by: Essy Jane

As we got home, I kept hearing Uncle Jesse telling me to wake up. I
could hear him crying. Vance was in the background too. I thought that he
left already. “You have just got to make it Bo,” He cried. I
didn’t understand. Make it? What did he mean? I was right here.

“Wake up Bo, please wake up. For me,” Coy commented. I was awake
and I really didn’t know what he was talking about. My family had
suddenly vanished and I couldn’t see anything but darkness. It rolled over
me like nothing I’d ever experienced before. There was a haze in the
distance and I walked towards it.

A beautiful young blonde stood there smiling at me. She had curly hair
just like me. I wondered who she was at first but soon, I figured it
out. I looked at her and cried out, “Mom.” She couldn’t help but
laugh.

“You have made quite the dream world for yourself these past couple
of months,” She commented.

“Dream world, what do you mean dream world?”

“Since you couldn’t be with Luke, you joined the dream and jumped
into where he was. You were a war hero inside your own head. You did
what you always wanted to do. You wanted to be where your cousin was, feel
his pain but Bo, you can’t keep this up. You have got to go home.”

“Mom…what do you mean?”

“Honey, if you stay any longer in your dream, you’ll have to come
with me and you can’t do that Bo.”

“Why not?”

“You’re too young.”

“Too young for what Mom, what am I too young for?”

“It is not your time son. One day you will come up here and we’ll
be together again.” I didn’t understand until I opened my eyes. I
was in a big white room with yellow curtains in it. I looked at the IV in
my hand and watched as my Uncle Jesse slept beside me. I was in the
hospital. The whole war thing was a dream…but how could it be?

Riding to get the mail from Miss Tizdale. She told me she was proud of
me for beating up the guy picking on Coy. Then again, Miss Tizdale
wouldn’t say that…would she? It seemed so real, Cookie and the boys.

I stared down at my other arm. It had a cast on it. I felt my head, it
was bandaged. What had happened to me? I couldn’t understand this.
Vance walked into the room and looked at me. His eyes widened.

“Hey cousin,” He whispered.

“How did I get here?” I asked him.

“Were we ever worried about you, Bo Duke. You gave us quite the
scare. When you went to go and get the mail, you were in a horrible
accident. Cooter heard someone laying on the horn and a crash. When he came
out, you were laying on the ground with a dump truck two feet behind you.
Cooter was so scared. He called an ambulance and here you are.”

“How long have I been out?”

“About six months. The doctors were sure you were gonna kick the
bucket last night. Uncle Jesse sat up with you. Coy keeps blamin’ himself
saying it was his fault you went out there. Something about his turn to
get the mail.”

“You ain’t been drafted have you?”

“Shoot no, I ain’t been drafted.” I sighed in relief. He laughed
at me for a second. “Why would you think I have been drafted?”

“Oh, it seemed so weird. I dreamt that I went into the army in your
place.”

“Say what?”

“No, really, I went into the army and I came out a major. I told
everyone I had moved to California. Luke was mad at me, you were mad at me.
Uncle Jesse didn’t ever find out about it. Luke came home and he gave
me a graduation present. I can’t believe it has only been six months.
I swear it felt like three years.”

“Well dreams always seem to be longer than they are.”

“Luke did go to the marines’ right?”

“Yeah, that happened.”

“How is he holding up?”

“Luke wants to come home but Uncle Jesse told him not to. He’s so
worried about you.”

“So was I,” Uncle Jesse mumbled.

“Hey, I was wondering when you would wake up,” Vance said, a little
bit louder.

“How are you doing boy?” Uncle Jesse asked.

“Sore all over,” I answered.

“Well you were hit by a dump truck Bo,” Coy said as he walked in.
He sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you okay?”

“I am just fine. You know what though? All this time I wanted to
prove I was someone in this family. I felt like everyone was ignoring me.
When I was in that dream, I felt like I was king of the world but the
whole time, I didn’t have you guys. I’m home and I have never been
happier to be here.”

“We love ya too Bo.”

A few weeks later, I was back at home. That day, I was on the phone
with Luke. The noise was amazing in the background. “You have no idea
how glad I am to hear your voice,” Luke announced. I laughed.
“Honestly, it has been horrible over here. All the people dying. Heck, there
was this one kid who reminded me of you. They call him Little Duke. His
name is really Earl Thompson but he reminded me so much of you
that…”

“That’s weird.”

“What?”

“In my dream, that was my nickname.” Luke laughed.

“You have got to be kidding.”

“Nope.”

“Anyway, my time is almost up on the phone. You take care of yourself
ya hear? No more dump trucks.”

“I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.” I hung up the phone and smiled. I was proud of my cousin and
I couldn’t wait for him to come home. I wondered why joining the
dream made me realize what I have. I do love my family and lately, they
have all been spending more time with me. I want to do as much as I can
with Vance before he and Coy moved up to Connecticut. They want to go up
there and start a new.

Uncle Jesse is happier than he has ever been. Daisy and I have become
closer. Our family, though different than most has seemed to overcome
every tragedy and if we continue to stick together, we will become better
than anyone could ever think possible.

THE END

by: Essy Jane

The war had ended two months ago…on April 30th 1979 to be exact. I couldn’t
believe it was finally over. The death rate was high and we hadn’t won. A
lot of men were captured which didn’t make me happy. Neither side really got
anything.

We expected Luke to come home but guess what? He wasn’t coming home. I
couldn’t believe that. If that wasn’t bad enough to make your stomach churn
I don’t know what would. I couldn’t believe that he wasn’t coming home. I
couldn’t share anything with anyone. Accept Cooter of course. Maybe to Vance
in letters but lately Coy has been suspicious so I would rather not. Anyway
we didn’t get a phone call. All we received from him was a dang note:

Dear Bo,

I decided to stay in Vietnam. I really like it here. I know that it seems
like the wrong decision now but maybe someday you will understand. I have
found someone who I think would be perfect for me and I hope she feels the
same way. Her name is Cookie and her husband died.

Anyway, I love you.

Signed,

Luke

I crumpled it up and tore it to shreds. I couldn’t believe he had done that
to us. The rage inside me had filled. I didn’t want this to be the way it
was. Luke back in Vietnam and me sitting there waiting for letters for two
months. I wanted to see him again! Now he’s with Cookie! Why did he do this
to me all the time? I didn’t ever want to think about him again.

I would be the only one around. I didn’t have anyone to share my stories
with. I couldn’t tell Uncle Jesse. I just couldn’t burden him with tales
from the frontline. I couldn’t tell Coy…even if I could he wouldn’t get it.
I just didn’t know what to do. I hated Luke and I loved Luke all at the same
time. I didn’t want anything to happen to the man. It was like nothing I
could imagine.

I rushed out of the house and took out my keys to the pickup. I couldn’t
believe how mad I was. I could have killed someone at that moment. There was
only one way to solve it though. I had to see Cooter or go to Vietnam…one of
the two. Vietnam was a little out of my league. Cooter would have to do in
this case. I couldn’t believe that I was this angry. I wanted Luke back more
than anything. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t home. I needed him. I didn’t
want to travel that far to have a heart to heart talk.

Anyway, when I got to Cooter’s he was working on Boss Hogg’s car. He looked
up at knew I was in one of my moods. I don’t know how he does it but Cooter
has a Luke quality about him. He always knew what was wrong with me…even
when I was younger. “Are you having a bad day?” Cooter asked.

“Luke ain’t coming home. I can’t believe he did this to me! I needed to talk
to someone about it. He’s not here. I can’t tell him anything and I have
always wanted him to come home. How could Luke do this to me?” I rambled.

“Slow down Bo! You know sometimes you just need to sit down and work on a
car. How about you work on Boss Hogg’s car?”

“No thanks, I don’t want to work with it today.”

“Bo, sometimes people have to make their own decisions whether they are good
or bad.”

“Well I wish he would have chosen differently.”

“You know what? I wish you would have too. I wish you would have had the
sense to stay home. I couldn’t go and drag you back though. I couldn’t
because you made your first grownup decision and it was your
responsibility.”

“You couldn’t have either.”

“Do you want to make a bet? I am crazy, I could do anything.”

“You ain’t that crazy.”

“I am too and you wouldn’t be able to prove to me otherwise. I can run drag
races better than anyone I know. I can do it dirty or clean depending on my
mood. Do you know how fun it was steeling Rosco’s car?”

“I could only imagine. You know what? You always seem to have all the right
words. That’s crazy!”

“See? I am crazy. You just proved it. Ha!”

“Cooter…thanks.”

“My garage is open everyday and you know the times.”

“Thank you…as usual you’re a great friend. I am happy we meant.”

“I am happy we did too.” Well that was the end of that. I am sure that
conversations could run way longer. But with that I was off again. I still
felt awful about Luke being gone but I couldn’t do anything about it. He was
in good hands. Cookie would take care of him if nothing else. She was good
at taking care of people. I suppose it was meant to be that way.

It took forever to get here, oh the joy of the end of school. I forgot how
horrible school can be. Not with fights or anything but with the boredom. I
was in the grade I was supposed to be in though I in no way did I ever think
that I would get this far. Being in school is almost like going through
basic training. Something about it made me happy that this was the last time
I had to do these courses. I suppose when you have done them all you would
think a person would be bored of it. I was bored of it.

My friends liked me a lot better than they used to. Sometimes they would
notice a change though. They would see that there was something different
about the Bo Duke they knew. Well I was different. I couldn’t act on
everything I did. I suppose some things were meant to be and others could be
changed.

As I said, I held my own destiny in my own hands. I chose my path and I
would continue doing so. I didn’t want anyone on this planet to tell me
otherwise. When I was faking things I felt like the biggest liar in the
world. I didn’t want to do it anymore, I couldn’t do it anymore. People were
counting on me to be a Duke. I wanted to live up to those Duke standards.

I wasn’t dumb nor should I pretend to be. Uncle Jesse was right about that
part. Something in me knew that all along. However people expected me to be
a certain way. Sometimes you would have to act that way. I promised though
that I would try and keep things as real as I could get them.

One thing that would have to stay the same is Luke coming up with all the
ideas. That was just the way the cookie crumbled for me. I wasn’t about to
change this since it was always the same way. Luke was the one who was the
smart one and I was the slow one. I could continue that act until he left
Hazzard to find a new life.

Can you believe I still haven’t been arrested yet? I have been running
moonshine over to towns and other places for the last little while. I have
almost been caught three times but never arrested. I thought the day would
come when I would be thrown in prison. Uncle Jesse tells me I shouldn’t want
to get arrested. But I have always wanted to know what its like to be in
jail.

Anyway, I never thought this day would come. Graduation was here. There was
so much to prepare for. I already had a tuxedo that Daisy made for me. You
know she is quite the little seamstress. I can’t believe how good it looks.
She told me that I had to go to the after party. I didn’t know if I should
or not. That seemed kind of childish. I would do it though because she made
that tux and it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t wear it.

Coy told me that I would be good up there giving a speech. I would not and
besides with my luck I would fall on my face. I didn’t know what else to
tell people besides I was horrible at public speaking. Except when it came
to the army that is when I was really good.

What the one thing was that really surprised I was? Well I guess I should
tell y’all. I was called into the principal’s office and guess what? “You
are valid Victorian this year,” Principal Jumbles said.

“Are you kidding me? You are telling the truth aren’t you? You have to be
kidding right?” I questioned him.

“No I am not. You have the highest test scores and the best marks. However
since you did the course again and you were doing well when you did it this
doesn’t surprise me.”

“Mr. Jumbles I earned this mark. I did my best. I didn’t cheat and I worked
harder than you could ever believe.”

“I know you did and I am proud of you.”

“This is a great honour.”

“You have earned it. I didn’t think you could do it again. Some people that
take a year off of school and come back never seem to get back into the
string of things. Considering the fact that you have been through war I
would say you have done well. I want you to give a speech.”

“No…I can’t do that.”

“You lead a unit into war didn’t you?”

“Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Bo, you have given speeches there. Now what makes you think you can’t do it
in front of parents and friends here?”

“I just can’t. There’s something inside me that can’t seem to do it. I
didn’t want to do it before and I can’t do it now.”

“You never got to meet the grade 9 gym teacher did you?”

“No I didn’t, why do you ask?”

“He’s quite the man. I am sure if I can’t convince you he could.”

“Don’t be so sure about that Mr. Jumbles. I know that you can’t persuade me
nor could he. I mean in all honesty I think I am a little bit better than
that. I can’t give speeches. I never have been able to. Not in front of
people I know anyway. You know I couldn’t do it.”

You can and you will Bo, that’s the attitude this man had. Mr. Jumbles was a
fool if he thought he could get me to speak in public. I wouldn’t be able to
do it even if my life depended on it. I couldn’t believe this guy. There was
no way in the world I would do this. I was shy. I didn’t want to public
speak anymore. I didn’t even want to look at a microphone. I guess I was
being irrational but there was a reason for it. I didn’t want to have to
impress people anymore.

He told me to just talk to this man. I didn’t even know who he was. Though
the name Mr. Williams did ring a bell so I went; I suppose it would be good
if I met another person and tell him no. There was many ways to tell a man
no. I could think of thousand reasons why I shouldn’t give that dang speech
and only three that would make me want to. I didn’t want to do this at all.

I knocked on the big brown door. I didn’t know what to expect at first when
I head a familiar voice tell me to come in. I couldn’t move at first but
still again the voice repeated for me to come in. I walked ever so slowly
and nudged the door open with my right shoulder. It opened wider and wider
until I could see the inside of the classroom. All the desks were empty and
the man stood at the teacher’s desk with his back to me.

As I walked further into the room he turned around. It was someone I never
thought I would see again. It was the same Major that escorted me to my new
unit. We talked a lot before I went there to meet my men. I couldn’t believe
this. “I didn’t think it was you Little Duke. I was sure it was your younger
brother or something,” Mr Williams said. I couldn’t believe it was him. His
hair had some greys in it and he was still a wrinkly fellow.

“It’s nice to see you too. I didn’t know that it was you…I seriously didn’t.
I am sorry you saw me out of the army. It must be weird to think that I am a
student. I shouldn’t have gone into the army in the first place,” I replied.

“Well that is all in the past. I suppose it was all for the best. What was
your rank when you left the army Bo?”

“Major…I became a major.”

“I never thought that you would make it alive with these guys. You were so
young and idiotic so it seemed. I suppose you made a hero out of yourself.”

“I did.”

“Why are you refusing a class speech? You did so well when you were talking
to your troops. It almost made me feel like I wanted to join your outfit.”

“People were killed.”

“There are always people killed.”

“I don’t know what to say to these young kids.”

“Look, I know how you must feel.”

“Do I tell them that all life is easy? It isn’t easy at all. War was
horrible and life isn’t as easy as some would think.” I was sure that he
would know that. I mean he was in that war too. Not everything was as it
seemed in life. Hey…there’s a good first line.

“You need to do this…even if it isn’t for the kids. You need to do it for
yourself Bo.”

“I will sir.” I gave him a salute for old time sakes. He was happy to salute
back and that was a good sign. “Thank you very much and don’t rat on me. If
my men knew my real age they wouldn’t have respected me at all.”

“You know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think they would have been surprised. I think that they would have
thought it was neat. You were amazing out there so I heard.”

“I was just playing soldier.”

“You played very well at it.” With that I was out of the room again. Now to
find a place to write this dang speech…but where could I figure out my
speech? I had to think of something to say besides ‘good evening parents,
teachers and fellow students’. That wasn’t a speech. I couldn’t just go up
there and tell knock-knock jokes. That wouldn’t be proper and I would be
kicked off the stage.

Well by the time I put the finishing touches on the speech it was time to
give it. Everyone was in their ropes. I looked out at the crowd and wondered
if I could do this. I was sweating and my palms were clammy. I stood up
though as they called my name. If I could get through this I could get
through anything.

“Not everything was as it seems in life. Sometimes we think our future will
be handed to us and other times we have to work extra hard to know what is
there. I am one of those who took the hard root. Please don’t do what I did.
I may be your chosen person of the day but man did I have to earn it,” I
began. As I looked out into the distance I saw someone who I thought
wouldn’t be here. Luke looked up at me and smiled as he took a seat in the
back. I wondered why he was there. “Now we are moving ahead. Nothing is
going to stop us going onto new things. We’re all growing up even though we
don’t know it. We see the different groups and how they tick. Some of us
will grow up to be lawyers and doctors while others will remain farmers.
Only you can choose your path. Don’t make the wrong choice. Try to stay on
the path that makes the most sense to you. Please remember who you are and
where you come from. Always be proud to be an American. Be proud to know
that you came from Hazzard County. Remember that everyone here still will
remember you…as time flies by. You are the class of ’79!”

The crowd cheered for me. I was so happy. I couldn’t believe I had done it.
People were giving me a standing ovation which meant the world to me. I
think that I did well. There was nothing better than to have that feeling.
As we all received our diplomas I was proud to have it…for the second time.
I could always burn my other one…then again I was proud of that one too. So
I would keep them both…I would just have to hide one.

After I threw my hat up in the air, I ran towards Luke as fast as my feet
could carry me. I had him in a hug before he could say anything to me. I
couldn’t let him get away from me in that sense. He was my cousin and he
needed that hug from me. “You said you were staying in Vietnam!” I
exclaimed. He shrugged his arms. Something was wrong though and I could see
it in his face. It wasn’t like I didn’t know about it. I could always tell
when something was bothering the guy. He was troubled. Luke was just pretty
darn upset.

“Well I came home,” Luke replied.

“Why?”

“Cookie told me that I should be here…that was after she found out I was
your cousin. She said that you needed me more than I needed her. I didn’t
understand it until I saw you up there giving your graduation speech.”

“I knew you liked me.”

“Nope…I don’t like you.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean I love you…you’re like a brother to me. I thought I could avoid you
but guess what? You’re just too wonderful for that. You’re my favourite
cousin. Now tell me, what have you always wanted to happen?”

“Well I know you will think this is dumb but…I have always wanted to go to
prison.”

“I can arrange that Bo.”

Later that evening…

Rosco was doing inventory in his office. He always kept his car in front of
the police station. It was Rosco’s pride and joy. This car was given to him
by his rich Uncle Marvin Coltrane who was a smart man. He earned his money
fast. Anyway, he decided to give Rosco a sky blue 1960 Pontiac Bonneville.
Rosco adored that car more than anything else he owned.

Well of course we had to do something to get in jail. I had learned many
things from one of my men, who was an inmate, he taught me how to hotwire a
car. Now the thing is you can’t only steel a car. You have to do something
else too…kind of something to seal the deal. So of course I opened Rosco’s
car and hotwired it. Naturally Luke laughed as Rosco ran out trying to catch
me. I was left alone after that. Luke had this funny plan that I liked a
lot. I could almost hear him saying, “I tried to stop him but you know these
teenagers.”

I drove as fast as I could to the junkyard. This was going to be funny. Luke
was going to direct him in every which way except for the junkyard. Daisy
was sitting there waiting for me with that yellow and black car of hers. I
knew this would be great.

As I drove up onto the conveyor belt I got out of the car. Slowly I turned
on the machine and watched it go. How couldn’t this be good? Daisy drove me
to the front of the junkyard and told me, “You’re on your own. I don’t see
why you need to be such a big man by pulling a stupid stunt like this.”

“Well I am a man and men should be arrested at least once,” I replied.

“Maybe so but this is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of. They call
you smart and I am now questioning how you could be.”

“Relax, drive that road runner out of here…I don’t want him to think you
helped or I will get you arrested too.”

“Well I don’t want that on your record.”

I waved goodbye to Daisy and hello to Rosco…a ten minute difference
between the two. “Where’s my car you nitwit?” Rosco asked. I looked at him
with a smile. I thought this was funny but he wasn’t laughing. I didn’t
understand why he wouldn’t be laughing…it was hilarious to me. I suppose it
wasn’t that great to him.

“Well it is no longer a car. You can go look for yourself,” I replied. He
looked over at the small blue scrap of metal just sitting there. Rosco was
almost in tears.

“Oh my baby…you weren’t that old. Why would they do this to you?”

“Don’t you mean me? I did this.”

“No…Luke had to have had a hand in it.”

“No, you’re wrong. I was all me. I am telling you. See Rosco I devised this
evil plan to spite you for…running over my bike when I was five.”

“That was a long time ago. There is no way I am going to buy that.”

“How would you know if that wasn’t my motive?”

“You weren’t alone in this action.” Why in the world wouldn’t he believe me?
I did it…I wanted to be in jail. I didn’t want Luke to be in jail beside me.
I mean he didn’t deserve to have that on his record.

“I was too. You don’t know for how long I planned this. There was no way
Luke could have been involved in a scheme such as this.”

“I am sorry but I am not going to think that you did this on your own.” I
couldn’t believe this…Luke was in trouble too. How could that happen? Geeze,
everything always blew up in my face. Poor Luke…I always got him into
trouble too. What to do? Well run away from the law of course. But I wanted
to go to prison! Dang, this just isn’t my day today is it? Okay, we had to
get Luke out.

There was something that Reggie the thief did…what was it. Out came the
cuffs, he was going to put them on me first. I kicked them out of his hand
and Luke grabbed his gun. I ended up putting him in the cuffs; he was now
officially attached to his steering wheel. Oh this was good. However we
forgot one thing…a mode of transportation. Luke came with Rosco…our truck
was back home. I seem to always forget stuff like this. Now what? Walk home?
Well I suppose we couldn’t be arrested tonight and we didn’t have much of a
choice.

However, Rosco called for back up. Before I knew it I was in prison with
Luke. Rosco was out of the handcuffs. That was fast…I didn’t think it
would go so smoothly. Rosco fumbled a few times on my rights but that’s
okay. I didn’t mind…I wanted to hear those words.

Now one more obstacle…we were going to go over Uncle Jesse’s knee. I knew
that he was going to say something to his two boys. I was going to be in big
trouble and I knew it. I could tell by the expression on his face as he
walked in. You see, as I have said, being a Duke is a big responsibility. I
was supposed to be on my best behaviour instead of being the class clown. I
missed my old job. Therefore I was going back to it slowly.

That’s the problem with being Bo Duke. I don’t want to be like anyone else.
I don’t want to be unlike anyone else either. My gifts are meant to be my
own though I can share them when it’s necessary. I wasn’t about to loose
who I was…who I became. I couldn’t loose that. Only one person could
understand that feeling and that was my inmate Luke Duke. He was the only
one that could see through me.

I could look at him and tell him of all the secrets that I had in Vietnam.
With the rest of my family I would be scared stiff. It was over and I could
tell them. However in my heart I knew I was wrong. There was something about
those experiences that would have killed them all. I decided that it was
enough to hurt them with me being gone all that time. I suppose I was wrong
but I didn’t care.

Anyway, Daisy was with Uncle Jesse almost laughing. She held it in as best
as she could. I loved the jail cell. First off I got to do a lot of
thinking. I mean it was better than sitting on the porcelain unmentionables.
Anyway, I liked it and nothing Daisy could say could make me change my mind.

There were a few bad things about jail though. First off you get to hang out
with Rosco all night long. I have better things to do than look at his face
for half a night. Secondly, you can’t just open the door. I wanted to be
left out of that consequence. I didn’t like being locked up for that reason.
I liked being able to open the door just for the reason of opening the door.

Well, back to Uncle Jesse, you could see that vein on his head pop right out
to greet me. His eyes were building and his temper must have been through
the roof. Rosco took one look at him and backed away. Uncle Jesse could
scare bulls away with this temper. I couldn’t believe he was staying sane.
I knew that we had to say something sooner or later but I would rather it be
later.

“Luke?” Uncle Jesse questioned my cousin. I could see that Luke had no fear
of the situation. I wondered if it was his marine training that made my
cousin like that. Uncle Jesse used to scare him to death sometimes.

“It was his graduation present. Only…I got caught in the middle too,” Luke
commented.

“Now I have to pay two bails. What am I going to do with you?”

“I am sorry sir…we won’t get arrested again.”

“I am sure you will so don’t promise anything you don’t intend to keep.”

“Uncle Jesse…it was my idea. I planned it all. Luke just wanted to help me
so I wouldn’t get into so much trouble. Don’t blame him…he was only helping
out a brother,” I said.

“Well Brothers, I think you need to stay in jail a couple days to get this
out of your system. You will soon learn what real boredom is. I explained
things to Rosco and he’s only making us pay damages. Now if this happens
again, these things will be put on your permanent records so I would make an
earnest effort to stay away from bars. In the mean time, enjoy the next
three days with Rosco,” Uncle Jesse stated. Well that was the end of
discussion. We were now in jail.

What was good about jail? Well not too much. I thought it would be more
daring and more…well interesting. It wasn’t though. Well besides Luke’s bad
dreams and my staying up listening to him talk in his sleep. He would always
talk about his old missions. I couldn’t believe he would do it. This is my
second day in this prison cell. I can’t stand to think of what Rosco’s
deputy is doing. His name is Lou Ralts. Now Lou was demoted to Deputy and
Rosco took his job. It was because the poor man was getting older and Boss
was sure he would break something and blame him. Lou snored like something
awful.

The best part of prison would have to be Luke talking to me about his
experiences in the war. That allowed me to take a nap without having those
horrid dreams. I suppose that was my problem. The more I talked with him the
better I felt about him. The more I told him about my feelings the less
horrified he was as well.

I suppose we needed each other. It was like a bond that wasn’t the same as
any other. We weren’t just blood relatives we were friends as well.
Sometimes that is hard to spot. I know from personal experience that
brothers don’t always get a long. Sure we have had our fights but what
normal person doesn’t? I love my cousin and would drop on a grenade for him.
I would do it for him because he means that much to me.

Daisy means the same to me though. I mean really, she’s so wonderful to me.
Daisy will always be the best. I think of her more than a wonderful cousin.
She’s more like the person who sweeps you off your feet every second day.
Everything she does is amazing.

Coy is…well interesting. I never gave him enough credit though sometimes I
still hate that under developed vermin. I don’t know…I am in between with
him still. Both Vance and Coy aren’t like Luke and I. I suppose that could
be bad but it is not.

“Bo…what was the most interesting experience you had up at the front?” Luke
asked after being silent for an hour. I looked at his exhausted eyes and
wondered what could be going through his head right now.

“Well, one point in time when I first got there we were fighting all day. We
lost a lot of lives on that hill. I was still out there watching all of
these bodies being carried off by medics and such. Finally it broke and I
could see the stars as the smoke of the weapons cleared. You know what? It
was almost like they were shinning just for me. It was kind of…just telling
me that everything was okay…or that it was going to be okay anyway. How
about you Luke…what was your top experience?” I replied.

“A lot of times I thought that I couldn’t make it here. Now I think to
myself how come? Why did I ever doubt that I was coming back? We had these
boxing tournaments that were so amazing that I almost could cringe now. I
couldn’t believe half of the guys that I punched out. Every single time I
had a match I could always think of you and have the strength to do it.
Every time I went on a mission I thought about you and sometimes would
pretend you were beside me.”

“I did the same thing.”

“Bo…I never thought that I was with your girl.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Cookie…she told me off. She said that she loved you dearly though you were
young.”

“She liked me like a son. Cookie mothered me a lot. I couldn’t help but have
that relationship. However I could never have that whole loving relationship
with her. Cookie was too old for me…way too old for me.”

“Well she told me that I needed to go home. Cookie seemed to know what was
good for both of us. I thought that staying would be my best bet. She
thought otherwise. I was having all the nightmares and I hadn’t even left
yet.”

“What kind of nightmares have you had?”

“The whole deal…from faces of people I killed to…well everything.”

“Well I will tell of one experience. I killed a child. I didn’t mean to and
they said I couldn’t have known but I killed her all the same. I saw her
face…she was horrified. I couldn’t believe that I had shot her. I was on
guard duty and sometimes they come around to collect stuff for other GI’s to
make souvenirs. It’s sick but they need the money. Anyway…I shot her. I keep
seeing that face and it scares me. “

“Bo…I had no idea.”

“Well no one did.”

“You know, maybe we should take the time to talk more often.”

“That would be nice Luke…really nice. Boy, am I happy you came back. You
know that I was afraid I would never have a moment like this with you?”

“You mean going into prison?”

“No but that is a funny point. I never thought that you would ever be home
again.”

“On a lighter note, I didn’t we would go to prison either. I thought boys
like you and I would never end up in a place like this. I bet we never will
again. I bet you we will have such clean records even Uncle Jesse will beat
us.”

“Well I have a feeling we haven’t seen the end of bars.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know…I just have one of those feelings in my big toe…you know
the type Uncle Jesse gets?”

“Yeah I know what you mean. That don’t mean we have to act on it. After all
we are our own people.” I laughed at Luke and wondered what in the world he
was talking about. I didn’t have time to care. There was Deputy Lou griping
as usual as he brought down the trays. That moustache moved up and down. I
couldn’t believe how much it resembled a white rat. I had to giggle.

“What’s so all fired funny? Is it the food or the fact I am a deputy?” Lou
questioned. I couldn’t believe how mad he was about that still…though I
would be too if I was demoted to private on account of how young I am. I
didn’t say anything though. “You boys don’t know how awful that Rosco is.
Boss gives him my job and he ain’t ready for it yet. Sure he’s been a deputy
for a long time but he would rather make paper airplanes than listen to me.”
For some reason I could relate to what he was saying. Dubois could have
respected me but he didn’t. What was his punishment? Well he died of course.

“You ain’t alone,” I replied.

“You know he’s good at what he does. However, someday his intelligence will
slowly flow out of his brain. I tell you, greed takes over. With greed comes
stupidity.”

“I never thought about that.” If I was really rich and I decided I wanted
more money I would go to a casino. I would spend all of it and come out
empty handed. What would be the satisfaction in that? Well I suppose you
would have no more to gamble. It’s almost like gambling your life away. When
you loose it all you know it is time for a change. It was almost like when I
joined the army I presume. I gave up three years…three years where I could
have been a teenager instead of a man.

Somehow those words struck me like nothing I had ever heard before. I
couldn’t think of anything else. It was like something was telling me not to
be a fool in life. I mean really, who could depend on success as a way of
life? Even if I lived to be a poor farmer and I had a wife by my side I
would be better off than if I were rich and alone. It’s just the way it is.

Well I could see that sheriff coming down the stairs that night. The same
cold hardened look on his face was there. The same that hit his face every
time work was over; it wouldn’t be over if we stayed in for another night.
However, that evening, we were let out of prison and I had thought a lot
about life. I had thought about how I could make it different. I would not
let those, kind of things hold me back anymore.

Riding home I looked at my Uncle. The lines of life were starting to show on
his soft cheeks. What once was thick strawberry blonde hair was silver or
almost completely white. He had lived a good life…he raised us and kept a
good farm. He ran shine every now and then but that was a part of our
everyday life. Uncle Jesse was and still is a well respected person in the
community. He always lends a hand to all in need. He led a life I wanted to
live. I didn’t want to be consumed by those kinds of matters. We have each
other and that’s enough.

by: Essy Jane

Well there it was…welcome to Hazzard County. The sign I have been dreading
to see since I left. I suppose it would be like old times. I would be
fishing with the boys who were now grown up men. Maybe chasing after girls
who were not so appealing anymore; finding ones who were not only pretty but
mature. That would be a hard task. The same old rolling hills surrounded me.
I loved it more than anything but I just was not about to give up my old
life as a soldier.

There is much I have to leave behind but can’t seem to let go of. Like the
gun for instance…I was afraid to loose it. As I recall it was something
about me getting shot while on the plane. I don’t know how I got that idea
but maybe it was fatigue. I also couldn’t let go of what happened that day.
A lot of men were lost…I wish they weren’t.

I couldn’t believe my bus was coming to a stop here. I was really home. But
would it be my home? I mean with Vance being the way he was on the phone. I
didn’t know what to think. It was almost like I was coming into a new war
zone after leaving another one. It was going to be so weird coming back.

I sat down on the bench and took a deep breath wondering what I was going to
do with my life. I suppose I couldn’t go back to the way I was. Then again I
was an artist. If I couldn’t act through this I couldn’t do this. I loved to
act and the whole world was a stage to me at times. I could pretend I was
dumb but getting through those lost feelings would be hard.

I couldn’t help but think of things though. I wondered if they would ever
accept me again. I mean honestly, I am family but that doesn’t mean
anything. Vance thinks I am scum. I didn’t mean to be that way to him. I
didn’t mean to hurt him by joining the American dream. By joining the dream
I saved his life and fulfilled my own dream. I mean who could ask for more?
I saved his life and helped myself at the same time. Was it stupid? Of
course it was. You know if I hadn’t have joined the army I might have been
going to college. But what would have happened to Vance? I couldn’t think
about it.

I was also scared. I couldn’t tell anyone of what happened to me. I couldn’t
even breathe a word of what I saw and I knew that. All I could do was
whisper to myself. Mumbled words that would never hit the ears of anyone but
Luke and Cooter; Vance would never want to hear it. So I was practically
alone.

I was wearing my old clothes that I hadn’t worn since I got to the army.
They were fairly clean and looked the same way before I left them. I didn’t
bother asking Cooter for a ride I had been walking for the past three years
almost everywhere we had to go. There was no point stopping now.

I was seventeen and it was two months to summer vacation. I didn’t want to
miss a minute of it. My friends would all be getting out of school. I walked
along the Hazzard roads and wondered if I would be accepted back into my
Uncle Jesse’s life still.

I walked a long way from the bus station and as I saw my beautiful farm, I
noticed that everyone was working hard as usual. No one really looked up at
first. Uncle Jesse and Vance were in the fields. Daisy was making lunch and
Coy was chopping wood.

“You look busy,” I mumbled.

“Well I am just cutting wood Bo and…Bo! You’re home and you’re okay. Uncle
Jesse will be happy to see you. You wouldn’t believe how happy,” Coy
replied. Daisy walked out of the house and screamed at the sight of me. Well
at least I wasn’t ridiculed by these two. Daisy had me in a bear hug at
first sight.

“You stayed away too long you!” Daisy exclaimed.

“I missed all of you!” I shouted back. As Uncle Jesse came over from the
field, his sad face changed to a grin. Though I can’t say the same thing for
Vance, he looked at me and turned away almost like I was the worst person in
history.

Uncle Jesse didn’t need to say anything…he was in shock. He looked at me and
wrapped his arms around me. Uncle Jesse cradled me like a baby. The tears
came through despite the fact that I tried to hold them back. I couldn’t
help it. I missed him more than life. I didn’t want to leave ever again.

He walked me into the house and brought me into his room. I sat down on the
bed and I looked him in the eyes. Uncle Jesse looked at me…he looked right
into my very soul. I knew that he could see something that he hadn’t before.
“Did you finish finding who you were?” Uncle Jesse asked as he closed the
door. I smiled at him and wondered what in the world made him think that I
didn’t have it before.

“I did. I won’t ever leave again,” I answered.

“Don’t say that because I know that it is not true. Bo there will come a
time when you can’t stay anymore. You will move on with your life and I will
still be here when you need me. You can’t be here for the rest of your life
though.”

“Uncle Jesse…I can’t leave you. I don’t want to go for a long time.”

“You don’t have to. Bo you stay here as long as you need to. You will have
to earn your keep though. This ain’t a free ride.”

“I am so happy to be home.”

“Vance told me he wanted to leave when you got home. I don’t know why he
does but I guess that’s the way it is.”

“He doesn’t want to be around me. I am sorry I even came home but I couldn’t
stay away any longer.”

“I would rather have you here than out who knows where at the dead of
night.”

“I am sorry I never really called.” The only thing I did do was mail letters
to Cooter and I would tell him to use his post cards from around the country
and put my messages on them. That was the best I could do.

“You gave us post cards and may I say that they were all very nice. I don’t
know how you got to California.”

“I am surprised I did too. I thought for sure I would stop and go right
home.” I wish I went to California. I loved it there. I hadn’t been there
since I was 5 years old. I wanted to just go and fun with Luke and everyone.
Just then I remembered Luke.

“You don’t have to lie to me about anything do you understand?”

“Yes I do…Uncle Jesse I do know that I don’t have to lie to you.” Did he
know? How could he? I know Vance wouldn’t tell no matter how angry he was.
Cooter would never tell him nor would Luke. They weren’t like that.

“Bo…no matter what happens I love you and I want to care for you always.”

“Thank you.”

Two weeks later I met with the principal in the school. Same old Mr. Jingles
in the same of chair thinking of the same old things drinking out of the
same old coffee mug, a very dull man I must say.

“And that’s what happened. I know that it has been a long time principal
Jingles. Now I know I wasn’t always the best kid but I want my Uncle to see
me walk the stage,” I tried to explain.

“Bo Duke, you mean to tell me that you went for Vance?” Principal Jingles
asked.

“Yes I did and I fought for my country, my cousin and for myself. I guess I
had to just to find out just exactly who I was and if I belonged.”
“You really want to take the course again?”

“Yes I do. I know it will be like review again but I really want to do it.”

“Your Uncle doesn’t know that you were there?”

“I am not sure. He seems like he knows but at the same time he doesn’t. I
suppose I will never know if he really knows what went on. If I ask him I
might give it away. My Uncle knows us well.”

“Well Bo you’re lucky that we have an opening.”

“Thank you so much. I won’t let you down I promise.” I wouldn’t either. I
wasn’t about to let this guy down. I got back into football again too. The
coach couldn’t believe how much better I could throw since I came back.

Running came a lot easier too. I could run longer than I ever did before.
Sometimes I felt like I could run through the crowds. Being a quarter back
was a lot of responsibility. Passing the ball and knowing who to give it to
and why not to give it to others. You have to think very hard though people
don’t think so. We’re often referred to as dumb jock. I ain’t a dumb jock.

Anyway, here we were doing practice game against the juniors and having fun
doing it. All plays start when the ball is snapped by the “center”–a
special position of an offensive lineman, Shane, who is the closest to the
ball. He will hold the ball down on the ground and will pitch it or hand it
between his legs back to a player behind him. This is called a “snap.”
When the center actually moves the ball is verbally signalled by the
quarterback or whomever will receive the ball at the snap. It’s not too
complicated to most. Though half the people don’t even know how the game is
played.

Anyway the offense, the men that make all the scoring plays, have only four
‘chances’ in terms of plays. Well they need to advance the football either
far enough to score a touchdown or more likely advance the ball far enough
to gain another four chances. Each chance is called a “down” and therefore,
these are called the first, second, third, and fourth downs possible.

Our mission was to achieve going ten yards. The juniors were smarter than we
thought though. Somehow when I threw it was grabbed by one of them. The guys
started running after him. I couldn’t believe how fast this little bugger
was going. He went 10 yards then 20 and finally was tackled. The game ended
and we won of course but that was the biggest play of the day.

Back to school, I did my homework and class and played football after
school. This was in attempt to stop the nightmares. What nightmares you may
ask? Well the ones I seem to have every night. I can see men from the army
being killed. I don’t sleep after they happen. I don’t know if I can deal
with it sometimes.

I get tired sometimes but the dreams are too much. I would see people like
Dubois looking at me like he did before he died. I don’t want to sleep
because I am afraid of what I may find in those dreams. I couldn’t do it
anymore. I had these bags under my eyes and I got about three hours of sleep
a night. Sometimes it was enough but other days I just couldn’t do it.

I worked on the farm too. I never would stop working for Uncle Jesse. In
fact I fixed the fence and painted it too. When Uncle Jesse saw it he was
surprised. I never made that kind of effort before. “You know it is about
time I did something for you. I mean I have been gone for so long,” I would
say. However he thought no different when I was here. Uncle Jesse wanted
everything to be exactly like it was before. It would never be that way
though.

I don’t know what it was about everyone but they seemed to become
happier…except Vance. He was permanently mad at me. I didn’t like that one
bit. It was almost like coming home to nothing. I couldn’t stand what was
going on lately. He ignored me and constantly gave cold stares when he did
pay attention to me. I didn’t want to hurt him. I thought that he would be
pleased at never going into the army. I suppose I would never have him as a
best friend again.

Daisy and I started doing more together. I didn’t mind anymore about her
being a young woman. She wasn’t that bad. Daisy was trying to teach me to
cook again and I had to pretend I knew nothing once more. I hated doing that
but she wasn’t able to teach me before how would she teach me now?

“Bo you are very bad at this stuff,” Daisy laughed. I continued mixing this
and that in even though I knew it would turn out terrible.

“Well you know some people aren’t meant to cook,” I replied.

“You are Bo you really are meant to cook and I know it. It’s just you need
to learn because it is important.”

“I can’t learn Daisy…you have never been able to teach me before how in the
world do you think you will be able to do it now?”

“How in the world did you survive on your own?”

“I had a job…it was a live in deal where other people did all the cooking
for me. Now it wasn’t a bad job or anything.”

“Well what did you do in your job?” I wasn’t expecting that. The only thing
I could think of was the army. I didn’t do much there…just protect people
and shoot guns at the enemy. I had to make up something.

“Well I…protected people from harm.”

“That’s why you got shot?”

“Yes…I jumped in front of someone and took a bullet.”

“Like in the secret service or something…is that what job you were doing?”

“Yeah…something along those lines Daisy. I was working for the government.”
I wasn’t lying to her there. I was working for the government. But she was
still giving me that look. I couldn’t tell her the truth.

“So you don’t want to tell us where you have been for almost three years…I
suppose that is fine.”

“Daisy, if I could tell you I would. I just don’t want you to be horrified
about what has happened. I should never have left but I did anyway. I didn’t
want anyone to feel any pain.”

“Bo…”

“Daisy…how have you been for the past while? I would rather catch up on
you.”

“Well…we have been having a great few years but wished you were in them. I
suppose I shouldn’t say that but it is the truth.”

“Sometimes you have to say those things to keep yourself alive. I understand
Daisy. I should’ve been there.”

“I wish you never left. So much was destroyed when you walked out of those
doors. I have never seen Vance look at you the way he has since you came
back. He was always stomping around the house and everything. I don’t want
to see it anymore. I want you to make up with him.”

“I would Daisy but you see…”

“No! I have heard enough excuses now why don’t you just get off of your duff
and do it?”

“I don’t know if he will listen to me.”

“If he doesn’t listen then it is his loss. At least you’re trying. Do it
before he leaves.”

“Alright Daisy…I know you’re right.”

“I know I am right…I am just glad you finally see that I am.”

“You are a great cousin. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Thanks Bo. Now do what you need to do and quit stalling. Don’t you say
another word to me ya hear?” I knew that I was stalling but I wouldn’t admit
it. I was afraid to face Vance again. There was something about him that
scared me. But I couldn’t let that stick in my mind. I suppose I was being
silly but I couldn’t help it. He was the kind of guy that needed to be
treated delicately. I hadn’t been keeping up to my end of the bargain. I had
treated him like a piece of meat on a stick. It was certainly the wrong idea
and I shouldn’t have taken this so far.

I stood up and walked towards the barn where Vance spent most of his day.
Uncle Jesse was worried about him doing that. I was too as was Coy…Daisy
too. I suppose we were all worried with how he was acting. It wasn’t exactly
his most normal behaviour after all to keep himself from all of society. He
would never leave the barn when I was around.

Vance loved to keep to himself. Not going near a soul. I suppose it had
gotten worse since I had left according to Uncle Jesse’s letters anyway. It
didn’t seem very good. I suppose things couldn’t be changed. I couldn’t
stand how much he had changed.

I turned around and walked back into the house grabbing a bag filled with
the letters that I had written and that everyone else had written as well. I
looked through them and pulled out all of the ones I wrote for Vance. I
walked out of the house and looked at Daisy who was painting her toenails. I
rolled my eyes at the sight but didn’t mind it all that much. I was so used
to being surrounded by men that I forgot how it was like to have a girl in
the house. Oh well, onto the task at hand.

As I walked into the barn I looked at him. Vance’s back was turned to me and
I knew he wouldn’t turn around either. I knew it be hard to do this. I
thought I could at least get him to do something. I turned him though
because I wanted him to face me. I could see the tears running down his
face. Vance punched me in the face. I went down to the ground.

“I guess I deserved that,” I mumbled to myself. I rubbed the spot where I
had been hit. “You feel better now?” Vance shook his head no and continued
to cry. I didn’t know exactly what to make of it. “Are you mad at me?” Vance
shook his head no. This was certainly a tough case. “What were you worried
about me or something?” Now Vance broke down and sobbed. I didn’t know if I
should continue with my original plan or not. I didn’t know if he would
appreciate it.

“You left,” Vance finally said.

“Yeah I did Vance. I left home and I joined the army under your draft
notice.” I pulled out the note and he looked at it. Vance pounded hard on
one of the barrels almost breaking it.

“You shouldn’t have.”

“I still did though and I hurt you because of it.”

“You did.”

“Can you say a sentence that is bigger than three words or less?”

“I can.” I took out a letter that I wrote to Vance when I first got there. I
looked at it and almost cried myself. I read it out loud to him:

Dear Vance,

I am here in your place. I don’t know if I can do it now. I have these long
talks with myself trying to figure out why I am doing this. I don’t want you
to die. I know I have been mean and rude to you. I know that I haven’t
treated you with the respect you deserve. I think that many times over I
hated trying to be just like you. I am not you though. I could never match
up to you. Maybe someday you will understand why I had to do this. Maybe you
won’t ever find out…maybe you won’t see this letter.

I hope you are well. I hope you have the best of luck out on the farm. You
are very skilled when it comes to agriculture. I could see you running your
own farm one day. I know that you would like that too. You would love to
take care of a farm and tell everyone how well you do.

I want to tell you why I am doing this but I don’t know how. I looked at
those forms and I almost died. You didn’t deserve this. I didn’t ever want
our family to go through that again. Something about you being in the army
scared me. At least when I went to join Coy still had his Vance.

I would never want him to loose you like I lost Luke. You need his
companionship just as much as I need Luke’s. I miss him more than anything
and I cry myself to sleep nights when I don’t see him. It’s impossible to
keep those tears up. I suppose that things were not as they should be. I
couldn’t just pretend that I didn’t miss Luke because I did. You know why I
miss him? He’s the only one that understands me just as well or better than
Uncle Jesse. You know that though…I don’t know why I explain things twice I
just do.

Do you want to know what I miss most about home? Each and every one of you
having fun together at the farm, it’s just great to see. I like watching you
do things together. I wish I could be there right now.

I could explain the many horrors of war but it wouldn’t be worth it. I know
ruining your day with tales of blood and horror isn’t the way to go. I know
that it would be a humbling experience but I couldn’t push that on you.

Just know that I miss you very much. If I should die don’t think that I
didn’t accomplish anything. I did my best in this family and I am sorry if I
caused you pain. I hope you understand. Please don’t think I had to do this.
I did it because I wanted to.

You stay safe and know I care.

Love always,

Bo Duke.

Vance looked at me with those big blue eyes of his. He was in tears and I
couldn’t help but hold him in my arms. “I was afraid that you…that you died.
I wanted you to be alive at every moment. I wished it was me there. I wished
that you were back here and I was there,” Vance cried out.

“You couldn’t have known…you couldn’t have done anything. I did it because I
didn’t…” I began to say.

“No, you shouldn’t have had to have me be like that. I was scared.”

“You are too kind but I am here now. Don’t think that you can lean on me.
Don’t think that you can’t because I am younger. For a time I was just as
old as you were.”

Thanks Bo…I am sorry I slugged you.”

“No problem, I needed something to match with my suit jacket anyway.”

“Where are you going?”

“There’s a hayride tonight, student council is putting it on. I figure I got
to learn how to be childish again…it will take a while for me.”

“Just to let you know I never did tell Uncle Jesse. I didn’t think that
would be fair to you. Though your death would be hard to explain…I am sorry.
I suppose things just ain’t happening like I want them to. I shouldn’t be
leaving. I wish I didn’t have to but I signed up for that flight and all. I
am going to miss you more than life. You do know that don’t you? Here you
were for so long and I wouldn’t even talk to you.”

“Don’t feel bad about it.”

“I will always feel bad about it Bo…I don’t care how much anyone tells me
otherwise…it was stupid.”

“Vance…”

“No Bo…you will understand one of these days and when you do will know why I
feel so awful about this.”

I already did though. I knew how he was feeling but I didn’t think to say
anything about it. How could I tell him in words he would understand? I
couldn’t burden him with it either. I couldn’t let him think that it was his
entire fault.

Anyway, I let him go when the plane without a grudge. It took off and I
didn’t sob about it unlike I did with Luke. I learned something though that
day. He really was his own personality. Vance was his own person. He had
everything in his life ahead of him. I would miss him and so would Coy. I
had to help this cousin out until he could get out there to but how?

Coy and I were never apart now. Everywhere I went was with Coy. He would
walk me to school when I missed the bus. He would do everything. We had
gotten so close that it was unbelievable. Everyone would call him Luke by
accident. I thought it was funny but Coy didn’t like it one bit. He was
happy being himself and not someone else. I could understand. I don’t want
to be anyone else either.

How could a town be so dull to me? There hadn’t been any action in weeks.
However there was a change in the law enforcement. Sheriff Coltrane has
hired a deputy. Enos Strate. I think it’s wonderful considering the Strate’s
family have been friends of our clan since Uncle Jesse was a kid. Magnus
Strate is an amazing man. I personally think that Enos learned a lot by his
grace. Now that he was gone Enos took care of his sick mama. One way of
doing it was working this job.

Now as we were walking from that fishing hole once again, things were about
to get interesting. Cooter Davenport had taken Boss Hogg’s car again. That
Cooter will never learn. I wondered why he did it this time. I wouldn’t be
able to later until Rosco caught him. “Now that’s a sight,” Coy commented.

“Davenports have a fuse…a short fuse,” I replied.

“Well he took it to the extreme this time.”

“Maybe Boss didn’t pay his bill again.”

“Or maybe Rosco rubbed off on him.”

Rosco is a good man. He always seems to do great things for this County.
Well that is until yesterday. Boss told him that he wouldn’t get his
retirement package or something. He’s been stomping around ever since then.
I don’t know if that would make him feel awful. I would feel bad after
working for so long and then to receive nothing for it. I didn’t know what
was going to happen to that old man.

Miss Tizdale was her usual self just having fun and kicking back. She
delivered her mail on time. Uncle Jesse was still the person she sought most
after. I could see her there everyday doing something for him. Uncle Jesse
didn’t like it all that much but he was still around.

Besides that, all was normal. There wasn’t anything I would rather do than
spend time with my family and that’s exactly what I was going to do. Coy and
I were good now. I still beat up people that bothered him but it wasn’t half
as much as it used to. He’s one of those…awesome guys. I really like him and
always will admire the guy. Even if he can’t stand up for himself he’s got
other qualities. However, I knew Luke would teach him how to box. I wasn’t
about to tell him that though. After all, I am Bo Duke and I am the best at
keeping secrets.
Three weeks later…

Uncle Jesse was going off to help another sick friend. How many times did he
have to do that? I didn’t want to be without him. I suppose I got a little
bit clingy when I came back from the war. I didn’t want him to leave ever.
There was something about it that wasn’t fair. I felt like a child again.

“Now I will be only a phone call away. Anne Baker is pregnant and her
husband is out of town. I told Kyle Baker that I would take care of Anne.
Now if she goes into labour I am sure Daisy can handle it. So don’t worry
Coy, Bo all will be fine,” Uncle Jesse commented. I could deliver that kid
if I had to. I didn’t really want to though. Memories flowed back of Cookie
and her child. I wondered how they were doing. I missed everyone back there.

“I will make sure Coy and Bo don’t get into big trouble Uncle Jesse,” Daisy
teased.

“Trouble, we ain’t trouble are we Bo?” Coy questioned slyly. I couldn’t
believe it. He was turning into me. I didn’t want him to be me but it was
cute.

“Not at all,” I replied. I picked up Daisy and took her into the house. She
was yelling at me just begging me to put her down but I didn’t care to. I
took her over to the sink and turned it on.

“Bo no, no you couldn’t…you wouldn’t!” She screamed. Of course I would. I
missed doing stuff like this. I put her head under the sink. Daisy laughed
and smacked me all at the same time. She was a good kid. Uncle Jesse walked
into the house and rolled his eyes. I know that I was acting young but why
not?

“I don’t think I should leave,” Uncle Jesse laughed.

“Oh they’re fine,” Daisy answered.

“You boys respect her or I will take you over my knee and you know I can.
Now I am out of here.”

“I hope your friend gets better.”

“So do I Daisy girl. I am sure he will be okay.”

“We will see you.” Well that was it. He went into his truck and was gone
once again. I couldn’t believe this, I missed him already. Parting from him
is like leaving a good friend of mine. I didn’t want to leave anyone
anymore. I didn’t want to live life like it was a slack period at school. I
didn’t want to waste my life. It was a dream of mine to be great now it is a
dream on mine to be me.

Well the days went on and everything seemed to go okay…well that is until
Mary-Jo got sick. Dang, everyone had to get sick didn’t they? Well anyways,
Daisy had to go help out at the boarding house for a while as Mary-Jo needed
to get better. I couldn’t blame her for that at all. I just wished that
Daisy would stay.

It was a stormy night as any spooky one could be. The sky was dark and
clouded right over. The lightning lit up the sky. I could hear the thunder
echo from a far. Somehow it made me feel at ease. I was used to loud noises
and all that. It was almost like being back in the crowd of soldiers. Though
I could tell the difference between bombs and blasts of thunder however I
liked it all the same.

We were watching one of those TV movies and I was enjoying it. It was a
western. The best movies on TV right now were westerns. The rest were like
war films and those mushy kinds that a guy would rather avoid than watch.
Well that’s the way it was though. I would watch them if a girl asked me. I
would watch them and wonder how in the world the hot guy always seems to get
the perfect girl and live happily ever after. Does it really work that way?
Well gosh I don’t think so but it could. It always seems to be the same way
though. Everyone fights and then makes up. What if they don’t make up? What
if everything is wrong?

I mean Vance and I almost never talked again. I don’t know how our family
would have took it if we were both silent to each other forever. Now we talk
on the phone all the time. I wish I could do that with Luke. I don’t even
know where he really is right now. He wrote a letter two weeks ago talking
about how glad he was that I was alive and well. I guess if Vance recognized
that Luke knew about me in Vietnam he might not have been so scared.

“This is the good part Bo I can feel it,” Coy said. He turned up the sound
and inched closer to the television.

“You are going to wreck your eyes you know,” I laughed.

“Maybe so but that guy has got a big gun; he’s going to shoot the hero in
the back.”

“How could you know that? I thought you said you haven’t seen them before.”

“I haven’t seen it.”

“Then how could you know that this is going to happen?”

“It’s a guess.” Right at that very moment the man did shoot the hero in the
back. However he didn’t die. Why? Well he was wearing a metal plate of
course. Man I wish I could have thought of that while I was getting shot at.
Suddenly the power went out.

“I guess we better go and check the fuse box.”

“Sure, but maybe a power line went down.”

“That’s possible too.” As we walked outside I could have sworn that I saw an
image of someone walking. I thought it was just me though. I shone the
flashlight on the box and played around with the fuses. We stuck in new ones
where the lights and TV were on. Nothing seemed to work so of course Coy was
right about two things. That’s surprising for him.

I saw the image move again. “Did you see that Bo?”

“I thought I was going crazy.” The image seemed to sway as it walked closer
and closer. Coy held on tight to my sleeve. I didn’t know what to think. It
could be anything. It could be nothing. As the dark image fell I ran towards
it, flashing my light on it. That it was a she, Anne. She was breathing
heavily.

“Oh…I crashed my car into your back fence…I am sorry. I didn’t know what to
do when the pain started,” Anne exclaimed. She was in heavy labour and you
could totally tell. I didn’t know what to do with her. Okay first things
first. I picked her up and brought her into the house. I didn’t want to do
this in the dark.

“Coy, do we still have those antique lanterns?” I asked.

“I think we do Bo…Uncle Jesse still has some sort of oil for it too,” Coy
replied.

“Get them fast.” Coy ran out of the room and went for the lanterns. My
second delivery wow how lucky am I? If you can’t tell I was being sarcastic.
I suppose that I should be happy but I am not. I have helped someone give
birth but this time I have no power. I don’t even have a stove. I don’t
think I can do it. Coy looks like he’s going to faint and I am sure he is. I
can see it in his forehead. He’s sweating up a storm. I can’t believe it.
This coming from a man who has been in war and has seen almost every weird
sight around; I didn’t think he was scared.

I looked at the young woman and almost held my breath. She was sore and
almost out of breath. Anne wasn’t at all like Cookie. Cookie had this
strength about her that I couldn’t quite explain. She was just a whole lot
better at this.

Okay, now I had to think back to those medical books that I was reading. I
remember a couple things. One a woman is close to delivery when her water
has broken. Two, labour alone could last longer than three days. Now when
you remember stuff like that you get nervous. I wasn’t about to show it
though.

Just because this was my second delivery didn’t mean I had to go crazy.
Besides that Coy was doing a good enough job at being Looney for two people.
I didn’t think I had to add to the pot. Well anyway, Coy reminded me that
the phone lines were down…not just once like a million times.

The labour was all night. I couldn’t ease her pain or anything. Anne’s water
hadn’t broken yet. I didn’t know really what to do. I didn’t want to send
Coy anywhere because well…I would need assistance. When the power came back
online I was very happy. At least we had one thing on our side. I suppose
this would be big. Some things couldn’t be stopped. You know now that I
think of it we could use CB’s to communicate. But then again with Coy on the
CB life would be a little too hard. With the way he was running around I
figured it wouldn’t be a good idea.

“Bo I can’t do this. You know what I ain’t ever delivered a baby before!”
Coy screamed.

“Calm down Coy,” I laughed.

“Calm down! I wouldn’t be able to do that even if you gave me a relaxant.”

“I am delivering the baby, okay? Don’t worry about anything.”

“I am older than you I should be delivering the baby.” Okay that made
sense…I think. He wanted to deliver the baby that was fine with me.

“Okay, go ahead.”

“No!”

“No what? What’s wrong now?”

“I will kill it!”

“Why did you offer if you think you can’t do it?”

“How would I know? You’re the smart one, remember? I don’t know what I am
doing here. I am scared. Bo…I can’t handle this!”

“You can and you will. Come off of it Coy, take it like a man.”

“A man, you want me to take it like a man? I ain’t a man I am a mouse.”

“Why don’t you do yourself a favour and go rip up sheets.”

“I can handle that.” That’s about the time Coy walked out of the room. I was
relieved he left. Anne was scared enough without this man standing over her
squeaking nonsense. In all honesty I think I would have shot Coy if he
hadn’t have left.

I couldn’t believe this. Not only was I delivering a baby but I had to do it
with a madman. There was something about child birth that seemed to scare
both men and women alike. With men it came out in extreme anxiousness that
was funny but annoying at the same time. Oh well, what could you really do?

Anyway, the time was coming near when she was to be delivered. I got out
extra pillows and put them behind her back. She looked more comfortable than
I do when I sleep. She was pushing pretty hard during contractions and
panted. Boy oh boy did I have my work cut out for me. Not as much work as
the little mother had. This was her first baby after all.

I washed my hands with alcohol and prepared the mother. “Okay ma’am, I need
you to put your knees to your chest and spread them. I am sure the baby is
coming soon,” I said as I let out a big grin. Always keep the mother calm. I
was doing my best there. I didn’t want to scare her.

“Is my baby going to be okay?” Anne asked.

“Why do you ask?”

“Have you ever delivered a child before?”

“Yes I have.”

“Okay…I was wondering if you have. I know Daisy has before. Your Uncle Jesse
taught her how to do it but…not…you.”

“Alright you are almost there Anne.” Coy walked in and boy was I glad to see
him…for once. “Coy please do me favour?”

“Oh no, I don’t want anything to do with this,” Coy replied. For goodness
sakes! I am about to do something to him. I then remembered my army training
and how people were scared of certain things when they were new to it. I
knew that this was the case with Coy. I suppose that would have to be cured.

“You are not chickening out on this!”

“I ain’t chickening out; I am running a way in a hysterical fashion.”

“How are you ever going to be a father?”

“Easy I won’t be…I will stay single.” Anne let out a loud shriek as the pain
over powered her. As soon as she did so, Coy did the same thing. “I can’t do
this! I can’t! I…” Coy finally fainted. That sure was interesting. I was
used to girls fainting. I usually laughed at guys that fainted. But now
things have changed. All I could do was shrug and put poor old Coy into a
bed. That was fine…accept, man alive, Coy had gained weight. I could barely
lift him. For being on the football team I was pretty darn weak.

“You are fat you know that?”

Hours later…

A baby girl was born. She was beautiful. I couldn’t believe that I had
delivered a second child. Coy was okay. He just had a big bruise on his head
from hitting the floor. I couldn’t believe that I had managed to do this.
She was so tiny. “There’s only one question left,” Anne commented.

“What would that be?” I asked.

“The name of the child…you did such a good job that I think you should pick
it.”

“Why would you want me to Anne Baker?”

“Well you delivered the child.”

“I wouldn’t know what to name it.”

“What’s your mother’s name?”

“Marie-Lynn…”

“Well we’ll just use Marie. That’s a beautiful name for a child. What was
your mom like anyway?” I had to smile and cry. Remember when I said my
mother’s death didn’t bother me too much? Well it did when people mentioned
it like this. I didn’t know what to say to people about her.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you too much. It is hard for my Uncle to talk
about. Luke knew her better than I did.”

“I am sorry…I haven’t hurt you have I?”

“No…I don’t know her enough to say anything. All I knew was that she
somewhat looked like me.”

“Bo…”

“It’s nothing. Anyway I should check on Coy. Will you be alright here?”

“I sure will but you make sure you wipe away your tears.”

“I will.”

The next day…

Daisy came home and couldn’t believe I did that. I had delivered a kid. “You
have to be another person. I never thought in my cousin Bo would do it,”
Daisy mumbled.

“Well somebody had to do it and it wasn’t the fainting wonder over there,” I
replied.

“You have done good Bo. The baby looks healthy.”

“I think so too.” I received a letter. It was written real neatly by whom
else but Cookie. I couldn’t believe this. I opened it really slow and looked
inside. The paper was evenly folded and it had a wonderful scent to it. It
read:

Dear Bo,

I am sorry it took me so long to write you. After you left I found out that
my husband had died. Many of the men tried to comfort me but their
sympathies were like rocks hitting me over and over again. I wanted you but
you weren’t here. I missed you and didn’t know what to do. I suppose that
things happen for a reason like you always say to me. I don’t know what to
do anymore. I am continuing this small hospital. People are paying me with
what little they have.

As soon as all the war stuff clears up, I will probably go to school and
earn what I have lost. I know that this will be a challenge saving up to go
to the States again but I am very sure I can do it. I just hope I can do
it.

Bo, I don’t know what to do anymore. I need someone I honestly do. No one in
the world could ever make up for how you have been. Though you’re still a
young man I still love you. You were the one who delivered my child. You
were always at my side and I will love you forever because of that.

I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to live but I need to. For my baby and
for myself; I have to do it for you too. I know that I am not giving myself
enough time to adjust. Being a widow is hard though. My son will never know
how wonderful his father truly was. I don’t know if he will ever understand.

Please Bo; I don’t want you to write back. It would be too painful. Just
think of me and please don’t forget what you have done in this world. You
were such an important person in my life.

Love,

Cookie

I hoped that she would be okay. Cookie is a very special person and I
wouldn’t want her to be that hurt. Something about friendship brought out
the best in me. I felt like was a person and that I could achieve anything.
Sometimes things would be hard but I know I always have your memories
Cookie. They will always keep me going.

A baby…a letter, what a day! I wasn’t about to ever giving up on myself
again. There was nothing worse than a young man who gave up on the world
just with one problem. I know there is more than that one problem.

Coy came out of the house, he was holding the ice pack I gave him on his
head tightly. He looked really sore. Sometimes you would think that Coy was
still a baby but I was round. I didn’t know what to think anymore but I
liked him now. I looked at my cousin and smiled. There was something about
him that surprised me. He wasn’t that little sissy I left behind…well except
for when he fainted. He looked like a young man now.

I wished that I could have seen him grow up. I missed it. I missed it
because I had to take my show on the road. Vance is alive though and I
should be happy about that. However I am not. I am not happy that I don’t
have him around. We wasted all that time fighting and for what? He was gone
and I was stuck here. I was better off re-enlisting.

“Hi Bo, how does it feel to have delivered a baby?” Coy asked.

“It feels like I have done something good for this community,” I replied.
Yeah, since leaving, Uncle Jesse almost had a nervous break down wondering
where I was. Coy thought it was his fault. Sure, the least I could do was
deliver a kid.

“You know that you are a special person to us?”

“No I am not. I left y’all in the dust and I shouldn’t have. I left everyone
to tend for the farm.”

“Bo you did what you thought was right.” I joined the army and almost got
killed. Now was that what was right? I don’t think so. I suppose I was being
too hard on myself. I thought I was trying not to give up hope here. Well
maybe I hadn’t forgiven myself for what I had done. It was a harsh reality.
I shouldn’t be blaming myself for this. At the same time I couldn’t help but
do it.

“It wasn’t doing the right thing. I shouldn’t have left without telling
y’all where I was going and now I can never tell you. I will never be able
to tell you about my experiences that I have had.”

“Sure you can…you can tell me about anything.”

“No, I already started a few fights with what I did. I am not starting
anymore of them. We are just starting to get along now. I don’t want to ruin
that for any reason at all. I know that you think you would understand but
you wouldn’t.”

“Bo, all I can say is that I will be there for you always.”

“I know you will Coy, I know.” With a great embrace we ended a good
conversation. It wasn’t like these talks would ever end…they were all just
beginning.

 

by: Essy Jane

Luke was looking into my eyes as he always would when he knew something was
wrong. I couldn’t quite see his eyes. There was blood pouring into them. I
went to reach for him…to help him. Each time I put my arm out he seemed to
go further and further away. My heart skipped a beat in fear. I couldn’t get
him. Luke got into the jeep and began to drive away. I tried warn him that
he was wounded but it wasn’t working. My tongue seemed to be tied as I
reached for him once more. It was coming…slow at first and soon faster…even
faster still. The bomb had almost reached him. I look at him and prayed that
he would see it. Luke had to have seen the bomb. I could see the bomb hit
him as he cried out for me. That wasn’t the best sight in the world I can
tell you that much.

I wish that he wasn’t in this war. I wish that I would have though about
this earlier so he wouldn’t have to go. He would have reported me though and
got in so I suppose it didn’t matter. Now I woke up. The sweet sweat rolled
down my silken skin. It was a dream…only a dream. My thoughts had got the
best of me again. How could I always let this happen?

That dream really startled me though. I don’t like thinking about anyone
blowing up let alone my own cousin. There’s something about that kind of
experience that can send chills up someone’s spine. I wanted my cousin
though more than anything. It was a comfort thing. I wanted to say hello to
him but couldn’t. Nothing was really going right for me today. At least
something woke me up this morning I suppose.

I couldn’t exactly tell where I was or anything. Maybe a hut or possibly I
had been captured by the enemy. I wouldn’t be able to tell just by being in
here. I looked at my arms and noticed the tubes in them. Was I at a
hospital? It didn’t look like a hospital to me.

I looked around. There was a mirror at my bedside. I looked in it and saw my
spiked hair. Oh…I forgot to mention that. I spiked my hair in hope that I
could live with being under another name. They were long spikes though since
I didn’t want to cut it. I hated having to be known as Vance for so long. I
suppose it was kind of a cover-up…you know to keep me believing I could pull
it off. There was something about all this pretending that drove me batty.

As I sat up more, the pain in my chest hit me like a million knives being
shot at me at once. I remember stabbing myself with one so I do know. It was
an accident of course. Anyway I just had to lie back down. My chest burned
and my heart was pounding. Now as I didn’t know where I was I couldn’t help
but feel nervous. It was overbearing…almost heartbreaking.

A Vietnamese woman stood over me. She was very beautiful. Her hair was tied
back with two long strips hanging down in the front. Her smile was perfect.
She couldn’t believe that I was awake…at least that’s what her eyes told me.
I didn’t know if I should be afraid of the woman or like her. However she
didn’t look harmful. Nevertheless I would be cautious. I didn’t know what
he motive was and wasn’t willing to find out. The young woman was
pregnant….five to seven months pregnant just by looking at her.

Now she was holding a sharp object. I didn’t know what it was filled with
and I felt too sore to really care. It was a needle…the most dreaded thing I
have ever seen. I hate needles. No matter how many I have gotten I will
always hate them. She turned me over and stuck a needle into my butt. I kind
of jerked upwards for a second there…almost like I had been violated.

I hated that feeling more than anything. I didn’t know where I was and I
didn’t know if I would ever get out of here. If this was a hospital it was
weird having it run by a pregnant woman. If it wasn’t a hospital…then why
would she have needles? I didn’t know but I wanted to get out of here. I
wondered if they rigged her. Like put pillows under her so I would connect
with her. That would be pretty low. I suppose my imagination was running
wild with me but I couldn’t help it. There was something about this place
that freaked me out and I wouldn’t rest until I found out what it was.

I thought about Uncle Jesse as I was looking at her. He always told me to be
prepared and then the army told me to be prepared. Maybe I should touch her
stomach to see if it is real. Then again wouldn’t she get mad? Well if she
was a communist she would beat me up. I didn’t know what to think. She
would’ve hurt me by now…or maybe I would be guarded. I went for it and
touched her stomach. It was real alright. I didn’t think it was just because
I was told not to trust anyone. She giggled when I touched her stomach but
at the same time she pulled away.

“Sleep now Vance. I just gave you a needle for your pneumonia. You should be
okay,” She commented. She was a spy. No one could speak that well in another
language. Most of the locals I met could speak it a little but not enough
and certainly not like her. She was a communist and I was scared for my
life. No, I was wrong about the stomach and I could be wrong about this.

“I have a question for you ma’am, how in the world do you know English so
well? I have been over here for two years and I know nothing about your
language,” I commented. She pulled out another large quilt and covered me
with it.

“My husband and I went to the states to learn medicine. I became a nurse and
he a doctor. I wanted to be a doctor too but…well I didn’t have enough time.
He stayed at a doctor for a few months and taught me how to do the surgeries
and things before he left to war. I know all the same techniques and
everything. He says I am just as good as anyone.”

“You know my name but I don’t know yours.”

“Well my name is hard to say. I don’t know if you can pronounce it
properly.”

“Well then what would I call you?”

“Well you would call me many names. My best friend named me Harriet but I
didn’t like it. I didn’t want to be called something like that. I don’t know
why I didn’t like it. After all the names I have been called there’s only
one I like. So if you will please call me Cookie.”

“That’s cute but I personally don’t understand it. Why would you take the
name Cookie?”

“Cookie is what my husband called me. I once went over to a girl’s place.
Her name was Maria. She took out her recipe book and told me that I was to
learn the art of making chocolate chip cookies. She said I made them very
well considering I had never done it before. Maria called me a Smart Cookie.
I have been known as Cookie ever since. Not elegant but it is a good strong
name.”

“Oh that it is my dear. I think that you picked it well. ”Cookie seemed well
educated though never trained in medicine. I wish she had been. A woman like
her had to be smart. I looked at all the American textbooks in her bookcase
that was hand crafted. Most of them looked new. Maybe they had been stolen
or maybe she ordered them. I couldn’t judge her for I truly didn’t know her.

“You must miss your family a lot too Vance.”

“I do I miss them more than life.”

“My husband writes me all about the medical cases he has. He tells me about
new procedures they learned to treat wounds. I understand it very well too.
I wish he was here to see the birth of our child.” I missed my family more
than life just like she must be right now.

I could remember walking around in bare feet with Daisy on the cold dew
grass in the early morning. Uncle Jesse sitting up at the table with his
elbows propped up while he reads the morning paper. Everything is special
during the day with him. That’s when it hit me about the missing in action
report. Oh no, if they found out I was here…no way. Uncle Jesse would cringe
at the thought of Vance supposed to be there. Coy would fall to his knees
and just pray.

“I have got to go!” I exclaimed. Cookie laughed at me and I didn’t
understand why. Why in the world couldn’t I get up? I had to get up and get
out of here before he got a telegram like that. Daisy would be confused at
it seeing how Vance was in the house. What would happen if they investigated
it? They will find Vance has been serving for two years now. They will
either make Vance out to be a liar or find out about me. Nevertheless there
will be some big trouble.

“Are you okay?” Cookie asked. Okay? I am worse than okay. My family is going
to be scared to death because of this and I am laying here in pain. I am not
even close to okay. In fact I am in the worst panic of my life. I shuttered
inside. I felt horrible about the lies that I had let me drive through this
whole experience. I couldn’t explain that to Cookie or anyone else for that
matter.

“How bad was I when you found me?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“You got three bullets in your abdominal wall. Someone was kicking you down
and stepping on you with full force. Blood was coming from your mouth. You
bit your cheek hard.”

“That’s horrible.”

“You have broken ribs because of it.”

“Makes sense with them kicking me all those times.”

“You also were lucky. Where the bullets landed you lost a lot of blood. I
couldn’t believe you were still alive. I went back to go and get others that
had been affected in your war.”

“Were Americans still alive out there?” Cookie lowered her head. She pulled
the blankets up closer to my neck. She was hiding something from me. I
couldn’t tell what but there was something.
“I have to get back to work Vance.” As she started to walk away I grabbed
her by the arm. She looked at me with her deep brown eyes. I could see
through her just like Uncle Jesse could see right down into my soul. I
couldn’t get away with anything.

“Cookie please, I know something is wrong. Just tell me honey.”

“Most were dead. I found a few but they’re dying or barely alive. Most are
in comas. You were the only one I could save. I am so sorry Vance. I know
though that some of your men did get away.” That didn’t give me all that
much confidence. I had been ruined in many ways that I wasn’t proud of.

I couldn’t stand this at all. Those men just killed off many innocent lives.
If it wasn’t for that dumb boy no one would be in this condition. Dang it I
wish I would have left them behind. I had a feeling something was going to
happen and it did.

I hated this place with a passion. I can’t stand lying in this bed just
thinking about what my family might be going through. I can’t stand to think
about who got to that telegram first. I just hope it wasn’t Uncle Jesse. If
it was Vance maybe he had the sense to go do something about it. Maybe he
might talk to someone before Uncle Jesse.

Cookie is wonderful. I am not ever going to say she isn’t. I like her eyes.
They are full of hopes and dreams. She wants so much in her life and isn’t
afraid to show that. Yet she is meek and gentle but at the same time this
young woman can be hot tempered. At the same time she is wonderful. I can’t
seem to take my eyes off of her. But I was too young for her or anyone else
in this war. Besides that she’s married. I wouldn’t ever go after a married
woman.

After a few weeks I was allowed out of bed. However there were times when
some of the men in the other huts would try to attack me. I had to figure
out a way to make peace with them but I didn’t really know what to do.
Cookie said there was nothing I could do to possibly make them be nice to
me. They thought I was there to kill them. In reality I just wanted to get
better and maybe go home.

There were only two men out of the whole place that knew good English. Their
names are Trang and Xuan. I wanted talk to both of them…maybe see if I could
actually find some common bond between me and the others. Cookie tried to
make it happen many times. Trang was the one person who was stubborn and
wouldn’t do that for anyone. However Xuan wanted to help me…though why I
don’t know.

“Now Xuan, he is not like other Americans I am telling you he is a good guy.
I don’t know why you’re so afraid of him,” I could hear Cookie say through
the hut door.

“I will not fear him once he gives me a reason not to. His kind of people
are here for one reason. They want to show our people whose boss and then
leave to find more to kill. I am not about to let that happen,” Xuan
commented. He walked inside the hut. I looked into his very judgmental eyes
and wondered if they would change.

“Hi my name is Bo,” I said.

“I thought your name was Vance.” Oops, I didn’t mean to say my real name.
Well I guess the cat was out of the bag here.

“Well…let me tell you a story.”

“You better not be trying to con me.”

“I am not trying to con anyone. Now I want to ask you about your family
before I get started. How many brothers and sisters do you have?”

“I have nine brothers and six sisters back at home. I miss them very
much…thanks for making me think about how horrible it is not to have them
around. You’re not off on the right foot American.”

“I am sorry what my people are doing.”

“Well you can leave…go back to your America and live nice long lives in your
homes. You don’t ever have to clean up this mess and start all over again.
My family’s house was destroyed. We were lucky my family was still alive.”

“I am sorry; I will never know how that feels ever.”

“Well how many do you have in your family?”

“Not as many as you. But you see, a long time ago my mother died giving
birth to me.”

“That’s horrible. I am sorry to hear that.”

“That’s not half of it. The next year, my father went on a trip and he was
also killed along with my cousin’s Mom. I guessed I felt guilty for a long
time when I was told.”

“Who in the world do you live with?”

“I live with my Uncle Jesse and my four cousins Vance, Coy, Luke and Daisy.”

“That makes sense. Did something similar happen to them as what happened to
you?”

“Well Luke, the one that lost his mom, his dad left being heart broken over
the loss of his wife. Coy and Vance were sent here because of fights that
was leaving Coy scared. Vance came along to keep him company. Daisy’s
parents figured it wasn’t fair with how much they traveled around when her
father joined the army.”

“I bet that makes your family very close.”
“Oh it does. Everyday I think about how much I miss them.”

“That still doesn’t tell me why your name is Bo instead of Vance.”

“My cousin was assigned to go to the army. I didn’t want him there at all.
So I joined instead. I didn’t give it much thought…just packed my bags and
finished school.”

“Why in the world would you want to join the army? You see how much
destruction is out there.”

“I know but if I didn’t my cousin would have to go through this. You see he
is smart but not as strong in a lot of things. I have seen a lot of people
go through the war and never sleep after it. I didn’t want my cousin to go
into that.”

“Have you ever thought about the fact that you could die? I would have let
him go out there. That wasn’t wise Bo. I mean in all honesty you could be
dead right now. You were lucky Cookie came around to help you.”

“I was very lucky she did. Cookie is a very wonderful person.”

“That she is. One night before you came I told her how much I missed
dancing. She found some sort of French tune and taught me how to dance like
they do in France. I couldn’t believe how Cookie took the time out of her
day to help us out.”

“I am glad she does too.”

“I will never forget this young woman.”

“You know what? I think I am going to do something for her. I think I am
going to fix her roof. Have you noticed that it leaks in her hut?”

“Yes but she won’t let anyone fix it.”

“Why is that anyway?”

“Well Cookie is positive that after her baby is born she’ll fix it. I don’t
know of any other women that could possibly be that stubborn.” I had to
laugh. That woman could be Daisy. She had this attitude that could never be
held down. Anything that struck her as unfair was dealt with right then and
there. I guess that’s why I admired her so much. Daisy was older than me
along with the rest of them. It felt so cheap to be the youngest in the
family. I was always going to be the infant. I was just someone who was
pushed back because I was just too dang young.

“You haven’t met many stubborn women have you?”

“No I have not. Most women are quiet and nice to their husbands. They don’t
say much to people.”

“Well that’s not my kind of woman. In our Country, women speak their minds
freely. It helps with our society.” We both had different societies but one
thing was for sure, we were friends. Xuan told everyone about me. How I
wasn’t all that different from them. I guess sometimes we are fearful about
what we are most afraid of.

The weeks rolled by for some but seemed like years to me. I wasn’t even
strong enough to really stand. However I would stand anyway. I learned how
to do things that I would have never thought possible. For instance, who
could teach me to cook before…well no one could teach me how to cook. I
could now make any food possible. Cookie taught me. However I wouldn’t be
able to show any of this off. I hated that. I would have to keep my stories
to myself. Well Luke could hear about them and Cooter but that was about it.
I just could never show that I knew how to cook. It kind of made me mad.

Well one thing was for sure, I got worried all the time. I wasn’t worried
for my life or anything like that. I was worried about my family. I was
playing the reactions over and over again in my head starting with Uncle
Jesse. I could just see Uncle Jesse receiving the telegram. He would look at
it surprised. Uncle Jesse would look at Vance and probably stare back at the
letter and figure it out. Then again so would Vance. I think that Daisy
might keep it to herself…maybe thinking that they made a mistake on the
name. Or then again she might think it was Luke that was dead.

“Bo?” Cookie questioned me as she saw me sitting all alone.

“I am okay,” I replied. I wasn’t okay! How could I ever be okay ever again?
I was here and they were there. I could just see them getting all worried
about me. I wanted to tell them the truth or maybe just phone home. How can
I phone home? I am in the middle of nowhere. I can even talk them out of
sending that dang telegram.

“I think you need to do something to keep your mind off of your family. I
know you’re not okay Bo Duke. I know you a little bit too well. You need to
go up on my roof and fix it.” I was shocked. She wanted to do everything
herself.

“You won’t let anyone else do it.”

“That is because no one else needs it more. You like fixing things.”

“Thank you Cookie.”

“You are more than welcome.”

“You know what? I think that you remind me of my cousin.”

“Is your cousin Vietnamese?”

“No, she just has the same attitude as you.”

“You are a cute kid Bo.” I worked on the roof as much as I could. I patched
up every hole. Everyone there was surprised to see me on the roof. I was in
so much pain when I was fixing it but I didn’t let it bother me none. I was
a Duke and I was supposed to be strong. I knew that Luke would tell me that
anyway. I tried to live up to that to the best of my abilities.

A few months later…

As Cookie woke up I was cooking her breakfast. Something I did everyday. I
didn’t get much sleep at night and ended up waking up early anyway. So I
would cook her breakfast. Cookie smiled and sat up. She winced in pain. I
wondered what was going on. “Was it the same pain as yesterday?” I asked
her. Cookie nodded.

“I am in labor. Bo, there is no time to wake the other nurses. We have to do
this now. Take the food off the stove.”

“Shouldn’t I boil some water or something?”

“We have no time for that. We have to do this right. Bo, go wash your hands
with the whiskey I keep behind the bookshelf. Wash your hands and get ready
for births. The contractions are getting to be too close together. We do
need warm water but someone else needs to do it.” I screamed for Trang when
I told him what was going on of course he started to help me with the
boiling of the water.

I knew how to deliver babies…well sort of. I wanted to do this right. Uncle
Jesse had given me many tools in life. One of them was boiling the water and
ripping up rags. No, I couldn’t do this but I couldn’t let Cookie down.
Besides, the baby was coming whether I wanted to do it or not. I wasn’t
expecting her to deliver her own kid. She was breathing heavy. Now I had to
remember what to do. “Cookie, I am going to put a folded blanket under your
hips to keep you comfortable.”

“Have you done this before or something?” Trang asked.

“No, but I have helped.”

“Oh boy, this is going to be rough.” She clenched onto the blankets of her
cot and I wondered if she was going to make it…if I was going to make it. I
put a blanket over her trying to keep her warm. Uncle Jesse would be so much
better at this but of course he was in the states and I don’t have a phone.

Cookie smiled at me as the sweat rolled down her face. I took the cool water
and dabbed it all over her face and hoped it would help. “Do you need some
tea?”

“Please I would love some,” she replied. I grabbed Cookie the kettle and
poured the tea into the clay cup. I mixed in the leaves as best as I could.
As I passed her the cup she drank it down.

“How long will this last?” Trang asked. I didn’t know what to tell him.

“Well…it can last fifteen minutes to six hours,” I replied.

“You have a long day ahead of you child. Are you sure you know what you’re
doing?”

“I am pretty sure I can remember. My Uncle helped my mother give birth to
me. She died though…it wasn’t his fault. She had cancer inside her cervix
and it caused her to bleed out.”

“I am sorry to hear that.”

“Bo!” Cookie screamed. I came running to her side. She was okay…just the
pain had gotten large. I wish I could take it all away from her. This person
was one that didn’t need pain.

“Okay, I think we’re ready here,” I mumbled. She pushed hard. Cookie was
doing wonderfully and I was surprised that she didn’t kill over. How in the
world do women have babies’ everyday? I couldn’t do it that’s for sure. I
saw the head and guided it out as best as I could. The back came next
followed by the toes. The baby wasn’t breathing. I held it upside down and
smacked its back. The baby cried and cried. At least it was breathing
though. There was a big mess but I wasn’t about to explain that.

I saw the umbilical cord and remembered that Uncle Jesse used string to help
tie it off. Now to remember how he did it. I couldn’t think of it. So, I
passed the baby to the proud yet sweet mother. The baby was in a warm
blanket. Cookie began to breast feed her child. I wondered why she was doing
it but didn’t care to ask.

“Tie off the cord tightly with your string about 6 inches from the baby’s
body then, move another 2-3 inches towards the mother and tie off again. Use
your sterilized scissors to cut the cord between halfway these two knots,”
Cookie said.

“It’s a boy Cookie.”

“I will call it…Bo.” I took the baby and used the warm water to clean the
child off. As she delivered her whole of the umbilical cord and placenta I
threw them out. There was no apparent need for them so I chucked them.

She was so tired. I could see Cookie’s smile from a mile away though. She
had a long day. I looked at her new baby boy who was absolutely perfect.
From his sweet eyes right down to his tiny toes there he was in front of my
eyes. I loved him more than anything…I loved all there was about him. He was
named after me. I couldn’t believe she would do that. Now I am not the best
person in the world. I have killed people and I have gotten others killed.

The next night…

It was a chilled night tonight as I looked upon the deep grassy hills and
the light sound of gun fire from a far distance. “Look at what you have been
born into,” I mumbled to the baby. The child cooed and looked at me with
those deep brown eyes. I couldn’t believe the beauty of this child. It was
like no other beauty I had ever seen before.

“My child has taken a liking to you Bo duke,” Cookie whispers. The yawn is
heard throughout the hut and I smile at the sound of it. Everything about
Cookie is beautiful. She was meant to have such a wonderful child like Bo. I
am proud to have her child named after me. The grace and beauty of it was
remarkable.

I couldn’t seem to get it out of my mind about the grace that must’ve been
in all children. I wondered how my father must’ve felt to hold me in his
arms like I am to this baby. I wish I had known my father. There was
something about not knowing him that made me sad. I wished and longed for a
second chance with him.

“What do you want me to do child?” I asked him softly. The baby cooed once
more and smiled as if it were laughing at me. Was I that obvious? “What are
you laughing at child?” The baby seemed to point somewhere. As I looked
outside I knew that it was time to go back though I didn’t know where my
unit was.

I knew that this was the only way I was ever going to make people happy. I
had to get out of there. I had to be a person again. Something in me had
wanted to be someone I wasn’t. Now I knew that it was time to go home. I
didn’t care what anyone else said. I knew they would send me home.

I had to go and she knew it too. “You have been bottled up here too long
haven’t you?” Cookie asked. I couldn’t believe she knew what I was thinking.

“Yes but how did you…” I began.

“You are a falcon. You like to move freely. Caged you attack as soon as the
open it. You need your peace of being home.”

“You understand then?”

“If I didn’t Bo, what kind of a friend would I be?”

“Are you sure you will be okay?”

“Xuan will take care of me as will everyone else. I know that you will
always be in my heart.” I hugged her and her new born son. I didn’t want to
leave but knew I had to get back. I had to return to my true home. I had to
be truthful again. I wanted everything to be as it was but I knew it never
could be ever again.

I never looked back at that place while I walked up the deep grassy hills. I
didn’t want to think about going back and then leaving again. I gave Cookie
my address though because I did want her to write to me.

I had written Luke everyday while I was at this place. I wrote Cooter as
well. I thought that it would only be fair since they sent me so many
letters. I guess sometimes it’s the little things that keep you alive. I
loved those little things with a passion.

One of the letters went like this:

Dear Luke,

Oh how I miss you. I miss the little things like hearing your wonderful
letters and looking at the ones you send from Uncle Jesse. I am probably
known to be dead right now but I want you to know I am alive. I am living in
a hospital run by locals. I don’t know why I am telling you this. If you
never get this letter I will feel sheepish but here I am writing you
regardless of my feelings.

How are you? I hope you are well and that someday I can repay you for the
kindness you have shown me. I am sorry about all the things I said to you
about this war. I know now why you went and I know now why you wish you
didn’t go. I am proud of you Luke for everything you have ever accomplished
in this world. I wouldn’t be surprised if you turned out not to be a farmer
though. I think that you will become much more no matter what you think.

I know that it will be hard for me to go back and pretend nothing happened.
Some things though are meant to be the way they are. I don’t ever want them
to be that horrible anymore. I can’t wait to talk to you again even if it is
for a couple of minutes. Your voice seems to calm all my fears.

I wish for you and long to have you home. I need you back Luke and I never
want you to forget that I love you. I know men aren’t supposed to say those
things but I guess this time you can make an exception. You are truly a
wonderful cousin. You have done more for me than I ever would ask for. I got
used to it. I don’t want to loose it. I know that not having you here has
proved me to be a person who can take care of himself but I still miss you
with all my heart.

You better tell me everything that is happening up there. I want to hear all
the details of what you have been doing. I do miss you and I know that you
know that. Just come back to me alive. I want to see your face just looking
at me and telling me that everything is going to be okay. I don’t want to
loose that at all. You are a great cousin and a wonderful friend.

Anyway I have to get my bandages changed but you know I wouldn’t end this
letter if it was any different. I wish I could have more time to tell you
how it is being stuck in a hut. But you too have things to do.

Love,
Bo

Days past and I was hot and felt terrible. I found some Americans that were
sure they could take me back to my unit. The ground was hot and sand was
getting into my worn boots. It was very got in those things. I just wanted
to take them off. I suppose though that the sand was hotter than I would
have thought. Also with all the artillery surrounding me it proved to be
impossible.

There they were…what was left of my unit. Sergeant Rogers was standing up at
the front. I couldn’t believe it, he was the same old guy. Thank goodness he
didn’t see me there. Rogers was giving a speech to his new troops. There was
something familiar about that speech.

“Welcome to my outfit. Many people would rather die than be here in this war
you know. I know I would love to be at home right now in my own bed. Here I
am though giving you a speech,” Rogers began. I was standing behind him
mimicking him. People started to snicker. “Is there something wrong with my
performance?”

“No sir,” Answered the men.

“Alright then I will keep on going. I am happy they gave this job to me
instead of someone else.” The laughter continued. “Is there something on my
face that I didn’t know about?”

“No sir.”

“Please refrain from laughing.”

“Yes sir.”

“If you doubt me I want to hear it from you and not your buddies. This is
what fighting for, look at each one of you. All of you are American
soldiers.” The laughter was coming out of their noses. I couldn’t believe
how hard it was for them to hold it all in. “Okay that’s it, the next person
that laughing will be digging latrines.”

“Yes sir!”

“We are fighting for love, liberty, justice and the American way. Simple
respect, that’s all I ask of all of you. Not just me, you will respect
everyone and everything. You will even respect the enemy. They are people
too; you will respect them when we capture them. They have fought just like
you have. You have no right to treat them rotten. You will also respect
their land.” As I put up the moose antlers behind him everyone burst out
laughing. Rogers finally turned around.

“You don’t have to be so serious. Haven’t you learned anything from me?” I
asked him. Sergeant Rogers was in tears. I couldn’t believe I made him cry.
I know it wasn’t funny. Oh well. I would never grow up in my heart no matter
how long I was out here for.

“Troops…let me introduce you to my old boss…Captain Duke…better known as
Little Duke,” Sergeant Rogers commented. I didn’t think of him to call me
boss. I wasn’t his boss I was his friend. “He taught me a lot about
commanding an outfit.”

“What have you learned?”

“That calling you boss isn’t the best way to go on things.”

“That’s right.” I looked at the new boys in this outfit. They looked younger
than me somehow. Yet they were still much older. I didn’t know what it was
about those young men that seemed to look younger every year. I couldn’t
tell how old they were now. Sometimes I didn’t even remember how old I was.
I couldn’t believe how long I had been here.

Some things never change though. I couldn’t change for anyone no matter how
much I tried. I had to be a baby again. I didn’t know why either. Sometimes
you need to be younger than you are to survive. I suppose that things like
that affect others. Most of the men that were in my unit did have that
attitude about them. They were all special. I don’t know what to tell people
when they asked how I did it. I just did my best.

I walked around with this man almost all night. I just wanted to ask him
questions and see what he was up to. I couldn’t believe it when they told me
about Dubois. He was scheduled for a funeral here and then off to be buried
as a hero. I wasn’t about to stand for that. I would stay here even if they
tried to drag me out.

Well I didn’t stay in my unit long. Once they found out about my broken ribs
I was off to hospital again. I hated how they would do that. It was so
annoying. I still couldn’t help but think who had gotten the message. The
report that I was missing in action I mean. I couldn’t bare it any longer.
So when it was a reasonable time in the states I called over. It was 6:30 PM
here which made it roughly made it 8:00 AM. I didn’t care how early it
was…this wasn’t that early to farm folk. I had to call now.

The operator connected me from Tokyo to Honolulu to San Francisco to who
knows else where before finally bumping my call over to Hazzard. When the
operator was done her speech I was connected. “Cooter it’s me, you wouldn’t
believe what happened. I got into a big trouble with this war and this idiot
shot up firecrackers in the middle of a secret mission. I was lucky to make
it out alive. I couldn’t believe what happened,” I began to jabber.

“It’s nice to hear you too but I ain’t Cooter,” Vance replied.

“Oh no…I was lying…I ain’t…”

“Oh but you are there, Bo and I want to know why right now!” Oh man was I
gonna get it. I didn’t do anything like this before and now Vance finds out.

“Vance…I wanted to save your life. I told you I would.”

“So what, you took my birth certificate? So you joined the war? Bo, I
thought you were smarter than that.”

“You were drafted and I wasn’t about to let you die.”

“Coy thought it was…all of his fault. I didn’t know what to think.”

“I read all of your letters and everyone else’s to Luke.”

“Luke knew about this and never told us? What kind of people are you? How
could you do this to your family! I was sure you were both so much smarter.
Now I hear about this. I receive a message that I am missing in action. How
could I be missing in action if I was right here? Then I figured it out.”

“Van…”

“Look, you can’t do this to me and give me a big guilt trip. Everything you
told me was nothing but a lie. Everything in that letter was a lie. I don’t
ever want to talk to you again. You have hurt this family more than words
can say. How could you even think not to tell Uncle Jesse?”

“How could I tell him?”

“Uncle Jesse I joined the army.”

“Vance, don’t be such a jerk.”

“You don’t understand how I feel about being there without being there. You
do not know how it is like to try to help a cousin and not get rewarded for
it. I didn’t want you to die. I told you that I would do that for you.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“Are you going to say anything else to me? Like thank you or I am sorry
about getting into fights with you…something Vance anything like that.
Something to tell me that you really do care for me and don’t hate me; I
need to know.”

“You want something from me?”

“No…I want nothing from you I don’t want you to think I want anything back
from you. Just know that I did this out of love. Not out of spite.”

“You didn’t do me any favours! In fact you horrified all of us. We were sure
you were dead. We were sure that you didn’t make it past a few months. You
phoned Uncle Jesse that day and he never stopped crying for a minute. I have
never need him cry that much in my life. You don’t understand why everyone
hates you…or at least I hate you.”

“Did you tell Uncle Jesse?”

“Not yet. I won’t either. I will let you tell him if you come home or by a
death certificate which ever comes first.” Vance hung up the phone on me.
Well that went well. I thought that I would at least be told that I scared
him to death. Oh no though, Bo wasn’t a hero…Bo was an evil little child
that was supposed to be shot down over and over again. Well I wasn’t about
to take this.

I didn’t want to go home now. This was worse than anything I had ever heard
of before. I had never heard anyone talk to me like that. He wanted me dead.
He didn’t really care about me at all. Well that was just great.

I had lost a cousin now over this. I didn’t want him to think that I was a
big spineless person. However I wasn’t like that at all. I did do it for me
and I did it for him. I wanted to be someone and I guess I never will be
that someone.

There was only one advantage out of all of this, Vance was a Major and I was
a civilian. I was so proud of that. But still…he would be mad at me. To have
Vance mad at me was the worst feeling in the world.