by: Keith

October 5, 1984

ACT 4

(Fade in on Partner leading Bo and Sam into Thompson’s room at gunpoint. Al appears next to Sam)

AL: Careful, Sam. This guy looks like he’s got an itchy trigger finger, and Ziggy says there’s an 87.6 percent chance he’ll shoot you at the slightest move.

SAM: (to partner) You’re never gonna get away with this, you know. My cousin and I are well-known in this town. People are gonna notice we’re gone.

BO: That’s right. And our Uncle Jesse and cousin Daisy ain’t gonna rest til they find us.

(Handlink whales in Al’s hand. He reads it)

AL: Oh, terrific. Sam, Bo just changed history. Now, his and Luke’s bodies are found at the bottom of a cliff about a mile outside of town.

THOMPSON: Well, then we’ll just have to hide you boys someplace nobody’ll ever find you. Move.

(Thompson’s partner motions Bo and Sam out the door with his gun. Fade to an exterior shot of Thompson’s car driving along the dirt roads of Hazzard. Switch to an interior shot of the silent ride while Sam thinks.)

SAM: (thinking) As Thompson’s partner drove Bo and I to our untimely deaths, the words Al said to me yesterday, “This seems like a nice, quiet town.” kept running through my head. In the hours since breakfast, it seemed as though everything Bo and I said and did changed history and created alternate timelines. I don’t think it was the situation itself that worried me as much as the fact that Bo didn’t seem fazed by any of this. It made me wonder if days like this weren’t just par for the course of living in Hazzard.

(Exterior shot of the car pulling up beside a cliff. Partner gets out and opens the back door to let Bo and Sam out. Bo gets out with his hands up. Sam gets out and suddenly lands a flying drop kick on Partner’s jaw. Bo runs around to the passenger side as Thompson gets out. Thompson pulls a pistol of of his jacket. Bo stops suddenly.)

BO: (grinning sheepishly) Y’all didn’t tell us ya had a gun.

THOMPSON: I didn’t tell you I didn’t, either.

BO: I guess it’s safe to say you don’t want me to take yer place on the pro circuit no more, huh?

THOMPSON: Kinda hard for a dead man to drive in a race, isn’t it?

SAM: You don’t have to kill us, you know.

THOMPSON: Oh, let me guess…if I let you two go right now, you won’t talk to the police, right?

SAM: No, I’m not saying that at all. But if you end this right now, the only charge will be kidnapping. You won’t have to add murder to it.

(We see Al standing just off to Thompson’s left)

AL: Unless the judge decides to get ’em for attempted manslaughter, too.

(Sam shoots Al a look)

AL: Sorry.

SAM: So, what do ya say?

THOMPSON: What do I say?….I say prepare to meet your maker.

(Just as Thompson cocks hit gun to fire, a green and white police squad car approaches from behind. The distraction is enough to allow Sam to jump over the car and knock the gun out of Thompson’s hand. He picks it up and points it at Thompson. The Sheriff driving sees what’s happening and screeches to a stop. The sheriff is a large black man in a green uniform and helmet. He throws his door open and quickly points his pistol at Sam.)

SHERIFF LITTLE: Freeze! Police! Drop that weapon, Duke boy!

AL: Do what he says, Sam. Bo and Luke can get in big trouble for posession of fire arms. And hopefully, this sheriff will take things nice and slow while I have Ziggy figure out who he is and how he knows Bo and Luke. (Al begins poking vigorously at the handlink).

SAM: (placing the gun on the ground) Sheriff, I’m glad you’re here. I want you to arrest these men on the charge of kidnapping.

BO: Yeah, and they was tryin’ to kill us, too.

AL: Uh oh, Sam. This is kinda mixed news, here. This is Sheriff Ed Little of Chicasaw County. That’s where we are right now. Sorry, I saw Thompson’s partner drive past that sign but I didn’t think it was relevant. But this Sheriff Little doesn’t like you and Bo. And now he just caught you breaking your probation by crossing the county line and holding that gun.

SHERIFF LITTLE: (Forcefully) So, let me get this straight. I catch you two Duke boys outside Hazzard without permission, holdin’ a gun on this man, and you expect me to arrest THEM? (Picks the gun up off the ground and tucks it into his belt) Alright, I want all four of ya in my car NOW til I get this all straightened out. And I’ll call Hogg and Coltrane about you two when we get back to my station.

SAM: But, sheriff, you don’t….

(Sheriff little puts his finger in front of his mouth to shoosh Sam.)

SAM: But we’re not the….

(Sheriff Little repeats the motion)

AL: Forget it, Sam. He’s not gonna listen. You better just get in the car.

(Sam puts his hands up to surrender. Bo does the same. They both get into the back of Sheriff Little’s car. Thompson and his partner walk toward the car. Thompson turns suddenly and punches Sheriff Little. Little is down long enough for Thompson and his partner to get back in their car and drive away. Sheriff Little stands and aims his gun at them.)

SHERIFF LITTLE: Stop or I’ll shoot!!

(Little shoots but misses. He gets into his squad car and starts the engine.)

SHERIFF LITTLE: Them two ain’t gettin’ away that easy! Buckle up back there, Duke boys! I don’t like takin’ damaged goods into custody!

(Al is in the passenger seat of the squad car)

AL: Boy, this guy’s all heart, isn’t he. Sam, just hang on for a minute while I try to get something useful out of Ziggy.

SAM: Do I have a choice?

(Sheriff Little assumes Sam is talking to him)

SHERIFF LITTLE: Not when you’re in my custody. Now, I know you two know how to outsmart Hogg and Coltrane, but if either of ya tries anything with me, this pistol will be pointed straight at your knee cap.

AL: You know, Sam, if it wasn’t you he was talking to, I think I’d actually admire that. (handlink squeals in Al’s hand) Ooo…we got something! Oh, terrific news, Sam. Ziggy says that Thompson’s bookie is in Capital City. He must be following him, thinking he’s gonna try and welch on his bet.

SAM: How much?

AL: (pokes at handlink and gets a shocked look) That’s a lot bigger number than I would have figured.

SAM: AL…

AL: ……Half a million. (looks at Bo and sees him giving Sam a strange look) Uh, Sam. Better keep your mouth shut for now.

SAM: (to Bo) What’s the matter?

BO: You’re goin’ squirelly on me again, Luke. Just like yesterday. Would you please tell me just what in the heck is goin’ on inside your head?!

SAM: Look, Bo, don’t ask me how I know. You’d never believe me. But Thompson’s bookie is in Capitol City. If we can manage to get Sheriff little and Thompson to follow us there, we should be able to find some kind of evidence that will get Thompson, his lacky, and the bookie thrown in prison for more years than they can count on their fingers.

BO: Well, that sounds like a great plan, Luke, but you’re forgettin’ one thing….

SAM: What?

BO: How are we gonna get Sheriff Little to follow us if we’re sittin’ in the back of his patrol car?

SAM: You just leave that to me.

(Switch to an exterior shot of Sheriff Little aiming his pistol at Thompson’s tires. He shoots, but Thompson weaves and dodges the shot. He fires a second shot, but Thompson takes a corner to the right and dodges again. Sheriff Little, frustrated and angry, aims very carefully, fires a third shot, and takes out Thompson’ left rear tire. Thompson’s car swerves off the road into a ditch. Sheriff Little pulls up behind it and gets out of his car)

SHERIFF LITTLE: (to Bo and Sam) You two stay put til I get through with them.

(While Sheriff Little deals with Thompson and his partner, Bo sees a familiar truck approaching from behind through Sheriff Little’s rear view mirror. He smiles and looks at Sam)

BO: Hey, Luke, I think your plan just showed up.

(Sam looks out the rear window to see Cooter’s tow truck approaching, towing the General Lee)

SAM: Actually, my plan was to take this car and make the Sheriff follow us to Capitol City. I think I like his (nods to Cooter) plan a whole lot better.

(Bo gives Sam a look like this was not one of Luke’s best plans)

BO: ….Yeah, me too.

SAM: Well, it’s not gonna take him much longer to arrest those two. Let’s go.

(Sam and Bo each slowly and quietly open their car doors and run back to meet Cooter.)

COOTER: Hey, Y’all!

BO: Cooter, old buddy, are we glad to see you!

SAM: How’d you know where we were?

COOTER: Well, I seen Thompson and his buddy takin’ y’all outta the Hazzard Hotel. And I seen ’em put you in their car. And since you two goin’ anywhere without the General don’t tend to be a good thing, I figured I’d better tail ya to make sure nuthin’ went wrong. And as long as I was commin’, I figured I might as well bring the ol’ General along for the ride.

SAM: Cooter, you’re a life saver. Listen, why don’t you just let the General down and we should be alright from here.

COOTER: What’s goin’ on with these two, anyway.

(Al yells to Sam from over by Sheriff Little’s car)

AL: Sam, you’d better hurry up! He’s about to notice that you and Bo aren’t in his car!

SAM: Cooter, we don’t have time to explain. We gotta get outta here. We’ll fill ya in later.

(Switch back to Sheriff Little arresting Thompson and his partner. He notices the back doors to his patrol car are open. He looks all around and finally sees the General Lee pull out from behind Cooter’s truck. Bo blows the Dixie horn as they pass him. Sheriff Little, now very angry, orders Thompson and his partner into the back of the car. He gets in and starts after the General Lee. Switch to a shot of Bo and Sam in the General Lee. Al appears in the back seat)

AL: Alright, Sam. This is gonna get a little complicated here, but you gotta pull it off. Ziggy says that Thompson’s bookie has his betting slip in the glove compartment of his car. Now, Sheriff Little may be mean, but he’s honest. If you can get that betting slip into his hands, he’ll get it into the hands of the state police and the whole lot of ’em…..Thompson, his partner, the bookie and his goon, they’ll all end up in prison for illegal gambling. Plus, if you can talk Bo into testifying, Thompsn and his partner will do time for attempted murder. But there’s one VERY important catch to all this….(Sam gives Al a worried look) you can’t let Sheriff Little catch up to you until you’re back in Hazzard. If he catches you in Chickasaw, Capitol City, or anyplace else other than Hazzard, he’ll arrest you and Bo for violating your probation.

SAM: (to Bo) Ok, here’s what we gotta do. Thompson’s bookie has his betting slip in the glove compartment of his car. If we can get a hold of that and get Sheriff Little to follow us back to Hazzard, we should be in the clear.

BO: Sounds like a pretty good plan to me, but y’all got any idea what the bookie’s drivin’?

AL: (pokes at handlink) Uh….it’s a grey sedan, license plate number 177-MMT, and it’s got a big dent in the left rear quarter panel.

SAM: Grey sedan with a dent on the side.

(Bo gives Sam a scrutinizing look)

SAM: Look, don’t ask me how I know all this. You’d never believe me anyway. Just keep your eyes out for that car. (to Al)…and see if we can find that bookie.

AL: Gotcha. Gooshie, center me on Thompson’s bookie! (Al looks like he’s listening to someone) How the hell do I know his name?! Ask Ziggy! Just center me on him fast!

(Al waits a few seconds, pokes at the handlink, and disappears. He appears in the back seat of the bookie’s car.)

AL: Alright, I got him. Now I just gotta figure out where we are.

(Al spots the General Lee approaching from the oppostie side of the road.)

AL: You gotta be kiddin’ me. (frustrated) I wish I could blow the horn or something. (pokes at handlink) Gooshie, center me on Sam!

(Al disappears and re-appears in teh back seat of the General Lee)

AL: Sam! Quick! That’s the bookie commin’ up on the other side of the road!

SAM: (pointing to the bookie’s car) Bo…

BO: I see ’em, Luke. Hang on!

(Bo makes a 180 degree turn in the road, cutting off the bookie’s car. The grey sedan veers off the road, hits a large log, and flips over. Switch back to the General Lee)

BO: We better make sure they’re alright.

SAM: I’ll make sure they’re alright. You stay here. We’re gonna need to make a quick getaway once I get that betting slip.

(Sam climbs out of the General Lee and makes his way to the sedan. He manages to open the passenger side door)

SAM: You two alright?

BOOKIE: Who are you? What’s the idea, runnin’ us off the road like that?

SAM: Sorry about that. But y’all got somethin’ I need.

(Sam opens the glove compartment and pulls out a stack of betting slips. He waves them at the bookie)

SAM: Thanks. The sheriff will be along in a minute to help ya out.

(Sam hears Sheriff Little’s siren getting closer and runs back to the General Lee. He climbs in the window)

SAM: I got ’em! Let’s get goin’!

(The General Lee peels out just as Sheriff Little arrives and makes a 180 degree turn in the road. He stops to talk to the bookie)

SHERIFF LITTLE: You two stay put! I’ll be back!

(Sheriff Little’s car peels out to chase the General Lee. Switch back to a shot of Bo and Sam in the General Lee)

SAM: Well, we got a pretty good head start on him. We should be able to make it back to Hazzard without any problems.

BO: You kiddin’, Luke? You forgot about that souped up engine he’s got in that thing? He’ll be back on us before we reach the Chickasaw county line.

SAM: Terrific. So how are we supposed to make it back to Hazzard?

BO: (grinning) Same way we always get away from Rosco.

SAM: (closing his eyes) Oh God. Not another jump.

(Bo looks out the side view mirror and sees Sheriff Little’s car)

BO: Ah. There he is. Just like I figured.

(Bo looks at the road ahead and smirks)

SAM: What are you gonna do?

BO: Well, there’s the county line just ahead…

SAM: Yeah, but Sheriff Little’s gainin’ on us pretty good.

BO: Yeah, he is. But there’s a real nice dip in the road right there. If I can hit that just right, we should sail clar over the county line, back into Hazzard. Once we’re there, he can catch up to us all he wants. There ain’t nuthin he can do to us.
SAM: Sounds kinda dangerous. You sure that’ll work?

BO: I can answer that question in two words, cousin….HANG ON!!

(An exterior shot of the General Lee hitting the dip and launching into the air. Switch briefly to Sheriff Little watching, then back to a shot of the General Lee flying over the “Welcome To Hazzard” sign. The General Lee lands flat on all four wheels and continues along the road. Sheriff Little hits the dip with only the right front tire and flies sideways, landing on the passenger side. The car looses balance and falls back onto all four wheels. Sheriff Little sticks his head out the window and waves an angry fist at the departing General Lee. Switch back to a shot of Bo and Sam)

AL: Sam, that was absolutely incredible!! I mean, it’s amazing this thing didn’t bust an axle making a move like that!

BO: (to Sam) So, where do ya figure we aughtta take the evidence?

(Sam looks at Al)

AL: Ziggy says your best bet is to find Enos Strate. He’s the local deputy, and he’s honest.

SAM: Well, why don’t we go see if we can find Enos? I figure he’s about the only real shot we got.

BO: You got it.

(Switch to the county booking room about fifteen minutes later. Sam hands Enos the betting slips. Al stands off to the side)

ENOS: Possum on a gumbush! Y’all mean to tell me that this Thompson fella tried to kill y’all over some silly little gamblin’ debt?

BO: That’s right, Enos. His bettin’ slip is in that stack someplace.

SAM: Right. And we figure Sheriff Little must have all four of them guys in custody by now.

ENOS: Well, I’ll hold these bettin’ slips as evidence til I can get ahold of Sheriff Little to come and get ’em. Meantime, I gotta get sworn statements from y’all. But given how serious the charges will be, I gotta do ’em seperate.

SAM: Don’t meantion it, Enos. Listen, I’ll wait outside while Bo give you his.

(Sam begins to exit. Al follows)

AL: …..Possum on a gumbush?

(Al follows Sam out into the hallway.)

SAM: Well, Al, I think we have a new contender for the strangest leap ever.

AL: (poking at handlink) Yeah, you can say that again. But what matters is, you did it. Thompson and his partner do twenty years for kidnapping and attempted murder. The bookie does five for illegal gambling….

SAM: What about the Dukes? Does everything turn out ok for them?

AL: Oh yeah. Absolutely. Bo still goes back on the Nascar circuit, but it’s not for a couple of years, and he does great. Wins just about every race he enters. Luke still leaves the farm, but he doesn’t disappear like before. He joins the forestry service as a smoke jumper. Daisy still marries L.D. but with Bo and Luke around to talk to, she gets out of it before it gets violent. She ends up going to…oh isn’t that poetic…DUKE University and getting her doctorate in ecology.

SAM: (chuckling) That’s terrific. What about the uncle?

AL: Oh, he’s fine too. Matter of fact, he lives to be a ripe old man. And the best part is, Bo, Luke, and Daisy all come back home for a big town reunion about two years before he dies. They all stay and help him with the farm like they do now.

SAM: That’s great, Al. But there’s just one thing that’s bothered me through this entire leap.

AL: What’s that?

SAM: Not one thing went the way Ziggy predicted it would. I mean, she said this whole thing wasn’t supposed to happen until tomorrow, but here we are and it’s all over. She said Thompson was supposed to be in Capitol City, but he ends up being on the same road we were. Thompson was supposed to be the one to approach Bo, but the commissioner and the sheriff did. I mean, what was wrong with her on this leap?

AL: Yah, I noticed all that stuff, too. I aksed her about it and she said “There’s just no way to predict what’s gonna happen next in a town like Hazzard.” Sounds like a cheap cop-out line you’d expect to hear from a narrator.

(As Al finishes, Bo enters the hallway.)

BO: Your turn, Luke. I’ll be waitin’ outside for ya.

SAM: You got it.

(Fade to a dirt road about ten minutes later. The General Lee drives past, from right to left. Switch to a shot of Bo and Sam in the General Lee.)

BO: Well, Luke, looks like the only racin’ I’ll be doin’ for a while is outrunnin’ Rosco and Enos. Woulda been nice, though, to get back onto that Nascar circuit.

SAM: Well, I wouldn’t give up hope just yet. Ya never know what might happen.

(Suddenly, we hear Rosco’s siren behind the General Lee. Bo looks in the side view mirror)

BO: Where the heck did he come from? He got a new speed trap we don’t know about?

SAM: Beats me but uh….I’m guessing you’re gonna try to lose him?

BO: (smirking) Wouldn’t wanna distrub the natural balance of things, would I? And, wouldn’t ya know, we’re right back at Dry Creek just like yesterday.

SAM: Are you gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?

BO: Well, cousin, let me put it to ya this way….

(Bo puts the gas pedal to the floor as the General Lee gets closer to the creek bed. Focus on Sam closing his eyes as tightly as he can.)

SAM: ….Oh boy…

(Just before the General Lee reaches the creek bed, Sam leaps. When the leap is over, Sam finds himself standing in the front doorway of a suburban home. He is wearing a bathrobe, pajama pants and floppy slippers. A little girl comes running from behind him, carrying a kids lunch box. She reaches up to hug and kiss him.)

MEGAN: Bye, Daddy.

(She runs toward a very modern-looking school bus parked in front of the house)

SAM: (confused) Bye bye…have a good day.

(Sam sees a newspaper on the cement path in front of him. He picks it up and reads the date.

SAM: May 18th (his eyes bulge wide open)…..2025?? (in a shocked whisper)….Oh, boy.

THE END

by: Marty Chrisman

Cyrus stood eyeing Luke with a critical eye. The duke boy had lost consciousness again after another vicious beating with the belt, reopening the previous wounds on his back and tearing the flesh to pieces. His breathing was labored and Cyrus knew he’d had about as much abuse as he could take. It wouldn’t take much more to kill him.

“We gonna finish him off, Paw?” Tommy asked in an excited voice. He had never liked Luke and he wanted to be the one to kill him. He’d already made sure he got his turn beating him and he’d gotten a thrill from hurting Luke. Now he wanted to experience the ultimate thrill. He wanted to look into Luke’s eyes one last time as he took his life.

“He’s already as good as gone…” Cyrus said. “All we have to do is cut him down and let the animals finish him off.”

Continue reading →

by: MacSas

(Thanks to my sister, Ruth, for her help with the ending. Great idea, sweetie!)

 

‘Duke residence, this is Luke’

Silence.

‘Hello?’

‘Luke?’

‘Daisy?’

“Yeah”

‘Girl, where have you been? It’s been months since we heard from you!’

‘Luke…I…I’m coming home’

‘Well, that’s great! Uncle Jesse is away looking after his friend Morris. He just had a heart operation, so Jesse offered to look after him and run the farm. You know Jesse, can’t resist a friend in need…’

‘Luke’

‘…Bo’s here though. He’ll be wrapt to see you home again. Course, Bo is still the same old Bo; nothing fazes him. You remember that time he was fixing shingles on the barn roof and he fell off? Broke his arm in 2 places but he still got back up there and finished the job…’

‘Luke, please…’

‘…Enos is back in L.A. But, of course, Roscoe and Boss are still here, running Hazzard the only way they can…’

‘Luke, I’m in trouble…’

‘…and Cooter … what!? Daisy, what did you say?’

‘I need you to pick me up from Capital City Airport. I fly in tomorrow, around 3pm’

‘Daisy, what trouble are you in?’

‘Luke, just be there tomorrow and I will tell you what I can.’

‘Daisy…’

‘I’ve got to go’

‘…Daisy…’

‘I love you’

‘Daisy, wait. What trouble? Daisy? Daisy!’

Only silence.

Continue reading →

by: Keith

October 5, 1984

ACT 3

(Fade In)

(The scene is the Dukes’ barn the next morning at dawn. Al appears next to Sam as he bails hay.)

AL: Morning, Sam.

SAM: Mornin’, Al.

(Al looks Sam up and down)

AL: Been up all night worrying about Bo, huh?

SAM: No. What makes you say that?

AL: Well, for one thing, you haven’t changed your clothes since yesterday.

SAM: (matter-of-factly) Yes, I have.

AL: (with one eyebrow raised) ….But it looks like….

SAM: I know. Luke has six shirts in his dresser, Al. They all look alike.

AL: They all look exactly alike?

SAM: (making deliberate eye contact with Al) To the stitch.

AL: Anyway, have you figured out what you’re going to do about Bo yet?

SAM: Not yet. I thought about talking to him right after Thompson makes the offer tomorrow. The only problem is, how do I explain how I know that he’s going to die?

AL: Yeah, you got a point there. (pauses to think) Hey, I got it. Bo and Luke are a team, right? So, what if you convince Bo to tell Thompson he’ll only go if you’re…uh, Luke is part of the deal? I mean, they made it pretty obvious that they only need one man. If Luke was there, it might spoil their whole plan.

SAM: On the other hand, they might do whatever they have to to keep Luke out of the way. They’re obviously willing to sacrafice Bo. I can’t imagine that harming Luke would be any burden on their conscience.

AL: Well you’d better think of something fast. You basically only have today to cinvince Bo not to take Thompson’s place on the racing circuit. He’s gonna show up here sometime tomorrow, and we have no idea when that will be.

SAM: (with a look of realization on his face) I got it! What if I just take Bo out of town for a couple of days? If he’s not here, he can’t accept the offer, right?

AL: That’s not a bad idea. Let me run it by Ziggy. (pokes at handlink) Uh oh. One of the terms of Bo and Luke’s probation is that they can’t leave the county without written permission from their probation officer. Care to guess who that is?

SAM: Don’t tell me….J.D. Hogg?

AL: Bingo. Besides, if Bo isn’t around, who’s to say Thompson won’t just find someone else to take the fall for him?

SAM: And I’d be sending them to die instead of Bo.

AL: Right. Listen, I’m gonna go back and talk to Luke again and see if he can think of a way to help you save Bo. And while I’m at it, I’ll have Ziggy run a few scenarios too.

(Al pokes at the handlink and the imaging chamber door opens behind him)

AL: I’ll be back as soon as I have something for you.

(Imaging chamber door closes, leaving Sam by himself. Fade to two hours later. Sam is in the Dukes’ bathroom washing up for breakfast. After drying his face with a towel, he sees Luke for the first time in the small mirror over the sink. He thinks to himself while he washes)

SAM: (thinking) The thing I’d always loved most about doing the farm chores back in Indiana was that they gave you plenty of time to think. This morning was no different. After two hours of trying to find ways to talk Bo out of going back to the Nascar circuit, it finally hit me that maybe the best approach wasn’t to prevent it, but to let him accept it and then find some way to get enough evidence to talk him out of it. The only snag would be finding a reason to tell everyone about why I was suspiscious of Thompson without causing Bo to suspect that I was just trying to ruin things for him. I just hoped that the Duke family unity was strong enough to allow them all to listen to Luke and trust his instincts.

(Sam walks into the kitchen and finds Uncle Jesse pouring himself a cup of coffee while Daisy cooks breakfast)

SAM: Mornin’.

DAISY: Hey, Luke. Whaddaya want for breakfast, sugar?

SAM: Whatever you’re makin’ is fine.

DAISY: (wincing slightly) I’m makin’ grits and molasses for Uncle Jesse.

SAM: (thinking) The expression on Daisy’s face, combined with the tone of her voice told me that grits and molasses was not on Luke’s list of favorites. I figured I’d better opt for something a bit more traditional. (to Daisy) Bacon and eggs?

DAISY: (smiles) You got it.

UNCLE JESSE: You kids don’t know good food when ya taste it. (to Sam) You was up aweful early this mornin’.

SAM: (shrugs) Yeah, I guess I was. I had a lot on my mind, so I figured I’d get an early start on the chores.

UNCLE JESSE: A lot on your mind, huh? Somethin’ you wanna talk about?

SAM: ….I got this feelin’ I ain’t been able to shake the past couple o’ days….

(Our view switches slighty to see Al standing behind Sam, to his left)

AL: You “ain’t been able to shake”? Sounds like someone’s merging with Luke.

(Sam jumps in his seat, startled by Al. At the same time Al speaks, Rosco’s patrol car pulls up with the siren blaring. Uncle Jesse stands and goes to the window to see Boss Hogg and Rosco approaching the house)

UNCLE JESSE: What in tarnation do them two want at this hour?!

(Switch to an exterior view of the house. Uncle Jesse and Daisy come out)

UNCLE JESSE: J.D.! What’s the big idea comin’ here at this hour and blastin’ that siren like that?!

(Switch back to the kitchen, where Sam and Al are talking)

SAM: Who are those two?

AL: Ah, that would be the comedy stylings of the local law enforcement.

SAM: What?

AL: Never mind. Listen, I’m here because I just got through talking to Luke in the waiting room and he’s pretty sure he knows how to solve this pretty easy.

SAM: I already figured out how to solve it. All I need from you is proof.

AL: What kind of proof?

SAM: Rather than trying to talk Bo out of accepting the offer when I have no logical reason he’d understand, I figure I should let him take it and have you and Ziggy find the proof I need of Thompson’s true intentions. Then I just show Bo the proof and he can back out of the deal. What do you think?

AL:….I think I like Luke’s plan better.

(Sam gives Al an aggravated look)

AL: And I’m glad those two are here, because they’re a big part of it.

SAM: What are they doing here, anyway?

AL: Well, if I’m right, they’re here to tell Bo about the offer.

SAM: You said that wasn’t supposed to happen until tomorrow.

AL: I also said that these small towns kept lousy records. And that guy in the white suit out there, he’s the county commissioner. He fits every stereotype of crooked small town law. So if he doesn’t want it recorded, it doesn’t get recorded. And if it doesn’t get recorded, we don’t know about it. and if we don’t know about it….

SAM: Ok ok…I get the idea. So how does Luke think we should handle this?

AL: Ok, according to Luke, despite the fact that Jesse and that Hogg guy out there used to be ridge runners together, there’s no love lost between them. And Bo or any of the other Dukes wouldn’t want anything to do with any deal that involved him. So you just gotta get out there before Bo, listen to the deal, and turn it down on Bo’s behalf.

SAM: Won’t Bo be a little upset about that?

AL: Well, Luke says he tends to be the voice of reason in the family. So if he tells Bo that he was just looking out for him, he might not be so angry.

SAM: (pauses to look outside) You really think that will work?

AL: (shrugs) I think it’s the best shot we’ve got.

(Sam exits the house to join the group outside)

SAM: What’s goin’ on?

UNCLE JESSE: Luke, J.D.’s here on behalf of a Nascar driver named Bob Thompson…

AL: Sam, Luke would know who that is, so you might wanna act kind of impressed.

SAM: (wide-eyed) THE Bob Thompson??

AL: I said “kind of impressed”, not like he’s the second coming.

BOSS HOGG: The very same.

SAM: What does a professional driver want with us? And more importantly, why did he come to you about it instead of finding us, personal?

(Bo comes outside and joins the group)

BO: Mornin, y’all. What’s goin’ on?

UNCLE JESSE: Uh, Bo, J.D. is here to talk to ya on behalf of Bob Thompson.

BO: Bob Thompson? (to Sam) Luke, ain’t he a driver on the pro circuit.

SAM: Yeah, he is. But Boss still ain’t told us what this is all about.

AL: Sam, I’ve never been so relieved to see you merge with someone.

BOSS HOGG: (overdoing kindness) Bo, I couldn’t be more pleased to bring you the news I got for ya right now. On behalf of the afore mentioned Bob Thompson, I’m offerin’ you the chance to officially wave your probation to take his place on the racing circuit.

BO: (confused) Take his place on the racin’ circuit? What for?

UNCLE JESSE: Uh, J.D. says Mr Thompson wants to retire next month, but his car’s doin’ so good this year that he doesn’t want to forefit his position in the roster. He asked all around the circuit and your name came up over and over as the best man to do the job. So now he wants you to finish the season for him.

DAISY: Waddaya think, Bo?

BO: Shoot, the offer sounds mighty temptin’. Waddaya think, Luke?

SAM: Well, for starters, I think I’d like to hear the offer straight from the horse’s mouth.

BO: Yeah, that ain’t a bad idea. Say, Boss, why don’t you let Mr. Thompson come out here and make the offer himself?

SAM: Better yet, why don’t you just tell us where Mr. Thompson is and we’ll go see him.

BOSS HOGG: Alright, fine. You just do that. He’s stayin’ at the Hazzard Hotel, room 12.

UNCLE JESSE: Alright, J.D., you got our answer. We’ll go talk to Thompson ourselves just as soon as we talk this whole thing over. Meantime, we got chores to do. Come on, kids.

(Uncle Jesse leads Bo, Sam, and Daisy back into the house. Boss Hogg and Rosco get into the patrol car)

BOSS HOGG: Dang blast it, Rosco! I almost had ’em!

ROSCO: I don’t get it, Boss. What are you so uptight about? They didn’t say no.

BOSS HOGG: Yeah, but they’re gonna. Rosco, what happens anytime them Dukes talk anything over?

ROSCO: They wreck one of yer little schemes and cost ya a bundle of money.

BOSS HOGG: (frustrated) No, you knucklehead, I mean besides that! They do whateva’s (with a disgusted look) best for the family. And we both know that Bo goin’ back on the pro circuit ain’t gonna be what’s best! I had one chance to get Bo Duke to take that offer on a snap decision and I lost it. (does his pouting routine)

(Switch to inside the Duke house as the family finishes breakfast. Al stands at the opposite end of the table from Uncle Jesse and is torn between listening to the conversation and staring at Daisy.)

UNCLE JESSE: Bo, you ain’t hardly touched your breakfast. You thinkin’ about that offer?

BO: Yessir. Somethin’ about it just don’t add up.

DAISY: Like what, Bo?

BO: Well, I’m real happy that Bob Thompson has so much faith in me that he wants me to finish the season for him, but the season’s only three more months. I mean, what could be so important about next month that he can’t just wait it out and finish the season himself?

AL: Here’s your opening, Sam. He’s doubting whether he should go or not. (the handlink starts to whale and screech wildly in Al’s hand) What the hell….?

SAM: (to Bo) Good question. I think you owe it to yourself to ask Mr. Thompson that when we see him.

AL: Sam, something big must have happened between that conversation outside and what Bo just said because we’re teetering between two timelines here, and Ziggy’s going bananas trying to lay odds on one or the other. (pokes at handlink and the imaging chamber door opens behind him) I’m gonna go give Gooshie a hand with this. I’ll be back as soon as we figure out what’s what here. (Imaging chamber door closes.)

SAM: Well, why don’t we head over to the Hazzard Hotel and see Mr. Thompson for ourselves? After that, maybe it’ll be a little easier for you to make your decision.

(Bo and Sam exit)

DAISY: Uncle Jesse, do you think Bob Thompson’s offer is on the up and up?

UNCLE JESSE: (shrugs) Hard to tell. Bo’s got a point about there only bein’ three months left in the racin’ season. On the other hand, Thompson may have his reasons for not wantin’ to wait that long. We’ll just have to wait for the boys to get back so we can find out. (Stands and starts picking up dishes) But until they do, we got chores to do. Let’s get these dishes cleaned up and get to ’em.

(Scene switches to Bo and Sam approaching room 12 of the Hazzard Hotel)

BO: Well, this is it. The moment of truth….

(Bo goes to knock on the door, but Sam grabs his arm to stop him)

BO: What’s the matter?

SAM: Ssshhhh….listen.

(Bo and Sam hear the muffled voices of Thompson and his partner from inside the room.)

PARTNER: Bob, have you thought about what you’re gonna do if this Duke kid turns you down?

THOMPSON: I’m not worried about it. But if he does, I got a whole list of retired drivers and wannabees I can put in his place.

BO: Luke, I’m likin’ this deal less and less every second.

PARTNER: But can any of those other guys drive like you?

THOMPSON: What’s it matter? They only gotta be good for one race anyway. We’ll be in the stands watchin’ them crash and burn instead of me, then it’s goodbye gambling debt….hello, Switzerland.

BO: Dangit, I knew there had to be somethin’ more to this.

SAM: Sssshhhh….keep your voice down. Listen, we can’t just walk away from this. You heard them. If they don’t sign you, they’ll just sign someone else, and that person will die instead of you.

BO: Yeah, you’re right. We better get back to the farm and let Uncle Jesse and Daisy in on this. Maybe they can help us think up a plan to stop ’em.

(Al appears next to Sam)

AL: Sam! You and Bo gotta get the hell outta here now!!

SAM: Why? What’s the matter?

BO: What’s the matter?….you heard them two in there!

AL: You changed history, that’s what was drivin’ Ziggy nuts. I don’t know what you said or did that caused it, but Bo never makes it to the Nascar circuit.

SAM: What happens instead?

(Thompson’s partner comes bursting through the door and points a gun at Bo and Sam.)

PARTNER: Hold it right there, you two!

(Al gets a distressed look on his face)

AL: You’re both about to get shot.

(Bo and Sam develop panicked expression and slowly put their hands up. Focus on Sam sighly heavily in defeat)

FADE OUT

End Act 3

by: Marty Chrisman

Night comes early in the swamp and it gets cold quickly as the sun goes down. Cyrus and his boys sat comfortably around the fire, while Luke shivered from the chill of the night air. His mouth was dry and parched but he doubted if they would give him anything to drink even if he asked. As long as they were ignoring him, Luke didn’t want to draw their attention back to him. He was still in a tremendous amount of pain from the beating earlier that day. He was also tired and hungry but he knew that sleep was out of the question. And he doubted if they planned on giving him any food. Luke was relieved when they went to sleep without hurting him any more, at least not for tonight.

During the night Luke had a new torment to deal with along with the cold. The insects and mosquitoes that swarmed around him, biting him and crawling over the open wounds on his back. The only thing he could do was jerk his head to keep them away from his face but the rest of his body was vulnerable and being bitten relentlessly.

            A shadowy figure watched from the dense foliage. The figure had been watching the camp site ever since the four men arrived. It was obvious that three of the men were there to deliberately torture and probably eventually kill the fourth man. It wasn’t the first time that someone had used the swamp to kill someone. It was the perfect place to leave a body. There wasn’t anything that could be done to stop was going on. Pulling the hooded cape that hid their features closer around them, the watcher disappeared back into the shadows.