uncle. A few days after laying their mother to rest beside their father, B.L. left the only house she’d ever known, to live with Uncle Allen and Aunt Chessy and Cooter while she finished high school. Six months later in September of 1977, just when B.L. thought the worst of her trouble had passed; she was once again summoned to the principal’s office. She hadn’t done anything wrong this day either, as far as she could recall anyway, she knew it was bad when she entered the office to find Cooter sitting there waiting for her.

“There was a car accident when Pa and Ma went on that parts run, Ma was killed instantly and Pa’s in a coma in Tri County.”

When the cousin’s arrived at the hospital, the man didn’t resemble much, the same man that they had eaten breakfast with that morning; now there was a bandage covering his dark brown hair instead of the greasy ball cap that read “Chattanooga Chew” that he’d worn to work that morning, although Allen wasn’t the type of man who partook in tobacco, the cap had been free and it was his favorite. It was yellow with a train on the front heading down the tracks. His blue grey eyes were closed and black/blue from the blood that was settling due to the accident.

B.L watched the rise and fall of his chest as the ventilator breathed for him, and thought how she and Cooter would never again see Chessy with her strawberry blonde hair and slightly crooked nose that had been broken at some point in her youth, the woman who was meant to be her second mother, after the death of her own mother would not be there with a hug and comforting words anymore, and it looked as if unless a miracle happened the man who had been like a second father these last two years would not be there either. Seventy-two hours later, B.L. and Cooter sat in a conference room at the hospital discussing what to do.

“I don’t know if I can do this B.L.”

Cooter sniffed not the weak sort but he was definitely a man in tune with his feelings.

“You don’t have a choice Cooter, you’re his kid not me so it’s your decision.”

Reaching to the chair next to him the young man hugged his cousin tight;

“It’s both our decision, you got just as much say as I do, because I say you have and to hell with the doctor’s rules.”

After some more talking and debating on what to do, the cousins agreed that it was more humane to turn off the machine’s allowing Allen to go to his reward in peace rather than to keep him alive by machines for their own peace of mind, at half past 5 p.m. the machine was turned off and the tubing removed leaving the two cousins orphaned but at peace with their decision.

“Cooter, I got a job!”

B.L. practically flew into the garage, her long dirty blonde ponytail streaming behind her. Cooter startled by the sudden commotion, bumped his head on the underside of the hood to the car he was working on, rubbing his sore head as he stood straight he grinned


B.L. pointed out of the garage’s bay door as if her cousin could miraculously see through any obstacles in his way,

“The Busy Bee Café, I get minimum wage and keep all my tips.”

Cooter listened then asked

“When do you start and what are the hours?”

“I start tomorrow after school, working till closing at 6. I work every afternoon and all day on Saturday.”

Cooter was thrilled for his younger cousin; it would sure make things easier around home if they were both working. The only problem was he didn’t want their need for money to pay bills to interfere with B.L.’s schooling and her participating on the track team at school; that just wouldn’t be fair to her. After all she had not asked to be orphaned at 13 and had not asked for his parents to be taken from her either, in the same way he had; after he’d gotten Beverly pregnant and married her before he had finished high school, having had to drop out in order to support his new family.

One night three months into the new routine, Cooter came home very late from the garage to find B.L. still sitting at the kitchen table an open book and notebook before her.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed? You have school tomorrow.”

B.L. shook her head ‘no’

“Big geometry test tomorrow, I gotta study”.

Cooter shook his head, washing his hands he sat down at the table with the plate of food B.L. had left in the oven for him, too tired to eat he stared at the food a several minutes, finally digging in the least he could do was eat some of it, after all B.L. had prepared the meal after going to school all day and then working after for a few hours, before she had even begun studying for the test, he marveled at how much in the last few months she had grown up and become a young lady instead of a little girl that everyone thought she still was.

Daddy Coltrain

by: Vixey

Disclaimer: the Dukes aren’t mine, Hazzard’s not mine, and Roscoe’s not mine, although I wish he was. All complainers will be cuffed and stuffed.

Vixey was tired. It had been 3 months since their son Patrick was born and neither one of them had gotten much sleep. Boss was constantly yelling at them for falling asleep on the job but he loved his nephew dearly. Daisy had been taking care of Patrick when she didn’t have to work, but today was not one of those days so he was with Vixey. She was enjoying being married and being a new mother again, but something wasn’t right. Even though she knew that Paul laws safely locked away, she still had nightmares, which robbed her of the little sleep she got. Roscoe wasn’t feeling much better either. He had never been a father before and it was harder than he thought but he loved every minute of it, well except the diapers.

As he came in from patrol, he saw Enos holding Patrick and Vixey smiling. “Be careful you dipstick. If you drop him I’m gonna knock you into the middle of next week.”

Vixey put her fingers to her lips. “Shh, Enos got him to sleep. He’s not going to drop him. He’s being very careful.”

Enos was grinning from ear to ear. “Gosh Vixey, he sure is cute.”

“Yeah and he looks like his daddy too,” Roscoe bragged.

“And he’s got his daddy’s hard head,” shot Vixey. She smiled as Roscoe gave her a look. She giggled. “He’s as stubborn as his Daddy too.” She yawned and sat down at her desk. “Just put him in his carrier when you’re done holding him.’ She leaned back and in a matter of minutes was almost asleep when Boss stormed in.

“Do I pay you to stand around all day looking at a baby? Get back to work!” He slammed his office door, which woke Patrick up. As he started to cry, Vixey took him from Enos and marched into Boss’s office. “Boss, just because you’re in a bad mood doesn’t mean you can take it out on an innocent baby and his mother who is very irritated because she hasn’t had much sleep in 3 months. Now if I were you, I’d calm myself down before you hurt yourself.” She took a deep breath and found that she felt better. “Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system would you like to hold your nephew?” He opened his mouth to say no, but closed it when he saw Patrick reaching for him. Vixey smiled and handed him the baby. Patrick looked up at Boss and cooed. Boss smiled, “well he didn’t turn out to bad for being Roscoe’s.”

“Now Boss, that’s not fair. Roscoe’s pretty smart when it counts. He figured out how to put the crib together.”

“Well that was one thing. Is he a good daddy?”

“Of course he is.”


“No buts, well maybe one. I just feel like something’s not quite right. Like someone’s in trouble or something.”

“That’s just nonsense you’re talking. Everything’s fine.”

“Boss, can I talk you about something?”

“I thought we were talking.”

“Well this is kinda personal. When you involve Roscoe in some of your schemes I know sometimes they get kind of dangerous. Roscoe’s got a family now and I don’t want anything to happen to him. So, next time you cook up one of your plans, just keep that in mind and try not to get Roscoe in such a dangerous position.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Thanks.” He handed Patrick back to her and sat back in his chair. As she sat down at her desk, the phone rang. “Hazzard County sheriff’s office? This is she.” Roscoe listened carefully. He hoped it wasn’t Paul.

She smiled as she recognized the voice. “I don’t believe it. How are you? Oh I’m fine. I’m married and we have a 3-month-old son. Yeah, uh huh that will be great. See you later then. Yeah I should be here. Okay, bye.” She smiled at Roscoe who looked very confused.

“Who was that?”

“An old friend I haven’t seen in 6 years. He’s coming this afternoon. You’ll meet him when he gets here.” He didn’t like the way she said old friend. He wondered who it could be. He thought he had met all her friends at the barbeque.
Later that day, Vixey was in stitches waiting for her friend. As she looked up from her paperwork, she heard an engine cut off. It sounded like a motorcycle. Roscoe looked up with interest. As the door opened, it revealed a man in his late forties with gray hair. He was wearing a battered old baseball hat, faded blue jeans and a blue shirt. He had a huge grin on his face.

“There’s my girl!” He strode over, picked her up and swung her around in a huge bear hug. Vixey also had a big stupid grin on her face.

“It’s been too long Quint.”

“You got that right. I got a surprise for ya.”

“Not more shark jaws I hope.”

“Nah,” he turned to the door, “come on in.”

As Roscoe looked at the door, a blondish brown haired woman in her late twenties walked in. She was wearing a red tube top and red leather shorts.

Vixey gasped. “Jayde, is that you?”

“No, I have a twin, of course it’s me.”

“I thought I heard that old Harley pull up.” Vixey stepped forward to hug them both.

Jayde got right to the point. “So where’s this husband and kid of yours?”

Roscoe stepped forward. “I’m her husband and our son is right there,” he pointed to the desk. Vixey picked up Patrick and handed him to Jayde. Roscoe tensed up, ready to dive to the floor in case Patrick was dropped but Vixey put her hand on his arm. “Calm down, Jayde’s been handling my kids ever since I started having them.”

“Sorry, Baby, I just don’t want anything to happen to him.”

“I know, but Jayde and Quint are like family. I mean these two nuts are the best friends a girl could have, next to her husband.”

“Well if you trust them then so do I.”

Jayde rolled her eyes. “Well great, now that we got all that fun stuff out of the way, how good of a chance is there that you’ll be able to show us around in the next ten minutes?”

“Not that good, I got 30 more minutes till I can punch out.”

“Well that bites a big one.”

“I know but I get to work with my hubby and my favorite deputy so it ain’t all bad.” She looked up as she heard the door open to see Bo and Luke walk in.

“Hey Vix, we just wanted to let you know we’ll be at the Boar’s Nest.”

“Great. Ohh, I have a great idea. Bo, Luke these are my best friends Quint and Jayde. These are two of my cousins. Why don’t you take them with you until I get off?”

“That’s a great idea,” Bo said, looking at Jayde. Vixey noticed that Bo and Jayde had an unspoken chemistry.
Meanwhile at an old cotton mill, two mean looking men were discussing their latest plans.

“So, Jack, what about the cops in this town?”

“Aw come on Moose, the sheriff’s so dumb he wont even know what hit him. He’s too busy being married for us to worry about. The way I figure, if we get in trouble, we kidnap his wife and we got the money in the bag.”

“I’ve heard about her. She’s a wild one from what I hear. So here’s what we do. At noon tomorrow, we run in, get somebody to open the vault and take the money. Then, we get us a hostage, maybe not the sheriff’s wife, but somebody that doesn’t look like they’d give us a lot of trouble.”

“Great, noon, tomorrow, we’ll be on easy street.”
That same time, Vixey was clocking out.

“Vixey, where do you think you’re going?” She turned around to see Roscoe glaring at her.

“I’m going to the Boar’s Nest to be with my friends and my family. And if you had any sense of fun, you’d clock out and go with me. Who knows, maybe we can get Daisy to watch Patrick tonight and we can have our own fun.”

Roscoe made his surprised noises that drove her crazy as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Come on Roscoe, live a little. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun. Go with me.”

“Well, ok let me clock out.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Within minutes, they were on their way, Patrick in tow. Moose and Jack were at the Boar’s Nest when they walked in.

“Hey Moose, that’s the sheriff’s wife.”

“She’s a purdy one. She looks familiar.”

“And that must be their kid. Who’d ever think that a nitwit like him could get a woman like her?”

Vixey and Roscoe sat down at the table next to their cousins. Bo, Luke, Uncle Jessie, Daisy, Jayde, Quint and Cooter were surprised to see Roscoe.

“Hey Roscoe, glad to know you can have fun with the rest of us,” Bo joked.

“Well, my wife convinced me to come.” He loved say ‘his wife’. He was proud to be married to a woman like Vixey, even though she had some weird friends and wild cousins. He was surprised to feel Vixey’s hand on his thigh. He looked at her questioningly. She smiled and continued talking. “You have no idea how much it takes to loosen him up sometimes.” Vixey looked at Jayde. Jayde at the moment was all but sitting in Bo’s lap. Bo couldn’t be happier.
Later, Jayde and Bo went for a ride on Jayde’s Harley Davidson. He was surprised to see a woman riding a heavy bike like this. Vixey had gotten Daisy and Uncle Jessie to watch Patrick and Bo suspected that they were parked in Skunk Hollow. As they rode by, Bo’s feelings were confirmed by Vixey’s caddy turning down the road that led to Skunk Hollow. Jayde also noticed it and shook her head and grinned. “I swear even marriage doesn’t change her wild ways.”

“She always this wild?”

“Sometimes wilder. I remember one Halloween she dressed up as a black cat. We went club hopping and by the end of the night she had about 30 phone numbers and the key to one guy’s apartment. She sent it back though. She was wild, but she wasn’t a slut, well much of one.”

“That’s my cousin.”
Vixey and Roscoe sat in the back seat. Roscoe had his arm around her and she was slowly falling asleep. They were listening to the radio and their close proximity made it hard for Roscoe to keep his mind on the music.



“How many more kids you want?”

“‘Bout a million,” she replied sleepily.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Yeah, let’s have about five or so.”

“Ok, Vixey?”


“Why did you marry me?”

She sat up and looked into his eyes. “Cause I love you, you nut.” His next thought was lost as he felt his wife’s lips on his. His arms instinctively wrapped themselves around Vixey’s waist as the rest of the world was forgotten.
Hours later, Vixey looked at her watch. It was getting late and they had to be at work in the morning. Roscoe had fallen asleep in the backseat so she carefully slipped into the front and started the motor. She smiled as she headed towards home. She hadn’t expected marriage this soon after Paul but Roscoe completed her. She wondered why he’d had asked her reasons for marrying him. It didn’t bother her that he was no Einstein; she loved his little dimwit moments. And she was the only one who thought his laugh wasn’t annoying. As she turned down their driveway, she wondered if she was going to have to carry Roscoe in the house or just leave him in the car. She knew how sound a sleeper he was. She carefully picked him up the way he had on their wedding night and entered the house. There was no sign of Jayde but Quint was snoring on the sofa. She was glad to have him around when she was feeling so uneasy. As she laid Roscoe down on the bed, he mumbled something in his sleep and pulled her down to the bed. Chuckling softly to herself she carefully wriggled out of his arms and pulled his uniform off, leaving him in his undershirt and boxers. She hung his hat on the bedpost and went in the den to call Daisy. Uncle Jessie answered.

“Did you have a nice evening Vixey?”

“I sure did Uncle Jessie.”


“Lets put it this way, I had to carry Roscoe in the house and put him to bed. He is conked out.”

She could hear him laughing. “Here’s Daisy.”

“Hey cuz.”

“Hey Daisy, how’s my little man?”

“He’s out like a light.”

“Just like his old man.”

“Had a good time did we?”

“You could say that. Are Jayde and Bo still out?”


“Well tell Jayde to call me when they do get in.”

“If I’m awake I will.”

“Ok and thanks for taking care of Patrick for me.”

“No problem, he’s an angel.”

“I know, well goodnight Daisy.”

“Goodnight Vixey.”

She hung up the phone and looked around for something to do. She wasn’t sleepy yet and she was a little hungry besides. She went to the fridge and found a turkey sandwich that she hade made yesterday and got to occupied to eat. “Whazzat?” She head Quint sleepily say. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“Nah, I was just resting my eyes.”

“Yeah sure you were.”

“Where’s Jayde?”

“Still out with my cousin.”

“Where’s Roscoe?”


“Good then we have time to talk.”

“About what?”

“I have two ex-friends coming this way to rob the bank. They wanted me to join in but I don’t do that sort of thing so I told them no. That’s when they came after me. I found Jayde and we came here to see you, and to warn you. I saw them in town this morning and at the Boar’s Nest later. I’m afraid they might hurt you.”

“How do they know me?”

“Remember Jack and Moose?”

“Oh no, them?”


“I though I recognized them. Jack used to ask me out every week.”

“I remember that. You remember when they robbed that jewelry store and Jack dropped his wallet and went to the police to claim it?”

She collapsed in a fit of giggles. “Talk about stupid. Roscoe would love to hear that one.”

“Yeah, you’d better get to bed.”

“I’m waiting to hear from Jayde.”

“I’ll wait up for her. I’m not sleepy anyway.”

“No I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I don’t sleep well the first night in a new place, you know that.”

“Me neither. Well ok. Goodnight Quint.”

“Night Vix.” He sighed as he watched her go down the hall. Roscoe was a lucky man, he thought to himself.
As Vixey slid under to sheets next to her husband, he groaned and rolled over, his arm curling around her waist and pulling her closer.

“You sleepy?”

“No, you?”

“I was, but now I just want to hold you.”

“I love you Roscoe.”

“I love you too Vixey.” As they drifted off to sleep, Vixey thought about what Quint had said.
The next morning, Jack and Moose had moved their plan up to 9am, opening time. As Vixey walked down the street towards the post office, she head the bank’s alarm and saw two men running out with big sacks. She guessed what had happened and started running toward the sheriff’s office to tell Roscoe. As Jack drove away, Moose told him to get next to the curb so he could grab a running red head. Carefully, Jack drove up beside the curb and Moose jumped out and pounced on Vixey.

“Get you hands off of me. Help!” She tried kicking him with her heels but he pinned her legs and arms and drug her to the awaiting van. Cooter saw the whole thing and got on the CB to tell the boys and Roscoe. By the time Roscoe got outside, he caught a glimpse of the van but couldn’t get a plate number.

Meanwhile in the van, the two men had just realized who they had caught. “Vixey?”

“Moose let me go.”

“No way, I remember how good you are with your heels. I still got a scar.”

“Well you deserved it. Come on you guys, are you still robbing banks?”

“Yep,” Jack said from the front seat. They drove out of town with Roscoe in hot pursuit. Jack looked back at him nervously.

“You’d better get on the radio and tell your husband to back off or we’re gonna start shooting.”

“I don’t think so.” In one movement, she wriggled free of Moose’s grasp and kicked the back doors open. Moose came after her but she gave him a kick to the knee and jumped out of the moving vehicle. As she fell, she tucked her head into her body and rolled into the grass. She heard the squeal of the brakes and jumped up to face her would-be attacker. To her surprise, it was Roscoe.

“You ok,” he worriedly asked as he hugged her tight.

“I’m ok, I just need some air.”

“Ok,” he said still hugging her.

“Roscoe, let go I cant breathe.” He finally let go enough for her to suck in deep breaths.

“I was afraid I was gonna lose you.”

“Not with those two around.”

“You know them?”

“Unfortunately yes. One of them used to go out with Jayde. They’ve been robbing banks for 10 years now and haven’t got any better.”

Roscoe giggled his sexy giggle. “Well now what?”

“Well if I know them, they’re hanging around an abandoned building.”

“Well that’s a lot of looking to do.”

“Yeah, lets get the gang together at Cooter’s and discuss our plan.”

“Good idea.” So Vixey got on the CB and radioed Uncle Jessie who called Daisy, Who called Bo and Luke, Who called Jayde and Quint who Called Cooter, who called Enos. Daisy left Patrick with Mrs. Tindsdale and they all met up at the garage where Vixey told them the story of Moose and Jack. Jayde filled in the parts about she and Moose dating and made a face while she was telling it. Just then. Boss came in as mad as a hornet.

“You Duke boys robbed my bank!”

“No Boss,” Vixey protested, “They didn’t. Two guys named Moose and Jack did. They kidnapped me, but I got away. I’ve known them since high school and even then they were trouble.” She told them how they were suspended almost every day.

“Did you notice anything about the van,” Bo asked.

“Well, not really, just this flower that I found in the back.” Vixey showed then the purple and red flower that she had found.

“That’s a rare Violet rose,” Enos pointed out, “And they only grow one place in Hazzard. The old grits mill on Catfish Creek Road. Let’s go.”

“Not me,” Roscoe started, “Me and Vixey are gonna stay here.”

Vixey gave him and angry look. “Says who?”

He looked at her in surprise. “You mean you wanna go after them?”

“OF course. Now what are we waiting for?”
So they all headed after Jack and Moose, who were back at their hideout counting up their money. Meanwhile, the Posse was closing in on our bumbling bank robbers.
“Well Moose, I guess we better pack up and move to the next town.”

“I still want to see Jayde.”

“Well we ain’t got time for romance.” Jack looked outside and saw the cars driving up. “We got company, but how’d they find us so fast?”

“I dunno.”

“You didn’t tell Vixey anything did ya?”

“Nope, not a word.”

“Well let’s figure it out later.” They hurriedly packed up the money and jumped into the van. To their surprise, it didn’t start.

“What’s going on?” Jack sputtered as the engine coughed.

“Looking for this,” Came a familiar voice. Vixey stepped out from behind a tree holding what Moose recognized as the distributor cap.

“I don’t think you’ll get anywhere fast without this.” Moose started for her, but he tripped. Looking at his feet, he saw that his shoelaces were tied together and Jayde was standing behind him laughing her head off.

“Looks like you fell for it again.”

“Hey Jayde.”

“Don’t you hey Jayde me after you tried to kidnap my best friend.”

“Oh I was just kidding.” Bo had caught up with Jack, who had made a run for it when Moose had tripped.
Well the State Police came and took Moose and Jack to jail. Vixey said that they could write to her if they behaved themselves. Jayde and Quint decided to stay for a while since Jayde and Bo were getting closer and Quint wanted to be a godfather to Patrick. And Vixey and Roscoe went back to being themselves, two opposites completely in love with each other.

A Hazzard Wedding

by: Vixey

Hazzard’s finest gets married.

Well, the big day had arrived. Roscoe and Vixey’s wedding. All of Hazzard was coming out for the biggest event since the day that Boss had to tell the truth. No body believed either one would happen. I have a feeling that this day is going to go perfectly.

February 14, 11:30 am

Vixey was nervous and Daisy and the boys coming in the check on her every five minutes was not doing her any good. Today had started out a disaster. Her parents were stuck in France, her brother Mark’s wife was having a baby and Richard was in the hospital for a broken leg and as for her sister, well she couldn’t be found. Uncle Jessie was going to give her away and Daisy was going to be her maid of honor. Her best friend Jayde was supposed to be her maid of honor but she had surgery on her back and couldn’t move for three more weeks. Her wedding guests had been reduced to half of what it was supposed to be. Just then, there was a knock on her bedroom door.
“Who is it?”
“Sheriff Little, come out with you wedding dress on!” She opened the door and died laughing when she saw Ed in a suit and tie. She hugged him. “I’m glad you showed up.” She told him all the stuff that was going on. He looked at her and saw that she was about to cry. He reached out his arms and she stepped into them.

Meanwhile at the Coltrain residence, Momma Coltrain was more nervous that Roscoe. “Oh my baby’s getting married.”
“Now momma don’t think of it as losing a son, think of it as gaining a daughter. And you like Vixey, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, but.”
“No buts Momma and maybe in a while, you’ll be a grandma.”
“Oh Roscoe, you’re gonna be a great daddy.”

Back at the farm, Ed released Vixey and wiped away a tear. “Now come on Vixey, this is a happy time.”
“I know, I just never thought I could be in love again after Alec. Now you need to scoot and send Daisy back in here, my bra’s killing me.”
He laughed and kissed her cheek. “Good luck, I’ll see you at the church.”
A few minutes later, Daisy walked back in. “Daisy this bra is killing me, I have got to do something.” Daisy adjusted it.
“That better?”
“Yes, now if only time will go faster, I can get married.”
“Are you nervous?”
“No, well yeah, but something doesn’t feel right, as if something’s going to happen.”

The ceremony went off without a hitch, well almost. Enos misplaced the rings, Roscoe almost passed out, and Vixey tripped over the rug as she walking in. Other than that, everything went fine. They said their vows. The reception at the Boar’s Nest was perfect. They danced, they smashed cake into each other’s faces, Daisy caught the bouquet and Enos caught the garter. They spent their honeymoon in Hatchaby County. Roscoe was very nervous.

As Vixey lay next to Roscoe in the Hachaby County Hotel she couldn’t believe it. She was Mrs. Roscoe P. Coltrain. Finally she was happy. She could hear Roscoe breathing next to her. He wasn’t asleep either. She rolled over.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Our future, you know kids and stuff.”
“You wanna have kids?”
“Yep other than being a police officer, being a husband and Daddy was my biggest dreams.”
“I know what you mean. When I became a Mom, it was like I had waited my whole life for it and when I got divorced I felt the same way. It was like I had been set free from a lifetime sentence in jail. But this time around I know this marriage will work. Let’s make a promise. Let’s promise never to go to bed angry.”
“I promise.”
“Prove it. Let’s pretend I’m mad, what are you going to do about it?”
He thought he did a good job of proving it.

March 17. 10:00 pm

Daisy was worried. The boys thought that asking Vixey to go with them to meet their probation officer in Atlanta would be a good idea but in the middle of things, Vixey had fainted. Now, as they waited in the waiting room of Atlanta hospital, they weren’t so sure. They all stood up as the doctor came out of the examining room.
Luke was the first to speak up. “Doc is she going to be okay?”
The Doctor smiled. “She’s going to be fine as soon as she gets something to eat. She told me she had been complaining of nausea?”
“And she said she was dizzy the other day,” Daisy added.
“Well why don’t we join her in the examining room.”
Vixey was sitting on the table looking very pale. Uncle Jessie put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay, is there anything we can do?”
She nodded weekly. “Just make the room stop spinning.” A nurse brought in her file and handed it to the doctor. As he looked at it, a smile crept across his face.
“Well, you are perfectly healthy, for a pregnant woman.”
“Wait a minute, say that again, a pregnant-, you mean I’m-? Doc, on the piece of paper does it actually say that I’m pregnant?” “Yep, right there.” It did indeed say she was pregnant. She calculated in her head. That would mean it was conceived on their honeymoon. So she was a month along. She barely heard her cousins as they congratulated her. “Doc may I have a copy of that to show my husband cause he is not gonna believe it.”
“Of course and I’ll get your release papers too.” She didn’t know how she was gonna tell Roscoe.
Bo looked at her. “How are you gonna tell Roscoe?”
“Well by the time we get back into Hazzard, he’ll probably be at Speed Trap #3 so I guess we’ll have to speed to get his attention.” She said with a grin. “Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure you won’t get a ticket.” As they made their way into Hazzard, sure enough, Roscoe was where Vixey thought her would be.
“Well, ya’ll wish me luck.” She said as they pulled over. Vixey climbed out of the car and went over to Roscoe before he even had a chance to get out. “Get out, we gotta talk.”
‘Uh-oh,’ he thought, ‘what did I do now?’ “What’s on your mind sugar pie?”
She thrust the paper in his face. “This.”
“Honest baby I’ve never seen it before in my life.”
” I know that’s because I just got it a while ago. Read that.”
Mumbling, he read over the medical mumbo-jumbo until he got to a word he recognized. “Pregnant, you?”
She nodded.
“Yee-Haw” He yelled. He bent her over backwards and kissed her.
“We knew we’d get your attention if we went through the speed trap, Daisy giggled.
Roscoe looked at Vixey. “Who else knows?”
“Just us baby, but as soon as we got to the Boar’s Nest, everybody.”
Roscoe smiled. “You know, I do have to meet Boss up there. We can announce it after we’ve told Enos, Lulu and Boss.” Just then Enos sped past them, chasing a speeder. Vixey called him on the CB. “This is Red Fox to Deputy Enos Strait. When you get done with that guy come back here, Roscoe and I want to talk to ya.”
” 10-4 Vixey I’ll be back in a few. I’m gone.” A few minutes later, Enos came back up the road and pulled up beside the General. “What’s up ya’ll?” Vixey and Roscoe had sheepish grins on their faces. They would look at each other and then laugh. Finally Bo couldn’t stand it. “Would you two cut it out and tell him already?” Vixey told him. Enos just stood there a minute and then a huge grin came across his face.
“Well possum on a gum bush, I don’t believe it.” Vixey shook her head and leaned against Roscoe who put his arm around her waist. Then she looked at the boys. “Why don’t one of you two get on the CB and tell Cooter to meet us at the Boar’s Nest and Roscoe you can call Lulu and tell her the same. That way we’ll have all our friends and family there and whoever’s left well everyone there will tell them.”
So the boys and Roscoe did what Vixey asked and they all agreed to meet up at the Boar’s Nest. When they got there, Roscoe went back to the office and told Boss. He was very excited. He called Lulu who was likewise very excited. Finally a nephew she could trust. They left the office and went to the bar. Roscoe shot his gun into the air. A piece of ceiling fell on him but he didn’t notice. Everyone hushed. “I have something to say. Vixey is expecting.” The crowd cheered as he kissed her in front of everyone.

September 15 9:00am

As Vixey parked in front of the Police Station, she remembered when she was pregnant with Lilly and had trouble getting in and out of cars. She was showing now and everyone in Hazzard took great delight in coming up to her on the street and feeling her stomach. Doc Appleby told her on her last appointment that the baby should start kicking, but she knew that already. Lilly had started a month earlier kicking, like Paul could care less. Enos was the only one who hadn’t felt her stomach yet. As she walked in, she noticed that Roscoe wasn’t there. Enos looked up from his desk at her. She gave him a questionable look as she jerked her head in the direction of Roscoe’s office. “Oh Vixey, he’s at Speed Trap #2.”
“Ok that’s good, he better get his sleep while he can.” Enos laughed at her joke, but stifled it as Roscoe walked in looking very irritated.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” As he walked in his office, he slammed the door.
Vixey made a face. “It must be a real big nothing. I’ll go see what it is.” She walked into his office and sat on his desk. “Okay, what happened and don’t tell me nothing.”
“Vixey I’m worried. What kind of kid will we be raising around Boss, I mean I’m always in on his schemes and what kind of father will I be if our baby finds out?”
She smiled and scooted down until she was in his lap. She put he arms around his neck. “You’ll be the kind of father who is trying to make his families life a little bit better. You act like you’re the first person to do something illegal to make a better life.” She sighed, as she was about to tell him something that she never told anyone. “When I lived in New York, sometimes money got tight and one time, I had just been fired for not sleeping with the boss. I couldn’t do anything about it and I couldn’t find a job, but I had my kids to feed. So, I became a stripper. It was just until things picked up and I could pay a few bills. It was illegal then and I worked at an underground club. It got me enough money until I could get a real job.” She sighed. He could tell that she never wanted that to come to light, but she told him to make him feel better. Then she winced and put her hand to her stomach.
“Roscoe feel this.” She took his hand and held it to her stomach. He could feel the baby kicking. Then Boss walked in and saw her in his lap with his hand on her stomach. “Am I interrupting something?”
Vixey smiled. “Boss come over here and say hello to you niece or nephew. It’s kicking its little heart out.”
“You know it kind of makes me sad that Lulu and I never had any children but it does me good to see my brother in law so happy.” He walked out. By the end of the day, all of her family and most of her friends had felt the baby.

11:00 pm

As Roscoe tried to fall asleep that night, he heard Vixey get up. He thought maybe she was just going to the bathroom, but after a little while she didn’t come back and he got up to check on her. She was laying on the sofa reading a book and drinking a glass of pineapple juice. She looked surprised to see him up. “Did I wake you?”
“No, I was up when you got up. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing just can’t sleep. Figured I’d read a book since that’s about the only thing I’m good for anymore.”
He sighed. The doc told him she would have mood swings and he would be better off if he humored her. “No baby, you’re good for a lot of things.” He gave her a mischievous grin.
“You’re just saying that because you’re a man.” She stopped herself. “Baby, I’m sorry, it’s just that these hormones are driving me nuts. You think its bad now, wait till I give birth. You’re gonna hear words from me that you didn’t even know I knew.”
He laughed.
“It’s not funny and when the big pains hit don’t be within reach. You’d be surprised what I would grab.” He just shook his head. “So you can’t sleep? Well I know a perfect way to put you to sleep.” She gave him a devilish grin. “Show me.” He did.

November 10, 9:00 am

Enos thought Vixey looked tired as she walked in that morning. “You okay Vixey?”
“I just feel weird today, Enos. It’s almost like the morning I gave birth to Lilly. I’m feeling good enough to work though. Roscoe in?”
“Yes but he’s on patrol.”

On the other side of town, Paul watched Roscoe drive by. He had thought of a plan to really get Vixey back for what happened last time. He knew she was pregnant but he didn’t know how long. It didn’t matter. Once he put his plan into action, any dreams she had already made would be gone, along with her unborn child. He headed toward the Duke’s farm.

Vixey was nervous. Something wasn’t right and she could sense it. She wished Roscoe would come back. How long did it take for him to drive around town anyway? Enos noticed that she was distracted. “Something wrong?”
“I don’t know I just feel like something’s going to happen.”

Meanwhile, back at the farm something was happening. Paul had Uncle Jessie and Daisy at gunpoint. The boys were off somewhere mending a fence for a neighbor, so Paul knew that he had to act fast. “Okay old man, if you ever want to see this pretty little thing again you’ll tell that slut of an Ex-wife of mine to meet me at Bear Canyon alone.” He grabbed Daisy and ran out the door. He shot out the jeeps and the truck’s tire and sped away. Jessie got on the CB and relayed the message to Vixey, and the boys. Vixey called Roscoe and told him the story. They all agreed to meet at Cooter’s. Vixey was leaning against Roscoe when the boys got there. Luke looked at her and saw that she didn’t feel good.
“Vixey what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, let’s just concentrate on getting Daisy back unharmed.”
Roscoe looked at her. “Vixey I am not going to let you confront him alone, especially in your condition.”
She smiled weakly. “Don’t worry about us,” she said as she patted her extended stomach, “We’ll be fine, but he might hurt Daisy. I have to go.”


She got into her car and sped off toward Bear Canton. When she got there, she saw Paul holding Daisy at gunpoint. “Okay, Paul I’m here, you can let her go.’ He noticed how pregnant she was. “Well, well look at you. Carrying the idiot’s offspring. You’re braver that I thought.” He threw Daisy to one side as he walked toward Vixey.
“Run Daisy,” Vixey screamed as she ran the other way into the woods. Daisy ran toward Vixey’s car and saw Roscoe and the boys pulling up.
“You gotta go help Vixey, Paul’s chasing her through the woods and he’s got a gun!” Uncle Jessie held her as Roscoe and the boys went up the hill towards the woods.
Vixey was hiding in a bush, where she hoped she be safe. Then, out of nowhere her water broke. “Oh god, not now.” Carefully, she peeked out of the bush and saw Paul coming her way. She quickly ducked down again as he passed by. She hoped he didn’t see her and he made no motions that he did. He walked further and further in the woods until she could no longer see him. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“GOTCHA!” Paul yelled. She screamed and kicked him in the groin and ran in the direction of her car. She ran smack into Bo and screamed again. “Whoa, hold on now. It’s just me. Why are you all wet?”
“My water broke; I’m going into labor. Is Daisy okay?”
“She’s fine but we got to get you somewhere safe. Can you hold it til we can get to the hospital?”
” I don’t know but I’ll try.” She grabbed her stomach as a pain seared through her body. “I don’t think I can make it.” He brought her back to Uncle Jessie and Daisy and then went after Paul. He saw Roscoe on the way up and told him where Vixey was. He immediately ran to her side.
“Jessie, we got to get her somewhere safe so she can have this baby. There’s an abandon barn not too far from here.”
Vixey sat up. “Roscoe Purvis Coltrain I am NOT having our child in a barn.” He knew she meant it. She never used his whole name unless she was really steamed.
Jessie put his hand on her shoulder. “Vixey can you make it to the farm?”
“I think so,” she said between pains. “Roscoe, I want you with me.” He glanced toward the woods. “Call Enos and tell him to get over here. They can handle it.” He nodded and helped her into the car. Jessie drove Roscoe’s patrol car, while he drove Vixey’s caddy. Daisy rode with Vixey and tried to get her to remember her Lamaze classes they had attended in Atlanta. Roscoe called Enos on the CB and told him to get his scrawny tail up here.

Back in the woods, Paul was still looking for Vixey, but who he found was Luke. “Hold it right there plowboy, where’s Vixey?” “Where you won’t get her. Now put down your gun and go to jail quietly.”
“Yeah, right, like I’m that stupid. I want Vixey and I want her now!” He pointed his gun at Luke and started to pull the trigger. Then Bo jumped out of a tree above him and tackled him to the ground. Enos arrived just in time to put the handcuffs on him and take him to jail. Bo rode with him to make sure that Paul wouldn’t give him any trouble.


Back at the farm; Roscoe had long since fled the room after Vixey had threatened to cut off anything she could grab and succeeded in pulling out a handful of chest hair when he got too close. Daisy was holding her hand and wiping her forehead with a wet rag. Bo and Luke came in an hour later after the State Police had taken Paul away and gotten both their statements. An officer had followed then to get Vixey’s, Roscoe’s and Daisy’s statements as well, but left quickly when they heard that she was giving birth.


The door to the bedroom opened and Uncle Jessie came out. “Congratulations Roscoe, it’s a boy.” Roscoe felt like he was going to explode with happiness as he walked into the room and saw Vixey holding his son. Daisy hugged him and left the room. He sat on the bed and kissed his wife, then his son.
“Hey, well that was fun.”
“Any ideas on a name?”
“How about Patrick? Shawn Patrick Coltrain?”
“Sounds great, named for anyone in particular?”
“My grandpa. He was Irish.” Then the rest of the Family walked in. Vixey smiled as Roscoe held him. “Come meet our son, Shawn Patrick Coltrain.”
“What are you going to call him,” Bo asked. “Patrick,” they both said then laughed.
On their way to the hospital, Roscoe looked at his family and smiled. His dream had finally come true.

Well don’t that beat all? I wonder how this kid is gonna turn out? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Fourth of July

by: Vixey

The Fourth of July brings friends together.
It was the day before The Fourth of July and Roscoe as usual was confused about Vixey. It had been eight months since she had arrived in Hazzard and she was zipping around the office like a bee gathering honey. She was getting lots of phone calls and getting Boss madder with each one. Let’s just see what happens.
Vixey was in her own little world thinking about this weekend and all the things she had to do before the fourth. Not noticing Boss’s mood, she kept answering phones and writing things down in a little book. Finally he couldn’t stand it. Turning to Roscoe, he blustered, “Roscoe you better find out what’s going on with that woman of yours.”
“I know exactly what you mean Boss, she’s been on a cleaning spree for weeks now and its having an effect on our social life.” He walked over to Vixey’s desk where she was going through papers and humming one of her songs. He cleared his throat several times before she looked up.
“Boss and I both want to know what’s been going on with you these past weeks.”
She smiled, shoot. With all the goings on I forgot to tell ya’ll about the fourth.”
She stood up. “Roscoe, Enos, Boss, I want to invite ya’ll to my Fourth of July party. Lulu’s invited too of course. There’s going to be food, music, and lots of people. I’m expecting anywhere from 50 to 200 people this year. That is of course if they all show up.”
“50 to 200! They’re aren’t that many people in Hazzard,” Enos exclaimed.
Roscoe could see that Vixey was greatly amused. “Who all’s coming?”
“Most of them are friends and family. My cousins of course, ya’ll hopefully, my brothers and their wives, my sister and her flavor of the month, my parents, and my grandma Fox.”
The phone rang and Vixey went to answer it. “Hazzard County Sheriff’s Office.” By the look on face, it was clear she recognized the voice. “Hey there, so you coming this year or am I gonna have to drag your skinny butt down here?” She laughed at the answer. “Great bring him too. You know what my mom always says, ‘the more the merrier’. “Umm I don’t know what do you want to bring? Well Dad’s bringing the meat, you know hot dogs and burgers. I’m cooking the burgers, Quint’s cooking the hot dogs and making his famous Chili, Mom’s bringing green beans, my cousin Daisy is making potato salad, I’m making my famous caramel cake. Hmm, why don’t you bring your squash casserole? But make sure it’s in the big dish. I’m expecting our usual crowd this year. Great, oh but no alcohol this year. Mary Jo’s coming and you know how she is when she gets even one beer in her. Yeah, right, we are having our usual sleep over. I don’t know. I guess for the ones that are married, the guys can stay in my guest rooms. Ok, can’t wait to see you. Yeah, ok girl, see you this weekend. Bye.”
She hung up the phone. “That was my friend Jade. We went to high school together. We were so bad then.” She sighed, remembering her school days. She looked at Roscoe; “ We do get the fourth off, right?”
“Yeah, it’s the law.”
“I’m going to have to ask Boss about getting the fifth of July off too. If it’s gonna be like it normally is, I’m going to be too tired to work.”
Roscoe smiled, “so that’s why you’ve been acting like you have been.”
“Yeah, oh gosh, I’ve been so busy I’ve neglected us haven’t I?”
“Well,” he blushed, “yeah, but it doesn’t bother me.”
“The hell it doesn’t, I can see it on your face right now. Roscoe Purvis Coltrain don’t you lie to me!”
In the back he could hear Enos snicker. He gave him a sharp look that made Enos hush.
Vixey could see him getting madder and madder with each passing second. She had had enough. With a violent shove, she pushed Roscoe back into his chair, sat on his lap and passionately kissed him. She kissed him hard enough to lean his chair all the way back. She broke the kiss when the phone rang. She jumped up and answered it. “Hazzard County-,” she stopped, “well geeze don’t even let me finish. Who are you calling a beanpole? I’m gonna beanpole you if you don’t show up this weekend. That’s my baby brother. So Richard is Danielle coming too? Great, you’re kidding. Well it looks like you Beat Mark at it.” She laughed. “Ok bro, see ya this weekend. Uh-huh love you too, bye. Guess what? I’m gonna be and aunt.”
Roscoe was still recovering form the kiss. Enos grinned, “that’s great Vixey. All Roscoe could do was give her a thumbs up. She laughed. She liked having that effect on people.
As quitting time rolled around, Vixey had had all of her guests call with their answer. Well, except for Justin. Justin McCloud lived in the small town of Frog’s Mouth, Kentucky. She hadn’t heard from him since she moved to Hazzard, eight months ago. He had called the night before she left, wishing her good luck and promising to keep in touch. She figured something was wrong. Her godson Charley, who was a good friend of Justin’s, hadn’t heard from him either. She was worried. She got Maybel on the phone. “Maybel, this is Vixey over at the sheriff’s office. Could you give me the operator in Frog’s Mouth, Kentucky? Thanks.” It took awhile to connect and Roscoe could see she was very nervous. Finally she connected. This is Vixey Fox in Hazzard, Georgia. Could you connect me to Justin McCloud? Yes, he lives on Blue bay road at the old Murphy place. Thanks.” She saw Roscoe looking at her again. She winked at him. She heard Justin come on the line. “Hey stranger, I’m glad to hear that you’re still alive. Well you promised to keep in touch and I though you’d dropped off the face of the earth. Very funny, everyone’s a comedian today. So are you gonna make it? To what? To my party this weekend, don’t tell me you forgot? Sometimes I swear you’re going senile on me. Ok well can’t wait to see you. Same time. Yeah fudge brownie pie. With you, 140 people. Ok see you this weekend. Bye.”
Enos gasped. “140 people?”
She nodded, yep, 15 are family, ya’ll and Cooter make 20 and the rest are friends. 55 of those are girls.15 of those girls are spending the night with me.5 of the 15 are married so their husbands are staying in the guest rooms. The sixty five others are men that are good friends.” Roscoe looked jealous. “You have more male friends that female friends?”
She nodded, “yes, I don’t know why I prefer men as friends, I just do. I guess because women tend to get over emotional at the drop of a hat and men keep their cool in most situations. Hey it’s five o’clock, time to go home. I’ve got a million things to do before tomorrow. See ya’ll there. She grabbed her purse, locked her drawer, kissed Roscoe, and ran to her car. As they heard her peel away, Roscoe turned to Enos. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure Sheriff, what about?”
“It’s Vixey. We’ve been seeing each other for eight months and I feel so different. I don’t know what I should do.”
“Well sheriff, if it were me and Vixey were Daisy I’d be happier that a hog in mud. It’s obvious that you love her. I’d show her somehow.”
“You’re right. I’ve been doing some serious thinking about us and I need to make decision. Thanks Enos.” He put on his hat, punched out and left.
Meanwhile back at her farm, Vixey was busy getting the house ready for her party. She was still at it at midnight, when Roscoe drove by. Debating whether to stop, he finally pulled in her driveway. Hearing a car pull up, she grabbed an old, dented baseball bat. It was the same one she had used on Paul. On time when he made a run her when she was pregnant with Lilly. She heard a knock on the door. “Who-who is it?”
“ It’s your ever-loving sheriff,” he chuckled. She unlocked to door and cracked it just a bit and peered out. Seeing his handsome face, she opened the door. Looking at the bat, he smiled. “Expecting someone?”
Putting the bat down, she offered him a seat. “Well at midnight, you never know.”
“That reminds me,” he said grinning, “ I owe you something. He took her in his arms and put that kiss she had given him earlier to shame. When they were finished, he could see that she was the one who was doing the blushing. Then she gave him a confused look. “What in the world are you doing out this time of night?”
“About what?”
“Stuff. Mostly us.”
She raised her eyebrow, “oh really and what pray tell is my sexy sheriff thinking?”
“Nothing too naughty but mostly how happy I am.”
She giggled, and then yawned. “ As much as I’d love for you to spend the night, I’m sure Momma Coltrain would kill us both.”
He nodded, “Oh yeah. I guess I’d better go to sleep.”
“Me too.”
He got up, kissed her again, and left. She closed the door behind him. He heard the lock click as he stepped off the porch. They both mad their way to bed.
The next day looked promising as people started to arrive. Mom and dad were the first to arrive. Then Mark and Rachel, Dixie and Peter, Uncle Max and Aunt Louise, Grammy Fox and finally Richard followed by a very pregnant Danielle. As the family hugged hello and caught up, Vixey put the food in the oven to keep warm. An hour later with the rest of the guests accounted for, except for Justin, and the Dukes, and Cooter arriving and meeting everyone, Roscoe pulled up. Vixey was in the kitchen, baking her cake. As she was pulling the pan out of the oven, the cake shifted and she burned her hand. “Damn!”
She quickly put it under the faucet. Roscoe stepped forward and kissed her so that she forgot the burn. Just then, her mom and Dixie walked in. Vixey opened her eyes and then nudged Roscoe. “Umm Mom, sis, I didn’t see you come in!” Her sister laughed.
“Obviously. So I take it that this is your cop boyfriend we’re heard so much about.”
Roscoe grinned, “ been talking about me have you?”
She smiled and nodded. Wiping the smeared lipstick off of his face, she introduced them.
Her father walked in. Looking at Simon, he realized how Vixey got to be so tall. Lilly ran in the kitchen. “Nana, Poppy! Simon picked up the 5 year old and gave her a wet kiss on her cheek. “EEEW Poppy! She squirmed out of Simon’s arms and ran to Dixie, who scooped her up and took her to see Danielle’s swollen belly. Vixey smiled as she heard Lilly ask all kinds of questions. Just then, Roscoe saw a tall Blonde haired teenager walk through the door. Vixey didn’t see him. He came up behind Vixey. “Anybody missing a son?” Vixey jumped, and turned around. Her face lit up as the young mad hugged her and picked her up. “Matthew put me down,” she said laughing. He spun her around before putting her down. She saw Roscoe’s confused look. “Oh gosh, Matthew, this is my boyfriend Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrain. Roscoe, this is Matthew Rogers, my son.” Roscoe’s jaw dropped, the boy couldn’t be less that 15 or 16. “I was 13 when I was raped at a school dance. Uncle Max and Aunt Louise didn’t want me to keep him but Mom and Dad didn’t want one of our blood being raised by strangers, so kept him.”
“Wait just a purple pea-picking minute,” he started, “you were 13?”
She nodded. “That means he’s 20”
Just then Justin showed up. Vixey rushed out to greet him. He noticed she was upset. She told him the whole story. As he hugged her, she could see the scars that fire had inflicted on him. That combined with his graying hair and a few more wrinkles made him look a lot older that he actually was. She introduced him to her cousins and Roscoe. Then made her way the makeshift platform that Bo and Luke had built for her. She picked up the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to start off by welcoming you to 23 annual Fox Family Fourth of July Party. Ok we’ll start with announcements. First of all, my sister-in-law, Danielle, ate a watermelon whole.” The crowd laughed. “Just kidding, she’s 6 months pregnant. Second of all this year’s turn out is better than last year’s. Last year we had 30 people, this year, we have 146. That includes my son, Matthew who has been stuck in a hole for the past 3 years, at college. Any other announcements?”
Roscoe stepped up. Looking surprised, Vixey handed him the mike.
I would like to ask you, Vixey Roxanna Fox, in front of all your friends and family.” He dropped to one knee. “Will you marry me?”
Vixey put her hand over her mouth in shock. He placed a blue topaz ring on her finger.
She smiled down at him and in a soft voice said, “of course I will.”
As they kissed, the crowd erupted into cheers, whistles and clapping. They all sat down to a scrumptious banquet with hot dogs, hamburgers, barbequed ribs, chili, potato salad, corn on the cob, green beans, squash casserole, fudge brownie pie and caramel cake. As the last of the food was eaten or out away, the last dish wash washed and the last guest that wasn’t staying the night left, Vixey gazed at her engagement ring and then at Roscoe. Then she looked at Roscoe’s cute butt. He caught her looking and grinned. As the girls that were staying found their places and laid out their sleeping bags, Vixey and Roscoe walked onto the porch. He sighed. “When we get married, are you gonna invite all those people?”
“I don’t know, most of them are very close friends and I would hate to leave them out. Bit if I had to I would choose.”
“ I won’t make you choose. She kissed him, shooed him to his car, closed and locked the door, turned off the lights and went to sleep.
Wowie folks, Vixey sure does know how to throw a party. Looks like we’re gonna have a wedding soon. Keep your fingers crossed.