by: Jamanda

<WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED PG-13>

Tonight on the Dukes: When a streaker starts tearing through Hazzard County, it starts to turn some heads. But what happens when the prime suspect becomes…Daisy Duke?

Rosco and Enos are walking out of the station.

Rosco: Now Enos, you better bring in your quota of tickets for this month.
Enos: But what if there ain’t a lot of people speedin’?
Rosco: That ain’t my problem…you just bring in those tickets and…JUDAS PRIEST ON A PONY!
Enos: What?
Rosco: Don’t look!

But it’s too late. Enos turned bright red and spun back around while Rosco regained his composure.

Rosco: Jit jit…FAREEEEEEEZZZE!
Enos: Is she gone?
Rosco: Done turned the corner! Come on Enos!
Enos: Nuh uh!
Rosco: Enos! This is no time for that! We’ve got ourselves a streaker!

Rosco runs off down the road and Enos follows reluctantly.

Enos: Sometimes I hate my job…

Bo and Luke drive up to Cooter’s, but Cooter is staring off into space.

Bo: Cooter?
Luke: Cooter?
Bo: Hey Cooter!
Cooter: What? Oh. Hey ya’ll missed it!
Luke: Missed what?
Cooter: Oh man, you shoulda seen it.
Bo: Seen what?
Cooter: There I was, just checking the oil of this here T-bird, when here she comes, right across the square and in front of the courthouse, NAKED AS A JAYBIRD!
Bo: Really!? Who?
Cooter: I dunno…but it was definatly a “she”. But I couldn’t see her face.
Bo: I wouldn’t have noticed her face either if I was the one lookin’.
Luke: So uh…what did you see?
Cooter: <grins> Everything else.

The three of them grin and laugh together as Rosco comes over.

Rosco: All right. Now did any of you see that um…
Bo: Shucks Rosco…me and Luke missed it.
Cooter: I saw her though.
Rosco: Can you give a description?
Cooter: Shoot Rosco. You saw her too. Looked just like any other naked woman.
Rosco: Did you catch her hair color?
Cooter: Oh yeah. It was long brown hair.
Luke: Well that could be anybody.
Cooter: And she wore red high heels.
Bo: You remember that?
Cooter: Well I was just wonderin’ how she could run so fast in them things.
Luke: Not too hard I guess. Daisy runs in heels all…the…time.
Rosco: Ooh Oooooh! Thank you very much Luke Duke!
Luke: Wait! You know very well that couldn’t have been Daisy!
Cooter: Yeah, especially with Enos standing right there.
Bo: Enos saw it?
Rosco: For a second. He’s taking a cold shower now. I think it was a bit much for him.
Luke: Well it couldn’t have been Daisy. She’s out at the farm.
Rosco: Well, is there anyone there to confirm that?
Bo: Sure. We’ll CB her right now.

Bo goes over and gets on the CB.

Bo: This is Lost Sheep to Bo Peep. You got your ears on.
Daisy: Right here honey.
Bo: Hey, is uh, Uncle Jesse there with ya?
Daisy: No. He went to Atlanta early this morning.
Bo: Well uh…is there anyone there with ya?
Daisy: No. I’ve been the only one here since you and Luke left for town.

Bo and Luke look at each other while Rosco laughs.

Balladeer: Oh dear. I don’t think Daisy knows what’s coming.

Enos goes into the Boar’s Nest later that day, not liking what he’s there to do. Bo and Luke are over at the bar, talking to Daisy. Enos sighs and walks over.

Daisy: Hey Enos. Guess you’re here to arrest me huh?
Enos: <blushing> ‘fraid so Daisy.
Daisy: You don’t honestly believe it was me do ya?
Enos: It better not have been!
Daisy: <laughs> Oh Enos, of course it wasn’t. Which is why I’ll go ahead and go with ya.
Enos: <raises eyebrow> No runnin’?
Daisy: Nope. And if this little…event…happens while I’m in jail, well that’ll just prove it isn’t me then won’t it?
Enos: <grins> Yeah, you’re right. Well, let’s go then.

They walk out of the bar and Bo and Luke look at each other.

Bo: I still think she should’ve run for it. What if it doesn’t happen again?
Luke: It will. Streakers always come back. And I’ve heard about this one. Been showing up in different towns around here.
Bo: <grins> Well, I hope she shows up again…

Luke gives him a look.

Bo: <blushes> To uh…prove Daisy’s innocent I mean.
Luke: Sure Bo…Sure.

Enos brings Daisy’s lunch down on a tray. In a way, he’s glad she’s there, but he also doesn’t like the idea of her being accused of…the thing she’s been accused of.

Enos: Here ya go Daisy.
Daisy: Thanks Enos. Ain’t you gonna eat?
Enos: Oh I had something earlier from the Busy Bee.
Daisy: Do you always eat out?
Enos: I’m a lousy cook Daisy.
Daisy: <giggles> You need a woman to cook for ya then.
Enos: <grins and laughs> I…I know I do…I’m just waiting….for the right one you know.

Daisy giggles as Enos turns red.

Meanwhile, Bo, Luke, and Cooter are positioned at the garage, watching Rosco across the street.

Bo: What is he doing?
Cooter: He got his camera out. I guess he reckons he can identify the streaker if he’s got a good photo.
Luke: I think he just wants a photo…
Bo: Luke!
Luke: Hey…Rosco might be old, but he ain’t dead.
Cooter: <laughs> I guess not. He looks all excited.
Bo: Well he can’t believe it’s Daisy then if he’s all ready to catch her.
Cooter: Here she comes!
Luke: Who’s that with her?
Bo: It’s a guy!
Cooter: That…is obvious.
Bo: Dang it! That hat covers his face just like her hair does!
Cooter: Same red high heels though.
Luke: Is it just me? Or did that look like a sheriff’s hat?

The three of them look at each other, now that the two streakers have disappeared around the corner, Rosco running after them on foot with the camera. Rosco comes back a minute later, a stunned look on his face.

Rosco: I don’t believe it…but it hada been them…it hada been.
Bo: <running up> Did ya get a picture Rosco?
Rosco: Huh…oh yeah…I got it.
Cooter: Guess this proves it ain’t Daisy huh?
Rosco: Are you kiddin’? Didn’t you see ’em? I got the pictures to prove it.
Luke: Rosco! You can’t be serious!
Rosco: I wouldn’t have believed it myself, but I saw it with my own two beady little eyes! And I got it on film.
Luke: Come on Bo.
Bo: Where?
Luke: Back to the jail!

Bo and Luke race back to the jail with Rosco and Cooter right behind them. When they arrive, Daisy is sitting in her cell as Enos is coming out of the men’s room, buttoning up his shirt.

Balladeer: I don’t know about you, but this sure don’t look good to me.

Enos sits in the jail cell with Daisy, still confused as to why he’s in there, as Daisy has Luke explain it again.

Daisy: So there were two of them?
Luke: Yes.
Daisy: Male and female.
Bo: Very much so.
Daisy: And the girl had long brown hair and red heels.
Luke: Right. Just like the one’s you’re wearing.
Daisy: Anybody can get red heels Luke. Now this fella. What’d you make of him?
Luke: We told ya. Had nothing on but a pair of black cowboy boots and a sheriff’s hat.
Enos: <groans> Just like mine?
Bo: Just like yours.
Luke: Please tell me it wasn’t you two.
Daisy: LUKAS KENNETH DUKE YOU KNOW VERY WELL IT WASN’T!
Bo: Then why was Enos putting his shirt back on?
Enos: What? I spilled coffee on my other one and I had to change it. Then ya’ll come bustin’ in here and the sheriff threw me in here.
Daisy: But we’ve been here the whole time.
Luke: Well we believe ya, but the evidence says otherwise.
Bo: Yeah. Especially once Rosco develops those pictures.
Daisy: Pictures?
Enos: Yeah, he said he was gonna try to get a picture. He wanted me to take it but I told him I’d just stay here and keep an eye on you.
Bo: Hmmmm…take a picture of a naked lady?….keep an eye on Daisy?….
Enos: Now Bo, you know that’s a no brainer for me.

Daisy giggles at Enos, who blushes, as Rosco comes down the stairs with the photograph and Boss.

Rosco: Good news, good news, I got the evidence right here Daisy Duke. I must say, I don’t know how you talked Enos into doin’ it with ya.
Enos: Now Sheriff, you know that wasn’t me!
Rosco: You hush. I got the evidence right here.
Boss: My my, I never would have thought.
Luke: Let me see that.
Rosco: There it is, plain as day.
Bo: But you only got their backs.
Rosco: But the evidence is that hat. Now you both know that only Enos has a hat like that and he must’ve let Daisy out so they could go on their little run.
Boss: While my bank was being robbed!
Luke: The bank was robbed?
Boss: Yes! While this lamebrain <points to Rosco> was chasing this one <points to Enos> a couple of crooks broke into my bank and ran out the back door!
Rosco: So you see? It was all a diversion! Daisy here was hired to distract the law so they could rob the bank.
Enos: But Sheriff…
Rosco: Then this love-sick dipstick, oooh, that rhymes….
Boss: Oh never mind if it rhymes or not. Daisy obviously talked Enos into running around with her, to make sure he and Rosco were both distracted during the robbery.
Daisy: That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.
Rosco: Tell it to the judge…
Boss: I am the judge.
Rosco: Oh right. Shoot and she don’t have to tell you cuz you already know you little rascal <pinches Boss’s cheek>
Boss: <waves hand> Oh you cut that out! Now. Visiting hours are over. Everybody out.
Luke: We’ll be back.
Bo: Yeah, with the bail money.
Luke: If we can afford it.
Bo: I don’t know if I wanna tell Uncle Jesse about this.
Luke: I sure don’t…we’ll have to draw straws.

Balladeer: I wouldn’t want to tell ol’ Jesse either.

Outside of town, a young couple gets out of an old truck and meets up with Boss at the Hazzard Coffin Works.

Boss: I gotta hand it to you people. I thought framing Daisy Duke was good, but Enos as well?
Girl: It was his idea.
Guy: Couldn’t let her have all the fun.
Girl: You’re not mad are ya?
Boss: Of course not. That deputy’s too honest for his own good. Always spoils my plans. But the people like him too much for me to get rid of him.
Guy: So we did you a favor?
Boss: In a way yes. With him and Daisy both out of the picture, all my money safe with you…
Girl: Minus our cut.
Boss: Oh yeah yeah…and all that insurance money I aim to collect.
Guy: Sure was a brilliant plan Boss.
Girl: Sure was.
Boss: Now you two make yourselves scarce. And no more streaking.
Girl: (takes off wig) How would we be recognized? I’m a blond remember?
Guy: And all the blame is on them anyway.
Boss: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. You just get rid of that hat and that wig and we’ll be home free.

Balladeer: You know, I was wonderin’ if ol’ Boss was in on all this. Don’t surprise me one bit.

Meanwhile, Enos and Daisy can’t figure out what to do, as Cooter visits them at lunchtime.

Enos: I’m awful sorry ’bout this Daisy.
Daisy: Oh Enos. It ain’t your fault.
Enos: It ain’t yours either. I just wish I knew who them naked people were.
Daisy: Well it’d be awful hard to find out. There ain’t much you can tell about a person from your backside…not unless you got a birthmark or something back there.
Cooter: <raising an eyebrow> a mark or something?
Daisy: But that don’t help us none. Them backsides didn’t have any marks on ’em at all.

But Cooter just grins and looks at Enos, who suddenly looks horrified and backs away.

Enos: Oh no…oh no…you don’t mean…?
Cooter: <still grinning> Hey Sheriff!? Sheriff Rosco!?
Enos: Cooter! No!
Rosco: <coming downstairs> All right you dipstick. What do you want?
Cooter: Sheriff, if I can prove that it ain’t Enos in that picture, would that also prove that it ain’t Daisy?
Rosco: Well…if you can PROVE that it ain’t him, then I have to believe his testimony that he was in here with Daisy. He is an officer of the law.
Cooter: Which would prove it ain’t her either.
Rosco: Well yes…but Cooter, how do you aim to do that?
Enos: <shaking head> Don’t make me do it Cooter.
Cooter: Enos, you wanna get out of jail or not?
Enos: But…
Cooter: It’d get Daisy off the hook too you know.
Enos: DOH!

Enos turns bright red and buries his face in his hands while Daisy stares at him perplexed.

Cooter: Sheriff, if you would be so kind as to produce the photograph…
Rosco: Oh yeah…it’s right here.
Cooter: Now, as a witness and the taker of this here photograph…do you swear that there are no marks of any kind on…these people…in this particular area? <points to photograph>
Rosco: Of course I will…the evidence shows that.
Cooter: You hear that Daisy? He swears it.
Daisy: I did hear it…but what…?
Cooter: Now Miss Daisy…if you would be so kind as to turn around…
Daisy: What?
Enos: Turn around Daisy…please?

Daisy shrugs and turns around.

Rosco: Cooter…what are you…
Cooter: Go ahead Enos.
Enos: I ain’t ever gonna forget this.
Rosco: Enos? What are you…JIT JIT!…Oooh oooh…What the?…
Cooter: The defense rests.
Daisy: What is it?
Enos: Never you mind.
Rosco: Enos…now when did you get that?
Enos: I lost a bet okay? Swore off gamblin’ for life after that.
Rosco: Lost a bet? To who?
Cooter: Well how’d you think I knew about it? He ain’t ever told nobody else.
Enos: And nobody else is gonna hear about this either right?
Rosco: Well…only those who need to know…to prove your innocence anyway.
Daisy: Can I turn around now?
Enos: Yeah.

Daisy turns around to see Cooter with a grin (almost as big as Enos’s usually is), Rosco wide-eyed, and Enos with his face buried in his hands.

Daisy: You okay Enos?
Enos: No.
Rosco: Oh get over it you dipstick. I won’t tell nobody about your tattoo.
Enos: SHERIFF!
Rosco: Oops.
Daisy: A tattoo? Enos, you have a tattoo?

Rosco decides against letting them out of the cell at that time and runs upstairs.

Enos: ROSCO P. COLTRANE IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU SHERIFF OR NOT I’M GONNA…
Daisy: Enos…

Daisy pulls him back as Cooter also laughs and runs off after Rosco.

Enos: I’ll shoot ’em both.
Daisy: Can’t be that bad. Why didn’t you tell me you had a tattoo?
Enos: It ain’t fittin’ for me to have one in the first place…
Daisy: But it did prove us innocent though…them streakers didn’t have any tattoos.
Enos: I suppose…
Daisy: I don’t suppose you’d let me see it.
Enos: Absolutly not!
Daisy: <giggles> Oh Enos.

She leans close to him and whispers in his ear. Enos turns red and nods.

Daisy: That’s where I thought it was.
Enos: Not a word to anyone about this now.
Daisy: Not a word…on one condition.
Enos: What’s that?
Daisy: What is it a tattoo of?
Enos: I ain’t tellin’…there ain’t no way I’m tellin’…
Daisy: All right then…I suppose Bo and Luke would like to know about it then…
Enos: THAT’S BLACKMAIL!
Daisy: That’s right.

Enos sighs and fidgets and finally whispers in her ear.

Daisy: The flower? Or my name?
Enos: The flower.
Daisy: You have a tattoo of a daisy on your…
Enos: HUSH!
Daisy: My goodness…you do know how to flatter a girl.

Enos turns red as Daisy snuggles up to him.

Balladeer: You know, I wonder when ol’ Rosco’s gonna let them out?

Balladeer: Well, ol’ Rosco ain’t gonna be facing Enos anytime soon, so he figured he’d better get on out there and help the Dukes find whoever it was that robbed the bank. Now ol’ Rosco didn’t know it was Boss, cuz Boss didn’t tell Rosco, cuz Rosco’d want a cut. You follow?

Rosco comes into Boss’s office as Boss is talking to a young couple.

Rosco: Oh, sorry to interrupt Boss but…
Boss: Rosco. I am in the middle of some very important business with these here young people.
Rosco: <eyeing couple> Oh…hello there.
Girl: Now Boss…about our um…deal?
Boss: Oh yeah…well you just wait on that and I’ll get back to you.
Guy: We can’t wait too long. We need to get moving on.

Rosco eyes the couple as they walk out. Something about them is familiar. Bo and Luke also see them walking out of the Boar’s Nest as they drive up in the General Lee.

Bo: Hey…does that truck they’re driving seem familiar?
Luke: Yeah…I saw a truck like that in town…right after…
Bo: Them streakers went through?
Luke: Let’s tail ’em.
Bo: You got it.

Balladeer: Now Bo and Luke don’t know that Enos and Daisy are already off the hook, so they’re following any lead they can to catch the real streakers.

Bo: Would you look at that?
Luke: Hazzard Coffin Works.

Bo and Luke sneak in and see the couple talking to some other people. They overhear a plan to use a “special” method to rob the bank in the next town.

Girl: It was just too easy to pin the blame on those two locals.
Guy: Yeah…and one of them’s a cop!

They all bust up laughing, just as Rosco bursts in. Bo and Luke are shocked to see him.

Rosco: FREEEEEZE! You’re all under arrest!

Balladeer: Well what d’ya know? Rosco’s actually got good timing.

Bo and Luke watch perplexed as Rosco arrests the streakers and the bank robbers.

Bo: Well I’ll be danged.
Luke: We better get out of here.
Bo: Yeah. If Rosco finds us, he’ll think we’re with them.

Bo and Luke head back to town and happen to “bump” into Rosco as he’s bringing in the prisoners to an irate Boss.

Boss: Rosco! You….
Rosco: Good news! Good news! I caught these streakers and the people who robbed your bank. Lookee here, I got all your money back too.
Boss: <growls and grabs money> How’m I supposed to collect insurance if I get it back.
Luke: Well Rosco, I guess this means Daisy’s off the hook right?
Bo: And Enos too.
Rosco: Well of course, I already knew it wasn’t them. I figured it might be this lady when I saw her pretty red shoes she’s got on there, and then I found these.

Rosco produces a wig and a police hat.

Rosco: Thought you’d outfox the Sheriff did ya? Well, shame shame, everybody knows your name! Come on now.

Rosco ushers them into the jail. Bo and Luke stare at each other as Boss storms off after Rosco. Enos and Daisy come out shortly after.

Daisy: Hey fellas!
Luke: Hey!
Enos: How about that? The sheriff was able to catch ’em.
Daisy: Well he had to, seein’ as he knew it wasn’t us.
Bo: But how did he know it wasn’t ya’ll?
Daisy: Well see…
Enos: <clapping hand over her mouth> Hush. That there’s official police business.
Rosco: <coming out and grumbling> Well if he had TOLD me it was for insurance money…
Luke: Hey Rosco! That was some arrest.
Rosco: It sure was.
Bo: But how’d you know it wasn’t Daisy and Enos?
Rosco: <looks at Enos> Because I know Enos wouldn’t lie, that’s how. Now you Dukes go on and git. And you get in there and watch them prisoners.

Rosco and Enos go back in the station while Bo and Luke walk off with Daisy.

Luke: They hidin’ something Daisy?
Daisy: <grins> You heard the man. Official police business.

Balladeer: Now if I knew, what Daisy knows, I’d probably be grinnin’ like that too. Now the Dukes decided to cool off the whole thing at the Boar’s Nest, when who should show up from the Celebrity Speed Trap…but the legendary Ray Stevens himself.

Ray Stevens:
Hello everybody, this is your action news reporter
With all the news that is news across the nation
On the scene at the super market
There seems to have been some disturbance here
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did…I was standing over there by the tomatoes
And here he come
Running thru the pole beans, thru the fruits and vegetables
Naked as a jay-bird
And I hollered over at Ethel…Isaid don’t look Ethel
It was too late, she’d already been incensed…

Here he comes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
There he goes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
And he ain’t wearin’ no clothes

Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He’s just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He’s gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there’s an audience to be found
He’ll be streakin’ around
Invitin’ public critique…

This is your action news reporter once again
And we’re here at the gas station
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did…I was just in here gettin’ my tires checked
And he just appeared out of the traffic
Come streakin’ around the grease rack there
Didn’t have nothing on but a smile
I looked in there and Ethel was gettin’ her a cold drink
I hollered…Don’t look Ethel
It was too late…She’d already been mooned
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers

He ain’t rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He ain’t lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He’s just in the mood to run in the nude

Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to turn the other cheek
He’s always making the news
Wearin’ just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique…
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym
Covering the disturbance at the basketball playoffs
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did…half-time, I was just going down there
To get Ethel a snow cone
Here he come right our of the cheap seats
Dribblin’…right down the middle of the court
Didn’t have on nothin’ but his PF’s
Made a hook shot and got out thru the concession stand
I hollered up at Ethel, I said don’t look Ethel
It was too late…She’d already got a free shot
Grandstanded…Right there in front of the home team

<Dukes cast sings Chorus>

Here he comes again…who’s that with him?
Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you’re doing?
You get your clothes on!
Ethel, where you going?
Ethel, you shameless hussy
Say it isn’t so Ethel
Ethel………………

**Note: Lyrics for The Streak taken from Ray Steven’s official website.

by: Jamanda

Author’s note: This story is told from Daisy’s perspective.

It was raining again. I don’t care for rain sometimes because I have to hang all of the laundry inside and everybody gets tangled up in shirts and pants. Uncle Jesse was drinking a cup of coffee and Bo was doing the morning dishes when Luke came in with the mail.

“Another catalog,” he told Uncle Jesse, tossing it to him.
“I swear,” said Uncle Jesse, catching it. “If they send us these Christmas catalogs any earlier, they’ll be coming on the Fourth of July.”
“Anything for me?” asked Bo.
“Not unless you know anyone in California,” said Luke, grinning at me.
“Give me that!” I squealed jumping after Luke.

Luke teased me a bit by holding it over his head, but I managed to get it from him when he got tangled in a pair of his own long johns.

I gazed at the letter for a minute. It seemed like it had been ages since I’d gotten one, which made it all the more precious. Then I noticed that this one didn’t look like the others.

“Hey,” I said. “I don’t think this is from Enos.”
“It’s not?” asked Bo.
“No,” I said. “This isn’t his handwriting and it has no return address.”
“But it is from California right?” asked Luke, freeing himself from the long johns. “The postmark says L.A.”
“Yeah,” I said, opening it.

Dear Miss Duke,

I’m afraid I have some bad news, but I’m sure Enos would want me to tell you. Two days ago, he was injured in the line of duty. Please try not to worry, but he is in the hospital right now. I’ve included several phone numbers where you can reach me if you would like to check up on him.

Turk Adams

I read it several times before handing it to Uncle Jesse, who read it, nodded, and handed it to Bo. Bo read it, sighed, and gave it to Luke, who didn’t seem to need to read it.

“He’s hurt isn’t he?” Luke said.
“He’s in the hospital,” I said. “I need to call.”
“Go ahead,” Uncle Jesse said.

I grabbed the phone.

“Maybelle,” I said. “I need to call California…”

Maybelle tried the home number first, but Turk wasn’t there, so she tried to office number. Someone at the office told her he was at the hospital and forwarded us there.

“This is Turk.”
“Turk,” I said. “This is Daisy. I just got your letter.”
“Okay Daisy,” he said. “Are you sitting down?”
“Uh yeah,” I said, pulling up a chair and sitting. “What happened? Is Enos okay?”
“All right then,” he said. “We were apprehending a gang of drug dealers. One of them was resisting arrest and managed to hit Enos over the head with the butt of a gun. We had back-up come in to take the guy away, but Enos was knocked out, so I took him to the hospital.”
“Oh my,” I said, trying to take it all in. “How is he?”
“I’m not sure,” said Turk. “He uh…hasn’t woke up yet. He’s in a coma.”
I gasped.
“I’m coming out there!”
“No you’re not!” said Turk firmly. “You stay there with your family and keep in touch. If he doesn’t wake up in the next couple of days, then the department can bring you out here. But for now, just take it easy and let the doctors to their job.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “But you let me know the minute he wakes up!”
“I will.”

The next two days went by way too slow. With Maybelle connecting my phone calls, it wasn’t long until everyone in Hazzard knew about Enos. The minister of the Methodist church called a prayer vigil for him, to which even Boss and Rosco showed up.

Boss was being especially kind to me. He offered to give me a couple of days off, but I wanted to work to make the time pass by faster, so he let me call California from the Boar’s Nest.

“How is he?” I asked.
“He’s stirring a little,” Turk told me. “They think he’s coming out of it.”
“Oh thank goodness!” I said. “Can you call as soon as he does?”

I gave him the number for the Boar’s Nest as I was working the rest of the day.

“Is he awake yet?” Cooter asked.
“He’s stirring,” I said, grinning.
“That’s a good sign,” said Luke. “I’ll bet he wakes up today.”
“And I bet I know the first thing he says,” Bo laughed.
“Possum on a gumbush,” Luke said, imitating Enos’s voice. “What happened?”
“Oh you!” I laughed.

I hated it when Luke would imitate Enos like that. It made me miss him more than usual.

Maybelle was great at her job, as most of Hazzard county showed up at the Boar’s Nest, waiting along with me for the phone to ring. I could tell Boss was enjoying the extra business, but he was polite enough to hold it in. Everyone jumped when the phone rang and I ran over to it.

“Boar’s Nest,” I said. “Daisy speaking.”
“He’s awake Daisy.”
“He’s awake!” I called out to everybody.

There was a round of “YEEE HAAA” and Boss bought drinks for everybody while Rosco tried to quiet them down.

“Let the girl listen,” he said. “We gotta make sure he’s okay don’t we? Now HUSH!”

“So how is he?” I asked. “Can I talk to him?”
“He’s a little confused,” said Turk. “Um…are you sitting down?”
“Uh huh,” I said, sitting on a barstool. I didn’t like that question, seeing as what I found out last time he asked.
“Daisy,” said Turk. “He doesn’t remember who he is.”
“He doesn’t?” I asked. “You mean…?”
“He’s got amnesia,” said Turk. “He doesn’t remember a thing.”

I wasn’t sure what to think. I got off the phone after a while and everyone in the Boar’s Nest was looking at me.

“What is it Daisy?” Uncle Jesse asked.
“Amnesia,” I said. “He’s awake…but he doesn’t remember anything.”

Uncle Jesse held me as everyone else looked at each other.

“Now don’t you worry your pretty little head now Daisy,” said Bo. “I had amnesia once, remember?”
“That’s right,” said Luke. “He’ll get better.”
“I hope so,” I said. “I still wish I could see him.”
“Maybe you will,” said Uncle Jesse.

I wasn’t sure what Uncle Jesse meant by that until later that week. Turk called and let us know that he was bringing Enos to Hazzard.

“The doctors say that going back to the place where he grew up might trigger something,” he told me. “Frankly, I’m hoping YOU might be able to trigger something.”
“Maybe,” I said. I couldn’t help but smile.
“We’ll be flying out in two days,” said Turk. “Think you can meet us in Atlanta?”

We arranged it so that Bo and Luke would meet them in Atlanta with the General. I wanted Enos to see me in the Boar’s Nest, as that’s where he usually saw me anyway. That was the plan…and it didn’t work worth a pitcher of spit.

I was more nervous than Boss at tax time as I waited for the boys to show up with Enos. I couldn’t figure out why. It was just Enos. The same Enos that’s had a crush on me since seventh grade. The same one who wrote me nearly every week when he ran off to California. The same one I almost married. But the thought of seeing him again somehow made me nervous enough to jump out of my skin when the phone rang.

“Boar’s Nest,” I said. “This is Daisy.”
“Uh Daisy,” I heard Luke say. “Um…we might be a little late.”
“Why?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
“Well uh…we kinda lost Enos.”
“YOU WHAT!!!???”
“He wandered off,” Luke said quickly. “We can’t find him anywhere.”
“Luke Duke!” I yelled. “You find him or heaven help me…”
“We’ll find him Daisy,” said Luke. “What is it Bo?…What?…OUR CAR???”
“Now what?” I asked, wondering how this could possibly get any worse.
“Bo says that our car is gone,” said Luke as Bo was rambling in the background. “Some guy jumped into it and drove off.”
“Well you find Enos before you worry about that car,” I snapped. “Cause if he gets hurt…”
“We’ll find him Daisy,” said Luke. “I gotta go…”
“You better!” I yelled as Luke hung up.

I slammed the phone down and sighed. Now I was nervous AND worried. Enos could be anywhere. What if he couldn’t find his way home?

Now so ya’ll don’t get confused, I’ll fill you in on what happened, even though I didn’t find out about all of this until later.

Enos had indeed wandered off. Turk had left for the bathroom and told him to stay put, but Enos’s short-term memory wasn’t working up to par either. He simply wandered outside the airport and saw an orange car. An orange car that looked familiar.

Now Enos knew he had amnesia and the doctors told him to try his best to find things that looked familiar. So when he saw that car, he figured it must have belonged to him, since it looked so familiar. Naturally, he tried to open the doors, and seeing as they wouldn’t open, he figured out that it was a race car, like Richard Petty’s. So he climbed in through the window, hotwired it, and drove off.

It’s funny how amnesia works. Enos didn’t know who he was, who his friends were, or where he was going, but he did remember who Richard Petty was, that racing cars have doors welded shut, and how to hotwire a car when you don’t have keys (although he didn’t remember that it was Cooter who taught him how two years before). He also remembered how to drive when people are chasing you, which is what the Atlanta police were doing when they saw him tearing through town.

The city driving came real natural to him, as Enos had driven plenty in L.A., and crazy enough to make his partner see a psychiatrist. Once he lost the Atlanta police, he instinctively pulled onto the highway going north…towards Hazzard county. He wasn’t sure why he was going that way, but I think all good ol’ boys have little homing devices that kick in and bring them home. Not only that, but I think the General wanted to go home too.

Anyhow, you can imagine how surprised I was to look up and see Enos stroll right into the Boar’s Nest and order a beer.

“Sorry?” I asked.
“A beer ma’am,” he said. “I’m parched.”
“Well sure,” I said. “But the beer here is awfully watered down. Sure you don’t want something else?”
“Anything wet really,” Enos said, looking around. “I’m just thirsty and the sign said ‘Cold Beer’.”
“Sure thing,” I said, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

Enos would’ve never forgiven me if he knew I had served him beer, so I got him a buttermilk like he always had before. He looked at me funny, but drank it anyway as I called Luke back.

“He’s what?” Luke asked.
“He’s here,” I said. “And your car is parked out front.”
“How in the…?”
“Never mind that,” I said. “Just take the bus up here as quick as you can. He doesn’t recognize me and he was trying to order beer!”
“Woah,” said Luke. “His mind must be shot if he forgot that he doesn’t drink.”
“Oh no,” I said, seeing Enos wander out the door. “I gotta go! Get back quick!”

I hung up and ran after him, but Enos was already off again. The General tore out of the lot just as Rosco was pulling in.

“Jit jit!” Rosco said, doing a double take. “That looked like Enos driving the General Lee!”
“It is,” I said, running up. “Get after him Rosco! We’ve already lost him once! I’ll be right behind you!”
“Oh good grief,” said Rosco. “The dipstick really has lost his mind.”

I climbed in my Jeep and followed Rosco, who radioed Cletus to try and cut the General off. But apparantly, Enos wasn’t having any of it. He jumped the General over Hazzard pond and poor Rosco wound up splashing into it. Cletus kept him from turning onto the main road, so the rest was up to me.

“This is Bo Peep to Shepherd and Crazy C,” I called over the cb. “Ya’ll got your ears on?”
“This is Crazy Cooter comin’ at ya…what’s your twenty?”
“I’m chasing the General down Old Willow Road…Think you can cut him off?”
“I’m on my way Daisy.”

Cooter pulled through and cut Enos off. We both got out and ran up to the General. He was just sitting there laughing.

“He has lost it,” Cooter mumbled.
“Whoo Whee,” Enos laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun! You folks do this a lot?”
“All the time,” I said. “Now Enos, you git out of there before Bo and Luke decide to press charges for you stealing their car.”
“Who?” Enos asked, climbing out of the General. “And who are you? And how do you know my name?”
“We’re your friends,” said Cooter. “And Bo and Luke were going to pick you up when you done run off in their car. At least you remembered how to hotwire it.”
“You never should’ve taught him that Cooter,” I scolded. “Now Enos, you come with me back to the farm.”
“Sure thing pretty lady,” said Enos, looking me over. “I won’t argue with that.”

Now Enos had looked at me plenty of times before, but for some reason I didn’t care for the way he was looking at me now.

I told Cooter to tow the General back to town and meet Bo and Luke at the bus depot. Then I took Enos to the farm.

“Doesn’t any of this look familiar?” I asked him.
“Sure don’t,” said Enos, looking around. “Just that car. You’re looking a little familiar though…”
“Really?”

He was grinning and staring at my legs.

“You ain’t lustin’ are you Enos?” I asked.
“No,” he said, sitting up quickly. “What makes you think that?”
“You were staring at my legs.”
“Well you can’t expect a fella not to,” he said, looking at me again. “Especially when you wear shorts like that.”
“Oh Enos,” I sighed. “Don’t you remember anything?”
“Like I said,” he told me. “I remember that orange car…”
“Exactly what was the car doing?”
“It was…speeding down the road…and I was in a car behind it…there were three of them.”

I did a double take and almost went off the road.

“Easy honey,” he said. “What’d I say?”
“You remember three of them?” I asked.
“I know it’s crazy but…”
“No it’s not,” I said. “There was a time where we had three of them. Do you remember what happened?”

Enos actually stopped staring at my legs and sat back. He stared off into space until I reached the farm.

“Uncle Jesse!” I called. “We’re here!”
“There ya are,” said Uncle Jesse. “I heard ya on the CB but the truck won’t start. What in tarnation’s been goin’ on?”
“Who’s that?” Enos asked.
“This is Uncle Jesse,” I said, getting out of the Jeep.
“Oh there you are Enos,” said Uncle Jesse. “Come on inside.”
“Okay,” said Enos. “I still don’t get why you’d need three of the same car.”
“What?” Uncle Jesse asked.
“Never mind,” I said. “Just keep an eye on him. He tends to wander off.”
“Where you going?” Enos asked.
“I gotta get back to work,” I said. “You stay here with Uncle Jesse and try to remember.”
“Remember what?”
“Anything!” I said.
“Well you don’t have to get all huffy about it,” Enos scowled. “Just cuz I was looking at your legs.”

Uncle Jesse stared at me and I just sighed and got back in the Jeep.

“Remember Uncle Jesse,” I called. “Don’t leave him out of your sight for a minute!”

As I drove off, Enos turned to Uncle Jesse.

“She don’t trust me do she?” he said.
“After what you just said,” said Uncle Jesse. “I don’t trust you either. Now git!”

I looked in my rear-view mirror at Uncle Jesse ushering Enos into the house.

“Oh Enos,” I sighed. “What’s happened to you?”

Uncle Jesse told me later that he had to put Enos to work doing chores to keep him from wandering off. Even then, Enos kept sneaking into my room and going through my closet.

“Whoo whee,” Enos said, going through some unmentionables. “I sure would like to see her in this!”
“ENOS!” Uncle Jesse yelled. “HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE! NOW GIT YOU DIPSTICK!”

Uncle Jesse chased him out again when suddenly Enos stopped.

“What’d you call me?” he asked.
“I called you a dipstick!” Uncle Jesse scolded.
“Dipstick?”

Uncle Jesse noticed that Enos was starting to remember something.

“Hold on,” said Uncle Jesse, grabbing the CB. “Just sit down here…This is Jesse Duke calling Sherriff Rosco…”
“This is Sherriff Roscoooo P. Coltrane here…What do you want Jesse?”
“I got that old deputy of yours here,” said Uncle Jesse. “And he seems to recall the word ‘dipstick'”
“Well of course he does…he IS a dipstick!…I remind of that all the time.”
“Well,” said Uncle Jesse. “I think you ought to come over and remind him again…”

Just then, Uncle Jesse heard an engine revving up.

“Hey Mister!” Enos called. “I found out the problem with your truck! The gearshift was stuck in neutral!”
“Enos!” Uncle Jesse yelled. “You git back here!”
“Nuh uh,” said Enos, putting the truck into gear. “I’m gonna find that good lookin’ girl. Ha ha!”

With that, Enos was off again.

“ENOS!” Uncle Jesse called after him. “Oh, that boy without his memory is worse than Bo and Luke put together! And that’s saying something!”
“Jesse?” Rosco said over the CB. “Did he just do what it sounds like he just did?”
“Rosco,” said Jesse, into the CB. “I’d like to report a stolen truck…you know what it looks like…Oh, and when you find him…LOCK HIM UP AND MAKE SURE HE DON’T GO NOWHERES!”
“That’s a BIG 10-4 Jesse,” said Rosco. “Which way’d he go?”

Balladeer: Well, Enos was tearing down the road like a bat out of…well you get my point…and he was lovin’ every minute of it.

“Enos you dipstick!” Rosco yelled into the CB. “What do you think you’re doing? Pull it over before you hurt somebody!”
“You ain’t the boss of me,” Enos radioed back. “And neither is anybody else! Ha!”
“Oh he’s asking for it Flash,” Rosco mumbled. “He’s done gone insubordinate!”
Flash barked.
“That’s right,” said Rosco, picking up the CB again. “This is Sherriff Rosco P. Coltrane calling deputy Cletus Hogg, you got your ears on lugnut?”
“Right here Rosco.”
“I’m following a stolen vehicle down Old Mill Road. I want you to cut him off at the junction.”

Balladeer: What Rosco don’t know is that Enos somehow knew to switch his CB to the police frequency, and found out that another lawman was about to cut him off.

“Well, we’ll just see about that,” Enos grinned.

Enos turns off right before the junction and Rosco and Cletus turn sideways and crash into each other.

“See you later suckers!” Enos called out the window.

“Doh!” Rosco yelled. “Now he’s gone too far. He done scuffed my vehicle on purpose!”
“Who did?” Cletus asked.
“THAT DURN DIPSTICK!”
“You mean that’s Enos?”
“No,” said Rosco in a sarcastic tone. “It’s the queen of Sheba. Of course it’s Enos. He don’t know who he is so he’s done turned into some kind of…”
“Idiot?”
“Worse than that.”
“A theif?”
“Right,” said Rosco. “Now I’m gonna follow him and you try to cut him off again.”
“Right.”

Enos, seeing that he lost Rosco, turns into the Boar’s Nest. I was a bit surprised to see him.

“Enos!” I scolded. “What are you doing in here?”
“I came to see you pretty lady,” he said, putting his arms around my waist.
“Well you’re supposed to be back at the farm with Uncle Jesse.”
“But he don’t let me do anything…”
“Oh Enos,” I sighed. “You’re acting like a two-year-old.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes!”
“Well, would a two-year-old do this?”

With that, he pulled me forward and kissed me. I didn’t notice at the time, but he was also pulling my keys out of my back pocket. I was taken aback at first, then I pushed him away.

“What has gotten into you!?” I gasped, not sure weather to slap him or not.
“A whole lotta lovin’ baby!”

Just then, Rosco and Cletus burst in.

“There he is!” Rosco yelled. “Freeeeeze!”
“Uh oh,” Enos said. “Gotta go!”

Enos escaped out the back door as Rosco and Cletus chased him. He jumped into my Jeep and took off again.

“What?” Rosco said. “He done switched vehicles!”
“MY CAR!” I yelled.
“Was that really Enos?” Cletus asked.
“ROSCO YOU GET MY CAR BACK!” I screamed.
“I’m gone Daisy,” Rosco said.

Rosco and Cletus took off after Enos again.

“Flash,” Rosco said. “I’m startin’ to get a terrible headache.”
Flash barked.

Balladeer: I agree with both of them. I’m gettin’ a headache just watching this.

I got in the car with Cletus during the chase. Enos was really having a good time with my Jeep. He took it cross country to get away from us.

Rosco: (over CB) Cletus, get over on highway 26 in case he gets off.
Cletus: Right Sherriff.

I was sitting in a daze next to Cletus. I still hadn’t fully recovered from Enos kissing me like that. Part of me wanted to slap him, but most of me wanted him to do it again. He hadn’t ever kissed me like that before.

We got on the highway and headed back to town, but didn’t see Enos or my Jeep.

“Hey stop by Cooter’s,” I said. “Bo and Luke should be back by now and they can help out.”
“Good idea,” said Cletus.

Cooter was chatting with Bo and Luke in front of the garage. Turk was making a phone call.

“I know Chief,” said Turk. “Don’t worry…Everything is under control…I’m sure he’ll be better in no time…Yes sir…Bye.”
“Hey Daisy,” said Bo. “Where’s Enos?”
“I wish I knew,” said Daisy. “He’s gone and taken my car and Rosco’s chasing him cross country.”
“What again?” Turk asked.
“He took Jesse’s truck earlier,” said Cletus, with a slight laugh. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was trying to figure out which one’s his.”
“Well come on,” said Luke. “We better go help ol’ Rosco.”

Bo and Luke took off in the General and Cooter and Turk took the towtruck. As Cletus and I were leading the way, Rosco came on the CB.

Rosco: (over CB) This is Sherriff Rosco P. Coltrane calling Cooter Davenport.
Cooter: Crazy Cooter comin’ atcha.
Rosco: I done gone into the pond again. That dipstick made a sharp curve and I wasn’t able to stop.

I moaned as we all went out to Hazzard pond. Cooter towed Rosco’s car out while the rest of us drove around to see if there were any signs of Enos.

“Hey,” I called. “I see my Jeep.”

Cletus stopped and let me out. I ran over and found my Jeep in a cluster of trees.

“Well,” I said. “At least he didn’t scratch it. And he left the keys…”

Just then I heard a yell, a motor, and a high pitched laugh.

“Oh no,” I said. “Don’t tell me…”
“ENOS!” Cooter yelled out. “NOW YOU’VE DONE GONE TOO FAR!”
“He took your truck?” I asked.
“He done took my truck!” Cooter whined. “A man’s truck is his castle!”
“Well my Jeep was okay,” I said. “Maybe he’ll leave your truck behind too.”
“Yeah,” said Cooter. “When he steals what…Boss’s caddie?”

Balladeer: You know, at the rate ol’ Enos is going, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Well, Cooter called it. Enos didn’t get very far in that tow truck with Rosco’s patrol car still attached to it. He saw a white convertible parked at the Boar’s Nest and thought it looked appealing.

“Wow,” he said. “Now this is a lot better.”

He raced off as Boss and his driver ran out of the office.

“ROSCO!” Boss yelled. “SOME BLANG IDIOT JUST STOLE MY CAR!”
“I know!” Rosco yelled from the back of my Jeep as we drove up. “He’s done gone on a rampage of stealing every vehicle in Hazzard County!”
“Well get after him you dodo!”

Boss jumped in Cletus’s car with Turk. Bo and Luke picked up on the situtation pretty quick and went after the white caddie. Rosco and Cooter were with me and decided to leave the tow truck at the Boar’s Nest.

“At the rate he’s going,” said Cooter. “I don’t think he’ll take the same car twice.”
“We need a plan,” said Rosco.
“Don’t use the police channel,” I said, picking up the CB. “I’ll bet he’s been listening to it.”
“Hey you’re right,” said Cooter, taking it. “Hey ya’ll. Let’s listen to some rock and roll.”

Bo and Luke knew that this was the signal for channel 8. We told Rosco this and he sent a separate message to Cletus.

“The streetcar is going up the hill.”
“What kind of message is that?” Cooter asked.
“Cletus knows what it means,” said Rosco. “I’ve been trying out a new code.”

After a few minutes, Cletus was able to remember that “streetcar” was equal to 5 and “hill” was equal to 3. He added 5 and 3 together and switched to channel 8. Turk thought it was unnecessarily complicated.

Enos of course, had no idea what any of that meant and just kept going, which was the whole idea. We were able to have Bo and Luke cut him off on the left fork, while Cletus came in from the north, and us from behind. Boss was madder than a hornet when all of us ran into his car from different directions, but I was more worried about Enos.

“My car!” Boss yelled. “My beautiful car!”
“Enos,” I cried. “Are you okay?”
“You people are crazy!” Enos was yelling as Cletus handcuffed him.
“You’re the one who’s lost it!” said Turk.
“Get him back to the jail,” said Rosco. “Lock him up before he can do anymore damage.”
“My car!” Boss wimpered.
“Oh you hush,” said Luke. “Let’s go.”

We managed to get Enos back to the jailhouse. I pulled up as Cletus and Rosco were dragging him out of Cletus’s car, but Enos was putting up a pretty good fight.

“I ain’t done nothin’!” he yelled. “That’s there is my car! I know it.”
“He done remembered his car once we got him in there,” Rosco told me.
“Well it did used to be his,” said Cletus.
“Well see if he remembers this,” I said. “I think he needs a shower…”
“Oooh oooh,” said Rosco. “Like the one’s he used to take?”
“Exactly,” I said. “This ol’ boy needs some cooling off.”

Bo, Luke, Turk, and Cooter had to come in and help Rosco and Cletus with Enos, who was still pretty strong and didn’t know what was going on. They picked him up and carried him into the back locker room of the station. I stood outside with Boss and heard a lot of yelling and squealing as Uncle Jesse came in.

“What in tarnation…?” Uncle Jesse asked.
“He’s taking a shower,” I said. “A nice cold one.”
“Well if that don’t jog something,” Boss said. “Nothing will. It’s about all he ever did.”
“I didn’t think he took them that often,” I said.
“Oh he did,” said Boss. “Every time he came back from the Boar’s Nest. Cleanest man in the state.”

That made me giggle. Bo, Luke, and Cooter came out to join us.

“They’re helping him get dressed in one of his old uniforms,” said Luke. “That’ll probably jog something too.”
“But why does he need help with that?” I asked.
“Well once we got him wet,” said Bo. “He kind of went off into a daze.”
“I don’t know how he was able to do that all the time,” said Cooter, who was soaked. “Y’all didn’t have to give me one too.”
“Cooter,” said Uncle Jesse. “You’ve been needing a shower for years.”
“Well next time,” said Cooter. “Could it at least be a hot one?”

Rosco, Cletus and Turk walked Enos to the front jail cell and locked him in. Enos looked like he was in a trance, staring straight ahead with his mouth open.

“Oh Enos,” I sighed, feeling sorry for him.
“I think he’s in shock,” said Turk.

Enos sat there as a multitude of pictures, colors, and words came swimming into his head all at once.

Enos you sly devil, why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?…Now Enos you can tell me. Any change?…Enos you dipstick!…Never mind the folk songs dodo!…It’s my turn to drive!…You still working out with barbells?…Enos, just forget it all right? Forget it…They got my keys and your car!…It’s not our fault you’re on the wrong side…I think deep down you want to fight the system just as badly as we do…Enos, ain’t nothing gonna happen to either of us…

Enos started muttering things under his breath. Things he used to say.

You left ’em in yours Sherriff…Now Bo, you and Luke better straighten up now or I’m gonna tell Uncle Jesse on ya’ll…Dang it Cooter, I’m gonna hafta give you a ticket for littering now…Tweedledum is running peanut dooleys in that naked baby ice cream truck!…They’re the best thing since catfish and hush puppies…You want that pie a’la mode?…Can I go home and take a nap now?…I ain’t ever disappointed to see you Daisy…

“I think he’s rememberin’,” said Rosco.
“Enos?” I asked.

Rosco opened the jail so I could sit next to him. Enos looked at me.

“Possum on a gumbush,” he said.
“Enos?” I asked. “Do you remember me?”

He blinked a couple of times and looked at me again.

“Daisy?” he asked. “Is that you Daisy?”

I nearly burst out crying when he said my name. I threw my arms around him.

“Oh Enos,” I cried.
“Oh Daisy,” he said, holding me. “I don’t what you’re doing here, but I sure am glad to see you. I just had the weirdest dream…”
“Don’t you worry about a thing Enos,” I said, looking into his eyes. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

With that, I gave him a kiss. I got up and let Turk take over.

“Hey Turk,” said Enos. “What happened? How’d Daisy get here so fast?”
“Easy Enos,” said Turk. “It’s a long story.”

We all left Turk to explain everything to Enos. I went back to work, even though I could’ve taken the rest of the day off. I was about to get ready to close up when Turk and Enos came in.

“It’s okay Daisy,” said Turk. “He remembers everything.”
“Everything?” I asked.
“Unfortunately,” said Enos. “Daisy I…I didn’t mean it…”
“Oh Enos,” I laughed. “I know you didn’t. You just went a little…crazy…that’s all.”
“It’s no excuse,” said Enos, not looking at me. “I had no right to steal those cars…or try to drink beer…or come onto you like that…”
“Enos look at me,” I said, lifting his face.

He did with those big puppy dog eyes of his that make me want to melt.

“I gotta confess,” I said, whispering. “Part of me really enjoyed it.”
“You did?” Enos asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Not that part of me didn’t want to slap you,” I said. “But Enos, you’d never kissed me like that before.”
“I guess I could never bring myself to,” he said, looking down again.
“I bet you could now,” I said slyly.

Enos turned red and was fighting a grin, but I didn’t let him go. Finally, he gave in and kissed me. And this time, it was a LOT more passionate than even the last one.

Needless to say, Turk had to go back to California by himself.

“I knew this would happen,” he said, as we were seeing him off at the airport.
“Sorry,” said Enos.
“That’s okay,” said Turk. “Maybe now I can get a partner who knows how to drive.”
“Turk,” said Enos. “Hush.”

Enos held me close as we saw the plane take off.

“Enos,” I said. “I’m awfully glad you decided to stay.”
“Me too,” he said. “It’s about time I stopped trying to run off from who I really am.”
“And who are you?”
“A down home country deputy,” Enos grinned. “Who’s madly in love with a down home country girl.”
“Well Enos,” I giggled. “I think that down home country girl’s in love with him too.”
“Enough to marry him?” he asked, playing with my fingers and slipping something on one of them.
“You bet!”

Balladeer: Now I figured those two’d get hitched by the end of this thing. Didn’t you?

by: Jamanda

<Based on a true story>

Balladeer: Well, it’s April 1st and ya’ll know what that means…Payday…also a good day for some good ol’ practical jokes.

Bo and Luke are driving the pickup.

Bo: Cousin this has got to be one of your best ideas yet.
Luke: Yep. Soon as we have the go ahead from Rosco.

Balladeer: Now in case ya’ll are wondering why the boys ain’t driving the General, well it’s because they need the truck to do this job right. And in case you’re wondering what Rosco has to do with this, that’s because Boss and Rosco are the official diversion.

The Duke boys listen in on the police channel.

Rosco: (over CB) Enos? You got your ears on come on?
Enos: Right here Sheriff.
Rosco: I need you to meet me at the Boar’s Nest for a meetin’ with the Boss.
Enos: I’m on my way.

Bo: That’s our cue.
Luke: Hit it.

Bo and Luke drive home to the farm and load up the truck. After an hour or so, they drive the truck over to the boarding house, where they meet up with Cooter and Cletus.

Luke: Ya’ll have any trouble?
Cooter: Nope. Doesn’t even lock his doors.
Cletus: He’s too trustworthy.
Cooter: The gun safe was heavy though.
Bo: Well we’ll just take this stuff back to the farm and let you have all this.

With that, Bo and Luke take Cooter’s truck back to the farm and unload it. By lunchtime, the task is completed, and they all meet back at the Boar’s Nest for lunch.

Bo: You think it’ll work?
Luke: It’s the best prank ever.
Cooter: Shhhh. There’s Boss.
Boss: (coming out of office) All right then Rosco. You and Enos get on that first thing next week.
Rosco: (peering over at Bo and Luke) Yes sir.
Luke: <winks at Rosco> Mission accomplished.
Rosco: Now Enos, there ain’t much else to do ’til next week so, go ahead and take the rest of the day off.
Enos: Possum on a gumbush sheriff! Really?
Rosco: Yeah really. Now go on, git on home. Gkuh Gkuh.

But Enos goes over to the bar and starts talking to Daisy.

Daisy: The rest of the day off. What are you gonna do with all that time sugar?
Enos: Well…I wish I could spend it with you…
Daisy: Well you just wait right here.

Daisy touches his cheek and walks over to Boss. After some shuck and jive, she also gets the rest of the afternoon off.

Daisy: All set Enos.
Enos: Hot dang!

The two of them leave together as Rosco and Boss go over to the boys.

Rosco: Doh. I didn’t think that’d happen.
Luke: Don’t worry about it. They’ll both go home eventually.
Bo: Yeah. Since when does Enos bring Daisy home late?
Boss: That’s why I wasn’t too worried. They might’ve been suspicious if I didn’t let her shuck and jive me into giving her an afternoon off too.
Cooter: Think Enos suspects anything?
Rosco: That dipstick? Course not.
Cletus: Even if he did…I don’t think he’d suspect to go home and find Daisy’s bedroom instead of his.

They all laugh and have a round of drinks.

Balladeer: Well, everyone went about their day as usual, with an evening round of drinks at the Boar’s Nest.

Luke: So they’re not back yet?
Rosco: Nope.
Boss: Ain’t seen ’em.
Bo: You think they found ’em?
Cooter: We’re about to find out.

Daisy swings the door open and storms in.

Daisy: BO AND LUKE DUKE!
Luke: <grins> She found it.
Daisy: WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO TO MY BEDROOM!? WHERE IS ALL MY STUFF!?
Bo: Where do you think?
Daisy: <gasping> You mean…all my stuff is…?
Cooter: Well…what’s in your bedroom, if it isn’t your stuff?
Daisy: I opened up my closet and found nothing but flannel shirts and police uniforms. And there ain’t nothing in my dresser but shorts and long johns! And since when do I keep pictures of myself everywhere?
Luke: Doesn’t sound like your room at all…
Daisy: Do you mean to tell me….?

Just then, Enos comes into the Boar’s Nest, red in the face.

Enos: Ding dang it you two Dukes play dirty now!
Cooter: Oh come on…I bet you like the improvement.
Enos: What am I gonna do with frilly curtains, pink flowers everywhere, and a closet full of stuff I ain’t ever gonna fit into?
Luke: Oh come on.
Cooter: You didn’t check the drawers did ya?
Enos: After seeing what was in my closet, I wasn’t about to open them drawers…
Daisy: You switched our bedrooms?
Bo: Yes ma’am we did.
Luke: And everything in them.
Enos: <raises eyebrows> Everything?
Cletus: Everything.
Enos: Possum on a gumbush…
Daisy: Luke…this has got to be…one of the craziest stunts you ever…
Luke: Hey, what else are we gonna do? It’s April Fool’s Day.
Daisy: I suppose.
Enos: Well, let’s go Daisy.
Daisy: All right.
Rosco: Wait a minute…where’ve you two been all day?

Daisy and Enos look at each other, and then back at everyone else.

Enos: We just went over to Chicamahonny and got married.
Daisy: Bye!

With that, Enos puts his arm around Daisy’s waist and they both walk out. Everyone else looks at each other.

Luke: Do you really think they did?

by: Jamanda

<inspired by an episode of Happy Days, in which Arnold’s burned down>

Bo and Luke are driving along home after a long day.

Bo: Man, that was some race this morning wasn’t it?
Luke: I’ll say. But the General pulled us through again, didn’t he?
Bo: What should we do with that $500?
Luke: Well, we should see if Jesse needs it for anything at the farm first. If not…

Suddenly, there’s an explosion and the sky lights up off to the left.

Bo: What was that!?
Luke: It looks like it came from the Boar’s Nest! Turn around!

Bo swings the car around and puts the pedal to the floor.

Luke: Was Daisy working tonight?
Bo: I think she was. Oh man I hope she’s all right!

Bo drives even faster and hears sirens up ahead.

Luke: I hope Rosco and Enos were closer.

They pull up to the Boar’s Nest and see flames shooting from the roof. They leap out of the car and rush towards a crowd that’s already begun to form in front of the building.

Bo: Daisy! We gotta get her out!
Rosco: Stay back Bo! Enos has already gone in there. I was too late to stop him, the dipstick!
Luke: Daisy!

Rosco tries to keep everyone back from the burning building as the fire truck pulls up. Bo and Luke rush over to help with the hoses. Cooter and Uncle Jesse pull up and rush over to the scene as well.

Jesse: DAISY!
Rosco: I’m sorry Jesse. You have to stay back.
Jesse: My neice is in there!
Rosco: Enos went in after her.
Cooter: How long ago?
Rosco: About ten minutes.
Cooter: That dipstick! He’s gonna git himself killed.
Luke: (yelling from the side) I SEE SOMEONE!

Bo and Luke rush over to the side of the building. Bo has an axe and helps break the door open. Enos stumbles out, carrying Daisy.

Enos: Stand back! Luke! Help me here.

Bo pushes everyone back as Enos lowers Daisy to the ground. He breathes into her mouth as Luke applies pressure to her chest.

Bo: Come on Daisy.
Jesse: Daisy…
Cooter: Daisy…
Rosco: Oh Daisy…

Boss drives up in his caddie, as he didn’t want to wait for his driver when he heard the explosion. Lulu is with him and they both rush over to the scene.

Lulu: Rosco! What…?
Rosco: Stand back Lulu.
Boss: Rosco what…Daisy!
Rosco: Oh God please let her be okay.
Lulu: Oh no…not Daisy!
Enos: SHE’S BREATHING!

Everyone lets out a breath as Luke checks Daisy’s pulse. An ambulance drives up and the paramedics rush over to Daisy. Luke pulls Enos away as they lift her onto a stretcher.

Luke: We’d better take you in too.
Enos: Huh?
Luke: Let’s go Bo.

Bo and Luke lift Enos into the General, as Enos is somewhat dazed and dizzy. Bo follows the ambulance to the hospital.

Balladeer: I don’t know about you, but I get all worked up whenever something happens to Daisy.

Bo paces around the waiting room at the hospital while Luke stands and stares out the window. Cooter is sitting next to Uncle Jesse, wringing his hat in his hands. Boss and Rosco also wanted to come to the hospital, but had to stay with the volunteer firemen to survey the damages to the Boar’s Nest.

Doctor: Mr. Duke?
Jesse: I’m Jesse Duke.
Doctor: I’m Doctor Pierce. Your neice has been stabalized, but she’s still in pretty critical condition.
Jesse: Well…will she live?
Doctor: She has a good chance, but we’ll be monitoring her condition closely.
Jesse: I appreciate that.
Luke: How’s Enos?
Doctor: The deputy who pulled her out is fine, but we’d like to keep him overnight to make sure. He breathed in a lot of smoke and we’ve got him on oxygen.
Bo: Can we see him?
Doctor: One at a time please. He was in a state of shock when you brought him in.
Jesse: You go ahead Luke. Let him know Daisy’s okay.

Luke nods and is led to Enos’s room. Enos is lying back with an oxygen mask over his face.

Luke: Hey Enos. How are you doing?
Enos: (muffled) Okay. How’s Daisy?
Luke: She’s gonna be fine.
Enos: Honest?
Luke: <sighs> I won’t lie to you Enos. She looked pretty bad when you pulled her out, but the doctor said that she’s stable and they’re gonna keep a close eye on her.
Enos: She’s gotta make it Luke.
Luke: You just rest Enos. Daisy’ll be fine. You saved her life you know.
Enos: (nodding) I know.

Bo and Cooter also go in to visit Enos, each telling him that Daisy would be fine and reminding him that he’s a hero. Finally, Uncle Jesse visits him.

Jesse: Hey there Enos.
Enos: Hey Uncle Jesse. Is Daisy really gonna be okay?
Jesse: If they say she’ll be okay, she’ll be okay. You gotta have faith…in the doctors and with the Lord Himself. Are you praying for her Enos.
Enos: I have been ever since I started looking for her. First I prayed that I’d find her…then that I’d be able to get her out…then that she’d start breathin’…
Jesse: Well all of them were answered weren’t they?
Enos: Yes sir.
Jesse: Then this one should be too. Just keep on praying.
Enos: Thanks Uncle Jesse. I will.

The Dukes agree that one of them should stay at the hospital while the others go home to rest. Bo takes the first night while Cooter and the others go home. Luke arrives back at the hospital the next morning.

Luke: Go on home Bo. Get some sleep.
Bo: Okay Luke. Call if anything happens.

Luke hangs out in the waiting room and the doctor arrives an hour later.

Luke: How’s Daisy?
Pierce: She’s still stable. Hopefully she’ll stay that way.
Luke: And Enos.
Pierce: A few more tests and he should be able to check out.
Luke: Thanks.

Half an hour later, Boss and Rosco arrive.

Boss: How are they?
Luke: Daisy’s still critical but Enos is okay. They’ll be checking him out in a little while.
Rosco: Oh that’s good. Any idea how long Daisy will be here?
Luke: No idea. She was pretty bad.
Boss: Luke. I know there’s been some time between us and you Dukes, but I assure you…
Luke: Boss, I know you’d never want anything to happen to Daisy.
Boss: Thank you.
Luke: Did you find out what caused the fire?
Rosco: Not yet. All we can tell is that something blew up in the kitchen…probably moonshine…but we don’t know what set it off.
Luke: Could be anything. A stray match…cigarette butt…faulty wiring…
Rosco: Lots of things.
Luke: Oh here’s the doctor.
Pierce: Officer Strate is ready to check out.
Boss: Oh good.

They go over to the desk as Enos leaves his room. He’s wearing clothes provided by the hospital and carrying his uniform in a bag.

Enos: Howdy Sherriff…Mr. Hogg.
Rosco: How’re you feeling Enos?
Enos: I’ll feel a lot better when Daisy’s out of here.
Luke: We all will.
Boss: Now Enos, don’t you worry none. Daisy’ll be fine and I’m taking care of both of your medical bills.
Enos: I appreciate it Mr. Hogg.
Boss: Now Rosco, you take Enos home and make sure he don’t fret none. I’ll take care of the bills and meet you at the courthouse later.
Rosco: Right Boss. Come on Enos.

They leave and Boss takes care of the bill.

Boss: Now you take it easy Luke Duke. Jesse wanted me to tell you he’s coming later this afternoon.
Luke: Thanks Boss.

Balladeer: I’ll say one thing for Daisy, ain’t nothin’ going right when she’s not around.

Bo: You know, things have just been plain dull around here without Daisy.
Luke: I know. And if anybody asks me one more time how she’s doing…
Bo: Don’t look now.
Luke: It’s Enos isn’t it?
Bo: Yup.

Enos pulls up.

Enos: Hey fellas.
Luke: Nothing’s changed.
Enos: <sighs> I was afraid of that. Sorry I keep bugging you.
Bo: It’s okay Enos. We’re all worried too.
Luke: You sending more flowers?
Enos: I would but I kinda ran out of money, so it’s just a homemade card today.
Luke: You know, Daisy did say you were gonna go broke on buying her flowers.
Enos: She’s worth it. Oh, and here’s a card from Cooter.
Bo: Thanks. We’ll give ’em to her.
Enos: I appreciate it fellas. Sorry I’m such a pest.
Bo: I admit, it is nice that you’re bugging us about Daisy instead of trying to arrest us for something.
Enos: <grins> Well I think ya’ll would be happy to know that I overheard the Boss tellin’ Sherriff Rosco to leave ya’ll alone…at least until Daisy gets better.
Bo: Well isn’t that nice?
Luke: He’s all heart.
Enos: He does feel bad about it. He needs to concentrate on rebuildin’ the Boar’s Nest anyway.

The CB crackles.

Rosco: (over CB) Enos, this is your superior officer speaking, you got your ears on come on?
Enos: (into CB) Howdy Sherriff.
Rosco: Enos, I need you to go get Avery again. He’s over at the hotel this time.
Enos: Right Sherriff. (hangs up CB) Rosco really needs to leave Avery’s ladder alone. See ya fellas.
Bo: So long Enos.

After Enos leaves, Luke heads over to the hospital to trade with Uncle Jesse and visit Daisy.

Luke: Hey Daisy. How are you feelin’?
Daisy: Same as ever Luke.
Luke: You got some cards.
Daisy: (looks at one and laughs) Oh that Cooter. He cracks me up.
Luke: What’s it say?
Daisy: <reads> Get well soon Daisy. My business is going down the drain without you distracting the motorists around here, not to mention to cops.
Luke: He’s right you know. Rosco and Boss are leaving us alone and well…there hasn’t been a good chase or wreck in a week.
Daisy: (looking at the other card) In most towns that’s a good thing…Oh Enos!
Luke: Now what?
Daisy: I told you he’d go broke!
Luke: He said you were worth it.
Daisy: <sighs> What am I gonna do about him?
Luke: What’d he say?
Daisy: <reads> Dear Daisy, You were right. I can’t afford flowers no more so a card will have to do. Just as well as none of them flowers are a pretty as you are anyway. Come home soon. Love, Enos.

Daisy gazes at the card and sighs.

Daisy: He hasn’t seen me lately now has he?
Luke: Now Daisy, stop talking like that.
Daisy: But it’s true! I’ve got burns everywhere and I know I ain’t gonna be the same girl, even when I do get better.
Luke: You’ll always be the same Daisy to us.
Daisy: It’s never gonna be the same Luke. The Boar’s Nest is gone…
Luke: Boss is rebuilding it.
Daisy: I won’t be able to have my old job back…
Luke: You hated that job anyway.
Daisy: And ain’t nobody gonna be able to look at me without…
Luke: Oh stop it. You are just as beautiful now as you ever were.
Daisy: You’re just saying that.
Luke: But it’s true. And we’ll all love you just as much…even more now that we almost lost ya.
Daisy: Of course you will. You’re kin, along with Uncle Jesse and Bo. But everyone else will…
Luke: Love you just as much. They all miss you Daisy. Enos is driving me crazy asking me about you.
Daisy: They won’t once they see me.
Luke: That’s where you’re wrong. Trust me.

Balladeer: Ya gotta hand it to ol’ Luke. He’s sure tryin’. But once Daisy has her mind made up about something, it’s hard to convince her otherwise.

Balladeer: Well, seeing as she’s a Duke, it didn’t take long for Daisy to get out of the hospital. But seeing as Daisy is Daisy, she ain’t out of the woods yet.

Jesse: Daisy, I’m awfully glad to be taking you home.
Daisy: Me too Uncle Jesse.
Jesse: Everyone is anxious to see you.
Daisy: Oh Uncle Jesse, I don’t want to see anybody yet.
Jesse: Well, you just wait ’til you’re ready. They wanted to have a big party you know, but the boys discouraged it.
Daisy: Thanks Uncle Jesse.

As soon as she arrives home, Daisy goes into the house. Her head is wrapped in a bandanna, as most of her hair was burned off and the rest had to be shaved. She hides behind large sunglasses as she has black burn marks on her face as well. She also keeps to wearing long sleaved shirts and pants to hide the burns on her arms and legs.

Meanwhile, the boys are hanging out with Enos and Cooter at the garage, as the Boar’s Nest is still being rebuilt.

Cooter: So she doesn’t want to see anybody?
Luke: No one.
Bo: She’s still pretty down about the way she looks.
Enos: <sighs> At least she’s home.
Bo: We’ll do our best to talk some sense into her.
Luke: But it ain’t gonna be easy. I mean, her whole life kinda revolved around the fact that she’s so beautiful.
Enos: But she still is.
Cooter: We know that, and you know that, but she don’t.
Luke: She thinks she lost everything in that fire. Not being able to get her job back isn’t helping any.
Enos: Boss still wants to give her a job. He just doesn’t think she’d like waitressing.
Bo: It would be a little difficult. Especially since she doesn’t even want to leave the house.
Luke: Just give her time. I’m sure she’ll come around eventually.
Cooter: I sure hope so.
Enos: Yeah. If I don’t get to see her soon, I may just flat bust.

Balladeer: Well, a couple more weeks have gone by, and Daisy still ain’t about to leave that farm for anybody.

Daisy: Uncle Jesse? You wanna hang these up for me?
Jesse: Daisy, you can do that.
Daisy: Enos is spying again.
Jesse: Never stopped you before.
Daisy: I don’t want him to see me like this.
Jesse: All right.

Jesse goes outside with the basket.

Jesse: Sorry Enos. She’s still not coming out.
Enos: Shoot. I’ve been doing this so long she knows when I’m coming.
Jesse: It was worth a shot.
Enos: Isn’t there any way she’ll let me see her?
Jesse: If I think of something, I’ll let you know.

Balladeer: That boy don’t give up does he? He’s sure got it bad.

Balladeer: Well, another week has gone by and Daisy still ain’t leaving home, or letting anyone come by, or coming out of her room when someone does come by. Friends and neighbors, it’s enough to make a grown deputy turn to drinkin’.

Rosco: Here’s some buttermilk Enos.
Enos: Thanks Sherriff.
Rosco: Still ain’t comin’ out is she?
Enos: Nope.
Rosco: At least this place got built back up.
Enos: It just ain’t the same without her.
Rosco: Oh I know. Business has been downright lousy. Boss keeps reminding me of it too.
Enos: If only she’d let me see her…
Rosco: I gotta hand it to that girl. She’s awful stubborn.
Enos: She ain’t the only one that’s stubborn.
Rosco: You’re also a dipstick. Whoever said “Love is blind” musta been talking about you.
Enos: Love is blind…That’s it!

Enos jumps up, downs his buttermilk, and heads for the door.

Enos: Thanks Sherriff! Why didn’t I think of that before?
Rosco: Because you’re a dipstick! Where’s he going? Oh it don’t matter. It was my idea. But what was my idea? Ooh oh.

Enos floors it over to the Duke farm. Uncle Jesse is out front with Bo and Luke, working on a tractor.

Bo: You’re too late. She heard you coming and went in.
Enos: That’s okay. Any of you got a hankerchief?
Uncle Jesse: (pulling one out) Well sure but…
Luke: Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?
Enos: It was the sherriff’s idea.
Bo: What was?
Luke: (taking the hankercheif) This. Watch.

Luke and Enos go inside, followed by Bo and Jesse. Luke knocks on Daisy’s door.

Luke: Daisy? You in there?
Daisy: I know he’s still here.
Luke: Yeah he’s here and I think you should see him.
Daisy: I ain’t coming out.
Luke: I said you should see him. I didn’t say he’d see you.
Daisy: What?

Luke wraps the hankercheif around Enos’s eyes.

Luke: I’m blindfolding him right now Daisy. Enos? Can you see anything.
Enos: Nope. Sure can’t Luke.
Luke: Hear that Daisy? Now you’ve done run out of excuses.

There’s a pause before the door opens a crack. Daisy peeks out and sees that Enos is indeed blindfolded. Luke backs away and pushes Enos slightly forward.

Enos: Easy Luke. I can’t see now.
Daisy: (reaches out to him) Oh Enos be careful.

Enos finds Daisy’s hands and steadies himself as the other Dukes quietly leave the room.

Daisy: Oh Enos…you just don’t know when to give up do you?
Enos: Sure don’t Daisy. But don’t worry. I’ll be careful.

Enos very gently pulls her to him. Daisy rests her head on his chest and lets him hold her. Bo and Luke peek through the window.

Bo: Well shoot. I never woulda thought of that.
Luke: Brilliant. I mean that’s gotta cheer her up.
Jesse: Now you two get away from that window and leave them alone.
Bo: But Uncle Jesse, you said we needed to keep an eye on her.
Jesse: I’d trust her with Enos more than anybody else I know, including you two. Why he doesn’t just marry that girl is beyond me now you two git back to that tractor!

Balladeer: Well friends and neighbors, soon as word got out about how Enos got to see Daisy, everybody wanted to try it. The Dukes got all kinds of visitors, from Cooter, to Boss and Rosco, to their first grade teacher Mrs. Smith, who remembered Bo and Luke a little too well. But no one seemed to cheer Daisy up like Enos.

Enos and Daisy are sitting on the sofa. He’s still wearing the blindfold and has his arm around her.

Daisy: Enos? Did anyone ever tell you you were brilliant?
Enos: No. I’ve been called a lot of other things…
Daisy: Oh Enos. I never did thank you for saving me from the fire.
Enos: Anybody could’ve done that. Rosco said Bo and Luke were about to run in there after you too. I just beat ’em to it.
Daisy: It was my fault you know.
Enos: What was?
Daisy: The fire.
Enos: Now how was that your fault?
Daisy: I put the bucket of cigarette butts on the counter, but I forgot that some whiskey had been spilled on the floor.
Enos: Now Daisy you listen to me. Everybody makes mistakes and there ain’t no use in beating yourself up over it.
Daisy: Enos, why are you so good to me?
Enos: I think you already know.

Enos kisses her gently on the forehead, then on the bridge of her nose.

Daisy: <giggles> Oh Enos, what are you doing?
Enos: (kissing her cheek) I’m looking for the good part.
Daisy: You never did that before.
Enos: (kissing her ear) Well (kissing her temple) I was pretty content with just looking at ya before (kisses her chin) but seein’ as you won’t let me do that no more…

With that, Enos finds her lips and kisses her, gently but sincerely and with passion. Bo and Luke are once again watching through the window.

Bo: Are you SURE we can trust him? I ain’t ever seen him do that before!
Luke: Well, can you blame him?
Bo: I guess not.

Enos: I’d better go Daisy.
Daisy: But…
Enos: I ain’t gonna take advantage of you Daisy. I need to go.
Daisy: Okay.
Enos: Besides, I think you’re cousins are looking through the window again.
Daisy: Well you let me take care of that.

Daisy guides him to the door, kisses his cheek, and then retreats to her room. As soon as Enos hears the door close, he pulls off the blindfold and leaves. Daisy watches him through the window.

Daisy: Oh Enos. Why didn’t I just marry you last time?

Balladeer: Once again, Enos is at the Duke farm with Daisy. Frankly, I don’t blame him one bit.

Enos: I’m sure glad you come out and see people now.
Daisy: Well, it does help me feel better.
Enos: It helps all of us too. Everybody misses you Daisy.
Daisy: I miss all of you too, especially you Enos.
Enos: Shucks Daisy.
Daisy: I still miss you.
Enos: I’m right here.
Daisy: But you’re always wearing that silly blindfold. I mean, I can hardly remember what your eyes look like.
Enos: Well you know, you could take it off…if you really wanted to.
Daisy: I know…I could…

Daisy pauses for a minute. Then she reaches up and slowly pulls the blindfold down. Enos opens his eyes and looks directly into hers, which are full of tears.

Enos: Oh Daisy, are you a sight for sore eyes.
Daisy: But…
Enos: I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful.
Daisy: But I’m not…
Enos: I never lie Daisy.
Daisy: (starting to cry) Oh Enos, why’d you go and do that? Why’d you go and blindfold yourself for so long just to be with me?
Enos: For the same reason I’ve been waiting for everything else. The same reason I put up with that dang reputation that everybody teases me about. The same reason I came home from California, even though I made more money out there.

Enos lifts her chin and looks into her eyes.

Enos: Anything worth having is worth waiting for Daisy. Especially if it’s you.
Daisy: Even though I look like this?
Enos: The sherriff said that love is blind. I must still be blind cuz all I can see is the woman I fell in love with…the woman I’ve been saving myself for…the woman I want to marry and stay with forever.

Daisy stares for a minute as it sinks in what he just said. He slips a ring on her finger.

Enos: Would you marry me Daisy?

Balladeer: Friends and neighbors, I don’t think I could turn down a question like that. Could you?

Balladeer: Well, it seemed only fitting that Daisy should present herself to the whole town at the wedding. Nearly everybody was invited, and even some who weren’t showed up anyway, just to see why Daisy’d been hiding herself for so long. Now most brides are just nervous. Daisy’s just about to throw herself a fit.

Daisy is pacing in her wedding gown in the back of the church. Lulu is trying to keep Daisy’s veil straight and Maybelle is peeking out the door.

Daisy: I don’t know if I can go through with it! All those people looking at me and…
Lulu: You look fine Daisy. Your veil will stay down ’til the end and no one will even be able to tell that you’ve been through a fire.
Daisy: I suppose. I still think we should’ve eloped.
Maybelle: And have everyone miss the wedding of the century? Why we’ve been waiting for this for years!

There’s a knock at the door and Maybelle lets Uncle Jesse in.

Jesse: Daisy? It’s time.

Lulu and Maybelle enter the church first as Enos stands at the alter with Luke and Rosco. Bo and Cooter stand at the back of the church, waiting to open the doors for the bride.

Jesse: You ready Daisy.
Daisy: (adjusts her veil) I’m ready.

Bo and Cooter open the doors and everyone stands as Jesse escorts Daisy in. Enos beams with pride and scratches the back of his neck. Luke notices a rash forming, but keeps his mouth shut.

Boss: Who gives this woman to this man?
Jesse: I do.

Uncle Jesse raises Daisy’s veil just briefly to kiss her, then lowers it again.

Boss: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the union of these two young people…and it’s about time.
Daisy: Boss!
Boss: Well it is. Alright then.

Boss gives only a short speech before performing the ceremony of the rings. Luke hands Enos one ring and Lulu hands Daisy the other. Luke tries to ignore the red bumps on Enos’s hands, which Daisy now notices. She gently strokes his hand with her fingers as she places the ring on his finger. Enos refrains from scratching as places the ring on Daisy’s finger.

Boss: Now, do you, Miss Daisy Duke, take this man, Deputy Enos Strate, to be your lawful wedded husband?
Daisy: I do.
Boss: And do you, Deputy Enos Strate, take this woman, Miss Daisy Duke, to be your lawful wedded wife, God help us all.
Enos: (weakly) I do.
Boss: Well, by the power vested in me by the state of Georgia, I know pronounce you, man and wife!

Everyone cheers.

Rosco: Uh Boss. Don’t forget to say, “Kiss the bride.”
Boss: Oh hush up Rosco. I know what I’m doing. You may now kiss the bride.

Enos lifts Daisy’s veil and gazes at her. She can’t help but smile, as he now has hives all over his face, and kisses him. She then helps him get back down the aisle as everyone stares.

Daisy: Oh Enos. I know you wanted me to feel better about how I looked but I didn’t expect you to go and get the hives again!
Enos: It just happens Daisy. I need to sit down.
Daisy: Someone get him some water.
Luke: Here ya go Enos. (hands him a water glass) At least you were already up there before they broke out this time.
Enos: They were breaking out earlier. You just couldn’t see ’em yet.
Rosco: And you still went through with it?
Enos: (grins at Daisy) When you’ve been waiting as long as I have, you learn to put up with certain things.
Daisy: Oh Enos. Balladeer: Well, it seemed only fitting that Daisy should present herself to the whole town at the wedding. Nearly everybody was invited, and even some who weren’t showed up anyway, just to see why Daisy’d been hiding herself for so long. Now most brides are just nervous. Daisy’s just about to throw herself a fit.

Daisy is pacing in her wedding gown in the back of the church. Lulu is trying to keep Daisy’s veil straight and Maybelle is peeking out the door.

Daisy: I don’t know if I can go through with it! All those people looking at me and…
Lulu: You look fine Daisy. Your veil will stay down ’til the end and no one will even be able to tell that you’ve been through a fire.
Daisy: I suppose. I still think we should’ve eloped.
Maybelle: And have everyone miss the wedding of the century? Why we’ve been waiting for this for years!

There’s a knock at the door and Maybelle lets Uncle Jesse in.

Jesse: Daisy? It’s time.

Lulu and Maybelle enter the church first as Enos stands at the alter with Luke and Rosco. Bo and Cooter stand at the back of the church, waiting to open the doors for the bride.

Jesse: You ready Daisy.
Daisy: (adjusts her veil) I’m ready.

Bo and Cooter open the doors and everyone stands as Jesse escorts Daisy in. Enos beams with pride and scratches the back of his neck. Luke notices a rash forming, but keeps his mouth shut.

Boss: Who gives this woman to this man?
Jesse: I do.

Uncle Jesse raises Daisy’s veil just briefly to kiss her, then lowers it again.

Boss: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the union of these two young people…and it’s about time.
Daisy: Boss!
Boss: Well it is. Alright then.

Boss gives only a short speech before performing the ceremony of the rings. Luke hands Enos one ring and Lulu hands Daisy the other. Luke tries to ignore the red bumps on Enos’s hands, which Daisy now notices. She gently strokes his hand with her fingers as she places the ring on his finger. Enos refrains from scratching as places the ring on Daisy’s finger.

Boss: Now, do you, Miss Daisy Duke, take this man, Deputy Enos Strate, to be your lawful wedded husband?
Daisy: I do.
Boss: And do you, Deputy Enos Strate, take this woman, Miss Daisy Duke, to be your lawful wedded wife, God help us all.
Enos: (weakly) I do.
Boss: Well, by the power vested in me by the state of Georgia, I know pronounce you, man and wife!

Everyone cheers.

Rosco: Uh Boss. Don’t forget to say, “Kiss the bride.”
Boss: Oh hush up Rosco. I know what I’m doing. You may now kiss the bride.

Enos lifts Daisy’s veil and gazes at her. She can’t help but smile, as he now has hives all over his face, and kisses him. She then helps him get back down the aisle as everyone stares.

Daisy: Oh Enos. I know you wanted me to feel better about how I looked but I didn’t expect you to go and get the hives again!
Enos: It just happens Daisy. I need to sit down.
Daisy: Someone get him some water.
Luke: Here ya go Enos. (hands him a water glass) At least you were already up there before they broke out this time.
Enos: They were breaking out earlier. You just couldn’t see ’em yet.
Rosco: And you still went through with it?
Enos: (grins at Daisy) When you’ve been waiting as long as I have, you learn to put up with certain things.
Daisy: Oh Enos.

Balladeer: Well, they all went to the new Boar’s Nest for the reception. It was the most people gathered there since it was rebuilt. Business always did depend on Daisy.

Boss: So where are they?
Cletus: Well they have to have their pictures taken.
Boss: But Enos has those things all over his face again.
Cletus: Ain’t it great cousin Boss? It’s kinda like they match!
Boss: Oh I suppose.
Cooter: They’re here!

Enos and Daisy enter and everyone cheers. Neither seem to mind the obvious marks on their faces, they’re just happy that they got through the wedding. They cut the cake and Luke makes his toast.

Luke: To Enos Strate, who in a short while, will no longer be the oldest…
Daisy: Luke!
Enos: He’s got a point Daisy.
Daisy: Enos!
Luke: Take care of her Enos.
Enos: I will Luke ol’ buddy.

Daisy and Enos dance to Waylon Jennings, who arrived at the wedding as a special guest. Several of Enos’s friends from California were also able to come.

Daisy: All right girls! Who’s gonna catch the bouquet?

Daisy tosses the bouquet and cousin Alice catches it.

Alice: Oh look at that! Where’s Bo?
Bo: Oh no. Luke don’t let me catch that garter!
Luke: Well come on.

Enos blushes enough to hide the hives all over his face as he takes the garter off. He then shoots it over his head at the single men. Bo ducks and Luke catches it.

Luke: Oh fine.
Alice: Oh shoot. Oh well. Luke’s cute too.
Enos: That’s for the toast.
Luke: All right, so we’re even.

Luke cringes as he puts the garter on Alice’s leg. She giggles and dances with him, but he quickly passes her to Bo, who scowls at Luke, who goes off with Maybelle.

Enos and Daisy exit the wedding through a shower of rice and get in her Jeep, which Cletus and Rosco decorated with toilet paper, beer cans, and parking tickets. Enos drives the Jeep away as everyone watches and waves.

Cletus: So uh, where are they going?
Rosco: I dunno. I just know he won’t be back for two weeks.
Turk: Oh he got a deal on a beachside condo in California. Didn’t tell me which beach though.
Luke: Well there ain’t gonna be any change if they’re disturbed.
Bo: You got that right.

Balladeer: And that’s the legend of how the Boar’s Nest fire brought some good to the people of Hazzard county, who quickly learned that appearances don’t hold a match to true genunine love.

by: Jamanda

Here’s our theory on Bo and Luke’s final run:

Bo and Luke are tearing down the road in the General Lee on what was to be their last run. As usual, Rosco pulls in behind them.

Luke: Right on schedule.
Bo: Good ol’ Rosco.
Luke: Better go ahead and lose him Bo. He’s too honest to let us go with this load.
Bo: 10-4 cousin.

The general speeds up and Rosco laughs and picks up the cb.

Rosco: Okay rookie. Let’s see how you hold up with the real pros. I’ve got a couple of runners heading south on highway 124. Show me what you can do.

Rosco drops back and Bo and Luke are fairly confident that they’ve lost him.

Bo: That was almost too easy.
Luke: Bo look out!

Another police car comes out of nowhere and manages to run them into a ditch. The other policeman approaches the general as Bo and Luke climb out.

Cop: (aims gun) All right now. Hands up.
Luke: Yes sir.
Cop: (nods to Bo) Open the trunk.

Bo sighs and moves to the back of the general. Luke then jumps on the officer and attempts to disarm him. But the officer wrestles with him and pins his arms behind his back while aiming his gun at Bo.

Cop: No tricks now. Open the trunk.

Bo grimaces and opens the trunk of the General, which is loaded with ten gallons of moonshine.

Cop: All right now, y’all are under arrest.

As the officer take Bo and Luke to his car, he reads their rights.

Cop: Ya’ll have the right to remain quiet. Anything ya’ll say can and will be used against ya’ll in a court of law…
Bo: We know.
Luke: Uncle Jesse’s gonna have our hides.
Cop: Real sorry about this fellas.

Bo and Luke sit in the back of the car while Rosco’s voice crackles over the cb.

Rosco: I can hardly believe it. You done passed the test! Welcome aboard Deputy Enos Strate.

Bo and Luke stare at each other and then at the officer in the front seat. He looks at them sadly.

Enos: Real sorry fellas. I didn’t know he’d have me chasin’ you.

Balladeer: Well don’t that just put a churn in your buttermilk?

Bo and Luke are sitting in the county jail.

Luke: I just don’t believe it.
Bo: Me either. How in the world did ol’ Enos become a lawman? His daddy ran shine right along with ours right?
Luke: Yeah he did. Which would explain how Enos was able to catch us.
Bo: Yeah, he always was the crazy driver.

Rosco: (coming down the stairs) Yes, they’re right down here Jesse. Now they still have to report to trial in two days.
Jesse: I understand Rosco.

Rosco lets Bo and Luke out of the jail. They walk out with Uncle Jesse before he lets loose on them.

Jesse: HOW IN TARNATION WAS HE ABLE TO CATCH YOU!
Luke: He didn’t Uncle Jesse!
Bo: That dang deputy did.
Jesse: All right then. Since when have any of them been able to catch you?
Luke: Since our old pal Enos Strate done betrayed us all and went into law enforcement.
Jesse: Enos Strate? Phil Strate’s boy?
Bo: The very same.
Jesse: The big fella who kept grinnin’ at Daisy but never had the guts to talk to her?
Luke: That’s him.
Jesse: He’s gone lawman.
Bo: See for yourself.

A patrol car drives up and Enos gets out.

Jesse: I don’t believe it.
Luke: (sarcastic) Hey Enos ol’ buddy.
Enos: Hey Luke…Bo…Mr. Duke.
Jesse: I don’t believe it.
Enos: Please Mr. Duke, I didn’t want to arrest these boys. I didn’t even know it was them. But I just got this job and I gotta do what the sheriff says.
Bo: Apologies ain’t gonna keep us out of prison.
Luke: Let’s go.

The Dukes leave and Enos sighs and goes inside.

At the Boars Nest, Bo and Luke try to explain the situation to Daisy, who unlike Uncle Jesse, is NOT surprised.

Daisy: (sighs) I always knew Enos was too honest to be a ridgerunner.
Bo: But a cop?
Daisy: Well what else could he do? He’s a crazy driver, one heck of a good shot, and too honest for his own good.
Luke: I can’t believe you’re sticking up for him.
Daisy: Well you two were breaking the law.
Bo: I don’t believe this…First our good buddy and now our cousin.
Daisy: Oh fellas now don’t be like that.
Luke: Speak of the devil.

Enos comes in with Rosco and J.D. Hogg.

J.D.: Well, well, Bo and Luke Duke. Looks like you two got yourselves in a peck of trouble.
Bo: You could say that.
J.D.: Well, I’ll just be seeing you two in court tomorrow.
Luke: There goes any chances of a fair trial.
J.D.: (scowls) Let me remind you boys, that this here new deputy caught you with the evidence fair and square.
Bo: You mean that there traitor.
Rosco: Now you hush! You’re just jealous because he managed to outfox you! Come on Enos.

They leave and Daisy shakes her head.

Bo: Our own buddy.
Daisy: Poor Enos.
Luke: What are you feeling sorry for him for?
Daisy: Didn’t you see him? He couldn’t even bring himself to look at us. He’s downright ashamed of having to arrest you two.
Bo: I’ll bet he’s not too ashamed to testify against us tomorrow.

The next day, Bo and Luke appear in the courthouse where J.D. Hogg seems all to eager to send them up the river. Rosco and Enos are both at his side when the Duke family comes in.

J.D.: All right Duke boys. You have been accused of running illegal moonshine in Hazzard county. How do you plead?
Bo: (sighs) Guilty
Luke: Guilty.
J.D.: All right Enos. Enter a plead of guilty.
Enos: Yes sir.
J.D.: Now then, as Justice of the Peace of Hazzard County, it is my bounding duty to send you boys to prison.
Enos: Excuse me Mr. Hogg?

J.D. is a bit surprised to be interrupted.

Enos: I do believe that, although these boys were arrested in Hazzard County, it is the jurisdiction of the ATF to bring in the official charges and sentencing.
J.D.: Oh, yes, yes….

Enos goes over to a door and brings in Agent Roach.

Luke: Now he’s really done it.
J.D.: All right Agent Roach. Have at ’em.
Roach: Of course. Now, Mr. Duke, seeing as these boys have plead guilty as charged, you are eligible for an offer from the Federal Government.
Jesse: What kind of offer?
Roach: We’re willing to offer these boys strict probation, and in return for their freedom, your family will no longer produce or sell illegal whiskey.
Jesse: You mean, we give up making moonshine, and the boys go free?
Roach: For the most part. Now they will be on probation, which means they can carry no firearms, illegal materials, and cannot leave the state without permission, among other things.
Bo: But we wouldn’t go to prison?
Roach: No.
Jesse: Well, our…craft…has been in the family for years…but these boys mean more to me than life itself so…All right.
Roach: Wonderful! Now if you’ll just come with me Mr. Duke…

Outside the courthouse, Bo and Luke are being congratulated by Daisy and Cooter.

Luke: Probation. I just don’t believe it.
Bo: Sure beats prison though. I’ll take bows and arrows over guns any day.
Cooter: That was sure close though. I mean, who’d of thought that ol’ Agent Roach would let you guys off like that.
Roach: (coming down the stairs) Oh don’t thank me boys.
Daisy: Well why not? You got them out of prison didn’t you?
Roach: Wasn’t my idea. That new deputy that arrested you two heard about it down in Atlanta and suggested it to me.
Luke: Enos?
Bo: He thought of it?
Roach: Not only that, but he said that if I didn’t get you boys off, he’d quit and go work in another county. Now after bringing in you two, I didn’t think the Sheriff would take kindly to losing such a good lawman when he just got him.
Cooter: Well I’ll be…

Agent Roach leaves and Uncle Jesse joins the rest. They head over to the Boars Nest to celebrate. Daisy is treating them when J.D., Rosco, and Enos come in.

J.D.: I just don’t understand it. We had ’em. I mean we really had ’em.
Rosco: Now don’t worry it. With them on probation it’ll be easier than ever to catch them again. Especially with the new deputy.
J.D.: I certainly hope so.

J.D. and Rosco go into the back room while Enos sits down by the bar. Daisy goes over to him.

Daisy: (flirting) Can I get you anything stranger?
Enos: (looking down) Oh no, I’m on duty right now.
Luke: (puts hand on his shoulder) Go ahead Enos. It’s on me.
Bo: Do you still drink buttermilk ol’ buddy?
Enos: (grins) Well, I guess an ol’ buttermilk wouldn’t hurt.
Daisy: Oh Enos, you ain’t changed a bit.
Bo: That grin certainly hasn’t.
Luke: Hey Enos, has uh…anything else changed?
Enos just grins. J
Luke: Hang in there buddy.

Balladeer: Well folks, that’s the legend of how an old friend returned to Hazzard and kept Bo and Luke out of prison, which just goes to show, it takes a lot more than a badge to break bonds with the Dukes of Hazzard.