by: Kate Matthews

Ye Ol’ Disclaimer: Characters such as the Dukes, Emma Tizdale, and Cooter Davenport belong to their creator – the genius – Gy Waldron. However, any other characters (ie. Earl Jennings and Jake Whittley) are mine and permission must be asked before using them and all other future characters that I can crank out of my ever-active imagination.You can reach me, or tell me what you think of my stories, by e-mailing:Kmatt81@hotmail.com Or Kmatt@home.com

March, 1975…It was a bright, beautiful, Friday afternoon in Hazzard County, and
everyone in town was gathered at the Boar’s Nest. Every Friday, the Hazzard County Post
Office hands out special mail at the Boar’s Nest, overseas mail from the men fighting in
Vietnam. Now the reason for this mail being delivered at the Boar’s Nest, instead of the
post office, was because it was delivered directly from Military Services in Atlanta.
Everyone in Hazzard knew when the standard Army green jeep would come into town,
and everyone would try to pile into the Post Office at once, eager for letters from their
kin fighting in the war. It got to the point of overwhelming for postmistress Emma
Tizdale, so town council to decided it was best to distribute any overseas mail in a bigger
place, like Hazzard County’s local watering hole.
The Boar’s Nest was pack, as usual for Friday afternoons, and the Dukes were
settled at a table close to the bar, with neighbors of theirs, the Jennings’.Bo Duke, who
was weeks shy of his eighteenth birthday, literally sat on the edge of his chair as people’s
names were called to pick up their mail.
“Take it easy, Bo.” Jesse called to his nephew. “Luke’s letter ain’t goin’ nowhere’s,
so just settle down.”
“But Uncle Jesse,” Bo looked towards Jesse with bright, eager eyes. “We ain’t
heard from Luke in weeks, and his tour of duty should be up soon. Maybe this time we’ll
be able to find out when he’s comin’ home for good.”
Jesse let out a small sigh. He hoped his younger nephew was right, that Luke
would write this time, and say when he’d finally come home. It had been three long years
for the Dukes, since Luke was drafted into the Marines. Jesse prayed every evening,
before going to bed, for his eldest nephew’s safe return. He loved his nephews and niece
Daisy as if they where his very own, since he raised them from the time they were all just
little tikes.
“I’m hopin’ to get word from my boy too.” Earl Jennings told Jesse. “He ain’t
writtin’ in almost two months.”
“I’m sure everything’s alright with Virgil,” Jesse reassured, “sometimes mail gets
lost, or sent to the wrong place. I once got a letter from Luke that was four months old.”
“Must have taken ten years off your life, eh Jesse?” Earl smiled.
Jesse nodded. “I admit to countin’ grey hairs, every time I’ve had a close call with
Luke, but Bo en’ Daisy take it even harder. It ain’t been easy on the kids, since Luke left.
Bo was nearly fifteen at the time, he felt like he’d lost his best friend. Daisy…she don’t
like to talk much about Luke, almost as if she’s frightened to. With Daisy, some times it’s
as if she’s a tryin’ to forget Luke ever existed.”
“It’s been tryin’ for Marge,” Earl nodded. “We’ve already lost two boys.”
Jesse patted Earl’s back, as his friend swallowed a lump that had formed in his
throat. Jesse remembered the time when Earl and Marge lost two of their four sons,
during the Polio epidemic, twelve years ago. Jesse remembered also that they had nearly
lost Bo then, too, but thankfully he recovered fully.
Jesse was lost in thought when Emma Tizdale, the Postmistress, called out their
name.
“Duke!” Miss Tizdale called out into the crowd. Bo bailed out of his chair so fast
he nearly knock it and his cousin Daisy over, who had been sitting right next to him.
“Take it easy, Bo!” Daisy called out after him.
Bo made his way through the noisy crowd and picked up two pieces of mail. The
handwriting on both envelopes was easily recognizable as Luke’s. Bo’s eyes lit up as he
gave out a laugh and weaved his way back to his family’s table. Bo began tearing into the
envelope that had been addressed specifically to him. Luke always sent two letters,
addressing one to Jesse and Daisy, and the other to Bo. That’s because Luke told more
personal things that he could only tell to his younger cousin. Daisy and Jesse knew how
the boys shared things with each other that they never would with another living soul.
Even now, when Luke was out east, he and Bo still told each other their most private
secrets.
Jesse was halfway through the letter addressed to he and Daisy, with Daisy
impatiently reading over her Uncle’s shoulder. Suddenly, Daisy’s eyes watered with
fresh-breaking tears, and a huge smile spread across her face. “He’s comin’ home!” Jesse
cheered happily. Daisy laughed out loud for what felt like the first time in three years, it
had surprised her Uncle and younger cousin.
“My letter doesn’t say that,” Bo frowned.
“Don’t worry, honey” Daisy reached out and hugged Bo, “he probably wrote your
letter before he found out, or he forgot to mention it, seein’s how he wrote it in ours
already.”
“How could he forget about comin’ home?” Bo still frowned
“It don’t matter, Bo,” Jesse waved a dismissing hand. “All that matters is that
Luke’s comin’ home, and that atleast we all know about it.”
Bo shrugged. “You’re right, Uncle Jesse.”
Jesse chuckled as he read some more. “And it looks like he should be home in
time for your graduation too, Bo.”
Bo smiled as he carefully folded his letter from Luke and put it back in the
envelope. He hadn’t finished reading it yet, but was too excited at the news to continue.
Bo would read it later before he went to bed.
Just before leaving the Boar’s Nest, Jesse turned his attention back to Earl
Jennings.
“Earl?” Jesse asked.
Earl looked up with sad old eyes. “Nothin’, Jesse…I still ain’t heard nothin’ from
Virgil.”
The smile faded from Jesse’s face, as he had been about to tell his friend the good
news about Luke.
“I’m sure everythin’s fine, Earl,” Jesse tried to sound confident.
“Now I gotta go home en’ tell Marge,” Earl muttered as he drank to the bottom of
his beer glass in one gulp. Earl wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and picked up
his hat. Standing up to his full height to meet his friend’s gaze, he asked,”What am I
gonna tell Marge this time, Jesse?” Earl put on his hat and slowly made his way to the
door.
Jesse was left standing there, with no words, his niece and nephew stood quietly
behind him, waiting to leave.
“By the way, Jess,” Earl stopped before heading outside. “It’s good to hear about
Luke. You all have a good afternoon now.”
The door closed behind Earl Jennings leaving the Dukes exchanging somber
glances.
The Dukes returned to their farm near suppertime, and were surprised to see their
mechanic friend, Cooter Davenport, waiting by his tow truck in front of the farmhouse.
“Hey there!” Cooter smiled.
“Hey Cooter, guess what!” Bo called out as he leapt out of Jesse old pickup.
“Good news?” Cooter asked.
“Yeah, Luke’s comin’ home!” Bo laughed as he jumped all over his friend. Cooter
and Bo engaged each other in a massive bear hug. “Yeeeeeeeeahooooooo!” Cooter
Yelled.
“C’mon you three!” Jesse called out to Cooter, Daisy, and Bo “Let’s have us an ol’
fashioned Duke celebration. I’m gonna make up some of my homemade crawdad bisque!”
“We’re right behind you, Uncle Jesse!” Daisy replied as all three followed Jesse
into the house.
Jesse, Bo, and Daisy were eager to get to church that Sunday; in order to put in a
prayer of thanks before services began. Parishioners of the Hazzard Southern Methodist
Church began to file quietly into their pews, as the organist played soft, cheery church
music. Bo and Daisy were already seated, but Jesse waited outside a bit longer for the
Jennings’. He hadn’t heard from Earl all weekend, and worried something might have
happened. Organ music, signaling the start of Sunday service, had begun to play so Jesse
headed inside to join Bo and Daisy.
After church, Jesse caught up with one of his friends, Jake Whittley. Jake lived
closer to the Jennings, and Jesse wanted to know if Jake had heard anything since Friday.
“I saw Earl that night,” Jake sighed as he told Jesse of what became of their
friend. “I heard that there had been no word on Virgil still, en’ I wanted to go en’ talk to
Earl.”
“Well did you?” Jesse asked, his eyes narrowing on Jake. ”
I didn’t get the chance to, no.” Jake frowned. “That’s because when I reached the
property, there were a man dressed in military greens, standin’ on Earl’s front porch. I
heard Marge just sobbin’ away, nearly screamin’ like a banshee. I knew that the fella
standin’ on the porch wasn’t there makin’ a house call.”
“Dear Lord…” Jesse stood there in shock. “First Elias en’ Sy, now Virgil…”
“Their family done-just about all fallen apart, Jesse,” Jake replied. “Earl took
Marge en’ Davis out to Marge’s sister’s place in Orange County, early the next mornin’.
They said they couldn’t stand to be in that house a minute longer. God only knows when
they’ll be back.”
“En’ here I was,” Jesse began, “thankin’ the good Lord for soon sendin’ Luke home
to us, en’ prayin’ for Virgil’s safe return.”
Almost makes you feel like it ain’t worth it no more.” Jake replied.
“Not me,” Jesse growled, “Prayin’ is all I can do, while Luke and the other boys
from Hazzard are out there, fightin’ that terrible war. And I believe that God answers
them prayers…one way or another…”
“Well I beginin’ to think other wise for the moment, Jesse,” Jake began. “See I’ve
been down this road before myself. I was just like young Davis Jennings, during World
War II. All my brothers went off to war at the same time, but none of them came home,
even after all the prayin’ I did. God sure does have a funny way of answerin’ them
prayers, Jesse.”
Jesse was left standing on the church steps, a little agitated, while Jake, equally
agitated, headed off down the street.
Jesse was quiet as he drove his niece and nephew home from church. At first,
Jesse was thinking of what Jake Whittley said, about losing all his brothers, just like
young Davis Jennings had lost all his brothers. Jesse had lost brothers of his own. The
Dukes were once a proud family of nine boys and two girls, born to Joseph and Minnie
Duke. Out of Jesse’s eight brothers (him being the middle of the boys), only three others
now lived, plus his two sisters, Lavinia and Elizabeth. The other five brothers, including
Bo, Luke, and Daisy’s father’s, died from either accidents or illnesses. Jesse too
remembered how he prayed for all of the brothers he lost, only to be rewarded by
attending their funerals.
“Uncle Jesse?” Daisy asked, breaking the silence. “What happened between you
en’ Mr. Whittley this mornin’?”
Jesse kept his eyes on the dusty dirt road ahead of him.
“Yeah, en’ what happened to the Jennings’? I didn’t see em’ in church,” Bo added
“That’s because Earl took his wife and son out to his sister-in-law’s, out in Orange
County. That’s what Jake Whittley en’ I were talkin’ about. ”
“What happened?” Daisy asked.
“Virgil Jennings won’t be comin’ home, baby…” Jesse replied somberly
A small gasp was heard from Daisy, “Y-you mean…”
Jesse nodded. Bo closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “When did they find out?”
Bo asked.
“Sometime after Earl left the Boar’s Nest, last Friday.” Jesse replied. There was
silence the rest of the way home.
Two weeks later, Jesse went into town to do some grocery shopping, and saw Earl
Jennings coming out of Rhubottom’s Store.
“Earl!” Jesse called out as he strode over, with an armload of groceries.
“Hey Jesse…” Earl smiled weakly. “I’m glad I got the chance to find you here.”
“It’s good to see you back, Earl,” Jesse smiled. “How’s the Mrs.?”
Earl shook his head. “Not too good, Jesse. Marge had a nervous breakdown, ’bout
three days after we arrived at her sister’s.”
Jesse’s eyes widened in shock as Earl continued. “Anyway, what I wanted to talk
to you about, Jesse, is that I don’t reckon Marge en’ I will be returnin’ to Hazzard.
Atleast…not for a long time.”
Jesse just nodded. “There’s somethin’ you want me to do?”
“Yeah,” Earl replied. “I need you to keep an eye on the place, atleast until Marge
is well enough to decide what’s best for us to do next. Right now, she don’t wanna come
home because she says there’s too many bad memories. Me en’ Davis will be by, now and
again, to pick up a few things.”
Jesse nodded sadly. “Don’t worry, Earl, I’ll keep an eye on your place. You just go
take care of you kin.”
“I really appreciate this, Jesse,” Earl smiled faintly. Jesse patted his friend on the
shoulder. “You know somethin’, Jesse, what the hardest part about this is?” Earl asked,
just as Jesse was about to leave.
“What’s that, Earl?”
“It’s been two weeks, en’ they ain’t even sent my boy’s body home yet. Until then,
we ain’t got nothin to lay our son to rest…” Earl slowly walked back over to his car, got
in, and drove away.
Jesse gazed up at the blue afternoon sky, and wished that Luke would come home
sooner.
April, 1975…
Bo woke up rather early this morning and did his chores. He had them done just
before his Uncle started to make breakfast.
“What’s gotten into you this mornin’?” Jesse asked his nephew, as he sipped his
coffee.
“Have you forgotten, Uncle Jesse? It’s my birthday today.” Bo grinned lop-sidedly.
“No, I ain’t forgotten, Bo.” Jesse smiled. “It’s just that I usually have to put a stick
of dynamite under you to get you movin’ in the mornin’. You don’t ever do your chores
this early, not even on your birthday.”
Bo took in a deep breath and let it out again. “I dunno, I just feel like something’s
gonna happen today, like maybe something from Luke.”
Jesse glanced at the calendar and saw that today was a Friday. “Well don’t let that
distract you from your school work,” Jesse cautioned. “Birthday or no, school comes first,
then mail call at the Boar’s Nest, then beer with your friends afterwards.”
“Yes sir,” Bo smiled widely, as he realized that his eighteenth birthday meant he
was old enough to drink beer at the Boar’s Nest now.
Jesse called Daisy to the table, and once she was ready, Jesse served up breakfast.
“Eat your breakfast,” Jesse chuckled as he put a plate of fried eggs and ham in front of his
nephew.
With Bo off at school, and Daisy in town to pick up some feed, Jesse was left to
tend to the animals. Daisy returned in time to make lunch for her and her Uncle, and just
as they were about to sit down and eat, Jesse heard a vehicle coming up the main road.
“Sounds like we’ll be gettin’ company.” Jesse muttered. Daisy nodded and got up
to look out the kitchen window above the sink. What Daisy saw coming up the road was
not just any ordinary company, and it made her heart beat thunder like the hooves of
stampeding horses.
Bo counted down the seconds until the clock in his history class read ‘three
o’clock’. The bell rang, Bo gathered all his belongings, and he and a bunch of his friends
made a beeline for the door. Bo and his friends got a ride to the Boar’s Nest, which is
were Bo usually headed most Fridays, meeting up with Jesse and Daisy who were usually
already there. But they were not there today.
“Wonder were Uncle Jesse and Daisy are at?” Bo frowned. “They’re always here
for mail call.”
“Wouldn’t worry about it too much, Buddyro.” Cooter walked over, handing Bo a
glass of beer.
“Thanks Cooter.” Bo smiled. Cooter raised his glass. “That one’s on me. Happy
Birthday.” Bo raised his glass and smiled before taking a sip.
Bo was only a little concerned when he didn’t see Jesse or Daisy at the Boar’s
Nest. Again, he was disappointed when no mail had come from Luke, and still no sign of
Daisy or Jesse. After two beers and two games of pool with Cooter and some other
friends, Bo decided to call home.
“Hey, Uncle Jesse, where you en’ Daisy been at?” Bo asked as his Uncle answered
the phone.
“Bo, I think you should come home now.” Jesse’s voice sounded tired and weak
on the other end.
“Uncle Jesse…what’s wrong?” Bo asked, the sense that something was terribly
wrong, gnawing at his stomach.
“Me en’ Daisy were gonna wait ’til you got back to tell ya…we didn’t wanna ruin
your birthday gathering with your friends.”
“Uncle Jesse…what’s happened?” Bo asked again, more frightened than ever.
“It’s best you come home before I tell you – ”
“No!” Bo cut Jesse off. “Uncle Jesse, I ain’t a kid no more, now tell me what’s
wrong.”
There was silence on the other end of the line, as Jesse tried to put it all into
words for his youngest nephew. “Bo…there ain’t no easier way to tell you this…we was
visited this afternoon by an officer of the United States Marine Corps.”
“Luke!” Bo’s voice caught in his throat.
“Luke’s been reported missin’ in action, Bo…I’m sorry…”
Bo felt numb all over, and all time seemed to stop. Luke was not only his favorite
boy-cousin, but also his best friend. Bo even went so far as to think of Luke as more of a
big brother. “M-missin’…” Bo repeated as if he hadn’t heard the first time.
“Bo…” was all Jesse could say
“I-I’m comin’ home,” Bo answered softly, and hung up the phone.
Bo was still numb from shock as he went over to where Cooter was sitting, with
the rest of their friends.
“Hey birthday boy! Where you been?” Cooter asked. Then Cooter saw the look
on Bo’s face. “Hey Bo, everythin’ alright with Jesse en’ Daisy?”
Bo still wouldn’t answer.
“Bo? You okay, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Um…Cooter, c-could you take me home, please?” Bo asked trying to maintain
his composure.
“But the party’s just started…” Cooter protested.
“Cooter, please!” Bo snapped.
Cooter downed the last of his beer and stood up. “No problem, buddy.”
“Hey y’all,” Bo called out to the rest of his friends, “sorry I have to leave, but
thanks alot for been’ here.” Bo’s friends all nodded and said ‘good-night’ as Bo and
Cooter left. On the way home, Bo told Cooter everything.
Somewhere in the Vietnam jungles…
Sergeant Luke Duke had never felt so miserable and helpless as he did at this
moment. He and his platoon had been ambushed in the jungle, just outside of a small
village. The ambush happened in the dead of night, Luke led his men in to take over the
village. Luke was so sure he had everything figured out, but in the cover of darkness, the
enemy struck out with rapid gunfire. There were close to thirty men under Luke’s
command, with reinforcements on the way, but they were too late. Now Luke and fifteen
surviving members of his platoon were prisoners of war.
There were close to fifty P.O.W’s in the tiny cell that Luke was in. And more men
were held in other crowded cells through out the camp. Muffled noises and soft moans
emanated from wounded soldiers. The rank odor of blood, vomit, and feces assailed
Luke’s nostrils as he sat huddled, by himself, in a corner. Luke sighed and tilted his head
back, he was covered head to toe with mud, and his combat fatigues were stained with
the blood of one of his soldiers…that soldier had been a boy-hood friend of Luke’s from
Hazzard. Luke sighed again as he gazed up out of the cell at the stars above him. Luke’s
mind wandered to a different place…home. Many a night, Luke would stay out late at
night with Bo, gazing at the bright stars from the hayloft in their Uncle’s barn. Tears
began to fall as thoughts of Hazzard, Bo, Daisy, Uncle Jesse, dear friends and neighbors,
flashed through his mind. Luke then looked about him, at all the tired and beaten
soldiers, finding it hard to believe that three years earlier he was just a young, innocent,
country boy. Luke fought desperately to hang on to the pleasant images of home, but the
images of the horrors of war, from the past three years, kept interfering.
Luke finally broke down, loosing all hope of ever going home to his friends and
family. This was suppose to be his last assignment for the Marines, before being
discharged. He was suppose to go home…he’d promised Bo, Daisy and Jesse he’d come
home. Now he was a helpless prisoner, surrounded by death and carnage in a jungle,
thousands of miles from home, with only his memories and muffled sobs as his
companions.
Back in Hazzard…
Sunday service at church proceeded as a slow grind for the Duke family. An
entourage of well-wishing neighbors and friends offered their prayers and support, but Bo
would have nothing of it. The mear mention of Luke, or the war, sent Daisy off in an
emotional tiff on several occasions through out the day, with Jesse running off after
her. Later that afternoon, Bo went to the fishing hole at Hazzard pond, where Luke
had first taught him how to fish. Bo had brought his rod and reel, but didn’t catch
anything. Mostly, Bo was lost in his memories of he and Luke, and all the things they did
together. One memory, however, stuck out painfully like a rose thorn pearcing the skin.
**He found Bo up in the hayloft, sobbing quietly, with his knees drawn to his
chest and his face buried. The news of Luke’s draft notice into the marines had sent a
rippling effect of anger and fear through his family. But no one took it as hard as Bo
did. Luke sat next to his youngest cousin and tried to put his arm around his shoulders.
“Go away!” Bo’s head popped up suddenly.
Luke nearly jumped out of his skin.”Take it easy, little cousin. I just wanna help,”
eighteen year old Luke replied.
“I don’t want you to help me!” Bo sobbed “I don’t ever want to be near you,
EVER!”
Bo’s words cut through Luke’s heart like a serrated edge.”You don’t mean that – ”
” – Yes I do!” Bo snapped, staring directly at Luke, with pain clouding his dark
blue eyes.
“C’mon, Bo.” Luke answered sternly “You KNOW you don’t really mean it. You’re
scared and angry, and I want you to tell me about it.”
Bo kept staring at his older cousin in silence. Luke knew that his being drafted
into the Vietnam War effort had struck a devastating blow for his fourteen-and-a-half
year old cousin.
“I don’t want you to get close to me no more…” Bo whispered.
Again, Luke felt the pain of rejection from his beloved little cousin.”Why…?”
Luke was close to tears himself
“Because,” Bo sniffed, “If you go off to war…en’ you don’t come back…”
“D-don’t say it, Bo” Luke broke down and grabbed Bo into a fearce hug.
“I’d just die, Luke!…” Bo began to cry hard this time.
“No you wont!” Luke replied stubbornly “I ain’t gonna let you do a fool thing like
that, cause I’m gonna come back. Do you hear me, Bo James Duke?!”
“Luke, I -”
“Do you hear me?!”
“Promise…” Bo mumbled, having buried his face in the folds of Luke’s flannel
shirt.
“I promise, Bo…I’m gonna come back…”**
“…You lied to me, Luke…” Bo broke down in tears. “…Why did you lie to me…”
Two weeks had since passed, after Luke had been reported missing in action.Life
at the Duke farm continued, Jesse and Daisy tended to daily chores, and Bo went back to
school. Hardly anyone talked about Luke at all, because it was too painful for them, but
every night, Jesse continued to pray for Luke’s safe return.
That Sunday, a memorial service was held for young Virgil Jennings. The United
States Military had finally brought the boy’s remains home to be laid to rest; and Earl
Jennings brought his wife and remaining son back to Hazzard, for the service. A wake
was held afterwards at the Jennings’ farm.
Bo sat outside in the afternoon sun, under the shade of an old oak tree, out front
of the Jennings farmhouse. He had been unusually quiet through out the service, and
Jesse had grown a little concerned. Daisy had finally come out to talk to her cousin.
“I don’t wanna be here,” Bo whispered.
“I know,” Daisy answered. A light breeze rustled the leaves of the big tree they sat
under.
“Why did Uncle Jesse ask us to come here?” Bo asked
“‘Cause Virgil was our friend,” Daisy replied. “And he was Luke’s friend too.”
“That’s why I don’t wanna be here,” Bo muttered. “Through out the service…I kept
thinkin’ it was Luke they were talkin’ about.”
“Bo, don’t say that!” Daisy snapped.
“Why not?” Bo asked, “He ain’t comin’ back…”
“Stop it!” Daisy wailed. “Stop it, Bo, Luke’s gonna come back, I just know it!”
“Really!” Bo’s voice was on the rise. “Well tell me where he is, Daisy? Do you
know what happened to Luke?”
Daisy broke down and buried her head in her arms. Jesse came outside to find out
what had become of his niece and nephew, when he caught wind of Bo’s last comment,
and saw Daisy crying. “What’s goin’ on out here? We’s suppose to be payin’ our respects
to Virgil’s family. En’ you two are out here chewing each other out.” Jesse replied.
“I ain’t goin’ in there,” Bo answered defiantly.
“You best watch your mouth, boy,” Jesse replied firmly “You ain’t so big now that
I can’t still take ya over m’ knee en’ whoop ya!”
“I don’t wanna go in there.” Bo burst out crying.
“Bo, stop this nonsense!” Jesse ordered.
Bo could tell that his Uncle’s temper was on the rise, and it was wearing thin, but
he was too angry himself to care.
“Uncle Jesse,” Daisy sobbed, “Bo’s talkin’ like Luke’s not comin’ back.”
Jesse’s eyes flashed in anger. “BOY!”
“IT’S TRUE!” Bo screamed his own temper flailing. “You know it is. First Virgil,
and now Luke!”
Jesse moved forward as if he were going to grab hold of his nephew, but Bo up
and bolted from underneath the tree and kept running. “Bo!” Jesse yelled after him.
Bo ignored his Uncle and kept running. He wanted to just run forever, and leave
all his pain behind him.
After the wake, Earl told Jesse that he was going to sell his farm and move to
Orange County, where his sister-in-law lived.
“We can’t stay here, Jesse,” Earl said sadly. “Marge can’t take livin’ here no more,
she needs to be with her family. She says that with Davis beein’ all that we have, she’s
afraid somethin’ might happen to him here. And there’s too many bad memories in this
house for us to stay on.”
“I understand.” Jesse nodded taking a sip from his glass of shine.
“What happened to Bo this afternoon?” Earl asked. “I hear he took off runnin’ like
a scalded cat, after havin’ some fight with Daisy.”
Jesse frowned .”Bo’s angry, Earl.” Jesse began, “Luke bein’ reported missin’ has
been pretty hard for the family to take. It’s been especially hard on Bo…he believes Luke
ain’t comin’ back.”
Earl sighed and shook his head.” I pray that ain’t so, Jesse. Luke’s a good boy. Me
en’ Marge were gonna tell you, before we left, our prayers are with you.”
Jesse smiled faintly. “Thank you, Earl. You know I don’t know what I’d do if I’d
loose any of those kids of mine. Martha – God bless her – and I raised them three, as if
they was our own, since we wasn’t blessed with any children. But when my brothers en’
their wives passed, I was thankful that they chose us to look after their children.”
Earl smiled, “You en’ Martha did good, raisin’ those youngin’s, Jesse.”
“I hope so.” Jesse replied
Bo never came back to the farmhouse that night, instead, he was hidden away up
in the hayloft, in the barn. Jesse, Daisy, and Cooter searched for him, had called friends
and neighbors, but couldn’t find hardly a whisper.Bo was gazing up at the stars from the
hayloft, the sounds of crickets and other night crawlers filled the air. He had actually
returned to the farm hours earlier, but never bothered to come out and tell anyone, while
they went up and down the road, calling his name. Bo just lay up there, still in his Sunday
clothes, talking to himself as if someone were there.
“Sure is a beautiful night.” Bo whispered quietly. “Remember how when we was
kids, en’ we use to come up here en’ stare at the stars, all the time?” Bo sighed” I guess
you ain’t lookin’ at the stars tonight, are you Lukas?”
Jesse had come outside to stand out on the porch before turning in, hoping to see
any last minute sign of his missing nephew. He was tired and worried, and he was sorry
for having been angry with Bo, earlier. He knew how much Bo was hurting, but didn’t
want to admit how much he hurt himself. Jesse instantly regretted chasing Bo off, but his
temper had gotten the best of him. Jesse smiled as he thought of Bo, being just as angry
at him.
“Must run in the family.” Jesse muttered to himself. “His father was like that himself…at
one time…”
Jesse smiled fondly at the memory of his youngest brother, Bo’s father. Jesse was
about to turn in when he heard voices coming from the hayloft in the barn. Jesse quietly
climbed up the wooden ladder and felt tears spring to his eyes, when he found Bo, lying
on his back in amongst a pile of hay.
“That you, Bo?” Jesse whispered. Bo startled at the sound of Jesse’s voice. Jesse
then came and sat next to his nephew, who was now sitting with his knees drawn to his
chest. Bo’s jacket lay crumpled up in a ball, when he used it at a pillow. “I’ve been
worried sick, boy. Where you been? I had half of Hazzard lookin’ for you.”
“I’ve been up here.” Bo frowned
“We was lookin’ all over, beatin’ the bush for you, en’ the whole time you were up
here?”
“Yes sir…” Bo muttered, “I’m sorry. I just needed time on my own, is all.”
“Don’t do it again.” Jesse grumbled. Jesse’s eyes then softened as he patted Bo on
the back. “I know you needed time to yourself, Bo.”
Bo took in a deep breath and slowly released it out again, before apologizing to
his Uncle. “I’m sorry about what I said…about Luke not comin’ back…” Bo paused. “I
wanna believe, with all my heart, that Luke will come home, but Virgil Jennings’ funeral
made me feel like he wasn’t. And I was angry at you for makin’ me go.”
Jesse wanted to kick himself, he had no idea what effect Virgil’s funeral would
have on his kids. “I should be the one apologizin’, ” Jesse began, “I should have realized
how hard it must have been for you en’ Daisy to be there, especially with what’s happened
to Luke. Truth is, Bo, I felt the way you did too. I should have been more sympathetic to
your feelings. It’s just when Daisy told me what you had been sayin’ to her, I wanted to
deny the whole thing, and about how I really felt.”
Bo’s lower lip began to tremble, and Jesse drew him into his arms. “Uncle
Jesse…what if Luke really don’t come back?”
Jesse started rubbing Bo’s back, gently rocking him back and fourth, the way he’d
done when Bo was little. “We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.” Jesse’s
voice began to break, not wanting to think about Luke never coming home. “But for
now…we still gotta keep prayin’ ”
After ten minutes, Bo stopped crying, and Jesse got him to come down from the
loft and in the house to bed. Both Jesse and Bo fell into an exhausted sleep.Tomorrow,
they prayed, would be a brighter day.
Some where in the Vietnam jungle…
The sound of propeller blades had brought Luke out of a deep sleep. He had been
dreaming that he was back home in Hazzard, talking to Bo, but was disappointed when
he awoke back in his prison in the jungle.But something was different.
“The Marines have landed!” some body shouted in the distance. “We’re going
home!”
Luke scrambled to the bars and saw four or five Apache helicopters landed in a
clearing, off to the side. The propellers making soft thumping noises, and the rush of air
from the swirling blades, caused the tall grass surrounding the craft to flatten to the
ground. Luke could see U.S. Marines leading their Vietnamese prisoners to the otherside
of the camp, forcing them to kneel with their hands on their heads.
“Sergeant?” A young Marine called out to Luke. Luke looked up into the eyes of
the young man, freeing the P.O.W’s from their cramped cell.”Sergeant, it’s time to go
home.” The young Marine smiled. Luke wiped away any evidence of tears and smiled
back at his rescuer.
“Let’s get out of here.” Luke grinned numbly, “I gotta make it home in time for my
cousin’s graduation.”
The Marines freed all their captured comrades and airlifted them back into allied
territory. As Luke’s helicopter lifted off the ground, he said a silent prayer to the powers
that be, and whispered, “Hang on, Bo. I’m almost home…”
Things seemed to be progressing well, back in Hazzard, over the last few weeks.It
was June, and time for Bo’s Highschool graduation. Bo sat on a raised platform with his
classmates, as the Master of Ceremonies delivered a speech to the graduates. Bo was
dressed nicely in his Sunday cloths, smiling at Jesse and Daisy, who looked on from the
gathered audience of parents, friends, and family.
Bo had desperately wanted Luke to be here to see this moment. To see his little
cousin, all grown up, on this important day, but Luke had been missing still for two
months. Bo closed his eyes and sent a prayer out to his older cousin, wherever he was.
Luke stared widely at the town of Hazzard as the bus that had brought him here
pulled away from the depot. He was home. After three, long, difficult years, Luke was
finally back in the one place he’d only dreamt of seeing again. Luke let a few tears slide
down his cheeks before shouldering his duffel bag, and heading off in the direction of
Hazzard High. Bo Duke walked nervously up to the podium to receive his diploma, and a
handshake from his teacher. The afternoon was clear and sunny as the assembly, gathered
on the football field, clapped when Bo was handed his certificate.
Luke arrived in time to see Bo retrieve his diploma, and nearly cried at the sight,
as everyone started clapping. Luke put his bag down and joined the applause, fiercely
proud of his younger cousin. To Luke, Bo had changed alot. When Luke left, Bo was
nearly fifteen, skinny, and awkward. Now Bo was a grown man, handsome, muscular,
and a whole lot taller than Luke remembered. Taller even than him, Luke guessed. But
Bo still had that unmistakable mop of blonde, curly hair and that silly grin that use to
annoy Luke. Now Luke only laughed.
Bo returned to his seat and waved to Jesse and Daisy. He didn’t even recognize
the young man, standing in the back in his Marine dress Uniform. It wasn’t until the
ceremony was over, and the crowd began to disperse, that Bo realized who had been
standing there. At first, Bo blinked, thinking he just imagined what he was seeing. After a
second glance, Bo found himself bolting towards the individual. Luke saw Bo barreling
towards him at full-tilt, but all he could do was smile.
Jesse and Daisy were a little surprised to see Bo just take off the way he did. It
wasn’t before long, though, that they realized why.
“LUKE!” Bo cried as he threw himself upon his cousin. “Luke, you’re alive!”
The force of his younger cousin momentarily winded Luke. Indeed, Bo had gotten
alot bigger in the last three years. Luke was then engaged in a long brotherly hug with Bo.
“I promised you I’d come back, didn’t I?” Luke smiled. Luke let go of Bo when he
saw his Uncle and Daisy approach. Neither of them had really changed much, except
Uncle Jesse’s hair was almost white now, and Daisy was a healthy, slender, and beautiful
twenty-year-old. Daisy reached Luke and threw herself upon him the way Bo had, and
bombarded him with many kisses.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Luke smiled at Daisy.
“Oh Luke! I’m so glad you’re back.” Daisy wailed as Luke lifted her off the ground
in an enormous bear hug.
“I’m glad to see you too, darlin’.” Luke whispered to Daisy.
Jesse stood several paces behind Daisy, with tears running all down his cheeks.
“Uncle Jesse ” Luke said, carefully putting Daisy back down.
“Come here,” Jesse opened his arms. “Come en’ give your ol’ Uncle Jesse a
hug…” Luke moved forward and embraced his uncle, hard. Jesse continued to cry,
believing this to truly be a miracle. Luke squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to give into
tears, but he lost.
Soon friends and neighbors from all around had gathered to welcome Luke home.
Some people cried, and others told Luke how good it was to see him alive and well.
After nearly two hours, the entire Duke family, along with Cooter Davenport,
went back to the farm to celebrate. In the evening, while folks dropped by to see Luke,
Bo went outside to the barn. Luke had managed to slip out, finding Bo in the hayloft,
where they always use to hide as children.
“Well look at you” Luke called out to Bo who was sitting, looking up at the
stars.”I never thought I’d leave behind a boy, only to come home en’ find him a grown
man.”
Bo looked up and smiled at Luke, who had long since changed into a pair of blue
jeans and blue plaid flannel shirt.
“Alot has changed since you left.” Bo replied, then smiled mischievously. “I’m
allowed to order a beer at the Boar’s Nest now.”
Luke chuckled and sat down next to Bo, rolling up his shirtsleeves. The sound of
crickets chirping, the light of the stars and the moon and the smell of the breeze. All
things Luke had never believed he could miss so much, as he did his family. “I never
thought I’d see all this again.” Luke began as he gazed out at his Uncle’s property. “Being
locked up in that camp for the last couple of months sure had me thinkin’ a whole lot.”
Bo flinched. He didn’t want to be reminded of the pain he’d felt in those last two
months. “Doesn’t that bother you?” Bo asked, “You talk about it as though it don’t matter.
I’ve often heard that some people come home from the war, not quite the same as when
they left.”
Luke sighed, “Oh…there have been plenty of things that bothered me through out
the war, and I know I ain’t the same as when I left. But I can’t change the things I saw or
what I went through. I’ve seen some pretty horrible things, Bo, but now that I’m home, the
magnitude of it all ain’t quite sunk in yet; but I do know when it does, I’ll have my family
there to help me through it.”
“You bet.” Bo smiled. But Bo’s smile faded as quickly as it came.
“Are you alright?” Luke asked, concerned.
Bo shrugged.
“Bo?” Luke put a hand on his cousin’s shoulder.
“I’ll be alright.” Bo muttered.
“What’s wrong? You know you can still tell me things, right?” Luke asked, hoping
Bo would talk to him the way they use to.
“I thought you were dead…” Bo whispered. “I thought you’d broken your promise
about comin’ home.”
Luke frowned. He’d never imagined the effects that his absence would have on his
family. But through Bo, he was beginning to see the first signs of the damage that had
been done.
“Well I ain’t dead, Bo,” Luke tried to sound reassuring. “And once I make a
promise to my family, I stick with it.”
“I was scared, Luke…” Bo mumbled.
“…So was I…” Luke replied softly. “But I’m proud of you, Bo.” Luke continued.
“I’m proud of how you, Jesse, en’ Daisy have held it together, I’m proud of y’all keepin’ up
with the farm; en’ I’m proud of the man you’ve grown up to be.”
Bo smiled. “Thanks Luke. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear your
voice. It’s better then all those letters you sent.”
Luke chuckled.
“I’m proud of you too, Luke.” Bo continued.
“For what?” Luke asked.
“For serving your country,” Bo replied. “For being who your are.”
Luke was touched. Not alot of people said those kinds of things to returning
soldiers from Vietnam. Most people were disgusted or angry, but Luke was relieved to
know that his own kin didn’t feel that way.
“Everything’s gonna be alright now, ain’t it Luke?”
“You bet, Bo”
“Hey, Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“Wanna come racin’ with me, Cooter, Brody, en’ Dobro on Saturday?”
“You drive now, too?”
“Yep. Best there is.”
“We’ll see about that, little cuz.”
“HA! I ain’t so little anymore, Luke. I’m bigger than you now.”
“But I’m still older.”
“You got a point there, Luke.”
“It’s gettin’ late, Bo. We should head in, we got chores tomorrow mornin’ ”
“Not yet, Luke.”
“Okay.”
“Hey Luke?”
“Yeah Bo?”
“Stars sure are pretty tonight.”
“They sure are.”
“Hey Luke?”
“What now, Bo?”
“It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back…Hey, I just heard Jesse callin’ us in.”
“Well let’s go.”
“Right behind you, Bo.”

THE END

by : Judas_Priest_On_A_Pony@yahoo.com

CAST OF CHARACTERS: Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Boss J.D. Hogg, Sheriff Rosco P.
Coltrane, Jesse Duke, Daisy Duke, Deputy Enos Strate,
GUESTS: Roxanne Biggs, Joanne Stanford

It was one of those peaceful summer afternoons in Hazzard County, as the sun glistened
off the hilltops and through the trees, burning sharp shadows on the surface of the land.
The Duke Boys were burning up the road in the General Lee as usual, on their way to the
Boar’s Nest to see two girls theythey met at an archery contest (I suppose the girls were
impressed by their archery skills).
“Now remember Luke, the tall and skinny one is mine,” Bo said authoritatively to Luke,
who was driving.
“Suits me fine. I HATE skinny women, remember?” Luke replied.
“Cute,” Bo replied, The Dukes continued carelessly on their way, having no idea a
Hazzard County patrol car is parked hidden on the side of the road. Seeing the Dukes
pass, Sheriff Rosco emerges from behind a bush with a 25 mile zone sign and plants it
firmly in the ground.After a short giggling session, he hops into his car takes off after
them.
“Hee hee! I got them Dukes this time! Uh heh…I just love this police work!” Rosco
enthusiastically puts his foot to the floor and flips on the siren. Bo and Luke
simultaniously look to the rear to find the sheriff quickly gaining on them.
“Geez…. Rosco AGAIN?” That’s it… I’ve had it!” Luke said in a frustrated tone.
“Uh…Luke, either Rosco’s getting better with age or you’re getting slower with age!” Bo
said with a bit of concern.
“Funny. ” Luke replied as Rosco continued to close in. “Okay Bo, we’ll just see who gets
better with age….hang on!” Luke puts the pedal to the floor and accelerates quickly.
Rosco grabs the CB. “Enos, this is your supreme superior commander, Sheriff Rosco P.
Coltrane speakin…uh, you got your ears on dipstick, c’mon?”
“Yes sir, Sheriff,” Enos relpies. “Accept you’re using improper police procedure, over?”
“Enos will you put a cork in it?….you meadowmuffin!” Rosco replies angrily. “Now I’m
in hot pursuit of them Duke Boys heading north on Highway 421, now are you in
position, c’mon?”
“Yes sir I’m about 4 miles ahead of your stakeout postion, over?,” Enos replies.
“That’s good news, Enos! Now listen, I’m about 2 miles behind ya so I want you to lay
out those spike strips that I bought from the Police surplus last week…over?” Rosco
replies again.
“Roger, over and out!” Enos quickly gets out of his car and gets the spike strips from out
of the trunk, then proceeds to lay them across the road carefully. Meanwhile, the Dukes
are headed his way.
“Whats that in the road, Luke?” Bo sees something laid across the road in the distance.
The General closes in on the spike strips.
“Oh no! Spike strips!!” Luke screams at Bo. “Do something!”
“I can’t, I’m not driving!” Bo screams back.
“Hold on to something cousin!” Luke turns the wheel sharply to the right, and right into a
cornfield. Totally blinded by green cornstalks, Luke struggles to get the General back on
the road. Meanwhile Rosco himself is closing in on the strips. Unable to stop, he drives
right over them.
“Ooooohh Grrrrghnn!!”” Rosco groans as he hears his tires popping. He skids to a
stop.The General makes it back onto the road.
“Yaahhhooo! Haha!” Bo gets a kick out of Rosco’s misfortune, while Luke honks the
horn,the ballad of ‘Dixie’ adding insult to injury.
“You dang Duke Boys! You just….listen! I’m …oh good grief….” Rosco is visibly
disappointed.
Anyway, a little later…..the boys arrive at the Boar’s Nest, still laughing and gloating
about how they showed up ol’ Rosco. Bo and Luke casually walk through the door and
enter a dimly lit, smoke-filled bar room, crowded with locals and out-of-town truckers.
“Sure is busy today ain’t it Luke?” Bo speaks softly to Luke, so not to make too much
noise.
“There they are, cousin,” Luke whispers back to Bo. The two Duke boys stroll to the table
where the girls are sitting, who have their eyes glued to them like a spider to a fly.
Cousin Daisy walks between them with a tray of drinks.
“What are y’all lookin’ at?” Daisy turns quickly, her hair flapping a little, and sees who
Bo and Luke are staring at. “THOSE are the two gals you were talkin about?” she
whispers to the boys witha bit of distaste in her tone. “Well they better kiss better than
they tip, or y’all are in trouble! hehe!”Bo playfully slaps Daisy on her arm.
“Cute Daisy, real cute…” The boys continue their stride over to the table where the girls
are sitting.
“Hello boys,” Roxanne said seducitvely (she’s the skinny one). “My my… y’all look even
more handsome from down here.”
“Well this angle ain’t so bad either,” Bo responded smoothly. He takes Roxanne’s hand
and lightly plants a kiss on it, firmly establishing which girl he wants. “The pleasure’s all
mine.” Bo flashes a little smile, while Luke, a little embarrased by his cousin’s smooth
talking antics, very formally shakes the other’s (Joanne) hand. The boys pull up a couple
of chairs and sit down. Bo is visibly very interested in Roxanne. The four have two
seperate conversations, neither pair paying much attention to the other.Luke is a little
nervous, but holds his own in the conversation. In the background, cousin Daisy seems
very interested in what’s going on while serving drinks at the same time. Daisy smiles at
Bo’s charming antics. After about 20 minutes of small talk, Bo makes a proposal.
“Say Roxanne, what do y’all say we all take a little spin around the county, and we
can…get toknow y’all a little better, huh?” Bo looks at Roxanne, then Luke, then back to
Roxanne.
“That sounds like a great idea, Bo,” said Joanne, who then turns to Roxanne and gives her
a wink. Luke smiles back at Joanne, but seems suspicious.
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” Roxanne says as she stands stoutly. The other
three all stand up at the same time and the four of them proceed towards the exit. Bo
puts an arm around Roxannein his traditional “smooth move” fashion. Just before they
can reach the door they’re cut off by Rosco and Enos, who barge through the door in a
very intimidating fashion. The sheriff quickly draws his gun and swings it in Bo’s
direction, then to Luke. Enos is standing behind Rosco with his hand on his gun, ready to
draw it if necessary.
“Alright you Dukes….just freeze it right there cause I got ya covered!” Rosco meant
business with his words. Daisy stops what she’s doing immediately and turns towards
where the commotion is.
“Dang it Rosco will ya put that thing away?? Somebody might get hurt!” Bo shrugs
Rosco’s order as if he is dealing with a child yielding a water pistol. The two girls step
away from Bo and Luke.
“What did we do NOW, Rosco?” Luke said, feeling sick and tired of asking that same
question over again.
“Well for starters, I caught ya going 50 in a 25 mile an hour zone, and then…” Rosco is
interr-upted by Luke.
“You mean that sign you put up after we past you?” Luke adds.
“Uhh yes…uh no…no.. well that don’t make no difference no how cause I got ya on
resisiting arrest and destruction of county property! Cee cee cee!” Rosco chuckles. “Enos,
read em they’re rights!”
“Yes sir…I’m mighty sorry about this Bo, Luke…I’m real sorry…One, you have the right to
remain silent. Two, you have the right to an attourn…” Enos is interrupted by Boss Hogg
who comes storming out of his office waving his trademark cigarre.
“Ain’t nobody readin nothin to nobody! Counta’ …. nobody’s arrestin nobody!” Boss
screams declaratively.
“But Boss….” Rosco said with a very confused expression on his face.
“I am DROPPING the charges against you Duke Boys!” Boss smiles then puts the cigarre
backin his mouth.
“You kiddin?” Bo is confused as well. “Well hot dang!”
“Boss, would would possess you to do a stup….” Rosco is interrupted by Boss.
“That’s right…you Dukes are free to go….ROSCO, put that gun away, jackass! This is a
place ofbusiness not a bookin’ office!” Boss said. Rosco made a motion to say
something, but shut himself up and did what he was told. The Duke Boys both smiled at
each other, and took their respective girls’ hands at the same time and strolled out the
door with them, past Rosco and Enos. Rosco gave both the boys a dirty look and put his
fist up, while Enos tipped his hat to both of them and smiled.
“Bye Bo, bye Luke! See y’all later!” Enos said, relieved that he didnt have to arrest his
friends.He then turned to Daisy and waved at her. Daisy waved back and smiled, then
resumed serving drinks.The Boys walked out of the Boars Nest with their girls, laughing
and chatting away. The door creaks open and slams as they leave. They help the girls
slide into General Lee very carefully, then follow. Bo hopped into the driverside with
Roxanne riding shotgun, while Joanne sat in the back with Luke.
“So where do you wanna go first ladies?” Bo asked with a huge smile on his face.
“Say…why don’t we drive into town? Maybe we can all take a walk around the square.”
Roxanne replied.
“Sounds like a good idea to me,” said Luke, who smiled back at Joanne.
“Let’s go!” Bo revs up the engine, so’s to impress the girls. After giving a quick look to
Roxanne,he throws it in reverse and spreads a beautiful array of dirt and dust into the hot,
dry air as the General pulled out of the crowd of parked cars. The boys were off to town.
When the General pulled into town square on that peaceful summer afternoon , it seemed
like nothing could possibly spoil the stroke of good luck the boys have had. But
well…this is Hazzard County, and if anyone knows Hazzard as well as Bo and Luke do,
they know it just ‘ain’t gonna be that simple’. Meanwhile, back at the Boar’s Nest, Boss
was in his office explaining to Rosco why he passed up a perfectly good opportunity to
throw the Duke Boys in jail.
“Now Rosco look….”Boss said, while chalking up a pool cue . ” I’m not one to pass up a
chance to NAIL THEM DUKE BOYS!”
“BUT…” Rosco interrupted , knowing exactly what Boss was going to say next.
“But….why settle for the night in jail and a couple hundred dollars bail when you can
have ten years in STATE PRISON!! Hahaha!” After sinking the three ball in the side
pocket, Boss sets down his cue and plants a cigarre in his mouth. Rosco, like a pety
bellhop, rushes to Boss to light his cigarre.
“Heehee…I love it I just love it! State prison, eh Boss?” replied Rosco with a curious
grin.
“That’s right…you see them two phillies them Dukes were with?” Boss said in a giddy
tone.
“Yeah?” Rosco replied, stll grinning.
“Well… I’ve arranged for them girls to rob the Hazzard County bank this afternoon at 3
‘oclock…and do you know who will be drivng the getaway car? ” Boss was still feeling
quite giddy.
“Who?” Rosco asked very stupidly.
“Rosco, why don’t you use that head of yours for somethin’ other than retainin’ water?
Who do ya think?? The DUKE BOYS, you numskull!!” Boss replied.
“Ooohhh oooohh…I get it…so Bo and Luke will be drivin’ the getaway car, right?” Rosco
asked like a schoolboy answering a teacher’s question.
“Right, right, you’re learnin, you’re learnin!!!” Boss pats Rosco across his cheak. Rosco
chuckles in the background.
“But…Boss…” Rosco asked seriously. “How did you hire them girls to rob the bank?”
“Well…those girls made a couple bootleg runs for me years back…and well, let’s just say
they’ve become ‘career’ criminals, haha!” Boss chuckles as he explains his angle to Rosco.
“You mean you hired a couple of ladies to run moonshine for you?” Rosco asked, quite
confused. “I’ve never heard of ladies runnin shine before…”
“I know I know! That’s just it…Nobody would ever suspect that a couple of bustin’ beaties
drivn’a mustang convertable could ever have moonshine hid up in their trunk! Get it?”
Boss put his cigarre back in his mouth.
“Well I just…” Rosco tried to answer but Boss interrupted him.
“Just recently I looked ’em up in my little black book of associates and well , them girls
have pulled off more jobs than you…or I could count! Hahaha!” Boss said, laughing. “So I
called em up and hired em to do a NON-robery…for a cool 20 thousand similions….10 a
piece. And I told em not to worry cause I got the local law in my back pocket!”
“Wait a minute…” Rosco said. “So they’re gonna rob a bank with hundreds of thousands
of dollars in it..maybe millions…and give it all back to you for a measily 20 thousand?
Why would they do a stupid thing like that?”
“Rosco…in this business there’s a TRUST factor involved. Besides…should they try any
double crosses, I’ve got YOU to throw THEM in jail!” Boss reassured Rosco.
“Me Boss?” Rosco asked, in a scared tone.
“Well you the sheriff ’round here ain’t ya? Don’t worry, they won’t see the twenty
thousand till I see the bank money!” Boss waved his cigarre while speaking. “Now….I
want you to get out on patrol, and I don’t wanna see either you OR Enos hangin ’round
that bank til the robbery’s been reported, understand? Last thing I want is for you to scare
’em away from that bank! Now…immediately followin’ the robbery them Dukes will be
headin back to the Boar’s Nest….which is where YOU come in.”
“Right…” Rosco replied.
“Now I’m gonna be on the police phone so’s I can tell you when to head on back…get it?”
“But Boss why don’t me and Enos just hang around here til then?” Rosco asked.
“Cause TIME is MONEY! Besides…I don’t want anything lookin’ too suspicous…get it?”
Boss said.
“Ooohh…right! I’m just gonna get them Duke Boys, cee cee cee! I’m gone!” Rosco
grabbed his hat and jacket and quickly exited Boss’s office. Entering the smoke-filled bar
room, Rosco saw Enos as he scrambled to get his jacket on. “Enos!” Rosco yelled as he
saw Enos chatting with Miss Daisy. “Will ya quit lustin’ over that girl?” Rosco yelled.
“Now I want you to get out on patrol! And stay away from town til I say otherwise!”
Rosco was now pointing at him.
“Well how come?” Enos asked.
“Will you just do what I tell you? You dipstick!” Rosco yelled back.
“Yes sir! Bye Daisy!” Enos replied, waved to Daisy and quickly followed his superior
officer out the door, after bumping into a couple of chairs along the way.
“Bye Enos,” Daisy blew him a kiss and laughed.
It was now ten minutes to three in Hazzard Square. The boys were walking the girls back
to the General after a casual tour around town. “Hey, I got another great idea!” Bo said.
“Why don’t we drive up to the lake?”
“Well that’s a GREAT idea, Bo!” Roxanne said, putting her arm around his shoulder.
“Let’s do it!” Joanne replied.
“I’m game if y’all are!” Luke said, smiling.
“Okay! haha!” Bo said, most enthusiasticly.
“But… first Roxanne and I have gotta make a…… withdrawl from the bank,” Joanne said,
smiling at Roxanne.
“Well okay,” Bo said. “We’ll drive over.” The boys loaded the girls into General Lee and
then slid in themselves. Bo puts the pedal to the floor and races to the bank. When it
reached the bank, the General slammed to a hard stop, leaving skid marks in the street
and giving out a loud squeel, making the situation even more suspicious than it needs to
be.
“Don’t be long girls!” Bo yelled as Roxanne and her partner slide out of General Lee.
“We won’t,” Joanne said as she looked at Roxanne smiling. Roxanne then loosened the
button that holds the flap on her purse closed. A weapon of some kind is obviously
concealed. The girls strut casually up the stairs and into the bank. Before entering they
quickly pull masks out of their purses and throw them on. The two ladies smile at each
other. Meanwhile, the boys were in General Lee (note the engine is running) passing the
time.
“Yaaahoo!” Bo yelled. “What a day, first Boss drops them charges, and now Roxanne and
Joanneare money in the bank!”
“Remember the last time you said that Bo? We had to jumpstart General Lee cause the
keys were in my pants a couple of girls stole off us…Not to mention the prize money!”
Luke said.
“Yeah, don’t remind me!” Bo replied.
“Strange…Why Boss would drop the charges is beyond me…” Luke rubbed his chin.
“Did you see the look on Rosco’s face? Haha, I’ll never forget that!” Bo chuckled. Luke
replied with some laughter of his own. Inside the bank, the girls were work their magic.
“ALRIGHT! EVERYBODY THROW THEIR BELONGINGS ON THE GROUND AND
DROP TOTHE FLOOR!” Roxanne screamed militarily. Everyone in the bank turned to
the masked bandits in shock,as if they’ve never seen such activity in Hazzard (I’m
supposin’ they all don’t get out much in Hazzard County). “C’MON, DO IT!” Roxanne
ordered, flashing her 38 calliber. Everyone did as they were told and very nervously
layed face down on the floor. Joanne did the same. “JO, take care of the teller and I’ll
getTHEIR stuff…and see if you can’t get that safe open!” Meanwhile, the boys were just
fiddling around in General Lee impatiently, waiting for the girls.
“What’s takin them girls so long… they gettin a first rate home extacy loan or somethin?”
Bo crosses his arms in frustration.
“That’s EQUITY loan…..Ya know Bo? It’s too bad there ain’t a bucket of cold water in
this car cause if there was I’d have to throw it on ya!” Luke jokingly replied.
“Cute.” Bo was not amused. Back inside, Roxanne was swiping the poor customers’
belongingswhile Joanne was working on the teller. She was having a tough time getting
Rose Ellen (the teller) to do anything.
“WILL YOU CALM DOWN??” Joanne sounded frustrated while pointing the gun at poor
Rose Ellen. “Look, you don’t even have to do it fast…just fill the money bags nice and
slow…take your time.” Joanne figured on resorting to being to nice.
“Okay…”Rose Ellen replied, while sobbing heavily. Trying to wipe her tears she started
tossing wads of money into the bag, some of them missing the bag altogether and falling
to the floor.
“Oh good grief…” Joanne mumbled to herself. “Okay, while you’re doing that, you think
you can tell me the combination to the vault without crying?”
“26, 42, 35, 6, 7, 18!”Rose Ellen blurted out quickly.
“Well, at least you’re good for SOMETHING!” Joanne smiled and quickly ran to the bank
vault,reciting the combination to herself.
“Will you c’mon?” Roxanne said. “I’m finished with my half of the job!”
“Oh will you shut up, Roxxy?” Joanne replied. Try dealing with HER (referring to Rose
Ellen) for one minute!” Joanne opens the safe. “JACKPOT!” Outside the boys were still
waiting. About five minutes pass.
“Hey Luke, you ever wonder why women take so long makin a withdrawl from the
bank?” Bo asked Luke in a daze.
“Probly the same reason they take so long gettin’ ready for a date,” Luke replied. The
girls race out of the bank with bags and bags of money and personal belongings. The
boys turn and look at the girls in disbelief. They both toss the bags of money into General
Lee, some of them hitting Bo in the face. Bo and Luke are so taken by the confusion that
they don’t have time to react. Roxanne flashes her pistol at Bo as she slides in.
“DRIVE! And NO funny business!” Roxanne orderd, with her 38 pointed straight at Bo’s
head.
“Uh…yes ma’am.” Bo puts the General into gear and floors it, as if he’s quite familiar with
this situation. As they take off, Rose Ellen peaks out the window through the blinds and
sees the General pullaway. It seems as if Boss’s plan worked like a charm.
“See Bo? I told ya! You had to say ‘money in the bank,’ didn’t ya?” Luke said to Bo as he’s
staringat Joanne’s 38.
“That ain’t funny Luke,” Bo Replied. “Where we goin, anyway?”
“Just you drop us of at that Bird’s Nest place so we can get away from this jerkwater town
in something tasteful.”
“Uh, that’s the BOAR’S Nest, Roxxy!” Joanne corrected her.
“Whatever! Just DRIVE pretty boy!” Bo gave Roxanne a dirty look, and continued on.
“So I guess the lake is off, huh?” Bo figured he’d give it a try. While the boys were racing
to the Bird’s….ahem..BOAR’s Nest, against their will, Rose Ellen at the bank made a call
to the Hazzard County Sheriff’s office. Unable to reach anybody, she called Boss at his
office at the Boar’s Nest and told him everything that happened. So Boss raised Rosco on
the CB.
“This is J.D. Hogg callin’ Sheriff Rosco Coltrane, over?” There was no answer. “ROSCO
will you answer me you jackass, over?” There was still no answer.
“ROOOOOSCOOOOO!!!!” Rosco suddenly awoke from his nap under a shady tree.
Quickly, he ran to his patrol car and grabbed the CB.
“Rosco here, Boss! Cee cee! Go ahead little fat buddy….over?”
“Will you hush up and listen good? A couple of girls just robbed my bank!! And they
made their getaway in that orange clunker car the General Lee…and the Duke Boys were
drivin!” Boss was pretending to sound as if he had no idea the bank was going to be
robbed. “Now I want you to to find that car and arrest all four of em, over?”
“Boss, you don’t gotta explain nothin to me, you told me all about this at the Boar’s Nest,
remember? Cee cee!” Rosco very stupidly said over the air.
“ROSCO!! We’re on the air!!….You IDIOT! You dang blasted IDIOT!” Boss screamed
into the reciever angrilly. “Ahhh nevermind! You just catch them Duke Boys…..or else,
YOU will BE….”
“The night watchman at the gravel pit on Sumptner Road.” Rosco intterupted Boss. “I’m
gone!”The sheriff throws it in reverse and turns around, headed back in the direction of
town. After raising Enos on the CB, he told him what happened and to keep a look out
for the Dukes. Meanwhile, the boys’ luck was about to get worse as they headed for the
Boar’s Nest. Then again, so was Boss’s.
“Well, you Duke Boys are dumber than Boss Hogg said you are!” Roxanne said to Bo in
an evil tone. As the General sped up the narrow dirt road, a Hazzard County patrol car
was heading towards it from the opposite direction. Enos was in the driver’s seat.
“Well whats THAT suppost to….? OH NO! Looks like Enos! Hang on everybody!” Bo
turns the wheel sharply to the right, skidding forward, forcing Enos to turn to the right
himself, and off the road. Dirt flies as Enos veeres off into a ditch. The General skids to
a stop.
“Looks like he’s okay,” Bo said.
“Will you GET MOVING?? We’re kind of in a hurry here!” Roxanne yelled as she waves
her gun at Bo.
“The BOAR’s NEST, right?” Bo screams loud enough for Enos to hear, and puts the pedal
to the floor. The General takes off, leaving Enos behind.
“Hey Sheriff? This here’s Enos! I just past the Duke Boys going north …I overheard ’em
say they’re headed back towards the Boars Nest!”
“Hot dang, we got em now! Cee cee!” Rosco replied.
After a couple of tries Enos manages to back his way out of the trench, and heads back
north in the direction of the Boar’s Nest. Meanwhile, Rosco raises Boss on the CB.
“Hey Boss?” Rosco said. “I’ve got good news for ya! Them Dukes are headed back to the
Boar’s Nest, just like we planned, and I’ll be right there to clap the cuffs on em, cee cee!
over?”
“Well you better! Or else..YOU will BE…..” Boss replied.
“The night watchman….” Rosco’s voice trailed off. Rosco was pretty close to the Boar’s
Nest because it wasn’t long before he pulled into the lot. He parks behind the back wall,
where he could be concealed quite nicely. The General quickly pulled in a couple of
minutes later spitting up dirt and dust as it came to a stop.
“ALRIGHT GET OUT BLONDY!” Roxanne commanded. Bo started to quickly slide out.
“SLOWLY!”
“Right,” Bo replied and did as he was told . Roxanne slid out the right passenger door,
still trying to keep the gun aimed at Bo. Bo stood still with his hands casually raised
while Roxanne approached him with pistol in hand. She waved it to her left signalling
Bo to move over.
“Alright now YOU, plowboy!” Roxanne said.
“Nice and slow, Jo said, while holding Luke at gunpoint. Luke slid out the door and
stood next to Bo. Jo followed and slid out the other door, pointing the gun in the
direction of the boys. They slowly started to back away towards the getaway car. Sheriff
Rosco appeared from beyong the wall.
“FREEEEEZE!” Rosco yelled as he pointed his gun with both hands at everybody. He
slowly approached the four. Enos pulls into the lot and makes his way towards the scene.
“Alright I don’t want ya horsin’ around cause I won’t hesitate to use this weapon! YOU
two! Drop them guns!” The girls do not comply. “I’m serious, now…do it!!” Rosco was
becoming more angry by the minute. They finally give in and drop their pistols.
“Now…kick em over towards me!” The girls comply. Rosco picks up both guns and
shove them in his pockets. “You didn’t think I’d get ya huh? Well I gotcha! Cee cee cee!”
Enos opens the door and stands up with an ill look on his face, worried about Bo and
Luke. “Now…you’re ALL under arrest! Enos? put the cuffs on em and read em their
rights!!”
“Wait, hold on Rosco we didn’t DO anything!” Luke testified.
“That’s right, we were hostages,” Bo said as Enos was cuffing Bo and Luke’s hands
together.
“Well you can that to the federal judge, Cee cee!” Rosco said with a grin.
“Y’all have the right to remain…” Enos is interrupted as Boss steps out from his office
door.
“MY MONEY!! MY MONEY!! Hahahaha!” Boss hobbles trying to run toward the
General.He sticks his head inside to grab the money bags. “Oh look at it, look at it…it’s all
here!!” A crowd starts to form outside. In that crowd is cousin Daisy. She runs towards
the scene.
“I’m mighty sorry bout this boys!” Enos said, ashamed. Boss sticks his head out of
General Lee with money bags in hand.
“Rosco, you arrest these four bandits and throw em in the huscow!” Boss commanded.
“Enos!, you take them boys into town and throw em in the holding cell! ROSCO! Cuff
them girls and stay here with me!” Rosco does what he’s told. Enos walks the boys to his
patrol car and puts them in.Daisy runs up to him.
“Enos, whats goin’ on?” Daisy asked, grabbing his shoulder.
“I’m sorry Daisy….” Enos slams the back door and gets in the drivers seat.
“DAISY!” Luke yelled. “Get Uncle Jesse, will ya?”
“But Luke, what about you two?” Daisy replied.
“Just do it!” Luke said. Daisy runs to her car and tries to raise Jesse on the CB. There’s no
answer. Enos pulls his car up in front of the General Lee and attaches it to his rear
bumber with a chain. After which he pulls out of the lot and heads for town.
“Okay folks, shows over, nothin’ to see here!” Boss yells. The crowd begins to disperse.
“Well, well well…you girls did your jobs quite nicely,” Boss whispered. “NOW…it’s time
to discuss payment….hehehe!ROSCO!! walk these girls inside will ya?”
“Right Boss,” Rosco replied. He scoots the girls, who are still cuffed together, into the
office door, following Boss. Boss heads for his safe, to get the 20 thousand.
“Now now now…lemme see that was ten thousand for the both of ya right?” As he was
turning the dial.
“That’s…a PIECE,” Jo corrected Boss.
“I’m sorry…where is my head today? Hahaha…” Boss said, looking at both of them.
“Rosco, take them cuffs off will ya? They ain’t prisoners no more!”
“Ooooh….” Rosco said as he scrambles to put the key in. After a couple of unsuccessful
attempts, Rosco gets the cuffs off. “And here are your guns back ladies…cee! ” Rosco
hands the girls over their pistols politely and walks towards Boss.
“Thank you Sheriff,” Roxy said, smiling. Boss counts the 20 thousand out and gives it to
the both of them. “And we’ll be taking the contense of that safe as well, Mister Hogg!” as
she points the gun at Boss, who’s eyes widen.
“AAAHH!!” Boss screamed.
“DWOOO!! Rosco grabs onto Boss.
“Wait just a second here! We had a deal!” Boss said as he was staring down both barrels.
“Well now, Mister Hogg, I would think YOU of all people would understand our
reasoning, huh?” Jo said. She grabs one of the emptier money sacks from off of Boss’s
table. “FILL IT…NOW!”
“Alright alright alright!” Boss replied, almost tearful as he grabs the sack and fills it with
everything from his safe….”Of all the lyin…double crossin, no good…” Boss whsipered.
“Boss, you forgot deceiptful!” Rosco said.
“Will you hush up?” Boss replied.
“Jo, grab that bank money, will ya?” Roxy said. Jo starts picking up sacks.
“No…not the BANK money!!! Ahh…dag nabbit Rosco, whyd’a have to go and give em
back their gunslike that?” Boss finishes filling the sack. Roxy grabs it from him.
“Well I was just bein’ polite!” Rosco said. Boss takes off his hat and smacks Rosco with
it. “Roscooo….if we get outa this alive, I’ll KILL you!”
“Both you two hush up!” Roxy ordered, as she waved her gun at them.
“Dwooooh!” Rosco replied, grabbing Boss and using him as a human shield.
Meanwhile, Daisy was on the phone with Uncle Jesse, having no idea what was going on
in the next room. “I’m tellin ya Uncle Jesse, I have NO idea what’s going on…all I saw
was Enos driving the boys offto jail! And there was two other girls in handcuffs, that’s all
I know….and one more thing..Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco had big smiles on their
faces!”
“Well, that’s typical of J.D. and Rosco…Alright, Daisy, you go back to workin since there
ain’t much else you can do right now…I’m a’headed down to the jailhouse to find out
what’s goin’ on!” Jesse hangs up the phone and grabs his lucky red hat. Meanwhile, the
girls sneak out the back door with all of Boss Hogg’sand the county’s money. After
tossing it in the backseat of their souped up Mustang, they take off headed for the state
line. Back in Boss’s office, Boss and Rosco are handcuffed together, while Rosco is
handcuffed to Boss’s wine closet.
“Well can’t ya get loose???” Boss asked with concern.
“Nothin’ doin, Boss, Rosco replied…we’re stuck here lke a fly on a spider web, cee cee
cee! You know something Boss? Maybe if i lift the leg i can slide it through….”
“You can’t jackass, the legs are all bolted to the floor!” Boss replied.
“Ooooh…well maybe we can yell for help!” Rosco suggested.
“We can’t do that either, numskull! Rememeber? I had the office soundproofed last
month to keep nosyevesdroppers like Daisy Duke from listenin’ in on my plans!” Boss
said. While Boss and Rosco were all hung up, the girls were headed outa town faster
than Boss to a refrigerator.
“Haha! We did it Roxy,” Jo screamed, tossing some small bills out the window.
“Quit that!” That money don’t grow on trees, ya know!” Roxy said.
“Sorry, heheh… Hey, this ain’t the way we came in! Roxy, I think we’re going the wrong
way!” Jo seemed concerned. Nonsene… I know where I’m going!” (Little does she know
that that road takes them right back to town)
“I still say….” Jo was interrupted.
“Will you HUSH?” Roxy said. The bright yellow mustang speeds towards town. Enos,
meanwhile,was driving towards the jail, with Bo and Luke in the backseat The bright
white patrol car, with sirens flashing, pulls to a slow stop in front of the courthouse.
Enos steps out of his car while Bo and Luke are pleading their case in the back.
“Enos, please…you gotta believe us!” Bo pleaded.
“C’mon, we were hostages for Pete sake!” Luke added.
“I’m sorry fellas, I know y’all didn’t have anything to do with it….but Sheriff Coltrane…I
… I gotta do what he says to do.” Enos opens the back door and the boys climb out,
cuffed together even.
“But….” Bo was interrupted by Luke.
“No sense in beatin’ a dead horse Bo,” Luke replied. “Now we KNOW which side of the
tracks Enos rides on.”
“Wait, hold on now, boys I never said….” Enos was interrupted by Bo and Luke’s
bickering. Meanwhile, our bandit friends were headed right for town square.
“Oh great…you were RIGHT Jo! We ARE headed the wrong way!!” Roxy said.
“I’d say ‘I told ya so’, but it’d be too easy,” Jo said smugly.
“Funny…well, let’s just run through this traffic circle and head back the other way,” (note
that Hazzard Square is one big traffic circle, so you can enter and leave town the same
way you came in one motion) The Mustang speeds through the square at incredible
speed, tearing up the asphalt as it goes. Enos starts to escort Bo and Luke into the
courthouse/jail when he hears the screetching of tires. The three stop and stareat the
speeding Mustang convertible. “Jo, look!” Roxy yelled. The girls pass the parked patrol
car. “Oh no!” He spotted us!!
“Possum on a gumbush! Them bankrobbers escaped!!” Enos starts to squirm.
“Well…we gotta go after em!” Luke said.
“Y’all gonna have to ride in the back with me!” Enos said.
“I think we’d have a better chance if you let us help!” Luke replied.
“I dunno…Sheriff Rosco’d skin me alive if I let you boys go!” Enos said.
“Well just think what Boss and Rosco ‘ll do to ya if them bank robbers get away!” Bo
added.
“Well….alright!” Enos agreed as he uncuffed the boys. But y’all gotta promise to turn
yourselves in once we catch em!”
“Sure thing Enos!” Luke said. “C’mon Bo, we got some bank robbers to catch!”
“Yaahoooooo!!!” Bo scrambled to get the chain off of General Lee. The two Duke boys
slide into the windows. Enos takes off after the robbers, sirens blazing, followed by Bo
and Luke. Followed by….Uncle Jesse? Yes, Uncle Jesse, who joins the chase when he
pulls into the square to see the General Lee and a Hazzard patrol car taking off at high
speed.
“Now what??” Uncle Jesse said to himself. “Things happen so fast around here I can
hardly keep upanymore!”
“Deputy Enos Strate calling Sheriff Rosco! I’m in hot pursuit of them e’x’caped bank
robbers and I’m closin’ in!” No answer. “Sheriff?” Still no answer. “Sheriff???” Bo and
Luke were listening in on the police channel. Rosco meanwhile was struggling to reach
the CB.
“Did ya hear that? That dipstick just might catch em…Oww!! Rosco!! You’re yankin’ my
arm!! You can’t reach it so quit tryin’!” Boss commanded.
“But Boss…I just…” Rosco said.
“You don’t suppost somethin’ happened to Boss and Rosco do ya?” Bo said, concerned.
“Well, whatever’s happened to them we’ll have to deal with later,” Luke replied. Bo
looks in the rear view mirror.
“It’s Unlce Jesse!!” Bo said.
“Haha, guess Daisy gave him the messege!” Luke said. Luke turns the CB dial to channel
6, Jesse’s usual frequency. “Jesse, this here’s Luke, you got your ears on?”
“Go ahead Luke….what’s been happenin?” Jesse replied.
“Well, it’s a long story, so I’ll keep it short…. A coupla girls are gettin away with every red
cent of the banks money, and we may need your help to get it back! Just stay close
behind us, alright?”
“I copy that Luke… if we don’t get that money back today there’s gonna be a lot of angry
customers at the bank tomorrow!” While the boys and Jesse were closing in on the
robbers, Boss and Rosco were all tied up.
“Good news Boss, good news!! ” Said Rosco as he discovered he had a handcuff key on
his belt buckle.
“What?” Boss asked.
“Guess what!….look! look!” Rosco replied as he showed the key to Boss.
“OOOHHH, Thank Heaven, thank Heaven!” Boss rejoiced. “Wait a minute….you mean
to tell me that you had the key ALL THIS TIME???”
“Oooooh…oooh…well uh..” Rosco replied. Boss snatched Rosco’s hat and made a
motion to swing it at him. “Listen…Boss…wait, whoahh!!” Rosco ducked as Boss
repeatedly clubbed him with it.”Wait…gee gee! Boss….the bank robbers, we gotta catch
em rememeber?”
“That’s right!!” Boss said as he stopped swinging. “C’mon, c’mon Rosco, get these cuffs
off!! We gotta save my money!!” Rosco then proceeded to jiggle the key into the
handcuff slot. Meanwhile, Roxy and Jo were dealing with problems of their own. Jo
could faintly hear a police siren coming up from behind her.
“Oh no!! that sheriff is comin’ up behind us!!” Jo said as she looked over her shoulder.
“And them Duke boys are right behid him! Step on it Roxy!!” Roxanne puts the pedal to
the floor and puts it into fifth gear. They start to pull away. Enos puts the pedal to the
floor himself, but is unable to catch up.
“Lucas I do believe they’re gettin’ away!” Bo said as he watched the Mustang pull away
down the road.
“I don’t even think the General could beat that thing on a stragihtaway without a real
good tuneup!!” Luke said. As the bandits were getting away, Boss and Rosco were about
to join the chase.
“C’mon Rosco, take your car and go after em!!” Boss ordered as he ran towards Rosco’s
patrol car, scrambling to put on his hat, followed by Rosco, with keys in hand. Rosco
hops in and starts to back up, before Boss could get in. “Rosco you dang doedoe!! Wait
for me, wait for me!” Rosco stops to let Boss in.
“Ooohh, I’m sorry Boss!” Rosco said. He flips on the siren, and they take off to see if
they can’t catch the robbers. “Enos, this is your superior officer speakin!! Now where’d
you say them robbers were headed? C’mon?”
“Sheriff!!! They’re headed west towards the state line!!” Enos hollared, as Bo, Luke, and
Jesse were listening in on the CB as well.
“The state line? That’s only 5 miles ahead! Luke said with concern.
“That’s right!” Bo agreed. “Hey, if we don’t catch em before they cross the state line….”
“It could all be over!!” Luke said. “Unless……Enos, this here’s Luke! I think we can keep
em from crossin’ the state line if we can get em turned into ehhh……Hopkin’s Trail!
Now, you can play cat and mouse with em while Bo takes one of his world famous
shortcuts!”
“That’s a 10-4 fellas, good luck!” Enos said.
“You fellas be careful,” Jesse added.
“Bo, cut across that dry river bed, we can cut em off that way!” Luke hollared.
“Hang on cousin! Yahooooo!!!” Bo yelled as he turned the wheel sharply to the right.
The General veers off the pavement into a dry river bed, gliding across the dry dirt,
spreading up dust.
“Did ya hear that Rosco?” Boss asked. “Now you head over to Hopkin’s Trail on the
double!”
“I’m gone!” Rosco replied, as they turned onto a dirt road.
“State line’s just two miles ahead,” Jo said to Roxy. We’re gonna make it!”
“Don’t speak too soon, Jo!” Roxy pointed to the right at the river bed. “Look!” The
General Lee climbs up the hill of the river bed, towards the road.
“There’s Hopkin’s Trail, Bo!” Luke yelled. “Cmon, get her up on the road!”
“I’m tryin’ Luke…hold on!” Bo turns the wheel to the left and brings the car on the
pavement,, a few feet in front of the bandits in their Mustang.
“Damn!” Roxy bickered as she turned the wheel to avoid hitting the back end of the
General. “What do we do now?? They got us trapped like a hen in a foxhouse!!”
“Turn off on this next road up ahead!” Jo hollared. Roxy turns off onto Hopkin’s Trail,
while Bo con-tinues straight.
“Alright!!!” Luke yelled.
“Yeeehhaaa!” Bo gave Luke a high five, and hooked a 180 to turn around.
“We lost em, Jo!” Roxy said. Meanwhile, Enos, followed by Unlce Jesse, turned onto
Hopkin’s Trail.
“Hey Luke, now what?” Bo asked, as he turned left onto Hopkins Trail. “All we did was
buy us some time!”
“We’ll just have to keep after em til we can catch a break!” Luke said. Meanwhile, the
girls were speeding down Hopkin’s Trail, with more money in the backseat then the Duke
Family has ever earned in their two hundred years in the states. Meanwhile, Rosco was
heading towards Hopkin’s Crossing on Gretnidge Road.
“C’mon, can’t this thing go any faster?” Boss asked, frustrated.
“Well Boss, if you wouldn’t pocket so much of the county’s tax money we’d have better
patrol cars!”Rosco replied smugly.
“Look, there’s Hopkin’s Crossing!” Boss yelled, pointing to the sign. The bandits were
headed towards the crossing from the south, while Boss and Rosco were heading towards
it from the east.(now i’ll bet you’re all way ahead of what’s comin’).
“ROXY LOOK OUT!!” Jo screamed as the Hazzard County Patrol Car pulled out in front
of the crossing. Roxy tries to turn away but is too late as their Mustang slides into
Rosco’s car on the drivers side.
“AAAHHHH!!!!” Enos screamed as he slid his car into the mustang convertable, creating
a nice little sandwhich of cars, spitting up dust and debris everywhere. Jesse slows his
pickup to a stop and gets out, followed by Bo and Luke.
“Would ya look at that?? Hahahah!” Uncle Jesse chuckles. Bo walks up to Jesse and
puts an armaround Jesse’s shoulder.
“Have you ever seen a prettier sight in your life?” Bo said, laughing, viewing the carnage
of automobiles. Enos quickly gets out of his car with gun in hand.
“Alright….FREEZE! FREEEEEEEZE!!!!” Rosco yelled as he drew his gun, still sitting in
his wrecked patrol car.
“ROSCO you doe doe !!” Boss hit Rosco with his arm. “Get my money will ya??”
“Ooh..right Boss….ENOS!! Get the money will ya, dipstick?” Rosco ordered, while Bo
and Luke laugh in the background.
“Right Sheriff!” Enos grabs the guns from the backseat and hands them to Luke, who
helps him confescate them. The girls have their hands in the air, while Boss runs towards
Enos to grab the money bags. Rosco gets out the passenger side to approach the girls and
handcuff them.
“My money, my money, my beautiful money!!! HAHAHAHA! I’ll never let you get away
again!”Boss kisses the money bags with glee.
“You mean…the county’s money, J.D.” Jesse corrected him.
“That’s what I meant Jesse…once I deduct the money they stole from me..” Boss added.
“Ooohh, Boss, you mean the money you paid the girls to frame the Dukes?” Rosco asked,
as he placed the girls into the backseat of his patrol car.
“ROSCOOOO!!!” Boss screamed.
“Wait just a minute…” Bo said suspiciously. “You mean this whole thing was a dang
frame-up?”
“Well then, looks like we’re in the clear then, huh, Bo?” Luke said confidently.
“No no no no…you AIN’T!!” Boss said authoritavely. Rosco…see..this hot sun is gettin’ to
him,he don’t quite no what he’s sayin….DO YA ROSCO!” Rosco does not answer.
“Alright alright…you Dukes couldn’t prove nothin’ anyway even if ya tried! There’s about
a dozen witnesses….including the bank teller, that will testify that you were aidin’ and
abettin’ these here girls! Rosco, arrest them Duke Boys!”
“Just a minute Hogg!” Jo interrupted. “You arrest these boys and we blow the whistle on
you! Right Roxy?”
“Right Jo,” replied Roxy. “If these boys go to jail we’ll say we took em hostage…and
testify thatYOU paid us off!”
“But YOU can’t….Ahhhhh!!!” Boss grumbled, frustrated, throwing his white hat at the
ground and stomping on it.
“HAHAHAHAHAH!” The Dukes all laugh in unison. Luke starts to disarm the two guns
the girls were carrying, and makes a shocking discovery. “Say girls? Do you always
forget to load your pistols before pulling a heist?” Bo begins laughing histarically . The
girls both smile at Bo and Luke. Naturally, Boss looked at Rosco with his usual
disatisfaction. “Rosco. You’d better be a fast runner,” Cause when I catch
you….you’ll be breathin’ through your hat!!!”
“Ooohh…Boss! Listen…I didn’t know the guns were….ooh…ahhh!” Rosco’s voice trails off
as he races to get away from Boss, who chases him down the road.
“You know, he’s pretty fast for a fat little marshmellow, ain’t he?” Jesse remarked.
So that’s the legend of how Bo and Luke Duke survived the first “double date” bank heist
in the history of Hazzard County. It was later found out that Luke was right, the girls
never DID load their guns. They just hoped nobody would notice! Regardless, the
“unarmed bandits” were sentenced to ten years in the state pen . Boss had to drop all of
his phony charges against the Dukes, but got a good workout when he chased Rosco… for about five miles. Everybody ought to get a little something out this, shouldn’t they?