Rage Against the Machine – Hazzard Style

RobotPColtraneOne of the most infamous episodes of The Dukes of Hazzard is “Robot P. Coltrane.” The plot: A robot takes Rosco’s place as Sheriff of Hazzard County. This episode was cringe-worthy on so many levels that we can’t begin to list them here. But the premise itself isn’t as far-fetched as we once thought.

On July 7, 2016, a 300-lb security robot at the Stanford Shopping Center in California struck a toddler and ran over the boy’s leg. Knightscope

Fortunately, the child didn’t receive serious injuries, but the incident has raised serious questions about replacing human judgement and reflexes with an automated chunk of plastic.

We’re not touching the whole Dallas police robot thing, because that robot was basically a glorified remote-control unit. It was armed, yes, but it was under human control. The judgment that led to the death of the combatant was human.

Whereas the robot that plowed into the child was on its own. Perhaps it couldn’t “see” the child in its visual field, because the child was too small, and too close to the unit. Or, it may have incorrectly anticipated the child’s direction. Worst-case scenario, it perceived the child as a suspicious person and was zeroing in for a closer look.

Of course, the developers are saying this was a fluke. Their robots are safe and smart. Blah-blah. Look, it’s a robot. All you need to do to defeat this rolling menace, is shove a Hefty trash bag over its head, and it won’t be able to see a damn thing. Whup-de-doo, technology.

For cryin’ out loud, give the mall Rosco his job back.


The World Without the Dukes of Hazzard.

Dukes of Hazzrd fanfic.comAbout a year ago, the Dukes of Hazzard came under fire for its flagrant use of the rebel flag, which in the show, depicted nothing more than Southern spirit.

Dukes reruns were pulled off the air, and Dukes merchandise disappeared from store shelves.

A wave of political correctness swept clean this bastion of good ol’ boy Americana, despite it never meanin’ no harm.

A year later, the Great Southern Purge has rendered the nation in no better shape. The political and social forces of the country are more violent, divisive and polarizing than they were before.

The “love thy neighbor” message of the Dukes of Hazzard is sorely needed today. More than ever.

And so, after a long hiatus, we’ve turned the lights back on, unfurled our rebel flag, and cracked open a fresh beer. Our politically-incorrect asses are back in the chairs. We now resume our mission: to promote and preserve the Dukes of Hazzard. We hope to make people smile along the way.

Stay tuned for memories, memes and the usual random nonsense. Oh, and by the way…Yeeehaaaa!

Dukes of Hazzard fanfic.com



The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down – the Banning of the Dukes of Hazzard

GLbyHeathdroDeviantArtTelevision shows don’t get much more innocent than The Dukes of Hazzard. The heroes in Dukes didn’t carry guns; they didn’t backtalk their elders; they helped their friends and neighbors; they were kind to animals; they befriended strangers in need.

These distinctions did not save the show from the rash of political correctness raging through corporate America. During June 2015, TV Land quietly stopped airing the Dukes of Hazzard. While no official explanation was given, it’s clear the rebel flag adorning the roof of the General Lee was the reason.

The purging didn’t stop there. Barnes & Noble, Target and other retailers pulled Dukes of Hazzard DVD’s off the shelves, preventing them from being purchased. A Barnes & Noble employee told us directly that the DVD’s were being pulled and shipped back to the distribution warehouse. We can only speculate that they will be disposed of and written off as unsalable merchandise.

Amazon is still selling the series, but some seasons are getting hard to find, and resellers are marking up remaining copies far above typical price. There is speculation that Warner Bros. will not permit any further printing of Dukes of Hazzard DVD’s after the existing retail supply is exhausted.

While the majority of Americans think that picking on The Dukes of Hazzard is going too far with the purging of the rebel flag, there seems to be little hope for the future of Hazzard County.

Ben Jones continues to speak out against the pointless censorship of all things bearing the rebel battle flag, but despite his valid points, no one is listening. The assault against the flag continues unabated; it is not allowed defense. Merely allowing the flag to exist anywhere, in any form, other than a museum, is politically incorrect – and therefore disallowed.

When political correctness controls us, when censorship becomes the order of the day, when history and its monuments are erased…we become something worse than what we’re trying to hide. Today it’s a rebel flag. Soon, it will be some other symbol that holds the potential to offend. Maybe it’s a cross. Maybe it’s a sports logo. Quick, sanitize our municipal displays, change our team names and mascots…oh wait, we’re doing that already.

So where does it end?

Who decides what can be expressed, purchased, viewed? Under what conditions?

The government? Corporations? Special interest groups?

Or you?

End of the Road for the General Lee

After 36 years as an American icon, recognized and beloved around the world, the General Lee, as we know it, is no more.

Before we go further, let us remember the victims of the event that sparked the social and political firestorm.

On June 17, 2015, a racist punk killed 9 innocent people at the Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC. 5 others were wounded. This horrific act was a hate crime against God-fearing, law-abiding citizens in a holy sanctuary. We encourage you to view the slideshow and learn about the lives that were lost. Too little has been said about the victims during a politically-charged week.

The shooter has had more attention. 21-year old Dylann Roof, an unemployed high-school school drop-out, drug-user and white supremacist, used the money he got for his 21st birthday to buy a .45-caliber Glock handgun. He bought it legally, and used it to carry out his rampage. In the days that followed his capture, photos emerged of him alongside of a Confederate flag.

An appalled nation reacted swiftly: the rebel flag bore the blame. Let’s face it, discussion of any type of gun control is taboo. Blaming the killer’s family, for giving him money for an unnamed purpose, is also impolite. Blaming the system for letting him roam loose after there were ample warning signs can’t be done. How about blaming the shooter?

Instead, in a well-intended surge of social outrage, demands to remove the Confederate battle flag – and historic Confederate landmarks – were loudly issued. A politician led the charge, and a groundswell of support rapidly followed.

Amazon, Walmart and ebay announced they would cease sales of any rebel flag products. Flag manufacturers promised to stop making rebel flags. And finally, Warner Bros. announced it would no longer allow production of any General Lee products bearing the rebel flag. Apple then pulled gaming apps that were Civil-War themed. A New York Times article went further and suggested that “Gone with the Wind” should be banned, because it “romanticized” slavery.

Recently, a Pittsburgh t-shirt store that planned to use a General Lee for promotional purposes, canceled the car’s appearance, and arranged for a “Bluesmobile” instead. All this, in less than a week.

Attacking the rebel flag – and all things related to the South, in fact or fiction, isn’t going to solve anything. In the zeal to purge society of people like Dylann Roof, they are hanging Bo Duke. This misdirected activism will not prevent future mass shootings. It will not prevent acts of police brutality, and it will not cure racism.

In the rush for a politically-correct response to a senseless act of violence, some well-meaning folks are rebflagshowing intolerance for a differing opinion about the rebel battle flag.

To Dukes of Hazzard fans, the rebel flag is a good ol’ boy thing, never meaning no harm. It’s a banner of Southern pride. The epitome of rebel spirit. Fightin’ the system. Defiance against the odds. Never give up.

We know this flag has been used by others for vile purposes, purposes that we do NOT agree with. We respect opposing viewpoints. But attempting to sanitize everything that might be deemed offensive will only lead to ruin. Banning symbols, banning books, removing monuments, and eliminating toys and games is its own brand of oppression.

In Memory of James Best, Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane

RoscoFlash040715James Best, known as “Jimmie” to his friends, passed away April 6, 2015, at the age of 88. He is most famous for his role as Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane in The Dukes of Hazzard. He appeared in numerous TV shows and movies during his long entertainment career.

And that’s about as much as we can write with dry eyes. Please excuse us as we chuck journalism right out the window and share our hearts. There is nothing we can say to do justice to how much Jimmie is loved by his family, friends and fans.

As we write this, our Facebook page post about his passing is being filled with heartfelt comments from fans around the world. There isn’t a Dukes page that isn’t full of sympathies and memories. Jimmie’s website has an elaborate and well-written James Best obituary that you can read for details about his life and career.

We were fortunate enough to spend some personal time with Jimmie over the years. We had moments with the real man, not the celebrity, and we saw him when he was happy, or tired, laughing, or pissed off. He was human. He had his dreams and his frustrations. Fine points and flaws. But most of all, he was chock full of love. Love for people, children, dogs, animals, nature, fishing, art….we can’t list it all. His heart was incredible. We believe his capacity for love and humor was the secret to his long and successful life.

Jimmie had a zest for living – including a very earthly sense of humor – and he had a tremendous sense of adventure. He was extremely talented and creative. He also had great personal courage, and it enabled him to overcome adversity and chase his dreams. (most of them, we’re happy to say, he caught!)

Jimmie loved making people laugh. He loved to laugh right along with them.There were times that Jimmie would be tired and frustrated, and say that he wanted to be remembered for more than just being Rosco. Yet moments later he would slip into Rosco-mode, easily, on a whim, and send whatever serious thoughts you might have had, flying out the window. He would do this without warning, and if it made you screw up the phone call you were trying to make, that was a bonus.

Jimmie, we love ya, and we’re going to tell you now, what we told you back during a DukesFest in Sperryville.

There is nothing wrong with being remembered as Rosco P. Coltrane, who brought laughter and smiles to people around the world. Who became part of a pop-culture phenomenon that lives on decades later. You breathed your heart and soul into a character and made him unforgettable. Rosco is a legacy, and he’ll live on forever.

Jimmie, you leave behind a legacy of laughter and love. You leave behind heartbroken family, friends and fans who aren’t ready to say goodbye, though we knew this day was coming. Right now, you’re probably fishing on a beautiful, pristine lake with some old friends who have been waiting patiently for you. We’ll miss you, Jimmie, more than our poor words can express. We love you. Thank you for giving us Rosco, who’s here to make us smile through our tears.

God bless.