Roscoe’s Love Affair

by: Essy Jane

THIS STORY IS dedicated to

Kristy Duke
Garrett Duke

Kristy Duke is a great person who is not only a fellow writer but is a very good friend. She has always been wonderful. There is something special about her. She always finds good in people. Even if she is having a bad day, Kristy helps others to feel good.

Kristy has inspired me to keep on going no matter what. That is what is so amazing about her. From the first day I started writing, she complimented me and made me feel like I was important. She made me feel like I was supposed to be here.

Kristy Duke was the one who encouraged me to come back and keep writing in cyberhazzard. Otherwise, I would still be sitting there not writing at all. This series wouldn’t have ever been created. I would not have met many new people here.

I remember the first time I was introduced to her. She was quiet and didn’t say much so I was told. However, she surprised even Daney as she talked to me. Because of Daney, I met a wonderful person who can do nothing but good with her writing and with people.

Don’t let her silence fool you. Kristy has a lot to offer everyone. I do mean that. She has a lot in there. She is an amazing writer. Kristy constantly has been magnificently kind to everyone around her. So this one is for her. For Kristy deserves some recognition every once in a while.


Greetings from the great Hazzard County, I am your Balladeer and I will be taking you around. I am so glad you chose to come back for all those that have been here before. For all you newbies, I welcome you to Hazzard County and hope you come repeatedly.

May I introduce you to Leila’s favorite day of the year? Thank you. Her absolute favorite part of the year is her anniversary. She loves knowing that JD Hogg married her. Leila loves him a lot.

I guess the anniversary is something that was created solely to drive men nuts. You have to go out and find the perfect gift and know when to give it. If you forget the anniversary, men get to sleep on the lumpy couch.

So, all men hate this day with a passion. Well almost all men. Bo and Luke seem to love it. They are the ultimate charmers. An example of this, they gave the lunch lady a necklace to commemorate her thirty third year as a lunch lady. Now friends, that’s slick. You wouldn’t believe the lunch they had the next day.

As for me, well—I don’t like it at all. Boss Hogg is in my same boat but he works dang hard. He wants to make everything so perfect for Ms Leila. So what does he do? He buys her amazing things and does deeds that would drive her to kiss him.

They sit on the outskirts of ridge road and have a beautiful date. A dinner where the two just enjoy each other’s company. Boss is always nice on this day. He seems to pull out the right cards to make Leila love him all that much more.

I bet you’re wondering why he picked ridge road. Well that’s simple, this is where Boss proposed after their date went sour. You see, Boss wanted to take her to a dance and proposed right on the floor of the barn. Instead he had a flat tire and had to propose right there.

As they ate their fried chicken, Boss Hogg noticed an orange car flying through the air. It landed five feet away from them. Soon the usual white patrol car began to fly. It didn’t land five feet away. In fact, it landed right on top of Boss Hogg’s white Grand Torino.

Since Boss had replaced his old police cars with even older sturdier ones, this car ripped right through the metal of the Grand Torino. Now friends, that is the death of a beautiful car. I will dearly miss it. You can imagine how Boss Hogg’s face looked.

Thank goodness Leila calmed him right down. Otherwise I tell ya, Boss Hogg would have kicked Roscoe’s hat all the way out of the state. I don’t think Roscoe could have dealt with a new hat. That one fits him very well.

When Boss Hogg got back to the office with Roscoe, well let’s just say he sat in his office a long time before coming out. “Well Roscoe, I ain’t goanna make you pay for a new car. However, I have requested a partner for you,” Boss Hogg announced as he came out of his office.

“Partner? I am the Sheriff of Hazzard County. Sheriffs have deputies not partners. I already have two deputies. One is Enos. The other is Rod Dustan. I ain’t got the heart to fire him. He’s a good old timer, Khee,” Roscoe explained.

“Yes, you are a sheriff that likes to destroy things.” Roscoe motioned a fist as Boss Hogg turned around to grab something. Roscoe cleared his throat, trying to hide what he had done before.

“I ain’t that bad.”

“Roscoe, you’re lucky I ain’t firing you.”


“I figured that if you hung around a nice police person who was good at their job you might get somewhere in life.”

“I am a good sheriff.”

“She will be coming tomorrow.”


“Miss Sally Hunter.”

“Boss, I don’t need a partner.”

“My car says differently Roscoe.” Boss shakes his head as he takes out a pack of donuts. “Oh well though, I guess I’ll get a new Cadillac. That way I can be like my mentor.”

“Oh good! Then I did you a favor right? Khee, I knew I did well. Now you can phone back that woman and tell her not to come?”

“She’s coming Roscoe, make no mistake about that.”

“But Boss…”

“Now don’t you Boss me Roscoe P Coltrane. I am sending this woman so you don’t mess up as bad.”

“I didn’t do too badly.” Boss crocked an eyebrow. Come on folks, Roscoe did mess up. He landed on top of a Grand Torino. That is a 59 year old car.

“You destroyed my car.”

“So? You can get it fixed.”

“A car whose parts are obsolete…in other words I have to talk to the Davenport brothers and get them to specially weld and make every part of the car.”

“I was just chasing them Duke Boys like you said.”

“Chase them anywhere but near my spot.”

“Yes sir.” Yep, our Roscoe is in big trouble. You know it too. He don’t want some girl messing in his personal affairs. Being a officer of the law was his personal business. So what is he goanna do? “I’m goanna go now Boss.”

“Fine, git.”


“Good.” Roscoe walked outside and sat on the top step of the courthouse. Bo and Luke noticed him from Cooter’s Garage. Anyone would notice him right now. Look at those sore puppy dog eyes. Bo and Luke walked across the road.

“What’s up Roscoe?” Bo commented.

“Like you care,” Roscoe snapped.

“Roscoe we care, we always have,” Luke answered him.

“No you don’t, all you Dukes care about is messing up Boss’ plans.”

“And girls,” Bo added.

“Yes and you care about girls.”

“Don’t forget about the cars,” Luke pointed out. Roscoe rolled his eyes.

“Yes Luke, you care about cars too.” Roscoe sighed. He shook his head. “But you don’t care about me.”

“We care about you Roscoe, really.”

“Otherwise we wouldn’t be asking. Now come on, tell Uncle Bo all about it,” Bo commented.

“Alright, they’re giving me an assistant,” Roscoe replied.

“An assistant? That ain’t too bad. She’s probably honest. Boss won’t keep her long and then you can go back on your cheery optimistic way. And ya can start catching us once again for stupid reasons.”

“You’re right Bo, Boss Hogg can’t stand honest people, that’s why he has me chase you. Khee, I feel better already.”

“Now you go out there and write some tickets.”

“Roger Wilcox, Bo and Luke. That’s radio talk for I sure will. Tee-hee, I am goanna be by myself in no time.” Roscoe began dancing down the street. Luke stared at his cousin Bo.

“Now why in your right mind would go and tell him that?” Luke questioned.

“Simple Luke, he was upset. I had to say something to make it all better,” Bo replied.

“Good grief, you’re looking forward to this lady leaving?” Bo shrugged.

“Ain’t you?”

“No, I think that it would be nice to have a little honesty in Hazzard County once in a while. You know, not always Dukes after everyone.”


“So, can you imagine not having a ticket every other day for something stupid?”

“Oh come on Luke, if you haven’t noticed, Roscoe and Enos are what makes Hazzard more interesting. If there was no chase we wouldn’t have the chance to practice now would we?”

“Bo, do you always think about racing?”


“I see.”

“I think about girls too.”

“You’re impossible you know that?” Luke shook his head. He looked both ways. “One minute girls the next about cars. What am I goanna do with you?”

“You could shoot me.”

“Then Hazzard really wouldn’t be interesting.” Bo began to laugh. He smiled.

“Cousin, I wouldn’t want a Hazzard without you either.” Luke smiled. As he looked at the cheesy look on Bo’s face, his expression changed.

“You mean that?”

“No Luke Duke in Hazzard? Now that would be weird. Uncle Jesse says that the two of us make quite the team.”

“Oh we do make quite the team.” Luke had the ‘as a matter of fact’ look on his face. Bo knew he just had to point out something else. “Don’t forget about Daisy though.”

“How could I? She has saved our bacon more times than I’ll ever be able to count.”

“You can say that again.”

“She has saved our bacon…”

“Bo I didn’t mean that literally.”

“I know.” The two walked back across the street. Bo stopped in front of the garage. Luke stopped beside him.

“You know what I especially like about Daisy?” Luke scratched his head, tilting it slightly to the side. He then looked back at Bo.


“I like the fact that she’s so honest and open.”

“Oh that she is.”

“I think that she really loves it here too.”

“Daisy will always love it here. Who doesn’t?”

“I don’t know of one single person who would ever want to leave Hazzard County.”

“I do, people who want major jobs.” Bo laughed and shook his head.

“That’s for sure.”

“Hazzard doesn’t exactly have everyone of the jobs that people want.”

“Tom couldn’t become the best scientist he could be out here.”

“Well with the new hospital…”

“You never know. He might move back here so he can do research. Wouldn’t that be nice to have our cousins back here again?”

“Oh that would be like a dream come true.” Bo and Luke walked into the garage. They both slid under a car each and began to help Dodger and Cooter.

“I really missed those two.”

“Which two?” Dodger asked.

“Tom and John,” Cooter replied.

“How would you know what they’re talking about?”

“I ease drop, dogfish.”

“That’s not nice, Cooter.”

“Oh come on y’all, cool it,” Bo said.

“Yeah, no fights over stupid things,” Luke added.

“Sorry, Dodge,” Cooter mumbled.

“Sorry Coot,” Dodger answered.

“There, now that’s awesome,” Luke stated.

“Y’all should always be trying to be friends,” Bo added. Cooter and Dodger looked at each other and growled. Bo and Luke laughed. Now friends, I like Bo and Luke. They may not always see eye to eye but they get along pretty good. While they’re at it, they help others get along. Now that’s friendship.


Bo and Luke were racing with Daisy. Luke was driving this time which was fine by Bo. He loved to sit back and watch every once in a while. Luke was beating Daisy pretty well. He had her right where he wanted her.

Well that is until a third car appeared in the race. The car was a nice old one too. It was a white Roadrunner. It came equip with a CB radio. Now friends, this gal must’ve A either been in Hazzard before or B talked to someone in Hazzard.

Now Bo and Luke knew that she was too old for them. Come on, an eighteen and sixteen year old? Oh yeah, too old for them two. However, Uncle Jesse would take a switch to the both of them if they didn’t help this person.

So naturally, Bo pulled up the CB receiver. He was ready to help this woman. “Breaker, Breaker, this is the General Lee calling the UFO car, you got a handle, come back?” Bo said over the CB.

“Howdy General Lee, this is Mustang Sally calling back to y’all. I see you’re the Han but who’s your pedal meddler come back?” Sally replied. Alright, for y’all who really don’t know your CB terminology a Han is a helper or a passenger.

“Actually we’re the Lost Sheep one and two.”

“I can see two young lambs in there. Your vessel must be General Lee. Nice pick, come back.”

“Thank you ma’am.”

“So which one’s which.”

“Come again?”

“Who is the lost sheep one and who is the lost sheep two?”

“I am the two ‘cause I was born second. My pedal meddler is number one, come back.”

“I see, I was wonderin’, can y’all help me?”

“Sure darlin’ what do ya need?”

“Do you know how to get to the Bear Cave? Or are y’all truly lost sheep?” For all that don’t know what a bear cave is, that is the police station.

“Well follow us Mustang Sally, we’ll show you the way.”

“That’s a big 10-4 and out.”

“This is Bo Peep calling lost sheep. If you show where it is, I win the race, come back,” Daisy cut in on the CB.

“This is lost sheep two, we take the bet with you. Now we’ll wash them dishes. Back it down about ten miles or so. I don’t want ol’ Roscoe giving you a bear bite.”

“Roscoe, give me a bear bite? Like he could catch me to do so. Anyway, Roger and out Lost sheep two.”

Bo put the CB down. “Do you think she’ll get a ticket?” Bo questioned his cousin.

“Daisy? Get a ticket? Hmm, come on Bo she’s a Duke. When was the last time she had a ticket?” Luke questioned.


“Exactly, which is more than I can say for you.”

“Look, the last time the tire went flat. What was I supposed to say to Roscoe, forgive me for speeding? Give me a minute while I change my tire? Like that would work.”

“I still can’t believe that girl wants to visit the police station. I mean who wants to meet the Hazzard law?”

“Unless she’s in some sort of trouble.” Luke snapped his fingers. “What? You have that look in your eye again Luke.”

“What look?”

“Where you understand something—well and then somehow we get in trouble.”

“She’s the new sheriff.”

“I thought Roscoe was the Sheriff.”

“He is the Sheriff. However, she’s the partner Roscoe was mopping about.” Bo finally had the look of clarity on his face. “I can’t believe you didn’t remember that.”

“Oh that was two weeks ago.” Bo opened the glove box and pulled out some peanuts. “I have had a lot happen since then.”

“Yeah like Elli-Mae’s father shooting at you?”

“Well I didn’t mean for the kiss to go that long.” Bo stuck some peanuts in his mouth. He chewed them up real well as he smiled. Yes folks you better believe it, that was some kiss.

“Uh huh, did you explain that to him?”

“Didn’t have time, too busy running from the shotgun.” Luke laughed as he shook his head. “Hey, you would be running too.” Luke turned into town and stopped in front of the police station. Bo quickly got out and opened the door for her.

“That’s mighty nice of you lost sheep two. Not many gentlemen left in the world,” Mustang Sally commented.

“Ah—my name is Bo. Over there is my cousin Luke. We’s Duke boys,” Bo answered her.

“Good because my name ain’t exactly Mustang Sally.”

“I kinda figured that.” Luke slid out of the car and walked over to them. “What is your name?”

“Sally Hunter.” Bo put out his hand. She clasped it and shook tightly.

“Quite the grip there.”

“Thank you, I could teach you how to master yours.”

“Oh come on Miss Sally, I am good at the grip.” She winked at Luke.

“Does he talk?” Luke smiled. He looked openly at Sally Hunter as he normally did when he met a new person. She had light brown hair with highlights all through it. Sally had these beautiful blue eyes.

“I talk Ma’am,” Luke expressed, he pushed back his chestnut hair.

“Ah the dead have spoken. Now, I am here for a meeting with Boss Hogg and my new partner.”

“Before you go, where are you goanna be staying.”

“At the boarding house.”

“Uncle Jesse would never accept that. You can stay with us while you’re here.”

“You want a total stranger to stay in your house?”

“Uncle Jesse likes all kinds of company. He doesn’t mind that you’re a stranger. Anyone is family to him,” Bo cut in.

“I see.”

“He would tan our hides if we didn’t bring ya home.”


“Oh yeah. You seem like nice people.”

“Besides, you need some kin,” Luke added.

“You know, I used to have kin in this area but they all moved to Oklahoma to be near us,” Sally commented. See? I knew that she was here a few times. “I haven’t been here in so long I didn’t even remember where town was.”

“It’ll come back to you.”

“Well I tell you what, you take my car over there. Then y’all can come and pick me up after work. How does that sound?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“You know, I was worried about coming to Hazzard County, now I think it is goanna be alright.”

“We feel honored to have you with us.”

“Thanks Luke, you’re a real charmer for a kid.”

“You think I am a charmer, talk to my cousin over there. Women love him.”

“I bet.” Bo smiled and winked. He walked over to her car. “Oh Bo, you’re goanna need these.” Bo turned around just as Sally threw her keys to him. Bo caught them though I wonder how.

“Thank you,” Bo mumbled.

“See you two after work.”

“Alright,” Luke replied. Now I wonder what she’s goanna think of our Hazzard department of police. I guess we’ll have to stick around to find out.


Roscoe was sitting at his desk filling out the paper work. Typing away and printing out reports. He always made doubles incase the computers crashed. I think that is smart. No matter how wonderful technology is, it can still break.

That’s when he saw her standing there. Sally Hunter, eyes of sapphire blue. Roscoe couldn’t help but look into them. He couldn’t believe how beautiful a set of eyes could be. Hers seemed to bat to a time.

Sally had beautiful hair. Hair floating lightly as she flicked her hair. That brown hair with the blonde highlights was natural and you could tell that one. Roscoe seem perplexed with every movement this Sally Hunter made.

Of course Miss Sally wondered about the Sheriff, especially as his eyes widened. I would wonder too if someone I had never met before was staring at me in such a fashion.

You know what though? Roscoe was over his head. He already felt great affection for Sally though he couldn’t understand why. You wouldn’t think it could happen so fast but it was.

Roscoe was head over heels in love. I don’t mean the kind that you see in High School. I mean the type of love that lasts. Something that I haven’t seen in Roscoe ever, love that is. I have never seen him look at anyone like this.

Have you ever heard of love at first sight? I think that’s what I’m seeing now. He seems to be taken with her. From her head right down to her cherry pumps, he likes every bit of her. She wore a white dress with a rose print on it. Yep definitely love at first sight.

Well I saw it with Enos. Young Deputy Strait looks at Daisy like my papa looked at my mama. Enos’ eyes were fully engaged on her. Daisy seemed not to understand what his eyes were saying to her but she shrugged it off. One day, I know Daisy Duke will understand.

Just like Sally will understand. She would know how Roscoe felt about her. Not only that, Sally might just feel the same way about him. You never know. Love is a strange and powerful thing.

“Hello, are you Sheriff Coltrane?” Sally asked. As she spoke, he seemed to melt where he was. Roscoe’s eyes lit right up. He was typing but it seemed like he didn’t know what he was typing. “Are you Sheriff Coltrane?”

“Yes, I am Sheriff Roscoe Pervis Coltrane—ah the third. You must be Miss Sally Hunter. Ah…it is nice to meet you,” Roscoe finally answered.

“That’s quite a name, Sheriff.”


“I don’t blame you for your name. Why are you saying sorry?”

“I should have given you just the short version.”

“You mean the reader’s digest version?”

“Exactly.” Roscoe cleared his throat. He swallowed hard. “You may call me Roscoe.”


“Sounds better when you say my name than when Boss does.” Roscoe cringed at his statement. He had no idea what to say around this woman. “I mean, you have a pretty voice—Miss Hunter.” Sally began laughing.

“You know, if I am goanna be on a first name basis with you, I think you should call me by mine.”


“Yes, really.”

“I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t feel uncomfortable in the least.” Sally took out her chap stick and rubbed the soft stick on her velvet lips.

“It wouldn’t—ah—be very nice if you felt that way.” She rubbed her lips together. Roscoe pulled at his shirt. “Boy it is hot in here.”

“It is only fair after all Roscoe.”

“What’s fair?” Sally began laughing. She shook her head in fun. Sally stopped laughing and smiled.

“You, Roscoe, you calling me Sally.”

“Oh, right.”

“Personally, I think it is easier working together when you call your fellow member of staff by their name.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“So you will call me Sally?”

“Yes ma’am…I mean Sally.” Roscoe began to play with the ring that sat on his right ring finger. Sally smiled. She looked up at him, wondering about this Roscoe P. Coltrane. He seemed like a gentlemen. A little bit nervous but otherwise all right.

“So where can I get a uniform? And where can I find Boss Hogg?”

“Two wonderful questions.” Enos walked in the room. He looked at Sally with big eyes.

“Howdy, I’m Enos Strait,” Enos announced.

“I’m Sally Hunter. You must be the deputy. Very nice to meet you. How is your shooting?” Sally replied.

“Pretty good ma’am.”

“Maybe later we can go to the range and practice?”

“Sure, sounds fun.”

“Uh…maybe I should practice with her,” Roscoe cut in. He swallowed hard. “You can take her to get in a uniform Enos.”

“Yes sir.” Enos smiled as he began to walk away. He suddenly noticed that she wasn’t behind him. “Follow me, Miss Sally.”

“Of course, Enos you lead on. While you’re at it, you can give me a tour of the jail,” Sally replied.

“Sure thing, that’s my favorite part. I love tours. Possum on a gum bush! That would be even more fun. You sure have good ideas.”

“You think so?”

“Oh I know so Miss Sally.” Sally laughed and patted Enos on the head.

“You’re funny you know that?” She walked with him slowly. Sally looked all about. She wanted to learn this place all over again.

Roscoe stood there shaking his head. Now you can just imagine how Roscoe was feeling. He thought he was a total failure. All he was trying to do was leave a good impression.

Poor Roscoe really didn’t know what to do at first. He sat and he sat. He swiveled a bit in his chair. Roscoe snapped his fingers. He walked into his office at a snail’s pace. You know, still worried about the impression.

Roscoe slammed the door. He walked over to his desk. Roscoe picked up the phone. He sat down and called the only person who he trusted with advice and lived in town, Daisy Duke. You know, it is funny, the Dukes are his enemies yet he talks with them the most.

“Hello, Duke farm, Jesse speaking,” Jesse said as he answered the phone.

“Jesse, I need Daisy quick,” Roscoe replied.

“Is this about my boys?”

“No Jesse, make me happy, I have to talk to Daisy. Please, this is important.”

“Alright Roscoe, hold on.”

“Okay, thank you Jesse, I’ll never forget this.”

“I’m sure you will, Roscoe. I am sure you will.”

“No really.”

“Will you let me go now?”

“Sure thing.” Jesse put the phone down. Roscoe tapped his fingers on the desk slowly. He began to go faster and faster as the time went on. It took about two minutes to find Daisy.

“Hello?” Daisy said.

“Oh thank goodness Daisy I so needed to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“How does it feel when you’re in love?” Daisy crocked an eyebrow.

“Haven’t you ever been in love before?”

“Not really…mama wouldn’t let me talk to girls. Now that I’m a man, I can do almost anything I want.”

“Does your heart start a poundin’ when she’s in the room?”

“Uh huh…”

“Do you feel like nothing you can say ever works?”

“Yes, I feel like that Daisy.”

“Do you think about her every second?”

“Well so far.”

“How long have you known her Roscoe?”

“About—ah 20 minutes.” Daisy began to laugh. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, that just means you have it bad. You’re over the top in love.”

“What do you do about it? I really can’t stop thinking about her. All I do is think about her. I don’t know how to make it better. So tell me Daisy, how do you cure it?” Daisy laughed again. She shook her head.

“Roscoe, there is no cure!”

“You mean I’m goanna be stuck this way?”

“Yup, sorry, there’s not too much I can do for you.”

“Man, Sally Hunter, what a beauty.” Daisy smiled. Roscoe was just beaming. “I love every bit of her personality. She even treats Enos nice.”

“That’s who you have the crush on? Sally Hunter? Shoot Roscoe, she is staying at our place until she leaves.”

“She is?”

“Yeah, you could come over to dinner tonight. You know, to get to know her better.”

“I couldn’t impose like that.”

“Oh who says it is imposing? Roscoe, it is in the name of love. Anyway, I’ll see you tonight. Don’t you dare assume that you’re overwhelming us with your presence!”

“I am still worried about it Daisy.”

“Uncle Jesse loves having company at dinner time. Gives him more conversation.”

“Okay, thanks Daisy.”

“Alright bye Roscoe.”


“Bye now Daisy. Thanks for everything.” Daisy laughed.

“You’re welcome Roscoe. Now you have fun at work today.”

“I’ll try.”


“Alright Daisy.”

“Bye now.”

“Goodbye.” They both hung up the phone. Roscoe sat back in his chair. He sighed softly. Now I wonder what’s goanna happen tonight? Well first we’s gotta worry about the right now.


Well, after meeting Boss Hogg and the whole shebang, Roscoe and Sally went out to the shooting range. Well it wasn’t much of a shooting range. Just a few tin cans, glass bottles and wooden signs that hadn’t been used since well before this century.

Sally looked at her new gun. It was a semiautomatic. She raised her eyebrows. “You want to shoot first?” She asked. Roscoe shrugged.

“Sure, why now,” Roscoe said, hesitantly. He shot six rounds. Roscoe clipped two of the cans.

“Not bad, did you ever go to the academy?”

“No, I was elected because my Daddy was a Sheriff.”

“Well your shot wasn’t bad.” Sally picked up one of the cans. She threw it up in the air. Sally hit the can six times before it hit the ground. “I was in the SWAT team for a while.”

“Why did you quit?”

“Well Roscoe, for personal reasons.”

“Are you afraid to share with me?” Sally shrugged. She grabbed a piece of paper with a dark black silhouette on it. She posted it on the sign. She walked back.

“Not afraid, I just don’t like talking about it with anyone.”

“Why not?”

“Oh those were tough times.” She shot again six times. Sally walked over to the paper. She pulled it up. All the shots went through the one hole. She dug them out with her pocket knife.

“Oh yeah?”

“I worked hard to get the spot in SWAT and then suddenly…I don’t know, I just couldn’t do it.”

“What shoot people?”

“No, shoot to take people right out.”

“What did you do?”

“Oh for a while I worked in a daycare—after taking a bunch of courses. I thought to myself, I should help them while their young.”

“Kids can nurse back to health even the largest wounds. I know that from experience.”

“It’s funny though, the job never really left me. You know, police work that is. No matter what I did, police work was my life.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I could see people robbing a store before they got there. I noticed car jackers like they were wearing a sign. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“You must be good at your job.”

“Yeah, I was promoted pretty quickly when I first started. Youngest in the force to become a detective. They saw my abilities to shoot and they of course wanted me to be in SWAP.”

“You know, that’s an honor.”

“Yeah…I thought it was. After SWAP and the daycare, I hired myself out to do police work.”

“That would have been fun.”

“It was.”

“Did it satisfy your needs?” Sally sat down on the stump. She looked up at Roscoe.

“It still wasn’t the same. I worked for a bunch of pansies who wanted to find lost kitties. Well that is until your Boss Hogg called me.”

“What made you want to come here?” Roscoe sat down beside her. He folded his hands on his lap.

“I don’t know exactly, something pushed me to come here. Maybe the fact it was real police work. Not just searches for cheating lovers and such.”

“That would bore the heck out of anyone.” Sally shook her head and stood up.

“You know, I never really told this to anyone before. You’re really easy to talk to.” Roscoe smiled. He looked deep into her eyes. She seemed to like him as well which was neat. “Anyway, be better get back to work.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Roscoe got up and put a hand out for Sally. She took it with care and then got up.

“Thank you Roscoe, that was very kind of you.”

“You’re welcome Sally.” She giggled softly, smiling at him. Sally turned away from Roscoe. She dusted off her pants and stretched. Roscoe couldn’t help but smile.

“You know, I think I am going to like Hazzard County. So far, everyone has been so nice to me.”

“Well that’s good.” They began to walk towards Roscoe’s police car. “You know, Hazzard has always been my favorite place.”

“Well I like what I have seen so far.” Sally got in the driver’s seat. “Do you normally patrol right about now?”

“You got it, Sally. You know, you catch on pretty fast.” Sally started up the car.

“Well I have got a good teacher.” Sally winked at Roscoe. Now friends, I bet that made Roscoe’s heart melt just a little bit more.

“Thanks.” Now this is a pretty sight don’t you think? Roscoe actually found someone to love. I just hope she loves him back. That is the hardest part about love after all. You know I loved someone once, and when she didn’t love me back, dang did I feel it.

Sometimes people don’t feel the same way. That hurts more than anything. Daisy for instance does like Enos but really doesn’t see him in that way. She just has never seen him in that way. However, things can change with the drop of a hat pin.

You never do know what’s around the corner. For Roscoe, a girl of his dreams could be with him always


Weeks rolled by, a whole month of Bo’s summer vacation. Bo and Luke seemed to play it all out. They worked very hard and they had fun times. The law didn’t chase them one bit. This seemed pretty weird for them. Bo and Luke didn’t mind the silence one bit.

Evidently, there were people in the Hazzard jail. When Sally and Roscoe put their heads together, they made an amazing police team. They solved various cases together. Enos tagged along for the ride of course.

Boss’ plans had been put on a stand still. This of course made poor ol’ Boss Hogg angry. He loved his little schemes. He even loved the Dukes foiling them.

He still wanted to keep Sally around for a little bit longer. After all, Cooter and Dodger had less police vehicle maintenance to do. That didn’t please those two. The Davenport Brothers did really well in Hazzard County.

Roscoe had been visiting the Dukes more and more. He would leave notes for Sally to find. He left them anonymous so that it wouldn’t ruin their work relationship. Sally loved those though.

Each time this wonderful person would find one, she would read it over and over again. Sally would lean against the wall and marvel over how wonderful it truly was. Each letter was something special.

That morning, she ran into Daisy’s room. “Daisy you have to hear this,” Sally commented. She looked at her best friend with eagerness.

“Good morning to you too,” Daisy laughed. She sat up just a little bit. Daisy motioned Sally to sit on the bed. Sally ran and jumped on the bed. It moved Daisy around something terrible.

“Oh what a wonderful day, Daisy—my admirer sent me another note.” Daisy knew who they were from. Why? Well she set up the whole thing. I mean, Daisy gave Roscoe the idea.

“You want me to read it to you?”

“Oh yeah, I wouldn’t miss the daily letters.” Sally cleared her throat.

“My dearest Sally, every time I see you, my heart completely melts. Something about you always pushes for me to know more about you. I seem to want to be around you all the time. Your hair is so beautiful and your eyes always speak to me.”


“Oh there’s more.”


“Oh yeah, there is more.” Sally moved her shoulders up and down, full of excitement. She looked down at the letter.

“Come on Sally, I can’t take the suspense.”

“I hope one day I get to see you in the sunset so that it becomes even more beautiful than it already is. To see you by light, I wait for you, your secret admirer.” Daisy smiled as she let out a wild yawn.

“Oh excuse me.” Sally laughed as she rolled onto her stomach. She began to kick her legs. “You look so happy.”

“Oh Daisy, I have never been more happy. You Dukes have been wonderful. You know, Bo or Luke drive me to work everyday. I get to be surrounded by all of these beautiful animals.”

“And have an admirer.”

“Oh he makes me feel—I don’t know, like I am important.”

“You are important.”

“You know, I don’t think that Boss Hogg likes me too much.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Simple, Boss really doesn’t like honest people.” Daisy began to laugh once again. She shrugged.

“Boss hasn’t been honest since the day he was born. You know, I don’t think I have ever had a day when I have seen him draw up an honest plan to make money.” Daisy snapped her fingers. “You know, there was this one time…”

“Oh Daisy, I don’t mind ol’ Boss.”


“He’s my employer though. Soon I know I am goanna have to get another job.”

“Are you goanna get one in and around here?” Sally shrugged.

“I don’t want to go back to daycare. That would be the only job available if I stayed in Hazzard. Although it was fun, I wouldn’t want to stay there.”

“You said you loved the little children.”

“I know I did. It just isn’t in my blood.” Daisy sighed, she thought of Roscoe. He would be heartbroken if Sally left. She had done so much for him. “I don’t know what to do Daisy. I really love it here.”

“I’m stumped as well Sally.”

“I want to stay but I know I can’t.”

“Ain’t there anything else you could do in Hazzard? Maybe start a farm.” Sally laughed and shook her head no. “Well you did say you loved animals.”

“Yeah I do but there’s no adventure in it.”

“You could always help Bo and Luke on their many adventures. That would keep you occupied.”

“You know, the state police have offered me a job. They saw my work record and were impressed.” Sally grabbed a piece of her hair and began to play with it. She looked up at Daisy.

“You could do that.”

“Yeah maybe I could go for that.” Sally rolled over on her back. She stared at the ceiling carefully. “At least I would see everyone once in a while.”

“Sally, whatever you want is what you should do.” Sally smiled. She couldn’t believe how wonderful Daisy had been to her.

“I never thought in my wildest dreams I would have such a good friend. You’re so young but you have so much to offer. Don’t forget that okay?”

“I won’t.” Daisy began laughing. She shook her head and let out a happy sigh.

“What is it?”

“Well considering you’re having such a hard time with your problems, you sure are good at making a person feel good.” Sally began laughing.

“Daisy, you deserve to feel good. You’re an amazing person. You do so much for your family and for everyone around you.”

“What about you Sally? Look what you have done?” Sally smiled as she sighed.

“Well I have got to go to work, you have a great day, Daisy. You enjoy your fun time.”

“I will.” Now let’s hope she finds out Roscoe’s the one before she does anything to irrational. My goodness folks, I am just hoping Miss Sally stays another day. Don’t you?


Now as we look inside the Sheriff’s department, all you can see is Miss Sally, answering phones. Roscoe was a little late today for work. This was a pretty unusual thing for him. I mean Roscoe loved his job. He loved coming to work every morning.

Boss Hogg was in his office, counting his millions or lack thereof. He was trying to determine just how much he had lost since this gal came into Hazzard County. Now that doesn’t take him long.

Have you ever seen Boss Hogg count money? It is like watching a steaming hot knife roll through butter. Actually, I think he’s faster than that. Boss Hogg is like superman when it comes to counting money.

What did he determine? Well simple, yes he is loosing money from every scheme he has ever had. However, he is keeping money because there ain’t so many repairs on cars. Boss’ new Cadillac hasn’t been ruined yet either.

We had better get back to the latest phone call that is rolling in Hazzard. I don’t mean a big truck either. Oh yeah, this one is pretty important. Something big is about to go down in Hazzard County. Nope, can’t say it straight out. Why? Well it ain’t as fun that way.

There’s Sally talking on the phone. Ain’t she a beautiful sight? Dang, I love looking at her. She is quite the pretty woman. Even in that uniform she looks great. Sally Hunter, one dang good cop.

“Thank you—yeah, we’ll keep our eyes out for him, thanks Detective, bye,” Sally said over the phone as Roscoe walked in. He looked at her, smiling. Sally walked over to the fax machine as it started up.

“What is up?” Roscoe asked. Sally looked over at Roscoe. She had a blank look on her face. “I know that look, Sally, something is going on.”

“Oh Roscoe Coltrane, you better believe something is going on.” Sally straightened out her pants and put her hat back on. She tipped it slightly.

“Well can I know since it is my county.” Sally nodded softly. Roscoe smiled.

“Of course you can.”

“Thank you.”

“Roscoe, it seems we have some company in the county. I ain’t talking about the first-class kind of friendship either. We have someone here that could blow everything in Hazzard.”

“Oh? Now who would that be?”

“Try public enemy number two. Jason Nash.”

“Wooo-jit, you mean THE Jason Nash?”

“Yep, the one who is wanted in nearly every state.” Roscoe’s eyes widened.

“Except for Georgia.”

“So it stands for now but you know, they suspect that he’s here.” Sally pulled out the wanted poster. She handed it to Roscoe. “They want us to keep an eye on the bank and for him.”

“Well with you by my side of course I can.” Roscoe sighed as he turned away.

“Roscoe, are you alright?”

“Sally, there is something I want to tell you.” Roscoe walked further away from her. “I just can’t bring myself to look at you while I say it.”

“What is it?”

“I feel so stupid.”


“I’m your secret admirer.” Sally’s eyes widened. She shook her head. “I have been sending you the flowers and poems and little itty bitty letters. It was all me.”


“Well I thought you should know. I am a man and it is my business to be straightforward with you. I like you Sally Hunter. I love the fact that you are so nice to children.”

“Oh Roscoe…”

“I love it when you drive the car.” Sally’s head lowered. She crossed her arms. “I absolutely love how you help people cross the street. Those ladies appreciate it…right along with the male seniors, Khee.”

“But Roscoe…”

“I think it is so funny when you sneeze, you got the cutest little look on your face before you do it. I like everything about you. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to go on loving you.”

“Roscoe, you deserve better than me.”

“There’s no one better than you.” Tears filled Sally’s eyes. She shook her head.

“There are a lot better girls out there for me Roscoe. Trust me, I have met better.”

“There can never be another person that would even come close to you.”

“Roscoe!” She bit on her bottom lip. Now folks I think Roscoe is right but this young lady doesn’t believe so. She turned Roscoe around and looked into his eyes.

“Trust me when I say there are much better people for you than me.” Sally sighed and shook her head no. “You know, I think you’re a—a swell guy but…I don’t know, I don’t think that I could love you the way you need.”

“It’s because of me that you don’t love me. I know it.”

“No, it has nothing to do with you. It is all me.”

“Girls say that to men all the time.” Roscoe swallowed hard. He pushed his hat back slightly. “They say it when they want someone more manly. Well Sally Hunter, I can be that man to you.”

“Roscoe, that’s not it.”

“I know it is Sally, I will prove to you what a real man is. I knew poetry wouldn’t win you over but I tried anyway.”

“Oh Roscoe, this is out of hand.” Sally pulled out a Kleenex and wiped her eyes. She sniffled a little, staring at him. “I don’t want you to do something stupid.”

“Don’t worry I’ll catch him by myself.” Roscoe ran out the room fast. Sally ran after him but he was one step ahead of her.

“Roscoe! Come back, Roscoe!” He got into the car and started it up. She slammed on the windows. “Let me in Roscoe!”


“Come on this isn’t funny.” The car drove away. Sally began crying. She didn’t know what to do. Sally walked back into the station and picked up the CB. “This is Sheriff Hunter calling Sheriff Coltrane, come in Sheriff Coltrane.” Sally waited for a few minutes. When he didn’t answer she sighed. Sally knew she needed help.

Now friends, Roscoe could be in real trouble. That was the one thing Sally didn’t want to happen. In her heart, she really cared about him. Sally thought about who could help her. As she thought about it, Sally had an idea.

She walked across the street to the Davenport Brother’s Garage. Cooter was working on a car and Dodger was on the phone with someone. Cooter looked up from the car.

“Why hello Sheriff Hunter you haven’t come to my garage in a while, ain’t this a surprise? What can I do fer ya?” Cooter questioned.

“Do you know where the Duke boys are?” Sally asked. Cooter nodded.

“Most likely driving, why?”

“I need their help. Roscoe’s gone searching for trouble and I know he’s over his head.”

“Call ‘em up on the CB.” Cooter grabbed the CB out of the car he was working on. He handed it to Sally.

“Breaker, Breaker, this is Mustang Sally calling the lost sheep, are ya out there, come back?” There was no answer. “This is Mustang Sally calling the lost sheep, come back if ya have your ears on, come on.”

“Must not be out there—look, I’ll keep workin’ on them. You need to get out there and find ol’ Roscoe. He may be a fair Sheriff but trouble lurking in his corner…oh man will find him fast.” Sally put the CB down.

“I have no wheels.”

“Call up your deputy.”

“I didn’t think of that.” Sally picked the CB back up. “Breaker one, this is Sheriff Hunter calling Deputy Strait are you in? Come back?”

“Howdy Sheriff Sally, I am here. What do you need, over?” Enos answered.

“I need your wheels, Sheriff Coltrane’s in trouble, repeat, Sheriff Coltrane’s in hot water.”

“Possum on a gum bush, I’ll be right over, Sheriff.”

“Okay Enos, you hurry up alright? Put the lights on. Don’t get in any accidents, just get here safely. 10-4 and out.”

“10-4 Sheriff, hold tight. I am on my way over. Don’t worry, Sheriff we’ll help the Sheriff, Sheriff. My ETA is about twenty minutes. I’m gone.”

That boy can be confusing can’t he? I tell ya, if I wasn’t used to Hazzard, that last conversation would be right over my head. Thank goodness for regular conversations in Hazzard.

Sally put the CB receiver down. She stared at Cooter. Her face was fully of desperation. She didn’t want anything to happen to ol’ Roscoe. She did care about him.

“What am I goanna do Cooter? What if something happens? Oh I’ll never forgive myself,” Sally mumbled. She shook her head, turning at the first sight of tears.

“You’re goanna hold tight and phone us up if y’all need help. Don’t worry your pretty little head, all will come out right,” Cooter replied.

“You think so Cooter? I am really worried about Roscoe. Now that Bo and Luke ain’t answering…”

“Oh Bo and Luke can handle themselves.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah.”

“What about Roscoe.”

“I was just getting to that.”

“I am worried about him.”

“As for Roscoe, I bet that he’ll be fine.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. He’s lived in Hazzard his whole life.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Well I am right. You gotta pick up something when you’re here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want Roscoe getting hurt. He is after a major criminal.”

“Trust me Sally, I have been here for a while now. If I know anything that is for sure, I know that ol’ Roscoe is out looking but he ain’t finding very much if you know what I mean.”

“I hope you’re right Cooter. I sure hope Cooter’s right too? Don’t you? I guess we’ll find out. So hang on to your snacks folks. Eat them sparingly ‘cause you don’t wanna miss this one, y’hear?


Now I bet you’re wondering why ol’ Bo and Luke ain’t answering the CB. That’s because they ain’t anywhere near General Lee. It is somewhat hard to answer a CB when you ain’t there, don’t you agree with me? Them two are out boar huntin’ and having a good time I must admit.

Well they were having fun until they saw a human silhouette out in the distance. Of course being the Bo and Luke that they are, them good ol’ boys had to figure out what was up. No one usually came out here to hunt except them.

Sure, there were the odd types who would come out. Like the ones who really do hunt for food. Other than that, nope, just the boys. This figure looked a little strange to them. Not like most people who would be hunting.

By the look of this silhouette, the gun was still in a holster. Now the boys knew there was only a select few that still even wore holsters in Hazzard County. Especially ones like that. Either this person was some sort of ranger or he was part of the Hazzard County law.

Personally, I think it is the second one of the two. Bo and Luke were about to fine out. They got close, and sure enough, it was Roscoe. Bo rolled his eyes.

Roscoe looked like a giant carrot in a pile of radishes. He stuck out pretty bad. Bo and Luke wondered what he was doing there. They didn’t turn him around just yet. Both boys were wondering just where he was headed.

Roscoe didn’t turn around at all. He kept his eye on the target. He kept bending over and getting back up. Luke took a look downwards. Sure enough there were some tracks.

They didn’t look like any cowboy boots. Which is what all three men wore…that is Roscoe, Bo and Luke. So Luke figured it wasn’t from them. Now Bo and Luke were really dang curious. Hey I would be too.

“Now Roscoe what are you doing here?” Bo questioned. Roscoe jumped at the sound of Bo’s voice.

“Would you get out of here you meddlesome Duke Boys, this is important police business,” Roscoe snapped.

“Why ain’t Sally with you then?” Luke asked.

“Well if you must know, my assistant and me ain’t exactly getting along. Now, I have lots of work to do. So if you’ll excuse me, I must be going now.” Roscoe kept walking further into the woods.

“I ain’t no expert, Roscoe but I don’t think that you’ll find traffic violators in there.” Bo began laughing at his cousin’s comment. Luke raised his eyebrows and smiled.

“Oh you think that’s funny Bo Duke?” Bo nodded softly as he stopped laughing. “Well guess what? I ain’t lookin’ for traffic violators, I am lookin’ for…” Roscoe looked both ways he pulled on Bo and Luke’s collar. “Public enemy number two.”

“Jason Nash? You’s searching out Jason Nash inside the woods?” Bo asked.

“In Hazzard County?” Luke questioned.

“Now Roscoe…that’s a little boneheaded.”

“What would public enemy want to do here?” Bo snapped his fingers. He had the look of clarity on his face.

“Get some shut eye?”

“I don’t quite get you cousin.”

“When everyone is after us what do we do?”

“Go and find somewhere to relax?”

“Exactly. What better place to relax than a small town with four people on the payroll?”

“Bo you’re brilliant.”

“Yeah Bo, you’re brilliant,” Roscoe added in. Bo and Luke stared at him for a minute. “Well he is ain’t he? Come on boys, can you help me look like a man?”

“Roscoe, we’re boar hunting not hunting for trouble.” Roscoe sighed.

“Come on Luke.”

“Look, for once we don’t have guns shooting our way and stuff. Now this guy is from the big times.”

“I know that Luke but I need your help.”

“Look Roscoe, it is Jason Nash. He ain’t like them bad guys in the cartoons we’s used to watch when we was kids. He ain’t got an ounce of restraint.”

“Luke you disappoint me,” Bo cut in. Luke stared at his cousin, confused at his statement. “We should help Roscoe.”

“Are you dippy, Bo? This ain’t a game of cops and robbers, this is real life.”

“Yeah and that scares you. Yer yella.”

“I ain’t yella. Don’t you dare tell me I’m yella for bein’ safe, Bo. Don’t you dare.”

“Oh I dare it, Luke because yer too yella for words. I ain’t ever met someone so yella in my life.” Luke growled at his cousin. “Luke what did we come here fer? Huh? What did we come to Hazzard fer?”

“We came because my Dad dropped us off like suckers.”

“No, why’d we stay?” Luke rolled his eyes. He shook his head, crossing his arms.

“I ain’t playin’ your games.”

“No, No, Luke why’d we stay in Hazzard?”


“Yes sir, we came for a little adventure. We didn’t come to be snookered into stayin’ in a corner. Now this dude has invaded our county, I say we fight back. Are you with me Roscoe?”

“Yeah Bo, I am with ya all the way,” Roscoe replied.

“How ‘bout you Luke or are ya still too yella?” Bo tapped his foot impatiently.

“I’m in,” Luke muttered.

“Then let’s hop to it. I need some arrows and dynamite and a lot of guts.”

“Would you like brains with that order?”

“Nah, that’s why I have you.”

“Don’t you ever listen to that little voice inside of you that says this ain’t a good idea?”

“Yeah, there was this one time…”



“This is no time to play.” Luke glared at his cousin evilly. “You do realize we could be killed out here today.”

“I was just kiddin’.”

“There ain’t time to kid around. Now grow up for five minutes. Just five minutes so I can think this through. You know, so we don’t get killed today.”

Now ain’t that a display of stupidity? Bo, Luke and Roscoe are risking their lives running out into the crowd of horrendous trees. They are about to go through a gigantic journey.

Why? Well they’re going to catch Jason Nash. Now this being something Roscoe wants, he ain’t too worried—for now. You know though, that’ll all change. This ain’t a movie, this is real life folks. In real life you got to expect that something’s goanna happen.

Now friends, I wouldn’t have even though about going at all. I would have cowered in my little corner and stayed where it is safe. However, this is a crusade for love. Roscoe hopes to look like a man.

Why are the Duke boys in it? Well Bo figures that they can keep Roscoe safe. They need a clean conscience. Leaving Roscoe P. Coltrane to fend for himself ain’t exactly goanna keep him safe. Them boys are in for some big trouble, ya think?


Now Cooter had a promise to keep. He told Miss Sally he would raise them Duke Boys. Now considering where they are, do you think they’ll answer? I don’t think so. Yes, they went back for the arrows but they had no time to talk to Cooter.

Bo and Luke were too concerned about loosing the trail. Besides, Luke figured it would be better to fight these boys during the daylight than at night. Guns at night are a very dangerous business.

Cooter didn’t give up though. Y’see, not only was he keeping a promise, he was worried about his friends. Now longing for your friends is a hard thing. Cooter wanted them to be safe…as safe as they could be.

Well he didn’t know what they were doing, did he now? If Cooter knew, he would be out there with his shotgun in two shakes of a lambs tail. For now, Cooter is stuck trying to find his friends.

“Breaker one, Breaker one I might be crazy but I ain’t dumb, CRAAAZY Cooter comin’ at ya, I am lookin’ for Duke Boys on the Hazzardnet, come back,” Cooter said over the CB. Dodger rolled his eyes.

“Face it bro, they ain’t answerin’ ya. There’s nothing you can really do about it. You have been at it for an hour. I swear you’s goanna loose your voice. I suggest you take a break,” Dodger commented as he threw his brother an apple. Cooter caught it and took a bite.

“Breaker one, Breaker one I might be crazy but I ain’t dumb, CRAAAZY Cooter comin’ at ya, I am lookin’ for Duke Boys on the Hazzardnet, come back…I ain’t playin’ Duke boys now give me a holler.”

“Oh they’re with Roscoe. Relax, already.” Now I told you ol’ Dodger was smart didn’t I? I just knew he would get it before anyone else.

“Breaker one, Breaker one I might be crazy but I ain’t dumb, CRAAAZY Cooter comin’ at ya, come on Duke boys, give me a holler if you can.”

“Cooter you’re wasting your time. You know it ain’t goanna work. If they are out there, Bo and Luke are chasing trouble and goanna grab it with both hands.” Cooter put down the CB receiver. “Now you’re listening to reason.”

“Would Bo and Luke ever give up on me if I were in trouble?”


“Well, you know what Dodger, I have never given up on them. These boys are tough and smart. They need help though every once in a while.”

“Your point is…?”

“Dodger tell me, do you know how many times have Bo and Luke saved our bacons?”

“More times than I can count.”

“There you go, now it is our turn.”

“You’re diving the public crazy.”

“Well let them go crazy, it is about time we find someone crazier than me.”

“You are nuts.”

“I know that.”

“No, you should clam up before someone comes over and smashes your CB.” Cooter picked the CB back up. He cleared his throat. Dodger rolled his eyes.

“Breaker one, Breaker one I might be crazy but I ain’t all that dumb, CRAAAZY Cooter comin’ at ya, I am looking for the lost sheep, that’s right, the lost sheep. I know I have been squawkin’ this for a while but that’s who I am looking for. Would the lost sheep give me a blast on the radio, come on.”

“Cooter, you are driving the whole of Hazzardnet insane. Now, why don’t we sit down and think this through. Maybe we could help someone without annoying them.” Cooter growled. He shook his head at his brother. “Well it is true. If you keep calling for the Dukes and they’re not answering then what is the point?”

“Breaker one, Breaker one I might be crazy but I don’t have time to play dumb, CRAAAZY Cooter comin’ at ya I am lookin’ for the lost sheep, Bo Peep or Shepard. Can one of y’all answer come back?”

“This is Shepard calling Crazy C, what is up and why ain’t my boys answerin’ come on?” Jesse answered.

“Me oh my, I am glad to hear your voice Jesse. Is Bo Peep knockin’ anywhere in my area, come back?”

“Bo Peep is with me, Crazy Cooter now come back to the regularly scheduled program.”

“Do you know what’s the 20 of the sheep sheep, over?” Now for all those who don’t know what the number 20 is when it comes to CB talk well let me educate you. A 20 is your location.

“Yeah, they went huntin’ but they should have been back by now. Where do you think they’s hidin’ Cooter, come back?”

“I have no clue—Dodger thinks they’s with Roscoe. Roscoe is out lookin’ for public enemy number two. So I assume they’s in harm’s way or trouble or somethin’ like that. Now Uncle Jesse, I think we need to go lookin’ for them.”

“Well that’s an affirmative on my ring, I’ll check the usual spots for huntin’. You check the gas stations from there to here.”

“10-4 Uncle Jesse.”

“I ain’t your Uncle Jesse but 10-4 all the same.”

“Bo Peep this is Mustang Sally come in,” Sally said over the CB. Daisy took the CB from her uncle.

“This is Bo Peep, go ahead,” Daisy replied.

“I’ll search around town for them.” Daisy smiled.

“10-4 and out.” Well this is turning into a real parade, don’t you think? I can’t wait to see the end results. After all, no one really know where they are.

I wonder what they’ll do when they all find out Bo, Luke and Roscoe really are in the woods? You know, it is funny how sometimes we miss the most obvious things.

You know, if they were going hunting then wouldn’t they still be there? Roscoe magically bumping into the Dukes is pretty funny. Well then again, the Dukes found him. I think it was by providence that he was found at all.

Now they’re goanna look for trouble with ol’ Roscoe but might be able to keep him in the clear when it comes to safety. Which would make everyone happy; after all, as Boss always says, it is hard to find a good Sheriff.

At least with Roscoe on board they know who they’re dealing with. Bo and Luke like surprises but of course some things should be clear. Without those apparent things to balance off Hazzard it would be hard, don’t you think?


Bo was walking leaned over. He had his arrow and Bow in his hands. Now it was a funny sight. Luke wondered just what the heck his cousin was doing. After all, Luke was in the front checking out the tracks. Bo looked back at Roscoe.

“SHHHH, SHHHH! Be ver-wee ver-wee quiet. HAH Ha HAH ha HAH. I’m huntin’ Pub-wick en-oh-mies hah ha hah ha hah,” Bo said, in his best Elmer Fudd impression.

Roscoe snickered softly. He was scared but wasn’t about to let on. Now if you’re trying to be a man would you let it on? I don’t think so.

“Bo would you be quiet? What if he hears us?” Luke whispered.

“Oh come on Luke, there’s one of him and three of us,” Bo said normally.

“He could have a gang by now, you nitwit!”

“Maybe he does and maybe he doesn’t.”

“Well it is more likely that he does.”

“I have taken on lots of guys by myself before.”

“Uh huh.”

“Sometimes when they have had guns. They had lots of weapons.”

“Yeah Bo I know.”

“I took on three last week.”

“You did and you won.”

“You know how good I am at fighting.”

“You’re not the best at fighting. I have had to pull you out of tight spots.”

“I beat Manny’s girl and you lost. I just remember Lindsey beating on you. You were laying on the ground and she was just fine.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“But it is so much fun.”

“Yeah for you maybe.” Luke turned from his cousin. Bo began to laugh as he shook his head.

“Oh come on Luke, it was great. Besides, you have grown a bit since then. Now you’re out of high school so you have some knowledge behind ya.” Luke turned back to his cousin.

“You have taken on plenty of guys I will admit.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment. You have done okay for yourself. You shouldn’t get cocky though.”

“Why not? If I am good at what I do then why shouldn’t I be proud?”

“Well have you taken on guys with automatic weapons?” Bo swallowed hard. “Uh huh, that’s what I thought you would say.”

“Well we have dynamite.”

“Yeah and I have my gun,” Roscoe added.

“Why doesn’t that comfort me?” Luke questioned.

Meanwhile, by the General Lee, Jesse and Daisy stood near. Daisy looked at the Hazzard police car which was twenty feet away. You can imagine the thoughts rolling through their heads.

“This is Shepard calling the search party. I have got a visual of the General Lee. I can see three sets of cowboy boots and one set of—running shoe marks. We assume that’s the baddie. We’re going after them. I am armed. Cooter, lead the search party here,” Jesse said over the CB.

“This is Bullet Dodger giving a 10-4 to the Shepard, we’ll bring them over. Come on over to the cross roads and we’ll show you from there,” Dodger commented.

“10-4 Dodger ol’ buddy,” Enos said.

“10-4 Dodge, I’m on my way over to lead a little Convoy, Hazzard style,” Cooter replied.

“Uncle Jesse, do you think we’ll find them?” Daisy questioned. Jesse shrugged, not knowing exactly what to say to his niece. Those boys could be in big trouble. He put down the CB receiver.

“Well I can’t offer tons of hope but what I can say is we’ll try. Now if we do our best, we won’t have much to worry about,” Jesse replied.

“I’m really worried about them.”

“I know you are Daisy, I am just as worried.”

“How do you keep so calm?”

“I ain’t calm at all. Inside I am screaming.” Daisy looked at her uncle carefully. Her eyebrows lowered with confusion. “Daisy, sometimes, I put on a brave face.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”


“Then it makes me feel better that you feel the same way.”

“You know what I think Daisy?”


“They’re goanna be okay. That’s the truth.”

“You think so?”

“I don’t think, I know so…Bo and Luke seem to always get out of these things. I don’t know how. Heck, I don’t know how we got out of things when I was younger.” Daisy smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right Uncle Jesse. We always seem to get out of the tough spots.”

“Yeah, because we’re Dukes—us Dukes always know when to move forward and when to stay far behind. Bo and Luke are doing something a little crazy but I can’t blame them.” Daisy nodded.

“So let’s go and help my crazy cousins.”

“Alright, Daisy girl, we’re off.”

“Alright Uncle Jesse.” Well now we know the Calvary is on its way but will everyone be able to help the Duke Boys and Roscoe? Hopefully Jesse and Daisy catch up to Bo and Luke. I really hope it happens. I don’t want anything to happen to those boys.


Anyway, further back in the wooded area, Bo was wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his jean jacket. Luke couldn’t believe he was still wearing the thing. Bo always said that it was his lucky jean jacket. When he would go hunting, Bo would always put it on.

The jean jacket had all sorts of hidden pockets. Luke never knew what he had sitting in there. Honestly, neither do I. Bo always told us he has everything but the kitchen sink. With how thick the coat is, I always wonder what’s in it but there ain’t much I can do about it.

Luke pushed through the thicket of trees. He looked at the tracks as they turned the corner. They were still heading the same way. Luke snapped his fingers. “There’s a little cabin in the woods,” Luke commented. Bo shrugged.

“Don’t you think I know where we were heading? I mean don’t you think I have been in the woods enough times with y’all?” Bo questioned his cousin.

“Well Roscoe…”

“I knew it too Khee…why do you think I came up here? I know there’s a cabin up here. That’s a good place to hide for a bad guy. Y’all ain’t the only ones living in Hazzard County,” Roscoe cut in.

“Yeah, what he said,” Bo added. He bit on his bottom lip, finding out Luke was wrong all around. Bo didn’t wanna say anything but it was popping out from the seams.

“Okay, according to the peanut gallery, I should have known that one.” Luke’s head lowered. His pride had just gone down the toilet.

“You have got to admit, Bo’s right that it was something we all knew.” Now ain’t that a sight? Dukes getting along with the local law? Well you better take a picture ‘cause folks, this ain’t goanna last long.

“Yeah Luke, I we may not be half as intelligent as you are in some things but that doesn’t mean we’ve never lived before,” Bo added. Luke shrugged.

“I apologize for being so obvious. One thing I know that you don’t know Bo, it would be a whole lot cooler if you took off that dang jean jacket,” Luke answered.

“I will never part with my jean jacket.”

“What is so dang important about it?”

“Simple, it is a good luck charm.” Bo straightened his jacket. He smiled as he pushed his hair back with his palms. Luke rolled his eyes. “Oh come on Luke, It’s true. Killed my first deer with it.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with public enemy number two.”

“Simple, we need all the luck we can get. He has an automatic weapon like you said. We have bows and arrows…well and a semiautomatic.”

“Okay but if you die of heat stroke, don’t blame me.”

“Deal.” As they walked closer and closer, the silence became more apparent. Now when there’s silence among Dukes, you know that trouble is on its way.

Uh huh, did you hear that? Yup, that was a spokesperson of just what power this man has. If you haven’t guessed already, this was a sequence of gunshots. Now friends, I think I wanna move slowly into a ball and suck my thumb. This is pretty scary.

Now Bo, Luke and Roscoe had no time to play frightened. Unlike me, I could take the weight off my feet—crawl in the corner and cry like a mama’s boy. I am saying that because I am being truthful. This is why I signed up for a music career and not a job in the mafia.

Bo and Luke fell onto their bellies. They pulled Roscoe down. “What’s your plan oh mighty Bo?” Luke asked. Bo shrugged, and smiled at his cousin.

“Don’t get killed?” Bo answered. Luke rolled his eyes. “Well what do you want from me?”

“You got us into this mess, now you get us out of it.” Bo laid down on his back.

“Alright, alright. You’re such a baby. I would have thought you had a plan by now.” Roscoe pulled out his gun and shot a few rounds at the guy.

“ROSCOE! Do you wanna get us killed?”

“No,” Roscoe replied.

“Well then quit shootin’ okay?” Roscoe put his gun half down. Bo aimed backwards with his dynamite arrow. He lit it and let it fly.

“I can’t believe I am fighting public enemy number two with two farm boys.” The arrow exploded.

“Do you think we got him Roscoe?” Roscoe peeked up over the bushes. The gun started to shoot off again.

“Nope, I don’t think we got them at all, Luke. I don’t know about you but I don’t think this is goanna work. You know what I mean?” Luke sighed.

“Yeah I know.”

“Luke, I have got an idea,” Bo commented.

“Like your ‘don’t get killed’ scenario? Bo we need a way to get out of here. We don’t need another stupid idea.”

“Oh give me some credit, Luke. I am a Duke after all.” Luke sighed. He looked up at Bo.

“Alright, shoot.”

“Roscoe and me will go around the other side. You continue shootin’ off them arrows. Hopefully, we can get close enough for Roscoe to scream freeze.”

“I like that part,” Roscoe announced.

“I know you do Roscoe, that’s why you’re coming with me.”

“Why are ya being so nice to me?”

“Simple, you wanna be a man, I just really think this’ll help.” Bo directed his attention to Luke. “Will it work?”

“I don’t see why not. You just be careful you two. There is no way I wanna loose either one of ya,” Luke answered. Roscoe and Bo nodded at the same time.

“I’ll keep Bo safe, I promise,” Roscoe mumbled. He sighed. “After all, I got you both in this mess.”

“Roscoe, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t worry about me too much Roscoe, I can take care of myself,” Bo cut in. It sounds just like a war zone. Well until the bullets stopped.

“He’s reloading, get going.”

“We’re gone,” Roscoe said. They began creeping around as Luke released another dynamite arrow. It blew in the air. Luke sighed. He was worried about them already.

Now I would be worried too folks. Think about it, this dude didn’t become public enemy number two because he kicked over a garbage can. They called him unmatchable. Now I wonder what that means for the Duke boys.

As Bo and Roscoe continued to tummy walk it around, Daisy and Jesse caught onto the noise and found Luke. They got down on the ground. Jesse shot a few rounds with his shotgun. Daisy had her bow and arrow kit in hand.

“Luke, are y’all okay? Where’s Bo and Roscoe? Are they alright?” Jesse questioned as he shot another round. Luke shot another arrow and it blew.

“Hold your fire Uncle Jesse, they’re almost right behind him,” Luke replied.

“WHAT?” Daisy exclaimed.

“Daisy, don’t worry, we have this under control.”

“Yeah and that’s why you’re pinned down over here,” Jesse grumbled. Luke rolled his eyes.

“Uncle Jesse, we’re doing our best.”

“Well you shouldn’t have even gotten into this in the first place. Y’all need to grow up.” Luke sighed as he shrugged.

“What were we supposed to do? Were we supposed to let Roscoe get killed?” Jesse hissed almost exactly like a snake. He growled but suddenly stopped. He knew Luke was right.

Meanwhile, Jason Nash kept firing away. He smiled. Jason’s brown eyes seemed to flare up. He was having so much fun that he just barely noticed the gun pointing on his jet black hair. “Freeze criminal, you’re under arrest,” Roscoe exclaimed.

“You want me to freeze? I don’t even know you and you want me to freeze?” Jason Nash said.

“That’s right, put the gun down and put your hands up.” Jason put his hands up but didn’t put the gun down. He knocked the gun out of Roscoe’s hand. He backed up.

“Well this is what I think about your idea.” Jason aimed for Roscoe. Bo jumped up as the shots went off. He flew through the air. Bo hit a tree and then fell to the ground.

Roscoe shot Jason Nash, in the arm. He grabbed him and put the cuffs on. Tears rolled into Roscoe’s eyes. He shook his head. Roscoe looked back at Bo who wasn’t moving.

“You killed a child! A boy who was only sixteen years old! How do you think that’ll hold up in court?” Roscoe questioned. He wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Who cares?” Jason said.

“I do, you killed an innocent boy. A boy who didn’t deserve it.” Roscoe pulled him up. Luke, Daisy and Jesse ran to where Bo was laying. They all began to cry.

“You said you were handling it?” Jesse sobbed. He shook his head. “Now look what happened.”

“Uncle Jesse, it wasn’t Luke’s fault,” Daisy replied. Jesse’s head lowered. She put an arm around her uncle.

“My poor boy.”

“Uncle Jesse, I’m so sorry,” Luke mumbled through the tears. Luke rolled Bo over slowly. “I’m really sorry, Bo—I am so, so, so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Bo mumbled. Everyone looked up at their cousin. “Sorry I worried y’all, I was kind of unconscious.”

“But we saw him shoot you with an automatic weapon. The rounds that would have gone into you would have killed you. how in the world did you survive?” Daisy asked.

Bo smiled softly. He tried to sit up but felt too dizzy. His head pounded like nothing he had ever felt before. Instead, he reached into his jacket and undid two zippers on each side of him.

He pulled out two books out of these large pockets. You could barely read the titles they were shot up so bad. One read “Gone with the Wind” and the other was “War and Peace”. Daisy and Luke looked at each other and then at Bo.

Everyone was still confused beyond belief. I mean think about it folks, why would a boy intentionally bring those two books on a hunt? I wondered more than Jesse did. Jesse just smiled and was thrilled he was alive.

However, it wasn’t that easy with Luke and Daisy. After all, they are young inquiring Dukes. I would be wondering if I were young. As well. “What’s with the books?” Luke questioned. See what I mean?

“Well, the teacher assigned them for summer reading. I figured I could read them on the way back. I didn’t wanna forget them so I slid them in my coat pockets,” Bo replied.

“What inspired you to jump up?” Daisy asked.

“Simple, I knew no one or nothing for that matter could get through ‘World and Peace’ let alone ‘Gone with the Wind’. So I took a chance.” Daisy began laughing and Luke just shook his head.

“Well I am still surprised you didn’t get killed.”

“So am I…but dang, my head hurts.” Jesse began laughing. Bo seemed confused. “What?”

“You did hit a tree.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

“You were awful brave Bo,” Daisy announced.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

“I think y’all lost your brains,” Jesse mumbled. Everyone began laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing Uncle Jesse,” Luke said.

“Yeah sure.” Sally and the other Calvary ran in. They couldn’t believe that the three men weren’t killed. Well Bo had to go off to the hospital and so did Jason Nash.


The biggest part of the day was what happened between Sally and Roscoe. “Well, I was a good sheriff today wasn’t I?” Roscoe said, in the waiting room of the hospital.

“Yeah, you were a very good Sheriff, Roscoe. In fact, I think you don’t need me anymore,” Sally stated. Roscoe crocked an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Admit it Roscoe, you are an amazing Sheriff.”

“I guess I am.”

“You guess? You, Bo and Luke went off on an adventure. You guys were shot at and still came out okay.”

“Well I guess we did do well.”

“Roscoe, you are an amazing man.”

“Yet you don’t love me?” Sally shook her head.

“Why do you have to bring this up now?” Roscoe shrugged. He looked deep into her eyes.

“I want to know if you love me, Sally. It is a simple thing to say, yes or no.”

“I do love you.”

“Then why don’t you want to be my girlfriend?” Sally began to cry. She shook her head.

“I’m leaving Hazzard County. That’s why I don’t wanna be your girlfriend.”

“You could stay and…”

“No Roscoe I can’t.”

“What will I do without you?”

“You’ll work so hard.”

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t think I could stand not seeing you.”

“Oh you’ll see me around, Roscoe, I promise you will. I will be living closer to police headquarters in capital city.”

“That’s not close enough.” Roscoe sighed. He looked up at her as his shoulders lowered. “I love you more than anyone. I want you to be here with me.”

“I know and right now, I can’t think of doing that. You do understand don’t you?”

“I guess when you grow up you can come back.”

“Yeah…when I grow up, maybe we can go out and be a couple. Meanwhile, I have to find out who I am. That’s why I am leaving. I hope you can identify with me.”

“I do.”

“Thank you Roscoe.”

“You’re welcome.” They hugged for a minute or so. Roscoe smiled weakly. He didn’t know what else to say to this broken fairy tale. Personally I didn’t either. She said she loved him. Why couldn’t she stay?

Bo got off easier than Nash. You see, Bo had a concussion. Nash on the other hand had a broken right shoulder and a cuffed left had. I thought it was a funny sight. Especially when Jason Nash made his way to the state pen. Now who says crime doesn’t pay?

Bo, Luke and Roscoe got certificates of valor for what they had done. Now won’t those look good up on the wall? I think so, don’t you? The Duke Boys got something more, personal thanks from Roscoe. Now didn’t they feel honored?

Roscoe refused to drive Sally to the bus stop. However, he did watch from afar as she sat there with Daisy. Sally seemed miserable as she sat there. She sighed tenderly. Miss Sally didn’t know what do so or what to say. Daisy looked into her eyes.

“What is it?” Daisy asked.

“Can I confess something to you?” Sally questioned.


“I want to stay. I want to date Roscoe.” Daisy looked confused. After all, it was Sally that was the one who was leaving. “He is such a wonderful person. I love him more than anything in the world.”

“Then why leave?”

“He deserves the best.” Tears filled her eyes. She tried to push them away but it wasn’t working. “Right now, I feel like I am not the right one for him.”

“He knows you are the one.”

“Maybe I am…maybe I am not. I just want to become a better person.” The bus pulled up. “Well, here’s my ride. Thanks for everything Daisy. You will keep in touch?”

“Everyday Sally, everyday.” She gave Sally a large hug. Sally walked up onto the bus. The doors closed. Sally looked out the window. She saw Roscoe sitting on the hood of his police car, staring at her. She waved softly.

Now I know Roscoe was goanna have some heart ache. He would have friends though. After all, this is Hazzard County. In Hazzard, people support each other. That is something that really made me happy. When I came to this county for instance—oh wait, that’s another story, for good ol’ Hazzard County.

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