by: Essy Jane

That night the boys went out to give the girls makeovers. We won’t concentrate on that though. You see, if we did, you might die of shock to see how good Jesse was at applying make-up. Who wants to see two girls getting gorgeous for crooks? Besides, there was something a little more interesting that was about to happen at the Duke farm. We don’t wanna miss the good stuff now do we?

Cooter walked into the house. He straightened his sleeveless shirt. You could see his muscles through it. Bo and Nancy-Lou were sitting at the table. They looked up at him and grinned. Bo was always a little bit nervous of Cooter. They’d been friends for years but ever since Bo asked for Nancy’s hand, well, Cooter began to treat him just a little bit differently.

It was always nice to have a visit with your family. Bo loved having Cooter around as much as he was. It wasn’t only good for him but it was really good for Jesse and Jo Anna. They got a chance to be with someone special. Someone who could direct them in the right place; Cooter was good for that. He made a lot of mistakes in his life and he wasn’t about to let his Grandkids make the same ones.

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by: Essy Jane

Welcome to Hazzard County, you may think it is a boring place by looking at it but looks can be deceiving. Like any place, Hazzard had its good times and its bad. It had neat people who were there to help and mean people who were only there to cause havoc.

Now if I had to sum up Hazzard County in one word it would be unexpected. Mostly because Hazzard County has more adventures and more interesting things happen than any place I have travelled to. Gotta love this County, folks. People stick together and act just like a family. Sometimes it is hard to be a family. Why? Well, you fight about your differences. You fight about your similarities. Sure, you don’t fight all the time. There are times when families stick together, helping each other through the thick and the thin. Helping you when no one else will even look at you; people, know that Hazzard would take you in and help you even if you were a total stranger.

Sometimes, a family takes advantage of you. Other times…well let’s just leave it at that. I could go on and on about families. But hey, as a Balladeer I am supposed to tell the story, not bore ya with it. Besides, if we keep talking like this we’re going to miss the main event.

There was a play going on, a play done by those 12 to about 33. It had been done every year since they wouldn’t let Perry into the production in junior high. Guess who wrote the script this year? Uh huh, it was Jo alright, that girl would write everything and anything. This time her theme was about peace and love. What better time to show that off than in the 60’s?

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by: Essy Jane

It wasn’t long before old Perry Coltrane was chasing the Duke boys. He had
been on their tail though since Jesse was allowed to drive again. Jesse made
the big jump as usual but so did Perry. “You know if he wasn’t Boss’ son I
would swear he could drive,” Jose laughed. As another dip in the road came
along and the General, Perry crashed.

“You know I think you’re wrong,” Jesse replied.

“I never knew how wonderful you were at driving until you couldn’t do it
anymore.”

“Well I am back and better than ever. However we have to get to the Garage
to work on that present I want to give to my dad.”

“You mean we, don’t you? I kept that car up when you couldn’t.”
Jose was finished school and worked on the farm almost the whole time. That
is when he wasn’t going to the tri-county Collage. Jesse was there too
trying to make the most of himself. Being 17 and 18 years old was going to
be a big challenge for the boys. As the boys pulled into Lilly-Rose’s Garage
she had a smile on her face.

“You finally came back for more huh?” Lilly laughed.

“Well I want to do this for Dad,” Jesse commented.

“Jesse, Bo is an awesome person. I wish I had him as a father sometimes.”
Jesse looked at Lilly-Rose and wondered what she was talking about. Her dad
was remarkable. Jose shrugged and got to work on the mustang, he didn’t want
to get in the middle of a conversation.

“Why, what is wrong with Jamie?” Lilly frowned. She didn’t know what to tell
her cousin. “You have known me a long time Lil, you can tell me.”

“He’s been very edgy lately. Since he opened up that new lawyer business
Dad’s been well…edgy. Mom tries to calm him down but sometimes it’s like…”

“I know how your Jamie is under stress. You know what he needs? He needs a
guys’ night out with just us. He’ll feel better and look better by the time
Jose and I are through with him. I just wonder who Boss Rosco got for his
men’s night celebrity speed trap.”

“You never know. I mean there were lots of stars supposed to be coming
through here.” Jose looked up at Jesse tapping his foot. He wanted some help
with the paint job of the newest member of the Duke family. General 2 as he
would be known. The paint was fresh and the confederate flag was brand new.
Today was Bo’s Birthday; he would be 47 this year. It took them long enough
to build this beautiful car for Bo but now it was finished. There was only
one thing left to do, test drive him.

Jose jumped in the regular General Lee and started up the engine. He looked
at his cousin as he jumped into the General 2. It was the exact same General
Lee only it was a mustang and it had a 02 painted on the door. Other than
those two minor elements speed and all was about the same.

“Where are we going?” Jesse asked. Jose smiled. He wanted to try to jump the
Generals over the ravine. That would be the greatest test of them all. If
the Mustang didn’t make it he wouldn’t be all too happy. Although when
you’re created by a Duke you should work out.

Over at the Duke farm…

Bo was working hard in the fields trying to get done. Every single time Bo
thought he was done Nancy-Lou would find something else for him to do. “This
is my birthday; don’t I get some sort of a break? I mean even a drive would
be good,” Bo commented.

“No, you will stay home and fix the roof. We have a small leak in it and I
am not willing for it to drip on my head. Besides that it’s your birthday,
you can’t drive, you have a birthday tomorrow,” Nancy commented. Jo Anna
laughed. To try to keep a Duke from driving is like keeping a duck away from
the water. Not something anyone wants to see I will tell you that now.

“Nanc, I really want to go driving!”

“Bo I said no, you fix that hole in the roof. You’ll drive later today.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying that to me! That ain’t right Nancy-Lou. I am
a Duke for heaven sakes.”

“What does that have to do with fixing the roof? Beauregard Duke, I want
you to get up on that ladder and do what you do best.”

“Mrs Duke I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. Thank goodness I love you
otherwise I wouldn’t be so sweet to you.” Bo grabbed his wife and kissed her
passionately. They released their lips and looked at each other for a
minute.

“That was great sweetie. Now can you fix the roof for me?” Nancy-Lou was too
persistent on this today but Bo didn’t mind it too much, she was his wife.
Bo took off his shirt and lied it down on the wood pile next to him. Bo
climbed up the rickety ladder and looked at the small hole in the roof. It
was patchable. It would take him about an hour or so to fix his own roof.

“Why couldn’t the boys do this?”

“They’re out running errands for me. Besides, you do a way better job.” Bo
knew that his wife was up to something. He wasn’t quite sure what was going
on for sure but his Nancy-Lou was crafty.

“Nancy-Lou you’re doing something and I don’t know what it is but I will
find out.”

“Not yet sweetie you’re smart but not that smart.”

“I am smarter than you think. The boys are doing something for my birthday
and you know I will see them if I go driving.”

“I am taking the fifth amendment.”

“What about not keeping secrets from your spouse?”

“That happens when you aren’t trying to prepare the best birthday that you
could ever see. I am not about to ruin it now. You know I wouldn’t try the
surprise party thing. I know you’re just too smart for that. So here’s your
birthday invitation by your shirt.” Nancy-Lou walked into the house and
smiled. She knew that her husband was a wonder man and was glad he was born.
For if it wasn’t for him they wouldn’t have such a wonderful life together;
not to mention the couple wouldn’t have their kids.

Bo climbed down the ladder after about an hour of finding holes and patching
them. The roof was really getting old in age. He walked into the house
leaving his shirt off and forgot all about the invitation.

He sat down and pondered about what he could do to the house to keep it
alive but not have it ruined. It had gone through many generations of Dukes
and hadn’t known defeat until now. The old house was falling apart before
his eyes. Bo wasn’t about to let that happen. He wanted Jesse’s kids and
maybe his Grandkids come here and see him in this house.

Hours later at the boars nest…

Jesse wasn’t allowed to drink yet Boss let him in. Jose ordered a big beer
that night and chugged it like he had been drinking for years. Jamie looked
almost depressed. He didn’t look like he was in the talking mood. He must’ve
been in an awful mood. “So tell me how you got Daisy to marry you. I mean
Enos and her were pretty darn close. How did you manage to get Enos away
from her?” Jose asked.

“Well that was quite the challenge. She didn’t want to marry me because she
proposed to Enos. Now by conversation I found out Enos had a love for two
women. Now one was my Daisy and the other was Roxanne Huntley,” Jamie began.

“Wait a minute, my daddy told me that Roxy hated Enos more than spinach,”
Jesse butted in.

“Only at first, you see, I made them meet up again. I made them sit down and
talk. Enos called off the wedding and said Daisy deserved better.”

“Enos is an amazing man isn’t he?”

“More that amazing Enos is one of the most incredible people out there. I
hate that he quit the sheriff business. But I hear that DJ wants to bring
some honesty back in.”

“That he does, DJ has wanted to be a law man since he was only a knee high.
I hope he makes it.”

“Can you believe that there is a Karaoke contest? But there’s a catch, we
have to sing older country.”

“You mean from the 1990’s?”

“Yes Jamie.”

“Bring it on!” Jamie went up there and sang his heart out. One of the ones
that he sang to Daisy, “Check yes or no”; of course people followed him but
couldn’t beat him. The prize was $100. Well they stayed out all night. They
even went to the local motel to sleep in. Not without telling Daisy first of
course.
Jose brushed his teeth with a freshly bought tooth brush. He looked at Jesse
who was jumping up and down on the bed. “What are you doing boy?” Jose
asked.

“It ain’t comfy enough so I am making it softer,” Jesse replied. Jamie
rolled his eyes and looked at Jose who was shaking his head. “The J
brothers, that’s what we are. I mean look at that all of our names start
with J.”

“How much of that buttermilk did you drink Jesse?”

“What? I ain’t crazy I just have a good attitude” Jamie laughed. They were
just too much for them. With that wonderful grin and that happy face both
Jose and Jesse were more than enough fun for Jamie.

“You boys need to catch some sleep you hear. I don’t want anyone to go
through the pains of tiredness when we have to get up tomorrow.” Jaime
looked at Jesse who was wide eyed.

“I don’t think that anyone should have to sleep tonight. It could be an all
night party if we wanted it to be. Jaime, when did you receive your first
kiss?” Jesse asked. Again Jose rolled his eyes.

“You dork! You sound like a girl at a sleepover,” Jose grumbled.

“Well I will tell you mine. Kimberly Fisher kissed me for the first time
when I was ten. Our braces got stuck together. We couldn’t get them apart
for anything. The janitor had to take appliers to them. Boy was I
embarrassed.” Jose looked at him in bewilderment and suddenly shrugged it
off. Jesse was Jesse and there was no other way to possibly explain it. He
wasn’t afraid of talking to anyone about anything. It was something that
made him special.
Jaime felt warm inside. There was something about being apart of that side
of the family that was amazing. He wanted this life to go on forever. Jaime
thought about his wonderful four children and his beautiful wife Daisy. Was
there any doubt that he had a wonderful life? Something in Jaime didn’t
realize how wonderful his world was until he came with two crazy kids to the
Boar’s Nest. Sometimes things just work that way.

“I am waiting for your story Jose,” Jesse commented.

“I will if it makes you shut up. My first kiss was when I was six. I had a
giant crush on my grade one teacher. I began to cry one day because I
skinned my knee. It didn’t hurt one bit but you think for one second I would
let a teacher that beautiful get away? Dream on. Anyway, she kissed my knee
and my cheek that day. I felt very lucky,” Jose answered.

Jesse started laughing. There was something about his cousin doing that
which didn’t surprise him one bit. Jose loved women very much. At first he
was sure that no matter what happened he could get any girl he wanted
including his cousins. Now Jose was working slower on his love life with
girls. In fact the young man was one of the most loved people in the
business.
“No one wants to hear mine,” Jaime mumbled.

“If we didn’t do you think we would be talking about this kind of stuff if
we didn’t want to hear yours. I mean you are the man that needs to talk
about this stuff the most. You’re the old fart here as my grandpa would so
gently put it,” Jesse answered.

“Well if you can picture a smile on a young woman’s face that is brighter
than the sun. I perfect luncheon on the beach with her. She looked at me
once and I knew that I wanted to kiss her. I guess it wasn’t the right
person though…I didn’t feel any magic from it. She doesn’t even compare to
Daisy. When I kissed her the first time I almost died trying to let go. You
have to promise me that you will wait for the kind of person that will be
your wife. When you get one like Daisy don’t let her go.”

“You’re right she is amazing isn’t she?”

“I guess when you find that girl that you want to marry you just don’t know
it at first. She is so wonderful and so…totally amazing that you just
think…you’re not good enough for them.”

“You are good enough for Daisy…believe me. I would never doubt that for a
minute.”

“Sometimes I do. I can’t help but think if she had married Enos. How lonely
would I really be?” Just then Jesse knew that he came to the real root of
Jaime’s problem. He wasn’t mad at anyone. He was just having some troubles.
Jaime was good enough for Daisy. In fact Jaime was more than good enough. He
was successful and smart. He was funny and wonderful all at the same time
and nothing could take from that. He wondered though if things would have
been different what would have life been like? Would he be on the road of
crime again? Jaime didn’t even want to think what happened back then. It was
too hard and too tragic for anyone.

As they fell asleep, the sound of rushing cars were upon them. It didn’t
disturb them one bit. In fact it relaxed them right to sleep. It was the
best feeling of their lives to be with their cousin. Nothing could take the
place of family no matter what happened.

Jamie walked into the house that morning with a smile on his face. He looked
at his daughter and one son talking at the table just laughing away.
Lily-Rose and Leo were the best of friends as brother and sister should be.
They shared everything with each other.

Jamie looked at his wife sitting there crocheting a sweater for the newest
couple’s babies. Jamie pushed back Daisy’s soft brown and sliver streaked
hair. He kissed her soft neck. “Wow you look like you have been hit by the
happy bus. I can’t believe it you are smiling from ear to ear. Now I must
say it is a wonderful change. What puts you in such a cheerful mood my
dear?” Daisy asked.

“Your cousins made me go out. We talked all night and sang and just had fun.
Guy stuff is the best stuff I have ever done. Those guys make me laugh. I
have never seen Jesse that hyper in my life. He had no sugar either…just
butter milk like Enos used to have. I didn’t think anyone liked butter milk
like Enos did. You know what, Jesse and Jose are good guys,” Jamie replied.

“I couldn’t disagree with you even if I wanted to. You know what they have
good people taking care of them. Nancy-Lou and Bo; I mean those two are
amazing together. I never thought that Bo would be that responsible in my
life. Now that I look at him I wonder if Uncle Jesse was the same way. Uncle
Jesse…god rest his soul, is one of the most amazing men I ever got the
chance to encounter with.”

“You know what? I am lucky to be brought into such a family. I just wonder
sometimes if you would be happier with Enos…or if he would be happier with
you. I guess I got you involved with me because well…I love you more than
life.”

“I know you mean that darling.” The both kissed.

Lily-Rose couldn’t help but get off of her chair and go to see those two
wonderful young men. How could it be that two guys such as them could do
such wonderful things? Lily was happy again as was her father.

Meanwhile at the Duke farm…

Bo was laughing at Jose. He had a big ice pack on his head. “My head feels
like it is going to explode,” He mumbled. Bo could remember the many
hangovers he had. That’s why Bo stopped drinking. Bo decided that if he
couldn’t remember what happened the night before then he might have been
doing stupid things like Coy and Vance did.

Coy and Vance were packing up in another room getting ready for a new life.
They were going to move out of Hazzard County just so they could make
something of themselves. Of course they would be missed but it was about
time. Coy walked out and put the suitcases on the floor. “Woe, Jose looks
like we did,” Coy commented.

“Don’t even get me started. I am never drinking again,” Jose exclaimed. He
held onto his head and tried to sit up. However it was very unsuccessful.

“You know that’s a lie.”

“No it isn’t. I had enough of that stuff.”

“No you haven’t.”

“Don’t you go and argue with a man that has a hangover that could scare all
of San Francisco.”

“He’s pretty dizzy.” That’s about the time Lily arrived. She got out of her
truck and opened the door, slamming it against the wall.

“Whoever just did that is going to pay the piper!” Lily-Rose laughed and
smiled at the two boys. She gave them both a hug one by one. Now I think
that’s pretty dang special.

“He’s himself again and I won’t ever forget that for as long as I live. You
boys are special and I love you,” Lily-Rose said.

“Well we owed you one,” Jesse replied.

“No way, you boys have always been there for me especially you Jesse.”

“Just trying to do my job. Anyway we got to head back to your garage
anyway.”

“Oh right, I almost forgot.”

“You would forget your head if it wasn’t screwed to your head. Come on Jose,
time to go.”

“Time to go, you think I can go with a headache like this? I mean you’re
spinning,” Jose complained.

“Well that’s your own fault,” Jesse laughed.

“Some friends you are.” With that they were all gone and now the real fun
was going to begin. Something always had to be done just to make sure that
Bo didn’t find out about this too fast. Bo always seems to catch onto
surprise parties and no, we didn’t want him to this time.

That afternoon Bo was working on more stuff again. His wife had kept him
busy the last three days. When the man got sick of working, Nancy-Lou would
give him a peck on the cheek and it would perk him right up. Bo was humming
an older tune he used to sing to Jesse and Jo Anna when they were little. He
sang it since it first came out. Jo Anna walked into the house with a dress
that went clear past her knee. Her hair was all done up nicely and she was
wearing make-up. Bo stood up at first sight of her not being impressed at
what she was wearing. There was no way he would let his daughter out of the
house in clothes like those. “What do you think you’re wearing?” Bo
questioned.

“Clothes Daddy just clothes. I am going to go on a date,” Jo replied. She
hated wearing dresses more than life but she was going to get her father to
be surprised at a birthday party yet.

“Not in that you ain’t, it’s by your butt!”

“Yeah, Joshua likes it like that. Now if you don’t mind I am going to go out
there and wait in the barn so your comments can remain in the house.” Jo was
a good little actress. She knew how to fool her father. Jo began to walk out
the door shaking her butt while she was at it. Bo swiftly popped up out of
the chair. He raced after his daughter.

“You never wear dresses that short. In fact, you never wear dresses at all.”

“I thought I would try it.” Jo Anna kept on course walking to the barn. She
didn’t want to come in contact with him while thinking her dress was that
short. Bo would rip her head off. She opened the barn door and Bo walked in
turning on the small switch to light up the barn.

“Surprise happy birthday Bo Duke happy birthday!” Everyone screamed. Bo
jumped, not expecting it at all. Nancy-Lou got him good this year. Bo
couldn’t believe it. Jo got some pants on and took the belt off her skirt.

“Okay, y’all got me this year I am sorry I doubted you all,” Bo laughed. The
music started and Bo smiled at his sweet wife.

“I told you Bo, you’re hard to surprise,” Nancy-Lou commented.

“May I have this dance?”

“Gladly my sweetheart.” Nancy-Lou linked arms with Bo. He took her out to
the middle of the barn and began to dance. Bo cradled Nancy-Lou closer in
his arms.

“Where are Jesse and Jose at?”

“Well they’re getting a birthday present that they’ve been working hard on.”
Bo smiled at his wife.

“You’re the only present I need today. Nancy kissed Bo on the nose. She
loved her husband more than life. Suddenly a horn was heard. It was the
usual General horn but it was weird, there was an echo after it. It was the
same horn at a different time. The song ended and Bo let go of his wife. Bo
walked out of the barn and saw the freshly painted mustang. He was in tears
as he read the writing on the car.

“Happy Birthday Bo, from Jesse and me,” Jose commented. He looked at the car
and couldn’t believe what the boys had done for him.

“How did you get the money for this?” Bo asked.

“Well I can answer that! We did odd jobs around Hazzard and bought the frame
for it. It wasn’t that hard to make Dad,” Jesse replied. Bo was speechless.
He couldn’t believe that he had a General again. The love for this car was
great as well. For this car was made out of love and no one could take it
away from him…not even fate itself could remove Bo from his General.
After all the guests went home, Bo decided to race his son and his cousin
Jose. It would be a long good one. Bo would win of course because well he
was smarter than the boys when it came to racing. Certain tactics you never
forget after you have been on a race track.

Bo loved his second cousin. He was a wonderful child. Jose was a great
person now, always helping others. Bo’s work was done however there would
always be another adventure for the Duke boys.

THE END
But this ain’t the end y’all, just wait for the sequel.

by: Essy Jane

Two days later…

Another parking lot, another place to sleep; Jose didn’t mind it too much.
He loved sleeping in the parking lot. The noise from the cars whizzing
through the streets seemed to help him sleep at night. With Jesse snuggled
up in the back seat they slowly fell asleep. This had been a long road trip
for both of them. They had a lot of fun. Soon they would be at home in their
nice comfortable beds.

Jose watched his cousin sleep wondering if he was going to be able to drive
tomorrow. Jesse had taken over the driving for most of the trip mostly
because he wanted Jose to relax. Jesse was always looking out for his older
cousin. He loved Jose with all his heart and didn’t know what to do with him
sometimes. Jessie had a great attitude that made people feel accepted. Jose
couldn’t help but love his cousin about that.

Jesse yawned and opened his eyes. “You still aren’t asleep?” Jesse asked.
Jose jumped he was sure that Jesse was asleep. His cousin could fool him
easily though. It made Jose wonder if he really was asleep all the times he
thought he was.

“You were awake the whole time?” Jose asked.

“I don’t fall asleep until you do. I don’t know why. I think it is something
to do with making sure you feel safe.”

“I have a question for you. Why do you always want to help people? I mean do
you feel you have to do it?”

“Jose, sometimes that’s what makes me a person, when I was younger I told my
dad that I was going to save lives one person at a time. That’s what I am
doing. I don’t want to do any less. I would throw myself over a bomb if it
meant saving someone else’s life. I don’t want anyone to suffer pain.”

Jesse was too giving of himself. Jose noticed at school that he would give
half his lunch away to people that never brought food to school. He would be
hungry but didn’t care. Jesse wanted to make sure everyone was fed even if
it was only a little bit. That’s just the way Jesse was. When he stepped in
front of the bullet, it was to save a life. He wouldn’t even wish his
enemies to be in pain or to be hurting.

Jose wondered on how he could do things like that. He had closed off his
heart for so long. “I want to do things too Jesse but I don’t know how. I
guess I try to but can’t seem to get the hang of it,” Jose finally broke the
silence.

“It will come to you. I know it will Jose. You will know that moment when
you have to help someone. Maybe it will be not helping them. But you will be
a great guy. I know you have it in you,” Jesse responded.

“Don’t be so sure. I don’t think I have ever had the potential to do well.”

“You are just as good as the next person now buck up and be good. Oh, and
get some sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“We should phone them to let them know we’re coming home.”

“That’s the best idea you have had all night.” Jesse smiled and drove around
the streets of Jasper. He really wanted to find that phone. Jose pointed out
the phone and Jesse pulled over to it. He reached into his pocket and pulled
out what little change he had. He was lucky to have found thirty five cents.
Jose reminded Jesse about doing a collect call. It was after 6PM so it
didn’t matter too much if the boys used it.

At the Duke Farm…

Jo was the only one home. She hated being so alone and missed her brother’s
weird sense of humour and her cousin’s strange behaviour. It didn’t seem to
be Hazzard without them. Jo looked at her watch and wondered when the adults
would get back from their dance. She was offered a few baby-sitting jobs but
Jo Anna would only think of what was missing. She hadn’t had a good time
since the boys were gone.

When the phone rang Jo walked to it at snail’s pace. She lifted the
receiver. “Hello, this is a collect call from Jesse and Jose, who else. If
you would like to accept please press one, one now,” The operator said. Jo
didn’t hesitate for one minute. She pushed the buttons fast.

“Where have you guys been?” Jo Anna screamed.

“Settle down. Look we’re coming to town as soon as we can. I missed you
too,” Jesse replied on the other line. Jose was laughing in the background.
Jo didn’t care. She missed everything about those two boys.

“You better be coming home. Can you imagine being smothered by six adults to
be careful and all that other stuff? It’s embarrassing. I mean I feel like I
am a pancake.”

“You’ll get used to it. Maybe we should stay up here a few days longer. This
seems like a good city. Well for the most part.”

“You better not. I miss the action with y’all around. I need that to
survive.”

“Okay we’ll be home soon I hope.”

“No, you will be home and that is that.”

“Alright, I have to say goodbye Jo Anna Duke.”

“Bye Jesse JR.” Jesse hung up the phone and looked at Jose. He hated being
away from his twin sister just as much as she hated being away from him. Now
it was back to their dark parking lot. It was a place surrounded by trees, a
good place to be hiding from police cars and whatever else might be going on
in the outside world. But they weren’t the only ones who thought that.

Jesse heard the screaming in the parking lot that night. The girl was
screaming for help and he couldn’t ignore it for anything. Jose pleaded with
him to just stay in the car. Knowing Jesse, his cousin’s advice wouldn’t be
any good to him. Jesse opened the door and slammed it. He walked over to the
trees where three men where beating upon a young woman. Jesse rolled up his
sleeves and cleared his throat. The three men turned at the sound. You could
see the clear red fire in the men’s eyes.

“Let her go!” Jesse screamed. The three men circled Jesse and laughed. But
Jesse wouldn’t back down for anyone. His eyes slowly turned to a pit of
black ice. He wasn’t willing for anyone to turn on poor young girls. Jesse
punched the biggest man, Shawn, in the face. The blood dripped from his nose
like a leaky faucet.

“You’re going down now little man,” Shawn said as he grabbed a baseball bat.
Back in the Neon…

Jose was ready to get out of the car and help. But the other two men took
the bats and wedged poor old Jose in the neon. The frame was too bent and
surely if he tried to get out one of the windows he would be shot. Jose
could see the pearl handled guns in their jackets. He swallowed hard and
hoped they wouldn’t kill him too.
All Jose could see from the car was the shadow of something being hit and
another shadow running faster than the wind. It must’ve been the girl; it
had to be. She wasn’t about to stay around. Now as they finally saw that
Jesse was down, all three of them huddled. The shortest grabbed something
from his pocket. It was a homemade bomb with a timer. Arshad attached the
bomb to the bottom of the neon and set it for one minute. That was enough
time for the boys to speed out of there.

Jose kicked on the windows in desperation. He couldn’t think about opening
it I guess that’s what happens when you’re afraid. Jose couldn’t think about
anything else except getting out. He didn’t want to be blown up but more so
he wanted to see if his cousin was okay. Jose had no time for this. He took
his fist and smashed it through the window without anything to cover it. The
blood trailed down his hand.
Jose didn’t care even if it hurt that much. He kicked the rest of the glass
away and jumped out. He ran as fast as he could but with the clock and 2 he
didn’t have a chance to steer totally clear of the bomb. Jose was flown
through the air. His clothes on burning; he rolled as best as he could.

He couldn’t fight the darkness or the loss of blood. Jose slipped into the
darkness. He had horrid dreams once more; mostly about his father going into
the twin towers and never making it out. He woke up screaming. His brow
chilled to the bone. “Where am I?” He questioned. Luke glanced at his son.
He was so happy to see him alive. After all, not seeing your kid for a few
days can be nerving.

“You’re in the hospital, just rest,” Luke replied. Jose lied back down and
looked at his father with huge eyes. The tears rolled down his face. Every
time Jose would have that dream he would wonder if Luke was killed when he
was there. But his thoughts were brought to ease as he saw Luke’s face.

“Jesse!” Jose finally remembered his cousin. Luke’s head dropped. He didn’t
know what to tell his son about the condition Jesse was in. “Dad I know that
look. Something is wrong and you are going to tell me right now!” That’s
about the time when Bo walked into the room. He smiled as he saw Jose. Bo’s
eyes were red from crying. He had huge bags under his eyes. They all looked
tired.
Luke left the room knowing by looking at Bo that he was about to tell Jose
the horrible news. “Jose, I know that you boys did some amazing stuff. You
have been wonderful together. Jesse is pretty bad. I know that you can sense
it by just looking at me,” Bo commented as he sat at the edge of Jose’s bed.

“I don’t want him to die Bo. I saw that boy hitting Jesse over and over. The
other two wouldn’t let me out of the car. I didn’t know what to do. How bad
is bad?” Jose rambled.
Bo took a deep breath. His eyes filled with the salty tears once again. He
wiped them away with his tan shirt and looked into Jose’s eyes. “Jose, his
hip bone is broken. He had to get his jaw wired shut. He was hit in the head
many times and they cracked his skull; internal bleeding and just plain old
damage. They told me he has a 50/50 chance of living,” Bo cried. Jose hit
his hands hard on the small table. The pain shot up his arms. Jose didn’t
care.
“Why didn’t I follow him?! He would do the same for me! I didn’t help him
Bo!” Jose screamed. Bo grabbed Jose and hugged him tight. He cried right
along with the young man.
“Jose! You couldn’t have done a thing. I know you would have but you were
scared,” Bo commented. That wasn’t enough for Jose. He had minor burns and
stitches. Jesse was scared. How could this have happened? They were so close
to home; so close to being back on that farm just working again. How come
Jesse always had to help people? Jose couldn’t stop thinking about that
screaming girl and the gun handles. He remembered their faces. These people
were going to pay, one way or another.
The days rolled by and Jose’s anger grew. He hated those boys and their
faces became more apparent in his mind. Jose picked out every detail of
their features right down the scar on Arshad’s forehead. Luke knew that
Jose’s heart was becoming cold once again and he didn’t know what to do
about it. It had become apparent that something was going to be done about
it. Jose was getting better by the day and more vengeful with each passing
moment.

He didn’t know what to do with his time. Finally he was going to go out and
kill them. Jose didn’t care how but he was going to get them. He threw off
his blankets and looked at the clothes that had been brought for him. He put
them on and ran out of the burn unit as fast as he could. Jose knew where to
find those guys; they were his kind of people before he came to Hazzard.

There they were standing on the street corner with a cigarette in one hand
and a smile on their face. Jose took out the street bought gun that was semi
automatic and flashed it in their faces. “Give me your weapons!” Jose
screamed. The boys dropped knives, bombs and guns, throwing them Jose’s way.

“What do you want with us man?” Arshad asked. He looked at the other guys.
They were all cowering behind their shivering leader.

“You tried to kill my cousin. What do you think I want with you? I certainly
don’t want you to live. He’s lying in a hospital while you pry on more
innocent girls.”

“We didn’t do anything to your cousin honest.”

“You must think I am an idiot or something.”

“No we don’t think you’re stupid. Just spare us please.”

“Why should I?”

“You’re a nice guy that’s why.” Jose’s fire in his eyes seemed to grow by
the second. He didn’t want them to see the light of day again. Jesse didn’t
deserve this at all. He shouldn’t have had to do what he did for that girl.
Jose wanted all of them to feel his pain. It wasn’t fair that they were fine
and that his cousin was hurt almost beyond repair. Jose couldn’t let it go.
He couldn’t let them have the pleasure of a free life. Luke rushed out onto
the street from the General Lee. He looked up at his son knowing that look
in the boy’s eyes.

“No Jose! You can’t do that!” Luke screamed.

“Watch me,” Jose replied. He held the gun closer to the boys. Luke glared at
his son knowing the capabilities of his young boy.

“Jose, I know what this feeling is like. My buddy got killed in the Marines
by Vietnamese soldier and I remembered that face and I shot him down. He had
a wife and three kids. I regret doing what I did.”

“Well you’re not me and I won’t regret this.”

“Yes you will, you just don’t know it yet Jose. You won’t know it until
you’re packed away behind bars or think about their families.”

“They almost killed Jesse!”

“You can’t count on that all your life as an excuse. What would he say if he
saw you doing this?”

Suddenly the words expressed by Jesse came into his mind and shot through
his head like a bullet. “You will know that moment when you have to help
someone. Maybe it will be not helping them,” Jesse’s voice reminded him.
Jose didn’t know what he meant about not helping people at first but now it
was plain as the nose on his face.

Jose was not supposed to help Jesse by killing these boys. Jose put down
the gun and fell to his knees. Luke snatched the gun from the ground and
held up the crooks with it. The police came and drug the gang away. All Jose
could think about was how he had done the right thing.

As he got back to the hospital Antonio was in his room. “Hey kid brother,
what goes on in your world?” Jose asked. Antonio kept his distance still
afraid of his brother. Jose still scared his brother something terrible.
However Antonio’s mom told him to see his brother and that is what he was
going to do. “Cat got your tongue Tony?”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my brother Jose?”

“What do you mean by that short stop?”

“You don’t talk the same.”

“What you mean like, get out of my way you jerk! I am not like that anymore
bro, people change.” Tony thought about that for a minute. He didn’t think
that Jose would ever change. That kid was destined to be the evil child of
the family. Tony didn’t think his brother would change. Many nights the
young man would worry about Jose.

“You could never change!”

“Antonio I know you’re hurting inside. I am sorry for everything I have
done. All I want is your forgiveness. Is that too much to ask Tony? I don’t
want to buy you. I want it to be from your heart.” Antonio wondered about
his brother. He could remember Jose breathing down his next as he finally
pushed him down the stairs. How many people can you trust that do things
like that? Luke was about to walk in the room but decided not to when seeing
the brothers talk.

“I know that you probably have tried to make small changes but…”

“They’re bigger changes than that bro. You don’t know what Hazzard has done
for me. But I will tell you one thing Tony, if you ever think life is going
to end, come here. If you ever feel that you can’t do it anymore, you come
and see me. I will show you there is more to life than everything in New
York.”

“I love New York. It is the best city in the world.”

“Yeah and this is the best County in the world. I want to show you how much
I have changed when we get back. I’ll take you fishing and driving and you
will have a great time.”

“Fishing sucks. I can’t believe you would even mention such an idea. I mean
you never wanted to go fishing before.”

“Not when you do it with the right person. Don’t worry about it; you will be
just fine and so will I. When I get out of this hospital I will show you
where the best places are.”

“You really have changed haven’t you? I mean you’re a hick.”

“I am not a hick.”

“You like fishing. You used to hate people that came from farms. I don’t get
you Jose, have you forgotten New York?”

“I am not a hick. Look, you have to live here in order to understand the
experience. I haven’t had this much fun in years.”

“Well I guess you’ll have to prove that. Jo Anna hasn’t done anything with
me.”

“Really Tony? I would have thought she would have wrestled you by now.”

“I haven’t had that kind of luck. I have been sitting there just looking at
the wall. No one has even given me a second thought. I mean I have just gone
to school and played my game boy. Those games can only entertain you for so
long.” Jose had to laugh. His brother was an interesting child. Jose just
had to take the time to get to know him. Antonio knew that things could
change between his brother and him. How much time would it take?

“Well I guess I can understand that.” Luke knocked on the door finally and
walked in. Luke didn’t have to say a word for his emotions were all on his
face. He loved his sons and seeing them getting along was the best gift he
could get. Luke brought them both in for a hug. Jose and Antonio both had
big smiles on their faces. The family was back together again. Though they
would head for New York later, this side of the Duke family was brought back
together.
Later that evening…

Jose walked into Jesse’s hospital room and sat down beside his cousin. He
didn’t know what to say to him at first. The doctors said he could hear
Jose. But the young man felt an eerie feeling talking to one that looked
like he was sleeping. The tubes surrounding Jesse scared Jose. He didn’t
like the looks of any of it.

“Jesse, I am sorry for what I have done to you. You’re so important in my
life and loosing you would be like loosing a part of my world. I did
something foolish today. I was ready to kill the ones that almost killed
you,” Jose said. Jesse slowly opened his eyes. He looked at his cousin and
moved his hand over towards his bowed head. Jesse runs his fingers though
Jose’s hair as the tears rolled down his soft cheeks. Jose couldn’t believe
it, his cousin was alive.

After a few days of rest and relaxation, Jesse began to write down what
happened. He wanted Jose to understand why he felt that he had to do what
he did. As Jesse passed the finished story to Jose, he smiled at his cousin.
Jose read the words. It was so well written that it took him back to that
night…

~In the parking lot~

Jesse got out of the car and straightened his jacket looking deep into the
girl’s eyes. To his horror she was from Hazzard. She had run away two months
ago stating that she was headed for Texas and then to Mexico. Her parents
were worried sick about her. Her name is Melody. The young woman couldn’t
understand why these men were going after her in the first place. They
encircled her and tried to get her. Melody tried to fight them off but they
were all too strong for her.

“Please don’t hurt me!” She exclaimed. That’s about the time when Jesse
cleared his throat.

“Get away from her,” Jesse commented as the five boys turned around to face
him.

“What’s your name man?” Arshad asked.

“I am Jesse! I am not going to let you hurt her.” That was the last thing
they would let Jesse say. That was when the baseball bat came out. Jesse
looked at the cold steel plated bat and wondered how he was going to get out
of it. Melody ran away as Jesse tried to defend himself with only his fists.
He swung at the boys and wondered desperately where his cousin was.

As the others left Jesse questions if they are going to kill Jose. He didn’t
want anything to happen to his cousin. Jesse tried to look at the Neon but
it was just out of his sight. “Jose, where are you?” Jesse mumbled to
himself. There was nothing that could prepare him for what was about to
happen next.

As the bat hits Jesse over and over he wishes his father was around. Arshad
laughs as Jesse is beaten into the ground. Jesse looks up to see Jose
rolling on the ground and tries desperately to reach him. But it is no use.
Jesse is just in too much pain. He couldn’t keep awake any longer. The
bright red vapour oozed through his eyelids and dripped off of his nose. He
couldn’t look at it any longer for Jesse felt tired. A mixture of dizziness
and loss of blood caused Jesse to faint.
Jose dropped the pad of paper and looked at the tube in his cousin’s neck.
He wished that it was him. Jose could handle many pains in life. He was
stronger then people gave him credit for. Jose took on illness when he was a
child. It was a tumour that grew on the back of his head. They removed it of
course and gave him lots of Chemo therapy. Luke could barely even look at
his son from how much he had to work. Maria stayed by his side as much as
she could but she was pregnant with her second son.

Jose sat back and thought about what Jesse had been through and still he had
a smile on his face. There was something about that kid that drove Jose up
the wall. Although at the same time he was sweet and kind.

“Jose?” Bo asked.

“Hey Bo, how are you? Jesse was just showing me how talented he is. You
should read this Bo, your son is amazing,” Jose replied.

“Have you been here all day?”

“Well of course. Do you really thing I would leave my cousin here all
alone?”

“Not a chance. You know your dad did some things like Jesse did. He risked
his life for a lot of people.”

“He still does. Dad just does it for a living now. I guess he couldn’t
become a farmer for that reason.” Bo smiled at his cousin Jose knowing that
he was doing wonderfully. Who would have thought that he was ever in trouble
in New York? Now he was calm. The change that was brought on in so little
time; it was remarkable.

by: Essy Jane

The drag race was ready to commence. Jesse had large chains on his tires to
keep him from slipping. With one week of practice, he was ready to drive on
the ice. Jose didn’t even want to get in the car in case Jesse got any
ideas. He loved to jump things and in this weather he would probably kill
himself trying.

LB got behind the wheel and looked at Jessie sitting behind the wheel of his
other prized car. Jesse crushed his two lips together. He was shivering. “It
ain’t that much different from the weather you were in,” LB laughed.

“Well you try going from warm to hello its cold!” Jesse grumbled. Jose had
to laugh.

“I’ve been there. Mexico to New York, try that,” Jose retorted.

“Let’s stop griping and get some racing done.” Jesse revs up his engine and
smiles. They were off around the mountains and through the snowy terrain.
Jesse was working as hard as he could not to get stuck in the black ice
patches. The more he tried the more he did it. LB was laughing as Jesse was
eating his flying snow. Quick turns by both were seen. Jesse and LB’s eyes
were glued on their destination. They wanted to win.

Jesse decided that the only way to win was to fly. He just hoped that this
baby had the shocks for it. Jesse took fate into his own hands and somehow
managed to use a dip in the snow bank to fly. He let out a big Yahoo and
smashed down onto the ground with a thundering crash. Jesse was fine and as
was the car.

LB’s grin exceeded past his face. He knew he was going to win this one as he
made a quick U turn. Jesse did the same following LB as best he could on
little speed. That was the key to not blowing up. Jesse didn’t care anymore,
he had to catch up. He was doing great too that is until he found that his
breaks were out. Jesse couldn’t stop and ended up crashing into a rocky
cliff. Jose went to his aid while LB didn’t notice. He finished the race and
looked back seeing Jesse in the car. LB got back into the car and drove over
to where Jesse was.

“You okay kid?” LB asked.

“Yeah, I could do it again if you would like,” Jesse replied.

“I think you had enough for one day. You did well out there young man. It’s
a shame that you didn’t win. You did your best though and that’s what
counts.”

“I really do want to do it again.”

“Too bad Jesse, we’re going home and that’s the last word. Holy hot hanging
sausages, that was amazing driving!” LB knocked Jesse in the back of the
head and smiled at him. Jesse deserved some recognition. After all, he did
go against a very experienced driver.

“You know, I think it’s time we go home. I mean our parents will be worrying
their heads off about us,” Jose commented. Jesse knew that it was time too.
Now with the end of the race and the start of a new one they would travel
back to Hazzard.

Jesse was all packed up and ready to go home. It was a long way to Georgia.
Jose took out the maps and looked through them all. “Jess, come here,” Jose
said. Jesse walked over to his cousin and looked at the maps.

“Well we’re going to have to go through quite a few places to get home. I
think the best way to go is down. At least then we’ll get some warm weather.
We will head towards New Mexico and then from there we’ll go to Georgia,”
Jesse said.

“This will take us days! Why couldn’t we just fly out of here?”

“Well smart guy we want to keep those boys out of harms way. So that’s the
only way to do it like it or not; I can’t change what is going on.”

“Well you know what? This stinks Jesse. I don’t want to do this anymore. I
want to get back to Hazzard.”

“So do I, I miss feeding the animals and I am very worried about my dad.”

“Bo’s okay, my dad on the other hand is going insane right this minute. He’s
nuts when he worries. Dad thinks about all sorts of things. He worries when
they don’t lock the doors.”

“Okay, we will travel from Laurel to the great state of Wyoming, without any
potty breaks. We’ll take turns driving and get there in no time. That way
you won’t have to worry so much about Luke. I know how much a worrier he is
too you know.” Jose smiled.

“Let’s get moving Jesse.” The boys hugged LB and thanked him for all the
work he had done. Everything was ready to go. The gas in the tank was filled
to the heap with Gas. They began to get on their way.

“So where are we going Jesse?” Jose asked as they kept on driving. Jesse
pointed to where the maps were.

“We got to get back but why not have some fun while on the way?” Jesse
replied. He knew that Jose would like that answer. Jose looked at the map
leading out of Montana to Wyoming. They were really going to do a road trip.

“Are we going to sleep anywhere?”

“Yeah, we’re going to sleep in the car. I don’t want to waste our money. You
know that credit card in your pocket?”

“Yeah I remember Bo giving it to me. I wondered why he would do it too.”

“It’s got money on it too, just not as much as mine. Dad would never let us
go without cash. That’s how he knows we’re still alive. He’ll get a bill.”

“Won’t he beat us senseless for using so much money?”

“Why do you think I am doing my best on keeping the cost of things down? I
don’t want to use too much otherwise he won’t trust me with money again.”
Jose looked at the long stretch of road. Jesse turned left and looked at
this girl who was trying to hitch hike. Jesse was about to pull off when
Jose stopped them.

“What are you crazy? Rule number one, never pick up hitchhikers. You could
get in big trouble for that.” Jesse rolled his eyes. He didn’t believe his
cousin. That girl looked like she needed help. But Jose knew otherwise. She
could be a person who would rob people of all their money.

Meanwhile at the Duke farm…

Luke and Bo were feeding the animals. It was something Bo was sure would
help his cousin. He wanted to get him feeling good again. Jose was an
amazing person and even though Bo didn’t know him as long as Luke did he had
a special love for the teenager. Jose was just as amazing as any kid Bo had
ever come across as was Jesse. Those two together made up a unit. “Are you
feeling any better cousin?” Bo asked. Luke stared at Bo and wondered why he
would ask such foolish questions.

“You know Bo, I was sure I was over Hazzard County but being here brings
back so many memories. You know, I am glad my son got to go here and
experience what I did,” Luke replied. He wasn’t about to let his cousin in
on his feelings right now. Luke knew that by sulking he would just feel
worse.

Nancy-Lou came out of the house and looked at her husband. She was happy
that he was doing better today. Without Jesse, Bo was just as sad as Luke
but knew that his son was coming home. In Nancy’s hands were two tall cool
glasses of lemonade. “I thought y’all might be thirsty,” Nancy commented as
she handed each guy a glass.

“Thanks Nancy-Lou, you’re amazing,” Luke replied.

“I hope it tastes that good.”

Back on the road, seven hours later…

Jesse was not tired at all from driving he was listening to blasting country
music. This though was annoying the heck out of Jose. He didn’t want to even
listen to the sound of country music. No one really hated country music as
much as Jose. Jesse was determined to change his mind on the subject. But
his cousin was hard hearted in a lot of ways. Jose wasn’t pulled into a
crowd easily. Although at the same time he would do anything to be accepted.

Jose couldn’t sleep anymore. He got up and stretched. Jose looked around at
the houses and many people walking along the streets. Jose wondered if they
were ever going to get home. He wanted to just embrace his father and show
him that he was okay. “Where are we Jesse?” Jose asked.

“We’re in Cheyenne. Are you hungry Jose Duke? We could eat some of the food
right now or save it for later. It’s up to you,” Jesse replied.

“We could have a sandwich now I suppose. LB makes a mean peanut butter and
jam on white bread.” Jose reached for the basket of food and pulled out two
sandwiches and un-wrapped the plastic wrap. He handed one to his cousin and
took a bite out of the other one.

They kept driving right along looking at all the sights as they went. The
long stretch of highway was amazing. Jose wondered if it was ever going to
end. He wanted to get back into the General Lee. He didn’t like Neons at
all. They were one of the worse built cars as far as he was concerned.

There were all sorts of signs directing them to the next town. It wouldn’t
take them long to get there at all. Trinidad would be the next bathroom stop
for the two boys. They had to keep driving if they were ever going to get
home. Jose opened up the window and stuck his head out. “What are you
doing?” Jesse asked.

“I am hot!” Jose barked back.

“Well I could turn the air conditioning on if you feel that hot.”

“That thing makes me too cold. There’s nothing like cool air on the face.”

“Don’t blame me if you swallow a bug.” Jose didn’t care as long as he felt
better. The day passed on easily and slowly. Jesse was kicking back just
listening his country music full blast. He loved every single oldie out
there. Jose brought his head back into the window as he saw a truck in the
other lane coming along.

“Jesse?”

“Yes Jose?”

“What was Jo like when she was a kid?”

“What’s with this fascination with Jo all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know I want to get to know the person behind Jo Anna. I kind of
want to make peace with her when I get home. This fighting has gone on long
enough. Well there’s one last fight we have to win. I think we are going to
now with the stuff we learned at Joan’s restaurant.”

“Yeah, we’re going to show her that Duke Boys can cook. So what do you want
to know about my sister?”

Jose thought for a minute. He thought about how his childhood was. It wasn’t
the best in the world. Luke and Maria weren’t the richest people in the
world but they got by just fine. Maria gave vocal lessons when Luke went to
work. It got them more money.

Luke tried his best to give his son a good life. It was hard considering
Jose did the opposite of everything Luke said by the age of 10. The young
man discovered himself at a young age and found that he could do things with
other people that made him feel good. Drinking became a part of his life
like it had been for Coy and Vance. He started drinking at 14 years of age.
Jose skipped a lot of school and barely made the grades. But those days were
over now. Jose knew that if he did it again this time he would be tried as
an adult instead of a youth.

“Earth to Jose Duke, can you hear us Jose?” Jesse said as he snapped his
fingers. Jose came out of his daze and looked at his cousin. He almost
totally forgot he was talking about.

“Sorry Jesse, I guess I was thinking too much. I guess when you have a past
you do that,” Jose replied.

“What do you mean?”

“I know how Coy and Vance felt. They couldn’t seem to do anything right for
anyone so they turned to something to make them numb, alcohol.”

“I wonder if Daisy has forgiven them yet. It’s not fair to keep going at it.
I mean if I did that to you how far would we be right now?”

“If it wasn’t for you I would’ve been shot dead somewhere. You are amazing
Jesse. I hope that you never change.”

“Thanks, I hope you don’t change right now either. This male bonding thing
is great. You know what if I ever get home I am going to tell everyone how
great these trips are and recommend it to all of my friends.” Jose laughed.
They kept on driving onward. There was nothing that would stop them now.
Jose and Jesse were the original odd couple when it came to friends.
Together they were stronger than any force. However apart they were almost
like nothing. Though they did have their good points both got into big
trouble often.

“So, what’s next on the list of things to do?”

“Teach you how to play basketball.”

“I know how to play basketball. You don’t have to teach me anything. That
was the one thing I did do with my dad.”

“Well obviously he’s rusty or you’re not good at learning new tricks.”

“I got on the basketball team.”

“That you did, I am only teasing.”

Back at the farm…

Luke made that jump once more as Sheriff Cletus was chasing after them. “You
know Luke, you’re handling him way better,” Bo commented. Luke smiled as he
took another piece of the long winding dirt road.

“You were right, this does make me feel better,” Luke replied. There was
Hazzard pond again. Luke had to jump it. Up the General went. It seemed like
he was climbing into space that’s how high he was jumping. The General Lee
really knew what it was doing. Cletus on the other hand was having problems
again with the old patrol car. Once again the poor piece of junk splashed
into the water.

In Boss Rosco’s office, an hour later…

Cletus was standing there dripping on the floor while Rosco was giving him
one of his usual lectures. “You know what? I am sick and tired of all of
these pond exper-expid adventures. You cost me a fortune in car repairs!”
Boss Rosco complained.

“Those dang patrol cars are so old. Don’t you think that we should get new
ones? Like maybe something like the General?” Cletus asked.

“You pea brain! Jit-jit oooh you are one dumb fella. I ain’t letting you get
your hands on something like that. I’m going to get you boys a good car. The
choice of car is a 2002 Hyundai Elantra, two used ones. I am saving one for
your deputy when you get one.”

“Buzzards on a buzz saw! Geeze thanks Boss.”

“Just get out of here.”

“One question Boss. What are you going to do with the old patrol cars? Are
you going to thrown them away?”

“That is two questions.”

“Sorry Boss, I am out of here. Don’t let me bother you.”

“Don’t worry, I have already learned how to deal with your stupidity and it
ain’t even lunch yet Khee.” As Cletus walked out young Perry Coltrane walked
in. Boss Rosco was in no mood to deal with his son. After listening to
Cletus babble on and on nothing could prepare him for this moment. His son
straightened his shirt and looked his father straight in the eye.

“I want to be a deputy,” Perry said as he sat down. Boss Rosco began to
laugh and laugh. As he looked at his son’s face. Boss could tell he was
serious. His son couldn’t be a police officer, he was too ditzy to even hold
a gun let alone hold a police job.

“Good luck passing the coarse,” Boss replied.

“Daddy I can do it.”

“I need proof my son. I need you to pass that course with flying colours and
also keep your mother away from me. I mean honestly, how much can one man
take of a selfish blonde?”

“You’ve been doing it for years.”

“You will have to learn Perry that sometimes men do things for good looking
women. Like for instance, sleeping in separate beds and looking at novels of
other beautiful people.”

“That doesn’t seem right.”

“Nothing is nowadays. Keep that one in mind son, keep that in mind. I don’t
ever want you to think these things are good. But you know what? I got a lot
out of it. You are the greatest son that I could ever have in this world and
I love you more than life.”

“Thank you Daddy.”

“No matter what happens while you’re a deputy I will always love you. You
big screw up, very big screw up that is.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing Perry my dear sweet son it means nothing at all.”