by: Sarah Stodola

“Luke! Luke!”

It was a couple of days after he had met Anna. He was still trying to get his emotions on that matter sorted out, while trying to coax a dying pickup back into life. He frowned and pushed his way out from under the machine, wrench in hand, just in time to get landed upon by a blond teenager. It quite literally knocked the breath out of him. He coughed, trying to breathe.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry!” Bo realized what he’d done. He scrambled up and offered a hand to his older cousin. “I’m really, really sorry!”

The pleading dark blue eyes melted Luke’s heart almost before he started to get mad. He sighed and nodded, accepting the hand up and brushing himself off. “I’m okay. What is it?”

“Can I go into town with Greg and Laura? They’re going to a movie.”

Luke pondered that for a moment. Greg and Laura were brother and sister, from the next farm up the road. They were good kids. “Well…”

“Please?”

“All right. Go on. But be back for dinner!” he called after the already-running boy.

“Okay!”

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by Sarah Stodola

Originally written 1998. Edited/reposted March 2005 

Author’s note (updated):

It is not normally my style to write an extended intro to a story of mine, but I feel I should, for some reason, to this one. This novel, I suppose I should call it, has been a work of much love on my part, an attempt to see inside people that I feel I know as well as I could know anyone, and show what I see to others.

“Cousins”, though an alternate-universe adventure story where most of the events center around the creation and racing of the General Lee, is also a journey through the hearts and souls of two boys that we all know and love. Events and even people are slightly different in some, more outside, ways, but I have tried to capture the essence of who they are, deep down. I hope I have succeeded. Enjoy, and any and all comments/reviews are greatly appreciated.

Many thanks to all my friends and fellow authors from the Crossroads who so quickly accepted me when I first began to write so many years ago, and originally cheered the creation of this story on. I am very grateful to be back in Hazzard again now, and especially to find so many of my friends remaining at HazzardNet.

And I can’t think of anyone better I could ever dedicate this work to than Daisy, without whom I would never have understood or loved her cousins as much as I do. (If you wish to understand this comment, read “A Christmas Tale.”)

Sarah C. Stodola

dixie_dream1n@yahoo.com

*****************

“Hey! Where’d you go?”

The young voice broke the stillness of the woods in playful complaint. Moments later, a young teenager trotted out of the trees into a tiny clearing. He paused and looked around, head high in an almost instinctive pride and dark blue eyes shining with laughter. He brushed his overly-long blond hair out of his face as he looked around.

“Kris! No fair! You’re supposed to stay in sight!”

In response, another boy, this one small and dark-haired, dropped down out of a tree and started running with a red flag clutched in his fist. The blond spotted him and took off like a shot, shouting to any teammates that remained for support.

The kids at Rialton Boarding Home, a cross between a boarding school and an orphanage, a place for kids whose parents couldn’t take care of them to stay, were playing Capture-The-Flag. It was a hard, quick, rough game, and most of the girls participating had dropped out some time ago, captured on purpose so as to be able to quit. The game was drawing to its close, and there were only five players left, two boys and a girl on the Red team, and two boys, one of whom was the young blond, on the Blue team.

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By: Deathangel_Tori

“You. Heard. Right. Rosco. I am running for president of the U.S. of A.” He said shoving a cigar back into his mouth while mirth danced on his features.

Rosco was unsure how to respond. Heck he didn’t even know how to react. Sure his little fat buddy loved money, but never showed an aspirations in politics outside of the little county. Then it hit him.

“Um, Boss. Thats really great and all, but where does that leave me?”

Boss thought for a moment, “You can be my Vice DO-DO.”

“Khee. See now I thought you forgot all about me you little meadow muffin you.” Sudden realisation hit him as he went over Boss’s words again ‘Vice Dodo‘ He reckoned there should be an insult, but of all the things Boss had called in the past this was actually a far more nicer thing. He left Boss to work while he went on his rounds, after all he was going to be vice to the next president of the United States. Right? He wasn’t sure if Boss was really including him in on his plans but he hoped for a change that it wasn’t just a puff of smoke.

After a year and a half worth of campaigning Boss did Become President and Rosco… well… he did get his Vice Dodoship, I…I mean vice presidency and generally running amok.

“Boss… Boss. Khee!”

“Rosco. How many times do I have to tell you, address me as President Boss! C’mere you dodo.” He yanked poor Rosco into the oval office. “Now how’s the franchise?”

“Franchise? Boss? I don’t get what your asking?” Rosco had bigger news to tell him, like what his new stills have been producing.

“Yah Know. THEE Franchise.”

Rosco shook his head still in complete confusion, “Um, no, I don’t, but I will tell you the new stills you placed since taking office really shot through the roof!” He was really pleased at giving President Boss good news for a change.

Boss shook his head and gasped when he realized that Rosco said what he said where he said it.”You dang jackass!” He pulled him by the lapels of Rosco’s red suit and whispered to him. “Where are you at?”

He thought for a moment, “In your office.”

“And just where is that office located in?”

“OOOh, I know that one, shoot. The White House. Dang, I know something ya know.”

“Oh you do? I don’t think so. Ever hear of Watergate?”

“Khee, Is that the door to the pool room?”

Boss sighed, how he managed to make it to this point with him as a side kick completely baffled him. “No Rosco, you idjit. Taped recordings. Scandal. Any of that ring a bell in that little pea brain of yours?” He shook his head and changed his hat for his poker visor. “Allright, do you think you keep from giving away any more of our business to the feds? I’m going to play a few hands with Chinese President Hu Jintao and Vladimir Putin in the Vermeil Room.”

Nothing calmed Boss down more then playing cards, but even better now since he was winning parcels of land from world leaders to put the next Hogg’s something or other on the market. Now Boss at this point had been winning quite a number of hands and losing a few to make it look all legit. Wouldn’t ya know ole’ Rosco had to come along and throw a monkey wrench in the works, complete with the monkey.

“Boss, I think you dropped this and these too.”

Now Rosco has some horrendeous timing. Those other country leaders don’t seem to like the fact that the President here were cheating them the entire time. “Dung ee hwar… chou ma niao! Go HWONG-TONG!” He motioned to his body guard and began his advance on the soon to be Late President Hogg.

“Leave a bit for me, Comrade.”

This was way more then Boss wanted to get into, he went off scurrying for parts unknown leaving his staff and his secret service to pick up the pieces.

“You Jackass! This is all your fault!”

“Mister President.”

“Oh yes, did you take care of the situation…”

“We’re not secret service sir.”

“You’re not?” His frown became even more of a frown if that was even possible and got a really bad bad feeling. “Then who the heck are ya?”

“FBI, sir. I’m afraid you’ll have to come with us.”

“What for?” The feds hurried the president and vice into a black expedition to be ferried away.

“Your under arrest for illegal alcohol production. Specifically Moonshine.” Boss was shocked he’d been found out and decided to bully his way out.

“You moron. Don’t you know who I am? I’m the president of the Unit…”

The agent waved a hand in the air clearly dismissing Boss, “You were. As soon as the formal charges are made you’ll be stripped of that duty.”

Now Boss was fit to be tied. He’d never been caught if he was back in Hazzard, specially since he owned it, he had owned the law too and now…

“It was him,” pointing to Rosco. “I had no knowledge of any moonshine.” He was smug now, he just passed the buck to his brother in law.

“Now wait a pea picking minute! You can’t….guh! oohh, thats what I think it is?” pointing to the black object that gave a nice click as it was readied.

“Rosco. How many times do I have to tell you, address me as President Boss! C’mere you dodo.” He yanked poor Rosco into the oval office.”Now how’s the franchise?”

“Franchise? Boss? I don’t get what your asking?” Rosco had bigger news to tell him, like what his new stills have been producing.

“Yah Know. THEE Franchise.”

Rosco shook his head still in complete confusion, “Um, no, I don’t, but I will tell you the new stills you placed since taking office really shot through the roof!”

The agent turned off the recorder. Both convicted prisoners whimpered and exchanged looks at each other. What they feared had finally come to pass.

Rosco closed his eyes seeing everything disappear in a heartbeat and then to reopen them to look over the dash of his patrol car.

“OOh, OOhh!!” He looked at his surroundings and finding great comfort that he was truly in Hazzard. “Hot Dang! That one was a doozy!” An orange car took an oppurtune time to go flying past the nose of his car. “Khee! Hot Pur-suit! I love it! I love it! Boy do I love it!”

So poor ole Rosco went chasing after the boys and ended up sitting in someones barn after not negotiating a turn properly. Boss clearly had no ambitions to be president and even let out a mild expletive when the Dukes arrived on time with the mortgage money. Some things, thankfully will never change.

Translations:

Dung ee hwar… – hold on a second

Chou ma niao-stinking horse-urine

Go HWONG-TONG – Enough of this nonsense

by: i1976

HAZZARD
“Come on guys. Wake up. There’re a lot of things to do today”, uncle Jesse’s voice fills the farm.
It’s 7 a.m., but it’s a special day: it’s Christmas eve.
All three cousins come in the kitchen, still yawning.
“What time is it, uncle Jesse? Outside it’s still dark”, Bo mumbles, rubbing his eyes.
“It’s time to wake up. It’s Christmas eve, and we have to prepare dinner for our guests, you know, Boss with Lulu, and Rosco, Cletus, Cooter. Come on. Daisy, I need your help in the kitchen. Bo and Luke, do the cleanings and decorate the farm”
Bo and Luke sigh, “Yes sir”.
Daisy yawns, sitting at the table while uncle Jesse looks at her with his deep eyes.
“Daisy, honey, have your breakfast and then get ready. I need your help”.
Daisy sighs, “I don’t know why we have to invite so many people at the farm. I’d only like to stay a bit alone……. I’d like to go bed early this evening, and I’d stay in bed all day long tomorrow”.
Uncle Jesse shakes his head, “Daisy, you’ve always loved Christmas, so, please, cheer up, otherwise you’ll sadden all our guests. Come on, dress you up”
Daisy stands up silently, heading to her bedroom.
Uncle Jesse knows very well what’s bothering Daisy, but he prefers don’t talk to her ‘bout it: Daisy is very stubborn, and she doesn’t like to talk about her deep feelings, especially if these feelings concern Enos.

LOS ANGELES
Enos is filling his carryall with everything he needs.
He’s in a hurry.
He thought he had to spend Christmas in Los Angeles, but Lieutenant Broggi gave him some days off.
He hopes he put everything he needs in his bag; he’s gone off duty after his night shift and his mind isn’t very clear.
Finally he closes his carryall, sighing; he regrets he didn’t buy a gift for Daisy, but he didn’t know he could spend Christmas in Hazzard.
Daisy…….
He looks at the phone, thinking to call her to tell her he’s coming, then he looks at the clock: it’s late.
Turk is waiting for him to bring him to the airport.
“I’ll phone her when I’ll arrive at the airport”, he thinks, and he rushes out his house.
Few after he’s in Turk’s car, but there’s a roblem: they are stuck in a traffic jam.
“Gosh. What’s happening, Turk?”
His colleague looks at him, smiling, “Enos, it’s not a long time since you arrived in L.A., but you should know L.A. traffic. Moreover, today is Christmas eve…… Gifts… arrivals….. departures… you know”
Enos leans his head on the window, trying to keep calm.
“What if I don’t reach the airport in time”.

HAZZARD
Uncle Jesse and Daisy are in the kitchen, both intent to the preparation of one of the famous Duke’s meals.
Uncle Jesse sometimes looks at her niece.
Daisy is frowning and she doesn’t seem to have a good time as usual in the kitchen.
Bo and Luke come in the kitchen after they cut the firewood.
“Today it’s very cold. One of the coldest Christmas I remember, don’t you think, Luke?”.
Luke nods; he’s older than Bo and his memory is stronger than Bo’s one, “Yeah cousin. This is one of the coldest Christmas I’ve ever seen”
Suddenly Daisy shouts, holding tight her right hand, “Oh my God, I’ve cut my finger”
Uncle Jesse quickly comes by her side, taking gently her hand among his ones, “Let me see”, then he gives a sigh of relief, “It’s only a small cut, don’t worry, disinfect it and then cover it with a band-aid”
Daisy nods, with tears in her eyes.
Bo tries to minimize, “Are you crying for such a small cut, cousin? You should be careful when you have a knife in your hands; think ‘bout what you’re cutting and don’t think ‘bout other things”.
Bo smiles to Daisy, but Daisy is angry, “What do you mean when you say to think ‘bout what I’m cutting and not ‘bout other things? I hate these vegetables, cut them by yourself”
“DAISY MAE DUKE!!”, uncle Jesse reproaches her, but then his tone returns calm as usual, “Go to the bathroom and disinfect your finger, then take a break”.
Daisy goes to the bathroom in a fury, slamming the door.

LOS ANGELS
Enos is now in the airport’s waiting room.
He missed the plane, despite his one mile race because of the traffic jam; in effect he reached the airport earlier than by car (which probably was lying still in the traffic), but his running didn’t help.
He sighs.
But there’s still a hope. At 3 p.m. there’s another flight to Atlanta; it’s fully booked, but in case some passenger doesn’t arrive at the airport, he’d be the first on the waiting list.
He looks at the phone in the room, wondering if he should phone at the Duke’s farm and tell Daisy he’s arriving … maybe.
He shakes his head, sighing again: what if he can’t leave? It’s better not to phone.
3 p.m….. a 7 hours flight, it means that he’ll land at Atlanta at 10 p.m….. then 2 hours by car (a rental car, ‘cause he doesn’t want to bother his friends) to reach Hazzard.
Enos stands up and he starts wandering in the airport, like a soul in torment.
Finally he buys some comic books and he starts reading them, trying to kill the time.
But his previous night shift overwhelms him and he falls asleep.

HAZZARD
It’s lunch time.
Bo, Luke and Uncle Jesse are eating their lunch silently whereas Daisy’s in her bedroom trying to sleep because of a bad headache (or al least she said so).
“I don’t know what’s happening to Daisy”, Bo shakes his head, “she usually loves Christmas but today she’s more poisonous than a rattlesnake. Our guests will risk a poisoning”.
Luke sighs, “Bo, sometimes you’re very naïve. Don’t you understand why Daisy is so bed-tempered? Think of our guests and guess who’s missing”.
Bo nods, “I know, Luke. Enos won’t be here tonight, and I’ll miss him; everyone’ll miss him, but it’s Christmas, and we need to be happy, for us and for everyone”.
Uncle Jesse stands up, clearing the table, “I hope Daisy understands that her behaviour saddens us and it can’t make Enos happy. We know he’s spending this Christmas all alone and so far away; he usually spent Christmas here, and the only thing we can do is to pray for him and for his happiness, hoping to spend next Christmas with him, here”.
Bo and Luke nods; uncle Jesse is always right.
Meanwhile Daisy is in her room, staring at the ceiling.
She’s sad because Enos won’t be there, but she’s also worried ‘bout him: how he’ll spend Christmas all alone? She knows how much Enos likes to spend Christmas at the Duke farm, and how much Dukes mean to him (his only family).
Finally Daisy closes her eyes and she falls asleep.

LOS ANGELES
Enos wakes up; someone’s shaking him gently.
He looks around him, and strangely the airport is empty: is he dreaming?
“Hey boy, wake up, you have to leave”.
Enos rubs his eyes, “Leave? But I missed the flight, and the next one is fully booked”
He checks the watch: it’s 1 p.m.
The deputy looks at the woman by his side: she’s long raven hair, hazel eyes and a sweet smile.
He knows her, but he’s confused and he can’t remember who’s that woman.
The woman shakes him again, “Come on, stand up, there’s a seat for you on the next flight. Have a happy Christmas with your beloved friends, especially one of them”, she winks at him, surprising him: how does she know?
He’s very tired, and he closes his eyes again.
“Mr Strate? Wake up, there’s a seat on the next flight to Atlanta”.
Enos opens his eyes, looking at the blonde hostess in front of him
The airport is crowded, and, looking his watch, he sees it’s 2.30 p.m.
He looks around him; where’s that raven-haired woman? A dream? He knows her, but he can’t remember: it’s like to try to catch something foggy (when he’s close to catch it, it disappears). She looks like ……. Is it possible?
“Mr Strate? Do you want to take the flight?”
Enos stands up, “Yeah, thank you”.
The hostess smiles, “Come on, now boarding”
So he follows the hostess.
When he sees a phone he thinks he’ll phone Daisy when he’ll be in Atlanta.

HAZZARD
Daisy is wearing her best dress in front of the mirror.
She tries to smile.
In effect she feels better, in particular thanks to a dream she just had: she dreamt her mother telling her Enos’s coming for Christmas. A beautiful Christmas gift.
She takes a deep breath, “What a strange dream. Anyway, I’m goin’ to have a great Christams eve with my family and my friends. I know Enos’s telephone number, so I’ll call him….. Or maybe he’ll call me. I don’t have to be so sad”.
Finally guests arrive at the farm.
Daisy comes near her cousins and her uncle, hugging them and thanking them for their patience and their Christmas party.
Bo and Luke are happy to see their cousin smiling, finally.
“I’m sorry uncle Jesse, I don’t want to ruin all your work for tonight,… it’s only….”
Uncle Jesse touches gently her arm, “I know, Daisy. There’s no need to apologize. I know what you’re thinking. But don’t worry, Enos will be fine, he’ll call us, otherwise we’ll call him. I wish he were here, but he’ll be happy when we’ll call him”.

Midnight.
Everyone is near the fireplace.
Cletus’s sleeping, almost drunk.
Rosco’s joking with Flash
Lulu’s squeezing Boss’s hand (and Boss is a bit embarrassed ‘bout it).
Cooter, in his best dress, is talking ‘bout cars with Bo and Luke.
Uncle Jesse’s enjoying Christmas peace: his beloved nephews and niece around him in his farm.
Daisy’s staring the fireplace; she tried to call Enos but he didn’t answer nor he called back, and now she’s worrying for him.
Suddenly a knock at the door.
Daisy stands up, wondering who could be out there, at midnight.
And if…? She shakes her head, “Don’t daydream, Daisy”.
When she opens the door she sees a man with a carryall on his shoulder.
She looks at him, opening her eyes wide.
Then she shouts for joy and she hugs him tight.
Few after everyone is around Daisy and Enos.

Later, everyone is again near the fireplace; the night is so peaceful and the farm so warm (a warmth not only because of the fireplace) that nobody wants to leave.
Enos and Daisy are in the kitchen, and Daisy’s heating something to eat for Enos.
“You know, Enos…. It’s strange but…. Today I dreamt of my mother telling me you’re coming for Christmas. A gift from her, I think so”.
Enos starts.
Finally he remembers who that woman was: she died when he was only a little child (few after his birth), but he remembers her pictures.
“Yeah, a gift from our mothers”.
He stands up and he kisses Daisy gently.

By: LizzyJackson-Davenport

Over on Hazzardnet in the “Snow in Hazzard County” thread RogerDuke said something about being out of CB range and this just grew from there. I hope you enjoy it and a merry Christmas to all.

“I can not believe you got us lost on Christmas Eve Bo. On our anniversary no less. You said you knew the way home from the graveyard and yet here we are.” She complained again.

“So you’ve stated a few times. Moreover, as I’ve told you I did not get us lost. We are simply in a part of Hazzard County that I’m not one hundred percent familiar with. If Rosco hadn’t been chasing us we wouldn’t be in this predicament at all.”

“If we had taken my car we wouldn’t have been chased therefore we wouldn’t be lost.”

“I’m sorry alright. I didn’t expect nor plan on this happening.”

“This is Hazzard County and you’re a Duke of course this is gonna happen. Please just get us home.” The car went silent as they continued to drive. The only sound was coming from the carols that flowed from the radio station she had insisted upon. After a bit more of Bo’s driving they both heard a popping noise and the car jolted as if Bo had run over something.

“Don’t even ask.” Bo said.

“Ask what?” The girl said softly.

“What that was. I don’t know but I have a feeling you’re gonna blame that on me too.” The girl held her hands up innocently but Bo rolled his eyes. “Just hand me the flashlight in the glove box.” She handed it over and Bo got out to check. He looked around but couldn’t find anything so he looked at the tires. “Great.” Bo muttered under his breath.

“What?” She asked climbing out.

“It flattened both tires. I’m gonna have to call Cooter but I’m not sure I can raise him.”

“Just try. I want to go home some time soon.”

So Bo tried and tried but Cooter never answered. Bo also tried to raise his uncle or his cousin and even tried the sheriff but still got no answer.

“Great not only have you managed to get us lost on Christmas Eve but now you’ve flattened both tires and we’re out of CB range. My father is gonna kill you.” The girl said. “What are you going to do?”

“Me?” Bo asked.

“You got us into this mess so you can get us out. I’m cold, I’m hungry, we’re lost, and it’s getting late. Please just find us a way home.” She begged. The evening had started so nice too. Bo had picked her up and taken her out to a movie and then to the graveyard as per tradition to see her mom who had passed on six years prior.

“Fine I’ll find a way home.” Nearly as if by some sort of miracle a farmer came by in a horse-drawn wagon. “Sir? Sir! Can you give us a lift?” Bo asked as the farmer stopped.

“What seems to be the problem son?”

“He hit something a few yards back and both the back tires are flat. We tried to raise Cooter but…”

“You’re too far out from town. No car CB would reach that far kids.” The farmer says smiling softly. “I know you, you’re the Duke boy.”

“Yes sir, you see Sheriff Rosco was chasing us a while ago and after I out ran him I ran something over. If I don’t have her home for supper her daddy’s gonna skin me. It’s our anniversary tonight, two years together. My cousin Daisy’s probably got supper on the table by now and we were hoping to find a way home to it. If you don’t want to give me a ride, please give her one. It’s not her fault we’re stuck out here. She’s rather mad at me for getting us lost but she shouldn’t have to suffer in the cold especially if it starts snowing.” Bo said hoping to charm the farmer into giving the girl a ride.

“I’m sorry there’s not enough room.” Bo looked down and tried to think of something else. “Well not for both of you up front. Hop in the back there if you don’t mind sitting with the hay.”

“We really appreciate this sir.” She said nodding to the farmer.

“Sure where are you heading?”

“The Duke farm if you don’t mind. If you do you can just drop us off in town. We’ll make our way back from there.” The girl said as Bo helped her up into the back of the wagon.

“Don’t mind at all. It’s gonna be quite a ride though so you two get comfortable. I think there might be a blanket if you’re lucky.” The farmer said as he cracked the reins and the horses started pulling. The couple sat down and Bo placed the blanket on the girl’s lap then got comfortable himself. Eventually, even with the blanket covering most of her body, the cold and partially the farmer’s carols got to the girl and she shifted a bit at a time until she was curled up in Bo’s arms with the blanket covering most of them.

“Was it really just two years ago that this all started?” The girl asked.

“Two years ago that I asked you to be my girlfriend.” Bo answered. “Do you remember our first kiss?” The girl laughed and shifted a bit more.

“Yup. Hallway at the high school. You were on your way to…some kind of studying thing when you nearly knocked me down. You helped me up but I wouldn’t look at you. Instead-”

“Instead you were staring at the ceiling. I asked you a dozen times what was wrong but you never answered so I followed your gaze. My eyes landed on the mistletoe and I understood. You were muttering something about a stupid tradition and I said, “It’s a great tradition if followed through correctly.” You disagreed and I just had to prove you wrong.”

“You certainly did.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Not a bit.” She said right before he kissed her.
———
“Was Great Uncle Jesse mad that you were late to dinner that night mama?” The little boy asked interrupting his bed time story.

“Not at all JJ. But now it’s time for you to go to bed or else Santa won’t come and you won’t get that toy you’ve always wanted.”

“The action figure with the…” The boy went on the woman was looking back at the man in the doorway who smiled softly.

“Yes sweetheart, now sleep.” She answered when boy stopped. The boy yawned and then tucked himself under the blankets and curled up, his blue eyes falling closed no matter how hard he tried to fight it.

The woman stood and smoothed down the covers before meeting her husband in the hallway. “Look what I found.” Bo grinned.

“Mistletoe. Such a stupid tradition.” She muttered as he held it up over their heads.

“It’s a great tradition if followed through correctly.” Bo answered.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well then I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

“Again?” Bo grinned and kissed his wife of 15 years soundly.