by: Essy Jane
The drag race was ready to commence. Jesse had large chains on his tires to
keep him from slipping. With one week of practice, he was ready to drive on
the ice. Jose didn’t even want to get in the car in case Jesse got any
ideas. He loved to jump things and in this weather he would probably kill
LB got behind the wheel and looked at Jessie sitting behind the wheel of his
other prized car. Jesse crushed his two lips together. He was shivering. “It
ain’t that much different from the weather you were in,” LB laughed.
“Well you try going from warm to hello its cold!” Jesse grumbled. Jose had
“I’ve been there. Mexico to New York, try that,” Jose retorted.
“Let’s stop griping and get some racing done.” Jesse revs up his engine and
smiles. They were off around the mountains and through the snowy terrain.
Jesse was working as hard as he could not to get stuck in the black ice
patches. The more he tried the more he did it. LB was laughing as Jesse was
eating his flying snow. Quick turns by both were seen. Jesse and LB’s eyes
were glued on their destination. They wanted to win.
Jesse decided that the only way to win was to fly. He just hoped that this
baby had the shocks for it. Jesse took fate into his own hands and somehow
managed to use a dip in the snow bank to fly. He let out a big Yahoo and
smashed down onto the ground with a thundering crash. Jesse was fine and as
was the car.
LB’s grin exceeded past his face. He knew he was going to win this one as he
made a quick U turn. Jesse did the same following LB as best he could on
little speed. That was the key to not blowing up. Jesse didn’t care anymore,
he had to catch up. He was doing great too that is until he found that his
breaks were out. Jesse couldn’t stop and ended up crashing into a rocky
cliff. Jose went to his aid while LB didn’t notice. He finished the race and
looked back seeing Jesse in the car. LB got back into the car and drove over
to where Jesse was.
“You okay kid?” LB asked.
“Yeah, I could do it again if you would like,” Jesse replied.
“I think you had enough for one day. You did well out there young man. It’s
a shame that you didn’t win. You did your best though and that’s what
“I really do want to do it again.”
“Too bad Jesse, we’re going home and that’s the last word. Holy hot hanging
sausages, that was amazing driving!” LB knocked Jesse in the back of the
head and smiled at him. Jesse deserved some recognition. After all, he did
go against a very experienced driver.
“You know, I think it’s time we go home. I mean our parents will be worrying
their heads off about us,” Jose commented. Jesse knew that it was time too.
Now with the end of the race and the start of a new one they would travel
back to Hazzard.
Jesse was all packed up and ready to go home. It was a long way to Georgia.
Jose took out the maps and looked through them all. “Jess, come here,” Jose
said. Jesse walked over to his cousin and looked at the maps.
“Well we’re going to have to go through quite a few places to get home. I
think the best way to go is down. At least then we’ll get some warm weather.
We will head towards New Mexico and then from there we’ll go to Georgia,”
“This will take us days! Why couldn’t we just fly out of here?”
“Well smart guy we want to keep those boys out of harms way. So that’s the
only way to do it like it or not; I can’t change what is going on.”
“Well you know what? This stinks Jesse. I don’t want to do this anymore. I
want to get back to Hazzard.”
“So do I, I miss feeding the animals and I am very worried about my dad.”
“Bo’s okay, my dad on the other hand is going insane right this minute. He’s
nuts when he worries. Dad thinks about all sorts of things. He worries when
they don’t lock the doors.”
“Okay, we will travel from Laurel to the great state of Wyoming, without any
potty breaks. We’ll take turns driving and get there in no time. That way
you won’t have to worry so much about Luke. I know how much a worrier he is
too you know.” Jose smiled.
“Let’s get moving Jesse.” The boys hugged LB and thanked him for all the
work he had done. Everything was ready to go. The gas in the tank was filled
to the heap with Gas. They began to get on their way.
“So where are we going Jesse?” Jose asked as they kept on driving. Jesse
pointed to where the maps were.
“We got to get back but why not have some fun while on the way?” Jesse
replied. He knew that Jose would like that answer. Jose looked at the map
leading out of Montana to Wyoming. They were really going to do a road trip.
“Are we going to sleep anywhere?”
“Yeah, we’re going to sleep in the car. I don’t want to waste our money. You
know that credit card in your pocket?”
“Yeah I remember Bo giving it to me. I wondered why he would do it too.”
“It’s got money on it too, just not as much as mine. Dad would never let us
go without cash. That’s how he knows we’re still alive. He’ll get a bill.”
“Won’t he beat us senseless for using so much money?”
“Why do you think I am doing my best on keeping the cost of things down? I
don’t want to use too much otherwise he won’t trust me with money again.”
Jose looked at the long stretch of road. Jesse turned left and looked at
this girl who was trying to hitch hike. Jesse was about to pull off when
Jose stopped them.
“What are you crazy? Rule number one, never pick up hitchhikers. You could
get in big trouble for that.” Jesse rolled his eyes. He didn’t believe his
cousin. That girl looked like she needed help. But Jose knew otherwise. She
could be a person who would rob people of all their money.
Meanwhile at the Duke farm…
Luke and Bo were feeding the animals. It was something Bo was sure would
help his cousin. He wanted to get him feeling good again. Jose was an
amazing person and even though Bo didn’t know him as long as Luke did he had
a special love for the teenager. Jose was just as amazing as any kid Bo had
ever come across as was Jesse. Those two together made up a unit. “Are you
feeling any better cousin?” Bo asked. Luke stared at Bo and wondered why he
would ask such foolish questions.
“You know Bo, I was sure I was over Hazzard County but being here brings
back so many memories. You know, I am glad my son got to go here and
experience what I did,” Luke replied. He wasn’t about to let his cousin in
on his feelings right now. Luke knew that by sulking he would just feel
Nancy-Lou came out of the house and looked at her husband. She was happy
that he was doing better today. Without Jesse, Bo was just as sad as Luke
but knew that his son was coming home. In Nancy’s hands were two tall cool
glasses of lemonade. “I thought y’all might be thirsty,” Nancy commented as
she handed each guy a glass.
“Thanks Nancy-Lou, you’re amazing,” Luke replied.
“I hope it tastes that good.”
Back on the road, seven hours later…
Jesse was not tired at all from driving he was listening to blasting country
music. This though was annoying the heck out of Jose. He didn’t want to even
listen to the sound of country music. No one really hated country music as
much as Jose. Jesse was determined to change his mind on the subject. But
his cousin was hard hearted in a lot of ways. Jose wasn’t pulled into a
crowd easily. Although at the same time he would do anything to be accepted.
Jose couldn’t sleep anymore. He got up and stretched. Jose looked around at
the houses and many people walking along the streets. Jose wondered if they
were ever going to get home. He wanted to just embrace his father and show
him that he was okay. “Where are we Jesse?” Jose asked.
“We’re in Cheyenne. Are you hungry Jose Duke? We could eat some of the food
right now or save it for later. It’s up to you,” Jesse replied.
“We could have a sandwich now I suppose. LB makes a mean peanut butter and
jam on white bread.” Jose reached for the basket of food and pulled out two
sandwiches and un-wrapped the plastic wrap. He handed one to his cousin and
took a bite out of the other one.
They kept driving right along looking at all the sights as they went. The
long stretch of highway was amazing. Jose wondered if it was ever going to
end. He wanted to get back into the General Lee. He didn’t like Neons at
all. They were one of the worse built cars as far as he was concerned.
There were all sorts of signs directing them to the next town. It wouldn’t
take them long to get there at all. Trinidad would be the next bathroom stop
for the two boys. They had to keep driving if they were ever going to get
home. Jose opened up the window and stuck his head out. “What are you
doing?” Jesse asked.
“I am hot!” Jose barked back.
“Well I could turn the air conditioning on if you feel that hot.”
“That thing makes me too cold. There’s nothing like cool air on the face.”
“Don’t blame me if you swallow a bug.” Jose didn’t care as long as he felt
better. The day passed on easily and slowly. Jesse was kicking back just
listening his country music full blast. He loved every single oldie out
there. Jose brought his head back into the window as he saw a truck in the
other lane coming along.
“What was Jo like when she was a kid?”
“What’s with this fascination with Jo all of a sudden?”
“I don’t know I want to get to know the person behind Jo Anna. I kind of
want to make peace with her when I get home. This fighting has gone on long
enough. Well there’s one last fight we have to win. I think we are going to
now with the stuff we learned at Joan’s restaurant.”
“Yeah, we’re going to show her that Duke Boys can cook. So what do you want
to know about my sister?”
Jose thought for a minute. He thought about how his childhood was. It wasn’t
the best in the world. Luke and Maria weren’t the richest people in the
world but they got by just fine. Maria gave vocal lessons when Luke went to
work. It got them more money.
Luke tried his best to give his son a good life. It was hard considering
Jose did the opposite of everything Luke said by the age of 10. The young
man discovered himself at a young age and found that he could do things with
other people that made him feel good. Drinking became a part of his life
like it had been for Coy and Vance. He started drinking at 14 years of age.
Jose skipped a lot of school and barely made the grades. But those days were
over now. Jose knew that if he did it again this time he would be tried as
an adult instead of a youth.
“Earth to Jose Duke, can you hear us Jose?” Jesse said as he snapped his
fingers. Jose came out of his daze and looked at his cousin. He almost
totally forgot he was talking about.
“Sorry Jesse, I guess I was thinking too much. I guess when you have a past
you do that,” Jose replied.
“What do you mean?”
“I know how Coy and Vance felt. They couldn’t seem to do anything right for
anyone so they turned to something to make them numb, alcohol.”
“I wonder if Daisy has forgiven them yet. It’s not fair to keep going at it.
I mean if I did that to you how far would we be right now?”
“If it wasn’t for you I would’ve been shot dead somewhere. You are amazing
Jesse. I hope that you never change.”
“Thanks, I hope you don’t change right now either. This male bonding thing
is great. You know what if I ever get home I am going to tell everyone how
great these trips are and recommend it to all of my friends.” Jose laughed.
They kept on driving onward. There was nothing that would stop them now.
Jose and Jesse were the original odd couple when it came to friends.
Together they were stronger than any force. However apart they were almost
like nothing. Though they did have their good points both got into big
“So, what’s next on the list of things to do?”
“Teach you how to play basketball.”
“I know how to play basketball. You don’t have to teach me anything. That
was the one thing I did do with my dad.”
“Well obviously he’s rusty or you’re not good at learning new tricks.”
“I got on the basketball team.”
“That you did, I am only teasing.”
Back at the farm…
Luke made that jump once more as Sheriff Cletus was chasing after them. “You
know Luke, you’re handling him way better,” Bo commented. Luke smiled as he
took another piece of the long winding dirt road.
“You were right, this does make me feel better,” Luke replied. There was
Hazzard pond again. Luke had to jump it. Up the General went. It seemed like
he was climbing into space that’s how high he was jumping. The General Lee
really knew what it was doing. Cletus on the other hand was having problems
again with the old patrol car. Once again the poor piece of junk splashed
into the water.
In Boss Rosco’s office, an hour later…
Cletus was standing there dripping on the floor while Rosco was giving him
one of his usual lectures. “You know what? I am sick and tired of all of
these pond exper-expid adventures. You cost me a fortune in car repairs!”
Boss Rosco complained.
“Those dang patrol cars are so old. Don’t you think that we should get new
ones? Like maybe something like the General?” Cletus asked.
“You pea brain! Jit-jit oooh you are one dumb fella. I ain’t letting you get
your hands on something like that. I’m going to get you boys a good car. The
choice of car is a 2002 Hyundai Elantra, two used ones. I am saving one for
your deputy when you get one.”
“Buzzards on a buzz saw! Geeze thanks Boss.”
“Just get out of here.”
“One question Boss. What are you going to do with the old patrol cars? Are
you going to thrown them away?”
“That is two questions.”
“Sorry Boss, I am out of here. Don’t let me bother you.”
“Don’t worry, I have already learned how to deal with your stupidity and it
ain’t even lunch yet Khee.” As Cletus walked out young Perry Coltrane walked
in. Boss Rosco was in no mood to deal with his son. After listening to
Cletus babble on and on nothing could prepare him for this moment. His son
straightened his shirt and looked his father straight in the eye.
“I want to be a deputy,” Perry said as he sat down. Boss Rosco began to
laugh and laugh. As he looked at his son’s face. Boss could tell he was
serious. His son couldn’t be a police officer, he was too ditzy to even hold
a gun let alone hold a police job.
“Good luck passing the coarse,” Boss replied.
“Daddy I can do it.”
“I need proof my son. I need you to pass that course with flying colours and
also keep your mother away from me. I mean honestly, how much can one man
take of a selfish blonde?”
“You’ve been doing it for years.”
“You will have to learn Perry that sometimes men do things for good looking
women. Like for instance, sleeping in separate beds and looking at novels of
other beautiful people.”
“That doesn’t seem right.”
“Nothing is nowadays. Keep that one in mind son, keep that in mind. I don’t
ever want you to think these things are good. But you know what? I got a lot
out of it. You are the greatest son that I could ever have in this world and
I love you more than life.”
“Thank you Daddy.”
“No matter what happens while you’re a deputy I will always love you. You
big screw up, very big screw up that is.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing Perry my dear sweet son it means nothing at all.”