by: Marty Chrisman

The boys were in their room getting ready for bed. Luke and Shelby had shared the news with the family that she was expecting twins. Everyone was a little surprised but happy for them. They also told them that the ultra sound had shown that it would be a boy and a girl. Jesse had seemed more pleased than anyone at the news. He loved babies and it was about time that there was going to be some new life in the old farmhouse. But he was old fashioned enough that he secretly hoped that Luke and Shelby would decide to get married before the babies were born.

Luke sat down on his bed to pull off his boots when Bo glanced over at him and said, “Hey, Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you feel when you found out that Shelby was pregnant?”

“Surprised….shocked” Luke said choosing his words carefully “And I guess a little scared.”

“How do you feel now?”

“Still about the same…but kind of excited too.”

‘It’s a pretty big thing, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s a real big thing.”

“Did you ever think that it might not be yours?”

“No….I just knew it was.”

“Do you love Shelby?”

“I don’t know…” Luke admitted inhaling deeply and letting the breath out slowly “I think I could….if she’d let me get close enough to try.”

“Do you think she loves you?”

“I don’t know…she said she did in her letter but she sure doesn’t act like it most of the time.” He looked at his youngest cousin with a thin smile “What’s with all the questions all of a sudden?”

“I’m just curious that’s all.” Bo said “I mean, I like Shelby and all….it’s just kinda weird that she’s back and she’s pregnant and it’s yours.”

“Yeah…I know”

“Didn’t ya use something like Uncle Jesse also told us to?”

“No….and that’s my own fault.” Luke admitted uneasily.

“Are you sorry….about the baby, I mean.” Bo asked

No…” Luke paused gathering his thoughts. He wouldn’t have felt comfortable having this conversation with anyone except Bo. It was too personal and Luke tended to avoid talking about his feelings or his personal life much to anyone besides Bo. “It’s hard to explain….I wish it hadn’t happened this way…but it did and I can’t change that. But I have to be man enough to admit that I made a mistake and take responsibility for that.” He sighed softly “That’s why I asked Shelby to come here…I wanna be part of this child’s life and this is the only way I can be right now.”

“Do you think that you Shelby will ever work things out between the two of you?”

“I hope so…..not just because of the baby but because I really do care about her.” Luke flashed Bo a grin “Now shut up so we can go to bed.”

Bo grinned back and rolled over on his side, facing the wall. He knew he had gotten as much out of Luke as he was going to get for one night. Bo found himself wondering if he’d be able to handle the situation as well as Luke was if he was in Luke’s shoes. But then Luke always had been more level headed and serious than Bo was. That was what balanced them out in their own relationship.

Luke turned off the light on the nightstand between the two beds and lay there staring into the darkness, lost in his own thoughts. He tossed and turned restlessly for over an hour before finally deciding to get back up for awhile. Sleep wasn’t coming easily tonight.

Quietly he slipped out of bed and opened the bedroom door. He went out into the hall and down the stairs.  In the kitchen, he made a pot of coffee and poured himself a cup when it was done brewing. He slumped down at the kitchen table with his legs stretched out in front of him. A few minutes later Jesse came wandering into the kitchen. Luke carefully hid a smile. Jesse always seemed to know when one of them got up during the night and always came to check on them.

“Can’t sleep?” Jesse said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down at the table with Luke

“No”

“You wanna talk about whatever’s bothering ya?”

Luke would like to know how Jesse always seemed to know when something was bothering one of them. And he wondered if he’d be able to do the same thing with his own children someday.

“It’s Shelby.”

“Kinda figured that.” Jesse said “You two got an awful lot going on right now.”

“She keeps trying to shut me out, Uncle Jesse…” Luke said thoughtfully “And I can’t figure out why.”

“Have you tried asking her?”

“Not exactly.” Luke admitted “Every time I try to talk to her about anything personal…she puts up this wall and cuts me off at the knees.”

“What do you think the problem is?”

“I wish I knew.”

“Then all you can do is keep asking. Maybe she’ll tell you sooner or later.” Jesse said. He looked at his oldest nephew with a thin smile “But try to be a little sensitive…”

“I am sensitive” Luke said defensively

“Maybe…but when a woman gets pregnant she tends to get a little contrary and you have to treat her about like you would a skittish mare that don’t wanna be handled.”

Luke laughed at Jesse’s choice of words. “With Shelby it’s more like a bobcat with it’s paw caught in a trap….you gotta be careful not to get too close.”

“Well,” Jesse said shoving himself to his feet “It looks like you got your job cut out for ya taming down that bobcat.” Luke smiled thinly as Jesse headed back to his room.