It was a typical day in Hazzard County. The birds were singin’ and spring was in the air. Who’s that tearing up the road over yonder? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Vixey Fox tried to read the road map and drive at the same time. It had been a long trip from Tennessee and she was ready to find what she had come for. Finally she saw the road she was looking for that would hopefully lead her to her unfamiliar family. As she drove down the road, she noticed the landscape and thought to herself that she wouldn’t mind settling down here that is of course if she could find her kin. As she turned into the driveway of the quaint farm she noticed to name on the fence that said Duke. She wondered what they would be like and if they knew who she was. As she put her pink Cadillac into park an old man with an orange hunting cap and denim overalls stepped out of the farmhouse.
Uncle Jessie looked at the young woman for a second and then finally said, “Howdy, I’m Jessie Duke what can I do for ya?”
Vixey looked at him and said, “Well Mister Duke my name is Vixey Fox and I don’t know if you’ll know what I’m talking about but I’ been doing some research into my family tree and it seems that were related. My father was Simon Fox and my mother was Lacey Midland. My father’s father was Jacob Rutland and his wife was Elisabeth Duke, your sister. I’m your niece. I don’t know much about my grandmother’s past with your father but I know that the marriage was not approved of and if you want me to leave I understand, but I would like a chance to get to know you and my cousins.”
“Leave?” said Jessie,” Why honey you’re family and a Duke never turns away family. Come on in, your other cousins are inside, well all except for Daisy. She works at The Boar’s Nest.”
“I saw the sign when I came into town”, said Vixey as she walked into the farmhouse. As she walked in two young men, a blond and a dark haired man stood up. The blonde was the first to speak. “Who’s this Uncle Jessie?”
“Well”, Uncle Jessie said, “This is your Uncle Jacob and Aunt Elisabeth’s grandchild Vixey Fox. Vixey this is Bo and Luke.”
“You mean she’s our cousin,” Bo asked.
“I sure am,”Vixey said, “and boy am I ever glad to finally get here.”
“Where are you from Vixey?” asked Luke.
“Well originally I’m from Possum Ridge, Tennessee but I just came from New York. It will be a nice change to move to such a quiet town as Hazzard. Although from the looks of your sheriff’s department I doubt it stays quiet,” Vixey teased.
“You sure are right about that,” Bo said, “Roscoe and Enos keep us pretty busy around here but how did you know?”
“Well”, Vixey started, “ I passed a patrol car on Hog Canyon Road doing about 55 and there was one of your officers asleep at the wheel. He was kinda cute though.”
“Hog Canyon? Well then it had to be Roscoe, he’s always at Hog Canyon this time of morning,” Bo said, “but I wouldn’t call him cute.”
“Well let’s just say I have a strange taste in men and I think that I’d like to meet this Roscoe”, Vixey said thoughtfully.
“Well first you have to meet Daisy”, said Luke. So the four headed off to the Boar’s Nest to see Daisy.
Meanwhile at the sheriff’s office Boss and Roscoe, back from patrol, were discussing their latest scheme to make money and frame the Dukes.
“So Boss, about the old Adam’s farm,” Roscoe was saying,” What am I supposed to do with it?”
Boss scowled and looked at Roscoe. “Well knucklehead if you can find some sucker who will take that ramshackle of a house that I will give them the mortgage and you a 5% raise on my profits.”
“Oh goody goody gumdrops. I’ll find somebody who’ll take it off my hands. But speaking of your profits, what kind of plan do you have?” inquired Roscoe.
“Bugs,” Boss said.
“Bugs. Well how do you plan to make anything on that?”
“Bugs are a farmer’s biggest enemy. We’ll make the farmers think they’re infested with bugs and then they’ll pay Hogg’s Exterminating Service to get rid of them. All I need now is some fake bugs. Well I can’t think on an empty stomach, let’s go to the Boar’s Nest.”
Back at the Boar’s Nest the boys and Vixey are just walking in looking for Daisy.
“This is great,” Vixey said, “I love the bar scene!”
“There’s Daisy at the bar,” Luke said, “I’ll get her.” As they watched Luke make his way toward the bar Vixey thought about how great it would be to have another female around to share stuff with as her own sister was never around. Luke told Daisy who the woman was that was with them and how she thought Roscoe was cute.
“You’re kidding!” gasped Daisy, “Roscoe, cute?”
“That’s what we said but she seems to be serious,” said Luke.
Vixey looked up at Daisy. “Hi you must be Daisy, the boys have talked about nothing but you on the way over here,” said Vixey. “I love those shorts. Is that the style around here because if it is I’ll have to cut the rest of my shorts like that? A few pairs already are.”
“Let’s go into the back, I have a pair right now you can wear,” said Daisy. 10 minutes later, Daisy looked at her new cousin in a purple halter-top and short jean cut-offs.
“Wow”, Bo whistled, “now you really fit in.” Just then who should walk in but Boss and Roscoe. “Well here’s your chance Vixey, that there is Boss Hogg, county commissioner,” said Bo.
“And Roscoe tagging along as usual”, continued Luke.
“Come on Vixey, let’s go see them,” said Daisy. As they walked to the office door, Vixey found herself for the first time feeling nervous. Daisy knocked on the door and herd Boss tell them to come in. Boss was sitting at his desk discussing some thing with Roscoe but stopped when the ladies walked in.
“Boss, Roscoe”, said Daisy, “This is my cousin Vixey Fox from Tennessee.” Vixey shook both their hands as she said, “Hazzard is a beautiful place Mr. Hogg and I am pleased to meet both of you.”
“Just call me Boss, everyone does”, he said.
“And I’m Roscoe P. Coltrain maim, sheriff of Hazzard County,” said Roscoe slightly blushing. He thought she was flirting with him. And he’s right ain’t he folks?
“So I guess you’re the one I see about a farm then?” Vixey said to Boss.
“Well actually,” said Roscoe, “I think I can help you with that, but it’s a little run down.”
“I don’t mind at all I love fixing up things and if any of ya’ll need anything fixed let me know,” said Vixey.
“So you’re staying then?” said Roscoe.
“I guess I am,” said Vixey. As Vixey, Daisy and Roscoe made their way out of the office, Vixey noticed that Roscoe and Daisy stayed behind her and talked. Every now and then they would look at her. She wondered what they could be talking about as she made her way back to the rest of her family.
Roscoe said to Daisy, “ I think you cousin likes me and I like her too.”
“I know she does Roscoe, as a matter of fact she passed you at speed trap # 1 and thought you were cute. I bet she’d go with you on the hayride tomorrow night if you asked her,” said Daisy.
“Aww I don’t know if a pretty young thing like her would go out with an old thing like me. I mean what is she 20, 25?” fretted Roscoe.
“Try 32 and I know she would go out if you asked her,” assured Daisy. “As a matter of fact why don’t you join us and we’ll ask her about herself. I mean I know nothing about her and I’m the boys don’t either.”
“Alright Daisy,” said Roscoe, “I’ll sit down until Boss yells at me again.” So the boys and Daisy asked her about her past as Vixey told them about her abusive ex-husband Paul and there 8 year old daughter Lily that Paul wanted nothing to do with. As she told them of her adventures and sad childhood involving her distant relationship with her sister, her travels in New York and her aspiring county singing career, Roscoe found himself falling in love as Vixey was with him. Meanwhile Boss was putting his bug plan in action by paying off a crooked farmer into spreading to rumor around about destructive bugs.
“Now remember Silas”, Boss said, “I want the whole town to hear of your “problem” and then in a few days tell them about my exterminating service and how good it was.”
“Ok Boss,” Silas said, thinking of all the money he would make.
“And now with the Adams property taken care of all my loose ends are tied up,” said Boss thinking to himself.
The next day, Vixey and her cousins made their way into town to the sheriff’s office to get the deed to the Adam’s place so Vixey would have somewhere to stay.
“Morning Enos,”said Luke.
“Morning Luke and this must be Vixey, Roscoe told me all about you. I’ m deputy Enos Strait,” said Enos.
“Nice to meet you Enos, is Roscoe around?” asked Vixey. “Yes maim, he’s in his office,” said Enos.
“Thanks I’ll go see him if he’s not too busy,” said Vixey. As she made her way to Roscoe’s office she found herself having that nervous feeling she had felt at The Boar’s Nest. She knocked on the door. “Come in,” she heard Roscoe say. She walked in and said in as sexy a voice that could, “Hey there how are ya?”
As Roscoe stared at her tight halter top filled in by her well endowed chest and her long legs exposed by her short shorts he managed to stammer out a “hi.” Vixey smiled and sat down on his desktop. Crossing her legs she said, “I came to get the deed and to say hi.”
Roscoe said,” I’m glad you stopped in. there is something I wanted to ask you last night and didn’t get to.”
Waiting in anticipation she said, “ Well go ahead, I don’t bite unless you ask me.”
“Jit Jit”, Roscoe gasped.
Vixey laughed,” that’s cute, I like it.”
Roscoe said,” well I like your laugh to. It’s kinda adorable.”
“Anyway, “ Roscoe continued,” I know you just got into town and all but well err.. Would you like to go with me on a hayride tonight? I know its short notice but..”
“I’d love to,” Vixey interrupted. As they walked out of Roscoe’s office, they were both grinning ear to ear and the Dukes and Enos wondered what they were grinning about.
“Here’s the deed Vixey,” said Roscoe as he handed her the piece of paper. “I’m sorry it’s in such bad shape but that’s the reason you got it for free,” Roscoe said frowning.
“Don’t worry about it sugar I’m sure it will do just fine,” smiled Vixey.
“And you can stay with us until its inhabitable,” said Uncle Jessie.
“Thanks Uncle Jessie, I will as long as I’m not a burden,” smiled Vixey.
“Well if you are,” teases Roscoe, “you can always stay with me and momma.”
Meanwhile, at The Boar’s Nest, Boss was madder that a wet hen. His associate had skipped town with Boss’s money but for giving the old farm to Vixey, Roscoe got a 5% raise. For once ole JD Hogg had kept his promise. And later that night Vixey kept hers to Roscoe. They went on their date, had a great time, promised to date every other day and on Roscoe’s day off and Boss gave Vixey a job as a secretary at the sheriff’s office. And she was happy, she had finally found her family, found a house and met a cute feller to keep her company. So lets just see how things work out. But that’s for another day.