by: Essy Jane
Bo was driving that day as Roscoe chased behind them. His blonde hair was waving in the wind. The curls seemed to take on a life of their own. Nice to see Bo behind the wheel ain’t it? You know, even the driving instructor said he was a natural. Already, Bo had most of his Uncle Jesse’s driving habits.
“What the heck would he be doing behind us?” Luke questioned his cousin as Bo took another sharp turn. Luke held on to the window of the car.
“I don’t know Luke but this makes me long for the General Lee. Hey, look in the back, see if Cooter has anything in here that might slow him down,” Bo replied.
“Alright but knowing Cooter, there’s nothing interesting but car magazines.”
“Just get back there Luke, I am not in the mood for sarcasm.”
“Well then you hired the wrong court jester, I am always filled with sarcasm.”
“Well then, I will erase your memory.” Luke began to laugh.
“Like you could do that, Bo Duke—what’s eating at you?
“Nothing really, I am jumpy especially with Roscoe behind me.”
“Why, you’re a great driver.”
“That doesn’t mean that I can’t be cautious. Now can you get back there already?”
“Alright, here I go.” Luke took a look back there.
“Hurry up, he’s gaining.” He continued rambling through the back. Luke pulled off a big burlap sack that had been cut and sewn together. He couldn’t find anything useful sitting under there but what he did find…
“Ah Bo, you might want to take a look down here.” Bo looked in the rearview mirror.
“MOONSHINE?” Yes, Boss Hogg’s recipe of moonshine passed down from generation to generation.
“Well it don’t look like water to me. If I didn’t think we would be arrested for drinking under age, I would have tried it to be sure it truly was.” You see, Boss Hogg usually gets some yokel to drive it so as he isn’t caught.
“You have got to be kidding me.” Besides the Dukes, the Davenports were the best drivers in town. Cooter must have forgotten about it being in the back.
“I wish I was cousin. There’s enough of it here to put us away for the rest of our natural life.” Bo’s eyes shifted back and forth. He shook his head. Now Jesse would have their heads if they were caught with moonshine again.
“Step on it?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Cooter’s goanna pay for this. He owes us lunch.”
“More than that Bo, I think his services should be for free.”
“I don’t think we can out run him at all. We need to get rid of the evidence.”
“Well do it cousin.”
“I’m driving, you do it.”
“I knew that.” Luke grabbed the first bottle out and then a second. Bo put his foot down on the accelerator. They sped up. As they came to a cliff, Luke noticed how close they were to the edge.
“Hey do you mind slowing down just a little bit? One it is hard to throw the bottles out when you’s speeding like this but two, we are goanna be pancakes if we don’t.” Bo kept pushing on the break. Luke climbed back over the seat.
“I can’t.” Luke sat back down in the passenger’s seat. “I just can’t, Luke.”
“No, no, what do you mean you can’t?” Luke reached his foot over and tried to use the break. “Bo…”
“Luke we have to jump.” Luke nodded.
“I’m with you cousin.” Luke grabbed a piece of rope and tied it to the head rest. “At least this way it will stay out.”
“Forget about that, we have to get out of here.”
“Okay, I’m coming!” They both went out of Bo’s door. The car kept on going straight. Roscoe and Enos slowed down.
“Duke Boys, you had better slow down now. I won’t give you a ticket if you do khee,” Roscoe said over the CB. The car kept moving. Roscoe’s eyes widened. “Now boys, I am serious, this is no reason to go and get yourselves hurt. Pull over Bo, come back.”
The car continued going closer towards the cliff.. It suddenly took to the air. It flew for a minute and suddenly began to go down. The car turned over repeatedly until it hit the bottom of the ravine. Smoke rolled out of the automobile slowly at first. I don’t like to see any car in that condition do you?
Remember friends, smoke doesn’t mean they’re having a barbeque down there. The haze you see down there means trouble for the car. Remember, Luke didn’t exactly get all the moonshine out.
Now as Roscoe saw the car he came to an awkward stop. He got out of the car quickly, as did Enos who was following pretty closely behind at the time. They both couldn’t believe the horrific sight. The car just sat there, staring at them. “Do you see any movement Enos?” Roscoe asked. Enos shouted out of pure frustration.
“I can’t see anything Sheriff!” Enos cried.
“Neither can I. All I can see is the smoke. Dang it, do you think they got out?”
“Bo, Luke!” Enos exclaimed. He prepared himself to go down the cliff after them, not knowing that they had jumped out. Suddenly the car exploded. Enos was still trying to go down. Roscoe held him back and looked him straight in the eye.
“NO ENOS! No one could have survived that,” Roscoe told him. His eyes filled up with tears.
“Sheriff they can’t be dead, they just can’t.”
“Enos, we can’t save them now.” Enos fell to his knees in total shock. He began weeping uncontrollably.
“Bo, Luke—no, I…”
“I know Enos, I know.”
“They were my best buddies. Why were we chasing them? Huh? If it wasn’t for us…”
“Enos! Don’t blame yourself.”
“Sheriff, they’re gone…Bo and Luke are gone.” Enos began to cry harder than before. He couldn’t believe this had happened.
“I know Enos, I know.” He crawled towards the cliff wanting to go down again but a second explosion of the car ruled out any doubt that the Duke Boys were coming back.
“Sheriff, I have just got to help them!” Roscoe swallowed hard. He was trying to push back the tears.
“Enos, you can’t help them.”
“I’m their friend, sheriff, I have to help them!” Enos began shaking his head repeatedly. “I just have to get them back up here.”
“ENOS, THEY’RE GONE!”
“They got out, they had to.” Enos stood up. He looked out into the horizon. “BO—LUKE…COME OUT BUDDIES.” Roscoe cried harder than before.
“They’re not coming Enos.”
“BO…LUKE!”
“Enos, stop it!”
“Sheriff?”
“What is it?”
“They ain’t coming back.” Roscoe shook his head no. “They ain’t goanna be in Hazzard no more.”
“The lord giveth and the lord taketh away.” Enos took off his hat and so did Roscoe. “We’ll never forget will we?”
“No, no we won’t.”
Yeah I know what you’re thinking. Sad ain’t it? Keep in mind though, no one died. Bo and Luke got out of the car remember? Yeah I knew it would come back to ya.
If you look over to the far left…nope keep going…ah a little more behind the bushes, there you go. You see those two humps over there? That’s Bo and Luke. They are lying across from each other…their heads are by the hefty rock.
Taking into consideration how far they are from the wreckage do you think that Roscoe P. Coltrane is goanna find them? They are pretty hidden away or should I say camouflaged? Yeah they were camouflaged more than ever, ah since they’re behind a great number of bushes.
Now you know that Enos was crying something terrible. Roscoe didn’t know what to say to the Dukes. So first, he reported back to the one and only Boss Hogg. Now if you think that Bo and Luke’s death shocked Enos and Roscoe, think about how Boss Hogg felt.
“Dead?” Boss asked blankly. He shook his head, sticking a cigar in his mouth. He lit it and blew out the smoke “Are you sure?”
“No one could have survived that blast. It was in one of Cooter’s cars,” Roscoe replied. Boss’ eyes widened.
“COOTER’S cars? MY PRECIOUS WONDERFUL MOONSHINE!!!!” Boss Hogg growled. “I am taking that out of your pay.” Boss’ eyes widened. He shook his head no.
“Now Boss, shouldn’t we be concentrating on the Duke Boys?” Boss Hogg snapped his fingers, he opened up a file folder. “Why are you opening up your Uncle’s memoirs?”
“Simple, Bone Head—read this.” Roscoe picked up the papers and cleared his throat. He stood up straight and smiled. He looked down at the paper.
“Roscoe, my dumb Sheriff…”
“See the connection?” Roscoe growled. “Keep reading or you’ll loose your job.”
“Roscoe my dumb Sheriff walked into my office at the Boar’s Nest and stared at me. He told me the Dukes were dead. I had a great plan to pin something on them but…”
“They weren’t dead.”
“They weren’t in fact dead.”
“Ah, close enough.”
“They played tricks on me—and my dumb sheriff to make us tell where the items that were proclaimed stolen were. In the end, I had to pay Daisy reward money.” Roscoe looked up confused.
“There was a Daisy Duke in his time too knuckle head!” Roscoe nodded, showing that he understood. He handed back the paper.
“Check the area!”
“Shouldn’t I tell Jesse Duke?” Boss Hogg rolled his eyes.
“Okay tell Jesse Duke and then check the area.”
“Shouldn’t Enos come with me for support when I tell Uncle Jesse about his boys? Then should I make sure all the area is Duke free, not just part of the area the whole area and nothing but the area?”
“Roscoe, you’re giving me a headache!”
“Well I don’t know what to do. Those Dukes have been through a lot of things what with them…”
“How dare you sympathize with those Dukes! I get enough of that from your fat sister.”
“She is smart, Boss.”
“I don’t care if she’s smart.”
“Well I personally think…”
“I didn’t ask you to think. Just get out of here.” Roscoe nodded quickly and walked out. Roscoe walked out of the office. Boss Hogg swallowed hard and sighed. “Dang it, poor boys—poor Jesse Duke…he’s goanna be heartbroken at this news.” Roscoe popped his head back in.
“I knew you cared.”
“Didn’t I tell you to get out of here?”
“Sorry Boss.”
“You better not tell this to anyone!”
“Yes Boss.”
“Now vamoose!”
“Vamoosing Boss, I am out of here.” Boss Hogg rolled his eyes and snarled, signaling Roscoe to move faster but he still didn’t seem to get it..
“GET OUT!” Roscoe ran out of the office and got in his car. Now friends, I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t wanna break this news to the Dukes—or to anyone for that matter.
2
Jesse sat on the front porch shaping a piece of wood into a whistle. He felt a sharp pain in his toe. Daisy walked over and sat beside him, embracing the nicely lit sky. “My big toe’s a hurtin’ again,” Uncle Jesse commented. Daisy looked at him funny. She held on to her uncle. “Trouble’s a foot, girl.”
“Oh the boys are just driving back into town to pick up the General Lee. No harm in that,” Daisy replied.
“Yeah, I suppose you are right, kid.” Suddenly they heard a horn going off. It was Cooter and Dodger. Jesse stood up as Cooter and Dodger ran over to them. “What is wrong with you two?”
“Can’t y’all come around here like normal people?”
“Where are Bo and Luke?” Dodger asked.
“Yeah and where is my car?” Cooter questioned.
“If you hadn’t made the fool mistake of lending him THAT car, you wouldn’t have to ask that question.”
“Well THAT car was goanna give us like nine thousand dollars.”
“Cooter, you know the boys are on probation!”
“Yeah I know and I’m sorry.”
“Okay, I don’t like where this little tiny chitchat is going!” Jesse cut in. Cooter tried to walk away. Dodger pulled him back towards Jesse. “What in the world is going on?”
“Uncle Jesse…”
“Cooter, I ain’t your Uncle Jesse, I will never be your Uncle Jesse. Do you got that?”
“Yes Uncle Jesse.” Daisy laughed as Jesse growled.
“Now tell me, what is going on.”
“Well you see—I forgot that Boss gave me moonshine in that car.”
“HOW COULD YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?” Daisy shook her head. “Do you have any, ANY idea what this could do to those boys?”
“Yeah and I am sorry.”
“Sorry ain’t good enough. Luke is almost done high school. Bo is getting decent marks. I am not aiming on getting them arrested anytime soon! I don’t wanna visit my nephews from juvy.”
“Cooter, this is low, even from you!” Daisy exclaimed. Cooter’s head lowered.
“Y’all I’m so sorry, honest,” Cooter mumbled.
“I know you are but you have got to think.”
“Yeah I do have to think.”
“You know, the boys could be late because of this. When they find the shine they’ll have to get rid of it.”
“Yeah I know. How about this? I take them out for lunch. It’ll make them feel better.”
“They don’t need anymore trouble than they’re already getting.”
“Well I am mighty sorry, Daisy. I know, I was being stupid and those boys are important to me.”
“Thanks for admitting it Cooter.” Suddenly, Jesse saw Roscoe and Enos’ car coming from around the corner. “Uncle Jesse…”
“Probably here to tell us—tell us that they’re missing from the law. Now act natural y’all,” Uncle Jesse told everyone. Cooter and Dodger crouched down. Roscoe and Enos’ cars came to a halt. They both got out and walked towards the gang sitting around the porch. “Hello Roscoe, Enos, what can I do for you?”
“Um, Jesse, there’s no easy way to say this, possum on a gum bush—I can’t say this. Dang it Sheriff…” Enos began to cry. Daisy got up and put an arm around Enos.
“Well you wanna take a crack at whatever he was trying to say?”
“Enos, go in the car,” Roscoe ordered.
“Boy, what shook him up?” Enos nodded and walked over to his police car. He took out a hanky and began rubbing his damp face. Roscoe turned his attention away from Enos and stared at Jesse.
“We were chasing the boys and the car went off the cliff.” Jesse began laughing.
“That sounds like my boys alright.”
“They didn’t get out of the car and…”
“NO, you’re not saying what I think you are.” Jesse shook his head no as Roscoe’s head lowered. “No, it ain’t possible, it just ain’t possible. Not for my boys. Not Bo and Luke.”
“The explosions were massive—no one could have survived that.” The knife dropped out of Jesse’s hand. Dodger and Cooter looked at each other in shock. Daisy ran over to Jesse, hugging him tight. “I’m sorry, your boys are gone.”
“You’re in the wrong, Roscoe Coltrane…you have just got to be!” Cooter exclaimed.
“Yeah, we’ll go out and look and…” Dodger was saying.
“I have got men down there—so far, nothing,” Roscoe said.
“Oh Uncle Jesse!” Daisy exclaimed as her eyes filled with tears. She buried her face into her Uncle’s overalls. She clung onto them tight.
“I’m—I’m so sorry about this.”
“Roscoe…”
“No Daisy, I am really torn up about all of this. I know, I chased your boys a lot. I never ever wanted this to happen.”
“We all know that, Roscoe,” Jesse cut in.
“Jesse…”
“I know, I know.” Roscoe’s eyes began to tear up at the sight of the company he was with. Cooter even began crying. He don’t cry unless he means it.
“I gotta git back there.” Jesse nodded softly. He looked at the sun as it began to lower. “I better hurry, the boys will wanna close up soon.”
“I understand.” Roscoe got back into his car and honked, hoping Enos would back up. Jesse looked at Dodger and Cooter.
“We’re goanna find them,” Cooter commented.
“No boy, those guys are working on it.”
“Uncle Jesse, you can’t expect me to just sit here and wait for their funeral.”
“Cooter, you care about them boys just as much as I do but…”
“But what?” Jesse sighed softly to himself. He continued to hold onto Daisy tight. “You know what I’m talking about. You know that I am right. We have to find them.”
“Don’t you think I want to? I just don’t want you two carrying out their husks.”
“They’re alive!”
“How would you know?”
“Roscoe can’t be right about this one.”
“Leave it alone, Cooter…leave it alone.” Jesse stood up, still holding Daisy. “Haven’t you done enough?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I ain’t a scientist or anything but I know one thing, shine causes large explosions when heated too high.”
“You’re blaming me?”
“No—I don’t know. Look, I’m just upset alright? I am upset about all of this. I need some time to deal with this. You can understand that can’t you?” Cooter nodded softly.
“I’m sorry about all of this.”
“I know you are.” Jesse and Daisy walked into the house. Cooter began crying harder.
“He’s right you know.”
“Cooter, he’s just upset,” Dodger mumbled.
“No, he’s right. Why did I take the shine? Why did I lend the boys that car?”
“Don’t blame yourself big brother.” Cooter pulled away as Dodger tried to comfort him. The younger of the two boys rolled his eyes. “You know as well as I do that God takes those he wants.”
“But why Bo and Luke?”
“I don’t know, I wish I could answer that question but we can’t live in denial.” Cooter bit on his bottom lip. Dodger sighed. “No matter what happened to them, we can’t bring them back. Cooter, you can sit there and do the ‘what if’s’ all you want but we can’t pretend they’re alive.” Cooter sighed.
“Yeah perhaps you’re right.”
“I know I am.”
“Why weren’t you born first.”
“Simple, then I would be the crazy one.” Cooter put on a weak smile. “Can you try to look happy for one minute?”
“You don’t look happy.”
“Well I am the younger of us two brothers. I am not supposed to be the happy one.” Cooter rolled his eyes. “No, seriously, I am supposed to be the weepy one. The big brother roll…”
“Don’t poke fun.”
“I’m not trying to Cooter…it is the way I handle loss.” Dodger’s head lowered.
“Yeah I know—I shouldn’t be so quick to judge.” Cooter sighed. He shrugged. “I just don’t know what to do, Dodger, I really don’t.”
“I know big brother but I can tell you one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m here for you.”
“Dodge?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it—to anyone, I have a reputation to keep.” Cooter glared at his brother. “I’m trying to stop joking.”
“I know you are. Ever since you was knee high to a grass hopper you have been joking. What is goanna stop you now?”
“I have no idea cousin, maybe if you find a fortune teller…”
“You’re a nut.” The two got in the truck. “I mean that in the nicest way possible.”
“I know you do.” Dodger put on his seatbelt. Cooter followed his brother’s example. “We should just…”
“What?”
“Sit for a second I guess…I don’t really feel much like driving. After what happened to Bo and Luke…” Dodger shook his head. He couldn’t believe this. Cooter was really blaming himself for this whole ordeal.”
“FOR THE LAST TIME, you couldn’t have known.”
“I could have done something.” Cooter’s face went bright red as he struggled to hold in the emotions that were clouding his mind.
“Cooter…”
“No! I did this—I could have said no to Boss.” Dodger sighed. He shook his head. “I could have done something. NOW THEY ARE GONE! And nothing…nothing is goanna bring them back.”
“Cooter, you’re acting like a child.”
“I don’t wanna drive.”
“Excuse me?” He got out of the car. Cooter walked over to the passenger’s side. Dodger had his window unrolled. “I don’t like this side of you. Stop it, you’s scaring me.” He leaned partly on the lining of the window.
“Get out.”
“Cooter…”
“Are you daft and stupid? I said get out. You’re driving.” Dodger shook his head no. “I ain’t driving.”
“Then we’re staying here.” Cooter undid his brother’s seatbelt and ripped him out of the car. Now friends, he don’t deal with stuff really well, do he?
“Okay, I’m driving.” Dodger walked to the other side of the car and got in. He looked over at his brother who had his feet up on the seat, almost pouting. Dodger rolled his eyes. He put on his seatbelt. “Feet down.”
“No.”
“Don’t you be acting like—like a stupid young baby.” When Cooter didn’t listen, Dodger drove off into the sunset.
3
I bet y’all are wondering what’s up with Bo and Luke. Whelp, they’re just coming around up by the bushes—well Bo is anyway. He opened his eyes and rubbed them. Bo rubbed them frequently. He suddenly stopped, sighing. “Dang, I can’t see—must have happened when I slammed my head,” Bo mumbled to himself.
He turned to the right, feeling the extremely large rock that was once in the rear him. Bo shook his head. He felt the dirt. It was somewhat humid. The dirt felt like brown sugar in his hands. Bo hoped the feel of the dirt would give him some sort of clue to how far down they were.
He smelt the air. It smelt musky to say the least. Bo knew this meant trouble for both him and his cousin. He had to find Luke and fast. This young man was a human barometer. Bo Duke could smell out a flood in seconds or even just a spring shower. Either way, this boy knew something was goanna happen.
“Oh no, it is goanna rain soon. LUKE? WHERE ARE YOU LUKE?” Bo called out. He turned himself around, feeling what was in front of him. Sure enough he could feel wavy hair. To him it felt as if they were shot fishing line all bunched together. “Hey, can you hear me?”
The object began to moan. Bo could hear the ground rustling from under him. Sure enough it was Luke moving around which was a great relief to him. Bo knew that it was okay. If he was blind and Luke was there, they would be able to get out of here in no time.
“Where am I?” Luke questioned. Bo smiled at his cousin and soon broke out laughing. He shook his head and finally stopped. Luke seemed pretty serious looking at the time.
“I can’t believe you don’t remember what just happened,” Bo replied.
“What happened?”
“Luke, you do know that I didn’t mean it when I said I wanted your memory gone don’t you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean you ain’t doing this out of spite.”
“Who are you?” Bo’s eyes widened.
“Are you kidding me?” Luke didn’t say anything. Bo waited for a few seconds.
“About what?”
“Luke tell me you’re kidding me.”
“Who is Luke?”
“You are.”
“I am? I am Luke—so then who are you?” Bo shook his head.
“Dang, I go blind and you can’t remember your dog gone name! You can’t even remember my name.”
“My name is Luke?” Bo pounded on the ground hard.
“Great, we’re never goanna get home.”
“Who are you? Where’s home?” Bo cleared his throat and straightened up the top half of his body.
“You’re name is Luke Duke. I am your cousin Bo Duke. We’re in Hazzard County. We, that is you and I, were in an accident which is why I can’t see and you don’t know who you are.”
“So my name is…Luke?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s yours?”
“Bo.”
“And how do I know if you are who you say you are?”
“Luke, you’re just goanna have to trust me.” Bo sighed. “Look up at the clouds.”
“How do you know there are clouds if you can’t see?” Bo growled. Remember? He hates explaining himself. Bo will always hate it.
“I can smell the fragrance of the humidity in the atmosphere.” Luke took his hand and rolled it in front of Bo’s face. Bo of course, not being able to see, didn’t flinch. Luke stuck out his pinky and his index fingers.
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“I don’t know—six?”
“Story checks out. Now it is bad that we get stuck in the rain?” Bo nodded slowly. Luke rubbed his chin. “Well I just don’t see any way out of this. I don’t know where I am.”
“What do you see?”
“Oh like that’s goanna work.”
“Do you have any better ideas?”
“Nope.”
“What do you see?”
“The sun is setting. There is a big steep cliff up ahead.” Bo shook his head. Luke slammed his hands down on the ground. “What do you want from me?”
“No, it’s not you. Look, we’re probably about sixty miles away from the farm. We have to climb a steep hill to find shelter and to make things worse, I really can’t see.”
“So?”
“So? So I don’t know where to put my foot to get up there.”
“I do.” Bo smiled and rubbed his hands together. “What?”
“Even when you’re damaged goods you’re pretty clever. I guess Duke Smarts never run out of a person.”
“Thanks—I think.”
“First I think that we should umm…well make sure we’re not really badly hurt or anything.”
“I can’t remember anything, does that count?”
“Concentrate, Luke. Now, I know I have some scratches and so do you.”
“Oh yeah.”
“From falling down the large cliff into the ravine.”
“We fell into the ravine?” Bo shrugged and shook his head. He couldn’t believe this was happening. The Dukes always seemed to be in some sort of trouble. Now the real question was how they were going to get out of it. “What’s the matter now?”
“Never mind about that, just point me in the direction of the large dirt wall.” Luke grabbed onto Bo’s arms and pulled him there quickly. “Are we there yet?”
“What do you think?” Luke grabbed Bo’s hands, placing them on the soft, yet rocky, surface. “Okay, there’s a ledge—a small one to your left. Put your right foot on it.”
“Why right?”
“Just trust me will you?” Bo nodded his head. He slid his right foot until he found the left ledge. He placed it up there. “Now take your left hand and find the ridge sticking out.”
“Okay cousin.” Bo found the protruding piece of rock. He pulled himself up carefully, not sure of what was going on.
“Very good. Now, you’re going to put your right foot straight up.” Luke began climbing up behind him, continuing to give him directions while he moved up. They were almost at the top when Bo’s foot slipped. Luke grabbed his foot and placed it back on the ridge.
“Thank you so much, cousin.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Okay, I won’t.
“Now just put your hands on the top and pull yourself up.” Bo did as he said. He put his hands up and reached for his cousin. Luke put his hands up, grabbing Bo’s. “Here we go.”
“Careful there, Luke.” Bo pulled him up. Luke toppled on top of his cousin. “You’re heavy.”
While Bo and Luke get their wits together, let’s go into town and go and see Boss Hogg. He’s having a meeting you know with the Beaudries. I feel like running right now. Oh right, a balladeer has to explain things. I can’t run just yet.
Now, for all of those who are new to Hazzard County, let me enlighten you. The Beaudries have been in Tennessee almost as long as the Dukes have been over in Georgia. Unlike the Duke Boys, who fight for justice and the American way, the Beaudry Family is out there taking it by force.
Milo had a son—his name was Isaac Beaudry. He was actually called Junior or Icky for short. Most people knew him as Icky because of his awful sons. Now what was this meeting about? Well…
“You wanna sell me your moonshine?” Boss asked. Dang it Boss, I was goanna say that.
“Yes sir, the best moonshine this side of Tennessee,” Icky told Boss, proudly. Boss Hogg took a drink and almost immediately spit it out.
“May be the best in Tennessee but here in Georgia, it is the worst.”
“Are you insulting my shine?”
“No, your Moonshine is insulting me. Now get out of here and don’t come back.”
“You’re making a big mistake.”
“The only mistake was having you in my office.” Icky walked out and heard Roscoe talking. He hid behind the wall.
“No luck, huh? Well with the blast I saw, I do believe the Duke Boys are dead…yeah—we’ll send out a search party tomorrow. Thanks Gerry, bye,” Roscoe commented. Icky walked out. “Hey Icky, good meetin’ with the Boss?”
“Nah, but he ain’t heard the last of me,” Icky replied. He walked out of the building and jumped into the truck.
“What’s the matter Pa?” The first son asked.
“Nothing Milo—we’ll get that Hogg and tie him up by his grinds.”
“What about them Dukes? They foiled our plans the last three times.”
“BO and LUKE are dead as doornails, you won’t have to be worryin’ about them two. Now, we have to find a place to take over.”
“Where Pa?”
“Do I have to do all the thinkin’ around here?”
“Ah…”
“We’s goanna go and git a place on the outskirts.”
“Awesome.”
4
Back to Bo and Luke, since they are all firing interesting. It was about two hours after this funny little meeting that we saw with Boss Hogg. Well Bo and Luke were walking along…I suppose that ain’t very interesting but bear with me y’all.
All Luke could tell his cousin was there were trees. This of course didn’t tell Bo where they were at all. The clouds were still forming over head and they were loosing sunlight faster than a flea growing on a hound dog.
Now you can just imagine Bo’s delight. He didn’t really know what was going on. He was blind and couldn’t see. Luke was in the exact same pickle only he wasn’t blind…he had no memory.
“I just thought of something,” Bo announced unexpectedly.
“What?” Luke questioned.
“We need to keep my eyes clean.”
“What do you mean by us? They’re your eyes not mine.”
“You know what Luke, you wouldn’t be saying that if you had no memory.”
“How would you know, are you inside my head when I have my memory?”
“Because we’re close.”
“Oh don’t try to fool me with your shenanigans. I know some things.”
“Even if your memory is shot?”
“Oh yeah, even if my memory is shot.” Bo began laughing. “You set me up.”
“For good reasons.”
“Look, if I remember one thing it is that cousins aren’t very close.”
“Well we are. In fact we’re probably the closest cousins you have ever met. We shared laughs together. He have cried together. We have even fought side by side.”
“We’re that close.”
“When your Mom died, I was by your side.”
“My Mom died.”
“Yeah, your dad left us here.”
“Man…so if it wasn’t for my dad…we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“Luke, I wouldn’t want to ever think of that.” Bo grabbed his shirt and gave it to Luke. He examined the shirt carefully. “We’ll use this for my eyes.”
“I don’t want anything else happening to them. I mean—this should go down…the blindness I mean.” Luke still stared at the shirt.
“May I ask a question?”
“Fire away.”
“Nah, it’s dumb.”
“There are no dumb questions.”
“How is giving me your shirt going to keep your eyes clean?” Bo slapped his own head with the palm of his hand.
“That was a stupid question.”
“You just said…”
“Well I take it back.” Bo breathed out outrageously, making Luke stare at him instead of the shirt. “No I don’t, it wasn’t a stupid question.”
“It wasn’t?”
“No…it really wasn’t.”
“I thought it was.”
“Luke, I assumed that you knew and assuming makes an dunderhead out of you and me.”
“Yeah, I guess it does, doesn’t it?”
“Well, I want you to take the shirt and rip it into strips. We got to cover up my eyes with them.”
“Like a bandage?”
“Exactly.” Luke began to do as his cousin said.
“I ain’t tying all of these around you am I?”
“Just enough to cover my eyes.”
“How do you know if your shirt is clean?”
“I have no idea.”
“You know, I wish that we were somewhere else right now. I don’t really care where just anywhere but here.”
“Me too cousin, me too.” Someone was a walking up in the bushes and I don’t think it is the Easter Bunny. “I wish that I was home right now having some grits with Uncle Jesse.”
“Or anything to eat for that matter, I am starving.”
“Well after we’re done…” Suddenly from behind them, Bo put his hands up as did Luke.
“That Sheriff Coltrane thinks you’s dead,” Icky commented.
“Well to them we are,” Luke answered.
“I knew I could smell something fishy. It was your breath Icky,” Bo answered. He stood up tall. Luke grabbed the pieces of the shirt and shoved them in his pocket.
“Silence you ruffian,” Icky growled.
“You know as well as I do if it wasn’t for that gun, I would beat you right now.”
“Yeah I do.”
“So why are you here this time? Want to steal Boss’ money?”
“Actually yes, that is why we’re here. Not that you’ll be able to stop it once you’re tied up.”
“You won’t get away with this.”
“Stand up Luke Duke. I won’t stand for any refusal now.” Luke did as Icky asked. He stood up.
“Who is this?” Luke questioned.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Who are you?”
“This has to be a trick from the great Duke Boys. I know it is a trick.” Luke stared at Icky blankly. Icky’s eyes expanded out of shock of the young Duke boy. “Hey Bo, is he kidding me ain’t he? I mean Luke does know who I am right?”
“You’re an old man but I don’t know who you are.”
“This is a plot ain’t it? To try to make me let you boys go so y’all can fool me. I bet he’s doing this to make me look like a fool.”
“Yeah he’s kidding you,” Bo lied.
“I knew it.” Now do you know why Bo did that? I do. He didn’t want him to know how at risk they were. I wouldn’t want to either I mean really, they already have an advantage, a shot gun.
“Yep, you’re just too smart for us Dukes.” Luke walked over to Bo at a snail’s pace. Luke took hold of his cousin’s hand with care. Bo’s hand was placed on Luke’s shoulder.
“Why the heck did he do that? I mean stick your hand on his shoulder.”
“Moral support. I don’t care for a gun in my face.”
“I don’t care what you care for.”
“Good because I think you’re ugly and I don’t care for you much either.”
“You are rude, didn’t your Uncle ever teach you to respect your elders?”
“Only ones that deserve respecting.”
“Nah, he taught you better than that. What am I doing here squawking? There’s work to be done. Now git.” This was goanna be a long evening, don’t you think?
“We’re going!”
“No more tricks Luke Duke.”
“I wasn’t planning on it. Not when you’re pointing that thing at me,” Luke replied.
“Good thing.” Bo breathed a sigh of pure relief. He was so thrilled that Luke was able to at least show some of the old Luke Bo cared about.
Now I wonder what Icky has planned for them. You never know in Hazzard County what they are really goanna do to you. I guess if we did know, I would be out of a job huh?
5
Daisy and Jesse were looking through the pictures that were in the photograph albums. Daisy always loved looking at the pictures of the boys. She thought they were wonderful.
“This one here was after you two got back from the docs, after you found out you were staying,” Jesse mumbled. Daisy touched it with care. She sighed.
“I still can’t believe they’re gone,” Daisy replied. Jesse heaved heavily, exhorting all his breath out in one blow. “You know, I wish they could have been here…sitting here and staring at pictures.”
“Well some things weren’t meant to be. The lord takes us when he wants us. Oh, look at this one. This was when the boys first came to me when they were younger.” You could see Bo and Coy when they were younger. Coy had pulled Bo’s hair and the young kid, feeling the pain, was screaming.
“Were Coy and Bo always fighting?”
“Oh yeah, ever since I can remember—you know, sometimes, I would see a moment when they weren’t fighting. It was just for a moment you know. Then one would say something or do something to start it again.”
“Vance and Luke…”
“Luke and Vance fought the same way. It was funny, their little minds were always conflicting. You would wonder why.”
“I think I do wonder.”
“Well, I can’t answer that one Daisy girl. Bo and Vance didn’t get along either. Bo would hate how he acted towards Luke and wouldn’t talk to him.”
“And obviously, Luke didn’t really like how Coy was treating Bo.”
“Well yeah of course. You know, brothers are very touchy subjects.”
“How would you know?”
“You know, I may not have had a brother but I did have a cousin who was very territorial.” Daisy smiled. She shook her head. The tears started flowing down her face. “What is it, Daisy?”
“Oh Uncle Jesse, I miss them.” She buried her face inside her Uncle’s shirt as the rain started to fall.
“It is okay, baby.” Jesse began rubbed her hair slowly. “You know, I can almost commit to memory every detail when your Aunt Laurel died.” Daisy sat up.
“Uncle Jesse I’m…”
“Sorry?”
“Yeah, my problems were way less than yours.”
“Don’t you ever say that Daisy Duke, ever.” He sighed softly to himself. “No one’s problems are small—do you hear me? Not a person has small problems.”
“Yes sir.”
“Anyway, when I was sitting there thinking my life was over, that’s when family came through for me.”
“I don’t know…”
“Your cousins, Johnny and Tom, seemed to make life better. Every day we would do stuff as a family. Still, there were times…” Jesse wiped his face as tears rolled down his own face. He tried to hide it but couldn’t. “There were times when I would lay there and remember that she was gone.”
“I just pretend like Bo and Luke is out racing or taking on those bad guys like Icky and his sons.” Daisy shook her head. Jesse pulled out his hanky and passed it to his niece. “I don’t know, for some reason I don’t think they’re dead but the evidence…”
“We haven’t looked at it yet have we now?” Daisy’s face lit up as she wiped her tears. Jesse blew his nose on his shirt. “Daisy, remember what I told you…never assume until you looked at the facts?”
“Of course I do, Uncle Jesse.”
“Maybe, there might be a chance that they’re alive.” Daisy smiled. “You know as well as I do what kind of a law man Roscoe is. Maybe they missed something.” The thunder crackled in the sky. Daisy sighed.
“Well we won’t find it anymore, Uncle Jesse, all their prints will be washed away from the down pour tonight.” Jesse snapped his fingers, moving his arm in a half circle position at the same time.
“You know, you’re right.”
“I am?”
“Yeah and now I feel like a total idiot.”
“Why’s that Uncle Jesse?”
“Well kido, think about it. Instead of moping we could have been looking.” Just then, Jesse saw a set of headlights moving towards him. He stood up. “Wonder who that could be at this hour.”
“I don’t know.” As the car moved closer towards them, Jesse and Daisy walked inside, grabbing their coats. Daisy’s pink coat could be seen pretty well in the dark.
As they looked at the car, they noticed the lights on top of the police car. Roscoe walked out. Now friends, Roscoe may love money and he also may love a good scandal but when it came to times like these, he was formal and did his best.
“Hello y’all…umm, we looked through the wreckage—hardly anything was recognizable. The heat was so amazingly hot, we didn’t find even the steering wheel in there,” Roscoe mumbled. Daisy and Jesse stood there silent for a second. The rain poured on top of them.
“Roscoe, thank you for all your hard work,” Jesse said softly. He began walking away.
“Jesse, you’re very welcome.” Jesse stopped. He looked at Roscoe who literally had tired circles under his eyes. “I tried my absolute best. When we got back, we had them look all about the ravine. They weren’t there.”
“Yeah well, I suppose the lord has taken them to a place where no one will chase them anymore.”
“I got to umm…I got to go.” Roscoe got back into his car slowly. He closed the door behind him. “Mama is expecting me home tonight for dinner.”
“You drive safe now Roscoe.”
“I will do my best. I will see you in church Jesse?”
“Of course. You will come to Bo and Luke’s funeral won’t you now?”
“I would be honored to be there. Thank you so much.” He rolled up his window.
Daisy and Jesse walked back to the porch. They grabbed the albums from the excellent wooden planks that sat underneath the base of their feet. They didn’t speak a word to each other.
Over at Enos’ farm, you could see another person who was tremendously upset. His face sunk in. Enos sat by the window, staring at the rain as it walked down from the glass. He sighed softly.
Enos had a picture sitting in his left hand. It was of him, Bo, Luke and Danny. His eyes lowered on it from time to time just peeking at it. He still wished it wasn’t so. He wanted them to be well again.
Maybe walk into his farmhouse and have a talk with him. Many times, they would drag Enos out and take him fishing. Enos shrugged, sniffling. He wanted to do something with them but just couldn’t.
At the Garage, spirits weren’t too high either. Cooter and Dodger worked in almost total complete silence. Both men worked on the cars slower than usual. They looked out in the rain for a minute—seeing the same sky as Enos and the Duke family were staring at.
Dodger looked up at his brother for a second and then turned away. Cooter looked at Dodger and sighed. He looked back at his work. They seemed to want to hide their feelings but they still came out just the same.
Cooter cleared his throat, hoping to hear more than the noise of the wrenches clanging. Dodger looked up at their picture of Bo and Luke. Cooter was holding a giant fish along with Luke who had caught the fish. Dodger and Bo held up their small ones.
Even Roscoe who was driving home looked depressed. He had the radio broadcast playing in the background but suddenly turned it off. Roscoe seemed mortified. All he wanted to do was crawl up in a little ball.
Every person seemed to be experiencing the pains of loss. All the members of Hazzard wanted it to end. The rain just kept flowing and so did the tears.
6
The gloomy night had changed into a beautiful day and in the barn, Bo was struggling to get free from his ropes. Beside him was one of two twins. Luke was tied to another post. He had the other twin with him. Way far from the entrance was a friend of Jesse’s, Marvin Donnelly.
When Marvin’s wife died, they moved away from civilization. Marvin wanted to get as far away from the people of Hazzard as he could. The only people he still let near him was Jesse and his family who brought them groceries every week.
Marvin’s twins were pretty taken with Bo and Luke. Gina loved Luke and was determined to make him hers. Gail was sure Bo was the top choice. So when she was tied up next to Bo Duke, you better believe she was thrilled.
“Gail, can you grab my knife out of my boot?” Bo questioned.
“I would rather not,” Gail replied. Marvin snarled at his daughter. “Now Bo, I just changed my mind.” Bo pulled his leg up as high as he could. Gail grabbed the knife and passed it to Bo.
“What kid, just what do you think you’re goanna do with that?” Luke questioned.
“I think I am goanna get us out of here,” Bo answered.
“You’re blind…there are like four guys out there.” Luke sat up a little glaring at his cousin. “Besides that, you’re goanna cut yourself with that knife, Joe.”
“First off, the name is Bo.”
“Sorry about that.” Bo shrugged, signaling that the apology was accepted.
“Second of all, I ain’t goanna cut myself with a knife. I have been using a knife since I was two.”
“Yeah, sure you won’t.”
“No, I won’t cut myself. Believe me when I say this.”
“I guess I have to, I have no memory of you using a knife so I can’t judge you.”
“Lastly, being blind has nothing to do with taking on baddies.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“All I need are heights, I can take them all on if you want.”
“Prove it.”
“Alright I will. I am 6’4…tell me if they’re shorter or taller than me as they walk in.”
“Okay.”
“I only need help with one guy.”
“Who is that?”
“Have you ever seen a tree?”
“I saw a ton of them on the way up why?”
“Well, the rest of them are fairly short. However, the one guy is shaped like a tree. You’ll recognize him right away. He’s the only person I know who is like 7’1.” Bo was finally out of his ropes.
“How did you…”
“You got to trust me once in a while.” Bo felt for the ropes and undid every person’s bounds. The first of the Beaudry boys walked in, Casey.
“Shorter.” Bo punched him in the face and then hit him in the stomach. Marvin grabbed him and tied him up.
“HELP ME!” Casey exclaimed. Darry walked in and looked at his brother all tied up.
“Shorter,” Luke said again.
“Darry get me out of here.”
“Darry huh?” Bo questioned. He kicked him in the stomach and Marvin grabbed him, tying him up.
“Bo, you’re amazing,” Gail commented.
“Thanks Gail but we’re not done.” Bo sniffed the air. “Here comes Milo.” Sure enough, a man who was about 7’1 in height walked in. Luke walked beside Bo. “You wanna play a game Milo?”
“What kind of game?” Milo questioned.
“Red Rover.” Milo jumped up and down. Milo was a tall giant who had a short fuse. However, he loved games. Anything that involved play was definitely something Milo wanted to do.
“Oooo, goodie!” Bo grabbed his cousin’s hand. He began waving it back and forth.
“Red Rover, Red Rover we call Milo over.” As Milo began to run towards them, Bo and Luke let go and let him run into the barn post. He was knocked out instantly.
“That was genius…pure genius,” Gina announced.
“I agree with my children—you two are wonderful,” Marvin added.
“Well, I would love to stay and chat. I am sure you can take on Icky yourself. After all, you have a rifle in the haystack you keep for emergencies. We have to split now that the downpour has ended.”
“Yeah you do. Man if I thought my kids were dead I would go out of my mind. Look, I am sorry I can’t phone ahead.”
“You have no phone.”
“Yeah and Jesse came by two days ago with the groceries.” Marvin sighed softly. “You know kids, you two are welcome here any time you want.”
“Thank you sir.”
“Oh before you leave…” Marvin grabbed the first aid kit off the wall. “Take this with you. For your eyes Bo.” He put the kit in Luke’s hands.
“We’re off now.” This time, Marvin pointed them into the right direction before going in and tying up Icky. “We’ll be by for them when we get the General,” Bo called.
“Okay Bo Duke.”
“What do you think?” Luke asked.
“About what?” Bo questioned.
“Do you think he’ll be able to keep them all tied up?”
“Four posts and we took away their weapons. Marvin is a tough cookie and so are his girls.”
“Then why were they tied up when we got there?”
“Okay, no one is perfect Luke. They are strong though. Just not when they’re ransacked without warning—then they are weak.”
“You seemed to know them quite well. How good do I know them?”
“Very well, Luke, you know them very well.”
“Gail was looking right at you.”
“That Gail has a great kiss but I don’t know if I would ever date her.”
“You’re nuts do you know that?” Luke shrugged. “I don’t know what to think. Are you really my cousin?”
“Yeah Luke, I am really your cousin.”
“Okay, I’ll believe you only because I have to.” Now ain’t Bo and Luke Duke funny characters?
“You think I am lying?”
“Not exactly.”
“What does that mean?”
“Oh forget it.”
“Come on Luke, what do you mean?”
“Never mind, just drop it.” They kept on course. Oh don’t worry y’all don’t worry one little bit. They’re goanna get home as soon as they can. Hopefully they will get to the homestead sooner than later so that they can clear up the mess.
7
We’re goanna go to Boss Hogg’s house. Why? Well, we have to meet his wife don’t we now? Leila was pretty with short hair. She wasn’t a skinny mini. In fact, Miss Leila Hogg loved to her size. She didn’t worry about it too much.
Now Boss Hogg had just walked in the door. “JD, you dirty skunk. You have been hiding out in your office for three days,” Leila announced.
“No Pudding Lips, I…” Boss tried to say.
“Don’t you Pudding Lips me you white ball of marshmallow goo. Look, Jesse is your friend.”
“Correction, them Dukes are my enemies.”
“We used to go out with Laurel and Jesse all the time. Now suddenly you’re abandoning him in his time of need? Come on JD now you know I love them Dukes. You need to grow up! We’re paying for the wake.”
“What? No, that means…”
“Yes, we’re spending money JD, it ain’t a crime to spend money.”
“Why did I get married?” Boss mumbled to himself.
“I heard that Jacob-Daley Hogg. Do you want me to sleep in the same room with you again?” Boss Hogg’s eyes shifted.
“Okay, I’ll pay for it, I will.”
“Even snacks for his company.”
“But…”
“And a little something to drink.”
“But…”
“And shake a leg and go over there and give this card to them.” Leila handed the card to him. “Heaven forbid you do anything nice on your own conscious. No, your wife has to push you.”
“Leila…”
“Now git!” Boss did as his wife told him to do. Now she truly is the only one who can control him.
Meanwhile, over on the other side of the country, Bo and Luke had just stopped. Luke was putting real bandages on Bo’s face.
Bo smiled. He couldn’t believe how far they had come.
“Are you sure you’re doing this right?” Bo questioned his cousin. Luke shrugged but then realized Bo didn’t see it.
“I don’t really know. You said to put the patches on after cleaning the eyes and then…” Luke began.
“Wrap with gauze. How is it you can remember that but not you’re your name?”
“My name is Luke right?”
“Uh huh.”
“Your name is Bo.”
“You have got it.”
“Yes!” Luke applied the last little bit of tape and they were ready to go. “Oh and I have an Uncle Jesse and a cousin Daisy. My Dad is Cameron.”
“You have been listening.”
“Yeah just one problem, I still don’t remember who that are.”
“It will come back with time.” Luke gave Bo a hand up.
“I wish it would come now. You have no idea how scary it is not to know who you really are.”
“But I…”
“Bo, there is only so much that you can tell me.” Bo sighed. Luke shook his head as they began to walk again.
“I know Luke, I know that I could never give you your memory back and it hurts me.”
“I know it does and I’m sorry for what I said. Now, tell me about my brother.”
“Well…you always said he looked like one of those rich snobs.”
“Really?” Luke began laughing. “Do we get along?”
“Never have—never will. Vance always thinks he’s right which is almost the same way you think, Luke.”
“So that’s why we clash? And am I annoying?” Bo began laughing.
“No, you have never been.” Luke smiled. He scratched his head. “Together in Hazzard County we have learned so much and been through just too much together.”
“So we go through a lot of things like this one?”
“Why do you think I don’t panic? You know, trouble is our middle name. You wouldn’t believe how many times we have been in Hazzard jail.”
“We’re criminals? Maybe I don’t wanna remember this past.”
“No, nothing like that.”
“I am no expert but if you’re in prison doesn’t it mean that you have done something wrong?”
“Luke, this is Hazzard County. Mice chase cats sometimes. Everything can be one way and the next in a split second. We fight the system.”
“Ain’t the system working for us?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why did we move here?”
“Your Dad left us here so he could go back to the war.”
“Why? From what I have seen so far, this is a war zone.” Bo began to laugh. He shook his head.
“You’re funny, you know that?” Luke and Bo continued walking. As they approached the bridge that they would usually go to get home, Bo and Luke stopped.
“What is the matter?”
“I hate to tell you this Bo but…”
“What?”
“Uh…”
“Stop and just tell me Luke. I ain’t a baby.”
“The bridge is out.”
“That’s just great. After all we have already been through in the past two days…”
“Hey, you’re supposed to be the positive one here, Bo.”
“How can you be positive when everything is going wrong?”
“Come on, I need you to be a happy person. I don’t know what to do anymore than you do.” Luke began laughing.
“What is so funny?”
“You should have seen those boys’ faces when they found out you were blind. I just about gave my ghost, I was laughing so hard.” Bo began to express his delight too, smiling away. “Ah ha! I knew you were having fun.”
“I am not.”
“You are, admit it.”
“Okay, maybe I am but how are we goanna get over this bridge.”
“Do we have to?”
“What? Go over the bridge?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh huh, basically if we don’t—it will take us three more days to get out of this mess.”
“We need to go home don’t we?”
“Yeah, we really do. We have family that probably thinks we have kicked the bucket. Enos is goanna be going crazy. Cooter is goanna loose his top because his moonshine was in there and that made the explosion bigger.”
“Who is Enos?”
“Besides me, he is your best friend.”
“How about Cooter?”
“He is a friend of the family. He is almost family which is why we include him in our adventures.”
“That is awesome. Okay, we should get back to ease their pain. What’s the plan, cousin?”
“Well I can’t swim because—I don’t know where I am going. The water is about up to my chest so technically I don’t have to swim.”
“And I am up to your chest so I will.”
“Unless Luke, you want a piggy back ride. Might be easier for me to have your eyes to know where I am going.”
“Done deal, I think that would be great then one of us gets wet only.”
“True.” Bo took off his jeans and shirt. He handed them to Luke.
“What are these for?”
“Well if I am goanna get soaked I’ll get colder if I am in jeans. Where as if I take the greater part of my outfit off, I wouldn’t freeze my tail feathers.”
“Totally makes sense.” Bo hunched downward. Luke held onto the clothes and the first aid kid as tight as he could manage. He hopped up on his cousin’s shoulders. “Okay now, go straight. There is a bit of a curvature. Walk downward.”
“Okay.” Bo kept one foot directly in front of the other. He felt it as he went into the water.
“Do you like the feel of the rocks on your feet or something?”
“Yeah I do.”
“Why?”
“I can’t explain it.”
“Why not?”
“Well, you like it too.”
“I would have thought it hurts.”
“Having the land under you is the most wonderful feeling in the world.”
“You think so?”
“No Luke, I know so. You love this county. You love every bit of it. You like fixing the General Lee.”
“I help a General?”
“No, he’s our car…the General Lee is the most famous car in all of Hazzard County.”
“I see.” They were half way across the water already. Well folks, they’re doing pretty good ain’t they? We’ll have to see what happens next won’t we now.
8
Boss Hogg stopped his Grand Torino in front of the Duke farm with a bunch of supplies. He opened the door without knocking. Daisy and Jesse were preparing the last batch of supplies that JD had brought for them.
Daisy was just taking out some small munchies for the funeral tomorrow. Jesse was decorating the front room. Boss Hogg cleared his throat. Daisy and Jesse both turned around, looking at their unexpected guest.
“I brought some more streamers for their memorial,” Boss Hogg commented.
“Thank you JD, that’s very thoughtful of you and Leila to think of us in our time of need,” Jesse replied. Boss smiled solemnly. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just thinking of Laurel’s memorial service…how pretty she was in the dress. She was quite a woman. You were always the lucky one when it came to love.”
“You and Leila were made for each other.”
“We may be enemies Jesse, but our history goes a long way back. I have known you since you were sixteen years old.”
“Feels like longer.”
“In those thirty six years you have helped me and ruined me. I have never hated you once.”
“I guess even enemies can adore each other.” There was a knock at the door. It was Cooter. Daisy opened the door for him. He took off his hat.
“Mr. Duke, Miss Duke…I am sorry to disturb you,” Cooter commented.
“Cooter, don’t you start talking like that now, you’re family,” Daisy said.
“After what I did…”
“What did you do, Cooter? What the heck did you do?” Jesse questioned.
“Besides ruining my moonshine,” Boss grumbled.
“Yes, you see, it was his fault.”
“Yeah it was my fault—wait a minute…now no Jesse, I take that back…it wasn’t my fault.”
“JD, I ain’t blaming anyone. Not Cooter and certainly not you. If Bo and Luke were supposed to live then they would have.”
“So you forgive me then Mr. Duke?” Cooter questioned.
“Oh call me Jesse!”
“Yes sir, Uncle Jesse.”
“I ain’t your Uncle Jesse!” Daisy began laughing. “Oh you think that’s funny do ya? Well I tell you, I have enough people calling me Uncle Jesse. I have Coy and Vance and Daisy.”
“What’s one more?” Daisy questioned.
“It is the principal!”
“Uncle Jesse, relax.”
“Yeah Daisy’s right. Uncle Jesse, relax,” Cooter commented.
“I am under enough pressure with having the funeral and you’re telling me to relax?” Jesse questioned.
“Although if I didn’t give Cooter the hooch they may have still gone over the edge,” Boss contemplated.
“Boss would you stop thinking about it?”
“Jesse, I can’t. My sense of right and wrong is goanna be aching until I make emends.”
“You all are nutty.”
“What do you mean by calling me nutty?”
“You are. No one can accept that the lord wanted to take the boys. I can accept it why can’t you?”
“I guess we can.”
“It’s just hard,” Daisy commented.
“Very hard,” Cooter added.
“You know, Bo and Luke weren’t just my cousins—they were my friends. They were the ones that made it possible for me to stay in Hazzard County.”
“Bo and Luke helped me discover my roots. They showed me what being in Hazzard is all about. Camaraderie and understanding—well they taught me that and how to control my fury…when I have to.” Everyone laughed.
“Well when Bo, Luke and Vance first came here, they were angry. They have grown so much in the past two years I can hardly believe it,” Jesse cut in. Everyone looked at Boss Hogg. He smiled.
“They can foil the best of my plans?” JD said. Everyone stared at him. “FINE! Deep down I do care about them blasted boys.”
“That’s the spirit JD.”
“That’s Boss Hogg to you Dukes. Now I have to go.” Boss Hogg can’t hide his feelings too well can he? He got back in his Grand Torino and went about his way.
9
“This place—it looks so recognizable for some reason. There’s a white house with two floors, it is huge. A barn painted red and one not painted at all,” Luke mumbled.
“Yep that’s the Duke farm.”
“The Duke farm?”
“Uh huh.”
“It still has an outhouse.” The one that wasn’t painted…” Bo began.
“We left it that way to…to preserve our heritage.” Luke smiled so far, I thought it looked like his mouth was goanna fall off. “My goodness, I remember! I can remember every single detail! YES! I remember.”
“Yeah?”
“Bo, ask me anything. Ask me about how we helped Daisy. Ooo, ask me how we got on probation.”
“How did we get on probation?”
“Moonshine right?”
“That’s right!”
“YEEE HAW…oh my goodness, Uncle Jesse…the accident.”
“Yeah, he’s goanna be worried half out of his mind.”
“Bo—thanks for everything. Thank you for being such a wonderful cousin. A wonderful friend couldn’t have done better.”
“I’m just glad that we’re back. What else do you see?”
“Dang, masses of cars are sitting outside—our wake probably. We got to go in there and stop it.”
“Ah Luke, you forget that they think we’re dead.” Luke walked Bo up to the window. “You know if we walk in there, they are goanna freak right out.”
“The dead have arisen…like in Grandpa’s story? Where his cousin screamed?”
“Yeah—exactly.”
As Bo and Luke thought of how to crash the party, Jesse Duke was greeting people inside. He walked into the kitchen to see how Daisy was doing when out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luke’s head out of the corner of his eye. He turned and faced the window, staring at the two boys.
Jesse grabbed his red hat and put it on. He walked outside. The boys didn’t even notice him. Why? Well Bo was facing the direction that Jesse was standing.
“So what? Do we say something like: I am the ghost of Christmas past?” Bo questioned his cousin.
“Bo we’re not trying to scare them…only spring that we’re alive and not so very dead,” Luke replied.
“Define not so very dead.” Luke began laughing. Jesse cleared his throat. Luke turned around. “Who is there?” Luke smiled but didn’t answer. “Luke don’t leave me in the dark here…who is there?”
“Bo, I love you,” Jesse mumbled.
“Uncle Jesse!” Luke went to go help Bo to his Uncle. “No, let me be. I want to do this on my own.”
“Bo, listen to my voice.” As Jesse spoke Bo walked closer and closer. “Keep coming Bo. You are such a special young man. I missed you both so terribly.” Bo reached out for his Uncle, he grabbed him and hugged him.
“I missed you too.”
“How did this happen?”
“When we jumped out I hit my head on the rock.”
“I am glad to see Luke okay.” Luke ran to his Uncle, holding onto him.
“Well actually, I lost my memory for a spell. It was seeing the farm that brought it all back,” Luke replied. Jesse’s eyes filled with tears. Bo felt one on his head as his Uncle pressed both boys close.
“No matter, you’re home. Home you should stay.”
“Uncle Jesse, we missed you too.” Suddenly the door opened. Daisy stood there in total shock her eyes wide open.
“Never leave me again.” This time Luke was facing the right way.
“Now Daisy, don’t scream.” Jesse let go of his two cousins. He looked at his niece.
“Are you okay Daisy?” Bo asked. A smile rolled across her face. She ran back in the house.
“Hey y’all, Bo and Luke they ain’t dead! They’re outside,” Daisy exclaimed. Every one began mumbling to each other. Well that is all but Danny, Cooter, Enos, Roscoe and Boss Hogg. They all ran out to where Bo and Luke were standing. The crowd followed right after them.
“Bo!” Enos and Danny screamed at the same time. Bo touched the air, trying to find the voice. Enos and Danny already had him in a bear hug.
“Where were you?” Danny asked.
“What were you thinking?” Enos asked.
“We thought you was dead.”
“We all did.”
“Woe! Hardly get a word in,” Bo laughed. On the same end, Luke was getting similar treatment to Bo.
“I am so sorry if I had remembered about that moonshine…” Cooter began.
“Forget it. I am here ain’t I? Stop worrying,” Luke answered.
“Told ya big brother,” Dodger commented.
“Hey Dodger, this means I get the work on the General for free though.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Totally on the house,” Cooter replied.
“Welcome back Luke.”
“Great to be here, you have no idea how great.” Now friends, let’s talk about particulars because you wanna know. Does Bo Duke ever get his sight back? Of course he does. Full and clear in a week.
So yes, everything goes back to normal after that. Well that is if there truly is a normal…in Hazzard County.
THE END