by: Keith

October 5, 1984

ACT 3

(Fade In)

(The scene is the Dukes’ barn the next morning at dawn. Al appears next to Sam as he bails hay.)

AL: Morning, Sam.

SAM: Mornin’, Al.

(Al looks Sam up and down)

AL: Been up all night worrying about Bo, huh?

SAM: No. What makes you say that?

AL: Well, for one thing, you haven’t changed your clothes since yesterday.

SAM: (matter-of-factly) Yes, I have.

AL: (with one eyebrow raised) ….But it looks like….

SAM: I know. Luke has six shirts in his dresser, Al. They all look alike.

AL: They all look exactly alike?

SAM: (making deliberate eye contact with Al) To the stitch.

AL: Anyway, have you figured out what you’re going to do about Bo yet?

SAM: Not yet. I thought about talking to him right after Thompson makes the offer tomorrow. The only problem is, how do I explain how I know that he’s going to die?

AL: Yeah, you got a point there. (pauses to think) Hey, I got it. Bo and Luke are a team, right? So, what if you convince Bo to tell Thompson he’ll only go if you’re…uh, Luke is part of the deal? I mean, they made it pretty obvious that they only need one man. If Luke was there, it might spoil their whole plan.

SAM: On the other hand, they might do whatever they have to to keep Luke out of the way. They’re obviously willing to sacrafice Bo. I can’t imagine that harming Luke would be any burden on their conscience.

AL: Well you’d better think of something fast. You basically only have today to cinvince Bo not to take Thompson’s place on the racing circuit. He’s gonna show up here sometime tomorrow, and we have no idea when that will be.

SAM: (with a look of realization on his face) I got it! What if I just take Bo out of town for a couple of days? If he’s not here, he can’t accept the offer, right?

AL: That’s not a bad idea. Let me run it by Ziggy. (pokes at handlink) Uh oh. One of the terms of Bo and Luke’s probation is that they can’t leave the county without written permission from their probation officer. Care to guess who that is?

SAM: Don’t tell me….J.D. Hogg?

AL: Bingo. Besides, if Bo isn’t around, who’s to say Thompson won’t just find someone else to take the fall for him?

SAM: And I’d be sending them to die instead of Bo.

AL: Right. Listen, I’m gonna go back and talk to Luke again and see if he can think of a way to help you save Bo. And while I’m at it, I’ll have Ziggy run a few scenarios too.

(Al pokes at the handlink and the imaging chamber door opens behind him)

AL: I’ll be back as soon as I have something for you.

(Imaging chamber door closes, leaving Sam by himself. Fade to two hours later. Sam is in the Dukes’ bathroom washing up for breakfast. After drying his face with a towel, he sees Luke for the first time in the small mirror over the sink. He thinks to himself while he washes)

SAM: (thinking) The thing I’d always loved most about doing the farm chores back in Indiana was that they gave you plenty of time to think. This morning was no different. After two hours of trying to find ways to talk Bo out of going back to the Nascar circuit, it finally hit me that maybe the best approach wasn’t to prevent it, but to let him accept it and then find some way to get enough evidence to talk him out of it. The only snag would be finding a reason to tell everyone about why I was suspiscious of Thompson without causing Bo to suspect that I was just trying to ruin things for him. I just hoped that the Duke family unity was strong enough to allow them all to listen to Luke and trust his instincts.

(Sam walks into the kitchen and finds Uncle Jesse pouring himself a cup of coffee while Daisy cooks breakfast)

SAM: Mornin’.

DAISY: Hey, Luke. Whaddaya want for breakfast, sugar?

SAM: Whatever you’re makin’ is fine.

DAISY: (wincing slightly) I’m makin’ grits and molasses for Uncle Jesse.

SAM: (thinking) The expression on Daisy’s face, combined with the tone of her voice told me that grits and molasses was not on Luke’s list of favorites. I figured I’d better opt for something a bit more traditional. (to Daisy) Bacon and eggs?

DAISY: (smiles) You got it.

UNCLE JESSE: You kids don’t know good food when ya taste it. (to Sam) You was up aweful early this mornin’.

SAM: (shrugs) Yeah, I guess I was. I had a lot on my mind, so I figured I’d get an early start on the chores.

UNCLE JESSE: A lot on your mind, huh? Somethin’ you wanna talk about?

SAM: ….I got this feelin’ I ain’t been able to shake the past couple o’ days….

(Our view switches slighty to see Al standing behind Sam, to his left)

AL: You “ain’t been able to shake”? Sounds like someone’s merging with Luke.

(Sam jumps in his seat, startled by Al. At the same time Al speaks, Rosco’s patrol car pulls up with the siren blaring. Uncle Jesse stands and goes to the window to see Boss Hogg and Rosco approaching the house)

UNCLE JESSE: What in tarnation do them two want at this hour?!

(Switch to an exterior view of the house. Uncle Jesse and Daisy come out)

UNCLE JESSE: J.D.! What’s the big idea comin’ here at this hour and blastin’ that siren like that?!

(Switch back to the kitchen, where Sam and Al are talking)

SAM: Who are those two?

AL: Ah, that would be the comedy stylings of the local law enforcement.

SAM: What?

AL: Never mind. Listen, I’m here because I just got through talking to Luke in the waiting room and he’s pretty sure he knows how to solve this pretty easy.

SAM: I already figured out how to solve it. All I need from you is proof.

AL: What kind of proof?

SAM: Rather than trying to talk Bo out of accepting the offer when I have no logical reason he’d understand, I figure I should let him take it and have you and Ziggy find the proof I need of Thompson’s true intentions. Then I just show Bo the proof and he can back out of the deal. What do you think?

AL:….I think I like Luke’s plan better.

(Sam gives Al an aggravated look)

AL: And I’m glad those two are here, because they’re a big part of it.

SAM: What are they doing here, anyway?

AL: Well, if I’m right, they’re here to tell Bo about the offer.

SAM: You said that wasn’t supposed to happen until tomorrow.

AL: I also said that these small towns kept lousy records. And that guy in the white suit out there, he’s the county commissioner. He fits every stereotype of crooked small town law. So if he doesn’t want it recorded, it doesn’t get recorded. And if it doesn’t get recorded, we don’t know about it. and if we don’t know about it….

SAM: Ok ok…I get the idea. So how does Luke think we should handle this?

AL: Ok, according to Luke, despite the fact that Jesse and that Hogg guy out there used to be ridge runners together, there’s no love lost between them. And Bo or any of the other Dukes wouldn’t want anything to do with any deal that involved him. So you just gotta get out there before Bo, listen to the deal, and turn it down on Bo’s behalf.

SAM: Won’t Bo be a little upset about that?

AL: Well, Luke says he tends to be the voice of reason in the family. So if he tells Bo that he was just looking out for him, he might not be so angry.

SAM: (pauses to look outside) You really think that will work?

AL: (shrugs) I think it’s the best shot we’ve got.

(Sam exits the house to join the group outside)

SAM: What’s goin’ on?

UNCLE JESSE: Luke, J.D.’s here on behalf of a Nascar driver named Bob Thompson…

AL: Sam, Luke would know who that is, so you might wanna act kind of impressed.

SAM: (wide-eyed) THE Bob Thompson??

AL: I said “kind of impressed”, not like he’s the second coming.

BOSS HOGG: The very same.

SAM: What does a professional driver want with us? And more importantly, why did he come to you about it instead of finding us, personal?

(Bo comes outside and joins the group)

BO: Mornin, y’all. What’s goin’ on?

UNCLE JESSE: Uh, Bo, J.D. is here to talk to ya on behalf of Bob Thompson.

BO: Bob Thompson? (to Sam) Luke, ain’t he a driver on the pro circuit.

SAM: Yeah, he is. But Boss still ain’t told us what this is all about.

AL: Sam, I’ve never been so relieved to see you merge with someone.

BOSS HOGG: (overdoing kindness) Bo, I couldn’t be more pleased to bring you the news I got for ya right now. On behalf of the afore mentioned Bob Thompson, I’m offerin’ you the chance to officially wave your probation to take his place on the racing circuit.

BO: (confused) Take his place on the racin’ circuit? What for?

UNCLE JESSE: Uh, J.D. says Mr Thompson wants to retire next month, but his car’s doin’ so good this year that he doesn’t want to forefit his position in the roster. He asked all around the circuit and your name came up over and over as the best man to do the job. So now he wants you to finish the season for him.

DAISY: Waddaya think, Bo?

BO: Shoot, the offer sounds mighty temptin’. Waddaya think, Luke?

SAM: Well, for starters, I think I’d like to hear the offer straight from the horse’s mouth.

BO: Yeah, that ain’t a bad idea. Say, Boss, why don’t you let Mr. Thompson come out here and make the offer himself?

SAM: Better yet, why don’t you just tell us where Mr. Thompson is and we’ll go see him.

BOSS HOGG: Alright, fine. You just do that. He’s stayin’ at the Hazzard Hotel, room 12.

UNCLE JESSE: Alright, J.D., you got our answer. We’ll go talk to Thompson ourselves just as soon as we talk this whole thing over. Meantime, we got chores to do. Come on, kids.

(Uncle Jesse leads Bo, Sam, and Daisy back into the house. Boss Hogg and Rosco get into the patrol car)

BOSS HOGG: Dang blast it, Rosco! I almost had ’em!

ROSCO: I don’t get it, Boss. What are you so uptight about? They didn’t say no.

BOSS HOGG: Yeah, but they’re gonna. Rosco, what happens anytime them Dukes talk anything over?

ROSCO: They wreck one of yer little schemes and cost ya a bundle of money.

BOSS HOGG: (frustrated) No, you knucklehead, I mean besides that! They do whateva’s (with a disgusted look) best for the family. And we both know that Bo goin’ back on the pro circuit ain’t gonna be what’s best! I had one chance to get Bo Duke to take that offer on a snap decision and I lost it. (does his pouting routine)

(Switch to inside the Duke house as the family finishes breakfast. Al stands at the opposite end of the table from Uncle Jesse and is torn between listening to the conversation and staring at Daisy.)

UNCLE JESSE: Bo, you ain’t hardly touched your breakfast. You thinkin’ about that offer?

BO: Yessir. Somethin’ about it just don’t add up.

DAISY: Like what, Bo?

BO: Well, I’m real happy that Bob Thompson has so much faith in me that he wants me to finish the season for him, but the season’s only three more months. I mean, what could be so important about next month that he can’t just wait it out and finish the season himself?

AL: Here’s your opening, Sam. He’s doubting whether he should go or not. (the handlink starts to whale and screech wildly in Al’s hand) What the hell….?

SAM: (to Bo) Good question. I think you owe it to yourself to ask Mr. Thompson that when we see him.

AL: Sam, something big must have happened between that conversation outside and what Bo just said because we’re teetering between two timelines here, and Ziggy’s going bananas trying to lay odds on one or the other. (pokes at handlink and the imaging chamber door opens behind him) I’m gonna go give Gooshie a hand with this. I’ll be back as soon as we figure out what’s what here. (Imaging chamber door closes.)

SAM: Well, why don’t we head over to the Hazzard Hotel and see Mr. Thompson for ourselves? After that, maybe it’ll be a little easier for you to make your decision.

(Bo and Sam exit)

DAISY: Uncle Jesse, do you think Bob Thompson’s offer is on the up and up?

UNCLE JESSE: (shrugs) Hard to tell. Bo’s got a point about there only bein’ three months left in the racin’ season. On the other hand, Thompson may have his reasons for not wantin’ to wait that long. We’ll just have to wait for the boys to get back so we can find out. (Stands and starts picking up dishes) But until they do, we got chores to do. Let’s get these dishes cleaned up and get to ’em.

(Scene switches to Bo and Sam approaching room 12 of the Hazzard Hotel)

BO: Well, this is it. The moment of truth….

(Bo goes to knock on the door, but Sam grabs his arm to stop him)

BO: What’s the matter?

SAM: Ssshhhh….listen.

(Bo and Sam hear the muffled voices of Thompson and his partner from inside the room.)

PARTNER: Bob, have you thought about what you’re gonna do if this Duke kid turns you down?

THOMPSON: I’m not worried about it. But if he does, I got a whole list of retired drivers and wannabees I can put in his place.

BO: Luke, I’m likin’ this deal less and less every second.

PARTNER: But can any of those other guys drive like you?

THOMPSON: What’s it matter? They only gotta be good for one race anyway. We’ll be in the stands watchin’ them crash and burn instead of me, then it’s goodbye gambling debt….hello, Switzerland.

BO: Dangit, I knew there had to be somethin’ more to this.

SAM: Sssshhhh….keep your voice down. Listen, we can’t just walk away from this. You heard them. If they don’t sign you, they’ll just sign someone else, and that person will die instead of you.

BO: Yeah, you’re right. We better get back to the farm and let Uncle Jesse and Daisy in on this. Maybe they can help us think up a plan to stop ’em.

(Al appears next to Sam)

AL: Sam! You and Bo gotta get the hell outta here now!!

SAM: Why? What’s the matter?

BO: What’s the matter?….you heard them two in there!

AL: You changed history, that’s what was drivin’ Ziggy nuts. I don’t know what you said or did that caused it, but Bo never makes it to the Nascar circuit.

SAM: What happens instead?

(Thompson’s partner comes bursting through the door and points a gun at Bo and Sam.)

PARTNER: Hold it right there, you two!

(Al gets a distressed look on his face)

AL: You’re both about to get shot.

(Bo and Sam develop panicked expression and slowly put their hands up. Focus on Sam sighly heavily in defeat)

FADE OUT

End Act 3