by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County y’all. I’m sure you’re wondering what today holds but I have said it once and I’ll say it again—Hazzard is a funny place. You never know what could happen and how long it will take to stir up. Take these vicious characters sitting by Hazzard Creek. Now they look like just everyday fishermen.

Don’t be fooled though. Remember y’all, this is Hazzard County after all. That there sitting with the boys is the one and only Dewey Hogg. Now Dewey Hogg is about as welcomed in Hazzard County as an outhouse breeze.

As you can remember, Dewey Hogg gave Bo and Luke a run for their money last time. Now that it’s Bo and no Luke, I just wonder how long it will take them to notice. Especially since Dewey doesn’t look like he’s making his move.

Yep Dewey was fishing alright—fishing for trouble. I knew that look. He seemed to feel that there wasn’t a trouble in the world. This usually meant that he was cookin’ up something on the whole that will be full of trouble.

“Why are you back in Hazzard?” One of Dewey’s henchmen asked. Dewey sighed as he put the back of his head on his left arm.

“For good reasons George. Think about it. Rosco Coltrane is about as smart as a doorknob. Then again, a doorknob could just be smarter,” Dewey replied. He leaned back on the shadowy bottle green grass now in good spirits. Now you know that smile doesn’t mean he’s excited about the Easter bunny.

“Do you think we can get away with it?”

“Please, I’m a Hogg. The only thing we love more than money is scheming in regards to getting more money.” Now friends, you know that he’s right.

“You’re right Boss.” George laughed without hesitation. “I think with your brains we can really do this thing.”

“But of course.” This Hogg is up to no good. I just know somehow the Dukes are goanna get

Well, meanwhile, there was something happening at the Duke farm. Nancy-Lou had been working out hard for a marathon she wanted to run for the children’s center over in Chickabe County. Now Nancy-Lou was quite the runner. Bo didn’t want her to enter the race in the first place.

Though in recent times, he didn’t even try to tell Nancy-Lou off. Nancy was moodier than a hound dog with fleas. Ah, don’t tell her I told you that. Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen don’t mess with any critter whose moods are like that. “Hey hun,” Bo carelessly said, going to kiss his wife. Nancy pulled away. “What the heck did I do?”

“Oh do I have to explain not wanting to be kissed when I’m all sweaty?” Nancy-Lou began.

“No but I would…”

“It’s always about you, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t say…”

“Bo, I’m sick and tired of you trying to stop me from working out.” Bo crocked an eyebrow. “What is wrong with you now?” Bo shrugged as he looked down at his feet. Nancy-Lou tapped her foot slowly, waiting for a response. Now didn’t I tell you she was in a bad mood?

“Nothing.” Nancy began to cry. Bo looked more or less mortified at the sight of this. “Oh sweet heart, don’t cry. I hate to see you cry. Whatever I did I’m sorry.”

“Why was I so lucky? I mean how did I get you?” Bo began to laugh. As he did, Nancy-Lou began to laugh and cry at the same time. “I’m crazy aren’t I?”

“You ain’t anything. You are magnificent.”

“No, I’m crazy. I can’t help it you know.”

“I know that, you’re a Davenport, they’re made that way.” Nancy-Lou placed her hands on her hips.

“So you think I’m crazy AND my whole family’s crazy?” Nancy-Lou broke down, continuing to cry. All Bo could do was laugh. “What is so funny?

“I love you. I love your crazy family. I love everything about you. Can you believe I love you when you’re crazy too.” Nancy-Lou began to cry even harder. “Oh hun, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry. I just…well, I love you a lot.”

“Look, I think you’ve had a long day. You’ve just been super tired and you haven’t been feeling well. Maybe you should see the doc. He’ll know how to patch you up.” Nancy-Lou kissed her husband.

“You’re so patient with me.”

“Sometimes I am, Nancy-Lou.” Nancy stared deep into Bo’s eyes. She began to play with his curly locks. Nancy-Lou smiled.

“How could I ever get along without you?” Bo shrugged gently. A grin rolled across his face. Nancy-Lou kissed her husband kindheartedly.

They looked into each other’s eyes as they continued to kiss. Unexpectedly, Bo’s left eye twitched. Now y’all, a woman knows when something’s going on with her husband and believe you me, something was going on.

“What is it?” Nancy-Lou questioned, her face now full of concern.

“My big toe is hurting.” Nancy-Lou shook her head. She sighed to herself. Bo nodded his head peacefully. “You know what that means.”

“Trouble and lots of it for Hazzard County; that’s what.”

“I should take you to the doctor though.”

“Bo, something’s cooking in Hazzard County, if your toe is telling you so then you know that you have to scoot. If you don’t the whole place could be in shambles.”

“I’m sure Hazzard can live without the Dukes for one day.”

“Are you kidding me? You remember what happened last time? Look, I’ll be fine. Why don’t you go into town? I’ll take the pickup and talk to the doctor about some blood tests or whatever he can to find out why I have been throwing up so much.”

“Are you sure? I mean I could go out with you.” Nancy-Lou shook her head. She stared at Bo for a minute and then smiled. Now you can see the love on their faces. Nancy will always love Bo a lot won’t she?

“Yes, I’m very sure.” Bo kissed Nancy-Lou. Now ain’t that nice? Even when Nancy-Lou is crazy and Hazzard County is in trouble, there is still time for love. Y’all hold onto your seats, bathroom time ain’t recommended at this part of the show.

Now Bo of course went to see BB Davenport. Now if anyone is going to know what happens in Hazzard County it would be your local mechanic. You think he’s just working on cars? Heck no. When a gal wants gossip she goes to a beauty parlor. If folks want true hardcore facts they see their local mechanic.

BB Davenport sees and hears more than ol Cletus does any day. And why? Well people trust him of course. BB is one of the best. However, when you go to see BB it is to do with the garage.

Of course Bo didn’t want to seem like he was just asking BB for the low down. So what does he do? What any warm hearted country boy would do. “Hey BB. I was wondering if you have any rims for sale. General needs to look fighting fresh for when he rides.” BB Shifts his eyes. Now folks, a Davenport know when a Duke wants something more than what he’s asking for.

“Well, I do always carry enough rims to fit an army of Generals. Y’all go through more tires than a factory,” BB replied.

“Awesome.” Bo went silent for a moment. Trying to think of more to say. Now you know Bo is really curious. “If I left the General with you, could you fit him some new ones?”

“Does a duck have feathers?”

“Awesome.” Bo rolls his foot in the soiled oil lying on the floor. Yep, you can see it in his eyes. Ol BB knows Bo ain’t gonna come right out with it. Heck, when ol Uncle Jesse, God rest’em, was around he had the same trouble.

“Anything else?”

“Well, now that you mention it, you haven’t heard of any disturbances happening in Hazzard County have you?”

“Disturbances no—however, I did hear a name I haven’t heard in a dog’s age.”

“What’s that?”

“Dewey Hogg.” Uh huh, you could see the shiver going up and down Bo’s spine. It ain’t because he was cold neither. Now he knew that if Dewey was in town to see ol Boss Rosco it wouldn’t be for the pleasure of his company.

“Oh great, him again.”

“Well, I knew you would be very tickled to see him again.”

“Very funny BB.” Bo knew as well as I did that when Dewey Hogg starts a knockin’ there is trouble waiting by his feet. Mama always did say never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. Believe me folks, Dewey was far from a teddy.

“What do you think he’s up to?”

“Who knows? What I do know is it ain’t no good.”

“True enough. Whelp, I better work on the ol’ General Lee. You can borrow the blue car if you need it. You know, just while you’re gone.”

“Thanks BB, you’re a real pal.”

“You’re welcome, keep between the ditches.” Bo got in the blue sedan that Cooter had left BB when he moved. Now old Coot was working on being the best dang senator these here US of A states had ever seen. Y’all know that Cooter left Hazzard cars in the best of hands, right?

I bet y’all are wondering what’s up with Nancy-Lou. Well sir, Doc Applebee was just announcing it to her. Hold onto your britches y’all. Now Nancy-Lou thought she was gonna die. After throwing up for a while a person would suspect that. She was shaking thinking of every possibility it could be…well, except maybe one.

“Nancy-Lou, you’re pregnant,” Doc told her. Nancy-Lou swallowed hard.

“This can’t be. I can’t be pregnant,” Nancy-Lou commented.

“Kido, you’re about three months pregnant I think. You’re ripe as can be. I have delivered many babies. I have seen many pregnant ladies. I just know.” Nancy-Lou shook her head. This was impossible.

“We don’t have time for children.”

“Sorry, you have no choice. Now Nancy-Lou, I was wondering if you wanted an ultrasound while you were here. We got one of them new fangled machines and wanted to try it out on ya.”

“I would love it.”

Now wouldn’t you know it, a first in Hazzard. We’ll get back to Nancy-Lou in a minute. Right now, Bo Duke was about to get himself into a mess that only a Duke would know how to get into.

Imagine the usual. Bo is driving down a long stretch of dirt road, heading back for the Duke farm. Y’all remember our fishermen? Well ol Dewey is heading down the road, straight for Bo Duke. Now you know this ain’t goanna end well.

Dewey sees the General and smiles. He begins to rub his hands together. Now y’all remember the look in his eye. That don’t mean he wants to wave and act all friendly like. Oh no, that is a typical Hogg look.

“Well just run him off the road, George,” Dewey announced.

“Boss, you know as well as I do that you shouldn’t tick off a Duke,” George replied. Well, a man with some sense. I wonder if ol Dewey’s goanna listen to that.

“Do as I said.” Uh huh, ain’t too bright is he? I guess we’ll see how ol Bo reacts to this one. What’s Dewey cooking up?

“Whatever you say Boss.” George sped up and played a little chicken with Bo. Bo swerved out of the way, hitting a tree. From the other car, George and Dewey were laughing. Now Bo doesn’t like to be messed with. Y’all know that. You know we haven’t seen the last of his battle.

Now Bo Duke was madder than a flea who’d been taken off a dog. One because he messed up BB’s car and two because he lost control. Like ol George said, you never mess with a Duke.

Dewey wasn’t dumb neither; he knew this fact. Ol’ Dewey wanted to tick off Bo. Get a Duke mad enough and he does some announcing for you. After a couple of hours of waiting BB Davenport had already picked up fuming Bo.

“Can you believe that idiot? I should skin him alive,” Bo grumbled.

“You can’t,” BB replied. Bo crossed his arms glaring at his friend. You know that look don’t ya?

“And why not? Have you developed some sort of friendship with him?”

“The only friendship I would have with a Hogg like him is the one where I turn him in to the law.” Bo smiled however, his face turned back to anger.

“Then why don’t you want me to skin him?”

“Not in your nature, Bo.” Bo laughed. Now when BB Davenport was right, he was right. Bo was too much like a kitten. Sure he would rumble with a man but really attack him? No sir, not in him.

“BB, we have to warn the lawmen.”

“Bo Duke, you are right. They have rights to know that ol’ Dewey Hogg is in town.” Now you see what I mean? Dewey wanted ol’ Rosco to know about him. He wanted Rosco to come up with a Rosco like plan. Y’all following me?

Rosco knew as well as anyone that ol Dewey was nothing but trouble. He of course sent his deputy, Cletus Hogg and his Sheriff Enos Strate out to get them. Just to be safe, Rosco put three guards on the bank and closed up for the day. Now you know that can’t be good don’t ya, folks?

Back to Nancy-Lou who was having her ultrasound without Bo. “Oh my, what a cute little…what in the world?” Doc Applebee began.

“What is it?” Nancy-Lou questioned.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Is there something wrong with the baby?”

“It seems to be growing some extra limbs. The heart beat is funny too.” Nancy-Lou’s eyes widened.

“So my baby is…”

“Nancy-Lou, no, your baby is fine or should I say babies.”

“What?”

“You are pregnant with twins.” Nancy-Lou shakes her head. “Nancy, congratulations, this must be a real blessing for you.”

“No, you’re full of it. You’re wrong. I am not having twins. Do the ultrasound again.”

“Nancy-Lou Duke, I can do it over and over and I will still have the same results.”

“I can’t be pregnant now with twins, that’s impossible.” Nancy-Lou growls, staring at Doc Applebee evilly. “You’re a jerk Applebee. You deliver this kind of news at a time like this?”

“Nancy-Lou, you came to me.”

“I tell you what, if you pretend like this didn’t happen I’ll…”

“Nancy-Lou, you’re pregnant. There is no bargaining, no denying. You’re just gonna have to except it.”

“Alright, so what does this mean then? I mean I am having twins. I can’t deal with twins. Bo is always saving Hazzard.”

“He was raised here when Jesse was doing the same thing. It will be fine.” Nancy-Lou shakes her head. “What is it?”

“I don’t think I can deal with twins.” Nancy-Lou pushes her hair back and sighs.

“You can and you will.” Nancy begins to shake her head. Doc Applebee put his hands on her shoulders. “You can Nancy-Lou. You’ve taken on many a criminal. This is a challenge, a new challenge.”

“What will Bo say?”

“He’ll be thrilled. Don’t forget to tell him okay?”

“Oh believe me, I won’t.”

“I’ll let you get dressed now.”

“Thanks Doc Applebee.” Nancy-Lou walked out of the Doctor’s office only to find Bo leaning on the pickup.

“Hey beautiful, how did it go?” Bo questioned. Nancy-Lou looked around the street.

“Where’s the General Lee?”

“Getting new rims.”

“Bo I gotta…”

“I got into another accident thanks to Dewey Hogg.”

“What’s he doing back in town?”

“I don’t know but it can’t be any good. Rosco was nervous and closed the bank.”

“What about the Boar’s Nest? Doesn’t he have some of his treasures hidden there? You know, the ones left by Boss for him?”

“Oh man, I never thought about that. We got to get out there and stop Dewey.” Nancy-Lou snapped her fingers.

“Honey, there might be one more thing. Do you remember the diamond ring convention is coming to town—at the Boar’s Nest? Destiny wanted a new ring and Rosco’s goanna get it for her.”

“Oh man.”

“Yeah this is going to be huge.”

“Honey, I’m sorry, I cut you off earlier. What were you going to say? You know, it started out with Bo I gotta…”

“Oh never mind, we have more important things to deal with right now.” Uh huh, Nancy-Lou knew if she told Bo about the baby she wouldn’t be coming, Essy would be. Now Nancy-Lou ain’t one to stay home when an adventure is afoot.

This could be interesting. Now Rosco was guarding the Guards. It was kind of interesting. You know, he doesn’t trust anybody. “Alright you guards know that you should be guarding with pride. Stand up straight…Khee. That looks about right,” Rosco commented with pride.

They began to listen to his command. Now y’all, these were once Boss Hogg’s guards. Belonging to Rosco felt almost like a demotion. Boss Rosco was just as nasty as Boss Hogg but with a twist. Every lunch break came out of their pay. Uh huh, got to love capitalism.

Anyway, the Dukes were onto something when they thought of the Boar’s Nest. After Boss Hogg left, Rosco wanted to do everything bigger. You know how he is, I mean just look how he dresses.

The vault was the size of a large walk in closet, a luxury for most folks. Boss Rosco was sure that they would never know the password to ol Boss Rosco’s safe. However, everyone forgets that Rosco is in love with his old hound dog.

That is everyone except for Dewey Hogg. Old Flash had a number tagged on his ear 2321-34. Uh huh, the three number combination on a safe. “George this is easier than taking candy from a baby,” Dewey commented.

“Boss, in broad daylight, I mean ain’t this a little risky?” George questioned.

“This is one thing I know. Enos and Cletus are circling the neighborhood ol Boss is guarding his guards. This plan couldn’t have been more perfect if I planned it. Oh wait, I did,” Dewey replied.

“I still think it is too good to be true.”

“What could possibly go wrong?” At that moment, a board on top of the Boar’s nest split and down came Bo Duke. Dewey shook his head. “I just had to ask.”

“Okay Dewey, give up the act,” Bo exclaimed. George pulled out a gun. “Or not.”

“You think I didn’t expect you Dukes to come pussyfooting around? I know y’all a little better than that. No Nancy-Lou?”

“She’s sick.” Now Bo wasn’t lyin’ Nancy-Lou was throwing up in the bushes. Yep, pregnant women want to be helpful but their bodies show them no mercy.

“Happens even to the best of us.” Bo shakes his head. Bo is taken out with a gun to his head, naturally Nancy-Lou has just finished being sick. She growls when she sees Bo with a gun to his head. However, she knows that if she does anything her man will die.

Now ain’t that horrible? Nancy-Lou has to sit and watch while baddies take away her husband. Not to mention she hasn’t told him the good news yet. Uh huh, ain’t that interesting?

Nancy-Lou wanted to follow them but as you well know the General sticks out like a sore thumb. Ol Bo wasn’t too thrilled when they started shooting at his woman. It wasn’t long before Nancy-Lou had a flat tire and the man with the gun had a black eye.

You can probably guess Bo was knocked out with the head of the gun after that stunt. Nancy-Lou is pretty fast at changing a tire but she knew she couldn’t take them on again by herself. Essy was in the post office working hard. That was her first choice.

Judd was still teaching school. He was her second choice. BB would be a good choice if he wasn’t out at ol Smoot’s place dragging his van out of a mud pit.

Now you can imagine Nancy-Lou tried to race to the police station to tell ol Rosco. As she was on her way Cletus was right behind her with the sirens on. “Oh Cletus,” Nancy-Lou grumbles to herself, “I am not in the mood for you and your shenanigans.”

Nancy-Lou was trying to maneuver away from him but for some reason Cletus was keen on catching up to her and arresting her that day. Nancy-Lou wasn’t in a crying mood nor was she in a happy mood. No sir her head was hotter than a honeymooning couple in a hotel.

“Cletus, you think for five minutes you’re wasting my time, think again! I ain’t even goanna go at it with you today,” Nancy-Lou growled.

“Boss Rosco wants to arrest you for stealing his money from his safe and the diamonds for his show for Destiny,” Cletus told her.

“Cletus, you think that I would steal anything?” Cletus shakes his head. Nancy-Lou begins to cry.

“What is it darlin’?”

“My husband has crooks left and right of him and you don’t even care. Probably sympathizing with ol’ Dewey ‘cause y’all are related.”

“The only thing my kin and I have in common is our name. I would never let Bo get hurt.” Nancy-Lou began crying harder. “Oh don’t cry Nancy-Lou.” Cletus gave her his hanky. She wiped her eyes, blowing her nose in it. Nancy handed it back to Cletus. Now do y’all see that look on Cletus’ face? Uh huh, he seems to be mortified.

“Cletus, everyone’s busy. The closest not-so busy Duke is in New York and he’s a baby. Who is goanna save my husband?”

“We’ll think of something.”

“But you wanna arrest me.” Nancy-Lou began crying again.

“No I don’t…besides, if you prove to me you are innocent, I don’t have to arrest ya.” Now y’all I knew Cletus had to have some of the Hogg brains.

Now I guess you wanna know what’s happening with Bo. Dewey Hogg is no dummy…then again, y’all know that. You can only imagine how Bo Duke was feeling. He’s chained to a wall like a cellar during a tornado.

“You Dukes never know when to leave things alone do ya?” Dewey commented.

“You Hoggs never know how to keep the greed on a leash either,” Bo growled back. Dewey shook his head. He stared Bo in the face and began laughing. Now y’all know how much a Hogg loves money, picture ol Duck Tales and Uncle Scrooge swimming in his money. Hoggs wouldn’t get a swimming pool, heck they would get a pool, hot tub and car lined with money if they could.

“Who died and made you a cop? Hazzard has a police force. You Dukes should take a lesson and let them handle it.”

“See the jewels land in your hands? Not ever. Nancy-Lou is goanna come after you and then…”

“Oh I am shaking,” Dewey said, his speech dripping with sarcasm. Now come on y’all, don’t you wanna see Bo bust him right now? Now if you were looking behind Bo’s back, you could see him take a pin out of his wallet…kept there in case of emergencies.

“Hey, she’s a Davenport by blood.”

“So she’s goanna fix my car?” All the other men laugh at Dewey’s joke. Dewey gave them all the cut off signal. “Face it Bo, she ain’t no blood hound.” Bo growls.

“You’ll get yours and then you will wish you NEVER messed with my girl or me.” Yep, you never wanna mess with a Duke or their kin.

“You know what Bo? I have been taking on your family for years.”

“And we have beaten you everytime.”

“You don’t have Luke, you don’t have Daisy anymore and you don’t have the old man either.”

“Don’t talk about my Uncle Jesse, you have no right.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. Jesse was the second best thing Hazzard produced. The first was my Uncle Boss.” Bo rolled his eyes. Now I am sure you don’t wanna see Dewey play with the veins in ol Bo’s head.

Let’s go back and see what’s up with the General Lee and the occupants. After all you think Nancy-Lou would take a police car? Not on your life. You think General Lee stuck out? Now add the police to the situation.

Now Nancy-Lou had made it pretty far down the road, following the tracks. Cletus was driving and she was sitting up on the hood. They went at this for a little while, finding a hide out…abandoned as well as the car they had been following. However, Nancy-Lou could see Bo’s wallet which he conveniently dropped so Nancy could find it.

“Well he’s alive at least,” Cletus said with a smile as Nancy-Lou went through Bo’s wallet. Nancy-Lou whacked Cletus with Bo’s wallet six times. “OW! What did I do?”

“YOU AREN’T RESPECTING MY HUSBAND!” Now friends, Nancy-Lou wouldn’t do this normally. She’s quite sweet. However, don’t mess with a pregnant Duke looking for her husband.

“Man, I’m glad Bo married you. I had a crush on you.” Nancy-Lou’s eyes began to weld up.

“You had a crush on me?” She began to cry. “Never mind that, we need to find Bo. With the way their heading…according to these…slightly deeper tracks, their heading south.”

“There are two roads that are south. How are we goanna know which one Bo is on?”

“My Bo will signal us somehow.” As Nancy-Lou got behind the wheel, you could see the fire in her eyes. Poor Cletus, he never knew what was coming. She was driving like a maniac by now.

“Now how are you going to see a sign driving like that?” Suddenly Nancy-Lou slammed on her breaks. She got out of the car quickly. “I had to ask.”

“Come on Cletus!” Nancy-Lou picked up a small ring off of the ground. “I’m goanna hit him!”

“Wedding ring?”

“Yep.”

“How did you see that?” Nancy-Lou smiled.

“It was easy…I knew what to look for.” Nancy-Lou walked back to the General and climbed in. She started it. “Besides, it was glimmering.” You can see how close Nancy-Lou is to catching these boys. You see that big van up there? All the jewels and everything was in that there vehicle. Bo was in there too.

By now Dewy was so sick of Bo’s troublesome nature. Bo had a red mark on his face to prove it. “I can’t believe you got out of those chains. You made me think you were still bound! Throwing hints out the window for wifey to see!” Dewey exclaimed.

Now the sound of the blazing horn arrived in the background. Man, I love that ol Dixie horn. “You’re driving Cletus,” Nancy-Lou’s voice echoed from the General Lee.

“No you’re driving,” Cletus commented.

“You are absolutely wrong! You are driving.” Nancy-Lou pulled herself out from the window. She crawled on the hood of the General Lee and grabbed onto the top of the van.

Now friends, if Bo knew she was pregnant, he would have been so angry at this point. Nancy-Lou climbed on the top. In the van, people were getting anxious.

“Get her off!” Dewy screamed. The guy started winding the van to and fro. Bo slid himself over to the hatch on the van, opening it. He got a gun pointed at his face. “Sit down.”

“Whatever you say,” Bo replied. He pushed the jewels out the door with his bottom.

“NO!” Meanwhile, Nancy had put her legs in front of the man driving the truck. They pulled over. With all the jewels in custody, as Cletus was cuffing people, Dewy managed to get away in the van. Now they found the van but no Dewy.

Cletus got reward money for finding the jewels, Rosco got late fees for not returning the rings. Uh huh, ain’t that justice? Now the best part is now at hand.

Nancy-Lou is about to tell Bo the news. “Bo, I have something to tell you, the Doctor told me what it is. I mean what has been making me so crazy,” Nancy-Lou began. Bo buried his hands in his face.

“Essy-Jane told me it might be this. She told me you might be going through early stages of the changes of life,” Bo replied. Now ain’t that a kicker? Essy-Jane thinks its menopause.

“What? No.”

“You’re not dying are you? I mean you don’t have cancer…please don’t tell me you’re dying. I just don’t think I could take it.”

“Bo I’m pregnant with twins.”

“That’s it?”

“You’re taking it really well.”

“I’m goanna be a daddy?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” 3…2…1 and Bo has landed face first on the floor. That’s the way we handle pregnancy in Hazzard County. Come back soon y’hear?

by: Essy Jane

Well now, look at General Lee, he’s speeding through the south like a tornado through a trailer park. Meet Bo Duke and his beautiful wife. Nancy-Lou Duke. They’re newly weds. Now being newly weds is fun.

I ain’t fixing on doing it again. All that Lovey dovey stuff could make a man hurl. Well not me of course. My wife is as beautiful as she is smart.

Anyway, they’re going to watch Roscoe make a fool of himself with public speaking. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon now is it? Now don’t worry folks, Bo didn’t forget the popcorn.

“Why would you wanna see Roscoe make a fool of himself anyway?” Nancy-Lou asked.

“Well I thought it would be fun,” Bo replied. Bo turned the corner. “Besides, BB said he had a new toy to show me.” Nancy-Lou began to laugh.

“Any excuse to see what BB’s got for ya huh?”

“You had better believe it.” Remember folks, Dukes are good at two things—racing and love. Bo has already gotten the love part of it down to a science. Bo parked the car.

“Bo, we have some time, let’s head on over to the post office.”

“Sure thing, Miss Nancy-Lou.”

“That’s Mrs. Nancy-Lou to you buster.” She winked. They gave each other a kiss.

“Okay, you are a Mrs. Duke but you don’t have to worry too much.” Bo kissed her again.

“Oh yeah? Why not?”

“Simple, I won’t let anyone else touch you. That’s got to mean your safe.”

“My hero.” She kissed him. I told you being a newly wed was tricky.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you way more.”

“No way, you’ll never know how much I truly love you.”

“You know if we do this all day, we’ll miss comedy hour and BB’s new toy.” Bo nodded.

“I guess we had better get in there then, huh?” Both walked into the post office. The little bell rang as the door opened and shut.

Essy was leaned right over grabbing her daughter. She put her in the playpen carefully. Nancy-Lou smiled.

“Take a number and I’ll be right with you,” Essy commented. Bo shook his head. After how long everyone knew everyone else, Essy still obeyed the rules of the post office.

Bo grabbed a number. He held onto it tight. Now Nancy-Lou and Bo were both staring at little Esmeralda. They hugged each other, thinking about how much they wanted children.

“Number one,” Essy-Jane said. He handed her the number. “Bo, I need some identification please.”

“You know me better than you know your own husband,” Bo protested.

“Rules are rules, Bo Duke now—I wanna see some ID.” Bo rolled his eyes, pulling out his driver’s license.

“There you are Essy now can I have my dang mail?”

“I don’t know, can you Bo?” Nancy-Lou began laughing. Bo shrugged.

“I can’t win with you two.” Nancy-Lou kissed Bo again. “Especially with an argument like that. She kisses and I forget everything I say.”

“Well we got you all beat because we know you. Now say it properly.” Essy-Jane was always a stickler for English—even if she didn’t speak it well herself. Bo rolled his eyes.

“May I have my mail?”

“Sure.” Essy-Jane handed him three letters. One from Luke—one was a bill and the other from Daisy.

“Any for me?” Nancy-Lou asked.

“A number Nancy, take a number.” Nancy did as Essy said.

“Got one.” She quickly pulled out her wallet, grabbing her driver’s license. “Here’s my ID.”

“Number two your up and ready to be served.” Nancy-Lou handed Essy-Jane the number and the ID. “Here you go.” Nancy-Lou received two letters, one from her Dad and one from her Mom.

“Thanks Essy,” Nancy-Lou and Bo said at the same time.

“No problem.” They walked outside and smiled at each other. Nancy and Bo were so happy. You could see it in their eyes. What a couple.

“You know, I don’t think she’ll ever change,” Bo announced.

“Of course not, rules are rules and Essy-Jane won’t bend them for anyone.”

“Don’t I know it. She is stubborn as they come.” That’s right boys and girls, this is the way Mrs. Essy Duke was.

2

They walked across the street and sat on the grass. Bo opened his letter from Luke:

Dear Bo,

Maria is still on bed rest. I didn’t know what to do at first. Something she said hit me, “Without me, we’ll be crushed.”

With the baby coming soon, I have been more than worried. Its funny that we can’t handle our own problems. I am sorry to burden you with our troubles.

Maybe moving from Hazzard was a mistake. All I ever knew was farming. Now, I am working two jobs. However, things seem to be looking up for me.

I had been working myself to the bone. Every cent I used was either going to the baby or to bills. I thought I wasn’t goanna get another wink of sleep thinking about that.

However, as I went to take the bus—some dude came and snatched a woman’s purse. I chased him down and held him until the police came. Well anyway, the police officer walked over to me and told me how amazing my running skills were.

He told me I should be a cop. At first, I was skeptical. I mean me—a police officer. Come on, I have a record. Who besides Roscoe would let me do such a job?

When I came in to get my record check, I was sure I was goanna be rejected but instead my record had been cleaned right out. It was as if I had never done anything at all.

It is a blessing to me but I still can’t help but wonder what happened? Would you check it out for me? I would grateful.

Maria says hi.

Hope you have a great day.

Your cousin,

Luke

Bo shook his head. He shrugged. This was too strange even for him. Bo and Luke were caught for moon shining. If

“Dang that’s too weird for words,” Bo mumbled.

“What’s weird?” Nancy-Lou questioned. Bo put the letter in his wife’s hands. She read through it quickly. “Oh that is weird.”

“Luke and me both went through the same stuff. This means that his record was erased and I think Luke is in a mess of trouble.”

“Yeah—a gift like that never comes for free.”

“You wanna talk to Roscoe about it before he makes his speech?”

“Nah, we’ll talk to him later.” Roscoe got up to the podium to speak. As he did, there were shots fired at him. The crowd dissipated—well all except Bo, Enos, Cletus, Nancy and BB.

Dang, if you’re in the kitchen Ma, come back in you’re missing something. Look at that, he looks okay. Enos is helping him back up.

Bo ran up to him. “Roscoe, are you okay?” he questioned.

“You did it didn’t you?” Roscoe asked.

“Did what?”

“You tried to kill me. You tried because you’re—you’re my enemy. Cletus, arrest him.” Cletus took out his gun.

“Now Boss he didn’t do nothing now,” Enos cut in.

“How do you know? Were you watching him the whole time? He was trying to kill me. Now arrest him!”

“Sorry Bo.”

“It’s okay, Sheriff Strait,” Bo mumbled. Enos put the handcuffs on him.

“You have the right…”

“I know my rights Enos, just drag me away.”

“Dang it.”

“Enos, don’t worry about it.”

“I can’t help it, this ain’t right.” Enos continued to walk Bo across the street.

“We’ll find out who really did it.”

“I sure hope so.” Now friends, this doesn’t look like a happy moment now does it? This makes me madder than a snapping turtle. Come on y’all, let’s see what happens.

3

Now there’s Nancy-Lou, paying to get her husband out of prison. You know what? It is a lucky thing that Roscoe’s married now. And that his wife threatened to take his son away from him if he didn’t do as she said.

Roscoe met her half way. If Nancy-Lou would pay bail money then Boss Roscoe would let him out of prison. Now ain’t that a kick in the head?

Destiny is a smart woman. She knows what she’s doing. The woman is friends with the Dukes—well most of the time. You’ll see what I mean later on.

“Three hundred—four hundred—five hundred—six hundred dollars. That’s your bail, now let my husband out,” Nancy-Lou grumbled.

“Nice doing business with you, Nancy,” Boss Roscoe said.

“Well I’m sorry, I don’t share your views.”

“ENOS! LET HIM GO!” Boss Roscoe handed Nancy-Lou a piece of paper.

“What is this?”

“A restraining order. He can’t come within five hundred feet of me.” Nancy-Lou shook her head.

“You know as well as I do Roscoe that he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“He tried to kill me, who else would it be. He is mad that I helped Lu—I mean, he’s upset.”

“Roscoe, he would never try to kill you. It is Bo we’re talking about. He wouldn’t kill a fly let alone a human being.”

“Hush puppies, you never know with criminal minds. One second they are fine the next Blip! They’re goners.”

“Well my husband hasn’t had his lights turned out.”

“I mean his mind. He might loose his mind.”

“Look, I know what you want Roscoe. Us Dukes out of your hair and—AND money. Heck you would try to pinch a dollar out of a buffalo bagel.”

“I don’t do any such thing.”

“You have got to be kidding me! Ever since you won Boss’ money, you have been setting up more speed traps with Cletus.”

“I have not.”

“You have too.”

“I ain’t been doing nothing of the sort. Besides, you can’t prove it.” Nancy-Lou shook her head, she clenched her fists.

“You’re as crooked as a dog’s hind leg.”

“Hey, I got shot at. Unless you and your criminal husband can find someone else who did it, the restraining order stands.”

“Ain’t that a job for the SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT?”

“Hush! I am the commissioner now.”

“Yeah—you are, thanks for nothing, Roscoe.”

“It’s Boss Roscoe to you.”

Bo walked up the stairs. He looked at his wife and shook his head. “Let’s go Nancy-Lou,” Bo growled. They walked out of the Jail house and over to BB’s.

Now after explaining the works to BB, he got them some lemonade. “Dang, it is so hot in here—chickens are probably laying boiled eggs BOOOOY HOWDY!” BB said.

“What are we goanna do BB? We can’t exactly leave him hanging,” Nancy-Lou commented.

“Well what do you want me to do? Look, y’all need to find this killer before he does it again and before Boss gets it in the can.”

“No kidding but how are we goanna set the trap?”

“How am I goanna help Boss if I can’t go near him?” Bo questioned.

“Honey…”

“I’m goanna have to play operation’s man. You, Judd, BB and Essy are goanna have to handle this one.”

“What’s the plan?” BB asked.

“Where is he next?”

“Well according to the Boar’s Nest, his next appearance will be there to win votes.”

“I see.” Bo rubbed his chin. “Nancy-Lou, you know as well as I do that ol Roscoe is goanna get himself killed.” Nancy nodded.

“The problem with Roscoe is, he thinks you’re the one who did it,” Nancy-Lou replied.

“No he doesn’t, he just wants to use me as a scapegoat so he feels safe.”

“Hey, it is working ain’t it?” BB asked.

“You have to watch out for any suspicious characters.”

“Can do Buckaroo—however, Bo we’re goanna need some way to communicate.”

“Yup, no problem.” Now this was goanna get interesting. I said it once and I’ll say it again, them Dukes were in hot water. No not the hot tub kind.

6

Now y’all, you ain’t goanna believe this. Bo Duke is sitting at home. Now he has nothing better to do. You know, I hate when Bo is pushed out of the adventures. It ain’t the same without him.

Now Roscoe almost said it—the reason he thought Bo was the one who tried to kill him was that he helped LU. This in Roscoe’s language means he helped Luke.

Mystery solved? I don’t think so. Why in the world would Roscoe help a Duke? There had to be some reason for it. I mean he and the Dukes have been fighting since—well Bo and Luke learned to ride their bikes.

So Bo was stumped. He had no idea why ol Roscoe would pull—well a good deed on them. As strange as it sounded.

As he continued to think on this subject, the phone rang. Wouldn’t you know it? Right in the middle of all the adventure, I guess that is when everyone calls.

“Hello, Duke farm, Bo speaking,” Bo began.

“Hey cousin, how are you doing? How’s Hazzard? Anything going on?” Luke questioned. He pushed his hair back.

“You just wanna know if I found anything out.” Bo began laughing. “The answer is no. I have been too busy saving my own bacon.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“A restraining order—I can’t go within one hundred feet of BOSS Roscoe.”

“What?”

“He thinks I was trying to kill him.”

“You?” Luke began to laugh. He shook his head. You see what I mean? “You? Bo Duke kill someone? Now come on, that’s about as true as a horse with a trunk.”

“Yeah well you come down here and explain it to Roscoe.”

“So you’re sitting there because that restraining order…”

“Would put me right back in jail. Luke, he was saying something to Nancy-Lou. This is the only clue I have to your case so far. He said the only reason why I tried to kill him because he helped Lu…”

“And then he said the ol, ‘I mean’.”

“He said what he meant. He meant it as the reason I wanted to run in there and…and…”

“Drop an anvil on his head?”

“Was because he helped you and not me.”

“You know what the real question is don’t ya?”

“Well I ain’t dumb right,”

“Yeah, you ain’t dumb.”

“The question is still why though ain’t it?” Bo shook his head, stumped on what to say.

“Why would Roscoe wanna help me?” Luke grabbed a pencil and began doodling on a pad of paper that was beside the phone.

“Maybe there was something in it for him.”

“Uh huh—what would be in it for him? Watching a Duke succeed ain’t one of Roscoe’s highest things on his to do list.”

“The police officer that suggested you come in, what were his exact words?”

“Well when I told him I had a record, he didn’t blink an eye.”

“Uh huh.”

“He said, ‘Look boy, if come in three weeks and inquire about a job you’ll have one. Bring your record and I guarantee you that you will get the job.’ I did as he said and I have a job.”

“Fishy.” Bo sighed as he thought about it for a second.

“What do you think?”

“Besides the fact that it is fishy?”

“Yeah.”

“I think it has something to do with the fact that they’re dirty cops but don’t quote me on it yet.”

“What am I goanna do if they are?”

“Luke, don’t roll on any stones yet. Don’t go looking for trouble that’s the main thing. These fellas have been on the beat for a long time.”

“Yeah and I don’t wanna cause any unnecessary trouble.”

“Exactly—Luke they’s goanna deny all the information if they are. So you’ll have to catch them in the act.”

“If they ain’t dirty cops…”

“If they ain’t, well then we have nothing to worry about.”

“Bo, I don’t know if your words bring comfort or not.” Luke continued doodling.

“Well cousin, this is just like a case of the Hazzards.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Luke, don’t worry.” He grabbed his walky talkie, playing with the antenna.

“How can I not?”

“Think about Maria and the baby. You know you’ll be okay.”

“What if…what if they come after my family?”

“They won’t, Luke—they won’t. Okay?”

“I don’t know…”

“Luke, just remember to stay cool.”

“How can I?”

“You need to try your best. I promise it will be alright.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah.” Luke sighed.

“I don’t know…”

“Don’t worry about it too much. Luke I am sure you will be fine.”

“Yeah—maybe you’re right.” Luke scratched his head. “Why am I still worrying then?”

“Because you’re a Duke and that’s what we do.”

“Bo, Maria’s calling me…”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh, I’ve got to go. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to burden you with my problems.”

“You ain’t Luke. Now you say hi to Maria for me. Okay? Bye cousin.”

“Alright Bo, I sure will. I hope you have a good one. Good luck on your adventures, Bye.” Bo shook his head as he hung up. Dang, it looks like both cousins have problems on their ends.

I guess that’s what happens when you mix the Duke boys in with Hazzard or New York. I hope Daisy wasn’t doing as well as Bo and Luke was on the trouble end of it.

7

“Shepard, this is Messy Essy calling. You’re right there is a strange character sitting in the Boar’s Nest,” Essy said over the CB.

“Messy Essy, look—I don’t think he’ll try shooting people in public. Check for a ticking noise or some wire of some sort,” Bo replied. Essy rubbed her chin.

“10-4, I’ll let mad mama know.” Essy put the CB down. She walked into the Boar’s Nest and looked at Nancy who was already doing what Bo said even before Essy could tell her. “What are you doing?”

“Thinking like a Duke, that’s what,” Nancy-Lou replied.

“Well let’s hope you have enough Duke sense to find whatever will get boss.”

“No doubt, Essy, we need to find it right quick.” Nancy saw a wire sitting right by boss’ door.

“Where do you think that leads to?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll find out.” Essy followed right along side of Nancy-Lou. She followed it over to the back room where all the stuff is kept. Her eyes widened.

“There’s enough dynamite here to kill Boss and everyone else in here!”

“You’ve got it.” Essy shook her head. She couldn’t believe how calm her friend was.

“What are we goanna do, Nancy-Lou?”

“Well—umm, Get BB to follow the stranger. He is about to leave considering the speech is about to start.”

“Right.”

“After that, you go through the other door with Judd and create the BIGGEST distraction of your life, you hear me?”

“Ya don’t have to tell me twice.” Essy ran out the door and then ran back.

“What the heck are you goanna do?”

“Diffuse the dynamite bomb.”

“Do you know how?”

“Luke taught me the fundamentals of a bomb…I just hope it was enough.”

“Good luck.” Essy ran back out. Sure enough, the stranger was leaving. Essy explained Nancy-Lou’s plan fast—telling BB to radio for Bo.

Soon, she was running around the Boar’s Nest going into the back way. There was Roscoe sitting there in the famous barber chair. “How dare you come in here without knocking first,” Roscoe exclaimed.

“Roscoe, I wanted to talk to you about—“ Essy began. She didn’t know what to talk to him about.

“Well spit it out girl, I don’t have time to waste with you Dukes.”

“I want to help you win over the Boss in Chawtaw County.” Roscoe jumped and frankly, so did I.

“What? I didn’t hear what you said—I think my ears were plugged.”

“Do you know how hard it is to be good all the time? I mean I have been doing it for so long that it has become boring.”

“You wanna help me?”

“Think about it, there’s no one smarter than a Duke.”

“You ain’t a real Duke.”

“My last name is Duke ain’t it?” Roscoe rubbed his chin.

“Yes it is but that ain’t the point.” Essy smiled and sat beside Roscoe in a wooden chair. “What makes me think I can trust someone like you?”

“The Tizdale family doesn’t raise liars.”

“I don’t know…that Megan…”

“Megan was the black sheep of the family.”

“Fiddlesticks.”

“Look, I am a good partner to have. Do you really think I would lie? Not my sister, but me personally—do you think I would lie to you?”

“Well…uh…”

“Take your time Roscoe.”

“Thanks, Essy.” Roscoe was stumped by the question. He was really thinking about it. Now friends, that is pretty dang slick if you ask me.

Meanwhile up on the road, General Lee had caught up with the tow truck. Now BB and Bo were about to give Mister bad guy the sandwich influence routine. That is when you smoosh a small car between two other cars.

Now it worked pretty well. The guy’s car was all smashed up. However, he slammed something through his windshield and began to run.

Two things I have learned very well in this world. Number one, how to play a guitar and number two—never ever try to run from a Duke. Now them are some good lessons.

Bo was on the football team and the track team. He won all the sprint running events. He was one of the most valued linebackers on the team.

You add that combination together and you have one seriously determined man. Bo was running up a storm and caught up with the man in no time. You know how slow on the uptake this baddie was?

He tried to fist fight a Duke. Now ain’t that funny? Don’t know one win against a Duke and I mean that in the nicest way.

“What are you doing mister?” Bo asked as he caught one of his punches.

“You ain’t goanna take me in!” The man exclaimed.

“Donald, is that you?”

“Uh…”

“Oh come on Donald, it ain’t worth killing ol Boss Roscoe. He’s a simpleton.”

“Simpleton my eye!” He went to punch Bo again. I tell ya, he won’t ever learn now will he? Oh well, Bo put him down to the ground.

“What do you mean?”

“He is just like Boss Hogg.”

“Do tell.”

“This dang man sold me bad property that didn’t grow anything but weeds.”

“Donald I’m so sor…”

“I lost my farm ‘cause I couldn’t grow anything and I lost my wife. She took my baby with her.”

“That ain’t no reason to kill a man.”

“Bo, I lost everything.”

“When you tried to kill him—you did. Now you have to confess. If you don’t, I’ll go to the pokey and I will loose everything.”

“What do you have to do with this?”

“He thinks I did it, Donald.”

“Dang, I’m sorry Bo.”

Well let’s see, Donald admitted to his crime which made Boss Roscoe have to rip up the restraining order which was just as well for Roscoe. Bo couldn’t go to jail because Boss worked there.

Nancy-Lou stopped Boss from blowing up, thanks to some skills from Luke. Good thing too…the whole Boar’s Nest would have been off the face of the earth. Then when would we have a good beer?

Well, Bo checked on Luke’s records. Apparently for turning in one of Boss Roscoe’s competitors, Luke was pardoned for all crimes against him. Now it still seems fishy to me.

As for Boss, he celebrated the good life with another celebrity speed trap. Cletus caught this one himself.

The Judds were playing tonight. Now ain’t that a musical night for the Dukes?

by: Essy Jane

Well now, welcome to Hazzard County. Come on, stay a spell. This is what you could consider the story before the story. Now, if y’all recall, there was a wedding between Nancy-Lou Davenport and Bo Duke. So, as you have guessed, Nancy-Lou has now taken on the name of Duke. Makes you feel warm all over now don’t it?

Now Bo said goodbye to all his wedding guests. Roscoe said goodbye to Boss Hogg as he drifted out of Hazzard County…finally retiring. Y’all have to wonder about that one. Bo Duke sure did. He couldn’t really imagine Hazzard being quiet. With Boss Hogg gone—that left Roscoe and let me tell you, I don’t see Roscoe being as much of a threat.

Bo loved Hazzard County. He loved living here. Heck, he loved being here. It was something that made him feel really good about being a husband. Nancy was a good woman and all but he was still nervous.

Bo had his last words from his Uncle in his pocket. He took it out again, pondering at the words. It was the last thing he had left of his Uncle Jesse. The last thing that Jesse would ever give him was this paper. It was worth more to him than all the gold in Hazzard County.

He began to read it again:

Dear Bo,
I am glad I got the chance to know such wonderful souls how to live. You boys were the only real sons I had. To have you boys growing up in my home has made me the happiest man on earth. I love to hold you both in my arms. You two have done well for yourselves. Luke has become an amazing boy. You have learned so much.

Now, you’re here to finish my legacy. Bo, I know this will seem weird to you but I have to ask of you a favour. I would like you to use my CB handle. From now on, let yourself be known as Shepard. You have been one of the most special people in my life and to have you carry on this tradition would make me the happiest man on earth.

Place your family first constantly and you will always have me with you in everything you do. Love and care for those left behind. You know what to do Bo, just do it. Don’t loose that special quality that made Nancy-Lou fall in love with you. Don’t loose the quality that draws Daisy to talk to you or Luke to spend time with you. Don’t ever think you’re less than anyone else.

Oh and don’t forget to wipe your feet before entering the farmhouse. That is important. Show a good example.

I love you very much.

Yours always and forever,

Uncle Jesse

He was the Shepard now, taking hold of Jesse’s flock. It made him sad more than worried. At the same time, Bo wondered if everything would turn out alright. “Bo? Where’d you go?” Nancy-Lou asked. He folded his letter and placed it back in his pocket.

“Right here sweetheart,” Bo answered. She smiled at him, throwing her arms around him. Bo couldn’t help but smile but soon it slithered from his face.

“You were reading the letter again?”

“Yeah.” Bo sighed. “I don’t know Nancy-Lou, this place just doesn’t seem right without him.”

“You know, he wrote a note for every single one of us?”

“You too?”

“Oh yeah, me too. Bo, your Uncle loved every living soul.”

“What did yours say?” Nancy smiled. She pulled out the letter, touching its soft pages. She handed it to her husband. He opened it and read:

Dear Nancy-Lou,

I am so proud of you for everything you did in Hazzard County. At first, you didn’t believe in yourself. Now, you are a confident resident of this beautiful place. I called it home for many years and I hope that you will do the same.

You are the only one I have ever met that could truly tame the heart of Bo. He was a lot like me in my day. You know, I thought I would be reckless forever. However, my wife tamed me of that habit—well, maybe not all together. Nancy, let him go on his adventures. He loves Hazzard so much as I know you do.

Have children be in this home. There is no better place to raise a child than on this farm. All the bills have been paid off. The entire mortgage has been paid in full. I want you two to have a new start which is why I am leaving you the farm, don’t tell Bo.

Nancy, you will go through many challenging times as husband and wife but communicate. That word means so much. I want you to always talk with your husband and let him know how much you love him and cherish him.

Make every day count. Don’t waste time on fighting. Just love each other. If you do this, you will forever be in the grace of the almighty.

I love you very much.

Uncle Jesse.

Bo smiled. He handed the letter back to Nancy-Lou. “Yours was longer than mine,” Bo commented.

“He needed to say more to me. I am a Davenport—I have a temper to match my good intentions,” Nancy-Lou told him. Bo smiled.

“You haven’t shown it yet.” They kissed each other. Now friends, that is love. I hope we continue to see this.

2

Bo got into bed, lying beside his wife for the first time. It was a special moment between the two of them. “So, what do you want to name our first son?” Nancy-Lou asked. Bo pondered about it for a while. He never thought about what to name children.

”Well we can name him after your dad if you want,” Bo replied. Nancy had a confused look on her face. She suddenly had a look of clarity.

“No, I think that he would be expecting that.” She yawned softly to herself. “But I think that it should be after you. Or maybe someone in your blood line would be best. How about we
name him after your father?”

“David? No, it doesn’t seem right.” Nancy thought for a minute. She couldn’t think of a better name than this one. It rang through her head like a
million bells. Nancy looked at her new husband.

“How about we call him Jesse? It’s the most appropriate name.”

“You know that’s the best idea that you’ve ever had. I love it. We will name him a name that will stick always.”

“I’m glad you like it sweet heart.”

“I am glad too.” They kissed each other and smiled. “Now, we best be getting to sleep.” Bo yawned long. “We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“You’re right, Good night Mister Duke.”

“Goodnight Misses Duke.”

They were right, with the crow of the rooster, the two were working like wild fire. They seemed to not want to stop for no one. When the cows were fed, the chickens needed feeding. When the horses were done being brushed it was nonstop carrying of the fields.

So far there was no rest for the weary, especially on the farm. As soon as all the chores were done, Nancy-Lou and Bo made breakfast together and ate together. It was a nice moment between husband and wife. Not even ten minutes after dishes were done, someone phoned the house.

“Bo, I am sorry to bother you,” Essy-Jane commented.

“Hey Essy,” Bo replied.

“Look, I am I am really sorry. Someone challenged Judd to a wood chopping contest. Little Esmeralda got in the way and…Judd cut his toe open. Would you be able to…?”

“Essy-Jane, I’ll take Judd to the hospital. You don’t have to worry about a thing. He’ll be just fine and you can stay with Esmeralda.”

“Oh Bo, I can’t thank you enough.”

“What are cousins for?”

“I am sorry for ruining…”

“Don’t worry about it, Nancy will understand, honest she will.”

“Thanks Bo, see you soon.”

“Okay, bye Daisy.” Daisy hung up the phone and Bo did the same.

“What is it? What will I understand?” Nancy asked.

“Judd cut his toe open with an axe.” Bo buttoned up his shirt. “Essy needs someone to take him to the hospital.”

“Yeah, I do understand.”

“Okay, I am so sorry.”

“Honey, when I married you I married your family too. When they have an emergency, I don’t mind sitting in the sidelines.”

“I’ll make it up to you.” Bo kissed Nancy. “I’ll do it tonight.”

“No need lover boy, you just did.” Bo raced out the door and got into the General Lee. He shook his head.

“What kind of a husband am I?” He couldn’t believe he was a newly wed and that he was already leaving to help Essy-Jane. Jesse Duke was right, the minute he was gone, Bo took over completely. “Is this how it always was for you?”

Bo shook his head. He started up the engine and began to drive. He turned the corner and there was Cletus chasing him. Bo shook his head. “Cletus this here is Bo, I have a medical emergency. Judd cut his foot,” Bo said over the CB.

“Buzzers on a buzz saw, you get going Bo, sorry to bug you,” Cletus replied over the CB.

“No problem. Over and out—see you around. You can chase me later.” Bo put the CB receiver down. He made it over to the Duke house in town. Bo stopped the car and got out. He looked at Daisy.

“Oh thank goodness, Dr. Tomlin wasn’t in today and Judd’s foot was bleeding so bad that…” Essy began.

“Now Essy-Jane, I want you to take a deep breath.” Essy did as her younger cousin said. “Now let it out really slowly.” Essy let her breath run out coolly. She sighed in relief.

“Thank you Bo.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled at her. “Where’s my patient?” Essy began to laugh, she pointed in the house. Bo smiled. “That will do just fine.”

“Okay, you need help?”

“Sure, why not.” Essy-Jane and Bo helped Judd into the General Lee and they were on their way to the hospital.

“Hey is something wrong, Bo?” Judd asked. Bo sighed.

“You could tell huh?” Judd nodded. Bo shrugged and laughed. “Funny Daisy didn’t notice anything was wrong.”

“All of a sudden, you had the look Uncle Jesse always got when there was trouble just around the bend.” Bo smiled.

“Am I that much like him?”

“You know Bo, you have done a lot of growing up which is pretty amazing.” Judd smiled and shook his head. “You are doing a great job but something is on your mind. You want to talk?”

“Well, I was just wondering how boring Hazzard was going to get.” Judd crocked an eyebrow.

“Hazzard? Boring?” Judd laughed as he shook his head. “Now there are two words I didn’t think would be used in one sentence.”

“With Boss Hogg gone there ain’t goanna be anymore opponents.” Judd Duke shrugged.

“JD Hogg—hmm, he wasn’t your only challenge in Hazzard as I recall.”

“He was the biggest though.”

“Yes there is. Didn’t you hear? With all the money Roscoe’s gotten…he’s going to get a tutor. Boss gave him all of his memoirs. Now, if he doesn’t learn from those—I don’t think he’ll learn from anyone.”

“This will be different.”

“You think?”

“Nah, I know it will.”

“Well I don’t know.” Bo scratched his head. He turned the corner on the old dirt road. Judd Duke smiled.

“You just wait and see Bo. Things will be different but the same.” Bo continued driving. He made his way over to the hospital.

3

As Bo had promised, Cletus had found him and was chasing him yet again. Bo always loved a good chase. It was just like old times only Luke wasn’t in the seat. Bo missed his cousin. He longed for Luke to be making his comments.

“Why does everything have to change? Huh Uncle Jesse? Why does everything have to move forward? A few years ago, Luke would have been telling me what I was doing wrong with my driving. Now—well, I don’t know, I don’t think that he’ll ever do that for me again,” Bo said. He shook his head.

Bo took a big jump. He looked up and smiled as Cletus tried the same thing. He landed in the tree. Bo stopped to see if he were alright. Sure enough, Deputy Hogg was shaking his head and falling out of the tree.

Bo began to laugh. He sped back home. As he got out of the car, Nancy-Lou got in. She moved over to the driver’s seat. Bo didn’t understand his wife. He came home to spend some time with her and now—well, here they were.

“Am I new at this?” Bo questioned. Nancy-Lou started up the engine. Bo was now beyond confused. What was his wife thinking?

“No, we’re goanna look around, I am telling you Bo Hazzard is too quiet. BB was so bored he called us,” Nancy-Lou replied.

“Well Roscoe’s running the County now. Just how much danger could it get into?” Nancy-Lou tapped her foot. “No, Roscoe couldn’t get into that much trouble.”

“You wanna make a bet? It is Hazzard. There has to be something going on.” Bo shook his head.

“You ain’t goanna let me rest are you?” Nancy smiled and shook her head no. “Now Mrs. Duke, you sly dog you.”

“I thought it would help to go on a Hazzard adventure. After all while you were gone, I always went on them with Essy-Jane.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“I may not be Luke but I am a good driver and I can shoot a pretty mean arrow.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back…I forgot Jesse’s pocket watch in the drawer.”

“Hurry back, my love.” He gave her a long kiss. Bo nodded. “I mean it, I am waiting for you. I love you more than anything Bo. Please remember that.”

“I couldn’t forget, Nancy, not ever.” He kissed her again. Now can’t you tell they’re newly weds? I sure can.

He walked into the house. He opened up the drawer and pulled out the pocket watch that had been used by his Uncle for years.

Bo looked up at a picture of his Uncle sitting on the mantle. He couldn’t believe it had only been a couple months since he had last really talked to him. Bo smiled.

“Uncle Jesse, is this what you meant? Huh? Do it with Nancy?” Bo asked. He sighed as a smile rolled on his face. “I guess you think of everything huh?”

Bo put the watch on his new overalls. He knew that they would get lots of wear before he was through with them. Bo didn’t mind. It was always something he expected to happen.

Bo walked outside and got into the General Lee. Nancy-Lou put it into drive. Her eyebrows went up. She began to drive.

“It took you long enough,” Nancy told her husband. She switched gears. Bo shook his head.

“When did you become such a lead foot anyway?” Bo questioned.

“When you left to go to NASCAR—and then when you went for your music career.”

“You did fine without me then Mrs. Duke?”

“Nah, I still missed you. I had to think, alright what would Bo do.”

“You did, did you?”

“Oh yeah and I was plum scared half the time I have done things.”

“You do realize Nancy-Lou that you have got yourself a southern accent now, don’t ya?” Nancy nodded as she laughed.

“Bo, I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Nancy-Lou saw a dip in the road and took it. “Besides, what kind of a Hazzardite would I be if I wasn’t Southern?” Bo laughed.

“You’re funny.” The General Lee landed. Bo couldn’t help but be excited. “YAHOOO! Dang that was smooth.”

“Good, you like my driving. You better or you’ll get a cold dinner.”

“No, you better like mine or you’ll get a cold dinner.” Bo began to laugh. “Remember, I still cook better than you.”

“I beg to differ.” Nancy winked as she made her way into town. Now these two were really good together. I am glad they got married.

These two will make a wonderful couple. I just know they want to have a happy marriage. Well it will be a busy one in Hazzard County.

4

Sure enough, something was going on. No, Hazzard doesn’t end because Boss Hogg leaves. Do you see that? Cletus and Roscoe are conversing. A Hogg and a Coltrane. I tell you, it seems like that relationship will never end.

“Roscoe…” Cletus began. Roscoe cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, BOSS ROSCOE, why did you want to see me?”

“Ain’t it obvious Cletus?” Roscoe asked. Cletus thought for a minute and shrugged. “I need a partner. Enos is too honest to go with my schemes but I know you are…unless you’re a bad Hogg.”

“Well…I don’t know if I…”

“Cletus, stand up to the plate. What would Jefferson-Davis Hogg think of you if you suddenly…”

“Cousin Boss would probably belt me one.” Roscoe nodded once. “Well I guess I could go along with what you’re saying but…”

“Good, I’ll give you the same cut Boss gave me.”

“Oh great, I’m goanna be poor.”

“HUSH!”

“What are we doing?” Roscoe smiled. He rubbed his hands together.

“I got the idea from that woman who went through here. You remember the one—she had that truck full of casino parts?”

“YAWN, it has been done.”

“I don’t care if it has been done a million times, we’re goanna do it. There’s more too, Khee.” Now Boss Hogg usually ran multiple schemes. Roscoe decided he would try to be as cunning.

“More?”

“We have some hot goods coming in that we’re goanna buy real cheap and sell at full price.” Roscoe smiled as he stuck a chocolate cigar in his mouth.

“Is that real?”

“It’s chocolate you dipstick!” Roscoe straightened up in his chair. “Now, you need to get them pesky Dukes out of the way or they’ll mess up everything.”

Well Roscoe, you are right but you are too late. The truck with all the “Hot Goods” is being chased by Nancy-Lou. Now if you wonder why, well just wait until Bo asks her.

“Why are we chasing the truck?” Bo questioned. You see, I knew he was goanna ask.

“That’s Boss’ driver,” Nancy-Lou replied.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah, I could spot ol Steven from a mile away. He used to work for my Dad.”

“Driving the senator? What a job.”

“Yeah well Dad fired him when he found out he was selling pictures of Dad to his opponents.” Bo shook his head.

“What is this world coming to?”

“Well anyway, if Steven is driving you know it is something hot.”

“You also know that Roscoe will say something stupid to get out of it.”

“Like, well I don’t tell him what to do on his free time.”

“You got it.”

“So what do you wanna do?” Bo reached into the glove box. He grabbed a radio.

“They goanna end up noticing General Lee trailing them. I’ll go aboard.”

“How are we goanna get them to stop?”

“Didn’t Essy-Jane Duke say that Tina was in town?” Nancy smiled. Now for all of those who don’t know Tina, she is Jeb Stewart Duke’s youngest sister.

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope.” Tina has blonde wavy hair and great—uh—legs. Well I am a man ain’t I? She could blow a man right off his chair. So to use her as bait was smart.

“This is Shepard calling Tiny, are you in Tiny, come back?” Bo questioned over the CB.

“This is Tiny, Shepard, I got my ears on, what do you sweetheart?” Tina questioned.

“Hey we need a decoy. You remember the road we tripped the bike messenger on when we was kids?”

“How could I forget?”

“I need you there in ten minutes.”

“10-4 Cousin, I’m gone.”

“What the heck are you goanna do with Tina Duke?” Nancy asked.

“What are Dukes good at?” Bo questioned as he put the CB down.

“Well you had better know what you’re doing.”

“Of course I do.” Now I wonder how this is goanna go? I guess we’ll have to sit and watch now won’t we. Hold on folks.

5

As Steven was making his way to his stop, there he saw the strange car sitting there. Now this is a beauty. This is what they call a 1968 Triumph TR250. This is an example of fine building.

I tell you, this car is gorgeous. It has a 2.5 liter six cylinder—twin carb…150 Bhp. Oh baby, I am drooling. This royal hotness is very rare.

Would you believe that Tina won this bad boy in a poker game? I bet the poor fool who parted with this one is crying in his boots. Nice car, for sure.

There was only about eight thousand ever made. It is highly sought out—even though it ain’t very old yet. Now the poor British man gave it to her but not all that willingly.

Anyway, there was a set of legs sticking out of the front of the car. Now any hot blooded man who loved cars and women would stop for her. Thank goodness Tina hadn’t been there for a while. No one would recognize her.

“What seems to be the problem, sugar?” Steven asked. Tina slid from out from under the car.

“Well howdy, sure was nice of you to stop. You are a cute one,” Tina began. Wow.

“You drive a roadster huh?” She smiled.

“Yeah but my baby up and died on me. Dang, I love this car but she needs a lot of work. Especially when a gopher comes into her undercarriage.” Steven pulled at his collar.

“Well, I’ll take uh—I will take a look for you.” Now this was good timing. Bo climbed in the back of the box. He smiled at his wife who closed the doors for him.

She waved at Steven who promptly got back in his truck. Nancy-Lou laughed. She couldn’t believe it worked. Tina began waving at the driver, handing off the car like she was a slinky car decoration.

“This is Shepard calling Mad Mama, do you hear me? Come back?” Bo said over the CB. She smiled.

“Mad Mama here. What do you need sweetheart, come back?” Nancy-Lou questioned.

“We have hit the jackpot here. There are stereos and things. Dang, I think we need to pull in the whole gang for this one.”

“I believe you Shepard. This one is goanna be a fun operation to destroy.” Nancy-Lou scratched her nose. “I think we need to bring in some bears.”

“Oh yeah but not our bears.”

“I was thinking State bears.”

“Nancy-Lou, you hop to it gal. You phone up those bears.”

“What about you, honey?”

“Oh come on Nancy, I can handle myself.”

“You sure?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll be hanging out here.”

“I’ll switch cars with Tina.”

“Great idea.”

“She’ll follow you in the General Lee.”

“You can get the poop from her when you get back in the saddle.”

“10-4 babe.”

Now I wonder how this was goanna go. Then again, there are Dukes everywhere. Well and the Davenport clan who would help out too. I guess we better hold on to something, this one will be interesting.

5

While Bo was sitting, Nancy-Lou called the police. Tina was trailing the truck and Essy was coming up behind in Uncle Sam. Now friends, this will be quite the ride.

Look what Luke and Daisy are missing? Poor people. I wouldn’t ever wanna leave Hazzard but Luke has his reasons. Daisy is having fun in LA. She seems to enjoy it.

Well, I guess that Hazzard will be waiting for their visits. Until then, we had better get on the goodie wagon, the kids are ready. In other words, the action is about to begin.

Now Bo was still in this truck which was okay because Tina was behind him. However, Steven spotted General Lee—which Bo thought would happen. That’s why he was in the truck in the first place.

Well, Bo could hear the sirens behind him. “Tiny this is Shepard, what’s up?” Bo questioned on his radio.

“Big trouble Shepard—ah, Cletus is on my tail. I am goanna have to loose his lights. You have to be landing soon so—when you get there give me your 20 okay cuz?”

“Yeah sure Tiny, you just stay away from ol smoky behind ya.”

“10-4 cousin.” Now, let’s see how Tina does against Roscoe’s crony, Cletus. Dukes are usually good at two things love and cars.

Now Jeb Steward Duke seems to be good with motorcycles. How about good ol Tina Duke? Well I guess we’ll just have to watch.

“Tina, this is Messy Essy, don’t worry about the cookie trail—I’m on it,” Essy said over the CB. Now she was behind the truck following. Ain’t them Dukes smart?

“10-4 Messy Essy, you keep on him,” Tina answered. She put the CB down. “Let’s see if you can keep up with Hazzard pond.” Tina turned the corner and smiled. She swerved left and right.

Cletus was in his car chewing bubble gum. His eyebrows went up and he had a smile on his face. Now friends, look at Tina go.

“This is Cletus Hogg calling the General Lee, pull over you’re under arrest,” Cletus commented.

“This is Tiny Tina Duke now what’s the charge Deputy?” Tina questioned over the CB.

“Ah—following too close.”

“Sure Cletus, I was WAY, WAY back.”

“Fine then, following too far.” Tina rolled her eyes. She swerved by the water. She took the jump.

“You ain’t goanna catch me here.”

“Watch me.” Cletus did the same thing. He was smiling away. “I think I am goanna make it this time! Then I’ll…” Nope, he wasn’t goanna make it. He went into the water. There was a large splash.

“This is Messy Essy calling Tiny, how did you do, over?” Essy questioned over the CB.

“This is Tina, I am heading back to the danger zone. Don’t worry, we’ll get them good. We’re headed to the barn just off of route ninety,” Tina answered.

“Alright, be there in half a smidgen. I just have to jump over Cletus again.” Now ain’t the Dukes funny? Tina made another jump over the pond and went the other way.

The truck pulled over. AS the doors opened, Bo kicked one of the men in the face. Now this was goanna really be interesting. Bo looked, at them.

“You know, four on one ain’t a fair set of odds. Why don’t I fight one of ya at a time?” Bo asked. Nine more men came out. Bo swallowed.

“Who is he?” One of the men asked.

“Reg, he’s Bo Duke, a local hero,” Steven replied.

“I don’t like heroes.”

“And I don’t like losers who pick on one person,” Essy said.

“That goes double for me,” Judd added.

“Well you know, thirteen against three ain’t goanna work for you,” Reg told Judd.

“Y’all haven’t heard of him have you? Do you know Killer Kane?” Bo questioned.

“Boxer?”

“That would be the one.” Suddenly they heard something.

“What the heck is that?” Steven asked. The Dukes got on the floor. The other men weren’t sure what to make of it. General Lee went through the top of the barn and right out the other side.

Judd took on two at a time. Bo—three. Essy-Jane had already walloped one guy into the ground and was working on a couple. Two of them held her while another tried to come after her.

Well when Judd saw this, he shook his head. “No one does that to my wife,” He hissed. Judd hit the two guys he was fighting right down—one punch each.

He ran towards his wife with fire in his eyes. Judd knocked all three to the ground. Essy-Jane smiled as she got up.

“My hero,” Essy laughed. She kicked the guy that was about to hit Judd with a chair.

“No, my hero,” Judd replied. They shook hands. BB and his wife Kim walked in. They smiled.

“Dang, I’m goanna love this!” Kim announced. She began beating up some of the men.

Well you want me to make this short and sweet? Bo and his gang of amazing people beat up the baddies before Nancy-Lou got there.

Yup, Boss Roscoe had lost his first round. Now why do you think that happened? Well come on the Dukes almost always win—in Hazzard County.

THE END.