by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County y’all. Yeah I know, you love me. I am too much to resist. It must be my deep voice that attracts you. Don’t worry, you don’t have to be shy about it. I am a good storyteller and one heck of a singer—don’t ya think?

Oh you came for the Duke Boys? Well that’s okay, I ain’t head banana and I don’t plan to be. So what is today’s tale about? Well wouldn’t you like to know? Oh you would? Sorry, I was being a little bit cheeky.

This story is a love story. I know, you have probably heard enough about all that love. Really though, this is about the normal girl and a boy—well Hazzard Style. So just pay attention now, I can’t explain everything three times for you.

Well you see that girl over there? You know, walking along the dirt road? Yeah, the one with the blonde hair. I am sure you can see her. She is the only one walking on the road.

Well, I know she’s not a Duke but she does have a big part in this story. Now, I suppose you wanna know who she is. Meet Lynn Franklin. Now this particular girl, who has blue eyes, is extremely different from most of the people you’re goanna meet.

Lynn is an orphan. Seriously, her parents are no where to be found. Yeah I know what you’re thinking and I would be thinking it too. That’s not too unusual, for Hazzard County.

After all, Bo is an orphan too. For those who don’t know about this story, I will fill you in. You know, just so you don’t get lost. Both of his parents were killed in a car wreck.

He lived with his Aunt, Jessie Duke who was a great mom to him until—well she passed. Cameron was too selfish to keep his kids not to mention his nephews so he gave them away.

Anyway, Bo soon moved in with someone who would be a friend and a father to him. He loved Jesse Duke more than anything. What was nice was, Jesse loved him and Luke just as much. He was thrilled to have them over.

Now friends, fairytale endings don’t happen to everyone. You know that as well as I do. Although in Hazzard, we love the successful conclusions. The happy ending makes every person feel good.

However, Lynn lives in a Group home—or lived in a Group home rather. This girl hates it there. She doesn’t like the children. Most of the people living there tease her. Why? Lynn is smart. She is in Grade twelve and she’s only fifteen.

When Lynn was a baby, the poor girl was left in a garbage can. A nurse found her and took her right to social services. Now imagine this…you don’t know who your family is. You have no idea whatsoever. Now wouldn’t that be a kicker?

She has never had a family picnic. Lynn has never gone on a father daughter fishing trip. She has always wanted to stay in one place longer than three months. However, they always moved her about.

It wasn’t because she was a bad kid. No, it was because they really needed the space for certain children. Lynn was the only one willing to move.

She had been all around the United States. Lynn loved to travel. However, the last home just seemed to take too much out of her. The bad kids seemed to harp on her. Lynn fought well for herself.

On the other hand, that wasn’t her only problem. Nope, this poor girl had a problem with her newest group home. They wanted to get her out of there. Some of the Group homes were like that.

Justin and Kim were the group home leaders. They didn’t like Lynn’s attitude. They continuously taunted her, telling Lynn to hit them. She couldn’t take it anymore. So, Lynn decided to make herself go missing.

If I was treated in such a fashion, I don’t know what I would do. I had a good loving family who loved me. After that, I had Jesse Duke as family. Now I don’t know about Lynn but I would feel a lot of pain.

Some people take it out in anger. Lynn takes it out on cars. No, not destroys them—fixes them. Lynn is quite the handy girl. She loves vintage cars. Anything older makes her mouth water.

So when she saw the General Lee driving down the road with police cars following, you had better believe she was attracted to it. Lynn smiled at Bo. Now when you’re a girl, you should never smile at a driving Duke. Especially when this Duke is Bo Duke.

Bo took an immediate turn. He made a leap in the General Lee, putting Roscoe up in a tree when he jumped. Bo then turned right beside this young woman.

“You want a lift ma’am?” Bo questioned her. Lynn smiled. His face was so bright and cheery. She loved it. Maybe this Hazzard County was the place for her.

“Y’all are running from the law. What makes you think I wanna drive with you?” Lynn questioned, lightheartedly.

“Well you see ma’am…” Luke began.

“You don’t have to say a thing. I saw him change the sign back there.” Luke smiled.

“So you don’t mind driving with us then?”

“Nope.”

“Hotdog! Get in miss…” Bo began.

“Lynn.” Bo shrugged. Luke moved into the back. Lynn climbed in the window.

“How did you…?”

“Oh come on, I know a race car when I see one. You have a V8 engine under there don’t you?” Bo began to drive again as Enos began to chase the Dukes.

“That’s right. We work really hard on this car to make him stay up to date.”

“Uncle Jesse would club us one if we didn’t,” Luke added.

“What are your names by the way?” Lynn questioned. Luke smiled.

“Well I am Luke and this here is my cousin Bo.”

“It is nice to meet both of you.”

“Where are you staying Miss Lynn?”

“Well uh…”

“You’re staying with us,” Bo remarked.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Dang right we are. There’s no way Uncle Jesse would let us dump you on the street now,” Luke cut in.

“Uncle Jesse?”

“You’ll like him, don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks—thank you so much.”

“Don’t even mention it, Lynn. You know, you will be just like a part of the family.” Lynn smiled. She was so pleased to have these two strangers around. I would be too.

2

Now bringing this young woman home wasn’t goanna be all easy. Uncle Jess—I mean Jesse Duke didn’t mind having the company at all. However, he didn’t like liars and Lynn didn’t make a very good start.

“Hold it, you’re not 18—you are…15 years old ain’t you?” Uncle Jesse said as he looked closely at Lynn. She rolled her eyes. Lynn headed for the door. “Where are your folks?”

“If I had any, I would tell ya,” Lynn answered. She felt bad for lying—she just didn’t wanna be reported.

“You know, I can take a lot of gunk from people. Lying ain’t one of them.”

“Well I am telling the truth, sir.” Jesse looked into her eyes and smiled at her. Lynn’s head lowered as if she had killed someone.

“I believe you.”

“Look Mister Duke, I really am sorry. I didn’t wanna lie, I just wanted to stay here.”

“I know—just don’t lie to me again.”

“Yes sir.”

“Now, you live with a foster family then or do you…”

“Group home for now. They were in the process of moving me. However, I couldn’t stay. They weren’t the nicest people around here.”

“Well—I suppose until we figure this out, you can stay with us. However, you will have to be in school if you’re under my roof. What grade are you in?”

“Grade twelve.”

“You are fifteen and in grade twelve?” Daisy asked.

“Yes, you can make me take a test if you want, Daisy. But I am in Grade twelve,” Lynn replied.

“I don’t care what grade you’re in Lynn as long as you go to school,” Jesse cut in.

“Well she’s in luck, Lynn you’re in all of my classes then,” Bo commented. Lynn smiled. She liked Bo’s personality for sure. He seemed to have a great wit about him. Lynn loved having him around.

“Well why don’t you show her around town? Tomorrow we’ll take her to the school and enroll her.”

“Okay Uncle Jesse.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I would rather stay and help on the farm. Daisy is somewhat incapacitated and I know y’all could use the hand,” Lynn announced.

“Really?” Daisy questioned.

“Sure, why not. I would love to help out around here.”

“You are one good egg, Lynn.” Well you know that did it. Lynn smiled at Daisy. “You might turn out to fit in here.”

“I hope so.” Daisy laughed.

“Come on, there’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Sure there is.”

“Pray that social services don’t find her here,” Luke grumbled.

“Well Luke, we’ll deal with that when it comes. For now, we’ll make our house guest as comfortable as possible,” Jesse answered his nephew.

“I guess but I am still worried about it.”

“So are we but worrying ain’t goanna make it better,” Daisy commented.

“Yeah, I remember when we worried about Daisy staying here,” Bo added.

“And look, I am still here.” Lynn smiled. She loved having the Duke family around her. Mostly because they gave her hope. Hopefully she would be able to stay.

Meanwhile, in town, Roscoe was being pulled in by Dodger. Now friends, he don’t look too happy. Them boys really did do a number on him. I wouldn’t be too happy either.

“So do you wanna have a new one this time?” Dodger asked merrily.

“You hush Dodger!” Roscoe exclaimed. The younger of the two Davenports couldn’t help but laugh.

“Easier said than done, Roscoe, you know that as well as I do.” Dodger opened the door and got out.

“You’re not nice, Davenport, not at all.”

“Sure I am.” He walked around and leaned on the passenger window. “Besides, discovering a new species of bird, I was thrilled, the Coltrane.” Roscoe began waving his fist.

“I should write you a ticket for assaulting an officer.”

“You mean insulting and no, that category doesn’t exist.” Roscoe crossed the street, leaving Dodger to himself. Now, the State police were just collecting up the money that good ol Bo and Luke called about.

That meant good things for Roscoe. There was Sally standing there in uniform. She was talking with Enos. Roscoe cleared his throat. She looked up at him.

“Good morning Sally Hunter,” Roscoe announced. Sally smiled. There was nothing better for her than to see this wonderful man, this Roscoe.

“Why hello there Roscoe,” Sally replied.

“How are you doing?”

“I can’t complain. Work has been fun…especially around Hazzard County.” That was what was funny about good ol Sally. Now this gal wanted to see Roscoe so she volunteered to make any and all trips to Hazzard.

“Well Hazzard is a special place.” They seemed to be connected no matter where good ol Sally was. “People find it to be—amazing.”

“Well tourism has gone up quite a bit.”

“Yeah, Jesse’s book about his family has given us a lot more people. Baddies love to hide here but they can’t hide from the Sheriff, Khee.”

“Roscoe, you are such a cutie pie.”

“Well I try to be.”

“You are succeeding.”

“One of these days we will be married.” Sally laughed. “No really, I will get you a big ol ring and you can have Daisy as your maid of honor. Ooo, and Flash as a bridesmaid.”

“You never know.” Her partner tapped her on the shoulder. “Dang, time to go—well until we meet again huh?”

“I wish you would stay.” Sally laughed as she shook her head. “I miss you Sally.”

“I know, I will be back again.” Sally kissed him on the cheek. She blushed and walked out the door. Now friends, Roscoe looks like he saw his first car.

I guess love is love. Luke and Bo found it with the General Lee. Daisy found it with Dolly. Roscoe has met someone special. Nothing will ever change that.

Sally sighed, not wanting to leave yet but she knew that she had to. Sally tried to put on a smile. She walked out. Roscoe followed, watching as she got into his car. He sighed.

3

Boss Hogg marched out and stood beside Roscoe. “Oh forget about that danged fool of a woman for five minutes. We have plenty of work to do,” Boss Hogg growled. He signaled for Roscoe to follow him.

“What kind of work?” Roscoe asked. He walked into the police department side. Roscoe followed Boss Hogg into his office. Boss sat down in his chair and turned to the filing cabinet.

“You know your fat sister is trying to starve me?”

“Leila means well.”

“I ain’t going on a diet. You better talk her out of it or I am taking my lunch money out of your pay.” Roscoe looked confused.

“Why my pay?”

“You’re her brother ain’t you?”

“Yeah but…”

“Well you should know how to control her from these urges.”

“She’s concerned about it.”

“I don’t care, you stop it or else.” Roscoe gulped hard. Boss Hogg pulled out a large sandwich and rubbed his hands together. “Now, we get to the real business.”

“You’re goanna share your sandwich?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Roscoe.”

“Can I just sniff it?”

“No, you ain’t a dog.” Boss took a bite and began chewing it well. “Now, here’s the deal, I looked up something in Jefferson Davis’ schemes.”

“Ooo, I love his schemes little fat buddy.” Roscoe pinched Boss’ cheeks. Boss Jacob-Daley Hogg didn’t like this. He slapped his brother-in-law.

“I hate when you do that.”

“Sorry Boss.”

“Anyway, I hired men.”

“Are they smart?” Boss Hogg rolled his eyes. “Well you should hire smart men…especially street smart.”

“I ain’t a moron.” Boss Hogg took another bite of his sandwich. He chewed pretty quickly. “You know, we need some good money.”

“For your food?”

“That’s right, for my food. Now, they’re sending money for…” Boss swallowed hard. “Burning.”

“I hate when that happens.”

“So do I, waste of good cash. So I have decided that we’re goanna do something smart. We’re goanna keep the money.”

“Boss I ain’t no genius…”

“No you ain’t.”

“Ain’t the bank goanna give you new money to replace the old stuff?”

“Oh of course they are pea brain.” Boss Hogg pulled out a two quart bottle of soda. “But, we can claim that it was stolen.” He grabbed a large cup and filled it full, sipping it slowly.

“By who?”

“Who do we always blame?”

“Ah…the Duke Boys?”

“The Duke Boys, exactly.”

“There’s just one problem with your plan.”

“What?”

“When the money is taken in, Bo Duke is in school.” Boss Hogg shook his head as he took another bite.

“For once you are right.” Boss Hogg slammed his fist on the desk. “How are we goanna change it?”

“I don’t know, unless the school is flooded in two weeks I…” Boss Hogg snapped his fingers.

“I got it! We cause a flood in the school in two weeks.”

“Well who is goanna do that?” Boss Hogg looked at Roscoe and smiled.

“You are, bonehead.”

“Oh Boss do I have to?” Boss Hogg shook his head yes. Well now that is just dirty. Those boys are in for a roller coaster ride and they don’t even know it. Watch out y’all, this is goanna be dangerous.

4

Now when Lynn signed up for these classes, she was given an option that she thought was neat. Lynn was allowed to go and work in the garage with Cooter and Dodger. Not a bad idea huh?

Lynn could outwit any of the boys in her mechanics class—well except Bo Duke. No one could beat Bo Duke. Well then again, he lives and breathes cars. Bo is in love with the General Lee.

Despite Bo’s abilities with cars, Lynn came pretty close. They seemed to be within seconds of each other. Fixing up cars was nothing for either one of them.

Even the teacher had problems keeping up with Lynn and Bo. Now friends, that is extraordinary in this County. I already knew they were good. That’s why Bo and Lynn were allowed to go to The Davenport Brother’s garage.

Now both Dodger and Cooter didn’t mind them being there at all. It was like having the ultimate sets of hands. Bo was working on Miss Tizdale’s motorcycle. He was almost finished it.

Cooter was working on Roscoe’s police car. He was far from done but that was okay. He enjoyed looking at all the damage Bo and Luke did to the car. This time, they did quite a number on it.

Dodger was on the phone trying to get some new parts. “No, I didn’t say I wanted a fella, I said I wanted some metal…you know, with a T…no, you know the type. I also need some mufflers…MUFFLERS, not muffins,” Dodger was saying.

“Y’all should go to a different parts store,” Bo commented.

“Nah, the guy just needs a new hearing aid,” Cooter told him.

“Well he should get one right quick.”

Lynn couldn’t help but laugh. She was working on her own project in the corner. Lynn was playing with the blow torch welding something for the car she just fixed…Leila’s. She finished, pulling up the helmet.

Lynn took the piece she had just created and put it in water. The heat sizzled the water just lightly. It was a rose with Leila’s name on it. She grabbed a towel and dried it.

“So Lynn…when do you get your driver’s license?” Cooter asked. Lynn grabbed the car glue.

“Well, actually, I am ready to take it now but I don’t turn sixteen until next week,” Lynn replied.

“What’s with the knowledge of cars?”

“When I was younger, I used to race. My foster parents were really in it. I have trophies all over the place at my group home. All saying first place.”

“Woe, that mean’s you’re…”

“Looney Lynn?”

“Yeah.”

“They said that Looney Lynn was a natural born driver. She broke…”

“Every single record.”

“And then…”

“My foster parents died and I was sent to a new place. They wouldn’t let me race. Didn’t care to follow me around all over the US.”

“Looney Lynn was no more.”

“Dang, I knew it. There was something about you,” Bo said from the corner. He started Miss Tizdale’s motorcycle. It purred like nothing. He turned it off.

“Where did you get the nickname anyway?” Cooter questioned before Lynn could say anything to Bo.

“Well, during my first race, my breaks failed,” Lynn began.

“Dang.”

“I crashed into a chain linked fence. When I woke up, I was next to a Canadian who was hurt in a car wreck.”

“Woe.”

“Yeah. She gave me a Looney—a Canadian dollar for luck. We welded it on the front of my car. So from then on it was Looney Lynn.”

“That and you were a crazy driver,” Bo added. Lynn laughed.

“Yes…a little crazy.” Leila walked in and looked at the new chrome rose on the front of her car.

“Lynn—this is beautiful work,” Leila commented.

“Thank you very much.”

“Cooter, if I were you, I wouldn’t let go of this gal.”

“Yeah—I was thinking the same thing,” Cooter answered Leila.

“You know, I wish that everyone was this talented. She is just like you.”

“Only female.” Leila laughed.

“Yes, only in female form.” Lynn smiled. She loved being thought of like Cooter. She and Cooter had shared a special bond. They had so much in common.

“Well I am glad you two are getting along,” Bo said from the corner. He took Miss Tizdale’s bike by the handles.

“You know what? So am I,” Cooter said.

“I hope you two stay friends.”

“Well, I think we can.”

“You mean it?” Lynn asked.

“Of course I do.”

“A lot of people just say they are your friends and then abandon you.”

“Oh come on Lynn, we haven’t ever done that to you,” Bo explained.

“Well you never know with people today.”

“Cooter is kind. He loves meeting new people.”

“I sure do. I wouldn’t lie to such a young lady,” Cooter announced. Lynn’s face lit right up. She couldn’t believe it.

“Well okay then. We’re friends,” Lynn announced.

Lynn was lucky. She really had found her place there. Hopefully it would stay that way. However, she would have a surprise waiting for her after school. Wait and see y’all.

5

The General Lee parked. Bo and Lynn got out of the car. They looked at the social worker who was standing there. Lynn’s head lowered knowing exactly who this was.

Martha and her had been working together for years. Since her favorite parents were killed in a gas explosion, Martha had been her social worker.

“Hello Lynn,” Martha said.

“Hey, how is it going?” Lynn questioned.

“You know, I have been really worried about you.” Lynn rolled her eyes.

“I have been really happy here. Please, let me stay.”

“Please, for once in your life let me finish.”

“Fine.”

“Look, Jesse Duke is a foster parent. He just has never taken anyone in.”

“You mean I can stay?”

“I didn’t say that.” Lynn shook her head. “Look, I know you wanna stay but…”

“But what?”

“Lynn, we have a permanent family who really wants to adopt you.”

“The Ferguson’s? I don’t like them. I already told you that.” Lynn shook her head. “Look, I want to stay here. There are people who care about me.”

“I don’t mind having her here,” Jesse commented.

“I know, you’re only a temporary foster parent. Six months or less,” Martha explained.

“Well then, I’ll keep her for six months. Please Martha, she has grown attached to Hazzard County. Lynn has friends. She is going to school regularly.”

“That is the criteria and I know you know that.”

“Yes I do.”

“Well she still needs permanent residence.”

“What if I could find her a home? Then could she stay?” Lynn’s face lit right up.

“Yes, she should but…”

“Well then, I will look. You give me six months.”

“I will be back soon. If you get one before then…”

“I’ll call you.” Martha handed Jesse her card. “Thank you Martha, you won’t regret this.”

“I know I won’t.” She got into the car and drove off. Lynn looked at Jesse carefully.

“Why?” Lynn questioned.

“Because I care about you a lot. That and you deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks.” Well let’s see if Jesse can find a home for this little gal. Hold on folks, we’ll be praying for her.

6

Bo was sitting there up at the front. Lynn was right beside Danny. They weren’t doing too badly—did I speak too soon? There by Lynn’s feet was the water. You know what that means? Yup, school is goanna be out.

Danny, Bo and Lynn were over the moon with happiness. Although the group loved school immensely, every kid in the world likes when it is let out. Well for now anyway.

“So they said a broken pipe?” Bo questioned as he got in the General.

“Who cares? We’re out of school!” Danny exclaimed.

“I care.” Danny shook his head and rolled his eyes. Now that is something this young man hated about his best friend.

“Look, one minute you say you hate school and the next…”

“Don’t you find this fishy? Middle of the day a pipe bursts? I mean it is…”

“Pipes burst all the time.”

“Bo’s right, it seems too fishy for me,” Lynn commented. Danny rolled his eyes.

“Of course you would agree with him.”

“Seriously…in Montana, I was used to pipes bursting due to the cold.” Lynn took out a ponytail holder and grabbed her long blonde hair. She put it up there without thinking about it.

“So what?”

“Up here there is no reason for it at all. It is pretty warm is it not?” Danny growled.

“Get out. Let’s go research.”

“I thought he would never ask,” Bo said, smiling. Now watch this folks, this is what gets them in trouble. Well that and what is happening on the other side of town.

Riddle for y’all. I am in trouble all the time, I have an orange sign painted above me. Who am I? A Duke, you got it. Now if you add these guys into the situation what do you have? A sitting duck—especially considering they are pointing a gun at Luke’s back.

Now you see Luke’s arms go up. “Don’t try anything, cowboy. Walk into the corner,” The voice said. Luke didn’t look behind him at all. He wished he could see who it was. However, before he could turn around, Luke was bashed in the head by the end of the gun.

The men put him in the car. They began to drive away. Now this looks pretty hopeless. With both sets of Dukes way out there, who knows what will happen. I wanna follow these guys for a minute. I need to know what they are doing with Luke.

Well, they’re stopping so I guess I am about to find out. The two men took Luke out of the car. They set him down. Now he is about a mile from the farm. Now I guess that is okay. Wait, why are they going into his pocket? Uh oh, they’re pulling out the keys.

This ain’t looking good. Nope, if this is goanna turn out how I think it is, Bo and Luke will be in the slammer for a long time and I do mean a long time. I don’t like to think of Hazzard County devoid of a Bo and Luke—that is just weird.

Back at the school, Lynn had just found something. “Bo you have to look at this,” she announced. Bo and Danny both walked over.

“The pipes were hit,” Danny said.

“Whoever did this was aiming to get us out of school. Who would wanna do that?”

“Boss Hogg,” Danny and Bo said at the same time.

“Now that you know who is doing it, we need a motive.”

“Hey Bo, didn’t you say it was laundry day for Boss Hogg?” Danny asked.

“Laundry day?”

“When Boss Hogg has to take his money to be burned and get new money.” Bo smiled and then his face went blank.

“Bo what’s wrong?”

“If I am right Lynn, we’re being framed as we speak,” Bo replied. Yup, Bo’s right.

“Well, you have us to back you up.”

“Boss will say that Danny is my friend and that he would support me no matter what.”

“Well he can’t say that about me.”

“Nope.”

“Good.”

“He’ll say that you are a no good orphan and you can’t be trusted.”

“What are we goanna do then?”

“WE are goanna find Luke.”

“No offense Bo but we don’t have time to do that. What we need to do is get that money back to the bank before it is deemed missing,” Danny cut in.

“What if he is in trouble?”

“Luke is a Duke. You know as well as I do that they haven’t killed him if they’re framing him.”

“But…”

“Bo…”

“Yeah I know.”

“They have probably taken General Lee two to frame him.”

“Fine, what’s the plan, Point Dexter?”

“Uh…”

“Well you know the car, just follow it and shoot dynamite at it. Come on men, why would we need to think? I’ll drive,” Lynn commented.

“You don’t have a license, I’ll drive,” Bo replied.

“Maybe you don’t know that.” Bo gave her the look. “Bo, I can’t shoot an arrow to save my life.”

“Fine, I’ll drive,” Danny commented.

“You? You drive like an old lady,” Bo growled.

“I do not.”

“Come on y’all, I am a good driver,” Lynn announced.

“Fine but if we get caught…”

“Who says they’ll see who I am?” They walked outdoors to the General Lee one. She slid on the hood of the car. Now today boys and girls Miss Looney Lynn Franklin will be the equivalent of Bo—who loves to drive. Bo will be switching roles and shooting arrows.

Lynn put a helmet on her head. “I sure hope you know what you’re doing,” Danny said.

“I do, I have driven before you were issued your license.” Bo put a helmet on his head. “Well shall I hit it?”

“Go ahead,” Bo answered her. Well they were off and I wondered how this was goanna turn out. I can’t look y’all.

The General Lee two was driving along with the two masked men in it. You wouldn’t believe how fast Lynn caught up with them. I guess they don’t call her a crazy driver for nothing.

“Hold her steady Lynn,” Bo commented.

“You got it Bo,” Lynn replied.

“Now watch how a Duke works.” He pushed his way out of the window. Bo grabbed his Bow and arrows. Bo let one fly. As the dynamite went off, the men crashed into a tree.

“Keep showing off.”

“Alright we will,” Danny replied.

“Yeah, Danny and me can handle this one,” Bo added. Danny and Bo got out, ready to punch and kick. They did their job faster than usual. Lynn came out with rope and hog tied the two of them.

“Now look boys, we don’t have room for both of y’all in the car. So we’re goanna have to stick one of ya in the trunk,” Lynn commented. Danny couldn’t help but laugh. Bo walked over to the CB.

“Yo, this lost sheep two calling Crazy Cooter, come back,” Bo said over the CB radio.

“Breaker one, Breaker one, I am surely crazy but I ain’t dumb CRAAAAAZY Cooter comin’ at ya, I got my ears peeled and listening. What do you need good buddy, come back?” Cooter returned.

“Well Coot, we need a tow truck at Possum Hollow. General Lee Two is napping on his side.”

“Well that’s a 10-4. I’ll send ol’ Dodge out to get him. Is Luke alright?” Bo’s eyes shifted.

“He wasn’t in the car. We’re goanna drop off this money and then go and look for him.”

“What money?”

“The money that belonged to the bank, dah!” Cooter’s eyes shifted.

“Okay…”

“Hey Cooter, why can’t you pick up the General Lee two?” Cooter straightened his tie. He put a suit jacket on and did up the buttons.

“Because I ain’t in the office today.”

“Why not?”

“Do I have to tell you everything?” Cooter straightened his suit jacket. He put his hand to his face, smelling his breath. “I am late for an appointment.”

“What kind of an appointment?”

“The kind where you have to leave to get there.”

“I see.”

“Look, I gotta go. I’ll see ya later.”

“Alright, 10-4.” Now this is good. Still, when I first heard this story I wondered why Cooter was in a suit. Don’t worry y’all, all will be answered in a minute.

7

Now Bo dropped Danny off before looking for Luke. He looked high and low. Finally, he thought of where he would drop him off—the Duke farm. Sure enough, Lynn found him hunched over trying to get free from the ropes.

Bo began laughing. He began imitating Luke, moving in the exact way he was. Luke glared at Bo. Now the younger cousin just winked. Lynn couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re not funny, cousin,” Luke told him.

“Well I think I am, cousin,” Bo answered.

“Can you untie me, cousin?”

“Sure cousin. If you tell me I am funny.” Lynn began laughing. Bo smiled.

“Quit showing off.”

“I ain’t showing off.”

“You sure are.”

“Oh boys, settle this like men. Luke, you punch first,” Lynn joked.

“That ain’t funny Lynn.”

“Sure it is, you’re all tied up and you won’t tell Bo he’s funny because of your pride. Now, why don’t you solve this normally and just let go?”

“Well…”

“Come on, Pride doesn’t do anything for anyone.”

“Bo, you’re funny.”

“That’s better Luke,” Bo replied. He took out his knife and cut Luke free. “You know, someone stole the General Lee two.”

“Oh we better go find them.”

“I did.”

“You mean we did,” Lynn cut in.

“Whatever.”

“Well, is he okay?” Luke questioned.

“Luke, I am sure that he will be just fine. Has some owies but I am sure Dodger can fix them.”

“What happened to Cooter?”

“I don’t know, he said he had some appointment over the CB,” Lynn explained.

“That ain’t like Cooter. Who would he be meeting?”

“Beats the heck out of me. We have been busy all evening trying to find you.”

“Why didn’t you jump for help Luke?” Bo questioned.

“Simple, this guy ties a good knot,” Luke answered his cousin. Lynn laughed softly to herself. “No really, I have been working on it all day.”

“You wanna lift?” Bo smiled and Luke couldn’t help but catch on.

“Sure thing but there’s a catch.”

“What?”

“I’m driving.”

“Okay.” Luke crocked an eyebrow. Usually Bo would fight him on it.

“Are you alright?”

“Fine, Luke, just fine.” They got in the General Lee. As they drove back to the farm, there was Martha waiting for them. Lynn swallowed hard. She didn’t understand. Why had Martha come so early for her?

Better yet, why did she have a big smile on her face? Lynn wasn’t ready to leave Hazzard and Martha knew that. How could she stay? Lynn couldn’t help but think it in her mind. Everyone got out of the car, expecting the worst.

“Hello Martha,” Lynn mumbled.

“Hello Lynn,” Martha replied. Lynn sighed she shook her head softly. “What is wrong child?”

“You’re making me leave…you’re going against your promise. Why?”

“Lynn, we found a home for you. It is a good home and…”

“Don’t say anymore Martha, you know as well as I do nothing compares to Hazzard County.”

“Lynn, you need to get in the car,” Jesse announced. Lynn sighed.

“I’ll do it for you.” Lynn got into the black Dodge van. She sighed softly, shaking her head. Lynn really didn’t want to leave her friends.

“Uncle Jesse, how can you let her leave?” Bo questioned.

“Yeah, we love her being around. She saved our bacons,” Luke added.

“She helped me return the money so Boss Hogg wouldn’t frame us.”

“Boys, trust me, this is a good home for her. She won’t be far away,” Jesse commented. The car continued driving.

“You know this ain’t fair.”

“Bo, you know she had to go. It was important. Lynn needed a real home. Staying here the full six months would have made it harder.”

“Yeah but to let her go after two weeks? Now she’s goanna miss out on everything a normal child would have in…”

“Hazzard County is far from normal.”

“I know but…”

“But what? I did my best. I found her a good home. You have to believe in me once in a while.”

“Uncle Jesse, we do believe in you. We’re just goanna miss her,” Luke finished off.

“I know you are boys but like I said she will be really close by.”

“How close is close?”

“Well…” I ain’t goanna spoil this one for you. You’re just goanna have to wait until I wanna tell you. Hold onto your pant legs folks, this could get muddy.

8

Lynn sat in silence as she looked out the window. She saw the trees that she had climbed with Luke. Lynn knew that the young man didn’t want to do it but she knew that Luke needed some fun in his life.

Luke always seemed to want to do practical things. Lynn wouldn’t let him get away with it for one second. She loved pushing ol Luke to do things he wouldn’t do anymore.

As they continued to drive, Martha put a hand on Lynn’s shoulder. The young fifteen year old pulled away. “Happy early birthday, I know it is on Friday,” Martha said.

“Well, I will be celebrating it with strangers,” Lynn grumbled. Martha sighed. She knew nothing that she would say would prepare Lynn for where she was going.

As a promise to Jesse Duke, Martha wasn’t going to tell Lynn the location. She would just have to find that out for herself. It was weird that Jesse would make such a claim for a promise. However, Lynn would like this surprise and Jesse Duke knew it.

Although everything seemed well, this young girl didn’t think it would work out. All Lynn could think about was what she left back on the Duke Farm.

“They really care about you that Bo and Luke,” Martha said, breaking the silence. It was as if she was reading the thoughts of Lynn.

“Yeah they do. I care about them also. And I care about Daisy. She is a good friend to me. I really liked spending time with her. Staying up all night just to help her out,” Lynn answered.

“They’ll always be your friends, no matter where you go to.”

“I know—I just wish I could have had them for a few more weeks before I had to leave.”

“Don’t you think that would have been a lot harder?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well to have someone so loving around here and then to loose them.”

“I don’t think it would have been hard at all.”

“I do. They are good people and to loose the love of good people is…”

“You know, it was like with my fifth foster parents. You know, when they would take me to races and such.”

“They were kind weren’t they?”

“Yeah but like everything else they were taken away from me.”

“Lynn…”

“You don’t understand.”

“I can’t unless you tell me.”

“They were so wonderful. Everything Tina and Burt did for me just made me feel very special. They loved me for being me. They didn’t worry about—about who I was before.”

“I know.”

“They were willing to take me places. Burt and Tina were real parents to me. And…in a split second I lost them.”

“I know it was hard but…”

“No you don’t know.” Lynn’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re taking another place away from me.”

“I am not.”

“Jesse Duke cared about me. He would lay down his life for any of us.” Lynn wiped her face with her sleeve. “Social Services is a mean bunch of people. You know that? They want to hurt everyone.”

“No we don’t.” Martha pulled off at a farm. “We’re here.”

“I thought you were taking me outside of Hazzard.”

“I didn’t say that.” Lynn got out of the car. She closed the door softly.

“Who would…?”

“You’ll see.” She looked at the front door as it opened. A man slowly walked out in a suit. Yes, it was Cooter. Lynn’s eyes widened.

“You know what? I thought about what Leila said. She talked about how I shouldn’t let you go. I didn’t think that you should be anywhere else but Hazzard County. If you’ll have me…” Cooter began.

Lynn wouldn’t let him finish another word. She ran up and hugged him. Cooter smiled. I told you this was a love story. I guess the kind of love was different than you expected huh?

“Oh Cooter, I would be honored to be your daughter,” Lynn announced. She didn’t want to let go of him. I wouldn’t want to either.

I told you we like happy endings…in Hazzard County.

by: Essy Jane

“How about this one Bo?” Danny asked as he held up a book. Welcome to Hazzard County. Land of the free and home of the strange—well stay awhile and you’ll find out.

“War and peace? Nah, I already read that one remember?” Bo answered.

“We have to hand in this book report.”

“I know, I am the one that is assigning it remember?” Danny rolled his eyes. Well that’s what happens when you wanna play teacher. Bo was really good at it but it didn’t mean that he wanted to keep up with the gag.

“Well tell me prince, how are you supposed to assign one if you haven’t picked one for the whole class to read?” Bo pulled his hair back.

“Teaching class was supposed to be only for a few weeks.” Bo pulled out another book. Not one he was looking for at all. He shook his head, putting it back. “These dang teachers kept me going at it.” Danny began laughing.

“You’re a laugh and a half.”

“It ain’t funny Danny!”

“Well it is your fault you know.” Danny continued to skim through books. As he pulled out one book, it fell apart. Danny picked up the pieces and shook his head.

“That was your fault.”

“Yes, I know.” Danny thought for a minute. He tapped his temple with his pinky. The rest of his fingers were in a fist.

“What are you doing?”

“Thinking.”

“AH FIRE!” Danny glared at his friend. Bo smiled. “It was a joke.

“Dang it, what was I saying?”

“Before or after you destroyed the book?” Danny rolled his eyes. He hated when Bo was in one of those moods. You know, a come back for everything.

“Before the book fell apart.”

“Come on, you murdered a good classic.”

“You didn’t even read the title.”

“I did too.”

“You did not.”

“Come on Bo! What was I saying?

“I’m a laugh and a half—its my fault…”

“Oh yeah! I remember now.” Danny handed the book to the librarian without looking back. She snarled at him but brought the book up to be fixed. “You said you liked teaching and that it was easy.”

“Well I take it back, I am sick of lesson guides and picking books. Leave it to the professionals.” Danny started laughing again. “No seriously, when I am out of school, I will stick to farming.”

“I think you’re too daring for farming.”

“Nah, it keeps you honest.”

“How do you mean?” Danny showed Bo another book. Bo shook his head no.

“Well, when you work you get tired right?” Bo held up a book and Danny shook his head.

“Yeah.”

“Well how much damage can you do when you’re tired all the time?”

“Are you kidding? Take yourself as an example.” Bo laughed.

“You’re right.” Bo laughed. “Perfect.”

“What is?”

“Haven’t you been paying attention? We’re looking for books.” Danny examined the cover.

“It looks like it was homemade.”

“So?”

“So won’t it be hard for the class to read one book between them?”

“We’ll read it in class.” Look how well Bo can solve problems? Not bad for a Duke huh? He had the biggest smile on his face.

“Oh don’t get overconfident, Bo.”

“I ain’t overconfident—just self-satisfied.” Danny rolled his eyes. Sometimes Bo was so childish.

“That means the same thing.” Bo shrugged like Danny’s answer had no significance at all. That kind of angered Bo’s friend—I would be grumpy too though.

“Does it? Does it really?” Bo rubbed his chin. “I had no idea, dear Danny.” Bo winked. Danny slapped his friend in the back of the head.

“Owe that hurt!” Danny laughed. He shook his head.

“Well you earned it Bo.”

“I did not.”

“You wanna make a bet?”

“No.” Danny laughed.

“Smart man.”

“Well not really, I just am on probation and if I gambled illegally, Roscoe would be after me.” Danny rolled his eyes.

“You are…”

“I am without a solution?” Danny shook his head. “Am I unattainable?” Danny shook his head. “Hmm, I need to narrow this down.”

“Yes you do.”

“I am unworkable?”

“No, that’s not it.” Danny and Bo both thought for a minute. A look of clarity came upon Bo’s face.

“Impossible?”

“Yeah, that is the word I was looking for. How did you know?”

“Now this is a trouble-free enlightenment.”

“Just hurry up with it Confucius.”

“Luke says I am impossible all the time.” Danny couldn’t help but laugh at his friend.

“I think that’s why Luke and I get along so well.”

“Thumbs down to that one Danny—you have it all wrong. That’s why we get along so well.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Basically, my theory is the reason why we get along so soundly is because Luke and you are so much alike.”

“I never thought of it that way.” Bo laughed. “What is it now?”

“Oh nothing.”

“Beauregard Duke!”

“Don’t call me by that unpleasant horrifying awful name.”

“What Beauregard?” Bo shuttered and glared at his friend Danny with all his might.

“Yes, that name.”

“Then tell me what you were laughing about.”

“FINE, you’re slow.” Bo ran through the library. Well that is until the librarian caught him.

“No running,” Mrs. Cadre said.

“Yes ma’am,” Bo replied. Yeah I know, you think this ain’t strange. This is two friends interacting. Come on folks, this does have something to do with today’s adventure in Hazzard County, honest. So sit down and eat your popcorn all.

2

Okay, here we go. We’re here in the woods. Oh don’t give me that look either. Many adventurous things happen in the woods. No really, I mean it. Have you ever read Snow White and the seven—uh, little people? Well come on, the world is so technical now.

Anyhow, Daisy and Luke were waiting for the perfect time to strike. You see those two men down there? Well one is named Simon and the other Ormond. They robbed the bank in Capital City.

Now with Bo busy, Daisy and Luke make a good team. She shoots arrows better than the next man. I mean that in the nicest way. Daisy has always had some tomboy in her. From the very beginning she has been working dang hard to keep pretty but able to fight.

Now Daisy had her Jeep and Luke General Lee Two. Therefore if these slick crooks were goanna try and make the slip, they could catch them with ease. Ain’t those Dukes smart now?

“How do you wanna do this?” Daisy asked. Luke thought about it for a second. “You know, the more you think about it the more they’re thinking too.”

“Yeah I know, I just wanna get this right,” Luke replied.

“What is there to get right? You jump, say heehaw and then let out a yehaw or yahoo. You get rid of the guns and fight skin on skin.”

“What would I do without you?” Daisy’s eyebrows rose.

“Who knows, Luke.” They jumped down and looked at their next target. Daisy smiled as she waved. “Heehaw.” The men looked at her. She was a good distraction. “You boys look pretty cute.” They came closer to her.

“Well you look pretty sweet yourself,” Simon commented.

“Glad to be here.” You wouldn’t believe the smile that I see on this boy’s face. “What’s your name stranger?”

“Uh…Simon.”

“I’m Ormond,” Ormond added.

“Well sugars, there is enough of me for both of you. So let’s go for a group hug,” Daisy cut in. She hugged both of them, grabbing their guns from their pockets and throwing them.

Now it was Luke’s turn to come down. Daisy took the smaller of the two, Ormond while Luke handled Simon. “I could have gone for a girl like you,” Ormond said.

“Well too bad honey, I don’t date bank robbers.” She hit him in the face. The guy was flung to the ground. Daisy’s eyebrows went up. She rubbed her hands together.

Luke was doing well also. He kicked the guy down. However, Simon bounced back up. Luke knew what he was doing though. He went right back up, head butting him in the stomach. Now ain’t this a pretty sight.

Daisy managed to get Ormond down to her level which sometimes was a pretty hard thing to do. “So when to I get my kiss?” Ormond asked. She growled. Daisy kicked him down again, she held his neck with her high heel.

“Kiss this,” Daisy grumbled. She got down to his level and punched him in the stomach.

“I like them wild.” Ormond got up. He was still out of breath when Daisy got him again.

“Well then you won’t want me because I ain’t wild sir, I am bad to the bone.”

“Yes, I am sure you are.”

“You should know, you’re worse than I am.”

“How do you figure?”

“You seem like the twisted type to me.”

“Well we’ll just see about that.” This time, Ormond was goanna play it smart. He grabbed some dirt and as he rose, he threw it in Daisy’s face. Daisy could see. He grabbed her and took his pocket knife out.

“Let me go!” He put the knife to her throat.

“Hold it farm boy or the girl gets it.” Luke stopped. He nodded to Daisy. She grabbed his arm and flipped him, getting the knife back. However, Ormond had a plan still. He shoved Daisy. Simon pushed Luke. They headed to their cars.

“Easy huh?” Luke questioned.

“In theory Luke but this is still Hazzard County. You always have to know that there is a back up plan to every plan,” Daisy replied. Luke nodded softly.

“Yeah I get that now.” Luke got up and gave Daisy a hand. “So what’s the plan, Miss Daisy?”

“I know they’re taking Miller Road. I’ll go cross country and cut them off. You keep on them like you’ve never done before.”

“Right on Daisy!” Now this is an adventure. Hang onto your chips and dip folks, you don’t want it to be knocked over now do ya?

3

As they continued to drive, Luke and Daisy got further apart from each other. Luke was well on their tail. However, the gunshot threw the window wasn’t exactly comforting. Yes ladies and Gentlemen, they found their guns before getting back in their cars.

Good for them—not so good for the Dukes themselves. Luke swayed back and forth to avoid anything being shot up. He seemed to be doing a good job. Daisy had managed to get into position.

“Lost sheep one this here is the Bo Peep, I am here, come back,” Daisy told her cousin over the CB. Luke smiled.

“10-4 Cousin, I am waiting for them to stop,” Luke replied. He turned the wheel making sure he covered the south end. Luke smiled as he put down the CB. “Here we go.”

Those guys didn’t stop, no, instead they clipped Daisy’s jeep—knocking it over. Now how can someone do that to Miss Daisy? Don’t worry none though, it caused them to roll their car.

Luke first had to chase down the guys that were running in the car. He noticed they weren’t carrying guns. This was goanna make his job easier. Luke grabbed the rope sitting in the passenger’s seat.

He punched both of them within a matter of seconds. Luke tied them up with ease. He dragged them with him. Sitting them both down by Daisy’s jeep. Luke took the last piece of rope and attached both sets of hands to part of the jeep.

“Daisy, are you okay?” Luke questioned. Daisy looked up at Luke. She shook her head no. “What’s wrong with you?”

“My leg—I think it’s busted,” Daisy answered her cousin. Luke shook his head. He looked at her leg it was stuck in her jeep pretty well.

“How does your neck feel?”

“Fine.” Luke moved his hands up her spine on the back of her.

“Can you loosen these ropes?” Simon asked.

“BE QUIET!” Luke exclaimed. He continued to feel down her spine. “No cracks or swelling. Does anything else hurt?” Daisy pushed back her hair. There was blood rolling down the side of her head. “Dang! This is all my fault.” Daisy laughed.

“No Luke, it was—my plan.”

“How can you laugh at a time like this, you’re hurt.”

“Yeah but alive.” Now Daisy always did have a good way with words.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am. I was lucky they didn’t hit me too hard.” Luke smiled. He took his shirt off and ripped it into strips. “That’s your favorite shirt.”

“You’re more important than a shirt.” Daisy smiled.

“Thanks Luke.” He slowly bunched up a piece of fabric into a ball. He put it on Daisy’s forehead. Luke took the longer strips and used them to hold on the ball of fabric.

“That should stop the bleeding for now.”

“Go call Enos and the tow trucks. You can take me to the hospital.” Luke nodded. He walked over to the General Lee and looked back.

“Are you sure I should leave you alone?”

“Get calling, Luke.”

“Breaker, breaker this is Luke Duke calling our local yokels, either Sheriff Coltrane or Deputy straight. Ya have your ears on, come back?” Luke asked over the CB. For all of those who have problems with their CB lingo, local yokels are the local police.

“This is Enos here Luke, what do you need, come back?” Enos replied.

“Look, we got two goons for you attached to Daisy’s rolled jeep on Miller road. They robbed Capital City bank.”

“That’s a 10-4 Luke, I am on my way.”

“Ah Breaker one breaker one I feel a little crazy but I ain’t all that dumb, crazy Cooter comin’ at ya, did you just say rolled jeep Lucas come back?” Cooter asked, in one breath. Dang that boys is good with his CB talk.

“That’s a 10-4 Cooter, we have that and a pregnant roller skate that the police will need for evidence. Would y’all be so kind as to pick them up?”

“Well 10-4 Luke, I can pick up Dolly and the Volkswagon is Daisy alright, over?”

“Ah…she’s banged up pretty good but she’ll live. I got to get her to the hospital.”

“Dang, ya want a meat wagon?”

“Negative, I’ll drive her myself and Enos can take dumb and dumber to the hospital.”

“I’ll radio Jesse on the regular channel and let him know.”

“10-4 Cooter and out.” Now I bet you’re wondering what these guys and Bo giving a book report assignment have in common…well so do I. I was just told that they were in common. Don’t ask me.

4

Bo, Cooter, Jesse and Dodger rushed into the emergency room. Luke was sitting there shirtless. He looked up at the people who he knew as immediate family.

“Woe, what’s with the stranded look?” Bo questioned his cousin.

“Oh, I used it on Daisy…my shirt I mean,” Luke replied. Bo took of his yellow shirt, revealing the blue one underneath.

“Here, I don’t wanna look at that all day.” Luke smiled, thanking him without words. Now that there is friendship. I know, you don’t get it do ya?

For all those who don’t know Bo that well, let me educate you. When Bo says something like, ‘Here, I don’t wanna look at that all day’, he actually means, ‘You look cold, here, have my shirt.’ Bo just doesn’t wanna look all tender and stuff.

“So how is Daisy?” Jesse asked as Luke buttoned the shirt.

“She’s okay—Daisy’s a tough cookie. She just broke her leg. Doc says she’ll need stitches and a cast. She has a concussion but will be okay,” Luke answered his uncle.

“I hope y’all didn’t do this in vain.”

“Nope, we caught the crooks. Enos came to the hospital and said there was reward money for it and that Daisy and me were getting it.”

“Well we Dukes ain’t in it for the reward.”

“I know that, I talked to Daisy and she said we should give it to the library for new books.”

“Good man.”

“Can I see my cousin already?” Bo questioned.

“Go ahead cousin,” Luke replied.

“How much longer will she be here?”

“They wanna keep her for a couple of hours and then they’ll release her.”

“Good thing.”

“You might as well keep her company. You are the funny one.”

“I sure am.” Bo walked into the room and looked at Daisy. She shook her head.

“What?”

“I must have frightened everyone,” Daisy answered. Bo sat on the edge of her bed.

“Can I sign it?” Daisy laughed as she shook her head. “Come on, I know it is childish but you need something there besides the pink—too bright for words.”

“Go ahead.” As Bo wrote on her cast he looked at her face.

“What is wrong?”

“Just a little down I guess.” Bo smiled.

“As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, ‘Derrick, I just heard on the radio that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!’ Well Herman cleared his throat and said, ‘It’s not just one car, It’s hundreds of them!’ What do you think?” Daisy began laughing.

“You’re nuts.”

“I have got hundreds of them.”

“Well then shoot.” Bo thought about it for a minute. “Come on, if you have hundreds of them, you should be able to pull one out of your hat right now.”

“I can and will.”

“Prove it.”

“What is the difference between Coy and a battery?”

“I don’t know.”

“At least the battery has a positive side.” Daisy began laughing but not on purpose. She stopped and looked at her cousin.

“That was mean.”

“Then why did you laugh?” Daisy shrugged. Bo smiled as always. “Exactly.”

“Bo, you shouldn’t be so mean to your brother.” Bo shrugged and straightened up his shoulders. “I’m serious. You should treat him better.”

“Look, when I learn how to treat him better then I will but for now, I ain’t promising anything.”

“Bo…”

“Well if you like him so much, you go be nice to him.”

“Do something for me okay? Try and be nice to him when he’s not here at least.”

“Why?”

“When he is here at least he can defend himself.”

“Fine.” Bo raised his right hand. “I Bo…”

“Re-gaurd.” Bo rolled his eyes.

“I Beauregard Duke, do solemnly swear that I won’t be mean to my brother, Coy, as much when he can’t defend himself.”

“As much?”

“Well that’s a good promise for me, Daisy.” She laughed and shook her head.

“You are…”

“Impossible?”

“Yeah…you are.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that.” Daisy laughed even more than before.

“You are also a funny man, Bo Duke.”

“Why thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Bo winked. He ticked Daisy. She flung her cast in the air and knocked him in the head.

“Owe.” Daisy laughed.

“Your fault, you started tickling me.”

“Well you kicked me. Maybe I should break my promise because of that.”

“Really?”

“No.” Now you see? Bo is the funny one ain’t he? Yeah I know, still nowhere near the bad guys and the book report theory. Well let’s wait and see what happens.

5

Welcome to Grade twelve English class, staring Bo Duke. Now remember, Bo is stuck being the English teacher and the social teacher. He still has to take tests and exams with the other students. So Bo thought to himself, what’s the point?

I think the teachers of this school really have him paying attention in class. Well Bo doesn’t like doing it at all. He would rather catch his thirty winks.

Now don’t get me wrong folks, Bo is a very gifted student. However, without motivation or a pathway, life can be boring. Bo sees most of his classes as something that is beneath him. He would rather work on the General Lee all day long than go to these classes.

Well that’s where his motivation is. I could see it now, Bo on the NASCAR circuit. However, even the best NASCAR racers tell you that education is important. Bo would listen to them. I know that piece of information is quite true.

The whole class seems to be amazed with this story already and it is only the second day of reading it. Yes, that means Daisy’s at home. Luke’s taking care of her—don’t worry about it. Stick to the task at hand will ya?

Where is the teacher you ask? Well look to your left…all the way in the back. The teacher’s round rump was firmly placed on the stool. She had her arms placed on her lap. The teacher seemed to enjoy listening to Bo as he read.

* * *

<The Shoddy Adventures of Leonardo Domino>
< Written by: Gregory Limestone >

The nighttime had become time-consuming, more so than I had ever seen it. With the passing of the third hour of the morning, I began to converse with myself as to the life here. I seemed to do this a lot lately, wondering if these journeys were worth the wait.

After all, man could go mad under these very conditions. Eating nothing but cheap food, most of the crew had become ill. I was advantageous enough to still be in good health. Though in body I was fine, I felt as if my mind had become sick under pressure.

I hadn’t seen a woman in months. The burning for companionship became plain as the nose on your face. All I wanted was five minutes alone with a lady.

Considering where I was this was not at all possible. Still, I wanted to smell the sweet perfume, dance in the company of this velvet woman. Would I get the chance? I knew not.

Heading for these lands, these Americas made me feel frantic and disturbed. Who knew what these lands might hold? Especially considering the American Revolution only happened three years before.

The waves of the ocean seemed to launch our enormous ship into an assortment of directions. There was no light with the exception of the lanterns burning throughout the vessel and the moon.

The bright moon was continuously was sheltered by the clouds themselves. It was in short supply to my eyes. I could not see it at all for the most part. It played with my senses every second.

My fellow workers were getting weary of Leonardo’s ways. He seemed to never want to listen to the preponderance hold of the group, thus causing us to want to mutiny more and more by each hour that passed.

Times were bleak and uninviting. The life of the people was slowly draining. Finding a treasure Leonardo’s ancestors, that was our task. As it had said in their memoirs, the group of ravenous pirates had left in it the fog of a new world.

All we had to probe such theories was a map and a lot of hope. It was buried on an island—which was now part of a place called New York. Who knew what this place held for us.

* * *

Bo closed the book. Everyone looked at him, especially the girls. They sighed when he stopped reading. “Don’t worry my beauties, we will continued the rest tomorrow,” Bo announced. The bell rang and everyone left.

Bo closed the book. He put it down on the desk for a minute as he collected up his other books. As he grabbed the homemade book, something fell out of it. It was made out of cloth, folded just nicely. He picked it up and stuck it back in without thinking about it.

Now school was over. Since nothing happened on Fridays practice wise, Bo got in the General Lee with Danny. “That story was so weird,” Danny commented.

“How do you mean, I liked it, Bo answered his friend. Danny shrugged.

“Well, it seemed like it wasn’t a book…like it was real.” Bo turned the corner. He went cross country going for a jump. Danny didn’t flinch for one minute. “You know, like the part where they went from the seas of Italy after Leonardo stole the riches of the overlord?”

“It is just some guy trying to tell a ridiculous story.” Danny shook his head.

“Bo, it was too real for that. I think the story is true. What if there is a buried treasure in New York?”

“There ain’t anymore even if the story was true.”

“What do you mean?”

“Read the end of the book today. Apparently, Leonardo moved his treasure after drugging his crew.”

“Woe!”

“That way it could be all his—the only one he didn’t go after was Gregory who came part way with him.”

“Geeze, what a guy.”

“However, he wasn’t let anywhere near him while Leonardo buried the treasure inland. He made a map on canvas.”

“Weird, then what happened?”

“Well you see, Leonardo and Gregory got back on their horses and rode back.”

“So they escape?”

“I’m not finished yet.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay, I still like ya.” Danny began laughing he shook his head. There was a sudden silence between the two of them.

“Come on.”

“Come on what?”

“You know what, get on with it.”

“As they were riding the crew ram shackled him. When Leonardo didn’t tell about the whereabouts of the treasure, they killed him. Gregory managed to get away. He went back to the place he was and hid the map somewhere.”

“So no one knows where the map is?”

“Nope—this is a tall tale though remember?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Danny stop living in a dream world. You think that there could be treasure buried in Georgia or some other place around here?”

“You know, it would be pretty dang cool.”

“Would you get off it? Dang it, I wish there was some sort of treasure but until pigs fly without courtesy airplanes, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Yeah, sure Bo.”

“Good, you finally have some sense in ya.”

“Why? If I listen to you, how much sense could I possibly have?” Bo glared at him. “Personally, I think there’s something about that book. As homemade as it looks it is…”

“I don’t think so. Now that is enough!” Danny rubbed his chin. Now he wasn’t too sure that it was fake. It sounded—well pretty dang real. I guess we’ll find out won’t we?
6

Daisy looked pretty bored to tears sitting on that couch. She wished there was something else to do. Daisy looked up at Bo as he wrote the questions for his book report. She sat there writing something in her notebook. Daisy had nothing much to do.

Now she demanded that she would have something to do besides collect dust. Jesse kept telling her that she had to wait to heal. You know Daisy though. She is just as stubborn as the rest of the Dukes.

Why yesterday, she tried to wash dishes while leaning on the crutches. Daisy forgot she was on crutches and fell to the ground. Luke picked her up and threw her on the couch telling her to stay there.

You think she would listen? Of course not—she’s a Duke after all. No, Daisy got right back up and decided she could be useful. Now you think that feeding the chickens while on crutches is a good idea? Well I don’t.

Daisy put the bucket on her arm. She began hobbling along with the bucket. Well the dog, Brutus began chasing a little ol fox out of the field. He rammed the crutch right out of Daisy’s hand. Once again she was on the ground.

This time, Uncle Jesse saw her. He picked her up and sat her back on the couch. Now you can imagine how annoying this got. Daisy stayed there the rest of the day.

Actually, the next day, she did find something to do. Daisy sat there and did a whole lot of sewing. She fixed Bo and Luke’s britches. Daisy fixed the hole in Uncle—err—uh Jesse’s hat.

She couldn’t exactly hobble around the horses to clean them. Or wash the laundry and hang it to dry. Sewing kept Daisy sane. She wasn’t a burden.

Now she was having a well deserved break. However, Daisy hated sitting there all the same. She felt like she was useless. Well you and I know she ain’t that way at all.

Bo continued to think about the questions. He bit on the end of his pencil and snapped his fingers. Bo wrote another one down. He continued working. But as most Dukes, he was getting bored. Bo smiled as he looked up.

“Are you staring at me?” Daisy asked from under her notebook. Bo bit on his bottom lip and looked back down at his paper. “Well are you?”

“Now Daisy Duke, why would I do that? I have important work to do,” Bo answered, filled with his innocent voice. You know, innocent but guilty.

“Yeah sure, which girl are you thinking about?” Bo began to laugh.

“You think that’s all I do? Think about girls?”

“Which one?” Bo smiled.

“You.”

“Me?”

“Sure, can’t a cousin think of his cousin’s woes and worries?” Daisy shrugged as she laughed. She propped herself on the pillow. She squinted at the book sitting on the table.

“What’s that?”

“Oh just one of the pages that fell out of the book—I think.”

“Hand it over.” Bo took the folded canvas cloth out of the book and gave it to Daisy. She opened it with awareness—most delicately. Daisy gasped. “Bo, it’s a map.”

“Did Danny put you up to this?” Daisy crocked an eyebrow. She stared at Bo like he was extremely nuts. “Obviously not, sorry Daisy.”

“Bo you ain’t goanna believe this but—that’s Razorback Mountain that it is buried on. On the rough trail side.”

“You mean the one that Luke sprained his ankle trying to get up?”

“Uh huh—obviously has been there for a while. Looks like before the copper miners got up there. By a big bunch of shrubs.” Bo shook his head. “What is it?”

“I’m goanna have to tell Danny he was right.” Now wouldn’t you know it? Roscoe was outside listening to the whole thing. Now ain’t that typical?

You know as well as I do, Roscoe was heading to Boss’ place. Soon, Boss Hogg had the news. “Buried treasure?” Boss Hogg questioned.

“Yes sir,” Roscoe replied.

“You don’t have some chickens rooming in your head do you. I mean you really heard that there was treasure.”

“Oh yeah Boss, TREASURE KHEE.”

“You mean Arrrr—there be treasure.”

“No, I ain’t no, Khee. That’s my way of finding treasure.” Boss rolled his eyes. “So you want me to follow them?”

“No pea brain, let them do the hard work. If you didn’t remember, the ghost town on Razorback Mountain is being restored as a museum. The only way up is UP, UP.”

“You mean up the hard side?”

“Yes. You and me may want gold but I ain’t willin’ to get dirty for it.”

“Now Boss, how are they goanna get down from there with the big box?”

“Let them worry about it that. Roscoe, this gold will be worth millions and it will be ours.” Roscoe smiled.

“Fifty, fifty?”

“You get twenty.”

“Why twenty?”

“Inflation.”

“Inflation?”

“The prices are too high nowadays for you to share in all the glory.”

“Well I found this information.”

“Yeah and I ain’t firing you because you found it.”

“Oh thank you Boss Hogg.”

“Now go home, you worked a long day.” Uh huh, Boss is pretty dang slick ain’t he? Bo and Luke do the work and he reaps the benefits. Just one problem, those boys have minds don’t they now?

7

Daisy couldn’t drive but she would be danged if she were left behind for this little adventure. So, Danny drove her Jeep for her. Ain’t that nice? Danny was always a sweet guy.

Uncle—umm—I mean Jesse always loved adventure as well. He traveled in the mustang General. Jesse said even if those doors were welded he could always push the button to get rid of the hard top.

Who else came? Well this wouldn’t be fun without Dodger or Cooter Davenport. Besides, Bo and Luke like to have spotters when they climb up big mountains. It ain’t a bad idea.

Danny got into his harness. Bo and Luke were already done. Bo and Luke have experience in this sort of thing though. Luke used to go climbing all the time. He loved it more than anything. He would drag Bo with him.

“Come on Danny, shake a leg,” Bo said as he put the roped shovel on his back. His eyebrows went up and his face was full of life.

“Yeah Danny, you’re slowing down the crew,” Luke added, positioning the shovel on his arm.

“The faster you put your gear on…”

“The faster we get to the treasure.” He threw it onto his back. Danny growled.

“You Dukes are all alike,” Danny hissed.

“How do you mean?” Jesse asked.

“Simple Uncle Jesse, y’all are impatient.”

“First of all, we ain’t impatient we are energized.” Bo and Luke stared at each other and smiled. Daisy giggled slightly. “Well we are.”

“Is there a second of all?”

“Yes son there is.”

“What’s that?”

“I ain’t your Uncle Jesse.” Now Dodger and Cooter were laughing. “No seriously. I have Daisy calling me it.”

“Only because I am your niece Uncle Jesse,” Daisy cut in.

“I have Bo and Luke calling me it.”

“We take on Daisy’s answer,” Bo commented.

“Yeah only substitute nephew in where she said niece,” Luke added. Cooter and Dodger laughed.

“Heck, I even have Coy and—and Vance calling me it,” Jesse stated.

“Yeah, well Uncle Jesse, they are your nephews,” Cooter confessed. Now Unc—err Jesse glared at Cooter.

“Now to have you three—Cooter and Dodger AND Danny, is enough to make me go crazy.”

“We ain’t trying to make you crazy,” Dodger tried to explain.

“It is just the truth when we say…” Cooter began to add.

“You’re like an Uncle to all of us,” Danny finished. Jesse rolled his eyes and folded his arms.

“Just because I am nice to y’all doesn’t mean…” Jesse began. They all stared at him. “Ta heck with it, y’all won’t quit will ya?”

“Nope.” Jesse shook his head. Well even if he don’t like it, I sure do.

“Would y’all get up there? Be careful will ya?”

“Yes sir,” Bo, Luke and Jesse said at the same time. They hooked up their first pegs, attaching their ropes to it. They began climbing up like it was nothing. Just as they were working their stuff, Luke’s rope broke.

He began to fall. Luke felt the pressure right in his stomach. He thought he was in big trouble this time. To be perfectly honest with you, I thought he was too. Uncle Jesse and Cooter could save him—or was he falling too fast?

Bo grabbed his arm with one hand, holding onto the rope with the other. Luke breathed a sigh of great relief. He was thrilled that he wasn’t dead on the ground.

“Dang it, cousin! You need to loose a few pounds around the middle,” Bo replied through his teeth.

“That ain’t funny, Bo,” Luke replied.

“Sure it is.”

“You’re immature.”

“No kidding Luke, it’s called I am a high school student.”

“Well I know that.” Luke climbed on his cousin, pushing right on his shoulders.

“You know, this is uncomfortable considering you’re my cousin.”

“Deal with it. I need to get out of this freestyle thing.”

“I thought you laughed in the face of danger.”

“Not all danger.” Luke was shaking like nothing had ever felt.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Luke shakily hooked up on Bo’s line, climbing faster ahead of him. Bo sighed for a minute.

“Yeah—I’ll be fine.”

“Your legs were shaking.”

“Yours would be too.” Luke’s unsteady arm reached out for a rock. He managed to grip it in spite of the trembling. “I mean if you almost died.” Bo’s eyes looked up to his cousin who was traveling somewhat at a snail’s pace.

“I don’t know, I think it would make me climb better.” Bo looked at his watch and then at Luke.

“Well I pray you never have to.” Luke continued to climb, gradually making his way up. Bo growled.

“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi. Ready or not here I come.”

“You’re nuts.”

“Quit fighting,” Danny mumbled.

“We’re not fighting.”

“No we’re simply stating our opinions,” Bo added.

“Yeah with style.”

“In a bickering line of attack.”

“Good one cousin.”

“Thank you cousin.”

“You’re welcome cousin.” Bo and Luke began laughing. Danny rolled his eyes as they continued to go up the large mountain.

“Y’all are nuts,” Danny announced.

“You really think so? What an honor, I would like to thank all the little people for showing me that way to Nutsville,” Bo replied.

“Bo…”

“I would like to thank Uncle Cameron for being there just long enough to drop us into Hazzard. This is where all the bona fide nutty people twisted me into the harebrained lunatic I am today.”

“Bo…”

“Don’t interrupt Danny, it ain’t polite.” Danny shifted his eyes.

“Sorry.”

“That’s better.” Bo cleared his throat as he continued to climb. “I would also like to thank the teachers in our high school for having the notion of making me do their job.”

“You are totally insane.”

“I thought we already established this.” Luke expressed amusement with an undercover giggle. He couldn’t seem to contain it though.

“You and your mouth,” Luke laughed.

“Sure you laugh at him now but wait until he gets on your nerves,” Danny expressed.

“Well when he steps on your last nerve, somehow Bo adds some sort of humor to make you like him again.” Luke grabbed onto a rock and put another peg in. He put the rope in it. “That’s why you can never stay mad at the guy.”

“Yep, I am just loveable,” Bo commented. He climbed faster up the rope. Bo hit Luke in the leg.

“Owe! What was that for?”

“Going on my rope. You’re making me climb slowly and I can’t stand it.”

“It is your fault.”

“Why? You were the one that packed the rope.”

“Well you caught me.”

“I couldn’t let you die now could I?”

“Well then you should be honored that I am on this rope instead of dead on the ground.” Bo rubbed his chin.

“Yeah I should, shouldn’t I?” Bo hit Luke’s leg again. “Still, I want you to hurry yourself up.”

“Well I am still stunned Bo.”

“Well shake it off, cousin.”

“Stop it both of you,” Danny expressed.

“Stay out of it Danny,” Luke growled.

“Yeah Danny,” Bo added.

“Then stop fighting.” Now I wonder, is this goanna keep continuing all day? I guess we’ll have to see huh? Hold on y’all, I know this is a busy time ain’t it.

8

Well I figured that watching those boys dig would be too much even for you. Especially since they had their shirts off. I ain’t goanna watch girls wipe the drool off their faces. It ain’t a pretty sight for a woman.

So, let’s skip ahead y’all. They have the chest and are goanna lower it down right—now. You see that? Two ropes on this sucker. Luke wanted to make sure it didn’t do a double turn like they did.

Dodger and Cooter grabbed the chest from below. Danny and Luke climbed down one line. Bo, being the impatient one, went down the other. Cooter stared at Luke.

“What?” Luke asked.

“How was it like?” Cooter questioned him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Falling like that, how was it? Did you feel a rush?”

“Nah, Luke is a virgin to good adventure,” Bo cut in, before Luke could talk. Luke was about to make a comeback but he saw the sirens going.

“Oh great, how did he find out about this?” Luke asked.

“Who cares, if we want this in a museum, then we better rush.” Bo threw the chest inside the General Lee. Cooter and Dodger got in with him.

“We’ll keep in contact y’all. Split—maybe he’ll follow the wrong car,” Cooter replied.

“Alright,” Danny said as Jesse got into General Two. He jumped into the Jeep and began to go. Well, everyone split off. Boss Hogg figured this would happen once they got to the treasure.

He had planned it pretty well. Following Car one, the General Lee one was Roscoe P. Coltrane. Following Car two, Dolly, was Enos Strait. Following Car number three, General Lee two, was Boss Hogg himself.

Now this is confusing don’t you think? Just be happy you ain’t driving any of the cars y’all. I am sure grateful. Car one had the goods in it. However, the wrong driver was with them. Roscoe almost had an accident when he went to church.

“We have the chest,” Cooter reminded him.

“He knows that,” Dodger replied.

“Well I am just saying that we have got Roscoe on our tail. How the heck are we goanna get out of this?”

“Look, Bo is thinking about it, Cooter, he knows what he is doing.”

“Dodge, you know that if he doesn’t get us out of this, the treasure is Boss Hogg’s fortune and not ours.”

“It ain’t ours,” Bo cut in. He saw a dip and took the jump. “It is a treasure that should be seen by everyone.” General Lee landed. “I ain’t goanna let him get it though. I know what he’ll do with it.”

“So do you have a plan then Bo?”

“Yup.”

“You goanna fill us in on it?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Oh come on Bo, can’t you talk with more than one word.”

“Yes Cooter.” Cooter rolled his eyes. Dodger couldn’t help but laugh.

“You are such a Duke.”

“Yup.” Now Bo had a plan that would work if done right. He drove into the open truck ahead, loosing Roscoe. Now the biggest thing was not to bump into the other following cars. If Bo could manage that then he would be okay.

Roscoe went right passed the large truck, not even asking if those boys had been seen. Bo backed up and went through the field. There was a small body of water that he began driving through.

“You’re goanna need a tune-up after this, come and see us,” Dodger said.

“Sure will,” Bo replied.

“Good stuff.” Bo drove pretty well. He looked down at the rocky area.

“Dodge pick me up some stones will ya?”

“Are you goanna keep driving?”

“Yup.”

“Okay buddy.” Dodger slid himself out of the car. Cooter moved up closer to his brother, holding his legs. As Dodger would grab a rock, he would pass it to Cooter.

They grabbed about five of them. Soon, Dodger was back in the General and Bo was speeding fast once again. Not bad for Hazzard County huh?

He continued to drive, right into town. He parked in front of Hazzard restaurant. Cooter and Dodger had no idea what Bo was planning. Heck I didn’t at first either.

“Bo, this is no time to be thinking about food,” Cooter remarked. Bo began to laugh. Cooter didn’t get it.

“Be right back, okay?” Bo asked. Dodger on the other hand was just getting into his plan.

“Yeah sure,” Dodger replied. Bo got out of the General Lee and ran into the restaurant.

“Where is he going?” Cooter asked.

“To sweet talk a waitress.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Simple, he needs something.”

“Like what? A hot sandwich? Dang, he always thinks of girls and food.”

“And cars…but this time he hasn’t any of those on his mind. This boy has a mission.”

“Like what?”

“Oh you’ll see.”

“I don’t wanna see, I wanna know what is going on.”

“You’ll see Cooter. You need to be patient even though I know that is not in your nature at all.” Cooter growled at his younger brother. He hated when Dodger was right.

Not even five minutes later, Bo was back out of the restaurant. He had a big smile on his face. You know, that boy could charm his way out of prison if there was a lady cop present.

I guess that’s just the way he was. I like him for that you know? Bo is quite the character. Look at what he has in his hands, a chest…a toy chest for the kiddies when they come to the restaurant.

“Dang Bo, that’s smart,” Cooter remarked.

“We’ll drop the regular one off at the museum and fill this one with the rocks you grabbed,” Bo replied.

“I told you bro. Bo has more in his head than hair,” Dodger announced.

“I’ll never doubt you again Bo.”

“Good,” Bo replied.

“Just remember not to screw up,” Dodger added. Cooter laughed. Bo handed Dodger the chest and got into the General Lee.

The drive from here to the museum wasn’t very far but Bo wasn’t willing to just walk the chest over there. I mean this sucker was full of gold and jewels. I wouldn’t risk it either. Besides that, the danged thing would be heavy.

Bo stopped in front of the museum. He and Dodger got out of the car. Cooter moved in the driver’s seat—just in case they had to make a getaway…you know, the fast type. Dodger and Bo had no problems dropping it off.

8

General Lee one decided to play a little shuck and jive with Roscoe, Enos and Boss Hogg. This was goanna get a little tricky y’all. As Cooter drove up to Boss’ car, Bo held up the chest. Boss’ eyes widened. Now my eyes would expand too.

Cooter turned the car completely around. Bo began laughing. “Now that’s showing him Cooter,” Dodger said.

“Well this is just the beginning. You know exactly where Boss is goanna be heading,” Bo added.

“Yes and we’re goanna confuse the heck out of Luke.”

“Which is something I am good at, don’t you think?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You are the champion of it,” Cooter replied.

“He is great at it for sure.”

“Bo you could make a career out of it.”

“I could do that,” Bo answered. Dodger and Cooter began laughing.

“Now this is adventure.” General Lee was heading toward the others. Boss was following General Lee one now.

Now remember, General Lee two was the one Boss was following before. You can imagine what Luke and Jesse were thinking. Heck if I didn’t see Bo grab the other chest, I would be having the same thoughts about the exact same thing.

“Does Bo wanna blow our cover?” Luke asked. Yup, just what I thought he would say.

“I don’t know, but I am goanna make sure he doesn’t yield,” Jesse replied.

“How?”

“A little Duke Power.” Jesse grabbed the CB. He held it up to his white beard. “This is Shepard to lost Sheep two, have you lost your mind, over?”

“Why howdy Shepard this is Lost sheep two speaking of being sane as the day I was born. Don’t worry the package is safe, this one is just a present to Boss,” Bo replied over the CB. Jesse smiled.

“Well then, play catch, Hazzard style.”

“10-4 Uncle Jesse.”

“10-4 and out.” Jesse put the CB down and took a quick look over at Luke. “How close can you get this thing to General one?”

“I could get you in the trunk if you want.”

“Can you drive backwards.” Luke smiled.

“You taught me how.” Jesse smiled and then began laughing. Luke turned his car around and began driving really fast backwards. Bo handed him the chest. Luke put the General Lee two into drive.

In Boss Hogg’s car he shook his head. “I wish these dang Dukes would make up their minds,” He commented. Boss Hogg turned the car around, following General Lee one. He picked up his CB. “Roscoe, where are you, come back?”

“This is Roscoe P. Coltrane coming in live little fat buddy Gig-jit, what do you need? Come back?” Roscoe answered over the CB.

“I am behind the chest, going towards Chickasaw County get your fanny over there and create a road block.”

“But Boss…”

“Don’t you but Boss me, just do it! You too Enos.”

“Yes sir Mister Boss Hogg I’ll get there as fast as I can Boss Hogg. HA! I’m gone,” Enos announced.

“Okay good.”

Back in General Lee two, they saw Dolly coming up fast. Jesse took the chest and passed it to her. Daisy was thrilled to have the box. “Danny, good driving,” Daisy announced.

“Thanks Daisy. You are a pretty hot driver yourself,” Danny replied.

“YAHOOOOO, here we go.” Now Boss was following her. Daisy grabbed her CB. “This is Bo Peep to the Dukes and Davenports of the Hazzardnet, we got the goods and we got a Hogg on our tail.”

“This is two sheep one, you keep on heading, we’re goanna go attack the bears,” Luke replied over the CB. He continued to head towards Chickasaw County. Roscoe and Enos were covering the roadway. They both had their hands out, signaling Luke to stop.

Instead, Luke turned right around and went the other way. Now Roscoe and Enos began following General Lee Two. This is pretty funny y’all.

“Breaker, breaker, Hazzard County police department, ya around?” Boss Hogg said over the CB.

“Yes Boss, I am listening,” Roscoe announced on the CB frequency.

“Me too Boss,” Enos added, while also talking on his CB.

“Y’all are following the wrong goose. Get after Daisy Duke. She is going towards Sweetwater County—which is the opposite way,” Boss Hogg announced. Just as Boss said that, Daisy passed the Chest off to General Lee one who turned towards the Duke farm.

“10-4 Boss, we’ll head to the Duke farm Boss Ha! I’m gone.”

“No, disregard what I said, General Lee has it now.”

“Which one Boss?” Roscoe asked.

“The—orange one…who cares which one. Just get over to the Duke farm.”

“Yes Boss.” Now General one stopped. Everyone got out and went into the house. Boss Hogg followed. Enos and Roscoe stopped next. Roscoe had his gun out.

“Don’t shoot, we’ll give you the chest,” Bo commented, handing him the toy chest.

“Remember boys, I always win,” Boss replied. Dodger and Cooter just managed to keep a straight face long enough for Boss to leave. They all started laughing.

Now let’s see…everyone got an A plus on the book report except for Donny Frank who tried to copy his friend’s answers. Bo had him read a new book, the school code of honor.

Danny promised to be Daisy’s personal driver so she could have some adventure. This made her happy. You can see it in her face.

Boss Hogg—well when he opened that chest, he was crying. Especially when he found out the Dukes had donated it to the museum. Why? Well they did it in his name which meant he wouldn’t have it stolen from the museum.

Well that’s the end to a perfect day—in Hazzard County.

by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County, you love it here don’t you? Ah, you didn’t have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes. I guess there is something about Hazzard that makes you wanna come back. You know, you should find out what it is. Maybe then you would like to stay in one place.

Ah, I am just kidding. I like being here too. Besides that, I know as well as you do that Hazzard has too many parts to move. Our place is made for us. It is nice to visit Hazzard but it takes special people to live here. I mean that in a nice way folks.

Bo and Luke have it down to a science. They know how to live here and help people all at the same time. I like that about them. Those Dukes are pretty dang smart. If Daisy wasn’t in Hazzard…I don’t think the men would wanna be here, do you?

You want me to get on with the adventure? Well I understand that. After all, I am the balladeer and a good storyteller at that. I am great when it comes to stories. Oh? You don’t believe me?

Well I’ll prove it then smarty pants. This title is pretty good…Sherlock Coltrane. I thought of that one. You see folks, I do know what I am doing. I win.

You know, I really like those Sherlock Holmes books. They are very neat. I would never have thought of so many ways to figure something out. Only the great Sherlock could do it—well him or those forensic scientists.

I guess I can’t pick between the two after all, it is Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock is more famous than any of them people. Then again, back when, there were shows about criminal scene investigation.

I don’t know if I would call them better than Sherlock. The scientists nowadays have way more equipment and much more advanced at that.

You see, there he is. Now I know you’re wondering what Sherlock and ol’ Roscoe have in common. Well let’s see. Roscoe and Sherlock both have the same birthday, January 6th…which is pretty odd to me.

Roscoe is a lawman who helps people solve problems—when Boss ain’t using him for one of his many adventures. That’s pretty cool. Roscoe has a sidekick and so does Sherlock.

You know what? To get to the heart of this story though, we’ll have to go to our source, Enos. Sounds weird but this is how it happened folks.

It is the dead of night. I mean the real dead of night. Not too many people are lurking around corners. Look around you…yep, we’re at Enos’ house. Don’t look at me like that, this is somewhat important don’t you know.

Oh come on, I know making a roast doesn’t seem important to you. However, to people like Boss Hogg and Enos it is. I know what you’re thinking, what is a person like Enos doing making a roast at two in the morning?

Well when some people have problems sleeping, they count sheep. Uncle Jesse takes a long walk when he can’t catch a few hours. With Enos, when he can’t sleep, he cooks. His little cat prowled under his feet. Enos picked up the roast and put it in the pot.

He took the strings off when his door swung open. A young woman looked right at him. She was out of breath. Enos’ eyes widened. He knew this girl. So do I. Her name is Krista and she ain’t a resident of Hazzard—well not anymore. She used to live right next door to Enos when he lived with his father, DJ Strait.

Krista was Enos’ childhood friend. She and her sister always were playing with Enos and his brother Dean. Krista’s sister, Brenda, always seemed to be getting in trouble. Enos was the only one they would trust to get her back out.

Krista and Brenda moved to Sweetwater County. They had no telephone or TV. Enos didn’t worry too much about that one. Why? Well he didn’t know it had gotten this bad again.

Krista looked at Enos with compassion. “Enos, I need your help,” Krista said intently. She sighed. Krista always hated asking Enos for help.

“Now what’s going on Miss Krista?” Enos questioned. She shook her head. Almost not willing to tell Enos, Krista backed up for the door. “Krista, come back please.”

“Enos I am sorry.”

“For what?”

“Always pushing you into our problems—it isn’t fair to you.”

“Krista you know…”

“Enos, it is true.” Krista shook her head. “You do so much for everyone in Hazzard County and now you have to help.”

“I like to help you guys because…”

“Why? Because I always push you back into our problems. It ain’t fair at all to you.”

“Pushing? You think you push me into this?”

“I know I do.”

“Ding dang it, you know I would help y’all if you were in trouble. Come on now Krista, you need to talk to me about it.”

“Enos, we don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve the best and don’t ever forget that. Y’hear? I want you to remember that you deserve the best.” Krista smiled. Now ain’t Enos a gentleman? I think he always will be to every girl he meets.

“Oh Enos, she’s at it again.”

“Who Brenda?”

“Yes.”

“What has she done this time?”

“The usual.”

“I see.”

“Brenda hasn’t come home in three days.”

“WHAT?”

“Yeah and I am really worried. Oh Enos, what if she’s…”

“Krista, it is okay.” She began crying.

“No, it has been getting worse and worse with Brenda.” Krista bit on her bottom lip. “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“It’s okay, I’m here now.” Krista shook her head no. “What’s wrong?”

“I wish I didn’t have to go to you every time.”

“I know but sometimes it is good to get help.”

“I have tried everything, Enos. You were my last resort. You know that.”

“I believe you.”

“She has been seeing one of those types of men again. I don’t know where she could be. The police have been looking but…”

“Haven’t found anything?”

“Not a thing Enos…I don’t know what to do.” Enos continued cutting the strings of the roast. “I mean what if another one of those awful men have beaten her?”

“She always does pick the wrong ones. Always the ones that treat her wrong.” Krista grabbed a handkerchief from her purse. “You don’t know how hard it has been this past year.”

“I do.”

“I don’t know what to do Enos.” She dabbed her eyes with it.

“We’ll go right now and look for her okay?” Krista’s head lowered. “Okay?”

“Okay Enos.”

You still have wet napkins in the car?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s not waste any time.”

“Okay Enos.”As Enos ran out, he almost slipped. He left a bloody hand print on the wall. Now friends, if you know anything about Hazzard County, you know this has some significance.

2

Luke, Bo and Daisy were racing each other. Now if you know anything about the Dukes, you know they love racing. I am tellin’ ya, it is in their blood. If Bo and Luke could race all day, they would be thrilled.

Daisy seemed to be doing well since Luke and Bo added the new modifications to it. She loved her Dolly. That car did so many wonders for her. Bo flew in General one right over her. He landed right away.

Luke also flew but this time, Daisy had to move her Dolly. These two were on a roll. They seemed to be going pretty fast. If they beat Daisy, she would have to organize their party for them.

If Daisy won, well she would be using Bo and Luke for a dummy to sew—since they broke her old one practicing dance moves. I thought it was funny and so did Bo. Daisy and Luke weren’t impressed.

Oh well I suppose. Bo wasn’t about to loose the race. However, if he were goanna loose, he would rather loose it to Luke than to Daisy. I don’t know why but Bo was very competitive with Daisy lately.

He never did like when she won. However, Daisy was goanna work at it too. She had won a couple of races against the boys. After all, she had a Duke teach her how to drive.

Uncle Jesse was a good teacher that’s for sure. He could teach a half brained mule how to drive well. Now that’s just how patient Jesse truly way. How he could be that patient I don’t know. Oh well I suppose.

Anyway, after Bo and Luke went over her in the General Lees, Daisy knew she needed a new battle plan. Daisy smiled as she rubbed her hands together.
“If I can’t win by going on the roads, there is always cross countryside boys,” Daisy said to herself. She chuckled. Her eyebrows went up as she turned off the road.

In General one, Bo crocked an eyebrow. He picked up the CB. “Breaker, breaker, Lost Sheep two to Bo Peep…where the heck are you going sugar, come back?” Bo questioned.

“Quite simple Lost Sheep two, I am going to the moon,” Daisy replied. Bo didn’t get it at all but didn’t want to loose the race. He put his CB down and began to drive.

“This is Lost Sheep one calling Lost sheep two, do ya need me to translate?” Luke questioned over the CB.

“Negative,” Bo replied. He shifted his eyes. Luke spun in front of him. Daisy came out of nowhere, trying still to race the two boys down. Luke couldn’t seem to pull in front of her.

“Well here she is. If she wins we’re dress dummies.”

“I hear ya cousin.”

“So what are we goanna do?”

“Ain’t it obvious Bo?”

“Ah—no.”

“Pray.”

“Well that’s a big 10-4, Luke Duke. I am goanna pray my heart out.”

“Oh good, I’ll do it with you.”

“Good thing you’re around.”

“Well back to racing Luke.” Bo put the CB down. “Oh no you don’t, Daisy.” Now Bo went off on his own. He tightened his grip on the wheel. As Bo went cross country, Luke followed him. Now these country drivers ain’t too bad. Well that is until there is an obstacle.

You see that road up ahead? Well it is filled to the gill with construction. It however is the fastest way into town. If Bo and Luke don’t take it, Daisy will get to the Davenports’ Garage first and this race would be over.

Kind of a win loose situation, ain’t it. Well, they managed to get onto that road, breaking through all the “do not enter” signs while they were at it. Now they were pretty good but this next mound of dirt was a big one.

Oh Bo and Luke didn’t care none. They headed straight for it. Ready to hit at first notice. Bo and Luke flew seconds a part from each other. The new engine Luke and Bo had been working on in General Lee one allowed him to fly further than before.

Now Bo was thrilled with the results. They managed to make it to Cooter’s and Dodger’s garage. Both looked at the mechanics. “Hey, Daisy hasn’t rolled through here has she?” Luke questioned.

“Look up boys,” Daisy commented. They both looked up. Daisy jumped down. She smiled and pushed her hair back. “So, who wants to start? I mean y’all both are great guys but I am making a dress for Miss Ruth Coltrane. So—I guess it will be Luke.” Bo began laughing.

“It ain’t funny.”

“Oh it sure is. You’re so short, the women folk don’t mind you being their dummy,” Bo replied.

“Cute Bo, real cute.”

“Sorry to but in but what are y’all talking about?” Dodger asked.

“Yeah, I more lost than he is,” Cooter added.

“Simple, these two bet and lost.” Cooter and Dodger looked at Daisy and then at the Duke boys.

“Y’all lost?”

“Wiped up that’s the real word.”

“What’s the verdict for my two friends?”

“Simple Cooter they bet with me that they would be me.” Bo and Luke hit their faces. “Now they’ll be my dummies for when I make my dresses.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Dodger mumbled. He was trying to show restraint. Cooter on the other hand—well, he was all out laughing.

“Daisy, you better make sure it is one frilly dress for Bo,” Cooter exclaimed. Now Dodger was laughing.

“And pink.”

“It ain’t funny, y’all,” Bo grumbled.

“You wanna make a bet?”

“Dodger!”

“What?”

“Well come on, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am, I won’t let her put high heels on ya.” Now Cooter was really going. Luke seemed to have a blank look on his face. He looked over towards the police station.

“Oh great,” Bo said as he caught sight of his cousin.

“What’s wrong?” Daisy asked.

“He has that look in his eye. The one look where he snaps his fingers and away I go in the opposite direction.”

“Oh that look! You mean the one where you end up getting into trouble?”

“That’s the one.”

“Look at that, I was expecting Enos and Roscoe to be out on patrol. You know, trying to stop us from racing,” Luke mumbled.

“Well Luke obviously not.”

“Usually, they’re both out there by now.”

“Yeah I know. I kind of well—live in Hazzard too.”

“I know that but do you think it is weird?”

“Of course I do but why do we have to go looking for trouble.”

“We’re Dukes.” Luke snapped his fingers. “Come on Bo.”

“Here we go again.” Daisy began to laugh. She shook her head. Bo was right, Luke was always doing that.

“Well come on!”

“Bye Bo,” Daisy laughed. They ran across the street. Now ain’t that just like the Dukes? When they ain’t being chased, they wonder why.

3

Nope, Bo and Luke couldn’t leave anything well enough alone. Well I guess when you have been chased for so long you just expect it. When you’re in Hazzard, you had better believe you check out things like that.

Trouble in Hazzard County is unlike trouble in most places. You know, sometimes it is big and sometimes it is little…well we don’t often see the little bits of trouble. Usually, in Hazzard that is, you don’t see trouble until it hits you—like a newspaper on a hound’s nose.

I have seen it be perfectly quiet for a while and then BAM! Trouble comes and poor Bo and Luke are off trying to save the day. Which seems pretty fun to me but Bo would disagree. You know why? Well simple, he wishes this action was steady.

Anyway, as Bo and Luke entered Roscoe’s office, he had his back towards them. Well that wasn’t unusual but it allowed the Duke Boys to sneak up on him as he turned around.

Bo and Luke seemed to get more information when they were behind someone. It ain’t a bad idea, going behind someone. The Duke Cousins sure do know their business. Bo and Luke couldn’t believe the sight they had before them. Roscoe looked like he hadn’t even left his desk yet.

“Look Denver-Jones, he’s your son now—so where did you put him?” Roscoe began. Suddenly he lifted the phone. “Hello?” Roscoe shook his head.

“What’s the matter R…” Bo began. Roscoe leapt up higher than jellybeans, you know, the jumping kind.

”Now Bo, Luke y’all need to get out of here this instant.” Roscoe shook his head. “You boys scared me.”

“Yes we know we scared you and we apologize. Did you say Enos was missing?” Luke questioned.

“For your information, Enos ain’t missing.” Roscoe’s eyes shifted. “He just didn’t show up for work and—he’s just not answering the phone.”

“WHAT? That ain’t like Enos.” Luke shook his head. Now when you have known someone for a long time, you start to learn how they are like. For all those who know the Straits, you know that they are never late.

“You think?” Roscoe said sarcastically. Luke shook his head. He couldn’t believe Roscoe pulled one on him.

“He loves his job and he always calls in.” Luke sighed. His head lowered slightly. “Roscoe, we’ll help you look for him. Even if it takes us all day.”

“Luke, this ain’t your business now.”

“This is my business, Enos is my best friend and it ain’t easy to replace a best friend.”

“Hush now! You shouldn’t be looking for him then. You’ll use the wrong judgment.” Luke rolled his eyes. He was about to use his anger on Roscoe but Bo held him back. Quite the change from the usual huh?

“Roscoe, did you try going to his house?” Bo questioned. Roscoe played with his chin.

“Now I can’t go chasing after Enos right now.” Roscoe began going through papers. “Boss Hogg told me to stay right here.” Luke rolled his eyes.

“Look Roscoe…” Luke began.

“Don’t you threaten me or I’ll put you in the pokey?” Bo crocked an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were goanna.”

“I wasn’t going you…

“Ah, there you go. Now get out of here before I throw you in the pen. Do ya understand?”

“I ain’t dumb Roscoe.”

“Now git, both of ya!” Bo rolled his eyes as he walked out there. When the younger of the two cousins noticed that his older one wasn’t behind him, Bo turned around and grabbed Luke. He almost had to drag him out of there.

“Can you believe him?”

“We can’t take this laying down,” Bo replied.

“Yeah but if we head out that way, Roscoe will find some reason to arrest us and you know it.”

“Yeah but if we don’t get out there…”

“You’re right, Enos is much more important than our freedom.” Luke sighed. “You go check out Enos’ house. Wear gloves and don’t get caught.”

“What are you goanna do?”

“Check out all of Enos’ favorite spots—fishing spots and such.”

“Alright, good luck cousin.”

“Yeah I’ll need it.” Luke cleared his throat. “You’re goanna need it too.”

“Need what?”

“Luck.”

“I’m full of that.”

“Well good, pull some out. Going around Enos’ place could be dangerous.”

“Yeah I know but I am the master at breaking and entering.”

“Don’t you break anything!”

“I won’t.”

“Yeah sure, look just enter don’t break.”

“Yes sir master cousin sir.” Luke rolled his eyes. “What?”

“Don’t call me master cousin.”

“Why? It suits you.”

“What do you mean by that Beauregard?”

“Nothing Lucas, nothing at all—why do you ask?” Luke growled at his younger cousin.

“Can we just get going?” Bo rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger. “Well yes or no?” Bo looked at his cousin with the cheesiest smile you have ever seen.

“I ain’t stopping you, why are you still here, Luke? I wanted to leave but if you didn’t notice, your General’s blocking my General.” Luke shook his head.

“You’re impossible.”

“Actually for once Luke, you are the one who is impossible.” Now what do you think they’re goanna suspect when they see the beefy hand print on the wall? Well wait and see y’all.

4

Now Daisy went with Luke because she was worried about good ol’ Enos too. Besides that, if Enos were having a bad day, he would talk to Daisy in a second. She does have the right touch you know. Dodger and Cooter decided to help too which was nice of them to offer up their services.

Now they checked fishing spots. Cooter and Dodger checked out of town. You know around places Bo and Luke weren’t allowed to go to due to their probation. It wasn’t a bad idea.

Meanwhile at Enos’ house, Bo was making some pretty good discoveries himself. Remember now, the Dukes don’t go right in and break in someone’s house. They have probation on their butts.

So even though Bo had the skills, he wasn’t about to kick the door open or anything like that. Probation don’t do these boys justice does it now? Anyway, we should get back to the facts before we get too off topic.

So first off, Enos’ car was still there. Now you know as well as I do that Enos wouldn’t walk unless his car was broken down. Something which Bo was well aware of—he knew he had to check under the hood.

Bo opened up the hood. Everything seemed to be in working order. None of the tubes were leaking. The distributor cap looked all connected and working. He hot wired the car—how he knows that, I really don’t know.

Well the car was working. So why then? Why was Enos missing. Now Bo had enough of car maintenance 101. He moved onto the next bit of evidence, tire tracks.

Now to most people, a tire is just a tire. Not for Bo. He has helped Cooter put tires on each and every car in Hazzard at one point or another. So you can then imagine how easy it was for him to tell whose tires are whose.

Well first of all, Enos’ car had just been fixed. How did Bo know? Quite simple, Cooter’s truck and Enos’ car were driving side by side. Bo knew for sure Enos’ car was in working order now.

The next set was General Lee one. General Lee one and two have different tires. Bo and Luke came over for dinner last night so that was obvious. However, there was one set of tires that was odd. They were older tires—handmade tires. Something Bo hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Balloon tires?” Bo questioned. He looked at the imprint of them. He hardly could believe this beautiful site. He could even seen an engraving on the tire. It had the year and make of the car on it. “A show car?” What Bo was looking at was the tires of a 1948 F-1 Ford.

To understand about this car, you would have to go back to Krista’s family. Her Grandfather was filthy rich. When he died, he left her the car—and all the custom made tires. Well that and half his estate. However, Brenda spent most of that money.

“Ah, you have revealed where you have gone, Enos Strait, you sly dog you,” Bo announced.

“Freeze!” Roscoe exclaimed. Bo put his hands up. “Yep that’s right Bo! I caught you red handed. Bo rolled his eyes.

“You have got to be kidding me Roscoe! I am here to find out what happened to…” Bo’s eyebrow went up. “What are you wearing?”

“Well…” Remember the Sherlock stories? Well he has the coat, hat and pipe. He also has Flash.

“Roscoe…” Bo began laughing. He shook his head, keeping his hands up. “You look ridiculous.”

“Hush!” Roscoe put the gun closer to Bo. “Just hush! You know what? You’re under arrest!”

“For what?”

“Kidnapping Enos.” Roscoe blew into the pipe and bubbles came out. Bo began laughing but then the charge sunk in. He shook his head. Bo’s face became very serious.

“I didn’t kidnap him! I was just about to check the inside to see if I could get any clues as to where he was. I got some information…”

“I don’t wanna hear your information. I am the officer of the law Khee.”

“I could know something Roscoe.”

“Yeah sure.” Roscoe slapped the hand cuffs on himself and Bo. The young Duke boy stared at the cold metal bracelet.

“Roscoe!”

“Well you’re guilty until proven innocent.” Now if wearing something freezing on your arm wasn’t bad enough—imagine being attached to Roscoe.

“It’s innocent until proven guilty.”

“Who’s the sheriff?” Bo rolled his eyes. “Come on? Who is wearing the badge?”

“You are.” Bo growled under his breath.

“Thank you.”

“Why take me to jail if Enos could be in there?”

“Good point.”

“I thought it was.”

“We’ll check it out together so you don’t pull anything.”

“Roscoe…”

“Hush!”

“Yes sir.” As they walked in the house, Roscoe saw the hand print. His eyes widened.

“Well Bo Duke, I caught your hand in the cookie jar. You killed Enos.”

“I did not.”

“Well mister smarty pants, looks like you knew there was something inside.” Bo swallowed hard.

“You have got to believe me—I didn’t know anything about this.”

“You’re under arrest. Time to go to jail, murder.”

“Enos ain’t dead that’s…”

“No more of your excuses.”

“Roscoe if you examine the hand print you’ll see…”

“Just hush now! You’re in enough trouble as it is.” Bo shook his head. “You have the right to…”

“I know my rights.”

“Good, saves time, Khee.” Bo shook his head and sighed. He knew how much trouble he was.

“If Enos is dead where’s the body?”

“Where ever you hid it murder!” Roscoe shook his head. “Shame, shame, everyone knows your name.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s just what a murder would say.” Bo shook his head.

“Why can’t you believe me for once?”

“You were in the middle of a crime scene covering up tracks.” Bo growled like a bear.

“No, I was trying to figure out where Enos is if you would just let me speak…”

“Hush!”

“But…”

“I said hush!” Uh oh, Bo is being blamed for murdering Enos. Now friends and neighbors, this is pretty bad. He could be sent to prison for life.

Oh but commit to memory folks, no one is dead. Enos is up in Sweetwater County helping Krista and Brenda. So how in the world could Bo have killed him?

However, Roscoe doesn’t know that and Bo can’t tell him because he won’t let him. What is Bo goanna do? Well just wait and you might find out folks.

5

Luke took a most imperative jump in General Lee two. He began to speed up. He drove like an important person was chasing behind him. Well maybe not important but someone like—uh, Roscoe. Well okay, he is important.

Anyway, he drove like that in case they were. I guess it is brilliant accepted wisdom passed down the Duke line. In Hazzard, Dukes have been chased repeatedly. You want proof? Well here we go then.

Let’s see, they have had Roscoe—the first as Sheriff of Hazzard County chasing their Grandparents. Cletus and Enos were always around the corner too. Sometimes it came to their advantage other times—not so much. Bo and Luke the first really knew how to run.

When Jesse, Jo and Jose were in Hazzard, They still had Cletus being Sheriff. However, they also had a few new characters. Perry Coltrane, Roscoe’s son, he knew how to take over the family business. DJ Strait, Enos’ son who was a good police officer at heart but his driving needed work.

Now we come to this time period. Bo, Luke and Daisy are being chased by their kids. Roscoe is a police officer who takes after his family line in most ways. Enos, DJ Strait’s son, was quite the guy too. Now I haven’t met a new Hogg to be a deputy but I shouldn’t count my chickens should I now?

Well there you have it, a long history of deputies and sheriffs chasing the Duke Boys. I would give you even more detail about the long lines of police officers of Hazzard but dang, ain’t this enough?

Well this showed my point. This is why Luke and his cousin Bo drive like that—or why all the Dukes drive like that for that matter. Luke and Bo would drive to church that way.

No really, Uncle Jesse wouldn’t even tell them to slow down. Now that’s a Duke for you. Jesse may be getting older—ehem, I mean aging nicely. Anyway, he likes going fast, that’s all that matters.

Anyway, back to the story. Where were we? Oh yeah, Luke was now worried about more than one thing. Well I would be too. Think about it—wait, you don’t know what I’m talking about yet.

Okay well Luke hadn’t heard from Bo in an hour. With Enos missing and now Bo—well let’s just say things weren’t going too well for the Duke family. Luke was thinking of all the reasons why Bo wouldn’t be calling. Some of his worst fears were revealed in his head.

Luke tried to dismiss them just as fast as they came but that is easier said than done. Luke had been watching over Bo for a long time and he didn’t wanna ruin it now. Jesse would kill him if he didn’t produce his cousin. Luke couldn’t think of that now, he needed to watch the road.

The General was doing pretty well on the turns. Well then again it was General Lee two. He had been fighting fit since the day he was made. Come on, Jesse worked on this car personally—with the help of his cousin slash brother in law Jose.

Daisy sat in the passenger’s seat. She was too quiet for words. Not a peep rose from her mouth. Daisy played with her hair. She seemed to systematize each strand. It seemed really weird even for her. Then again, she was worried.

“Hey, you okay?” Luke asked her. Daisy shook her head. She couldn’t really respond. Daisy liked Enos a lot and to think of him missing or worse wasn’t a picnic.

“Yeah,” She lied.

“You don’t think I know you better than that?” Daisy sighed as she tried to put on a fake smile. Luke could see right through her. “Come on Daisy, you can try all you want, it won’t work.”

“I was just thinking about when I first came to Hazzard County—I ran away from where y’all were.” Luke looked confused.

“Where were we again?” Daisy smiled.

“Y’all were helping Mr. Rhuebottom with boxes. Bo heard me laugh I think and I got worried. I began to run away and—well, I bumped into Enos.”

“Ah so that’s when he helped you.” Daisy grinned and nodded softly.

“You can sort of say he was my first really good friend in Hazzard County.”

“I know Daisy—he was mine too.” Daisy began crying. She shook her head.

“How can you speak of him in past tense?” Luke sighed.

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

“You’re right, it was.” Luke shook his head. “I don’t know where my mind was and you know, I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t. Luke, you’re doing your best and now with Bo not calling…” As Daisy was about to finish her sentence, she saw General Lee one just sitting there. Luke put on the breaks almost immediately.

“Huston, we have a problem.” Yup, now if they only knew where Bo was they would be planning even more than they were. Well ain’t you glad we’re not the ones that come up with the plans?

6

In the police station, Bo was in the main jail cell upstairs. He was told not to talk but he was witnessing quite the sight. Yup, just as Roscoe was dressed up so was Flash. Bo couldn’t help but laugh.

“You hush,” Roscoe grumbled.

“Roscoe, Flash looks ridiculous,” Bo answered.

“I don’t care if he looks like a pony to help me find Enos’ body.”

“Like I dun told ya, I know where he…”

“Hush—you telling me my bosom buddy is still alive hurts when you killed him.”

“I didn’t…”

“I said hush!” Now Roscoe’s attention was drawn back on Flash. “Who’s Daddy’s baby? I love you my Flash Khee.” Boss Hogg came out and Flash began barking.

“What is that dang fool dog doing here?” Boss asked.

“She’s goanna help me find Enos.” Boss bit off the top of a cigar. He stuck it in his mouth and lit it.

“Oh really?”

“Yes sir, he’ll find Enos in no time.” Boss sat on the edge of the desk, far enough away from Flash as to stop her from barking.

“Well now, this I have to see.” Boss stuck the cigar back in his mouth and blew it out coolly.

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to smoke in public places?” Bo questioned.

“Quiet, this is my building, I can do what I want.” Bo rolled his eyes. Boss didn’t worry about it. He looked back at Roscoe and his hound. Boss rubbed his hands together. “Okay, if your dog can actually find Enos, I’ll give you a pay raise.”

“Oh Goody, goody gumdrops,” Roscoe commented.

“Never mind the dang gumdrops. Just show me how this mutt—I mean hound is goanna find Enos.”

“I saw it on a movie once Khee.” Roscoe grabbed Enos’ shirt and put it in front of Flash’s nose. “Come on girl pick up the scent.”

“That hound couldn’t pick up a scent if she was in a garbage dump.”

“Now Boss, you’ll hurt her feelings now apologize or she can’t do it.” Now JD Hogg doesn’t like to apologize to the animals.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Do it.”

“I’m sorry Flash.”

“Okay Flash, find Daddy’s friend.” Flash yawned her eyes blinked and she laid down. Boss Hogg laughed and shook his head.

“Well looks like I won’t be paying you more.” He went back into his office.

“She’s a smart dog—you still get a doggy num-num, Khee.” Roscoe pulled a dog treat out of the box and fed it to Flash. Bo looked at Roscoe.

“Don’t I get one phone call?” Bo asked.

“Okay but I’ll have to attach these new fangled handcuffs. They attach to your hands and your feet Khee.”

“I ain’t a murder Roscoe.”

“In the eyes of the law you are until proven innocent.”

“You mean until proven guilty you’ll treat me like I am guilty.”

“Right.”

“Roscoe, you really think I am capable of killing Enos, a good friend of the family?” Roscoe thought about it for a minute. “Roscoe, come on.”

“You never know. I had a dog once when I was a boy and he had rabies but I didn’t think he did.”

“Roscoe, I ain’t been bitten by a raccoon or anything.”

“How do I know that?”

“Roscoe you are impossible.”

“That’s what I get paid for.”

“I am still the same Duke Boy.”

“Y’all have been in a lot of trouble.” Bo sighed. He wasn’t winning this argument at all. Bo crossed his arms. He knew the only way he would make this phone call was through Roscoe’s terms. Well I am glad I ain’t a Duke right now, ain’t you?

7

“Roscoe you pee brained Lilly—I can’t think of enough names to call you,” Jesse Duke exclaimed as he walked in. The whole Duke gang—along with the Davenports were behind him.

“Now Jesse, he killed Enos,” Roscoe replied.

“Killed Enos?”

“Well he is my first choice for killing him.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, see was around the crime scene and…”

“Roscoe you need to get your head examined,” Cooter cut in.

“No kidding, how could you possibly think that Bo would have killed Enos?” Daisy questioned.

“Yeah, I mean Enos and Bo have been friends—well longer than I have been in Hazzard County.”

“Yeah, what my brother said,” Dodger added.

“You know what? I can’t believe you would blame my cousin of such things,” Luke growled.

“Well it happened because he was there…” Roscoe began.

“Yeah, looking for clues to find Enos.”

“Well y’all…” Bo began.

“Quiet for a minute, Bo, I’m talking.” Now Bo was the only one who knew where ol’ Enos was and he was the one that kept being pushed down. Pretty sad ain’t it.

“Well it ain’t my fault that your cousin murdered Enos Strait,” Roscoe commented.

“He would never do that you dogfish!” Jesse exclaimed. Boss Hogg got out of his office.

“Now what’s all the who ha about?” Boss asked.

“Your boneheaded sheriff JD, that’s who.”

“Now Jesse, that’s cold.”

“What’s cold is him blaming Bo for Enos’ disappearance and then saying that he is dead.”

“Well he did find a handprint on the wall that was bloody. It is Enos’. I know because Roscoe brought a picture back.”

“What is a picture goanna prove JD? You know that’s inconclusive.”

“The same print is on my wall when Enos ate chocolate and put his hand against the wall.”

“How do you know if it ain’t chocolate?”

“Well…” Jesse leaned in.

“Well…?”

“Well…” Jesse leaned in closer. The door opened as everyone all out began to argue.

“Hi y’all,” Enos said. He sat down at the desk and yawned. Everyone continued to fight for a moment. They then realized Enos said that. Now the whole group was surrounding Enos.

“Where have you been Enos?” Roscoe asked. Before Enos could speak, Bo cleared his throat.

“Sweetwater,” Bo announced.

“How did you know…”

“Well Roscoe was reading Sherlock Holmes books. That’s why he didn’t go out to the crime site right away. He thought the books would help him.”

“Elementary my dear Bo—I mean Khee, he’s right.” Everyone began laughing. They looked at Bo once again.

“After I went to the farm, I discovered the tire tracks of the car Krista drives through here. I figured Brenda was in trouble again and so Enos headed to Sweetwater to help knowing where Brenda hid.”

“One thing bothers me Bo,” Luke cut in.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you say this earlier?” Bo rolled his eyes. He shook his head.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, you would have gotten out of this a lot sooner.”

“I tried to tell Roscoe hundreds of times but he wouldn’t listen.”

“How about us?”

“Well I tried. Then y’all argued something terrible and then Enos showed up.”

“Howdy,” Enos commented.

“Enos, let him out,” Jesse growled.

“It would be my pleasure.” Enos grabbed the keys off the desk. Roscoe took them out of his hands.

“I’m the Sheriff here, dipstick…Khee I like that, Dipstick.” Well Bo was released from prison without fault. All is well that ends well huh? Well this was all elementary for Hazzard County that is.

by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County where all dreams are possible. I know that many things happen here. I have seen enemies become friends. I have seen enemies taken down by Dukes. You wouldn’t believe the stuff that goes on here sometimes.

Well forget about all that happens in Hazzard for now. I wanna start things off…a little different. We’re goanna play a game. Now don’t think I’m weird. I just thought it would be fun to do something fun. You can’t blame me for that one.

You know the game where’s Waldo? Well, this one is called, where’s Bo? Now can y’all find Bo in this classroom? Now I know it is tough but let me give you a clue. After all, it is only fair. Do y’all see that boy sleeping on the desk? Yeah behind Danny—yup, that’s Bo. Sorry y’all, I don’t have any prizes for ya.

Now, if you know anything about teachers you know they don’t respect people sleeping in class. This teacher ain’t any different. As she came around the corner, she noticed ol’ Bo catching the forty winks carnival. You can just imagine what she thought.

Mrs. Fracas started by clearing her throat. That didn’t work. Danny turned around and looked at his friend. He shook his head knowing this meant trouble for Bo. He couldn’t exactly tell Bo the gig was up. After all, Mrs. Fracas was standing right over him.

Danny turned around just as Mrs. Fracas was about to tap him. Now Mrs. Fracas knew nothing about waking Bo up. She tapped him even harder and Bo jumped right up. Friends, his eyes are pretty wide ain’t they?

“No, Roscoe, I wanna drive!” Bo exclaimed as he popped up. The class began laughing.

“Nice of you to wake up,” Mrs. Fracas mumbled. Now most people would be embarrassed about something like this. Bo never ever worried about stuff like that. He waved like nothing happened.

“Well this Bo moment has been brought to you by the makers of Ford…Ford, a car that is not only awesome but it is something you can afford…get it?” Everyone began laughing again.

“Mr. Duke, I don’t appreciate this outburst.”

“And I don’t appreciate being called Mr. Duke…that is my Uncle’s name.” She shook her head.

“I want to see you after class.” The bell rang and everyone started laughing again.

“Well you’re in luck, it is the end of class.” Bo straightened up. “What can I do for you Mrs. Fracas?” She shook her head as the rest of the class left.

“Bo, sleeping in class is intolerable. I don’t care what kind of marks you get. It leaves a bad example.”

“I agree it probably looks bad.”

“Then why do you do it? Are you purposely trying to make me look bad?”

“Now Mrs. Mrs. Fracas, why would I do a thing like that?” She gave him the look…you know the ‘I want you to be honest.’ look. Bo hated that look.

“Bo, I have tried everything. Detention is your favorite place to be.”

“Catch up on my eyelid inspection.”

“I know farming is hard work but so is teaching.”

“Teaching hard work? Come on, don’t give me that.” Mrs. Fracas shook her head. “What other profession allows you to have summer and winter holidays?”

“Bo!”

“Well sorry, that’s just what I think. Teachers don’t breathe in knowledge, they take long breaks.”

“Long deserved breaks.”

“You think so anyway.”

“You think you can do better, fine, you be the teacher!”

“Okay.”

“That didn’t work the way I wanted it to.”

“I know, you didn’t think that I would want to teach but I do.” Bo got up and put his books inside his back pack. “Teaching for you is a pay cheque whereas teaching for me is something fun.”

“I don’t do it for the money.”

“Sure, you do it for the perks then? I don’t think so. We’re not as rewarding as people make us out to be.”

“You would be surprised Bo.”

“We’re teenagers trying to live out our existence and figure out where we are going in the world.”

“Alright, you are going to find out how wonderful you are.”

“Sure I will.”

“Fine, you teach and I’ll mark.”

“Deal.” Bo shook her hand.

“Now I got to go, I’m late for lunch.”

“Don’t you need an outline to teach the class?”

“It’s history, who needs an outline?” Bo walked out of the class. Danny was standing right outside. He looked at his friend like he was insane.

“What are you doing?” Danny questioned.

“Mrs. Fracas asked if I wanted to teach. I said yes.”

“Bo, rule number one is to not anger the teachers. They hold your future in their hands.”

“Danny, you worry too much.” Bo pulled the hair out of his eyes. Someone threw a football to him from down the hallway. Bo caught it and threw it back. “Look, if she wants me to spice things up then I am her man.”

“You better take this seriously.”

“The word serious ain’t in my vocabulary.” Bo jumped down three stairs. “Let’s go to lunch.” Now friends, he is a character ain’t he?

“Bo, you know as well as I do the teacher ain’t goanna settle for a half wit job.”

“Yeah I know that Danny, I really do. I know how to teach. Taught a young buck how to not throw Luke in about twenty minutes—this ain’t any different.”

“Are you kidding? You’re teaching people like you.” Bo began to laugh. “Now how is that easy?”

“Well since I know how I act, people ain’t goanna pull things on people like me. If I am me only me can stop me from acting like me.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Sure it does.”

“You are way over your head.”

“Nah, I can do this…and I can do it in a way that people won’t be lulled to sleep. I have seen you almost drop in Mrs. Fracas’ class.”

“So what?”

“So, wouldn’t it be nice to stay awake in a class and not have to cram like there’s no tomorrow?”

“Yeah but…”

“Then it is settled. Everything will be great, you’ll see.”

“Sure Bo…sure—you are doomed. Admit it.”

“I am not doomed. I am a genius.”

“Uh huh.”

“No, I can help people out and allow teachers everywhere to marvel in my greatness.”

“Uh huh, you just want to be the center of attention.”

“You know it.” Now I can’t wait to watch him teach, can you? Should be somewhat interesting, don’t you think? I do and I can’t wait to see this. Bo and the apple…Bo working with people to start a better tomorrow; keep watching.

2

Bo was just working on his lessons at home…now how did he get more than one? Simple, the History teacher talked to the English teacher. Now he was teaching two classes. Now Bo didn’t mind, he wanted to make the day better for students all over the world that fell asleep in class.

Anyhow, Bo was at one side of the table with all of his papers. Luke was trying to cook for a date he had tonight. Uncle Jesse was reading the paper. Daisy walked in and pulled out a dress.

“Y’all, I want your honest opinion,” Daisy commented. All four guys looked up from what they were doing. The dress was red with sequence. It had two straps that covered the chest but not enough for Jesse’s taste.

“Well…” Jesse began.

“I knew you liked it.”

“Bo, you took fashion and design didn’t you?”

“Yes sir I did,” Bo replied.

“How long would it take you to modify that dress to make it…more appropriate for Daisy?” Daisy’s mouth opened wide in shock.

“Uncle Jesse, it was on sale!” Daisy exclaimed.

“You don’t need to be showing off that much of your top half.” He looked back at Bo. “So how long?”

“Depends on what she’s looking for,” Bo replied.

“Something more stylish—something Daisy,” Luke added in.

“Well I will work on it.” Daisy had a sulky look to her. She crossed her arms. “Oh Daisy, come on, you know it wasn’t for you. Red ain’t your color.”

“The only reason you know how to modify anything is because I told you lots of girls are in that class,” Daisy replied. She stormed out of the room, walked up the stairs and slammed the door.

“She was supposed to go to town. I picked up something fer my Dad’s birthday. I needed some more stamps,” Jesse mumbled.

“Well why don’t you go to town?” Luke asked.

“Simple…I have things to do.”

“We’ll go for ya.”

“Finished the sketch of Daisy’s dress,” Bo cut in.

“Already?”

“Yeah…I did it with my red pencil crayon…doesn’t look too bad.”

“I can’t believe you finished it already.”

“Yeah, I messed it up a little but it looks good.”

“How messed up?”

“Over drew the arm.”

“Can I see?”

“Sure Luke.” Bo held up the picture:
“Bo, sorry to say but I don’t think Daisy will like that one,” Jesse announced.

“Yeah Bo…you should try again on the way up. I’ll drive,” Luke answered.

“Alright,” Bo said. He grabbed a pad of paper. He began doing more sketches as Luke started the engine. “Don’t drive too fast y’hear?”

“Don’t worry Bo, I’ll drive slow…unless Roscoe and Enos come.”

“Well if that happens give me some sort of a warning.”

“Alright.” Bo drew his heart out. Finally as they stopped at the post office, Bo held up yet another picture:
“How about this one?” Bo asked.

“Well…you want my honest opinion?” Luke questioned.

“Yes, of course I do.”

“That looks like something you would see in Star Wars.” Bo rolled his eyes and Luke laughed.

“I did my best here.”

“Heck Bo, I know you did but you have got to understand, drawing the perfect dress for Daisy will take a bit more time.”

“You have something else on your mind…what is it?”

“Uh…”

“Uh what?”

“Well, I think that you’re getting more detailed.”

“Well would you wanna draw just a neck.”

“I guess not.”

“Back to the dress, I think something else is wrong with it.”

“Like what?”

“Personally, I think red ain’t her color. I don’t know, Daisy doesn’t seem like a red kind of gal.”

“You’re just saying that because it is a hot color.” Bo glared at his cousin. “What? I am only speaking the truth. You don’t like when she wears those short shorts.”

“Well she shouldn’t be.”

“Fine, I have no time to argue with you.”

“So what other color do you think? I really don’t like the red.”

“What would you suggest?”

“Grey…a habit.”

“Bo, she ain’t goanna be a nun.”

“Oh Daisy would make a great nun.”

“Yeah if you forced her right into it.”

“I could do that.” Luke shook his head.

“You know what? She’ll never be a nun so try something in blue or green.”

“Okay.” Bo took out two fresh pencil crayons. Luke shook his head as he got out of the General. He walked up to the steps of the post office and looked at the door.

The sign said, “Gone for lunch.” Luke shook his head. He looked at his watch. Miss Tizdale normally has the same schedule. She would go for an hour and a half for lunch coming back at one. It was the only break she took.

Luke shrugged, knowing that she would be back really soon. Slowly he walked back down the stairs. He got back into the General Lee. “We miscalculated how much time it would take to get here,” Luke said as he got comfortable.

“I didn’t, you did. You didn’t see me get out of the car did you?” Bo questioned.

“I thought you were just drawing.” Bo laughed.

“Well next time ask.” He finished the last strokes with the blue pencil. “There we are. I think this one is the best one.”

“Which one.”

“The blue one but I’ll let you decide.” Bo held up each one.
“That one looks a little too childish for her. Besides, I don’t think green is her color either,” Luke commented.

“Okay, that’s what I thought,” Bo replied. He held up the next one.
“Woe, hold the phone…both of those girls…did you date them last week?” Luke questioned.

“Luke, concentrate on the important parts of life if you please. Which one do you like better?” Bo asked.

“Well to be honest, take the bottom of the green one and the top of the blue one and you have a dress for Daisy.”

“You know what? That’s not a bad idea…thanks Luke. Should I make it red still?”

“You said it yourself, that ain’t Daisy’s color.”

“Yeah I guess.” Bo sighed. “It does look really good on her.”

“Listen to you talk. First you say it ain’t her color and now you say it is.”

“Well maybe it was the dress she bought that was making me upset. Maybe red would look good on her.”

“No, I don’t think so. I think that you’re right. Daisy and blue really go together. If you make her a beautiful enough dress, she will hug you and everything.”

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah Bo, I really do.”

“Listen to us, talking about dresses.” Bo began laughing. “Now this could only happen in good ol’ Hazzard County huh, Luke?”

“Yeah I suppose so.”

“Should we pick out the material now or later?”

“I think later.”

“Why?”

“We need to waste time.”

“For what purpose?” Luke laughed. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Well Bo, if we wait until Daisy goes to work…”

“Then we don’t have to hear the complaining. Smart man, Luke…very smart man.” Luke smiled and leaned back. Now the boys would be waiting there for a while. I don’t want you to see what they do in their boredom. So hang on y’all.

3

There we go, now we can skip ahead a little. Ain’t I a nice balladeer? I can do this all just for you. Yup I think so. Oh? You want me to go back to the story? Alright, fine, I know I am boring sometimes.

Bo and Luke were bored out of their minds. This is pretty weird for Hazzard County. Think about it y’all. Hazzard always has something going on. Today it seems like nothing is goanna happen. A quiet and peaceful afternoon—Bo doesn’t like those at all.

Luke had set up a cup. He grabbed pennies from the ash tray and handed some to Bo. They tried to aim for the cup. Luke had way better aim than Bo did but you know the younger cousin wouldn’t admit to that.

Suddenly the boy’s attention was pushed somewhere else. You see, the last couple of days, Miss Tizdale has been driving a car while Dodger and Cooter fix her motorcycle.

Now, when you see Miss Tizdale, driving at sixty miles an hour in town, you worry now wouldn’t ya? I sure would. Look at her go…beeping her horn. “Ah Luke, hit it,” Bo commented.

You don’t have to tell me twice.” Luke sped up. Bo slid out of the General, standing on the side of the window, he managed to jump on the back on the car. He shimmied on top of her roof.

“Miss Tizdale, do you mind moving over for me honey?”

“Bo, I wish you hadn’t jumped on my car, I can’t stop,” Miss Tizdale replied.

“Okay, how about this? I am goanna go around the other side, it is unlocked, I can see it from here. We’re then goanna get you into the general. Are you up for changing cars?”

“Boy, I was jumping in car windows before you were born.” Bo smiled as he shook his head.

“Alright, I will take on this beast. You tell Luke what’s going on. He’ll know what to do.”

“No problem Bo.” Miss Tizdale climbed onto the rim of the window. She jumped into the General, sitting down carefully in the seat.

“Nice to have you aboard Miss Tizdale, now why would a sophisticated woman such as yourself would be driving so fast?” Luke questioned.

“I have no breaks Luke…Bo has just walked into a trap.” Luke shook his head.

“No wonder he’s heading out of town with your beast. Don’t worry, I know what to do.”

Meanwhile in the other car, Bo had just gone over a big jump. He continued to play beep the horn. He saw that Luke was behind him until—well, Roscoe stopped the General Lee but not Miss Tizdale’s car.

“Roscoe you bone head! Now what am I goanna do?” Bo questioned. He continued to go as straight as he could, shaking his head the whole time.

Now friends, what Bo and Luke would have done is had General Lee go in front of the blue car. Bo would pull out the keys and Luke would slow the car down. Without General to help us along in this fairytale stop, Bo would have to do something drastic.

I am worried for this one ain’t you? I mean Bo might not get out of this big situation. Then again, he had enough gas to keep going for a long time. As he continued to drive, he shrugged.

Back over at the General Lee, Luke was trying to explain to Roscoe that he needed to help his cousin. “Oh likely story, Luke Duke…you just don’t wanna go to jail,” Roscoe announced. Luke rolled his eyes.

“Roscoe, my cousin is in a car that can’t stop. If I don’t get over there, he could be in big trouble,” Luke grumbled.

“Look Luke Duke, it ain’t my fault you didn’t pay your parking tickets.”

“How can I pay them? All I have is interac and unless you have a machine for me, you ain’t getting any money.”

“Well fine, we have one of those over at the sheriff’s department.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute, just let me…”

“Luke the law waits for no one. Now Miss Tizdale can drive your General and Luke, you can come with me.”

“This is ridiculous!”

“Don’t worry Luke, I’ll get Bo,” Miss Tizdale added.

Back over in the out of control blue car, Bo was about to discover another problem. “You have got to be kidding me!” Bo exclaimed. He tried to turn the wheel for a big corner. Uh huh, the steering is out.

This is pretty bad y’all. Bo quickly got up on the top of the car. There was a branch on the tree he was heading to. That would save him from a major injury. Bo grabbed onto it, just as the car was about to crash. Now that’s pretty slick.

Bo climbed the branches of the tree as he saw the gas leak. This just ain’t his day now is it? There was another tree that was about a foot away. Bo leapt out of the tree, just grabbing onto the other branch.

Bo almost fell off but managed to put his feet onto it. “I ain’t Tarzan,” Bo said to himself. He knew the explosion, if there was one was goanna move closer. So again, he scurried to the other side of the tree.

Bo jumped off and grabbed onto the branch. This time, he saw the General coming. Miss Tizdale noticed the car around the tree. “Bo? Where are you child?” Emma called.

“Up here,” Bo replied. She poked her head out the window of the General.

“How did you get up that high? When I last saw you, you were up in the car.”

“Yeah well that is too long of a story to explain.”

“I have time.”

“Miss Tizdale, I wanna get out of the tree.”

“Oh sorry love, I’ll have you out of there in a jiffy.”

“How comforting, I am ready for ya.”

“Alright, just let me get back in here.” Miss Tizdale slid herself in.

“Alright, no more Tarzan YAHOO.” She drove just under Bo who finally got to let go of the branches. When he got in, Bo rang up the volunteer fire department and Cooter. Then they were on their way back into town.

4

Okay friends, now this is where it gets technical. “Wow Miss Tizdale, two accidents in the span of four days. First with your motorcycle and now this,” Dodger commented as he continued to work on the motorcycle.

“Yeah and good work Bo on killing the rental car,” Cooter added.

“Oh come on, how was it my fault the steering and the breaks failed? It must have been your car that was the problem. I am just lucky the dang thing didn’t explode before Miss Tizdale and I got out of there,” Bo replied.

“Well you could have done it in a better fashion now couldn’t have ya.”

“Luke over here got pulled over for speeding tickets that were unpaid?”

“Bo, that wasn’t my fault,” Luke cut in.

“Wasn’t your mistake? Are you kidding me? This was your fault. If you had paid the dang things, none of this would have happened.”

“Well if you hadn’t recklessly jumped into that car…”

“Reckless…you did the same thing a week ago.”

“So? I planned out what I was doing.”

“So did I. I assumed you had my back.”

“Hold it you two! This wasn’t his fault or yours. Luke, Bo, come look at this,” Cooter broke in. Bo and Luke walked over and looked under the hood. Luke pulled up a line. He shook his head.

“Dang,” Luke mumbled.

“You think that’s bad, go look at the break line it was mutilated.”

“Who would do something like that?” Miss Tizdale asked.

“The same people who tried to ruin your motorcycle,” Dodger replied. She shook her head.

“Then that means…”

“Someone’s trying to do away with you, Miss Tizdale,” Bo said.

“Who would want to kill me?”

“I want to ask the same question ma’am…you are nice and sweet.”

“Well I know one thing y’all, we can’t risk someone else taking a chance on you otherwise…” Luke began.

“Wait a minute…Luke, who will deliver the mail? I have an official duty to help out with the mail and…” Miss Tizdale said.

“We’ll call in an old friend.”

“Who?”

“Your third cousin, Esmeralda.”

“No! Absolutely not.”

“Then who?”

“How about Daisy?” Bo and Luke looked at each other.

“You want Daisy to deliver mail? Miss Tizdale, she has a job.”

“Then get Bo to take over waitering for her.”

“Me as a waiter? Are you kidding me?”

“She works after you come home from school doesn’t she?”

“Yeah but I have homework to do…classes to teach.” Miss Tizdale looked confused. “Ah…I mouthed off a teacher.”

“You can do it Bo, I have seen you multitask,” Dodger laughed.

“No I can’t, I have way too much work to do.”

“Then Dodger will be a waiter,” Cooter said.

“Huh?” Dodger questioned. Cooter everyone else started laughing.

“Come on bro, you were the best waiter ever.”

“Can ya handle shop by yourself?”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re sure?”

“Come on, Miss Tizdale needs you.”

“Alright fine. But I am keeping all the tips.” Cooter looked at Dodger. “It is a good deal. I mean she still gets the pay.”

“Alright Dodge, you get the tips if you wear her short shorts.” Dodger’s eyes widened.

“So Daisy gets all the tips huh?” Everyone began laughing. Now this would be funny. Bo’s goanna be teaching a class. Dodger Davenport is goanna be a waiter. Daisy is goanna be delivering mail. Now all we need is Uncle Jesse and Luke to be part of the Nutcracker. What do you think?

5

As Uncle Jesse walked into the farmhouse, Emma handed him the stamps. “Thanks Emma-Lee,” Jesse commented. He kept walking for a few minutes and then stopped. He looked at her. “Now what are you doing here?”

“I am staying here for a while,” Emma replied.

“What’s wrong with your place?” Emma opened up the refrigerator and found a pie.

“Made it for you, Jesse—while you were in the fields. It’s wild berry.”

“Wild berry?”

“You know raspberries, blue berries, black berries and strawberries.” Jesse smiled and took it out. “I was thinkin’ we could umm…share it since I am here.”

“I would like that.”

“You go on and sit down Jesse, I’ll handle this.” Emma got up and grabbed forks and plates. Jesse took the pie and sat down at the head of the table. Emma-Lee walked over to the table. She placed them softly on the table. She snatched a knife and walked over to the table.

“So you didn’t say why you were…”

“Eat up Jesse, it is really very good.” Jesse slowly cut a piece of pie and placed it into his mouth. He had crumbs in his beard. Miss Tizdale leaned in. Jesse pulled away. “Oh don’t be such a baby.”

“What are you goanna do?” She grabbed a napkin and wiped away the crumbs. His eyebrows went right up. Jesse smiled and cleared his throat. His face became serious once again.

“Thank you.”

“You are very welcome, Jesse.” Do you see the way she looks at him? Uh huh, someone is in love. Bo and Luke walked in with Daisy. Jesse tried to stand up without pushing his chair up. He hit his knee. Jesse held onto it for a second and then moved away.

“Ah, boys, Daisy, what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know if you remember Uncle Jesse but we live here,” Daisy replied smugly. Bo and Luke stared at each other.

“Daisy, you ain’t still mad about that dress thing,” Bo questioned.

“Darn tootin’ I am mad.”

“Okay, number one, the word ain’t mad it is angry. Number two, Bo showed me the dress plans and they’re better than the one that you were goanna wear,” Miss Tizdale announced.

“Really?”

“Yes Daisy, really. You will look better than you could have looked with a store bought dress.”

“Thanks Miss Tizdale.”

“You’re welcome baby.” Bo and Luke looked at each other. How in the world did she do that? Now Luke and Bo figured that they needed a little bit of work on the lady department it looked like.

“How do you…?” Luke questioned.

“Luke there is one thing you have to learn. Boys can be suited for every occasion however, sometimes it takes a little girl talk to straighten things out.”

“Man, I wish I knew how to perform this ritual.”

“Well unless you hang out with girls all the time you won’t get it.”

“Well Bo has gotten it.”

“He has for the most part.” Miss Tizdale smiled at him. “After all, Bo asked about the dress. He was goanna let her rant…which is what most girls like to do when they’re upset.”

“Then what?”

“He was goanna spring the dress surprise on her and she would be wisped away.”

“Then why didn’t you Bo?”

“Simple, Miss Tizdale beat me to the punch,” Bo replied.

“Personally, I don’t get how you two finished sewing before Daisy got home and made that pie.”

“Well Luke, patience is the key.”

“Emma, why are you here?” Jesse asked.

“Uncle Jesse that ain’t nice,” Bo commented.

“Well I wanna know. She’s obviously been here all afternoon without my knowing.”

“Well Uncle Jesse you see…” The boys explained about the accident not being an accident. They told him about the trap that they had set. Unfortunately, Bo would be in school while all of the action was going on.

Bo didn’t mind too much. He was willing to take one for the team. Besides, he had classes to teach. So stick around y’all, here comes the best teaching of your life.

6

The class was settled and Bo was ready to take his cue. He smiled at the class and then at Mrs. Fracas. Now she was sure that Bo wouldn’t get very far in this class. Mrs. Fracas didn’t know Bo very well, now did she?

“Welcome to history…where today may be present but tomorrow, well it makes today the history. So, I was told that I need to teach so here I am,” Bo began.

The young man smiled as he did a back flip. Bo landed on the desk. Everyone was in awe with this move…especially, Mrs. Fracas. Now no one would have thought of this, only this young man.

“Tomorrow, that move will be considered something from the past. That’s how many people are viewed. Who wants to listen about some boring guy in the past? Well I do,” Bo continued.

He got down from the desk, looking at the students. Bo grabbed a picture. Bo held it ever so carefully. The picture there is Martin Luther King Jr.

“This was a man like no other…can you tell me why, Sharon?” Bo asked.

“Simple, he advocated for people’s rights and freedoms. Martin Luther King…” Sharon began.

“Okay, we wanted a summery, not the life and times version where we need commercials.” The class began to laugh. “We’re not goanna even use his whole name.”

“Bo, is there a purpose to this?” Mrs. Fracas asked.

“Yes there is. You know, he was an average every day fellow. Why should we use his whole name? He is just like us right?”

“Right,” The class screamed out.

“He has hair does he not?”

“Right,” The class shouted out.

“He has eyes right? I mean all of us have eyes.”

“Right,” The class screamed out.

“Then why was he treated differently Danny?”

“He was black,” Danny answered.

“But you’re an African American and you ain’t treated any differently are ya?” Danny’s head lowered. “Well were you ever at any time treated differently?”

“Yes I was.”

“I don’t get it, Martin had a dream didn’t he? He had a dream that one day, his four little children could walk around this green earth without being judged for the color of their skin. He dreamed that they would be judged by the content of their character. So does this always happen?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“People still see differences.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know Bo, they just do.” The class looked at Danny.

“Come up here.” Danny looked at Mrs. Fracas. She nodded her head. Yep, Bo was in charged. Danny walked up to the front of the class.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“You know what? Martin wasn’t just hoping for his children to be safe, he was hoping everyone would be. Danny had a problem with racism.”

“Yeah…I did.”

“Because of this racism, he was ridiculed. I stood up for him. Although I ended up injured, I would have done it again.” Bo sighed. “I am bringing in five guests. They’re brothers. They used to go to this school.”

“Bo…”

“Trust me.” Bernard, Johan, Lucas, Jonah and Reeve walked into the room. They looked at Danny. Each one of them opened their arms and gave him a hug. They all stood with papers in their hands.

“Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation,” Bernard began.

“This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice,” Johan continued.

“It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free,” Reeve announced.

“One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination.”

“One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity.”

“One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.”

“So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir,” Lucas commented.

“This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

“It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned.”

“Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked ‘insufficient funds.’ But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt, We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation,” Jonah said.

“So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice,” Bernard said.

“We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now,” Johan declared.

“This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.”

“Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice.”

“Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God’s children,” Reeve said.

“Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood,” Lucas added. They put their papers down.

“Hi, we’re the Hansen’s and what we just read was only a tiny bit of Martin’s speech,” Bernard announced.

“We have a dream…just like Martin Luther King junior did,” Reeve added.

“Our dream wasn’t realized as fast.”

“In fact, we almost didn’t realize our dream. Now, we are here to talk about the horrors of racism,” Lucas said.

“Racism is a horrible thing. It is the belief that human races have distinctive characteristics which determine their respective cultures, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule or dominate others,” Jonah declared.

“Racism can involve offensive or aggressive behavior to members of another race stemming from such a belief.

“Racial harassment offends, humiliates or intimidates and that targets a person or group because of their race.” They all looked up at everyone.

“We were filled with racism,” Bernard admitted.

“The Hansen brothers were the ones who discriminated against Danny,” Bo announced.

“We beat the tar out of Bo. Somehow, he forgave us. Though I still feel sorry everyday for what happened.”

“Don’t.”

“Look, racism is wrong…no matter how you paint it. Everyone is equal. I suggest that everyone forgets about differences. Whether they are racial or anything else—just, forget the differences of people,” Reeve said.

“Yeah, there’s no point.”

“Martin was a man before his time. He knew that there needed to be a change,” Lucas mumbled.

“A change to help the world,” Jonah added.

“A dream that we all should have.”

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.’ I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.”

“I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice,” Bernard articulated.

“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today,” Bo finished.

“Will you live Martin’s dream?” Everyone had tears in their eyes. Now this is class, don’t you think?

Now at the end of class, Mrs. Fracas was amazed. She walked up to Bo who was cleaning up. “Everyone was totally engaged,” Mrs. Fracas told him.

“Not bad for a high school student, huh?” Bo asked.

“You know, I was deeply surprised. When I saw you bring in those characters, I thought you were out of your mind.”

“How so?”

“Not many guests come to History class.”

“Well, if it wasn’t for Martin, I don’t think that they could have realized their dream.”

“The part about Rosa Parks, you put that in so intensely.”

“No one would think anything about her nowadays. A woman sitting on the bus is normal. No, she sat at the front of the bus. Rosa Parks, she was so brilliant.”

“You really know your stuff.”

“Was their any doubt?” Mrs. Fracas laughed as she shook her head.

“Well I am proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I am just afraid of what you’ll do for English class.”

“Oh come on, I’ll woe ladies. English is a great language.” Mrs. Fracas shook her head.

“You are an amazing specimen. Some doctor would be right happy to study your mind.”

“Yeah probably but I wouldn’t let them.” Mrs. Fracas shrugged.

“Science’s loss.”

“I guess so.” He walked out of the classroom as chipper as ever. Now that went well didn’t it? Hopefully for Luke, Daisy, Jesse and Cooter things go just as well. Especially with Miss Tizdale’s life on the line.

7

“This is Bo Peep calling lost sheep one. Come in lost sheep one,” Daisy said over the CB.

“What do you need pretty Mama?” Luke questioned back.

“I know who it is—the one who is after Miss Tizdale.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…everyone else asked about her but didn’t give it too much thought when I was handing out the mail. But Mr. Harrington—boy howdy did he make a stir.”

“Did you tell him where she was?”

“Yup, he’s heading to the coffin factory…right into your hands.”

“That’s a big 10-4 cousin.” Now y’all know where she really is. The Dukes ain’t dumb—are they? You know, to keep her in the coffin factory. Well we’re about to find out.

Mr. Harrington walked into that there coffin factory. He saw a rocking chair move back and forth—now that looks like Miss Tizdale sitting there. Oh boy, I ain’t fixing on seeing her get shot.

Mr. Harrington aimed and shot three times. As the lady fell out of the chair, that rocking chair kept on moving. Now what was going on? I didn’t know—wait a minute. Mr. Harrington’s turning her over. It’s a dummy.

Those boys are smart. Cooter must have made something up to keep the chair rocking. Well this ain’t over for Mr. Harrington. As he turned around, there was Luke with dynamite in hand.

“You better put your gun down Mr. Harrington or so help me I’ll blow both of us sky high,” Luke said.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Mr. Harrington growled.

“Or really?”

“Yeah, I call your bluff.”

“Alright Mr. Harrington, your loss.” Luke went to light the dynamite.

“Okay!” Mr. Harrington finally put the gun down. Cooter walked in with rope and tied him up. Now this was great. No huge mess or nothing.

“Now tell me, why would you wanna kill Miss Tizdale, Mr. Harrington? I don’t get it.”

“Well, Miss Tizdale was the love of my life. I wanted to marry her and followed her here. She said no—why? That dang Jesse came into her heart.”

“That ain’t why you killed her is it?”

“Heck no. I had a dog who I loved a lot. When it bit her, she had me put it down. That was the only family I had. I couldn’t stand her after that.”

“A dog… Mr. Harrington, that is low.”

“It ain’t low when you have no one.”

“He’s right Luke, if I had no one and my best friend was canine, I think I would be right off angry too,” Cooter added. He finished tying the ropes.

“Thanks Cooter.”

“That doesn’t condone you going after Miss Tizdale, Mr. Harrington.”

“I guess not.”

Mr. Harrington went to jail as you can probably guess which was fine considering he tried to kill someone important. Thank goodness the Dukes interfered otherwise her bacon would have been cooked.

Daisy became amazing at the mail bit. She was sad to leave her new found job but knew that waitressing waited for no man. Well that and Boss Hogg said if she didn’t come back to the restaurant, she was in trouble. You know why? Well simple, she attracts the men.

Cooter used his new tricks for a show, had the invisible man. Well—with the help of Luke’s ventriloquism. They made a pretty good team together.

Dodger made a good amount in tips. He gave all of them to Daisy of course. Daisy took him out for lunch in return. Not bad for him.

Bo and Luke got dates for the dance. Sunny and Sharon. You can guess who Luke went out with. Yup, the one he called Sunny afternoon. He adored her.

Bo on the other hand figured he owed Sharon for answering the majority of the questions in class. That kind of left the rest of the girls all sad but they dealt with it the only way they knew how…cutting in with every dance he and Sharon had.

Jesse Duke took Emma-Lee Tizdale to the dance. This made her extremely happy. Jesse was pretty dang shy if you know what I mean. Dang I hate to see that boy blush.

Daisy loved her dress and her date. I guess Bo knows how to sew. But you do see how Bo and Luke are watching her? Like a Hawke…they are worried about her…even with her in the right dress. Well I suppose that’s how it ends…for Hazzard County.

by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County friends, I know, ain’t it nice to have us back here? I love being in Hazzard County. You get to catch up on old stories and new. I always love to learn about what goes on in Hazzard. You know all the dirt that happens.

The action is amazing. The fights, whether win or loose are amazing. The greatest attraction of them all, the flying General Lee. The guns and probation. You know, all of that fun stuff that always goes on in Hazzard. This adventure ain’t any difference.

Do y’all see that bus right there? Well that’s me…no I ain’t a bus, I am inside the bus. I am heading off for the Duke farm. So many memories there. So many wonderful things happened on that farm.

You’re probably wondering how I met the Dukes ain’t you. It is a bit of a story but if you would like to hear it I would be glad to tell it to ya. Well sit on down and I’ll fill your head with tales. Y’see, I lived in Florida. I was singing since I was a boy.

Finally I decided to go and travel…you know, go off to Nashville. Well, as I was coming, my breaks went out on my car—in Hazzard County. I was out of control swerving left and right. I went over too. This white pickup came driving along. He pulled me out of the car, saving my life. However, I lost everything. My guitar—my truck—everything. Livonia

Laurel and Jesse let me live with them for a while. They told me if I worked hard, they would give me enough money to get a new car and a new guitar. So I lived on the farm with them. I worked very hard. They taught me all about farm work and the joy of getting your hands dirty.

Soon, I was playing music. Jesse told me to go for my dream. As I drove off for Nashville, I looked back, waving away. I never thought I would get anywhere with my dreams. Well six platinum records later…here I am, back in Hazzard County.

You see, it is about time I repay Jesse Duke for all he and his wife had done for me. I mean heck, they had a little boy and still let me into their home. Hazzard County hospital is almost finished. That was great for the Dukes.

There was some money left over from the hospital. They wanted to create a veterinary hospital. With it. However, there was just not enough. When Jesse called and asked if I would sing to help animals, well sir I couldn’t resist.

On my way over though, something happened, our tire went flat on the bus. Something was fishy about it so the driver said. As he went to fix it, some bandit came towards us with a gun. When he saw who I was, he asked for my guitar. Now I have used that guitar in every concert I have been in.

With it gone, I didn’t feel right playing. They changed the tired and soon we were heading back over to Hazzard though I wasn’t too impressed. In fact I was pretty upset. I just hoped Bo and Luke would help me on this one.

Back at the Duke farm, things were about to heat up as Jesse checked out the planting and tilling the boys did in the fields. “BO, LUKE!” Jesse exclaimed as he walked into the house.

“What’d you do?” Luke questioned.

“I planted like you said and tilled,” Bo replied.

“Then why is Uncle Jesse so mad?”

“Uh…”

“Who made a bull’s eye in the middle of the field?” Jesse questioned. Luke glared at his cousin.

“Uncle Jesse, I thought for once we should be creative. Don’t worry, all the seed fit in there.”

“Bo Duke, you know I am all for creativity BUT this is one time when you should RESTRAIN yourself.”

“Well Uncle Jesse, I was sick of all those boring rows.”

“Rows are what allow things to grow. You know what it’ll take to unbury all those seeds and do it right?”

“Uncle Jesse, I left enough room for them to grow properly. It should be fine.”

“You know what my father told me, if something works don’t tamper with it. Now I have been farming ever since I was old enough to WALK. You come in here and you ruin my rows with a bull’s eye and a…a…”

“A bull, the other one was a bull—I thought it was a good match.”

“You are in so much…” The phone rang.

“I’ll get it.” Ah saved by the bell. Lucky boys. “Hello, Duke farm, Bo speaking—I can talk forever.”

“Hey Bo it’s me Daisy. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am done with the planting and I am ready to come home,” Daisy told the boys.

“Oh excellent, how was your trip there?”

“Umm…” Daisy shifted her eyes. “It was okay. I don’t remember most of it seeing how it was a few months ago.”

“I see, I see. How is Uncle Jose?”

“He’s up and about now, his ribs are a bit sore still but other than that, he is just fine.” Daisy suddenly had a look of clarity in her eyes. “Are you stalling?”

“You better believe it.”

“Why?”

“How did you do the planning for the crops?”

“In rows like we always do, why?” Daisy crocked an eyebrow as the phone went silent. “Bo, I did them in rows. Why did you ask how I did them?”

“Exactly, you did them in rows.”

“Bo, what did you do?”

“Shapes.”

“Bo, Uncle Jesse is goanna be ticked.”

“Correction, he already is.” Daisy began laughing over the phone. “I thought it looked neat.”

“Neat ain’t what he’s looking for. I think that you know what’s goanna happen.”

“Yup, I sure do.”

“If you’re thinking grounded think again. Uncle Jesse will pull something worse than that.”

“Oh what will he do?”

“No women for a month.”

“I hope not.”

“Well be prepared for the worst. Anyway, I am at a gas station and I got to go.”

“Stay a little longer.”

“I can’t. I have to get home.”

“Fine, don’t save my bacon.”

“I did enough bacon saving over here.”

“Were Coy and Vance really that bad? I mean they were as Duke like as us were they?” Daisy laughed. “What, I am making serious conversations here and you are laughing.”

“You’re just trying to keep me on the phone. Goodbye Bo.”

“Bye Daisy.” Bo hung up the phone. He looked at his family. “Daisy’s making her way home.”

“That’s good,” Luke replied.

“She was at a gas station when I was talking to her.”

“Which one?”

“She didn’t say.”

“Now back to the topic at hand…” Uncle Jesse began. Bo heard a horn beep.

“He’s here.” Luke laughed as he shook his head. Bo ran out to greet my bus.

“How does he do that?”

“I don’t know Uncle Jesse, it is just how Bo is. He’s dripping luck,” Luke replied.

“Dang, I can’t wait until Daisy comes back. I need her to keep my sanity.” Luke began to laugh. “Besides, after a hard day, it is nice to have someone else do the cooking.”

“I made a few meals.”

“Yeah and afterwards we had to get to the restaurant right quick afterward.” Yup, Luke can’t cook to save his life. I didn’t know at this point but I would find out much later. After all, I hadn’t seen Jesse or heard from Jesse four years.

Now this wasn’t by choice. I was on the road. When he finally got a hold of me, I was thrilled to come. When I saw his nephews surrounding me, I had no clue as to who they were. They knew me, after all, I am a singer.

Those boys have become addicted to country music since they came to Hazzard County. So of course they knew my name. When Bo and Luke told their Uncle Jesse that Hazzard needed a new vet center, well sir, Jess knew just who to call.

Those boys were surprised that I even came to good ol’ Hazzard County. Jesse didn’t tell them I used to live here. “Dang, you’re really you I mean you are you!” Bo exclaimed.

“What my cousin is trying to say is you’re…you’re…” Luke began. I began to laugh.

“I am Jace Watson,” I replied.

“Yeah, that’s who you are,” Bo began. As Jesse walked out, I gave him a hug.

“Now ain’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“Jace you look as young as you did back then,” Jesse replied.

“You have changed a lot.”

“Nah, not really, I am the same old Jesse.” They looked at the boys who were in total shock.

“You know Jace Watson?” Bo and Luke questioned at the same time.

“Yes boys, back then he was Jace Scott Watson. He worked on the farm for a while.”

“Woe, you worked on our farm?” Bo questioned.

“Sure did and watched Tom while Jesse and Laurel saved Hazzard County.”

“You watched our cousins?”

“They’re your cousins?”

“Oh, allow me to introduce my nephews—Bo and Luke. Their father left them in my care,” Jesse mumbled.

“Actually, we enjoy it here,” Luke commented.

“Enjoy? We love it here.”

“Why don’t y’all come in?”

“Well my crew likes the bus but…” I began. I knew better than to utter words such as those. Jesse on no account recognizes negative responses to Southern hospitality. He would sleep in his own barn to help someone.

“Oh come on, we have enough room. We have two rooms free with two sets of bunk beds. We—we have a double bed for y’all to sleep on too. There’s always room at the Duke farm. If not, I can build some rooms on,” Jesse commented.

“Well if I ain’t imposing…”

“Oh pooh on imposing, come on y’all, come on in.” The whole band entered. I still had the kind of low face on. “What is going on Jace?” You see? Jesse notices everything.

“My guitar was stolen on the way here and…”

“Say no more, Jace. We’re goanna find it,” Bo commented.

“Really, y’all would do that for me?”

“Of course, being the modern day kid that I am, I know where it is.”

“Bo, you’re forgetting we need our hacker to do it,” Luke cut in.

“I know that Luke, good grief, I ain’t retarded. I do know Daisy’s the only one that’ll be able to trace where this guitar is. However, I do know where to start.”

“Where?”

“EBay.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope, that is what someone would do with the guitar.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I guess that’s what they would do to make money huh?”

“Oh yeah.”

“They would take digital pictures and put it online.”

“Come on Jace, Luke, let’s get looking.”

“Well alright,” I replied. Bo, Luke and I walked up the stairs. Jesse looked at all the band members.

“Who wants pancakes?” Jesse asked. Hands went up like nothing. “Alright then, buttermilk pancakes it is.” Now friends, ain’t it great? We’re goanna have yet another adventure.

2

Daisy walked in the house late that night. She looked back out the door at the big bus sitting out there. Daisy had no idea who it belonged to and I wouldn’t expect her to. I mean really, who looks that closely at a bus at one in the morning. She sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

I walked down the stairs, I really couldn’t sleep. As Daisy saw me, she jumped. “You’re…you’re…” Daisy began.

“I know who I am. You must be the computer hacker that Bo was talking about,” I replied. Daisy’s eyes shifted.

“You have only been here for…”

“A day, ma’am, I have only been here for a day.”

“A Day and them boys have already spread vicious rumors about me.”

“Quite the contrary Miss…uh…”

“Daisy, my name is Daisy.”

“Look Daisy, I was planning on doing a concert to raise money for the vet hospital.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“Someone stole my guitar.” I sighed, shaking my head. I really loved that guitar. Everyday it was like the guitar possessed my fingers allowing me to play.

“That’s a shame.” No, it was more than a shame that it was lost. It was a horrible thing. My career is over without it. “You can afford to buy another one though.”

“I have used this guitar in every single thing I have done. It is my favorite guitar. I can’t play without it.”

“Luck, you said that the guitar was the one that brought you the first success of your life.”

“Yes, it did.”

“Well you know, sometimes, you can do things you have never done before.”

“I have been in three near death car accidents, I know that I can do things I have never done. You don’t need to tell me such tales to make me feel better, Daisy. You just don’t.” Daisy shook her head. She seemed upset.

“Fine, if you don’t wanna listen to me then I’m going to bed.” Daisy got up and began to walk to her room upstairs. “I was trying to help.”

“No wait!” Daisy stopped on the middle stair. I shook my head.

“Yes?” She was right, I was being a ninny. I had to listen to what she had to say.

“Don’t leave, stay with me for a while.” After all, the kin of Jesse Duke was sitting at this table. Jesse was the one who helped me out. Dukes always seemed to have this light about them. They were blessed with a certain amount of wisdom.

“Well if that’s all you have to say…”

“I’m sorry, it has been a long day and I really don’t know what to do with myself.” Daisy sighed and walked down the stairs.

“I’m sorry too.” Daisy sat back down. She pulled out a pear from the basket that was sitting in the middle of the table. She took a bite, letting the juices roll slowly down her chin. Daisy grabbed a napkin and wiped them away.

“I guess sometimes, my mouth runs away with me. I have mostly been near my crew. When that happens…”

“You loose your people skills?”

“How did you know?”

“Yeah Jace, I have met a celebrity before. Not all of them loose themselves.”

“I have seen a lot who have lost themselves.” I sighed, not knowing what to say next to her. Dukes are too easy to talk to I find. When I open up, dang I just can’t put a cork on it. I wanted to stop right there.

“Yeah I know but I also know that many become great. Many stars become the best friends to people who are sick or who are hurt.”

“Yeah, I have met a few of those.”

“You are one of those too or you wouldn’t be here in our house right now.”

“How do you mean?”

“Uncle Jesse judges character and you have it up to your arm pits.”

“Now what were you saying before?” Daisy looked confused. Yeah I know, she said several things before. I guess I had to be more specific. “You know about doing things that you don’t always think you can do?”

“I know that I just spend time with two boys who couldn’t fight through a Hazzard battle with guns in their hands. They worked at it though. Now they are doing great. You have to think the same thing about yourself.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well simple Jace, you need to think that it was you and not the guitar.” I wanted to believe her but I did love that guitar. Daisy knew it. I could see it in her eyes. She shook her head. “You still don’t understand do you?”

“Well…”

“I know how to do this.” Daisy jumped up and walked into the living room. She pulled out her guitar. She walked back in and grabbed me by the hand. Daisy raced out into the barn. She lit the lantern.

“What are we doing? What do you want me to play guitar?”

“No sir, I want you to sing.” Daisy began strumming…she put her fingers on the G chord.

“Sing?”

“Yeah.” Daisy smiled.

“Alright, what are we singing.”

“Hush and you’ll see.”

“A baseball player making his first pitch, Is afraid of hitting the batter. So instead it hits the ditch, now the pitcher is hiding from the matter. If you smashing through that window dear, Remember that you didn’t lift that latch. If you take steps because of fear, you won’t make that catch,” Daisy sang.

“Hey, I like that. Can I try?”

“Sure,” Daisy replied. As she went from D chord back to G.

“Fear of going on a trip, will make life so boring for you. If you do not think of the sinking ship, you’ll enjoy what’s waiting there too,” I sang.

“So don’t you forget to open that window, friend, remember to make decisions that count. Make it so life isn’t a boring end,
life will be a pure surmount,” Daisy sang.

“When deciding on what he would be, the man picked up his guitar pick. Now his music videos are on TV, he made a good decision quick.”

“So don’t you forget to open that window, friend, remember to make decisions that count. Make it so life isn’t a boring end,
life will be a pure surmount,” Daisy and I sang together.

“If you smashing through that window dear, Remember that you didn’t lift that latch. If you take steps because of fear, you won’t make that catch,” Daisy sang. She ended the song by playing G chord then a C chord then a D chord and right back to G.

“You see what I mean?” Daisy questioned me.

“Yeah I do. It was nice to do some singing. That is a pretty good song too,” I answered.

“There you go, you see? You did it without your famous guitar.”

“I still want it back.”

“I think you want it because you like the memory of it.”

“You’re right, I do want it back for that reason.”

“Anyway, we better get back inside if I am goanna do some of my hacking on EBay.”

“You’re the best.” Now she did make me feel better and yes, I could sing and make music up while singing with the guitar. Now I think that Daisy knew what she was talking about. Don’t you?

3

Daisy called for Bo and Luke. They both came racing in, from outside of course. I stayed where I was. I was busy eating. Jesse sure did know how to cook some barbeque. Now as they walked in, Daisy had a sort of sad look upon her face. Now I hope that does mean that my guitar had been bought.

The boys sat down in the two chairs behind their cousin. Bo pushed his curly blonde hair out of his eyes. He looked at his cousin Luke for a second and shrugged. Bo finally brought his eyes forward.

“Now boys we have a problem. Check out where the guitar is,” Daisy announced. Bo and Luke peered down at the location. Nope, it wasn’t still in Hazzard and the boys weren’t too happy on this account.

“Capital City?” Bo and Luke said at the same time. Uh huh, you see why they are so dismayed. Well then again, maybe not all of ya do. Remember y’all; Bo and Luke are on probation.

They ain’t goanna get very far with that on their belt. Well since they committed the crime when they were minors, Bo and Luke’s record will be cleaned up right after their time is done. However, that doesn’t do so much for them at this moment.

Well just incase y’all forgot, or if there are newbies, Bo and Luke ain’t allowed to go many places because of this probation. They have limitations to their travel. Now this ain’t exactly part of their boundaries. When I say not exactly I mean, not.

Now them boys were goanna need a plan. First of all, how were they goanna get there without Roscoe and Enos seeing them? Number two, how were they goanna do it without Uncle Jesse knowing about it?

“Any ideas boys? I have none to offer you,” Daisy mumbled.

“All I know is if Uncle Jesse finds out we’re planning to go after this guitar in CAPITAL city of all places…” Bo began.

“Oh no kidding, you and Luke’s goose will be cooked.”

“Burnt to a crisp actually. Uncle Jesse worked hard to get us out of prison.”

“I know.”

“He gave up his shine traits. Did you know when Jacob-Daley Hogg came back, they ran shine?”

“No I didn’t.” Luke rolled his eyes. “Luke, I am waiting for your plan.”

“Yeah and if y’all would stop talking I would tell you about it,” Luke grumbled.

“Holy, what is your problem today?”

“Bo, this plan is goanna involve me staying behind.”

“Well if you’re so upset about it, why don’t you come, Luke?”

“Simple, I need to stay here while you go.” Luke shook his head and sighed. He crossed his arms. Bo crocked an eyebrow. “Boy does it burn my bridges.”

“Why you? Luke we do everything together. Come on, you have to come.”

“Well because, someone needs to keep this a secret. You have many traits Bo but secrets ain’t one of them.”

“Yes I can, I have kept plenty of secrets.”

“With Uncle Jesse?”

“Uh…”

“Yep, we’ll have to bring in Danny for this one.”

“Danny?” Daisy questioned.

“Uh huh, Danny is the only one besides me that can do a good Bo impression. Bo, you’re goanna say that you’re staying over there.”

“Got ya Boss,” Bo said.

“Daisy, you and Bo are going to Capital City.”

“Hold the phone; won’t it look funny if Bo is sitting up with me in the car driving to Capital City? Luke, this ain’t a plan this is like throwing Bo to them and saying, enjoy juvenile hall,” Daisy replied.

“Who says he’s sitting by you? He’ll be in the back seat.”

“Luke, I hate to spoil your fun but he’ll see me there too,” Bo answered.

“Yeah Luke, he will, we should just give up on this weird idea,” Daisy added.

“No, in the back seat,” Luke said.

“I don’t follow.”

“Neither do I,” Bo mumbled.

“At least we’re on the same train of thought Bo.”

“Yeah I guess so, Miss Daisy.”

“I guess I’ll be like the invisible man.” Daisy and Bo began to laugh at Luke. You know what was truthfully funny about it? Luke wasn’t laughing. “Okay, you’re serious?”

“What I mean by Bo in the back seat, I mean really in the back seat. As in Bo being incased by the seat itself,” Luke replied.

“Are you serious?”

“Oh yeah, I mean this in the best way.”

“Cooter digs out all the parts and…”

“You go in literally the back seat.” Bo shook his head. He got up out of the chair and backed right up.

“Oh no, you ain’t putting me in there.”

“Oh Bo, don’t be such a baby.” Luke got out of his chair and walked closer to his cousin.

“I don’t trust you or Cooter you’ll probably put rusty nails in there.”

“Yeah sure, I am after you.” Bo backed up further. Daisy got up out of her chair.

“You never know, you could be.” She knew that she and Luke would have to double team their younger cousin. Remember, Bo is into track and field. If Bo made the dash, he would be hard to catch.

“Oh Bo, I ain’t that mean!”

“Oh come on Bo, do it for Jace,” Daisy commented.

“Do it so Uncle Jesse doesn’t kill you for the fields,” Luke laughed. Bo’s eyes shifted as he sort of half smiled.

“You know this is the only time he’ll let you go.”

“With Jace and the group here, he ain’t goanna get as upset as he normally will.”

“Uncle Jesse has too much on his mind.”

“Would you two stop jabbering? You had me at the fields,” Bo answered. Daisy laughed as she shook her head.

“You are a nut, don’t you think he’s a nut, Luke?” Luke shrugged. “Oh come on, you have got to think so.”

“Oh he does, Luke just doesn’t like to vocalize his feelings.”

“Now what are you…?” Luke began.

“Ha! I got you to talk. I win yet again.” Luke rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms. Bo smiled and poked his cousin. “Don’t take it too hard Luke.”

“You just don’t know when to quit do you now?”

“Nope.” Luke smiled as his eyebrows went up. He jumped on his cousin. Bo began to struggle to get Luke off of him.”

“Well, neither do I.”

“You sly fox you!”

“I can be can’t I?”

“But you’ll never beat Bo Duke.”

“I will too.”

“Not this time.” Bo somehow managed to get out Luke’s hold and stand up. “You see, I have things to do.” He tickled Daisy until she got out of the way of the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Well I might as well get cleaned up before you shove me in the box of doom.”

“You’re not going to die in there.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Oh Bo come on, stop being such a baby,” Daisy commented.

“I ain’t acting like a baby. I am still going in the dang thing ain’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Well then stop worrying about it.” Luke stood up as Bo closed the door.

“Do you think he’s sore at us?”

“Nah, I think he just doesn’t like the idea being stuck in one place for too long,” Luke answered his cousin.

“I thought he was claustrophobic or something.”

“Bo? I don’t think so. He’s made out with girls in tighter spots than that.”

“Eewe really?”

“Uh huh.” Daisy shuttered. “Oh don’t worry, they were perfectly safe.”

“Uh huh.”

“Well we better get ready too.”

“How are you goanna get ready?”

“Well I am goanna start by going outside and finishing my ribs. Well that at my potato salad. Then we’ll go.” Daisy laughed. Now this would be an adventure. Don’t you think?

4

Bo, Luke and Daisy drove to the garage. They slid out of the windows of the General Lee. Daisy climbed over the seat of the General. She too pulled herself out of the window. Daisy straightened her shorts out. She pulled her shirt down to cover her belly button.

They walked into the garage but not before sounding ol’ Dixie. You know, their faithful horn. The mechanic didn’t bat an eyelash. He continued to work under the hood. Bo wasn’t too impressed. He wanted some sort of a reaction. I guess that’s the way Bo is.

Luke shrugged and signaled everyone to come in. As they saw the regular sight of the blue denim bottom sticking out, they didn’t think blink an eye. It was a normal sight for them after all.

Daisy cleared her throat. The mechanic waved and got right back to work. It was Boss’ new car. You remember his last one being destroyed don’t you now? You know, by Roscoe P. Coltrane.

Well this was his brand new one. It was a 2005 Cadillac. Not a bad car. However, Bo and Luke’s General Lee looked better. I don’t know why but I just like the look of the General Lee. Especially when he is flying through the air, I love the sight of that.

“Cooter, we need a…” Daisy began. As the guy turned around, they didn’t see Cooter. “Sorry Dodger.”

“Well now, I was told that from the back I look like him,” Dodger laughed. He shook his head. “Don’t worry y’all, I ain’t offended. Now, what can I do for ya?”

“We need you to hollow out the back seat of General Lee,” Luke commented.

“But it is under protest,” Bo grumbled. Dodger scratched his head.

“Okay, I may be new at the Cooter repair list but ain’t hollowing out the seat a step in the wrong direction? I mean after all, I fix cars,” Dodger cut in.

“Well you see we need to get a guitar back.”

“That’s why you want me to hollow out your seat? What did you loose it back there?”

“No, I would like to go in the back seat. So make sure it looks normal on the top.” Dodger crocked an eyebrow as he whacked his ears a couple of times.

“You know what? I don’t want to know. Luke, you finish up on Boss’ Caddy and I’ll get to work on this thing.”

“Sure,” Luke replied.

“You better do a good job or this job won’t be for free.”

“Oh Dodger relax, you know that I am a good mechanic. I just don’t have all the parts you do.”

“The only reason you’re a good mechanic is because your Uncle Jesse taught you.”

“Well duh.”

“Bo, you wanna help me?”

“Yeah of course,” Bo replied.

“Thank goodness you’re willing to help me for whatever you’re using this for.”

“I told you, we need to find…”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Okay.”

“Daisy, you keep an eye on your cousin Luke there. Make sure he doesn’t make a mistake.”

“Sure thing Dodger,” Daisy laughed.

“Why do you trust her more than me?” Luke questioned. Dodger shrugged.

“Beats me,” Dodger replied.

Meanwhile, over at the farm, Jesse was walking back and forth. He looked at me and then looked at the door. Now personally, I knew something was rolling in his head. What it was, I wasn’t sure of.

Jesse was always kept his feelings to himself unless he really knew the person. In this case, I was no stranger. I worked with him for a long time. So I knew he would confide in me eventually. After all, who in their right mind could keep everything bottled up?

“My big toe is a hurtin’ something’s goanna happen and I can’t figure out what,” Jesse finally said.

“What do you mean something is goanna happen? Something big or something small?” I questioned. Then I shook my head. Oh I knew my question was dumb. This after all was Hazzard County. “Never mind, look Jesse, don’t worry too much.”

“I can’t help it; them boys know how to get themselves in trouble. I wonder what they’re planning this time.

“I saw the EBay thing up on the computer.”

“Did you read it?”

“No, I exited it.” Jesse shook his head and lowered it. “What? What did I do?”

“Ain’t it obvious? They’re going after your guitar—they have to be. You just gave away our clue to finding them.”

“They said they were going to Cooter’s place and…”

“Which means they want to do something to create a plan…I don’t know what they’re planning though.”

“Jesse, how do you know they’re even planning something?” Now Jesse was glaring at me. Look, I know about Hazzard, I just keep asking obvious questions.

“Simple, Bo is just like me. Luke is too much like my cousin and now brother in law, Jose.” Jesse sat down finally. He grabbed an apple and took a bite.

“How are y’all alike?”

“Jose would always come up with these plans. I would end up almost ruining my probation and his own.”

“Why would you do them then?”

“Well because we wanted to save the world. When ya are as young as we were that’s all you ever wanna do.”

“I couldn’t imagine being on probation.”

“Thank goodness all the charges Sheriff Hogg would ever lay on me were dropped.”

“How about your probation? Did that stick with you?”

“Oh heck no, I was put on probation when I was sixteen like Luke was. They said that everything would be erased the minute my probation was over.”

“How will it work for these boys?”

“Oh same way I ‘spose.”

“So you really think they’re in trouble.”

“I don’t think Jace, I know.” Well then, we had better see what they’re up to now shouldn’t we? Yup, I think that’s enough of me for a half a second.

You see, after all the blabbing I did, Luke finished the Cadillac. Daisy was just doing her final check to make sure his work was good. I had no doubts. As I would later find out, Luke is amazing when it comes to cars.

Bo and Dodger finished hollowing out the seat. It looked pretty small but Bo was game—well for the most part. Come on, if you were goanna be shoved in a box, do ya think you would be happy? I don’t think so.

“You know, you should go, Luke. I mean you’re shorter and it would be better for you. I am 6’5 now. What will it be like for me to go in there?” Bo questioned.

“You have got to be kidding me cousin, get in!” Luke exclaimed. Bo rolled his eyes.

“You have got to be the biggest pain in the butt I have ever met.”

“Look whose talking, Bo?”

“Well you are so bossy.”

“Bossy? You’re calling me bossy?”

“Yup.”

“Why I outta…”

“Take it like a man you are so bossy.”

“No I am not, I just want you to go there and get back before Uncle Jesse figures us out. Now that ain’t a crime is it?”

“Come on, give him some credit Bo, he did come up with the idea,” Dodger reminded him.

“He did not, I saw something like this in one of Uncle Jesse’s journals. Grandpa and Uncle Luke did it with some marshal guy,” Bo replied.

“Well who cares who thought of it? At least you won’t be discovered,” Luke retorted. Bo rolled his eyes. He got in the hollowed out seat. Luke put the top back on.

“Come on Daisy, let’s do this thing.”

“Alright Bo, we’re off. Thanks Dodge, we’ll be in touch,” Daisy announced. She got in the driver’s seat of the General Lee. Now I am glad it ain’t me in the back seat. Daisy put on Bo’s helmet. She fastened her seat belt and turned the key.

5

Well folks, Miss Daisy’s off. As she drives down the road, Enos waves to her, thinking she was Bo. As the slender hand came out, Enos’ eyes widened. His smile rolled across his face. Daisy winked.

Enos went off for his lunch break while Roscoe was waiting for suckers to come down his road. Look at him folks. He is so obvious in those bushes. Daisy paid no attention to him but he certainly knew what he was doing.

You see, Roscoe wanted to throw the Dukes in jail. This was the road that headed out of Hazzard. Roscoe got into his patrol car. “You see that Flash? That Bo Duke is walking right into my trap,” Roscoe laughed. Flash barked. “Here we go little darlin’, Daddy will afford some doggy num-nums tonight, Khee.”

Daisy finally saw Roscoe in the back. “Oh no, he’s already following us,” Daisy said.

“Who cares, he can’t see me,” Bo answered. Daisy smiled softly. She shook her head.

“Well no, he can’t can he?” Daisy smiled. She stopped the car.

“That doesn’t mean you have to stop the car.”

“Sure, there’s no point of running.”

“Women always do things the boring way.” Daisy rolled her eyes.

“Not boring, just easy not hush, Roscoe’s coming.” Roscoe walked over to the car. Daisy pulled off her helmet. Her hair began to swirl up in bits as the wind caught it.

“You’re not Bo Duke,” Roscoe mumbled. Daisy took out her lipstick and applied it to her lips.

“No—I am not.”

“Woo-Jit, I thought you were a him but you were really a her.”

“Oh come on Roscoe Coltrane, you know as well as I do I am a girl and a good one at that.”

“Well—uh…you see…”

“Roscoe, do I look like Bo?” In fact, do you see Bo anywhere in this car, Roscoe?”

“No, no I don’t.”

“I just wanna go to Capital City.”

“Okay…well you can go then.” Daisy smiled. She drove off, leaving Roscoe in the dust. Dang, I wish I had that power. Don’t you?

Well, as Daisy and Bo finally made their way to Capital City, Bo got out of the back seat and sat up front. They found the address with ease. Bo watched as someone drove away. A boy, maybe just as old as Daisy or Luke ran out.

Bo made sure he got the license plate number down. They got up out of the car, sliding through the windows as they normally did. They walked over to the young man.

“DANG IT! He stole my original Jace Watson Guitar!” The young man exclaimed.

“Which you stole from Jace,” Daisy growled. As the young man tried to make a run for it, Bo grabbed his shirt. The juvenile fella looked way too skinny for a robber, just as I had told the Dukes.

“Woe, you ain’t going anywhere until we hear an explanation. My cousin will provide that insurance.”

“Look, I thought it would save my house from being sold. I don’t want to live on the streets or in one of THOSE places where they send poor people. I just thought I could lower the burden on my mother.” Daisy and Bo looked at each other.

“Well, stealing is not the answer…we’ll help you out though ah…”

“Lawrence, Lawrence Thomas…nice to meet you ah…”

“Duke, Daisy Duke.” They shook hands. They began talking a little bit while Bo did some calling of his own. He phone a friend, Enos Strait and talked to him for a while. You think that it ain’t about the bad guy?

Well then you don’t know the Dukes too well. Bo somehow managed to get an address from those plates. He shook his head like something was beyond wrong.

“Do you really think THE Jace will help me after I stole his guitar?” Lawrence asked.

“Sure he would.”

“Man, thanks.”

“We can worry about those later. Right now we have to go after some baddies. Bo, did you catch the license plate?”

“Yup but there’s some bad news on that,” Bo commented.

“What’s that?”

“Well you ain’t goanna like this.”

“Lay it on me cousin.”

“We’re going to Alabama.”

“What?”

“Sweet Home Alabama…you know, Alabama…the state?”

“Oh no, that is way out of your probation lines what if…?”

“Hello? Hollowed out back seat!” Daisy shook her head. “Look, didn’t Catherine, Tom and Johnny move down there to be closer to each other?”

“Yeah so…”

“We can stay with them.” Daisy sighed. She couldn’t believe she was getting Bo further away.

“I don’t know why I listen to you, you know that? You’re goanna get yourself in big trouble.”

“I’m a Duke, ain’t that what we’re supposed to do? Besides, Luke is covering for us.”

“Yeah…I suppose he is but…”

“The relax, we have nothing to worry about.”

“Oh you say that now but wait until you have a number strapped to your chest.”

“You worry too much.”

“And you don’t worry enough.” Bo smiled. He shook his head, winking at his cousin. “Bo, you have got to be serious about this, your life depends on what you do.”

“I know…I also know that we’re goanna be fine.” Well…I personally think Bo didn’t mind going because of the fields. In my opinion, I don’t think anyone would wanna be stuck in that box. Would you?

6

Daisy continued driving right over the county line. Now folks, that is one heck of a drive. She didn’t stop that long though…only long enough for more gas.

Daisy continued driving until she hit Montgomery Alabama. A very beautiful place if I might say so myself. This is the capital City of Alabama where Catherine, Tom and Johnny share a house.

Catherine and Johnny both worked at a school. I thought that was somewhat funny. You know, seeing how Johnny would do anything to get out of school when he was younger. Catherine loved school though.

Catherine taught music. She absolutely loved the art of music. She enjoyed how fast the students learned how to play. Catherine became familiar with every instrument in her band room.

Johnny taught English and gym—well along with drama. He found out that he had a knack for making people understand things. People in his classes never wanted to leave. They would even come back to him for even more advice. Gym, well he always was good in that.

Drama, Johnny had been living in Hazzard County. If he weren’t good at drama, he wouldn’t survive. Think about all the acting—or as we like to call it, shucking and jiving that them two had to do.

Where does Tom work? Well, he works in a hospital. Someone has to do all the research work don’t they? Tom is just the person. He is made for the lab. Somehow, Tom had managed to do his doctorate in six years instead of eight.

All three loved their jobs and enjoyed helping people. It was truly where they belonged. Together, they bought a pretty big house and shared cost on the mortgage. Not a bad idea.

Bo finally got out of that cramped little box. He walked somewhat crooked at first. Now if I were stuck in there I would be walking the same way. I can’t believe they’s doin’ all of this for me. Now, Bo knocked on the door. Daisy straightened out her clothes.

As the door opened, Bo and Daisy jumped. Now I don’t know about you ladies and gentlemen but if I saw this sight here I would jump too. Yup, it was Cooter Davenport. No wonder Cooter didn’t make his usual repair, he was up here.

“What are you doing here?” Bo, Daisy and Cooter said at the same time.

“No, what are you doing here?” They all said at the same time again.

“Woe, hold it, before we keep doing this, we wanna know what you’re doing here Cooter,” Bo said, breaking off from the unison wagon.

“Well I was up here to meet some buddies of mine who moved down here. You know, they’s mechanics too. We were goanna talk about cars we have seen and parts we made. I wanted to stay up with these guys so I would have a cheap place to crash,” Cooter replied.

“Makes sense.”

“I wondered why Dodger was doing a Cooter repair for us.” Cooter crocked an eyebrow.

“What the heck did you let him do for you?”

“Hollow out the General Lee’s back seat.” Cooter crocked en eyebrow. “Well if you were there, Cooter, we would have gotten you to do it.”

“You probably confused the heck out of him.”

“Yeah, we probably did.”

“For what reason?”

“Huh?”

“Did you take out the springs and the cushion?”

“Oh, got ya, we’re on the same wave length.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“We wanted to get a guitar back.” Cooter shook his head. He couldn’t believe they would do something like this.

“So you came here in the back seat so you wouldn’t be seen?”

“You get it, why doesn’t Dodger?”

“Simple, I speak Duke.”

“This is true.”

“You know what?” Cooter scratched his head. “It looks strange with y’all crowding outside.”

“Yeah, I suppose it does,” Daisy replied. Cooter gestured the Dukes to come in.

“Enter if you dare.”

“I might just take you up on that offer, Cooter.” Bo and Daisy walked in the house and Cooter closed the door behind them. Bo stretched out on the couch, being sore from the box.

“Where’s everyone else?” Bo asked.

“Ah they’ll be back soon. They were shopping,” Cooter replied. Bo shrugged.

“Why would they want to at this time?”

“How would I know, they don’t have anything better to do.”

“I guess.”

“I suppose they wanted to eat.” Bo began laughing right along with Daisy. “No, that doesn’t mean I ate all their food.”

“Just most of it right?”

“Uh huh—I mean no.” Bo and Daisy began to laugh even harder. Cooter got in a big comfortable reclining chair. He looked at the Dukes.

“Now, explain the whole story from the beginning.”

“Alright,” Daisy said. She yawned. “Are you sure you have time for all of it?”

“Yeah I am sure.”

“Well then, here goes the fire works.”

“I just can’t wait.” After telling Cooter everything, Daisy and Bo went to bed. Daisy in the second guest room and Bo went with Cooter into the first. Weren’t the older cousins goanna have a surprise in the morning?

7

The next morning, Luke got a phone call. He yawned tiredly. After all, the poor guy stayed up all night worrying about his cousins. There must have been a complication when getting the guitar. “Hello?” Luke questioned.

“Hi, you don’t know me but your cousins told me to phone you today. You know Daisy and Bo? Well yeah of course you know who they are. My name is Lawrence—uh, you’re Luke right?” Lawrence questioned.

“Yeah—I’m Luke.”

“Well, Bo said that they’re going to Alabama to get the guitar because it was moved.”

“How do I know if you’re not holding them there?”

“Bo figured you would think that. So he told me to tell you ‘Quiet ya bone head and quit worrying.’…or something along that nature.”

“Alabama is way out of his jurisdiction. He needs to come home Lawrence.”

“Bo figured you would say that too.”

“Oh he did, did he?”

“Yeah.”

“What was his reply?”

“Stop being so bossy.” Luke clenched his fists. “Hello? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, thanks buddy. Okay, bye.” Luke hung up the phone. He shook his head and sat down. The phone rang again. “What?!”

“Luke it’s me Danny, cool off okay? I don’t need to be yelled at when I am doing a favor for you,” Danny said over the phone. Luke sighed.

“Sorry…may I ask a personal question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Am I—too bossy?”

“Sometimes…but everyone has a character flaw.”

“You have been talking to Bo haven’t you?”

“No, I called to ask when he was coming back. Jesse called for him yesterday.”

“And…?”

“And I did what you told me to but your uncle and my dad are the two hardest people to lie to.”

“Yeah I know.” Danny sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Alabama.”

“That’s where they are?”

“Uh huh, that’s where they are.” Luke shook his head. He did it like he had some control. “I don’t know what to do with them. If Bo messes up and his probation is revoked…”

“Daisy won’t let that happen…you know that Luke.”

“Hazzard wouldn’t be the same without Bo putting me in my place. It really wouldn’t be the same without his luck streaks.”

“Hey, I know your cousin really well. If I know anything about him I know he’s going to be fine.”

“I sure hope so.”

“Well I got to go.”

“Alright, bye.” Luke hung up the phone and leaned against the wall. He didn’t know quite what to do. I don’t blame him. The last thing I want is him to loose his probation because of me.

I didn’t even know about this plan. If I did I would have been set against it. Like Daisy said, I can play with other guitars. I guess I was just being silly.

Well back in Montgomery Alabama, Daisy was making breakfast. In Hazzard County, they’re used to getting up early. Over in Alabama, Catherine, Tom and Johnny don’t get up until six in the morning. Now can you imagine what early is to the Dukes of Hazzard?

Johnny always thought with his stomach first thing in the morning. It was the first thing that flared and the last thing that gurgled before he went to bed. Johnny loved food—especially home cooked food.

As he smelt the delicious food, he was attracted to it like nothing else. When Johnny goes shopping, he has to stare at food the whole time. Now folks if that doesn’t make you hungry I don’t know what will.

He sat across the table from Bo…not even really noticing—at first. With all the smells hiding both her and Bo, I wouldn’t notice either. It was like she was part of some sort of dream. A very delicious dream.

“So Daisy, what’s for—DAISY!” Johnny exclaimed. The poor man had to look back over at Bo to make sure he was actually sitting there. Bo waved at Johnny.

“No, I ain’t on the menu,” Daisy replied. Bo began laughing as he shook his head. Daisy was good on manipulating words to the way she wanted.

“That was a good one, Daisy,” Bo told her. He sat back in the chair looking out the window. A smile rolled across his face though his heart was pounding. “Beautiful day out huh?”

“Oh yeah.” Daisy took a look out the window near the stove. She saw the flowers outside. “It is stunning outside. It’s a shame we can’t stay long.”

“No doubt, I would love to stay longer.” Bo knew this conversation wouldn’t last forever. For all their cousin knew, Bo and Daisy were runaways. Well besides, Johnny could almost taste their fear.

“What are you two doing here? More importantly, does my dad know where you two are?” Johnny finally got out. He shook his head. “No, he doesn’t know you’re here.”

“And we would appreciate it if it stayed that way.”

“If Uncle Jesse finds out that we’re in Alabama…” Daisy began.

“Our good goose will be cooked,” Bo added. Catherine came running down the stairs.

“Hey what smells…Bo?” Catherine said.

“Hiya.”

“Did you invite them here Johnny?”

“No, they invited themselves, something which Cooter forgot to inform us of,” Johnny replied. Catherine shook her head and sighed. “You haven’t heard the worst part of it.”

“Bo’s sitting at our table and is on probation. I don’t need to know the half of it.”

“Dad doesn’t know.” Catherine pushed her hair back with her palms, hard. Now I know what that means. Don’t you? She can’t believe Bo and Daisy would be so stupid as to come here without permission.

“Well that takes the cake.”

“Catherine we…” Daisy began.

“I don’t want to hear it. That was very irresponsible,” Johnny cut in.

“Where does he think you are?” Catherine asked.

“Capital City,” Daisy mumbled.

“Danny’s place,” Bo added.

“Well, which one is it?” Johnny questioned.

“He thinks Bo is still in Hazzard and I am in Capital City. Luke’s playing damage control,” Daisy answered her cousin. She flipped her pancakes. Daisy turned off the stove. She put the scrambled eggs in a blue bowl.

Tom walked in the house through the back door. “I’m home from work…what a long…Daisy—Bo?” Tom began. He took off his lab jacket and stared at his brother and sister. Johnny and Catherine shrugged.

“Don’t look at us…it wasn’t our idea. Bo is actually off in Hazzard somewhere and Daisy in Capital City. They were just about to tell us what they were doing in Alabama in the first place,” Catherine told her brother.

“I see…so now that we’re on the subject, why are you two here?”

“Well Tom you see…” After explaining my story to their cousins, Daisy looked up at them. “So you see, we need to get the guitar back.”

“We can’t tell Dad, Tom and you know it. He’ll flip that they’re here,” Johnny mumbled. Catherine rolled her eyes.

“Don’t you think his big toe is already predicting trouble?” She asked.

“Well you know, they’re trying to salvage a man’s respect. A man who helped raise our brother.”

“You guys, they’re staying. Instead of sleeping in, I’ll use my time off to help them. Johnny and Cat, after school is out, you phone me…my phone will be on vibrate,” Tom announced.

“Why help them? We should be sending them back,” Catherine pointed out.

“Yeah—as adults we should be saying you need to go back. However, as former residents of Hazzard County, I know they have a mission.” Daisy and Bo smiled at each other. “However, you’re not out of trouble.”

“What do you mean?” Bo asked.

“Well that’s simple little cousin, when you get back, you will do something amazingly nice for our Dad. Send me a picture of whatever you did and you will be off the hook.”

“Serious?”

“Yup.”

“Thanks Tom, you really are the best cousin.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Let’s get eating everyone, the food is goanna get cold.” Everyone gathered around the table. Except Cooter who snuck out early to avoid the screaming band of Dukes. Now that Cooter sure knows what he’s doing, don’t you think?”

8

Now, they found the address alright. There was one big guy sitting outside drinking a coca cola. He had quite the muscles on him. The man wore a cowboy hat…the same color I wore. Now Bo, Tom and Daisy noticed the pants…wranglers. The belt buckle with my name engraved on it.

This guy wasn’t in it for the money. This guy was in it because he wanted to be like me in every way possible. This baddy wasn’t on his own. Nope, three cars pulled up. Bo pulled on his collar as those men got out. They were all just as big as the first one.

“Well, usually about this time, I would ask Luke for a plan. Since he’s not here…Tom, what’s the plan?” Bo questioned. Tom’s eyes shifted.

“How would I know? They look like tough gentlemen,” Tom replied.

“What do we rush them or pull them outside or what?”

“Excuse me…” Daisy began.

“Well I am not exactly sure,” Tom answered Bo, ignoring Daisy.

“Are you sure of anything?” Bo asked.

“Yeah.”

“What’s that?”

“We have to get in there.”

“Boys…” Daisy tried to break in.

“Well ain’t that a kick in the head? Why didn’t I think of that? We have to get in there. Well paint my backside red and call me Mary-sue,” Bo said sarcastically.

“Ah Bo and Tom…” Daisy tried to say.

“Well it takes time to ease into a plan. You know, make it work,” Tom told Bo.

“Well can you think of it a little bit faster?” Bo asked. Now when someone ignores Miss Daisy, she doesn’t take it too lightly. No one should ignore that little woman.

“Maybe wait until those boys are gone.”

“Tom, I’m Bo Duke. Now inside Bo Duke’s mind you will find that I have NO patience for something like that.” Daisy put something in both Bo and Tom’s face. Both were a part of Daisy’s plan.

“Why don’t we work on their boy hormones?” Daisy asked. She watched as their garage door opened. They began to play. Tom and Bo looked at the band and then at Daisy.

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t work. Daisy you’re a genius!”

“Yeah, why didn’t you bring this up sooner?” Tom questioned. Daisy clipped him in the back of the head.

“Just get out and cover me okay?” Daisy replied.

“Owe, that hurt.”

“Shows you for not listening to me!” Bo began to laugh. Daisy clipped him in the head too. Tom looked at him.

“What? I’m used to this,” Bo replied. Bo and Tom got out of the General Lee and covered up the side windows while she got dressed up in her special suit.

As she came out, even Tom turned his head. Bo growled at him, being the brother type he was. However the second he remembered it was his cousin, Tom turned away. Daisy walked passed the guys.

Now, no amount of band obsession will turn a person away from Miss Daisy. Her eyebrows rose slightly, as she waved ever so softly. The men put down the guitars. Bo’s eyebrows rose. He saw my guitar just sitting there waiting for him. As Daisy talked to those fellas, Bo grabbed the guitar.

However, he wasn’t as quiet as he thought he was being. The goons turned around. Bo began running toward the General. Daisy got in there first and slid in the back. Bo managed to slide in, just pulling the guitar in at the right moment. Tom began driving the General Lee.

“Now what?” Tom asked.

“Umm…give me your cell phone,” Bo replied. He looked at his watch as Tom continued to drive. As He saw the dip in the road, Tom took it, flying higher than normal. His eyebrows went up.

“I have been waiting to do that for a long time.” Daisy smiled at let out a YAHOO. She took out some of the bows and arrows sitting in the back.

“Hey Johnny…this is Bo, you and Catherine both bring your cars. If you know where Cooter is, we need him too.” There were gun shots behind him. “Highway six…got to go, bye.” Bo flipped the phone down. He looked at Tom who was having too much fun for words.

“Are you having fun yet?”

“Personally I don’t think you should be driving…you got off of work.”

“You wanna switch me?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, I’ll shoot explosives.”

“Actually, let’s leave it to me, the bikini lady,” Daisy replied. She held the wheel as Tom made the way to the back. Bo got into the driver’s seat. Now the set up seemed weird. Bikini babe in the passenger seat…more experienced Duke in the back.

Bo was a great driver though. He couldn’t believe those three cars had managed to stay behind him. As the Calvary came, Bo smiled. “Daisy, you pass you the guitar to Catherine’s car,” Bo told her.

“Alright.” Now you know what was funny about this? Catherine and Johnny both carpooled. So, they drove vans to pick everyone up. So they had teachers in the back. However, they were southerners, they knew what was going on. A couple of them were Hazzardites themselves.

“You do it nice and easy.”

“I am.” Catherine grabbed the guitar. The person in her front seat held the wheel as she passed it back. The phone rang, Bo passed it to Daisy. “Hello?”

“What now? They’re all following me,” Catherine said over the phone.

“Just keep going with it…when you see Johnny coming the opposite way, get your passenger to pass it to him.”

“Some weird plan y’all got cooking but I hear ya.” Bo changed lanes and somehow switching back pretty quickly. He managed to get in between Catherine and the baddies.

Bo sounded the Dixie horn and kept on driving. The guys tried to shoot out his tires but Bo moved just way too fast for them. “Docee doe and dance away,” Bo called out.

“If they shoot your tires here y’all will stay YAHOO,” Tom exclaimed. They began speeding even faster than before. Sure enough, Johnny appeared on the opposite side. He grabbed the guitar. The baddies turned around.

As they did, Daisy shot an arrow; one of the guys went into the ditch. The other two went after Johnny. “You are…” Bo began.

“Amazing?” Daisy asked.

“Yeah, amazing.”

“I learned from the best.” Johnny took a turn onto a back road that he knew of. The cell phone, now on Tom’s lap began to ring. Tom answered it and listened for a few minutes.

“Okay, Cathy is goanna go one way, we’re going to follow right behind. She’ll take the guitar and we’re goanna take out another one of these cars,” Tom announced.

“Works for me,” Bo replied.

“Then Cooter is goanna help you take out the last one with one of his friend’s cars.”

“Cooter better know what he’s doing.”

“Yeah I hope so too.” Now this is action folks. I wish they brought a video camera don’t you? Now just as the two cars were gaining on Johnny, you could see Catherine grab the guitar just as Daisy let the dynamite fly. One car went over while another stayed firmly on the road.

“YAHOOO!” Daisy exclaimed. That’s when Cooter showed up cross country. Bo’s eyebrows went up. As the bullets ran out in the car, Bo and Cooter inched up, smashing the car together. Well that was that.

Well, the Dukes left them baddies to their mess. Nope, there was no one seriously hurt which was good. After saying their goodbyes Cooter, Bo and Daisy went back to Hazzard County.

We had the concert. With the left over money, we gave ol’ Lawrence the left over money. Jesse questioned where Bo and Daisy were but they answered, “Around.” Now ain’t that a perfect picture, for Hazzard County.