Sherlock Coltrane

by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County, you love it here don’t you? Ah, you didn’t have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes. I guess there is something about Hazzard that makes you wanna come back. You know, you should find out what it is. Maybe then you would like to stay in one place.

Ah, I am just kidding. I like being here too. Besides that, I know as well as you do that Hazzard has too many parts to move. Our place is made for us. It is nice to visit Hazzard but it takes special people to live here. I mean that in a nice way folks.

Bo and Luke have it down to a science. They know how to live here and help people all at the same time. I like that about them. Those Dukes are pretty dang smart. If Daisy wasn’t in Hazzard…I don’t think the men would wanna be here, do you?

You want me to get on with the adventure? Well I understand that. After all, I am the balladeer and a good storyteller at that. I am great when it comes to stories. Oh? You don’t believe me?

Well I’ll prove it then smarty pants. This title is pretty good…Sherlock Coltrane. I thought of that one. You see folks, I do know what I am doing. I win.

You know, I really like those Sherlock Holmes books. They are very neat. I would never have thought of so many ways to figure something out. Only the great Sherlock could do it—well him or those forensic scientists.

I guess I can’t pick between the two after all, it is Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock is more famous than any of them people. Then again, back when, there were shows about criminal scene investigation.

I don’t know if I would call them better than Sherlock. The scientists nowadays have way more equipment and much more advanced at that.


You see, there he is. Now I know you’re wondering what Sherlock and ol’ Roscoe have in common. Well let’s see. Roscoe and Sherlock both have the same birthday, January 6th…which is pretty odd to me.

Roscoe is a lawman who helps people solve problems—when Boss ain’t using him for one of his many adventures. That’s pretty cool. Roscoe has a sidekick and so does Sherlock.

You know what? To get to the heart of this story though, we’ll have to go to our source, Enos. Sounds weird but this is how it happened folks.

It is the dead of night. I mean the real dead of night. Not too many people are lurking around corners. Look around you…yep, we’re at Enos’ house. Don’t look at me like that, this is somewhat important don’t you know.

Oh come on, I know making a roast doesn’t seem important to you. However, to people like Boss Hogg and Enos it is. I know what you’re thinking, what is a person like Enos doing making a roast at two in the morning?

Well when some people have problems sleeping, they count sheep. Uncle Jesse takes a long walk when he can’t catch a few hours. With Enos, when he can’t sleep, he cooks. His little cat prowled under his feet. Enos picked up the roast and put it in the pot.

He took the strings off when his door swung open. A young woman looked right at him. She was out of breath. Enos’ eyes widened. He knew this girl. So do I. Her name is Krista and she ain’t a resident of Hazzard—well not anymore. She used to live right next door to Enos when he lived with his father, DJ Strait.

Krista was Enos’ childhood friend. She and her sister always were playing with Enos and his brother Dean. Krista’s sister, Brenda, always seemed to be getting in trouble. Enos was the only one they would trust to get her back out.

Krista and Brenda moved to Sweetwater County. They had no telephone or TV. Enos didn’t worry too much about that one. Why? Well he didn’t know it had gotten this bad again.

Krista looked at Enos with compassion. “Enos, I need your help,” Krista said intently. She sighed. Krista always hated asking Enos for help.

“Now what’s going on Miss Krista?” Enos questioned. She shook her head. Almost not willing to tell Enos, Krista backed up for the door. “Krista, come back please.”

“Enos I am sorry.”

“For what?”

“Always pushing you into our problems—it isn’t fair to you.”

“Krista you know…”

“Enos, it is true.” Krista shook her head. “You do so much for everyone in Hazzard County and now you have to help.”

“I like to help you guys because…”

“Why? Because I always push you back into our problems. It ain’t fair at all to you.”

“Pushing? You think you push me into this?”

“I know I do.”

“Ding dang it, you know I would help y’all if you were in trouble. Come on now Krista, you need to talk to me about it.”

“Enos, we don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve the best and don’t ever forget that. Y’hear? I want you to remember that you deserve the best.” Krista smiled. Now ain’t Enos a gentleman? I think he always will be to every girl he meets.

“Oh Enos, she’s at it again.”

“Who Brenda?”


“What has she done this time?”

“The usual.”

“I see.”

“Brenda hasn’t come home in three days.”


“Yeah and I am really worried. Oh Enos, what if she’s…”

“Krista, it is okay.” She began crying.

“No, it has been getting worse and worse with Brenda.” Krista bit on her bottom lip. “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“It’s okay, I’m here now.” Krista shook her head no. “What’s wrong?”

“I wish I didn’t have to go to you every time.”

“I know but sometimes it is good to get help.”

“I have tried everything, Enos. You were my last resort. You know that.”

“I believe you.”

“She has been seeing one of those types of men again. I don’t know where she could be. The police have been looking but…”

“Haven’t found anything?”

“Not a thing Enos…I don’t know what to do.” Enos continued cutting the strings of the roast. “I mean what if another one of those awful men have beaten her?”

“She always does pick the wrong ones. Always the ones that treat her wrong.” Krista grabbed a handkerchief from her purse. “You don’t know how hard it has been this past year.”

“I do.”

“I don’t know what to do Enos.” She dabbed her eyes with it.

“We’ll go right now and look for her okay?” Krista’s head lowered. “Okay?”

“Okay Enos.”

You still have wet napkins in the car?”


“Then let’s not waste any time.”

“Okay Enos.”As Enos ran out, he almost slipped. He left a bloody hand print on the wall. Now friends, if you know anything about Hazzard County, you know this has some significance.


Luke, Bo and Daisy were racing each other. Now if you know anything about the Dukes, you know they love racing. I am tellin’ ya, it is in their blood. If Bo and Luke could race all day, they would be thrilled.

Daisy seemed to be doing well since Luke and Bo added the new modifications to it. She loved her Dolly. That car did so many wonders for her. Bo flew in General one right over her. He landed right away.

Luke also flew but this time, Daisy had to move her Dolly. These two were on a roll. They seemed to be going pretty fast. If they beat Daisy, she would have to organize their party for them.

If Daisy won, well she would be using Bo and Luke for a dummy to sew—since they broke her old one practicing dance moves. I thought it was funny and so did Bo. Daisy and Luke weren’t impressed.

Oh well I suppose. Bo wasn’t about to loose the race. However, if he were goanna loose, he would rather loose it to Luke than to Daisy. I don’t know why but Bo was very competitive with Daisy lately.

He never did like when she won. However, Daisy was goanna work at it too. She had won a couple of races against the boys. After all, she had a Duke teach her how to drive.

Uncle Jesse was a good teacher that’s for sure. He could teach a half brained mule how to drive well. Now that’s just how patient Jesse truly way. How he could be that patient I don’t know. Oh well I suppose.

Anyway, after Bo and Luke went over her in the General Lees, Daisy knew she needed a new battle plan. Daisy smiled as she rubbed her hands together.
“If I can’t win by going on the roads, there is always cross countryside boys,” Daisy said to herself. She chuckled. Her eyebrows went up as she turned off the road.

In General one, Bo crocked an eyebrow. He picked up the CB. “Breaker, breaker, Lost Sheep two to Bo Peep…where the heck are you going sugar, come back?” Bo questioned.

“Quite simple Lost Sheep two, I am going to the moon,” Daisy replied. Bo didn’t get it at all but didn’t want to loose the race. He put his CB down and began to drive.

“This is Lost Sheep one calling Lost sheep two, do ya need me to translate?” Luke questioned over the CB.

“Negative,” Bo replied. He shifted his eyes. Luke spun in front of him. Daisy came out of nowhere, trying still to race the two boys down. Luke couldn’t seem to pull in front of her.

“Well here she is. If she wins we’re dress dummies.”

“I hear ya cousin.”

“So what are we goanna do?”

“Ain’t it obvious Bo?”



“Well that’s a big 10-4, Luke Duke. I am goanna pray my heart out.”

“Oh good, I’ll do it with you.”

“Good thing you’re around.”

“Well back to racing Luke.” Bo put the CB down. “Oh no you don’t, Daisy.” Now Bo went off on his own. He tightened his grip on the wheel. As Bo went cross country, Luke followed him. Now these country drivers ain’t too bad. Well that is until there is an obstacle.

You see that road up ahead? Well it is filled to the gill with construction. It however is the fastest way into town. If Bo and Luke don’t take it, Daisy will get to the Davenports’ Garage first and this race would be over.

Kind of a win loose situation, ain’t it. Well, they managed to get onto that road, breaking through all the “do not enter” signs while they were at it. Now they were pretty good but this next mound of dirt was a big one.

Oh Bo and Luke didn’t care none. They headed straight for it. Ready to hit at first notice. Bo and Luke flew seconds a part from each other. The new engine Luke and Bo had been working on in General Lee one allowed him to fly further than before.

Now Bo was thrilled with the results. They managed to make it to Cooter’s and Dodger’s garage. Both looked at the mechanics. “Hey, Daisy hasn’t rolled through here has she?” Luke questioned.

“Look up boys,” Daisy commented. They both looked up. Daisy jumped down. She smiled and pushed her hair back. “So, who wants to start? I mean y’all both are great guys but I am making a dress for Miss Ruth Coltrane. So—I guess it will be Luke.” Bo began laughing.

“It ain’t funny.”

“Oh it sure is. You’re so short, the women folk don’t mind you being their dummy,” Bo replied.

“Cute Bo, real cute.”

“Sorry to but in but what are y’all talking about?” Dodger asked.

“Yeah, I more lost than he is,” Cooter added.

“Simple, these two bet and lost.” Cooter and Dodger looked at Daisy and then at the Duke boys.

“Y’all lost?”

“Wiped up that’s the real word.”

“What’s the verdict for my two friends?”

“Simple Cooter they bet with me that they would be me.” Bo and Luke hit their faces. “Now they’ll be my dummies for when I make my dresses.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Dodger mumbled. He was trying to show restraint. Cooter on the other hand—well, he was all out laughing.

“Daisy, you better make sure it is one frilly dress for Bo,” Cooter exclaimed. Now Dodger was laughing.

“And pink.”

“It ain’t funny, y’all,” Bo grumbled.

“You wanna make a bet?”



“Well come on, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am, I won’t let her put high heels on ya.” Now Cooter was really going. Luke seemed to have a blank look on his face. He looked over towards the police station.

“Oh great,” Bo said as he caught sight of his cousin.

“What’s wrong?” Daisy asked.

“He has that look in his eye. The one look where he snaps his fingers and away I go in the opposite direction.”

“Oh that look! You mean the one where you end up getting into trouble?”

“That’s the one.”

“Look at that, I was expecting Enos and Roscoe to be out on patrol. You know, trying to stop us from racing,” Luke mumbled.

“Well Luke obviously not.”

“Usually, they’re both out there by now.”

“Yeah I know. I kind of well—live in Hazzard too.”

“I know that but do you think it is weird?”

“Of course I do but why do we have to go looking for trouble.”

“We’re Dukes.” Luke snapped his fingers. “Come on Bo.”

“Here we go again.” Daisy began to laugh. She shook her head. Bo was right, Luke was always doing that.

“Well come on!”

“Bye Bo,” Daisy laughed. They ran across the street. Now ain’t that just like the Dukes? When they ain’t being chased, they wonder why.


Nope, Bo and Luke couldn’t leave anything well enough alone. Well I guess when you have been chased for so long you just expect it. When you’re in Hazzard, you had better believe you check out things like that.

Trouble in Hazzard County is unlike trouble in most places. You know, sometimes it is big and sometimes it is little…well we don’t often see the little bits of trouble. Usually, in Hazzard that is, you don’t see trouble until it hits you—like a newspaper on a hound’s nose.

I have seen it be perfectly quiet for a while and then BAM! Trouble comes and poor Bo and Luke are off trying to save the day. Which seems pretty fun to me but Bo would disagree. You know why? Well simple, he wishes this action was steady.

Anyway, as Bo and Luke entered Roscoe’s office, he had his back towards them. Well that wasn’t unusual but it allowed the Duke Boys to sneak up on him as he turned around.

Bo and Luke seemed to get more information when they were behind someone. It ain’t a bad idea, going behind someone. The Duke Cousins sure do know their business. Bo and Luke couldn’t believe the sight they had before them. Roscoe looked like he hadn’t even left his desk yet.

“Look Denver-Jones, he’s your son now—so where did you put him?” Roscoe began. Suddenly he lifted the phone. “Hello?” Roscoe shook his head.

“What’s the matter R…” Bo began. Roscoe leapt up higher than jellybeans, you know, the jumping kind.

”Now Bo, Luke y’all need to get out of here this instant.” Roscoe shook his head. “You boys scared me.”

“Yes we know we scared you and we apologize. Did you say Enos was missing?” Luke questioned.

“For your information, Enos ain’t missing.” Roscoe’s eyes shifted. “He just didn’t show up for work and—he’s just not answering the phone.”

“WHAT? That ain’t like Enos.” Luke shook his head. Now when you have known someone for a long time, you start to learn how they are like. For all those who know the Straits, you know that they are never late.

“You think?” Roscoe said sarcastically. Luke shook his head. He couldn’t believe Roscoe pulled one on him.

“He loves his job and he always calls in.” Luke sighed. His head lowered slightly. “Roscoe, we’ll help you look for him. Even if it takes us all day.”

“Luke, this ain’t your business now.”

“This is my business, Enos is my best friend and it ain’t easy to replace a best friend.”

“Hush now! You shouldn’t be looking for him then. You’ll use the wrong judgment.” Luke rolled his eyes. He was about to use his anger on Roscoe but Bo held him back. Quite the change from the usual huh?

“Roscoe, did you try going to his house?” Bo questioned. Roscoe played with his chin.

“Now I can’t go chasing after Enos right now.” Roscoe began going through papers. “Boss Hogg told me to stay right here.” Luke rolled his eyes.

“Look Roscoe…” Luke began.

“Don’t you threaten me or I’ll put you in the pokey?” Bo crocked an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were goanna.”

“I wasn’t going you…

“Ah, there you go. Now get out of here before I throw you in the pen. Do ya understand?”

“I ain’t dumb Roscoe.”

“Now git, both of ya!” Bo rolled his eyes as he walked out there. When the younger of the two cousins noticed that his older one wasn’t behind him, Bo turned around and grabbed Luke. He almost had to drag him out of there.

“Can you believe him?”

“We can’t take this laying down,” Bo replied.

“Yeah but if we head out that way, Roscoe will find some reason to arrest us and you know it.”

“Yeah but if we don’t get out there…”

“You’re right, Enos is much more important than our freedom.” Luke sighed. “You go check out Enos’ house. Wear gloves and don’t get caught.”

“What are you goanna do?”

“Check out all of Enos’ favorite spots—fishing spots and such.”

“Alright, good luck cousin.”

“Yeah I’ll need it.” Luke cleared his throat. “You’re goanna need it too.”

“Need what?”


“I’m full of that.”

“Well good, pull some out. Going around Enos’ place could be dangerous.”

“Yeah I know but I am the master at breaking and entering.”

“Don’t you break anything!”

“I won’t.”

“Yeah sure, look just enter don’t break.”

“Yes sir master cousin sir.” Luke rolled his eyes. “What?”

“Don’t call me master cousin.”

“Why? It suits you.”

“What do you mean by that Beauregard?”

“Nothing Lucas, nothing at all—why do you ask?” Luke growled at his younger cousin.

“Can we just get going?” Bo rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger. “Well yes or no?” Bo looked at his cousin with the cheesiest smile you have ever seen.

“I ain’t stopping you, why are you still here, Luke? I wanted to leave but if you didn’t notice, your General’s blocking my General.” Luke shook his head.

“You’re impossible.”

“Actually for once Luke, you are the one who is impossible.” Now what do you think they’re goanna suspect when they see the beefy hand print on the wall? Well wait and see y’all.


Now Daisy went with Luke because she was worried about good ol’ Enos too. Besides that, if Enos were having a bad day, he would talk to Daisy in a second. She does have the right touch you know. Dodger and Cooter decided to help too which was nice of them to offer up their services.

Now they checked fishing spots. Cooter and Dodger checked out of town. You know around places Bo and Luke weren’t allowed to go to due to their probation. It wasn’t a bad idea.

Meanwhile at Enos’ house, Bo was making some pretty good discoveries himself. Remember now, the Dukes don’t go right in and break in someone’s house. They have probation on their butts.

So even though Bo had the skills, he wasn’t about to kick the door open or anything like that. Probation don’t do these boys justice does it now? Anyway, we should get back to the facts before we get too off topic.

So first off, Enos’ car was still there. Now you know as well as I do that Enos wouldn’t walk unless his car was broken down. Something which Bo was well aware of—he knew he had to check under the hood.

Bo opened up the hood. Everything seemed to be in working order. None of the tubes were leaking. The distributor cap looked all connected and working. He hot wired the car—how he knows that, I really don’t know.

Well the car was working. So why then? Why was Enos missing. Now Bo had enough of car maintenance 101. He moved onto the next bit of evidence, tire tracks.

Now to most people, a tire is just a tire. Not for Bo. He has helped Cooter put tires on each and every car in Hazzard at one point or another. So you can then imagine how easy it was for him to tell whose tires are whose.

Well first of all, Enos’ car had just been fixed. How did Bo know? Quite simple, Cooter’s truck and Enos’ car were driving side by side. Bo knew for sure Enos’ car was in working order now.

The next set was General Lee one. General Lee one and two have different tires. Bo and Luke came over for dinner last night so that was obvious. However, there was one set of tires that was odd. They were older tires—handmade tires. Something Bo hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Balloon tires?” Bo questioned. He looked at the imprint of them. He hardly could believe this beautiful site. He could even seen an engraving on the tire. It had the year and make of the car on it. “A show car?” What Bo was looking at was the tires of a 1948 F-1 Ford.

To understand about this car, you would have to go back to Krista’s family. Her Grandfather was filthy rich. When he died, he left her the car—and all the custom made tires. Well that and half his estate. However, Brenda spent most of that money.

“Ah, you have revealed where you have gone, Enos Strait, you sly dog you,” Bo announced.

“Freeze!” Roscoe exclaimed. Bo put his hands up. “Yep that’s right Bo! I caught you red handed. Bo rolled his eyes.

“You have got to be kidding me Roscoe! I am here to find out what happened to…” Bo’s eyebrow went up. “What are you wearing?”

“Well…” Remember the Sherlock stories? Well he has the coat, hat and pipe. He also has Flash.

“Roscoe…” Bo began laughing. He shook his head, keeping his hands up. “You look ridiculous.”

“Hush!” Roscoe put the gun closer to Bo. “Just hush! You know what? You’re under arrest!”

“For what?”

“Kidnapping Enos.” Roscoe blew into the pipe and bubbles came out. Bo began laughing but then the charge sunk in. He shook his head. Bo’s face became very serious.

“I didn’t kidnap him! I was just about to check the inside to see if I could get any clues as to where he was. I got some information…”

“I don’t wanna hear your information. I am the officer of the law Khee.”

“I could know something Roscoe.”

“Yeah sure.” Roscoe slapped the hand cuffs on himself and Bo. The young Duke boy stared at the cold metal bracelet.


“Well you’re guilty until proven innocent.” Now if wearing something freezing on your arm wasn’t bad enough—imagine being attached to Roscoe.

“It’s innocent until proven guilty.”

“Who’s the sheriff?” Bo rolled his eyes. “Come on? Who is wearing the badge?”

“You are.” Bo growled under his breath.

“Thank you.”

“Why take me to jail if Enos could be in there?”

“Good point.”

“I thought it was.”

“We’ll check it out together so you don’t pull anything.”



“Yes sir.” As they walked in the house, Roscoe saw the hand print. His eyes widened.

“Well Bo Duke, I caught your hand in the cookie jar. You killed Enos.”

“I did not.”

“Well mister smarty pants, looks like you knew there was something inside.” Bo swallowed hard.

“You have got to believe me—I didn’t know anything about this.”

“You’re under arrest. Time to go to jail, murder.”

“Enos ain’t dead that’s…”

“No more of your excuses.”

“Roscoe if you examine the hand print you’ll see…”

“Just hush now! You’re in enough trouble as it is.” Bo shook his head. “You have the right to…”

“I know my rights.”

“Good, saves time, Khee.” Bo shook his head and sighed. He knew how much trouble he was.

“If Enos is dead where’s the body?”

“Where ever you hid it murder!” Roscoe shook his head. “Shame, shame, everyone knows your name.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s just what a murder would say.” Bo shook his head.

“Why can’t you believe me for once?”

“You were in the middle of a crime scene covering up tracks.” Bo growled like a bear.

“No, I was trying to figure out where Enos is if you would just let me speak…”



“I said hush!” Uh oh, Bo is being blamed for murdering Enos. Now friends and neighbors, this is pretty bad. He could be sent to prison for life.

Oh but commit to memory folks, no one is dead. Enos is up in Sweetwater County helping Krista and Brenda. So how in the world could Bo have killed him?

However, Roscoe doesn’t know that and Bo can’t tell him because he won’t let him. What is Bo goanna do? Well just wait and you might find out folks.


Luke took a most imperative jump in General Lee two. He began to speed up. He drove like an important person was chasing behind him. Well maybe not important but someone like—uh, Roscoe. Well okay, he is important.

Anyway, he drove like that in case they were. I guess it is brilliant accepted wisdom passed down the Duke line. In Hazzard, Dukes have been chased repeatedly. You want proof? Well here we go then.

Let’s see, they have had Roscoe—the first as Sheriff of Hazzard County chasing their Grandparents. Cletus and Enos were always around the corner too. Sometimes it came to their advantage other times—not so much. Bo and Luke the first really knew how to run.

When Jesse, Jo and Jose were in Hazzard, They still had Cletus being Sheriff. However, they also had a few new characters. Perry Coltrane, Roscoe’s son, he knew how to take over the family business. DJ Strait, Enos’ son who was a good police officer at heart but his driving needed work.

Now we come to this time period. Bo, Luke and Daisy are being chased by their kids. Roscoe is a police officer who takes after his family line in most ways. Enos, DJ Strait’s son, was quite the guy too. Now I haven’t met a new Hogg to be a deputy but I shouldn’t count my chickens should I now?

Well there you have it, a long history of deputies and sheriffs chasing the Duke Boys. I would give you even more detail about the long lines of police officers of Hazzard but dang, ain’t this enough?

Well this showed my point. This is why Luke and his cousin Bo drive like that—or why all the Dukes drive like that for that matter. Luke and Bo would drive to church that way.

No really, Uncle Jesse wouldn’t even tell them to slow down. Now that’s a Duke for you. Jesse may be getting older—ehem, I mean aging nicely. Anyway, he likes going fast, that’s all that matters.

Anyway, back to the story. Where were we? Oh yeah, Luke was now worried about more than one thing. Well I would be too. Think about it—wait, you don’t know what I’m talking about yet.

Okay well Luke hadn’t heard from Bo in an hour. With Enos missing and now Bo—well let’s just say things weren’t going too well for the Duke family. Luke was thinking of all the reasons why Bo wouldn’t be calling. Some of his worst fears were revealed in his head.

Luke tried to dismiss them just as fast as they came but that is easier said than done. Luke had been watching over Bo for a long time and he didn’t wanna ruin it now. Jesse would kill him if he didn’t produce his cousin. Luke couldn’t think of that now, he needed to watch the road.

The General was doing pretty well on the turns. Well then again it was General Lee two. He had been fighting fit since the day he was made. Come on, Jesse worked on this car personally—with the help of his cousin slash brother in law Jose.

Daisy sat in the passenger’s seat. She was too quiet for words. Not a peep rose from her mouth. Daisy played with her hair. She seemed to systematize each strand. It seemed really weird even for her. Then again, she was worried.

“Hey, you okay?” Luke asked her. Daisy shook her head. She couldn’t really respond. Daisy liked Enos a lot and to think of him missing or worse wasn’t a picnic.

“Yeah,” She lied.

“You don’t think I know you better than that?” Daisy sighed as she tried to put on a fake smile. Luke could see right through her. “Come on Daisy, you can try all you want, it won’t work.”

“I was just thinking about when I first came to Hazzard County—I ran away from where y’all were.” Luke looked confused.

“Where were we again?” Daisy smiled.

“Y’all were helping Mr. Rhuebottom with boxes. Bo heard me laugh I think and I got worried. I began to run away and—well, I bumped into Enos.”

“Ah so that’s when he helped you.” Daisy grinned and nodded softly.

“You can sort of say he was my first really good friend in Hazzard County.”

“I know Daisy—he was mine too.” Daisy began crying. She shook her head.

“How can you speak of him in past tense?” Luke sighed.

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

“You’re right, it was.” Luke shook his head. “I don’t know where my mind was and you know, I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t. Luke, you’re doing your best and now with Bo not calling…” As Daisy was about to finish her sentence, she saw General Lee one just sitting there. Luke put on the breaks almost immediately.

“Huston, we have a problem.” Yup, now if they only knew where Bo was they would be planning even more than they were. Well ain’t you glad we’re not the ones that come up with the plans?


In the police station, Bo was in the main jail cell upstairs. He was told not to talk but he was witnessing quite the sight. Yup, just as Roscoe was dressed up so was Flash. Bo couldn’t help but laugh.

“You hush,” Roscoe grumbled.

“Roscoe, Flash looks ridiculous,” Bo answered.

“I don’t care if he looks like a pony to help me find Enos’ body.”

“Like I dun told ya, I know where he…”

“Hush—you telling me my bosom buddy is still alive hurts when you killed him.”

“I didn’t…”

“I said hush!” Now Roscoe’s attention was drawn back on Flash. “Who’s Daddy’s baby? I love you my Flash Khee.” Boss Hogg came out and Flash began barking.

“What is that dang fool dog doing here?” Boss asked.

“She’s goanna help me find Enos.” Boss bit off the top of a cigar. He stuck it in his mouth and lit it.

“Oh really?”

“Yes sir, he’ll find Enos in no time.” Boss sat on the edge of the desk, far enough away from Flash as to stop her from barking.

“Well now, this I have to see.” Boss stuck the cigar back in his mouth and blew it out coolly.

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to smoke in public places?” Bo questioned.

“Quiet, this is my building, I can do what I want.” Bo rolled his eyes. Boss didn’t worry about it. He looked back at Roscoe and his hound. Boss rubbed his hands together. “Okay, if your dog can actually find Enos, I’ll give you a pay raise.”

“Oh Goody, goody gumdrops,” Roscoe commented.

“Never mind the dang gumdrops. Just show me how this mutt—I mean hound is goanna find Enos.”

“I saw it on a movie once Khee.” Roscoe grabbed Enos’ shirt and put it in front of Flash’s nose. “Come on girl pick up the scent.”

“That hound couldn’t pick up a scent if she was in a garbage dump.”

“Now Boss, you’ll hurt her feelings now apologize or she can’t do it.” Now JD Hogg doesn’t like to apologize to the animals.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Do it.”

“I’m sorry Flash.”

“Okay Flash, find Daddy’s friend.” Flash yawned her eyes blinked and she laid down. Boss Hogg laughed and shook his head.

“Well looks like I won’t be paying you more.” He went back into his office.

“She’s a smart dog—you still get a doggy num-num, Khee.” Roscoe pulled a dog treat out of the box and fed it to Flash. Bo looked at Roscoe.

“Don’t I get one phone call?” Bo asked.

“Okay but I’ll have to attach these new fangled handcuffs. They attach to your hands and your feet Khee.”

“I ain’t a murder Roscoe.”

“In the eyes of the law you are until proven innocent.”

“You mean until proven guilty you’ll treat me like I am guilty.”


“Roscoe, you really think I am capable of killing Enos, a good friend of the family?” Roscoe thought about it for a minute. “Roscoe, come on.”

“You never know. I had a dog once when I was a boy and he had rabies but I didn’t think he did.”

“Roscoe, I ain’t been bitten by a raccoon or anything.”

“How do I know that?”

“Roscoe you are impossible.”

“That’s what I get paid for.”

“I am still the same Duke Boy.”

“Y’all have been in a lot of trouble.” Bo sighed. He wasn’t winning this argument at all. Bo crossed his arms. He knew the only way he would make this phone call was through Roscoe’s terms. Well I am glad I ain’t a Duke right now, ain’t you?


“Roscoe you pee brained Lilly—I can’t think of enough names to call you,” Jesse Duke exclaimed as he walked in. The whole Duke gang—along with the Davenports were behind him.

“Now Jesse, he killed Enos,” Roscoe replied.

“Killed Enos?”

“Well he is my first choice for killing him.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, see was around the crime scene and…”

“Roscoe you need to get your head examined,” Cooter cut in.

“No kidding, how could you possibly think that Bo would have killed Enos?” Daisy questioned.

“Yeah, I mean Enos and Bo have been friends—well longer than I have been in Hazzard County.”

“Yeah, what my brother said,” Dodger added.

“You know what? I can’t believe you would blame my cousin of such things,” Luke growled.

“Well it happened because he was there…” Roscoe began.

“Yeah, looking for clues to find Enos.”

“Well y’all…” Bo began.

“Quiet for a minute, Bo, I’m talking.” Now Bo was the only one who knew where ol’ Enos was and he was the one that kept being pushed down. Pretty sad ain’t it.

“Well it ain’t my fault that your cousin murdered Enos Strait,” Roscoe commented.

“He would never do that you dogfish!” Jesse exclaimed. Boss Hogg got out of his office.

“Now what’s all the who ha about?” Boss asked.

“Your boneheaded sheriff JD, that’s who.”

“Now Jesse, that’s cold.”

“What’s cold is him blaming Bo for Enos’ disappearance and then saying that he is dead.”

“Well he did find a handprint on the wall that was bloody. It is Enos’. I know because Roscoe brought a picture back.”

“What is a picture goanna prove JD? You know that’s inconclusive.”

“The same print is on my wall when Enos ate chocolate and put his hand against the wall.”

“How do you know if it ain’t chocolate?”

“Well…” Jesse leaned in.


“Well…” Jesse leaned in closer. The door opened as everyone all out began to argue.

“Hi y’all,” Enos said. He sat down at the desk and yawned. Everyone continued to fight for a moment. They then realized Enos said that. Now the whole group was surrounding Enos.

“Where have you been Enos?” Roscoe asked. Before Enos could speak, Bo cleared his throat.

“Sweetwater,” Bo announced.

“How did you know…”

“Well Roscoe was reading Sherlock Holmes books. That’s why he didn’t go out to the crime site right away. He thought the books would help him.”

“Elementary my dear Bo—I mean Khee, he’s right.” Everyone began laughing. They looked at Bo once again.

“After I went to the farm, I discovered the tire tracks of the car Krista drives through here. I figured Brenda was in trouble again and so Enos headed to Sweetwater to help knowing where Brenda hid.”

“One thing bothers me Bo,” Luke cut in.


“Why didn’t you say this earlier?” Bo rolled his eyes. He shook his head.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, you would have gotten out of this a lot sooner.”

“I tried to tell Roscoe hundreds of times but he wouldn’t listen.”

“How about us?”

“Well I tried. Then y’all argued something terrible and then Enos showed up.”

“Howdy,” Enos commented.

“Enos, let him out,” Jesse growled.

“It would be my pleasure.” Enos grabbed the keys off the desk. Roscoe took them out of his hands.

“I’m the Sheriff here, dipstick…Khee I like that, Dipstick.” Well Bo was released from prison without fault. All is well that ends well huh? Well this was all elementary for Hazzard County that is.

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