By: Hilery “Scoot” Davenport
Edited by: Hoss
“Cooter, come on, let’s get this done!” Hilery shouted as she jumped out of the pickup. She grabbed the containers of paint as Cooter grabbed the hoses and such. The sun was starting to go down now, and so they worked on into the night, knowing the car would be dry by morning. Hilery was in charge of painting, Cooter did the engine, and he was astounded at what she had done.
While he was examining the motor and replacing the hoses and other parts that Hilery had taken off, he was looking at her like she was nuts. She had done an amazing job.
Hilery painted into the night. She just wanted to get all the panels the same color so she could get the car out on the road: she could worry about a better paint job later. Thankfully, due to her recent graduation, there wasn’t any school the following day.
The paint scheme was teal, a pretty one at that, with a pale pink pinstripe along the side. The pink was so pale that it looked almost white.
At about 3:00 am they finished and went to bed, but were up again at the rooster’s crow. Hilery got up and fixed a very fast breakfast, then ate. Cooter joined her. They had spam and eggs for breakfast because neither wanted cereal. When they finished they were out the door, knowing Rosco would be there soon to see if Hilery had come home.
“Cooter, I think I’ll take Jumper for a test drive while I’m running,” she said proudly. You see, Hilery named the car Jumper because she loved to jump creeks as much as the Duke boys. After giving her cousin a hug she climbed into the driver’s seat.
VROOM! The engine sounded wonderful as Hilery revved it hard. Cooter was impressed. Hilery was responsible for most of the work on the car. He had replaced the interior the day before while she was out, and it had a rich leather scent, but that was about all he could claim credit for. She was thrilled.
“Cuz, call the Dukes and have them meet you at the best fishing spot Hazzard has to offer. I’ll meet you guys there after I’ve tested this baby out and got her hidden away safely.” She then put the Shelby into drive and was off in a spray of brown dirt. All Cooter heard as she disappeared was a huge ‘YEEHAW’.
He walked over to his tow truck and picked up the mike. “Breaker, breaker, this is Craaaaazzy Cooter coming at you, are any of you Dukes home on the Hazzard Net, come on.”
“You have Lost Sheep here Cooter, what you need?” Luke said into the CB microphone in the kitchen.
“Luke, meet me at the best fishing spot in Hazzard.”
“10-4”
Cooter smiled as he got off the CB and climbed into his truck.
Hilery drove past speed trap number two at 90 miles per hour, knowing there would be a deputy there. It was Enos. As she whizzed by, the speed of the Mustang shocked him. Her plan was to play around for a while; see how the Shelby maneuvered, but she couldn’t do that with the help of Hazzard’s Finest, so when Enos pulled out, she slowed down and gave him a chance to catch up. Hilery took a very twisty road, slowing down to about sixty. The car hugged the curves like it was on rails.
“Sheriff, this is Enos, I need help over here on Vive drive. I’m in pursuit of a teal Shelby Mustang. I don’t know who’s driving, but they know the terrain. The windshield is tinted and whoever’s driving went by too fast for me to make a correct identification. Heck, I can’t even tell if the driver’s a guy or a gal.”
“Enos, I’ll be there in a minute. Cletus -” Rosco barked over the airwaves. “Get your fanny over to Vive Drive now, or else you’re fired!”
“OK Rosco, I’ll be there in a few.”
Soon Hilery had all three patrol cars in tow. The car was handling like a dream. She barreled down the most crooked roads in Hazzard, but it did little to slow her down. She went even faster on the straight-aways. On those she topped 75 mph, just slightly slower than when she flew by Enos, but only because she didn’t want to lose them. The patrol cars topped out at about 70. Soon though, she almost did lose them. She decided to play a little game of cat and mouse so she did a 180 and flew past them going in the opposite direction. Rosco and the others turned around quickly and were soon following her.
About 15 minutes later she was nearing old Pontiac Bridge when a wicked smile flashed across her face. The bridge was out, and the Dukes and Cooter were right next to it. She would not only drop Rosco and his deputies, but startle the Dukes as well. What fun!
While all this was going on, Cooter was at the shore of Hazzard Creek with the Dukes explainin’ the situation to them. The highlights were: Hilery was in trouble; Boss and Rosco were pinnin’ the sheep rustling on her, and they would probably be blamed for helping her.
Suddenly they heard the beep of a horn. It didn’t have a tune or anything, but it had a nice tone. Cooter knew then to get away from the creek, though he didn’t warn the Dukes who were wading and fishing. You see, Crazy C had tested the horn last night and so he knew the sound. A teal bullet shot across the sky above the Duke family, gracefully soaring overhead. Bo and Luke just fell over backwards in shock. They got up, completely soaked, just in time to see Rosco, Enos, and Cletus fly overhead, and land one after the other in the creek.
Bo and Luke fell down again when the white Plymouth Furys hit the water. This time it was the waves caused by the splash, not shock, that pushed them to their rears, and boy was it a funny sight. Now they were wet and covered in mud.
Hilery turned Jumper around to face the group. No one could see the driver because the windows were tinted, as you already know. Only Cooter knew the driver’s identity, and what was going on. The Dukes watched as the teal car backed up, turned around really fast, and sped out of view.
“Don’t just stand there! Help me get my dang patrol car out of this creek,” Rosco yelled. The Dukes all turned and faced the three drenched police officers. “Jit Jit, Bo, Luke, what happened? You both look like you went and took a bath with your clothes on!”
“Actually, the person driving that Mustang got us too. They jumped right over where we were fishing and we lost our balance.” Luke told them, shivering. For May, the weather was cool and the water was still very chilly.
“Then you guys come along, land in the creek, and wind up knockin’ us down again,” Bo shouted. He was a little mad. The jumps over the creeks were more of a Duke trademark.
“Anyhow,” Daisy started, “Why were you chasing that car?”
“Easy, it sped through my speed trap doing 95 mph!” Enos told them. They all looked at him questioningly.
“It’s true, when we were chasing it, it peaked 75 on the straight-aways, then turned around and came at us!” Rosco said.
“But you should have seen it handle those curves! It hugged the curves so tight you would think it was the General Lee with one of you Duke Boys behind the wheel,” Cletus said. Bo and Luke looked at each other: they were going to have to find that car, and challenge its driver to a race. There was no way they were going to lose their status as being the best drivers in Hazzard without a fight. Jesse knew what Bo and Luke were pondering, but he also knew there was more to this than met the eye. Cooter seemed to have known the car was coming over the creek by air, not turnin’ down the joining road and taking the other bridge just downstream.
Finally all three patrol cars were out of the murky water. The Duke family offered to give the Hazzard Law a ride back into town while Cooter fixed their cop cruisers.
“So, Rosco, Enos, Cletus, tell us more about this fast-as-lightning car,” Luke asked them. He wanted more information.
“Well, it went so fast we couldn’t tell who was driving, in fact, we couldn’t even tell if it was a man or a woman. It passed us like a huge teal streak, like the General, only the General is orange.” Rosco replied.
“Well, I don’t think Cousin Boss is going to be too happy we all wrecked our patrol cars again.” The lawmen all slouched at the mention of the County Commissioner. Boss would be mad as a bull seeing red when he found out. What made things even worse was that Hilery still hadn’t been caught for the sheep rustling.