Lost, pt. 5

by: Essy Jane

It had been two weeks and nothing. The doctors said if he didn’t wake up soon, he was a goner. They tried to locate his family but Judd didn’t even have an emergency contact listed. I claimed to be his fiancée and they accepted it. I was with him at all times, never leaving his side.

The nurses brought me food and drink. Hospital food, it was hard to look at it. I didn’t want to think of myself in a hospital with the man I truly admired and loved. Most times those poor nurses had to force me to eat. I didn’t feel like it. I had no will of my own. I didn’t want to live at all. Not if my Judd, my dear sweet boyfriend wasn’t going to wake up.

I sat there in silence most of the time. I didn’t want to say anything to anyone. I finally dealt with my feelings for him and now this had to happen. Why was I being punished? This wasn’t fair, I wanted him! I wanted to know him just as much as he wanted to know me. Before he walked onto that road, he was about to tell me what his mother said to him on her death bed. He said it was something that was going to knock my world upside down.

Now I wondered if it was all that important. I wondered if the last thing I was going to hear out of those sweet lips was going to be how it would help me make a decision. I couldn’t take this. He was here and I was holding his hand yet he was so lifeless. So much was riding on him just waking up, just holding me one more time.

All I wanted was one more kiss. I wanted him to hold me in his arms. Was that too much to ask? Was I over reacting? Judd is still here. He is still alive. I was thinking about the worst but that was all the doctors had for me. He won’t hold on much longer. Oh but Judd had to.

“Judd, this is tiring honey, open your eyes. Just open your eyes. You want to know the truth? Well, I followed you too. I went to one of your games,” I began. I started to sob. “All those things you said every time we met. I hurt you and still you opened your heart to me. I hit you in more ways than one. I hit your hand when you offered it. When all you wanted to do was give me peace, I threw your hand away.”

It wasn’t working. Why wasn’t he opening his eyes? All I wanted was for him to open his eyes. Judd had to be okay, he just had to. There was no way he could be like this. Judd was the best thing in my life and loosing him would be like loosing everything I had worked so hard for.

Quitting the one thing that made most sense in my life. Going back to school when I thought it was pointless. Working hard day in and day out. Keeping touch with my family and my friends by letters…never being able to see them. I did all of that so I could find out who I was, where I was supposed to be.

I knew now. I was supposed to be in Judd’s arms. Being held so close that I couldn’t run anymore. Judd knew that as well as I did. Why didn’t he just get up and tell me so? I want to have one of our famous debates.

I couldn’t stand it anymore! I shook Judd softly. I shook my head when there was no response. I couldn’t stand watching him like this, Judd laying there. “Please Judd, if you open your eyes right now…I’ll marry you,” I cried. I felt something, his hand move across my full head of hair, softly rubbing it.

My eyes filled with even more tears as he mumbled, “You do realize I’m going to hold you to that promise.” I couldn’t believe it! He was awake. My love, my very life was awake.

“Oh baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine Essy, I’m just fine. I felt the same way when you hit me.” I shook my head and laughed. He laughed too and began to cough. He cleared his throat and looked into my eyes, touching my chin softly. “I knew I could make you smile.”

“Oh Judd, I’m happier than I have ever been in my life.”

“Now before you say another word I have to tell you something.”


“I am changing my name.”

“Judd, I love your name. I love everything about you. You don’t have to change your name.”

“Will you let me finish?”

“ I want to change it badly. To what it was originally.”

“What was that?”


“You’re a…”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re a…”

“That’s right.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried to, before I went to get the car but then look what happened.”

“So that means…”

“My Mama took me from the hospital. My real Mama died in a avalanche when Luke was—four.”

“Luke is your brother?”


“Which will make Bo my cousin?”

“Uh huh.”

“This is gonna be weird.” Judd pulled me in and kissed me. As he let my lips go, I smiled. “Then again, it’s gonna be great.”

“That’s what I thought you would say.” I couldn’t believe it. Suddenly I remembered Luke.

“You know he’s gonna be worried about you. I gotta call that brother of yours and tell them the good news and the bad news and the even better news.”

“Don’t be too long.”

“I won’t.” I walked out of the room with a sense of relief. I grabbed the phone after asking the nurses of course about making the call. My future Uncle answered the phone.

“Hello?” Jesse said.

“Okay, Jesse, it’s me. First off, it wasn’t my fault, no one told me,” I began.

“No one told you what?”

“That Judd was Luke’s brother. You never mentioned him before.”

“It slipped my mind.” I cleared my throat. “Okay, Judd told us not to.”

“I knew it.”

“What’s up?”

“Judd was in a car accident.”

“Oh my…is he okay?”

“He is now.”

“That’s good.”

“He has to stay in the hospital a couple weeks.”

“That’s bad.”

“He’s decided to change his name back to Duke.”

“That’s good.”

“And I’m getting married.”

“YEEEE HAAW Wow! Now this is news. I am gonna tell everyone tonight. Oh Luke is gonna be ecstatic!”

“Do you think Daisy will be my maid of Honor?”

“Will she? Essy she’ll be tickled pink. Did you tell your Aunt yet?”

“No, I want you to tell her. It’ll give her a thrill in two ways. One that I am getting married and two that you’re telling her.” Jesse laughed.

“Congratulations. Now, you make sure Judd gets better.”

“Yes sir I will.”

“Have you set a date?”

“No sir.”

“Daisy’s gonna make you do it.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Well, I got to go, my timer’s gonna ring in about ten seconds but I love you both and please stay safe.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Bye.” Well there you have it. I’m gonna get married to a wonderful man. A man who fell in love with me when I was truly lost. I still can’t believe this all started with me punching him in the face.


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