by: Marty Chrisman
Luke stood in the shadows of the room, silent and alone. There were still stains on the floor in front of the ragged old couch where Kelly’s mother had died. Dried blood and brain matter were still splattered on the wall behind where her father had been sitting. Luke knew that Uncle Jesse would whip him but good if he knew how often Luke had come back here in the past couple of months since Kelly had disappeared but he couldn’t seem to help himself. Jesse would be even madder if he found out just how often Luke had been sampling the shine lately. It seemed to be the only thing that helped numb the pain, at least for a little while. Nothing made it go away.
The shack was scheduled to be torn down in a few days. The good folks of Hazzard County didn’t want a constant reminder of what had happened here. Absently, Luke twisted the simple gold band he was wearing on the pinky of his left hand. He had bought the ring just before Kelly disappeared, intending to surprise her with it that weekend at the church picnic. It seemed like a lifetime ago instead of a just a couple of months. Luke had worn the ring ever since as a constant reminder of what he’d had and what he had lost.
Slowly, Luke turned and left the shack. It was a warm spring day but Luke still felt a chill deep inside of him that went clear to his bones. He wandered into the woods that surrounded the cabin, just as he did every day. He walked slowly through the dense under growth, his eyes on the ground. Looking, always looking. Looking for anything that might be a shallow grave. He was always relieved when he didn’t find anything, yet at the same time terrified that someday he would.
Luke knew he couldn’t go on like this. It wasn’t exactly what you would call healthy. But every day seemed to be just the day before. Endless hours stretching out with no end to the pain he felt inside and no way to make it go away. He figured that Doc Applebee would say that he was severely depressed. Hell, he already knew that. He just didn’t know what to do about it.
Jesse had tried talking to him about it a few times and so had Daisy, but Luke didn’t want to talk to anybody about what he was feeling inside. He had pretty much figured out that Jesse and Daisy knew how he had really felt about Kelly but he still didn’t want to talk to them, or anyone else, about it. He knew that Bo was upset because he felt like Luke was ignoring him and his feelings were hurt. And Luke felt bad about that but part of him was dead inside and he didn’t know if it would ever get any better.
Graduation was in a couple of weeks and Luke had already planned what he was going to do after that. He knew Uncle Jessie and the rest of the family wasn’t going to like it but he knew what he had to do. In Luke’s mind, it might be the only way to keep himself from going insane. He’d already had some disturbing thoughts, dark thoughts about ropes and guns. He had to do something before he snapped and acted on those thoughts. He wandered the woods for hours before finally returning home, long after dark. As usual, Jesse was in the living room waiting for him. He had no way of knowing how scared Jesse was that one of these nights, Luke wouldn’t come back at all.