by: Essy Jane
Dedication: This Dukes of Hazzard story is dedicated to the one and only Lisa aka, Maryanne Coltrane. She has done so much for us and more or less seems to be two people at times. She is the most outstanding moderator and will until the end of time be known as a miraculous writer. So thank you Maryanne for every little thing you do for us. This one is for you
Welcome back to Hazzard, you sure seem to like this place. After all, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t would you now? Don’t worry none, I like Hazzard too. I love looking at all the Hazzard scenery. I love watching all the adventures that run through here. So yes, I do love this place, this Hazzard County. I wouldn’t be your Balladeer if I didn’t. Heck I guess I wouldn’t come here as often as I do.
Okay, now let’s see here—ah, there are the Dukes, they are walking in to Hazzard restaurant. They seem to move smoothly, filled with good old fashioned self-confidence and composure. Their shoes are shinned with pride…shoes? The Duke Boys don’t wear shoes like that. Wait just a minute now—those can’t be the Dukes of Hazzard County.
Bo has his hair up in a ponytail and Luke does too. Now Bo Duke may not like hair cuts but he would never go that far. As for Luke, he don’t like his hair that long in the back. Luke has gone for the same hair cut every single year. As soon as his mama let him choose his hair cut that is.
Oh boy, there is something else that is weird about the boys. Those boys there are wearing suits. You can tell the clothes they’s wearing don’t come from around here. I know it. These suits are special, they’re not just any suits, I can tell that those are custom made. They have a high-quality fit to them.
Who is that eerie gentleman with them? The guy in the penguin suit, you know the one that is standing in the middle of the boys. He doesn’t look like their father or anything like that. He couldn’t be a member of Hazzard society. He seems to be a little stiff for that.
Is that a butler? Either the Dukes have struck it rich or those ain’t the Dukes of Hazzard County. Look at that butler, he’s opening doors for them. The boys are accepting this courtesy with open arms. No way, now this can’t be the Duke Boys we’re used to.
“Geeves, why in the world are we here in Hazzard County?” The blonde one asked in a Boston like accent. Okay, now I know those ain’t the Dukes.
“Simple, Master Baker. We are dedicating a new race track in this area. That and the limo broke down,” Geeves answered. The guy, who is named Baker, scratched his head and shrugged.
“Couldn’t we have gone to a different town?” The brown haired one questioned. “This one seems so dull.” Hazzard County? Dull, now that’s funny friends. They have never been here before.
“Young Laine…you know as well as I do that I had no choice. I do not choose where we go especially when the car breaks down.”
“I know so, young man. Now we just have to deal with it until that mechanic is finished.”
“Yes, do you trust him?”
“He and his brother seem to be the only ones in town.”
“My brother and I are going to go find the lavatories.”
“Very good sirs, very good.” Baker and Laine walked over to the washrooms just as the real Dukes walked in.
“Uncle Jesse, you really didn’t have to do this,” Bo mumbled.
“For four,” Luke commented as he saw the greeter.
“I mean really Uncle Jesse, this was nice and all but…”
“Oh Bo, don’t be like that, this is celebrating your last day of therapy. The man said you were good at running again and everything,” Jesse replied. They followed the greeter and sat down. “Boys, go use the washroom okay?”
“I don’t want you two to know what I’m ordering you.”
“What are you planning to do?”
“Just scat boys, this was my idea and we wanna order y’all something great for being such wonderful guys,” Daisy cut in. Bo and Luke smiled.
“Yes Daisy,” Luke replied. He pulled up his cousin.
“I don’t even have to go,” Bo answered. They walked over to the bathroom.
“Oh well, they want to make this a secret then we’ll just have to go with it.” Bo smiled. “Besides, who wants to ruin their surprise? It is more fun this way.” Bo shrugged as he opened the door of the bathroom.
“I like surprises.”
“When I tell you what they are.” Luke walked in. Bo mimicked his cousin for a minute and shook his head. As Bo heard two screams, he rushed into the bathroom. As Bo saw Baker standing there, he couldn’t believe it. He stared at Laine.
“WOE are you guys like aliens or something?” Bo questioned.
“Usually I would say that was a very odd topic but under the circumstances…” Baker announced.
“I am Bo, what’s your name?”
“Baker, Baker York.”
“Baker York? Are you kidding me? The one who took over that huge power company is named…”
“Terrance York. That’s right.”
“He makes his boys go to the unveiling ceremonies of his off the wall projects. Like that new race track over in Capital City.”
“Yes, we have to run around the track—racing. You know, I would rather spend all day in the stable taking care of the horses. Right Laine?”
“You got it little brother,” Laine added.
“We are so sick of traveling around everywhere.”
“Never getting to stay with a girl.”
“Never able to do much of anything. All we want is one day where we don’t have to worry about traveling.”
“Just to stay in one place.” Bo and Luke looked at each other and smiled.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking cousin?” Bo asked.
“You better believe it, Bo,” Luke replied.
“Do you boys mind letting us in on it?” Laine questioned.
“Simple Laine, we switch places with you.” Baker and Laine looked at each other. “Think about it, we boys are on probation because of something that we did earlier…running whiskey.”
“Yes and we want to stay in one place which would be pretty easy considering we would be on probation,” Baker answered. Bo eyebrows went up.
“Think about this, we like race tracks and we don’t get to go,” Bo replied.
“With Bo finally at the ripe age of sixteen we can race each other,” Luke added in.
“What an excellent idea! But could we pull it off?” Laine asked.
“Sure we could, Laine. Bo and I have pulled off millions of schemes. Just say, ‘y’all’ a lot and talk with an accent. The rest you will pick up easy.”
“What about you two?”
“Well, I suppose that fancy looking type is a butler of yours. What’s his name?”
“Are you two half brothers?” Bo asked.
“Yes but how did you…?” Baker questioned.
“Oh come on, we ain’t that stupid. Now, you don’t have a mom anymore obviously or she would be traveling with you.”
“The first woman my father married, Laine’s Mom, died in child birth.”
“And the other?”
“Ran off with the mail man before she knew that Dad was the one who got the power company.”
“She tried to come back then I assume?”
“Now, next order of business.” Bo and Luke took out their knives and began cutting the York Boys’ hair off. Soon, Baker and Laine were in Bo and Luke’s clothes. Bo and Luke loved the way they looked so much in the suits.
“Are you sure this will work?” Laine asked.
“Oh it is just a couple of days. I’ll leave something of yours at the restaurant and we’ll have to go all the way back to Hazzard County.”
“That’s where we’ll make the switch right?”
“You’re catching on fast.”
“You two are good teachers. Bo?”
“Anything else we have to know?”
“Yup of course there is.” Bo smiled. “Now, pull out your wallet, Baker—I mean my wallet.” Baker did as he said. They looked at a picture which had Jesse, Daisy, Bo and Luke in it. “Now remember, Jesse is our Uncle.” Bo pointed to Jesse and then to Daisy. “Daisy is our cousin.”
“Don’t kiss her or…”
“Or she’ll think you’re weird,” Luke laughed.
“We had no intention of violating your cousin,” Baker grumbled.
“We were kidding now, good luck.” They all walked out of the bathroom. Bo and Luke sat down at the table with Geeves.
“Bloodcurdling creatures from space—what did you…? Boys, what did you do to your locks of hair? Do you think that your father will be pleased with this new style?” Geeves asked. Bo and Luke stared at each other.
“Now Geeves, you should be more worried about why didn’t we cut our hair up to now,” Luke answered. Geeves seemed bowled over by the comeback. It was so showy and so unexpected that it trapped him, leaving poor Geeves from top to bottom baffled further than ideas could roll in his head.
“I ordered fried chicken for you two.” Bo’s eyebrows rose as a smiled rolled across his face.
Meanwhile on the other side of the restaurant, Baker and Laine were being a little too quiet for Uncle Jesse’s comfort. “Did y’all loose your tongues while you were over there?” Daisy questioned. Baker and Laine shrugged.
“We do apologize Uncle Jesse, Daisy…we are just wiped out,” Baker commented in his best southern voice. Now ain’t this goanna be interesting?
“Wiped out? What the heck did you boys do today that wasn’t different than any other day?” Daisy questioned. Baker swallowed hard.
“Oh, the voyage to the lavatory was riveting,” Laine answered. As Uncle Jesse and Daisy stared at the two they smiled. “You can’t blame a guy for using a colorful vocabulary.
“Colorful, better than I was goanna put it,” Jesse mumbled to Daisy. She began laughing.
“I heard that,” Baker announced. Daisy giggled. “Look, it has been a fun day and I don’t want to ruin it.”
“You told the doc exactly how you were feeling didn’t you?” Baker and Laine stared at each other for a second.
“Yes, we told the doc everything and he said I was fine,” Laine responded. Daisy began laughing and so did Uncle Jesse. Baker swallowed hard.
“Luke I don’t get what you mean. Did you mean to say that you wanted to be like your cousin so you decided to get a check-up? Or were you saying that you are full of beans and are joking with Daisy and me?”
“Well, first off, it’s Daisy and I. Second of all, no I am in no way sick.” Daisy and Jesse looked at each other.
“Since when did you care about how fancy your English was—or is? I have never heard that out of your mouths.” Both boys swallowed hard. They looked at Bo and Luke who waved. The two boys waved back. Daisy jumped.
“Those two look just like you,” Daisy told the group.
“Weird, I was thinking the exact same thing.” Jesse smiled and shook his head. “You know your Grandpa always said that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. Looks like you boys found yours.”
“I don’t think they look like us,” Baker commented.
“Oh boys, stop fighting us on this one. Bo, your wheat blonde hair and Luke, your milk chocolate hair—cut exactly in a similar way. Only them boys have a lot of grease in theirs.”
“Yeah Uncle Jesse, they do don’t they?” Cooter walked into the restaurant. He looked at Geeves and smiled. Uncle Jesse looked over there once again.
“Ah Geeves McFarland?” Cooter asked.
“Yes sir, I am Geeves,” he replied.
“Y’all, your car is fixed which is the good news. The bad news is, your driver ran off with the blonde woman who works in the flower shop. Apparently, I shouldn’t have introduced him.” Bo and Luke bit on their bottom lips as they looked at one another.
“Is there a driver who is smart—that would drive for a fee for the next little while until we can get a new one in Boston?”
“Y’all want me to drive the limo—or the mobile home? I looked under the tarps of the trailer y’all are packing behind and WOOO WEE! Thems are dang good race cars.”
“Do not speak of the boys’ cars in such a manner. Now, I would like to know if you are dependable.”
“Ask anyone in Hazzard—except my brother would eat off my left foot to get this opportunity.” Bo and Luke kept the laughter in once again, hoping not to get noticed.
“I’ll give you time to say goodbye to your family.”
“Thank you sir, I can’t wait.”
“I bet you can’t.” Cooter walked over to the Dukes.
“Can you believe it, that man in the monkey suit has just given me a job,” Cooter announced.
“Good for you! Cooter, you’ll be a great driver,” Daisy said.
“I totally agree. Enjoy yourself Cooter,” Baker added.
“Well I gotta go and talk to ol’ Dodger. He’s goanna be watching shop by himself,” Cooter mumbled. He ran out the door. Baker and Laine smiled as they continued eating.
Well, they got away with it. Even though I know Jesse suspects something, I know it won’t come out for a while. Stay glued to this one y’all, we’ll see how it goes.
As Geeves opened the door for Bo and Luke they laughed. They looked at each other. Now if you know anything about Bo and Luke it is this, they don’t like the rich life. I mean that in the nicest way.
Those boys would rather be trapped in the house all day long than be served. Bo and Luke adore helping other people. They love building things. These two cousins are not used being waited on.
“Geeves, if you don’t mind, I would like to talk to this new driver,” Luke commented in his newly accustomed accent of course.
“Yes, I would like it if you were to have the benefit of the life of lavishness. You do so much for us,” Bo added. He closed the door and reopened it. “For once, we want to serve you.” Geeve’s eyes shifted.
“Is this some sort of deception Master Laine, Master Baker?” Geeves questioned.
“To a certain extent, what you just asked was utterly an incompatible position, Geeves. How dare you assume that I, Baker York, would illustrate a false impression of such magnitude!” Luke couldn’t believe how good Bo was at this rouse. Mostly, they wanted him to sit in the back only because they wanted to talk to Cooter.
“Very good sirs.” As Geeves got into the car, Bo closed the door behind him. Bo opened the door for his cousin.
“After you Laine.”
“Why thank you Baker,” Bo replied. They both began laughing. Luke got in, followed by Bo. Cooter looked at them bowled over because of the behaviors of these two young men.
“Now Gentlemen, now I know I am new at driving hot shots around but ain’t y’all supposed to sit in the back?” Cooter questioned. Bo and Luke began laughing. “Am I missing something?”
“I would say so,” Bo said, still in character.
“Okay, why don’t y’all let me in on it before I make a total fool of myself.”
“Cooter, it’s us. Bo and Luke Duke, the good ol boys. Surprise!” Luke commented, normally. Cooter began shaking his head and started laughing.
“Ain’t this a bolt from the blue!” Cooter shook his head again. He looked at Bo and Luke in the monkey suits. “And they say I’m crazy! What are y’all doing being Baker and Laine? Think about it y’all, if you’re caught…”
“Who said anything about being caught?” Bo’s eyebrows went up.
“Y’all are known for getting trapped by the bad guys.” Bo and Luke shrugged.
“Cooter, them boys we swapped places needed a break,” Bo cut in.
“Uh huh, I am so sure.”
“No really, they were going crazy. I mean for us, the life of racing on tracks and dedicating them is a dream come true,” Luke mumbled.
“Well you know, I understand all of that but I still think you’re nuts. What if you get caught?”
“With the way Luke and me…I mean Luke and I have been talking, they ain’t goanna suspect a thing. Moreover, Uncle Jesse still thinks we’re at home,” Bo added.
“I still think you two are nuts,” Cooter told the boys.
“Well crazy or not, we’re goanna have a blast this weekend.”
“You do know how suspicious Uncle Jesse is don’t ya?”
“He’s goanna catch those two if they don’t do certain things. From what I know about these two, they hate driving in the race tracks. They do a little racing but not much. Now if they don’t go driving in the General…”
“Our goose is cooked.”
“Dang, I never thought about that,” Luke answered.
“They need to be educated.”
“By who—out of everyone you know Bo, who would be the best one to teach them?”
“Not Enos…he can drive but he’s pretty flaky at times.” Luke snapped his fingers.
“I got it, Dodger.”
“My brother? You have got to be a loony. No, I know you are. Now what makes you think Dodger Davenport, my brother can pull off something like this?” Cooter grumbled.
“Simple, he’s a Davenport. When we’re done racing and all that other stuff, we’s goanna gave to give him a call.”
“Alright Luke but I still think this is a bad idea.”
“Cooter, let us do the thinkin’ alright?’ Bo said.
“I guess so…but I am goanna do some thinkin’ of my own. You know, about how to get y’all out of the big mess y’all are goanna get into.”
Meanwhile, back in Hazzard, Baker had just found the horses. He looked at one of them and immediately fell in love. He felt the horse’s beautiful silky mane, caressing it carefully.
“What do you think, Girl, will you let me have a ride?” Baker asked. The horse neighed softly, nuzzling on Baker’s face. He smiled. Never had he been so happy.
There was a knock on the side of the barn. Barker turned quickly. He stared at the young girl who was standing there. She had brown hair and blue eyes. This girl was stunning, more beautiful than any girl Baker had come across.
“Hello stranger, ya wanna ride with me?” The girl asked. Baker smiled.
“Speak your name once, so that I may be blown over,” Baker said, still with a southern accent. The girl giggled.
“Please, if I were to hear your name, it would be like angels singing to me.” She smiled at him.
“Heather, my name is Heather.” Now it was Baker’s turn to smile. His eyes seemed to become softer. He took her hand, holding it with the softest touch.
“Oh Heather, your exquisiteness is more apparent than all the diamonds in the world.” He kissed her hand. Heather’s face turned bright red.
“Bo I am sorry for asking but I have to know, what has gotten into you?” Baker’s eyes shifted. He didn’t know how to answer.
“Well you see Heather…well I think that…”
“Oh never mind, I like whatever you’re doing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I am sure, Bo Duke.”
“You know I could change for you Heather.”
“You don’t need to explain or change.”
“That’s good, because I want to give you all the love in the world.”
“Bo, you talk too much.” Heather kissed him. Baker’s eyes widened. He kissed back for a moment. He finally was released from Heather’s spell.
“You mean I actually got Bo Duke going?”
“Come on Cowboy, let’s get you on a horse. This is fun and all but, your Uncle probably wouldn’t approve of this kind of thing.”
“Uh huh.” Man these boys have some luck. Baker and Heather each picked their horses that they wanted and rode off. Both were talking and laughing away.
Meanwhile in the house, Laine was enjoying himself. Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, this kid hadn’t been a kid for a long time. He was jumping up and down on a bed. Now to many, this would be considered kid’s stuff. Yes, Laine is a teenager not a child.
However, when you have lived in a motor home for a long time, you’ll understand. I know, I have traveled in one a lot. Come on, I am a country singer, of course I have traveled in one a lot. I tell you, there ain’t always much room. You can’t eat without feeling crowded.
Laine was never able to jump on the bed without hitting his head on the top. Well there was one more reason why he wouldn’t jump on the bed. Think about it, would you be able to jump on the bed if Geeves kept saying it was improper? I didn’t think so.
Laine had classical music in the background playing loud. Another thing he was never able to do, Laine could never play loud music. Now he had it on for once. He was pretending to conduct the orchestra as he jumped.
Now let me tell you, this makes me think Cooter was right. I have never seen Luke listen to classical music. Luke has read poetry but that’s the most he has done.
Daisy knocked on the door. Laine jumped his last time and sat on the bed. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. Laine turned off the music and pushed his hair back. Daisy knocked again. Laine pushed his sleeves up.
“Come in Daisy,” Laine mumbled, still in character. Daisy walked in.
“How in the world did you know it was me?” She questioned.
“Simple, Bae—err Bo is out fantasizing about horses.”
“Yeah, I just saw him ride off with Heather.”
“Uncle Jesse said he was going for stamps. He said something about his fingers crossed that they have more than heart stamps. You were the only one who was left.” Daisy started laughing away.
“Oh he doesn’t have any choice in that one. Miss Tizdale has always had a thing for Uncle Jesse…ever since she came here.”
“Dresses up for every occasion?”
“You got that right, Luke.” Daisy looked into his eyes deeply. She seemed confused for a second.
“What is it, Daisy?”
“You know, there’s something different about you.”
“What do you mean by that? I am still the same old Luke Duke. You and I have always been friends.”
“Yeah I know, Luke, I know what you’re saying—but I don’t know what it is—you just seem so…different.”
“What, do you think I switched places with someone in the bathroom?” Daisy shook her head as she smiled.
“Oh never mind Luke, you want to help me make dinner?”
“A home cooked meal? Well I warn you, I haven’t cooked in a while.”
“That’s because you burn jello.” Luke got off the bed and laughed.
“Well who knew it wasn’t supposed to be left on the stove?” Daisy smiled.
“You are crazy, you know that Luke?”
“I am not the crazy one.”
“Yeah I know, Cooter is.”
“Ah…yeah, you’ve got it, Daisy.” They walked out of the room together. Now I think that Laine is falling in love…even if he don’t want to admit it.
He kept staring at Daisy. She seemed so wonderful and kind. Laine couldn’t help look at her. I don’t blame him. She ain’t bad looking. In fact, she’s quite good looking. Come on, I am a man with eyes. I know a pretty gal when I see one.
I think Laine knows a wonderful woman too. A Duke seems to have every quality a person would want. Laine walked down the stairs with her and began cooking with her. “You know, your name is quite appropriate,” Laine commented.
“Oh?” Daisy questioned. “How did you come up with that?”
“Well, a daisy is a beautiful flower.”
“It doesn’t smell very good but yes, it is a beautiful flower.” She began to put flower into a bowl along with other items. “I figured I would make pot pie for Uncle Jesse. I already made the filling.”
“Crust takes a while to bake though…I would have made that first.”
“Oh, the man who burns jello is giving me advice?”
“Who said it is advice?”
“Well…” Daisy reached in and grabbed a handful of flour. She threw it at him. Laine pushed the flour off his eyes. He coughed and it came out of his mouth. Daisy laughed. “That’s what I think of your advice.”
“I see.” Daisy continued making the pie. Laine opened the fridge and noticed a bowl of pudding. He pulled it out and took himself a handful. He smoothed it out on Daisy’s face.
“Oh Luke Duke, this is war.” Daisy grabbed a box of cereal, Laine did the same thing. They began throwing food at each other. The farmhouse door opened as Laine flung another scoop of pudding in the air. It landed on Jesse’s beard.
“Uncle Jesse, we’re so…”
“Umm…Uncle Jesse you see…” Jesse scooped the pudding up and put it in his mouth. He smacked his lips together for a few seconds.
“I haven’t had chocolate pudding in a long time,” Jesse commented. Laine noticed the dark red lipstick on Jesse’s right cheek. “Make sure you clean up your mess.”
“Yes sir.” Daisy and Laine looked at each other after Jesse walked out of the room. “Did you see that?”
“Luke, I ain’t blind…Uncle Jesse got a smoocheroo,” Daisy replied.
“You never know Daisy. Come on, think about it, it could have happened.”
“We better stop thinking about this and clean up before Uncle Jesse’s stun wears off.”
“I think you’re right.” Laine picked up the broom. “The straw like end goes down right?” Daisy began to laugh.
“You’re not funny.”
“I wasn’t trying to be.” Daisy rolled her eyes. “What?”
“Luke, stop kidding around. You know, you don’t always have to imitate Bo when he’s not around.” Laine’s eyes shifted.
“Sure, that is exactly what I am doing.” Daisy grabbed a cloth.
“Come on wonder boy, don’t slack.”
“Look who is talking Chocolate woman. You look like you could be put in an Easter basket.”
“Well Casper, you look like you’re supposed to be in a movie.”
“Better a movie than an Easter basket.” Luke began to sweep up the flour. Daisy started wiping the counters.
“Well, I taste good and look good. People are scared of you.”
“Oh Daisy, I’m a friendly ghost.”
“Just get to work.”
“Okay but I warn you, I am dangerous with a broom.” Daisy started laughing. She shook her head.
“Luke, you’re too full of beans today.” Looking at the cereal, pudding and flour, I wonder how long it will take to get all this cleaned up. Don’t you?
An alarm clock went off that morning in the motor home. Geeves stretched and stood up. He looked up towards the top bunk and then at the bottom. The boys were nowhere to be seen. Neither was Cooter.
Geeves walked out of the motor home and looked around, finally noticing the boys kissing some of the trailer park girls. Cooter was under the hood of the motor home playing with the engine.
“You are supposed to be watching those boys,” Geeves growled. Cooter looked up from the engine. He pushed his hair back, leaving a grease trail on his forehead.
“That wasn’t part of the job description. You were supposed to be watching them. I am supposed to be caring for the cars. I am also supposed to be driving y’all around,” Cooter replied.
“BAKER, LAINE, get over here right now!” Bo and Luke kept kissing the girls. Well come on, if it was between listening to some older stiff or kissing a girl, which one would you do? Uh huh, I have the same ideas here.
“Oh come on, Geeves, let them have some fun here.”
“Look yokel, I am their guardian. I know that doesn’t mean much to you but it means a lot to me.”
“Well if I was the one looking after things…”
“Then don’t ask me to watch over them.” Cooter looked back in the engine. “If I don’t have a say in this situation then you should never ask me to watch ‘em.”
“BAKER, I am not jesting here. LAINE, you don’t want me to call your father do you?” Bo and Luke growled. They knew that Geeves was only doing this because he was their guardian.
They both walked over towards him, staring at Geeves with big eyes. “Good morning Geeves, Luke commented, in his Boston accent.
“That’s all you have to say about your atrocious behavior?” Luke shrugged. “Don’t you two boys know that there could be paparazzi around the corner?”
“Lurking behind the trees yonder? Well Geeves, we let you worry about these senseless fantasies.”
“You were kissing trailer park girls. You know your father has an image to keep. Women from this location are only after one thing, your money.”
“I have to object your most recent observation Geeves, they are girls. How could you label women?” Bo questioned.
“Well Master Baker you see…I don’t have to explain myself. You boys are in trouble.”
“We were just releasing a modest fragment of our hormonal properties to better maintain them.” Cooter began laughing. Geeves cleared his throat. Cooter suddenly stopped, just staring at him.
“This is not a humorous moment, Cooter Davenport.”
“A harmless kiss is nothing to be apprehensive about.”
“One no, however you boys have not mastered the art of self control.”
“Nor shall we unless given the chance,” Luke cut in.
“Very good sir—your suits are laying on your beds. It is time to go and race.”
“Thank you Geeves.” They walked inside the motor home. They turned on the radio onto the oldies station. Bo cranked the music as they changed. Geeves kept knocking on the door. “We are changing still Geeves.”
“Turn it down?”
“What? You’ll have to remain silent until we are done, I cannot hear you,” Bo yelled. Cooter began laughing once again. He shook his head.
“What is so funny?”
“Oh come on Geeves it is effortless to explain something like them. They’s inherited some of Hazzard County’s finer traits,” Cooter commented.
“I knew I should not have stopped in that county.”
“Well if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have a driver would ya now?”
“I do not like your use of articulation.”
“Well get used to it, Geeves.”
“I am going to go take a walk, I will se you later.”
“I’ll see ya later, Geeves ol’ boy.” Cooter closed the hood of the motor home. He wiped his hands on his pants. Geeves shuttered. He walked away.
Back over in Hazzard County, Baker and Laine were doing their everyday jobs around the farm. “What do you think?” Baker asked.
“About what?” Laine questioned.
“Hazzard County, what do you think about it?”
“There is a lot of beauty.”
“You were talking with Daisy almost the entire dinner session. Are you…”
“Now Baker, don’t be stupid.”
“Bo, I am Bo.”
“I know you are. Just do not act so stupid about things. You know as well as I do…”
“I know what I see, Laine—I mean Luke. You like her.”
“You like who?” Daisy asked as she walked in. Laine’s eyes shifted. “Oh come on Luke, I am not an idiot, that’s why you have been acting so different. You’re in love.” Jesse walked into the barn.
“What’s this about Luke being in love?” Jesse questioned. Laine slapped his head.
“I am not in love with anyone. I…” Laine began.
“No, that explains a lot, Luke. When I first met your Aunt, I tried to improve my English. I tried everything I could. She liked me for who I am.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“So, who is the lucky lady?”
“Never mind about that—Bo, let’s go into town and pick up the mail.”
“Yes, that would be fun,” Baker replied. They walked out of the barn.
“Boys, the post office doesn’t open until nine. It is eight,” Daisy commented.
“Oh we know that, we want to—take a drive before then.”
“Alright, I will see you later.”
Back in Capital City, three hours later, the boys were standing on the track in their duds. Bo really liked the race suit. “All I need now is my NASCAR necklace,” Bo whispered into Luke’s ear.
“Well you know that if Uncle Jesse saw you without it, he would know it wasn’t you,” Luke whispered back.
“Hey y’all, let’s go, Geeves is goanna have a heart attack,” Cooter announced.
“You my good man are mistaken,” Geeves mumbled.
“Oh calm down, I wasn’t trying to ruin your good name.” Bo and Luke held in their laughter. “You are the tightest knitted butler I have ever met. Won’t even let a fella kiss someone, how would you feel if you didn’t kiss a hot woman?”
“I have not kissed a woman in a long time. I have been too busy mastering the art of child care.”
“Well maybe you’re mastering the wrong skill, Geeves. You need to go out on a date.”
“That is none of your business, Mr. Davenport.” Bo and Luke walked over to the podium. They looked at all the people sitting there, staring at them.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, as you know our father has given you a brand new race track. Racing is very important to the south and I know you will treat it like you would treat an important piece of art,” Luke commented.
“Now we will open the race track by racing,” Bo added. The crowd cheered. Bo and Luke looked at the ribbon they would race to. The two got into the race car. They started up the engine, and revved it a few times.
Now if Bo and Luke weren’t so worried about their cars, they would have noticed the two odd men. You know, the ones not clapping. Now when you see someone not clapping at a major event there are two main reasons why they wouldn’t.
Reason number one, they’re sick of the noise or just sick in general. Who wants to be happy when noise is driving you bonkers? Noise can make a headache stream up faster than the General drives. If you ain’t feeling good, you wouldn’t feel joyful either would you know?
Reason number two, they are planning something. With the look on these guy’s faces, I think Bo and Luke are in trouble. One man, has dark hair and a large moustache. The other has red hair.
Now they are both looking at Bo and Luke like…well like Roscoe’s hound looks at a bone. “You know, his company is going to pay for what they have done. We were executives and now…” The first one said.
“Rafael, you know as well as I do that we were laundering money. We should have been fired,” The second one said, rubbing his red hair.
“Dale! We were good at our jobs. Mr. Hotstuff fired us personally. I mean that was low. We lost how much money because of him?”
“Now we work at a local restaurant bussing tables. How could corporate hot shots be put there?”
“So what do you propose we do?”
“We’ll give him a chance to return our jobs.”
“If not?” Rafael pointed to the two cars racing around the track. Dale’s eyes widened. “You have got to be kidding me? Kidnap people?”
“It’s the only way, Dale. We can ask for ransom money. We’ll be ahead and most of all, we’ll teach HIM a lesson.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I am. Do you think we’ll ever find another job again?”
“No, we have been in prison.”
“Yes, so never again can we ever find work anywhere.”
“No, we’ll bus tables for the rest of our lives. Living in poverty. I don’t want to live like that.” Dale straightened his hat.
“Nor do I. You know, I went to Boston in hopes of becoming the best in the world.”
“I felt like the chump.”
“We should forget asking him for our jobs.” He sighed. “He will never give them to us.”
“So you want to just take the boys? I mean, grab them when they least expect it?”
“Good idea. Now why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because, I am smart.” Uh oh, under the circumstances, I think Bo and Luke should punch their lights out. Then again, they ain’t seeing what I am. Don’t you go and find yourself a snack y’all. You’ll miss something important.
Dodger walked into the barn at the Duke farm. He watched as Baker and Laine did the chores. “Baker, Laine, y’all do great with the chores but I have seen you drive,” Dodger mumbled.
“How did you…?” Baker asked, still in his southern voice.
“Don’t worry, your secret is still safe. I just need to give y’all some Duke lessons. I am surprised you haven’t been seen through yet.”
“Well so I am I. We were almost caught by our immense English proficiency.”
“Well with all that mumbo jumbo of course y’all are goanna be caught. Now if y’all wanna be Bo and Luke Duke, ya have to develop the Hazzardite way of speech ya understand?”
“Okay, now hop in the General Lee. We’re goanna go driving.” Bo’s cell phone began to ring. Baker grabbed it and stuck it to his ear.
“Hey Baker, it’s Bo. How y’all doing?” Bo questioned.
“Good, just about to go out for some Duke seminars.”
“We wanted to ask, do you mind if we switch for another two weeks? We’re having a ball being you.”
“Hold on.” Baker put a hand over the cell phone. “Laine, he wants to know if the switch can be for two more weeks.”
“Oh of course, I care for Hazzard County,” Laine replied.
“Good, I want to stay too.” Baker took the hand off the cell phone receiver. “Bo, it is a deal, we too want to stay.”
“Oh you won’t regret it,” Bo mumbled.
“I am sure I won’t.” He hung up the phone. Bo smiled as he hung up.
“Luke, we’re staying.”
“So we’re goanna show Geeves a thing or two ain’t we?” Luke questioned.
“Of course we are. Think about it Luke, this guy won’t even let us kiss gals.” Luke began to laugh. He shook his head. “I don’t believe in that.”
“I know you don’t.”
“Luke, stop making fun of me.”
“I am not making fun of you, Bo, I know how much you love women.”
“You know as well as I do I am right. Those boys are like—men who were forced to be priests.” Luke rolled his eyes. “No really. Men should be free to kiss who ever they want whenever they want.” Luke shook his head.
“I am more concerned about these boys never seeing their father.”
“You know, I barely ever see mine. He dumped me for some reason.”
“He was selfish, he wanted an army life not a family life.”
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“That’s what he said.”
“You know as well as I do sometimes people don’t say what they mean.”
“Well why do you think Uncle Cameron left then? Do you think some alien was controlling his body? Ooo, maybe he was an alien and so are you. Maybe if he stayed with you he would like try to eat you or something.”
“Now who is making fun of whom?”
“I was just teasing Luke.”
“Look, I don’t think it was because of Mom dying or the fact that he wanted to go back to the armed forces.”
“Why do you think he would have done it?”
“I don’t know—maybe one day I will investigate it. Right now, I don’t even want to know.”
“Ain’t you the least bit curious?”
“Luke you have no idea what kind of gift you have.”
“What gift? A father who dumped me? How is that a gift? That’s a curse, Bo Duke. He didn’t want me. He didn’t want me, he didn’t want Vance. Dad didn’t even want you or Coy. How is that a blessing?”
“You have a blood relation, a father, who is still alive. Mine are both dead. I have barely any memory of them.”
“I don’t have many memories of my Dad either.” Bo shook his head as he sighed. “Bo, I’m sorry I…”
“Luke, you will never understand, you honestly won’t. When you do, come and tell me how you and your Dad were friends again.”
Back in Hazzard County, Baker was sitting in the front seat of the General Lee. He was about to make his first flight—in a car that is. Now I tell you friends, this is always a great moment. Not just for Dukes but for any person.
Taking flight in a car is not only a fun experience; you also get to see more. I love flying with the boys…yeah, I have done it quite a few times.
“Give it some gas,” Dodger told him. Baker nodded, doing as the mechanic told him. The General Lee went up in the air, flying. Baker’s eyes widened and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
“Do Bo and Luke do this all the time?” Baker asked.
“Oh yeah. Now we’re goanna try more. Don’t worry, this has all been done before. General Lee can take it.” Now young Baker found himself going on two wheels. He began swaying the car and doing major turns. Don’t worry y’all, Laine tried it too.
“Dodger, I never knew how much fun a car could be,” Laine commented.
“Yes, I agree with my brother, this car is amazing. Laine, you are doing a great job driving,” Baker announced. Dodger smiled. Laine looked in his review mirror as he heard sirens.
“Should I pull off to the side of the road to let him pass?”
“No, he’s chasing you,” Dodger pointed out. Laine scratched his head.
“Now, why would someone be chasing me?”
“Roscoe probably made the sign change back there again. Trust me, you don’t want him to catch you. Think of it as bumper cars, you don’t want him to hit you or it is no fun.”
“Okay, Dodger.” Laine sped up and turned completely around, heading right towards Roscoe.
“Uh, what are you doing?”
“The bumper car statement gave me an idea.”
“Does this idea involve us getting killed?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t thought it completely through.” Dodger closed his eyes. Baker kept his wide open, wanting to experience everything Hazzard like.
In Roscoe’s car, Roscoe was looking at Flash. “Oh Flash, they’re coming to be arrested, khee ooh I love it I love it,” Roscoe said. Laine kept driving towards him. Flash barked twice. “Ooo, they’re not stopping. We’re goanna crash OOOOOO!”
Roscoe swerved out of the way and landed in the ditch. The butt of his police car was sticking in the air. He got out and fell into the ditch. Roscoe began waving his fist. He shook his head. As he did, Flash fell out of the car into Roscoe’s arms.
Back in the General, Baker was laughing. Dodger still was cowering in the corner seat of the General Lee. Laine shook his head as Baker continued to laugh.
“You can open your eyes now, Dodger,” Laine said.
“We’re not dead?” Dodger asked.
“Not yet, Dodger,” Baker laughed. Dodger finally opened his eyes.
“Heh, heh, I knew that.”
“Sure you did Dodger.”
“No I did know that, honest I did.”
“Next you’re goanna tell us you weren’t afraid.”
“HEY! Baker, you sounded Duke. I’m very impressed. Not many people can get it this right. Dang, you sounded just like Bo right there.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Y’all wanna go and do some Hazzard Adventure hunting?” Laine questioned.
“Of course I do.”
“Alright, I’ll drive.”
“You are driving, Luke.”
“I know I am driving.” Laine began laughing. He shook his head as he took another turn.
“Then why the heck did ya say that you were goanna drive if you were?”
“Well simple, I am supposed to be like Bo and Luke. They’s would talk like that.” Dodger laughed as Baker looked at him.
“You know, your brother’s right,” Dodger mumbled.
“Yeah but I don’t like to hear that.”
“I don’t like to hear when my brother’s right either y’all. I mean that’s a crime to any person.”
“Yeah, Dodge is right, it can be a crime to any given person,” Laine commented.
“Sure is, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out.” They sped off. Now friends, considering trouble is around the corner, Baker and Laine are having a lot of entertaining moments, don’t ya think?
I am just glad they ain’t in Bo and Luke’s place. You know how much trouble those boys are in, don’t ya? Hang on y’all this is goanna be quite the ride.
It had been a week since they phoned Baker and Laine. Bo and Luke looked out the window. The sign said, 110 miles to Boston. The phone in the back rang. “Hello?” Luke answered.
“Laine, hi, how are you son?” A strange voice said.
“Father, what a surprise, what are you doing calling us?”
“Laine, I have just met the girl of my dreams and I am going to marry her.”
“Congratulations, how did you meet her?”
“I was walking in Chicago and some man held a gun to my head.”
“That must have been frightful.”
“Oh it really truly was. He asked me to give him all of my money. I was about to loose hope when a girl, from out of nowhere, knocked the gun out of his hands. Afterward, she took me up to her apartment.”
“Carla and I talked all night long. By the end of the evening, we shared an embrace and kissed. Oh I feel so full of delight.”
“Woe, Carla, Carla who?”
“Her name is Carla Duke. Does the name not sway off your tongue?”
“Hold on a minute.” Luke covered the receiver. “Bo, our Auntie Cara is getting married to Terrance York.”
“WHAT?” Bo questioned.
“Yeah, what a surprise this’ll be for the York Boys.”
“You’re telling me. If I heard Uncle Jesse was getting married I’d…”
“You would ask to be his best man.”
“Well refrain from talking to me and chatter to him for a spell will ya? Don’t you think he’ll find the situation a little odd if his son doesn’t wanna talk?”
“Good point.” Luke put the receiver back to his ear. “Sorry Father, I was talking to Baker, I told him the good news.”
“Now, you will have a new step-sister but you won’t see her very often. She lives in a county called Hazzard.”
“We stopped there before.”
“Excellent. I believe you saw her there in Hazzard County then. She is a predominate inhabitant there.”
“Yes, her name is Daisy Duke. She is quite the young woman. She has brown hair and blue eyes.”
“Yeah, there are a lot of people like that, Father.” All of a sudden, the car began to turn sharply. The phone dropped out of Luke’s hand. The breaks were applied hard. Bo slammed into the window in the back of the limo. He fell back onto the seat.
“Okay, that hurt,” Bo mumbled. Luke was about to pick up the phone when the driver of the motor home crashed into the back of the limo. Smoke filled the back of the car itself.
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.” The doors if the limo were opened. Two men wearing mask grabbed Bo and Luke. “WHO ARE YOU?”
“Let us go.” One pointed a gun to Luke’s head and the other to Bo. Just to let you know, the one holding the gun to Luke’s head is Dale. The other guy…well, you know his name, Rafael.
Cooter got out of the car. He hit the gun out Dale’s hand and punched him in the face. Rafael shot in the air. “Don’t you try and play hero, driver or this one dies,” Rafael announced as Dale picked his gun back up.
“If you hurt him I’ll…” Cooter began.
“You’ll what? Come after us? Unlikely that you will be able to keep up with us, driver. Now, turn around.” Cooter folded his arms. “Are you unable to hear or naturally unintelligent? I said, turn around!” Rafael pointed the gun at Bo’s head again.
“Okay, just don’t hurt him.” Cooter turned as he was told. Rafael hit Cooter hard with the butt of the gun and then hit Bo. Luke struggled to get out of Dale’s arms.
“You won’t get away with this!” Luke exclaimed in his Boston accent.
“We won’t will we?” Dale asked.
“No, we have people who will come after us.”
“Don’t worry, rich boy…no one will know where to find you,” Rafael cut in.
“Oh you wanna make a bet?”
“Dale, hit him!”
“Yes Rafael, no problem,” Dale replied as he hoisted Luke higher. Dale took the butt of the gun and hit Luke as hard as he could. Rafael smiled.
“This was easier than pie.”
“Easier I think.” Rafael shot out their tires. “This is going to be great. We’re going to have the money we deserve.”
“We sure are.”
“Then we’ll go to Mexico.”
“Yep.” They threw Bo and Luke in the back of the truck. “Back to where my people came from.”
“His money is going to be worth a lot more down there.”
“Sure is.” Dale drove the truck down the road. “We’ll be more rich than most people I know.”
“And we will never speak of that jerk again. We have got him cornered.”
“Yes we sure do. We have got the edge, his kids. We’re going to use that edge too for everything it is worth.”
“And then some.”
“No one will ever talk bad about us again. They’ll all be looking to us. We’re have Terrance down on his knees.”
“What a sweet revenge that will be!” Now friends, I am seriously wondering what is goanna happen.
Think about it, they’s got the wrong boys. If it were Laine and Baker before they came to Hazzard County, they’s would have been in big trouble. Bo and Luke are tough cookies and can get out of just about anything. Y’all know what I’m saying?
However, you also know that these ain’t just some dumb dudes, they’s goanna get ready to fight back and when they do…well let’s just say there ain’t goanna be a sissy war here.
Over in Hazzard, Daisy was talking on the phone with her mother who was very excited. The boys just walked in the room. They sat down beside their “cousin”. Baker put his feet up. Laine shook his head and smiled.
“Mom, I would love to be your flower girl. What is his name?” Daisy began.
“Terrance York,” Cara answered her daughter.
“Terrance York? Ain’t that the name of that billionaire—the owner of the power company?” Baker and Laine looked at each other.
“Yes Daisy, that is the one. Look honey, I have sent tickets for all of you to come down. Bo and Luke…Jesse Duke. I sweet talked Boss Hogg into letting them go, Bo and Luke I mean. It wasn’t too hard.”
“I bet.” Daisy began laughing. “He would mail us there personally if he could.”
“Oh, Terrance is back in the room, I have got to go.”
“Okay, talk to you later, bye.” Daisy hung up the phone. She smiled at Baker and Laine. They were a little confused. “Can you believe it? My Ma is goanna get married.”
“That’s wonderful Daisy…did your mama talk about when she met this Terrance Fella?” Baker asked.
“Oh Bo, don’t be so defensive. Mama loves him and that’s what’s important. She wants me to be in the wedding party. Y’all are goanna be too, I just know it.”
“That’ll be a riot.” Laine leaned into Baker’s ear.
“Looks like Luke doesn’t need to come back for the switch anymore,” Laine whispered. Baker laughed.
“What’s so dang funny, Laine?” Daisy asked. Baker and Laine shrugged. The phone rang. Daisy picked it up. “Hello Duke residence, Daisy speaking.”
“Hey Daisy, its Cooter, are the boys with you?” Cooter questioned.
“Yeah sure, sitting right beside me.” Daisy flipped her hair back.
“I need to talk to them now!” Daisy’s eyes shifted she paused for a second. “Come on Daisy, I don’t have time to spare. Give the phone to Bo now!”
“Okay, okay…keep your pants on Cooter Davenport.” Daisy gave the receiver over to Baker.
“Hello?” Baker questioned.
“Baker, its Cooter Davenport talking to ya. I know, you don’t know too much about me but you have got to pay attention. Bo and Luke have been taken hostage,” Cooter began. Baker’s eyes widened.
“Just a little while ago. Dang it, I am over at your place and your Dad is going nuts. He has no idea where they are or who would have taken them. There’s police everywhere.”
“Cooter, slow down.” Baker paused and took a deep breath. He let it out real slow. “Look, what do you want me to do about it?”
“There’s only one thing we can do. You have to tell Jesse Duke the truth.”
“Cooter, I can’t do that—I mean we can’t do that. We’ll get in big trouble.”
“Look, the police just equals trouble for the party. I know as well as the next man that they will say, ‘if you bring police into the picture they’re dead.’ That’s just the way it is, Baker. We need the Dukes.”
“Fine, I will tell Jesse.” Baker hung up the phone.
“Tell him what?” Daisy questioned.
“Luke, Laine and Baker have been kidnapped.” Laine’s eyes widened.
“WHAT?” Laine questioned.
“Yeah, they have been kidnapped. Cooter says the only way to help them is to talk to Uncle Jesse.”
“About our secret?” Baker nodded.
“I’m missing something…what is going on? Who are Laine and Baker?” Daisy asked. Baker and Laine walked away from her, going towards the living room where Uncle Jesse was reading the paper. “Get back here!”
“Uncle Jesse we need to talk to you and Daisy both. It is a might important.”
“Okay Luke,” Jesse commented.
“First off, let’s start with my name—I am not Luke Duke. I am Laine York. My father is Terrance York, the one your mother is going to marry, Daisy,” Laine said in his normal voice. Daisy’s eyes widened.
“Okay, who is this then?”
“Baker, my half brother—now Jesse…”
“Call me Uncle Jesse if you will. Y’all are goanna be family anyway…might as well keep it up then.”
“Okay, Uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke decided to switch places with us. We thought it would be the most fun adventure. I had never had more fun in my life. What I heard from Dodger Davenport, Bo and Luke had a mutual amount of fun.”
“I am glad they were enjoying themselves.”
“I knew my left toe was bugging me for some reason. What trouble are they in and how can we help?”
“How did you…?”
“Are you kidding me? After being a Duke for so long, I know when there is trouble.”
“Bo and Luke have been kidnapped. They think that your boys are us.”
“So we need to go to Boston then?”
“Yes, we need to save your boys.”
“Saddle up Dukes.”
“One problem, we know about the finances of the Dukes. They’re good but not…amazing enough to pull something like that off,” Baker commented in his normal voice.
“Uncle Jesse, Baker’s right,” Daisy added.
“Well we may not be able to afford tickets but how about Jack?” Jesse questioned.
“He would give us the chopper but who would fly it?” Baker and Laine looked at each other and smiled. “Are you two kidding me?” They shook their heads no.
“Why would I fool around at a time like this?” Laine asked.
“Do you think this will work Laine?”
“It has to Daisy, I mean the boys are resourceful. They’ll be able to figure out a way out if they can. Knowing them, they are probably working on it.”
“You’re right, it is Bo and Luke. My cousins are smarter than most people I know. They can handle almost any situation.”
“Yes, with what Dodger has told us, they can handle everything and anything,” Baker added in.
“Yes?” The boys said at the same time.
“You know, I love your accents.” Laine and Baker looked at each other and smiled.
“Let’s not concentrate on us, let’s think about the boys,” Laine laughed.
“I can’t wait to see what happens,” Uncle Jesse commented. Oh me neither. Now I am paying attention aren’t you? I mean really, think about everything that is going on. Terrance still thinks his sons are in bondage.
These boys are goanna continue playing Duke. Laine and Baker know they have to help their friends. After all, how would they have even known what fun was if it wasn’t for Bo and Luke? Yep. They wanted to help their new found friends.
Baker and Laine weren’t going to let Bo and Luke get into anymore trouble than they were already in. Now friends that is what I call a true friendship. How many people in this world have one of those?
I hope Bo and Luke are safe until the rest of the Dukes come to their rescue. I can’t say much about that one. The boys are smart. They’ll keep alive. Bo and Luke always seem to be able to do that one. So hang onto something y’all, this is goanna be a fun ride.
Bo’s eyes leisurely opened. He stared at his cousin Luke who was already wide awake. Bo open and closed his eyes a few times, clearing his vision. He smiled at his cousin.
“Took you long enough,” Luke grumbled. Bo looked at his surroundings. He was on a bed with ropes tied on his hands. He began laughing. “What is so funny?”
“Didn’t you look at your hands yet?” Bo questioned. Luke looked down and now was laughing too.
“I didn’t see that.” Bo and Luke both wiggled a little bit and somehow got out of the ropes. “They may be good with a smoke bomb but…”
“I agree with you Luke, they are bad at tying a knot.” Luke laughed and shook his head. “I can’t believe it, Luke.”
“Can’t believe what?”
“I think you’re loosing your touch.”
“How so, Bo Duke? I ain’t ever lost my touch in all the years you have known me.”
“No you are, you’re loosing your touch faster than Flash gets her fleas.”
“In what way do you think I am loosing my touch?”
“It took me waking up for you to find out about the ropes being painless to unknot.”
“You’re not funny, Bo.” They stood up and looked around. Luke smiled. “I don’t think I am loosing my touch.”
“Why do you figure that one?”
“We’re in attic and by the looks of things, we can only get out if he opens the hatch thingy.”
“Thingy? Is that even a word, Luke?”
“I don’t know, sounds like one to me.”
“Okay, so how do you want to do this? Do you wanna rush them or what?”
“Hide behind the wall.” Bo did as his cousin said. Both Rafael and Dale opened the door and climbed up. Bo and Luke hit them both hard. They began to run out of the house. All of a sudden, Bo’s pant leg got stuck on a nail. He began to pull and pull.
Luke saw that his cousin wasn’t behind him. He walked over to Bo, pulling at the stuck pant leg. They heard the gun as the safety was released. Bo and Luke put their hands in the air.
“Well, well, looks like SOMEBODY doesn’t know how to tie a knot,” Rafael grumbled.
“But Rafael…” Dale began.
“No problem Rafael you said. They’re as good as tied up Rafael. What kind of an executive are you? You can’t even tie a simple knot?”
“Look, you may be top dog but you don’t have to make fun of me like that. I am not an idiot. We’ll just take them back up and tie them again.”
“No Dale, you will keep a gun on them. I will tie them up.”
“Yes Rafael, whatever you say, Rafael.”
“Don’t be cheeky, you’re the one that messed up.” Bo and Luke began to laugh.
“What are you laughing at rich boy?”
“I am laughing at the miserable trade you have taken on,” Luke said, with a Boston accent. Dale shook his head.
“YOU BETTER MOVE!”
“Whatever you say, Dale.” The boys walked up the stairs back to the attic. They lay back down on the beds and stare at the baddies. Rafael grabbed the ropes on the floor. Dale continued to point that gun.
“You boys won’t get out this time,” Rafael laughed. He started tying Luke up. “Unlike Dale here, I am good with my knots.”
“Do not be too sure of yourself, smiley. We may be prosperous young men but we are in no way dim-witted,” Bo said, still in character. He was watching how Rafael tied his cousin up.
“Well we’re going to get the money from your father. Then we will be rid of you. How do you like that?”
“Just fine Rafael, I like it just fine.”
“Yes, think about it, we can get out of almost anything. We got out of your last knots.” As Rafael finished with Luke, he hit Bo in the face hard, once again knocking him out.
“I hate loud mouths.”
“You know, you will not ever get away with this,” Luke said, in a Boston accent. Rafael rolled his eyes as he began tying up Bo.
“Yes, I am convinced I won’t. However, let’s take as fact that I am triumphant. With the video I have given your father, he won’t involve police.”
“Maybe not but he has enough family to save us.” Rafael laughed.
“Family is useless against a good gun.”
“You do not know my family, do you?”
“No, I have never met anyone except your father.”
“Well then, you are missing out on a treat. My family is strong.” Rafael laughed hard.
“Sure rich boy.” He finished tying Bo up.
“They will take you and spit you out like a sunflower seed.”
“Your family means nothing to me.” Luke shook his head. “You family will never be able to save you now. I don’t care who you think you are.” He walked out of the room. Luke stared at his cousin and smiled softly.
“We’ll get out of this Bo, I know we will.” Well, let’s hope Luke is right. I really hope he is, don’t you?
Daisy looked at the view as she stared out the window. She smiled as she pointed to a large house sitting in Boston. “Is that yours?” She yelled over the sound of the propeller. Laine nodded.
“Yep, this is our place, Daisy,” Laine yelled back. Baker pushed a few buttons and smiled.
“Time to land,” Baker commented. Jesse held on tight. His eyes widened.
“I like flying in cars way better,” Jesse screamed. Laine shook his head and smiled. Baker landed the helicopter with ease. They all got out of the seats. Terrance ran out as he looked at the helicopter.
“Do you people realize that this is private property?” Terrance said. He looked at the boys and his eyes widened. “You two must be Bo and Luke. It is nice to meet you.” Terrance put out his hand.
Laine and Baker were about to say something when Jesse elbowed him. “Yep, these are my boys,” Jesse told Terrance. Baker and Laine looked at each other. “They have been my pride and joy for a while. This is Daisy, your future stepfather, Terrance.”
“Nice to meet you, Terrance,” Daisy commented. She shook his hand, as did his sons. Baker couldn’t believe that Jesse kept them under raps. Terrance and Daisy walked ahead. Baker and Laine stayed behind.
“Why didn’t you let us tell him?” Laine questioned Jesse.
“Yeah Jesse, why?” Baker asked.
“Simple, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He already thinks y’all are missing. He will be upset if he knew you switched places. I figured I didn’t have to ruin a good thing,” Jesse replied.
“You know, I figure Bo and Luke did it for a good reason and most of the time, I trust their judgment.” They walked into the huge house. Jesse seemed in awe. He couldn’t believe how huge it was.
Cara was sitting on the large velvet chesterfield. Her daughter walked over and sat beside her mom. Daisy seemed uncomfortable, thinking about the boys tied up. She tried not to show it.
“I wish we could have met in better stances…my boys have been kidnapped. I am going to the bank to get the money to give these crooks,” Terrance declared.
“No, your sons wouldn’t want you to do that and I know it,” Baker said, still acting like Bo.
“Well what else can I do?”
“Did they give you a note or did they…”
“Excellent, give it to Daisy. She can find where the boys are. We’ll launch a rescue with Cooter’s help.”
“I’m in y’all,” Cooter commented.
“Do you have a computer, Terrance?” Daisy asked.
“Yes, I do have a very good computer. It has DVD taping capabilities and everything else,” Terrance replied.
“Great.” Terrance gave her the DVD. “Okay, now give me an hour, I’ll be able to give you some sort of location, okay?”
“Daisy, when did you learn how to do this?” Cara asked.
“That’s my secret.” Cara smiled. She rubbed her daughter’s hair. Daisy stood up. “I’ll see y’all in a bit.”
Meanwhile, in the house Bo and Luke were trapped at, Bo was again just coming to. He looked at his cousin who was snoozing away. Bo shrugged gently. He cleared his throat and tried to sit up.
“Luke, wake up you ignoramus!” Bo yelled. Luke jumped almost immediately. He shook his head, breathing hard for a second. Luke opened his eyes and looked at his cousin.
“What did you call me?” Luke said, drowsily. Bo growled. “Oh come on Bo, can’t a man be tired?”
“We don’t have time to be tired. Now, I watched how he tied his knots and…”
“He tied them well. We’re not going to be able to get out of them. I already know that.”
“Oh come on Luke, that’s not what I was goanna say.”
“Well then what were you goanna say?” Bo smiled as he looked at his steal toe boots that he was wearing. “You’re goanna kick the ropes off.”
“Then what are you goanna do?”
“I am surprised you haven’t figured it out already.”
“Am I supposed to read your mind every time you have a thought?”
“What are you goanna do eat your arm off?” Bo laughed as she shook his head no. “I don’t get it, what do you want to do to get out of here?”
“Luke, remember when we switched clothes with Laine and Baker?”
“Of course I do.”
“I kept my lucky knife.” Luke shook his head. “What?”
“Well what if Uncle Jesse could have seen the fact that you didn’t have it? What would have happened then huh?”
“Oh stop worrying about them.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“Luke, think about this for one millisecond. Baker and Laine may love our life but they wouldn’t stay that way all the time.”
“They’ve been discovered by now. Cooter was there and saw us when we were kidnapped.”
“So what if he did?”
“Duh, if he saw us get taken by those dudes, he’s goanna bring in the best people. That would be our family.”
“I see, he would have to tell Uncle Jesse to get him down there with Daisy.”
“They’re here in Boston trying to make a plan.”
“Cooter would never let anything happen to his buddies!”
“I think the yoga classes I have been taking are finally goanna pay off.”
“You know, to get the knife. Personally I think it was the best physical therapy that I could ever get. I think it was the yoga that really turned me around.”
“The only REASON you took those classes were so that you could meet girls.” Bo’s whole face was filled with a smile. Yep, if you found a class with girls stretching in all directions, wouldn’t you wanna join?
“So, you live breathe and think girls.”
“There’s no reason why that should be a problem.”
“Well maybe if you spend more time thinking than with girls we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“Come on Luke, it is the yoga that is goanna save our cans. I do mean that in the nicest way. It is handy ain’t it? I think it is. Bending in all directions?”
“So, watch this.” Bo breathed in and out in a smooth steady rhythm. He began to lift his legs higher and higher.
“That’s sick.” Bo ignored his cousin’s comment. He continued to lift his legs.
“It may be sick but it is working.” Bo grabbed his pocket knife. He opened it with one hand as he put his feet down. “You see?”
“Yeah, you really are a lucky guy you know that?”
“I know I am.” Bo began to cut through the ropes. “I have always been lucky.”
“Yeah you have.” Bo finally finished. He stretched back and forth. “Hey, stretch, do you mind helping your cousin out?”
“Well should I? Then again, you insulted me. You said that yoga was gross.”
“Okay, I’m coming.” Bo walked over and untied his cousin. “You know, this doesn’t seem to be working well. We get out of the ropes and then go down.”
“Well we can’t go up, Bo. Unless you just wanna squeeze through that tiny little window, yonder.” Luke pointed to the small window. Bo shrugged.
“No, I don’t.”
“Well it was worth a shot.”
“You fit through a small window? I don’t think so.”
“Can’t I try?”
“No way.” You know folks, I wonder if Bo could fit through that window, don’t you? You never know with him. As Luke always says, Bo can do almost anything he puts his mind to. Maybe this is one of those things. Then again, not even Luke believes he can pull off this one.
Daisy called everyone upstairs. You know as well as I do, they all came running. The group all seemed to have their attention centered on the computer. Young Daisy Duke didn’t have the monitor on. “What did you find, Daisy girl?” Jesse asked his niece.
Daisy put her attention to Terrance. “Terrance, do you have any enemies lurking around the corner?” Daisy questioned. Terrance shrugged.
“Everyone on this earth has some sort of adversary,” Terrance replied. Daisy’s head seemed to lean to one side, signaling something or other.
“No, I mean someone in your corporation that you might have fired. You know, people like that.”
“There were two people working in my company who were laundering money but I hardly think…”
“Terrance, look, this is how it works. You fire the badly behaved boys. These guys have lost the one thing that means something to them, their power.”
“I do not see what this has to do with the ones I have fired.”
“Oh it has plenty to do with them.” Daisy took a deep breath and let it out leisurely. “They come after something that means something to you. That’s why they took your boys.”
“Now that you know they why, I want to know the where.” Daisy smiled mischievously. She rubbed her hands together quickly and suddenly stopped. “What?”
“Well that one is easy to figure out.” Daisy pushed the button of the computer screen. “First I had to know who did it. When I saw the presentation of the random demands, I knew that it was some sort of corporate hot shot.”
“The editing they did. These men presented it like it was some sort of commercial. They also tried to edit out sounds in the background. I cleaned up the works, and restored it.”
“What do you think I found as a predominate sound?”
“I have no idea.”
“Ambulances…I heard a lot of ambulances. They were all going to the same place. Therefore, they must be by a hospital.”
“That doesn’t explain exactly where they are.”
“Oh pretty close. If I zoom in here…” Daisy pushed a few buttons, causing the screen to become larger. “You see the mail box?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“They tried to hide that too. But here’s a mailbox which gives us another clue. There is also a lot of cat meows in the background.”
“In the city, cats seem to go where there’s a lot of food.”
“That’s very true.”
“Therefore, Baker and Laine are close to a hospital. They are also close to a restaurant and across from a mail box.”
“Well done Daisy, I think you have solved our mystery.” Daisy nodded. “You should be a private eye.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t like traveling.” Cara shook her head as she smiled.
“You know, I was going to ask you Daisy if you wanted to move in with Terrance and me,” Cara commented.
“You know I couldn’t leave Hazzard,” Daisy replied.
“Yes, I do know. I said I was GOING to ask you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I see that you are settled where you are.” Cara put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Daisy smiled. “I think that Hazzard County has been a great influence.”
“That’s nice to hear Mom.” Cara turned her head towards her big brother, Jesse Duke. The look on this woman’s face was one of pure delight.
“Jesse, you’re doing a wonderful job with my daughter. She is turning out to be a very wise young woman.”
“Why thank you Cara,” Jesse mumbled.
“Hey, I mean it. You are a great parent and I am sorry for ever doubting you.”
“Forget about it Cara.”
“I can’t, you have been such a joy to my daughter. She loves where she is. Daisy always needed something more than I could ever give to her.”
“Thank you very much, that is an honor coming from you, Cara.”
“Enough complimenting each other, we got kin to save,” Baker cut in. Daisy laughed. He did sound a lot like Bo. She was pleased to see that quality in him.
“I agree with Bo here, Baker and Laine come first. We have got to get out there,” Daisy mumbled.
“I’ll go with Jesse,” Cooter cut in.
“Bo and me will go together in a car,” Laine added.
“Actually, Cooter, I think you should go with me,” Geeves jumped in.
“Why in the world would I go with you?” Cooter hissed.
“I know my way around.”
“So what you needle nose…”
“Oh come on, don’t fight y’all. I think Geeves is right. Cooter, you should go with him,” Baker announced.
“No buts, you know as well as I do he’s the best help you have got.”
“The most annoying one too.”
“Luke, you should travel with Uncle Jesse. We do know Boston better than he does considering Mom took us here quite a few times.”
“Got it,” Laine replied.
“I will go with Daisy. Terrance and Cara will stay here and be at home base.”
“We can handle ourselves on this end,” Cara mumbled.
“Now, do you have Walky Talkies?” Laine asked Terrance.
“Do I have Walky Talkies?” Terrance laughed.
“I take that as a yes.”
“I am glad, that was a total yes. Are you sure you guys can get them home?”
“Oh please, we’re professionals.”
“Yeah, Geeves and I can take them out ourselves,” Cooter announced.
“Quite so,” Geeves added.
“Well maybe Geeves might slow me down a little.”
“No sir, you would slow me down, you grease monkey.”
“Who are you calling a grease monkey you penguin!” Y’all know this is going to go on for a little while. So we’ll just leave it at that.
Now this is turning out to be quite the adventure. Do y’all realize that this all started with Bo ending his physical therapy? Oh well, they’re all happy I think. Man, I wish I was in Boston right now, this could be fun.
Back to the Duke boys, Bo and Luke stood at the doors. Luke figured if they would fall for it once, they would fall for it again. Bo on the other hand thought his cousin was nuts for using the same plan twice.
Dale wasn’t the smartest cookie in the bunch. Come on folks, I knew that as well as Luke did. Sure, Dale had some smarts but kidnapping skills were out of his league. Anyone could tell that one.
As Dale walked in, they knocked him down. The boys ran down the stairs with speed. They heard the gun’s safety go off. Rafael laughed. “You boys have got to be kidding me. You think you can get out the same way twice?” Rafael questioned.
“Hey, do not make fun of my cousin’s plan. Some people are mindless enough to fall for it,” Bo growled, still in character.
“I don’t care what you think. I am not stupid. Bo looked at the wall. “You know, I was the top executive in the company.”
“Which one the toy department?” Bo saw a loose nail and pulled it out. He put it in his shirt pocket. “You know, approximately one or two idiots can master the talent of pushing a button. I trust your secretary did all of the labor.”
“You would wouldn’t you?” Luke stared at his cousin for a second. Bo winked, showing that he wasn’t afraid in the least.
“Of course, you look like too much of a delegate. It is pleasurable to be the delegate, constantly handing off his jobs to others.”
“I am not interested in your politics.”
“Your brain is too thick for my politics, Rafael.”
“Yes Baker, do close your mouth before you get us in trouble,” Luke said with a harsh Boston tone.
“Now tell me, how did you get out of those ropes?” Rafael pointed the gun at Bo’s head. Luke’s eyes shifted. He shook his head. “Or should I exterminate your brother?”
“NO! We had a knife.” Rafael growled at Dale.
“No problem, Rafael, you said. I will check for weapons, Rafael, you said.”
“Well—you see—I checked their clothes,” Dale said in his defense.
“You are useless.”
“I was the best at keeping the money, Rafael. I am just no good at this crummy stuff.”
“Dale, you couldn’t do a simple task. This is the second time they have gotten out. What’s more, they cut the ropes which means they can’t be used again.”
“So what are we going to do now?”
“Handcuffs, we’ll, as in you and I, will handcuff them to the bed post…unless you can’t handle that one.”
“Oh I can do that one, Rafael, I really can.” Rafael rolled his eyes. Dale pointed the gun at Bo and Luke. He took them upstairs. Rafael followed behind them, not taking any chances.
Bo and Luke were once again locked up. Bo stuck out his tongue at the two. Rafael shook his head softly. He couldn’t believe all of this was going on. They were a couple of rich boys. Rafael figured this was goanna be an easy job.
Well what Rafael didn’t know was that these weren’t the rich boys. These were Duke Boys. You don’t mess with Duke boys…no matter how smart you think you are. Most people in Hazzard know that. However, these boys ain’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed.
Bo and Luke stared at each other for a second. As Dale and Rafael disappeared, Bo roared with laughter. Luke growled at his cousin. Now if you were chained to a bed and your cousin was laughing, wouldn’t you be upset? I think I would.
“How can you laugh at a time like this?” Luke questioned. Bo shook his head.
“Oh come on cousin, you have to lighten up a bit,” Bo replied. Now it was Luke’s turn to shake his head. Bo’s comment didn’t make him feel too hot.
“What do you mean lighten up? I am calm and collective. You’re the one who is batty. Look at ya. You’re laughing.”
“Well I have good reason to laugh.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“While he wasn’t looking, I grabbed a nail. Rafael thinks he is a great deal smarter than Dale but he ain’t. In fact, I think that man is just as dumb.” Luke crocked an eyebrow.
“Bo, a nail ain’t goanna do you much good. What are you goanna do, gouge his eyes out?”
“I am goanna pick the lock.” Luke shook his head. He stared at his cousin for a second. “What?”
“I know I really shouldn’t ask.”
“Well do it anyway.”
“Where did you learn how to pick a lock?” Bo smiled and winked.
“That’s for me to know and for you never to find out.” Bo thrusts his chest in the air a couple of times. The nail starts to come out of his shirt pocket.
“You’re impossible, you know that?” Bo continued what he was doing until the nail was high enough for him to grab with his teeth.
Downstairs, Cooter was dressed in a suit and holding a suitcase. He had a fake beard on him. Cooter was also wearing sunglasses. Geeves had a wig on and, was standing right beside Cooter. Now folks, if you’re wondering what is going on, so am I.
They knocked on the door of the house Bo and Luke were in. You could hear someone grumble from behind the woodwork. The door opened. “What do you want?” Rafael questioned.
“Hello, I am from the pulp and paper factory. We are selling a new brand of paper that will really knock your socks off. YAHOO, I do love selling my paper,” Cooter said, with a major Texan accent.
“Now sir, I have a hungry baby to feed. You need to listen to my ideas.” At the back door, Daisy just jimmied the lock, a skill she picked up from Bo. She took out a set of fire crackers and lit them. She ran out of the door.
As they began to fire off, both Geeves and Cooter fell to the ground. Well Rafael and Dale went to the ground just as fast if not faster. Cooter and Geeves grabbed the guns.
“Baker, Laine, where are you two at? Can you boys hear me? Baker, Laine?” Geeves questioned.
“UP HERE GEEVES!” Luke screamed.
“Cooter, cover me, I am going to get the boys out.” Cooter nodded.
“Now y’all just stay here okay? We’ll wait for the police to up and grab you two,” Cooter laughed. Geeves walked up the stairs. He found the latch and let the stairs fly downward. Bo and Luke walked down.
“Are you two alright?”
“Geeves, I have never in all my life been happier to see you,” Bo commented, still acting the part of Baker.
“Master Baker, Master Laine…let’s go home.”
Bo and Luke traded clothes with Baker and Laine. They looked at each other. Bo seemed happy to be in his old clothes again. He bent and moved around a lot. Baker straightened his suit jacket.
Luke didn’t pay too much attention to his cousin. He continued getting dressed. Laine stared at Luke for a second, smiling away. “So how was it like?” Laine asked Luke.
“Oh it was fun. Geeves almost had a heart attack when y’all didn’t listen to every word that he said,” Luke replied.
“You two probably have given us a little freedom and for that I am grateful.”
“Y’all must have done some things that were pretty interesting too.”
“Never once have I been surrounded by so much love. Your Uncle Jesse was such a wonderful person to us. Daisy…we had a food fight. I have never had one before.”
“Good, you deserve some sort of fun.”
“I never knew soaring in an automobile was so full of excitement. Having Roscoe chase behind is a delight. I in no way knew racing a car could be so entertaining.”
On the other side of the room, a conversation was rolling. “If Heather comes up to you and wonders what is going on please…” Baker began.
“You were kissing my girl?” Bo said with anger. Baker pulled away. Bo laughed and began to smile. “Just kidding, don’t take things so seriously.”
“I’m sorry, I am still not used to the whole Duke charm.”
“Well, you seemed to fit in just fine at my place. You liked her a lot then?”
“We went horse back riding every single day. I loved it.”
“I bet you did. You see? Hazzard ain’t as boring as you thought huh?”
“No, it was amusing. Everything was fantastic.”
“How did you like Dodger?”
“He has quite the personality. He and Cooter are a lot alike I have discovered.”
“Oh they are.”
“Cooter and Geeves are finally starting to get along huh?”
“Only a little bit.”
“And only because they have to.” Bo and Baker began to laugh.
Well, a couple weeks passed. You should have seen the wedding party. I am telling you, it was quite the sight to say the least. Bo senior giving his daughter Cara Duke away was such a joy to watch. That’s right, I was front row center for this wedding.
Baker’s three cousins stood beside Daisy. Bo and Luke kept elbowing Baker and Laine. This made it pretty interesting—especially when Uncle Jesse had to clear his throat in the middle of it. The boys knew what that one meant. They stayed still for the rest of the wedding. Even though I could almost see Bo Duke’s legs buckling.
Soon it didn’t matter. Cara was married and that’s all there was to it. She was now Cara York—not Duke. Daisy didn’t mind that change—so long as she could keep her last name. I mean after having the same one for so long, would you wanna change it? I didn’t think so.
Daisy got a present from her new stepfather. I couldn’t believe what she had received. A brand new Jeep, with a jersey cow painted on the front end. It had the word, “Dolly” on it. Bo and Luke were jealous of course. It was a beautiful white jeep…a total off road vehicle. Bo and Luke would have to accept it, after all, she did save their bacon.
After the wedding, everyone had to head back to their places. Well but not before a long heartfelt goodbye. Bo, Luke, Uncle Jesse and Daisy went back to Hazzard County. The boys had to borrow a car from Cooter since they totaled it in a drag race against…oh wait, that’s another story, for Hazzard County.