Luke’s Views on Grapenuts

by: Bobbie Raye Duke

grapenuts

*Luke sits on roof of General Lee on sunny day*

*Looks at viewers, talks to them Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Style*

Grape-Nuts…

😛

Who invented this cereal and *why*?

*Flashback to past*

Wake up, people, grapes don’t got no nuts. And these nuts, man, there’s always one that makes your teeth break. I fed some to a bird one day…that birdie got mad at me. He doo-dooed on the General Lee. Good Lordy, he even doo-dooed on the handle! Bo was really pissed off at me that day. He almost wanted to smack my face clean off my head.

I always eat my cereal, and then the phone rings, ain’t that the strangest thang? Bo and everyone else in the world gets in the shower and it rings, me, it always rings while I eat breakfast. *shrugs* I don’t know. :))

Every time it happens, Corn Flakes, Cocoa Puffs, I eat some of Bo’s Lucky Charms, they always gets soggy when I comes back. One day I was yakkin on the phone when it rang in the middle of me eatin’ mah freakin’ Grape Nuts, and when I gets back, them durned Grape-Nuts done drink all the milk, and was sittin’ at the bottom of the bowl, burpin’. 😛

*Luke imitates Grape-Nuts in chipmunk voices* burp! feed me! feed me! *Luke imitates all Grape-Nuts chattering at once* feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me feed me!

Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!

*Returns back to him sitting on roof of General Lee*
They was all jumpin’ and chantin’ that, ‘ventually. Lord.

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