by: Essy Jane
Back so soon? Man, you guys must really like me. You think I am the best balladeer ever. Woo, they should have a balladeer award and I would get it. I would give a magnificent recognition speech. You know, thanking all the small people who got me here.
Yeah I get it, you came to see Bo and Luke right? Yeah sure, no one comes to see me. Bo and Luke are the ones with all the looks and stuff. I am just a lonely country singer with no ideas on what to come. Just kidding folks, I am solid and I know y’all care.
Quit looking at me like that, look out into the distance. Well there they are…no, not in the motor home. Hang on, who is in that motor home? Who would park a vehicle of that mass in the shrouded bushes? Maybe I am just loosing my mind.
Nope, rule number one of detective work, always go with your gut. Usually right under your nose is the answer. This to me ladies and gentlemen is suspicious. Bo and Luke can wait for a minute or two and I, your balladeer am goanna play a game of prying into other’s business.
No, I ain’t going off the wall. I am just extremely interested about what goes on around Hazzard. When there is a big camper parked in the middle of the County you better bet your last dollar someone is goanna check it out.
Bo and Luke didn’t notice. They were too busy looking at the car in front of them. You know, the one filled with the girls. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, you want to see what they’re up to. I figure though that I will have it my way today.
There’s a gentlemen walking around the camper on his cell phone. Kind of familiar looking if you ask me, his dirty blonde hair seems to remind me of a picture I once saw in the Duke house.
Bo and Luke senior were in the picture. I don’t know why I remember this. I really don’t. Now what was that guy they were with…MASON DIXON? Ah, I got it.
Okay, Mase was close to the same age as Bo and Luke senior. This couldn’t be Mason Dixon—the Mason Dixon. Dang, I sure wish that Bo and Luke hadn’t JUST driven by in the General Lee. Wait, he’s making another call.
“Hello? Yeah this is Manny Dixon,” The man on the cell phone said. So he is a Dixon boy. “You said he ran down to Georgia…where am I? I am Hazzard County…Hazzard County. Yeah…no it isn’t a hick town…no, some of the most dangerous come and hide out here. Look, I’ll catch him and get the reward…no problems there.”
Manny hung up the phone. He sighed. Now I wonder what went on the other line of conversation. Dang, I hope I get better at snoop work. Them Dukes sure could show me a thing or two.
Anyhow, Manny Dixon climbed up the ladder on the mobile home. He looked at two girls sitting up there. They were both wearing bathing suits. Now my eyes are staring. I have to turn away. Too much girl watching can be bad for your health.
Dang this seems familiar. “Hello my cupcakes nice to see you like that for once,” Manny commented. One pulled her sunglasses up, staring into the young man’s eyes.
“Hello Manny,” she said.
“What do you want?” Lindsey asked as she flipped her sunglasses back up. She pushed her blonde hair over towards one shoulder. “We’re busy doing inventory.”
“Do you think it is painless to give the impression of being so good looking?” Belle questioned.
“It is a question of whether we work my beauties. Today, we do. Parker and Ross are here in Hazzard and are going to strike any time,” Manny mumbled.
“What we have to do is be prepared. Get law jurisdiction and what have you.”
“Okay, we’ll get dressed. Come on Lindsey.”
“That’s my girls.”
“Always making us work,” Lindsey grumbled. She blew a kiss at Manny. “Can’t you give us one more day off?”
“No my beautiful girl—not until we get the goods.”
“Ah the best baddies in all of the banking business.”
“No, the best robbers.”
“Oh you know what I meant, sugar.”
“Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t.” Belle winked at Manny.
“Oh I know ya knew what she meant Manny Dixon,” Belle replied.
“Listen to us squawk while we could be getting a shower. Let’s go Belle,” Lindsey cut in.
“You’re right Lindsey.”
“I know I am.”
“Off to the showers with the both of us.”
“Have to keep our Manny happy.”
“After all, he is the one that pays us.” They pushed Manny out of the way, walking towards the ladder. “See you later Manny.” The girls walked down. Manny’s eyebrows went up.
“I am starting to like this job. Next memo, they should wear their bikinis on the job,” Manny said as he too walked down the ladder. He walked into the camper slowly. Manny finally closed the door. Now that man is a dreamer…ain’t he?
Manny Dixon is more likely to convince them girls to go in bathrobes and slippers. They are pretty but girls love to be comfortable. No really, take it from an old pro.
Alright folks, don’t you be fretting none. They have it under control…I think. Back at the Duke farm, Daisy was giving her jeep a bath. She wanted it to look good for her date tonight.
When Daisy Duke went on dates, she drove. Why? Well if the man misbehaved she could kick him out. Real smooth thinking. Man if I were a whole lot younger…well, never mind that. As she was working on the car, the phone rang. Daisy turned off the hose and ran in the house.
“Hello?” Daisy questioned.
“Hey Daisy,” A familiar voice said. Daisy seemed confused. There was a lot of noise around the voice.
“Where are you?”
“I am with your Grandma.”
“I didn’t say who are you with…I said where are you?”
“Look up.” Daisy did as her Grandpa said, looking into the skies. Sure enough, there he was flying the helicopter. “You see me?”
“Yeah Grandpa, of course I see you.”
“We’re goanna land and come in.”
“Roger Wilcox, Grandpa.” Daisy hung up the phone. She watched as her Grandfather landed the plane. As he came out, Daisy bent down—walking under the propellers. She gave her Grandpa and Grandma a hug.
“Good to see you!” Grandma Duke said.
“Grandma, y’all said you were coming in a few months.”
“Your Grandpa and I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well it worked.” The noise finally stopped. “Where’s your Uncle?”
“Working out in the field.”
“I should help him,” Grandpa commented.
“No way, I am Bo—you don’t get all the fun,” Nancy cut in. She ran over to the fields where Jesse was working away.
“I thought I heard a major entrance, hey mom,” Jesse said, not looking up.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Simple, you pick up your feet more than Dad does.” Nancy Laughed. “How are you two doing?”
“Well after coming down for Bo and Luke’s funeral last month…”
“Yeah, I was shaken up too. You know, Bo and Luke are a great team…just like I was with Jose.”
“And how I am with your father, I know.” Jesse finally turned around. He gave his Mom a hug. “Jesse, I love you so much you know that?” Jesse smiled.
“I know Mama. I am so happy you decided to come with Dad this time.”
“You know, I missed the old place.” Nancy laughed quietly to herself. “Actually, it almost looks brand new with how you have it.”
“Dad taught me well.”
“Where are those boys of yours?”
“What do boys normally do on a Saturday?”
“If Luke is picking, he’s racing.”
“If Bo is, he’s racing women.” Jesse began laughing and shook his head. “Well that was how your Dad was and you say that they seem to have traits of both your second cousin and your father.”
“Oh Mom, you would be amazed.”
“After having fiver kids, nothing surprises me.” Jesse shook his head. “Is Daisy anything like Jo Anna?”
“Daisy is a lot more refined than Jo ever was. My sister was wrestling Jose while she was pregnant.”
“Maurice wasn’t too happy with that one. He would call me up and tell me, ‘Mom, you have got to slow my wife down.’ I couldn’t do that if I wanted to.” Jesse rubbed his hands on his pants.
“Well I am done.” He stretched for a second and looked back at his mother. She had her hair up in a ponytail. Nancy-Lou didn’t really change too much. “Let’s go and see what Dad and Daisy are doing.”
I already knew what Bo Senior and Daisy were doing. He was looking under her hood. Come on, when Bo came for those funerals, he didn’t feel much like seeing Daisy’s new toy. Now that he was here on a social visit, of course he was marveling.
“Daisy, what you got here is a jewel. A real off road vehicle with the snorkel and all—dang, I am impressed. They really gave you quite the reward here,” Bo announced.
“I couldn’t believe that Mr. York just handed me this jeep,” Daisy replied.
“Well, good deeds aren’t always seen anymore. They deserve rewards.”
“Yeah as long as I don’t let it go to my head. Uncle Jesse says that when you let your power go right to the head, you are the looser.”
“Your Uncle is a smart man.”
“Yeah I know it. You know, he has always been good with us.”
“I believe it, Daisy, I really do.” Bo looked up at Jesse as he saw his face. “Jesse my young man, good to see you.”
“Are you kidding me Dad? Look at me, I am getting on in years.”
“Well so am I but you still act like a young man.” Bo’s eyes shifted.
“Ah, move about two feet to the left.” Everyone did as he said. The General flew through the air landing exactly where they had all been standing.
“Jesse, come on, I live in Hazzard. Besides, you boys used to do that all the time.” Jesse laughed and shook his head.
“You always could hear an engine from a mile away.” Bo and Luke junior got out of the car.
“WOO! What a rush,” Bo exclaimed.
“Bo, you could have killed us!” Daisy grumbled.
“I didn’t did I?”
“You could have killed my Dolly.”
“Oh quit worrying about your Jeep. Good grief.”
“What if I squished the General?”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“See? You care just as much about General Lee as I do about Dolly.”
“General Lee is family.”
“So is Dolly.”
“You just got him.”
“Would you two can in? On order of Grandpa! Now, who wants to see what I brought you?” Bo senior asked.
“Sure,” Luke replied. They all walked into the farmhouse. The kids sat on the floor in front of the adults. Nancy-Lou handed out surprises. Bo and Luke got new shocks for the General Lee. Well that and a model car.
Daisy got a beautiful dress. The whole dress was a crimson red. It had gold plated sequence all over in amazing patterns. On the bottom of the dress it was stitched with gold thread in shapes of tear drops.
“When we went to India, I saw this dress and I thought of Daisy,” Bo senior commented. Jesse shook his head. “What’s wrong son?”
“Dad, can I see you in the other room?” Jesse questioned.
“Yeah, sure Jesse, anything you want.” Bo walked into Jesse’s bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
“I am giving my grandkids presents.” Jesse shook his head.
“Those are too extravagant for country folks. Shocks for General Lee?”
“Jesse come on, you know as well as I do that the shocks go out of the General sometimes.”
“I know how much those are. Those are the most expensive shocks. That model car that you gave Bo and Luke would have worked for them.”
“Jesse…what good is money if you can’t spoil your Grandkids?”
“Dad, I am trying to teach them about the world and how it works. You ruin that all in one stay.”
“Do you want me to take them back?” Jesse sighed as he shrugged. “Jesse, it is a simple question. Do you want me to take them back?”
“No, the kids are happy. I just wish you would warn me when you’re goanna do stuff like this.” Bo smiled.
“Well if I told you son, then they wouldn’t be a surprise would they.” Jesse shook his head and smiled. He sighed softly to himself.
“You know Dad, I could never stay mad at you.”
“Tell me about it. I have a nice personality, don’t I?”
“Nah, I just really respect you for all that you are. You have always been a great father.” Bo sighed and shook his head. “What is it?”
“I don’t think I was a great father. Look at my children…”
“Come on, Jo has a husband and is married.”
“She resisted it.”
“Cameron got married…”
“At sixteen years old, he married her way too young.”
“But he still got married.”
“Their marriage suffered you know.” Jesse seemed confused. He shrugged. “Jesse, it did.”
“Jessie never seemed to say anything about it.”
“She wouldn’t would she? Jessie was an amazing individual. That young woman would do anything for her family.”
“What do you mean she wouldn’t talk about it?” Bo shook his head and sighed.
“After a period, Cameron seemed to disappear.”
“I still don’t understand what you’re pointing to.”
“People with his seniority take vacations and such. He showed up sometimes at home. Instead of coming back from missions, he would just disappear.”
“Alright, enough about Cameron.”
“Well, Cal got married.”
“Cal was a good kid.”
“He sure was…he took on a lot of rolls. His beautiful wife was one smart cookie.”
“Oh I was amazed how those two met.”
“I never did hear that story.”
“Rose and Cal were in high school together but didn’t really click. Until one day, Cal was volunteering.”
“Rose had to as well?” Bo nodded.
“He was sorting flowers to sell for a fundraiser. She thought that he was buying one. When she said rose, my son said, ‘There’s only one flower that I could ever want and she’s standing right there.’ That’s when he knew he had found his wife.”
“Well Laurel…I sort of knew all along but I refused to keep it in my mind. She was my love for life I guess.”
“You know, when I met Nancy, your mother, I thought what a brat. I didn’t want anything to do with her. However, my mind was changed.”
“How much she loved Hazzard County.”
“Yeah, Laurel seemed to love everything about life. She was an amazing person. We had a lot of adventures together before we had our kids. Laurel was one heck of a fighter.”
“She was, now let’s get back to the kids before they get upset.”
“But before we go, I do have one thing I have to tell you, Jesse.”
“What’s that Dad? You have nothing you need to say to me. You have helped me already in so many ways.”
“There is something.”
“I really love you Jesse Duke. No matter how old you get you will always be my son.”
“I love you too Dad.” They gave each other a big hug. Jesse smiled. “You will always be my father—and I ain’t old, I am just not getting any younger.” Bo laughed.
“Well I can admit it I am old. I am so old that my gray hairs have turned white and my white hairs are growing their own grey hairs.” Jesse laughed and shook his head. They walked out to be with the rest of their family. Yeah and we should leave the Duke family to this little event huh? Yeah, I think so.
Welcome to the next day. It is beautiful. The motor home is sitting there, still in the same spot. Manny is getting all ready to go see the sheriff. I mean if anyone was to know about the shady characters it SHOULD be him. Then again, that’s giving Roscoe too much credit.
When he saw Roscoe chasing the Duke Boys, you can well imagine what he thought. The Dukes ain’t criminals y’all, you know that as well as I do.
However, this Manny Dixon is new to Hazzard life. So you know what he was thinking. Why do people go and resist a major arrest? Well you have no idea how upset that made Manny.
He knows how tough it is chasing folks to get what he wants. That young man thought everyone should keep all aspects of the law. That includes stopping for the law man.
Well folks you can tell by my last statement one thing, Manny Dixon has never been to Hazzard County have he now? So you know what he’s goanna do right? Uh huh, go on the wrong side and join forces with the law.
If only Manny would call his Grandpa. Ol’ Mase could clear this up real quick. He would probably hit his Grandson in the head with a newspaper. Heck if I had one right now…no I wouldn’t hit him, I would read it.
Anyway, there go the Dukes. Now Manny is in his car. He blocks the road for Roscoe. Bo slams on the breaks. Roscoe does the same thing, hitting the General Lee. Well this makes more of a dent in Roscoe’s car than it does on Bo and Luke’s.
Roscoe was thrilled. He was about to catch the Dukes. Roscoe got out of his car. He rubbed his hands together and smiled. “Alright you Duke Boys now you can just freeze it right there,” Roscoe said.
“Roscoe, where are we goanna go?” Luke asked.
“Dang it Roscoe, do you know what you’re doing? Luke’s driving me to school and…” Bo commented.
“Save it Bo and Luke!” Roscoe exclaimed. Manny got out of his car. He looked at the boys. “Who are you?”
“Does it matter? I helped you,” Manny replied. Roscoe’s smile became bigger. “So, what did these guys do?”
“Well they uh…they…”
“You don’t have a reason to arrest them?” Roscoe scratched his head. “What kind of a law man are you? If there is no reason to arrest them then why were you chasing them?”
“Uh…practice? Khee!” Bo and Luke started laughing as they shook their heads.
“I don’t get it!”
“Welcome to Hazzard County. Are you a law man? If you are you have a weird car for being a man of the law,” Luke commented. Bo smiled.
“Actually, I am a private investigator.”
“A private investigator setting roots in Hazzard County? Must be an important little adventure for you to come here—this being a significant position.
“I am here on special assignment.”
“I see, what’s your name?”
“Manny Dixon…who are you?” Bo smiled.
“Luke, I know that name,” Bo cut in.
“Yeah Bo, I hear ya, I know the name too,” Luke mumbled. Bo seemed to be concentrating. Luke suddenly snapped his fingers. “I got it, Mason Dixon.”
“What, that picture of Grandpa?” Manny’s eyes widened and Bo’s seemed to sparkle. “You are related then to Mason Dixon?”
“Yeah, he married one of his associates, Tink,” Manny answered. Bo began laughing.
“Ooo ain’t Grandpa goanna have a bird!” Manny directed his attention to the Sheriff.
“Are you goanna let these boys go?”
“Are you kidding me?” Roscoe questioned.
“Do I look like a person who would joke around? If you don’t have a reason, back off.” Roscoe growled for a moment and then got back into his car. He backed up and did a u-turn. He drove away. Bo and Luke smiled.
“Thanks Manny,” Bo commented. He put his hands back on the steering wheel. Luke straightened up in his seat, knowing that they would be going at any given second “Now it is our turn to shove off. We’ll see you later.”
“Actually, I was wondering…”
“If you could go with us?” Luke asked.
“Yes, but how did you…?”
“Oh come on, you wanna know our connection to your father. It just happens we have our Grandpa with us. Now, if you wanna come over and meet him…”
“Your Grandpa is at your place?”
“Yes, come on, let’s get moving.”
“Done deal, Luke. Just let me get back over to my ride, Bo.”
“What a sweet ride it is! Yahoo,” Bo exclaimed excitedly. Bo started up the engine.
“You ain’t kidding! I paid a pretty penny for this car.”
“Well a car is like your best friend. If ya don’t take care of it—well then you’re in big trouble. You are out of a ride and out of a good relationship all in one shot,” Luke cut in.
“I suppose you are right…then again, I never really did have a good relationship with a car.” Bo laughed as he shook his head no. “What?”
“A car is the one thing you wanna have a relationship with,” Bo replied
“I guess I should keep that in mind, Bo. I really haven’t been friends with a car.”
“Well go get friendly with yours so we can get out of the middle of the road.”
“Yeah…sorry, no problem there.” Manny got back in his car. Bo looked at Luke.
“You know, he’s a pretty interesting character. First he almost gets us put into the slammer and then he saves our bacon.”
“Well Bo, you have got to expect that someone like this is goanna be different,” Luke replied. Manny began moving his hot shot souped up Ferrari, painted silver. Bo and Luke were following right behind him.
“Yeah I suppose so. Still, I wonder if this one is as experienced as he says he is.”
“What do you mean by that one Bo? He’s gotta have some experience. He wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t.”
“I just have a feeling is all.”
“Yeah, you and Uncle Jesse always get those feelings. I wonder why.”
“Beats the heck out of me.” Bo stepped on the petal and got ahead of Manny. “I know one thing, this boy ain’t goanna out drive me.” Luke began to laugh.
“Is that all you care about?”
“Nope, I care about girls too.” Luke shook his head. Bo made a goofy face. Manny somehow managed to get ahead of Bo. Luke started laughing.
That is ONE nice ride.” Bo shrugged. I think Luke is right. If I had a ride like that—well, never mind what I would do with it. This ain’t all about me now.
“Yeah if you like showing off.”
“You were just showing off with the General, I wouldn’t talk.”
“Yeah well this one thinks he has something to prove.”
“I guess.” Bo seemed to be pouting. I would be too if someone had just been playing with my pride. Hang on ladies and gentlemen, you know the business is just about to begin.
Anyway, there’s a few people we have to check out for this one. No, I do not mean those girls over there. We can’t all look at girls all day. Then again—ah forget it.
Now meet the two in question of Manny Dixon, Parker and Ross. Lance Parker used to be a mailroom clerk who was going to school. He was good with people that’s for sure. He was so good in the mail room; Miss Tizdale would have hired him.
However when his Mom died, Lance’s money was cut off. You see ladies and germs, Lance’s father was more than sure his son needed to stand on his own two feet. You see, Lance got the job through his father. So in other words, he was fired.
Soon, Lance got a new job. However, he really didn’t get the best one in the world. It was a packaging service that wasn’t used too often. With a job that went nowhere, Lance couldn’t make up the difference.
James Ross was a man who hated the world. Folks I truly believe that he had every right to. I don’t give him the right to do what he does but, I do respect him for not putting on a good face. I mean, he really doesn’t like the world right now. You see, a lot went on in this poor man’s life.
His father was a drunk who had left his mom. James’ mom was a gambler. Not much of a family, friends. I tell you, this guy was both mother and father to his younger sister. He even forged notes.
Soon, they moved out. Poor James worked two jobs. He worked hard to get his sister through school. All that hard work was wasted as she quit school and married, a drunk. After that, he was sick of everything.
James was sure he wasted time working those two jobs…with all the lack of sleep. For his baby sister to turn out to marry a drunk and to be beaten. You can imagine folks what that would do to a man…to loose his sister in such a fashion.
You know, sometimes history repeats itself…sometimes for the good. Many good things have come from repletion—that includes hairstyles. I mean you have seen the sixties and seventies looks come back. I like those styles, folks. I like them a lot. They are groovy.
Other times, it repeats because people don’t know any different…and that turns into the bad. Wars are very much fought for the same reasons. And for some odd reason, people sometimes follow the lives of their parents. They know that it is bad for them but, they do the things their parents do anyway. Why? Who knows?
I guess you’re wondering how I know so much about these fellas…well don’t you watch the news? They are wanted in seventeen states. Now trust me, you would know a lot about these boys if they were wanted like this.
Well one thing I am sure of, when you bring two men like this together—well that’s trouble. Lance and James were two men with a past and that my friends is beyond dangerous.
Lance and James were roommates. You can imagine how that went. Soon, the bills piled and the boys got to thinking. They shot men—at first it was hard. Sinful things always get easier after you have done them a few times.
Now these creatures were wanted men. And as suspected, they were about to hit Hazzard. Why Hazzard County? Well, it was a smaller deal. They were being looked for. What better place to go than to a small place? Well that’s my thinking anyway—that is if I were a crook.
Then again, they don’t know anything about Hazzard County do they now? That will be their—uh, I am giving out information when I don’t know much about the situation. Sorry about that.
Now there is Lance—no not the brown haired one, the blonde. He seems to be fretting over something. “You know, when you’re rich your troubles do not get any easier,” Lance grumbled. He shook his head harshly at James. “If I hadn’t listened to you in the first place…”
“Oh, now you’re blaming me for the men you shot?” James questioned.
“The men I shot? How about the ones you shot, James?”
“Look, let’s not think about that. We need to think about our next job and get out of here. You know there are people after us.”
“Don’t remind me, every town I look in is covered with men who would be tickled pink to see me in the chair.” Now folks if you think he’s talking about Grandma’s rocking chair, think again.
“Oh come on Lance, you know that I wouldn’t let that happen to ya.” James shook his head as he lowered it. He seemed to stare at the floor for a minute before looking up again. “You were the one that helped me with my sister’s death.”
“She’s dead, end of story.”
“Okay Lance, you don’t have to be so emotional about it. Dang, you are so testy today.” Did you hear that? Yup, he’s a southern boy.
“Now Hazzard should be easy, James.”
“Yeah I know.”
“They don’t really guard the bank too well…seeing as it is a small place and all.”
“You think we can get away with this then?”
“Of course, we will be able to wreck this place. We’ll have so much money, we’ll be rolling in it.” They gave each other a high five. “First, we will have to rob the local store. I don’t know about you but I would rather rob a bank with bullets in my hand.”
“I hear ya.”
“Bullets are the best thing we have got.”
“Well we didn’t become wanted men by shooting bubbles.”
“We didn’t get as rich as we are by shooting peas either.” They began to laugh.
“Once we get the money it is down to Mexico for the both of us. We can open up something magical.”
“You bet, we won’t ever have to deal with this horrible life again. I will be thrilled to have the money and power I once had.”
“We’ll show both of our parents won’t we now?”
“We sure will. Our fathers and mothers will know just how resourceful we are.”
“You said it.” Now I think these boys’ parents would be cross with them. Now can you imagine having a son that is wanted? I couldn’t.
“We are the best.”
“We always will be the best too. Don’t you ever forget that.” They hugged each other like they was brothers.
“I am so glad I found a friend like you.”
“No sir, not a friend, a brother.”
“We are like brothers aren’t we?”
“Sure are. I would take a bullet for you man. I would really do that for you.” James and Lance smiled.
“I think you know we both would. You know, you have been my brother in spirit. All this time…”
“Yeah, we will stay together.”
“Mexico will be our accomplishment. We will show the world a better place.” Yeah sure, by robbing one back at a time. How weird are these two?
“Everyone will have a job.”
“A good job.”
“No one will have to worry about their parents cutting them off.”
“Or their parents drinking.”
“No more of all of this horrible stuff.”
“They will be able to come to us.”
“We’ll help them get started.” Now I wonder about these two. Why do they do it? If they have lots of money why don’t they leave Hazzard alone and just move on? I guess that’s what greed does to you.
Well friends, ain’t this goanna be a sticky situation? The Dukes, along with Manny and his associates, are goanna have a lot of work to do. I am so glad that it I ain’t goanna pull these bad dudes out of the race, aren’t you?
Well you can just imagine how much fun the Dukes were having. Bo senior was catching up with Manny’s stories about his Grandpa and Grandma. “I still can’t believe Tink married that sly ol’ dog. He could make a woman fall for him at forty feet. Daisy, my cousin, almost fell for him,” Bo senior said.
“Looks like it is happening again,” Nancy laughed. Manny was staring at Daisy like a dog stares at a bone. Luke snapped his fingers and Manny went back to reality. “So Manny, your father is a great detective and your mother…”
“My mother was even better. When Grandpa turned fifty, he was still doing missions with beautiful women. He trained them well. However, Grandma wanted him to stay at home with his family,” Manny replied.
“I see, you know, I worried about Bo sometimes too.”
“You worried about me?” Bo senior questioned. Nancy smiled, she kissed Bo’s lips softly.
“If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have been your wife.”
“Get a room!” Bo junior yelled. Jesse began to laugh. Luke just shook his head. “Really, this display of affection by my Grandparents is…well yuck.”
“Now Bo, that ain’t nice,” Jesse commented.
“Well it is how I feel okay? They can smooch all they want as long as it ain’t in front of me.”
“Just wait until you get a girlfriend.”
“I have plenty of them.”
“Do you kiss them?”
“Can we get back on topic here, I had enough of the kisses and so on that we’re talking about,” Luke mumbled.
“Okay, so I am after two bank robbers,” Manny announced.
“I see, for a man who is eighteen you sure have a weird job.”
“Well these two…”
“These two what?”
“These two bank robbers are wanted in seventeen states. No one has been able to catch them.”
“Well then, they have stepped in the wrong county, Manny,” Daisy cut in.
“Daisy’s right, these guys won’t be able to deal with Hazzard,” Luke added.
“If we don’t help then they will get away again. I have a plan though.”
“What kind of plan Daisy?”
“We are goanna let them rob the bank.” Bo junior and Luke stared at each other. “No, they ain’t goanna get away with it. We’ll be there so no one gets hurt.”
“We’ll need to see Cooter and Dodger for this one.”
“Who is Cooter? Who is Dodger?” Manny asked.
“Well Cooter and Dodger are the two people who are goanna make this plan happen,” Bo junior said.
“I don’t get where y’all are going on this one but I think you should let me and my associates handle it.”
“Oh no, you know what? We know this county and we know goons. You need our help whether you don’t want it or not.”
“You haven’t met my associates, Bo.”
“I don’t have to. I know they’ll need our help.” Manny shook his head. He pulled a walky talky out.
“We don’t need your help.” Manny pushed the receiver button. “This is Dare Devil calling Southern Belle and Miss America, come in ladies.”
“This is Southern Belle here, what do you need Dare Devil, come back?” Belle questioned. You could hear motors in the background.
“What’s your twenty?”
“Our ETA is nine seconds.”
“10-4.” Manny put his walky talky down. “Come on outside and meet my associates.” Bo, Bo, Luke, Jesse, Nancy and everyone else went outside. There were two motorcycles that had just been parked outside. The girls took off their helmets.
“I hate to be a party pooper but them girls couldn’t hack Hazzard County,” Bo junior said.
“I could hammer you to the ground in a heart beat,” Belle replied. Now don’t you ever challenge Bo Duke. “I will show you how good I am.”
“Really?” Now she did it. Bo is quite the character. He may be young but he has a lot of martial arts and wrestling background to him. “I highly doubt you can take me.” Bo also spars with Luke a lot when he practices for boxing.
“Oh I could take you in a heartbeat.”
“You wanna try?”
“Uncle Jesse told me not to hit a woman.”
“Well, I am goanna give you permission to hit me.”
“I guess I am allowed then?”
“Now Bo…” Luke began. Lindsey shook her head.
“Let them fight plow boy,” Lindsey commented.
“Now who are you calling a plow boy?”
“The ones I see here. Now, you couldn’t take her just as much as you couldn’t take me.” Lindsey too was playing with fire. Luke was the top boxer.
“No, you couldn’t take us.”
“Luke, we need to show these ladies some manners. I suggest I fight her and then you fight the other one,” Bo junior cut in.
“And I don’t suggest either one of ya fight them girls,” Jesse shouted. Bo senior began to laugh as he shook his head no. “What?”
“Don’t you remember all the fights you had when you was a boy?” Bo senior questioned. Jesse was stumped. “Come on son, let them boys fight. How else are they goanna prove their manhood?”
“By leaving those girls alone and working together.”
“Oh come on Jess, you know as well as I do that’s not any fun.”
“Let them be.” Jesse rolled his eyes. The girls got into position as well as the boys. Watching Bo and Luke fight is quite the adventure on its own. Belle made the first punch to Bo. Bo blocked it almost effortlessly.
“You have got to do better than that,” Bo commented.
“Don’t get too cocky farm boy,” Belle replied. He made his first jab to the abs—after faking going to the nose.
“What is with you calling me farm boy or plow boy?” He then punched her in the head. He kicked her twice. The first one she grabbed, the second she got him in the chest.
“Well it is simple.” Belle threw a jab which Bo caught easily. She hit him with a low sidekick with her right leg to his thigh. Bo blocked downward. She used her right leg, hitting him with a roundhouse kick. Bo got it in the face. “You are nothing more than a cheap plow boy with normal tricks.
“You think so?”
“I don’t think so, I know so.”
“Well then show me how it is done.”
“No boy, you show me.” Bo faked the jab.
“If I am anything…” He quickly spun around and kicked her in the stomach. “I am nothing more than what I was. I am a champion and a champion knows…” He then jabbed again. “When to pull his move and how fast to do it.” Bo did a shin kick, hitting her elbow with great force. He began hitting her with everything he had. Belle tried to block but Bo was coming too fast. She landed on the ground. Bo had won.
“You didn’t do too bad plow boy.”
“This ain’t over yet. It is time for my battle,” Lindsey said. She looked at Luke.
“Oh, now you wanna fight me huh?” Luke questioned. He laughed. “Look, I don’t like fighting women.”
“I don’t like arrogant men.” Lindsey crouched over, her left knee was touching her chest.
“Well too bad sweet heart because here I am.” She sprung up, whipping her right leg up. As her right leg fell to the ground, she whipped her left leg up, landing on her right leg. She put her left leg down.
“What did you think?” Luke rubbed his face and shrugged.
“I still don’t want to fight you. I must compliment you on your butterfly kick.”
“Thank you but I still want to show you two I can hack it in Hazzard.”
“Well sugar, I don’t think you can.” Luke swung his back leg up, his knee touched his chest. He kept his leg straight. Luke pushed his leg down hard, hitting Lindsey in the head. He hit her with a roundhouse kick. Luke turned away.
“I know what you’re going to do next. You are going to kick me with a back kick.”
“If you know what I am going to do, why do you look so concerned?” Luke twisted and came back in. As Luke was about to fake a move, Lindsey recognized it. She did a back flip to avoid the high roundhouse kick Luke was about to provide.
“Simple, farmer, you know as well as I do that I would have done the same move.” Lindsey began walking away. Luke began to laugh.
“You’re ending the fight?” Lindsey turned around, facing Luke. He chin was up and she looked like she was planning something.
“What did ask me?”
“Simple question, are you ending the fight?” Now this girl was about fifteen steps away from Luke. Still she stared into his face coldly.
“Why would you ask such a thing?”
“Simple, you have fire in your eyes.”
“You better believe it.” Lindsey began running. She began to run towards him. Now friends, Luke was so stunned with wondering what Lindsey was up to, he didn’t have the notion to move.
“What are you doing?” She leapt into the air—not very high but enough to do some amazingly fast kicks to the chest. She did a back flip and landed on the ground.
“How was that one?” Lindsey pushed back her long velvet hair. Luke coughed. He looked up at her from his slump.
“I give up.” Bo began laughing. “Well you take her on then.”
“All in good time Luke. Right now, we proved that we’re half right. We do have to work together otherwise, we’re in big trouble. One thing is clear, we work together well in the teams we are in,” Bo commented.
“That’s one thing both Lindsey and I can agree on,” Belle said.
“What’s your name anyway?”
“Ah, Belle and Bo—that sounds like beautiful music to me. Well, perhaps Belle and I will work together on this one. Luke and Lindsey, y’all are a good set.”
“You still haven’t answered my question, what do we need this Cooter and Dodger for?” Manny asked.
“You will have to see.”
“Look, I need to know if I am involved in this plan.”
“You’ll know,” Luke replied. Bo began laughing. Luke finally stood up straight.
“The question is when will I know?”
“When we tell you,” Bo laughed. Jesse shook his head as Daisy began to laugh.
“Good one Bo,” Daisy giggled. Well, Uncle Jesse cleared his throat and all of that was over. Now friends, I am looking forward to this fight, ain’t you? Well hold on will ya? We’re getting on to the conflict of Hazzard County.
Now friends, you have to watch pretty closely for this one. We’re at Hazzard County Bank. Over to your left is the one and only Daisy Duke. Yeah I know, she don’t look much like Daisy or the normal person you see running the bank. Nope, she looks like an old woman.
Miss Daisy was over there talking with Dodger Davenport. I know what you’re thinking, the only time you see Dodge in a suit is when there is a funeral. He looks pretty sharp now don’t he?
Okay, they all look weird. I’ll admit it. I have never seen a Duke look quite like this let alone a Davenport. Now Daisy’s wearing that hat for one reason—don’t worry, you’ll get it in a minute. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.
To the left, you see Jesse Duke pretending to stand in line and talk to Nancy who is the other person who is in there running the bank. She too is wearing a hat. Jesse also has a suit on. He looks sharp in that thing.
As I said, you had better watch because this is goanna happen mighty quick. Especially with Daisy Duke running the show. As the baddies walked in, they began shooting everyone in sight. Each Duke lied there with blood on their clothes. Daisy and Nancy had been shot in the head.
Everyone else was shot in the chest. The bad guys were getting away in a white truck with a happy face painted on the top. Bo got into the back of the truck.
“Bo!” Belle yelled. Luke and Lindsey sped after them. Belle shook her head as she walked into the bank. “Y’all can get up now,” Belle said. Every person stood up. Daisy and Nancy took off their hats. They both ripped the metal coating of their hats off.
“Hey Belle,” Nancy and Daisy said at the same time. Jesse and Dodger stood up. They took off their vests.
“These things work pretty darn good. My brother is a genius,” Dodger commented.
“Well yeah, he is your brother,” Daisy replied.
“Would you guys listen to me?” Belle questioned. Everyone looked at her. “Bo was stupid. He jumped into the back of the getaway truck.”
“WHAT?” Jesse exclaimed.
“Okay, Jesse hold up. Look, he jumped in. Lindsey and Luke are going after them. Manny is also on the stretch. He’s goanna be fine.”
“Dukes are prone to trouble, little lady. There ain’t much that can change that” I agree with Uncle—err uh Jesse Duke. Yes, those boys are prone to trouble.
Manny and Luke were on the trail—with Lindsey of course. They were all chasing behind the crooks. Luke and Manny were doing pretty good behind the wheel too. “Why would your cousin put himself in that much trouble?” Lindsey asked.
“Well he’s a Duke, he lives for trouble,” Luke replied. The group began shooting at them. Lindsey took out her gun. “ARE YOU NUTS? Put that pea shooter away.”
“They’re shooting at us.”
“Doesn’t make it right. Besides, you might hit my cousin.” Lindsey shook her head.
“I’m sorry.” They finally shot out the tires of the General Lee. Luke swerved right and left—pulling off the road safely. “Now what?”
“Manny’s on the case.” Lindsey shook her head. She saw the smoke coming out of the radiator. “Apparently he was hit too.”
“Now what?” Luke picked up the CB receiver. “What are you doing?”
“Back up plan.” Luke brought the receiver to his mouth, he pushed the button. “Lost sheep one to Wise Owl one, come in Wise Owl.”
“This is Wise Owl one, what do you need Lost Sheep one, come back?” Bo questioned over the CB.
“You have been listening to our waves right?”
“That’s an affirmative.”
“We’re without a ride to find Lost Sheep two.”
“I am on my way, I’ll lend you a line.”
“10-4 Grandpa, catch you on the flip flop.”
“Luke, keep safe until I get there.”
“You know it Grandpa.”
“Well this is Wise Owl signing out.”
“Lost sheep one, out.” Now I bet you’re wondering what he’s goanna drive? After all, everyone has their cars where they are. Well y’all you will just have to see.
About five minutes later, Luke grabbed his case for his bow. He hoisted it on his shoulder. Lindsey stared at the case for a minute. Now she ma be southern but she ain’t from Hazzard County. So naturally, this little gal has no idea.
“What is that?” Lindsey asked. See what I mean? Lindsey sees but has no idea whatsoever.
“My insurance policy,” Luke replied. Lindsey rolled her eyes.
“Your cousin is out there and you are bringing and insurance policy? You are more worried about me shooting him with a gun than you worrying about paper.”
“Trust me, this one will keep us safe.” There was a noise over head. A rope was lowered. “After you Lindsey.” She began shimming up the rope. Luke did the same. Now as Miss Lindsey got up, she opened the door and moved into the back seat. Luke sat in the front. He put on the head set.
“You ready Luke?” Bo senior asked.
“Oh yeah. The truck has a happy face painted on the top.” Luke tapped on his so called insurance. “I thought I would bring it along.” Bo glanced over and then smiled.
“Dukes never change.”
“Never will either.”
“Good stuff.” As they flew, Lindsey watched for the truck. Soon, there it was as plain as day. Bo junior looked over head and smiled. He knew he had to get rid of the guns.
Bo grabbed two fishing hooks that were in the back. He opened up the window and grabbed their guns. Bo threw them both out the window. Bo senior flew ahead. He threw down the rope. Bo junior grabbed onto it but under pressure, it broke.
Bo senior shook his head. He flew down lower. Bo grabbed onto the bottom of the helicopter. The chopper began to climb. Bo hung on tight.
Luke threw down a stick of dynamite. It blew just in front of the truck. They had to pull off or be sucked into the hole. Bo was put on the ground. He ran after one of the crooks, Lance. He began fighting him. Bo chased down James and got him as well.
Whelp, them bad dudes went to jail. Bo and Luke said goodbye to their women…well after Luke had a rematch with Lindsey. You wanna know what happened? Well, Lindsey still won. Oh well, Luke would have to work on his strength.
Manny would also have to work on his skills. He did pretty good though for his first mission. Look at him, he’s kissing Daisy. You can see the two brother types getting angry about it. That’s the way Bo and Luke are.
The Dukes are pretty smart huh? They were so smart in fact that guess what? Manny gave them all credit. The Dukes got a reward for what they did. They put it in the Hazzard County hospital fund. What typical Dukes.
“You Dukes sure taught me a lot about life,” Manny said.
“We did?” Bo junior questioned.
“Yeah, you have all the skills you want. Applying them is the hard part. Thanks for having so much faith in me. I hope our paths cross again.”
“You can count on it.” Bo and Manny shook hands.
“See you soon Many,” Luke answered.
“You throw a good stick of dynamite I hear.”
“I ain’t here to be prideful and that’s what Lindsey taught me.” Lindsey walked over and kissed him. Luke’s eyes widened.
“You aren’t a sore looser, I like that,” Lindsey commented. Luke’s eyebrows went up. He kissed her back.
“I’ll miss you.”
“Right back at you Farmer Duke.”
“Are you goanna miss me, Belle?” Bo asked.
“Well, you are the only one who can kick my butt,” Belle replied.
Well, everyone was gone including Bo senior who is just flying back to LA in his helicopter. There you go folks. Everything is back to normal…if there is a normal in Hazzard County.