By: Hilery “Scoot” Davenport
Edited by: Hoss
After a long drive the group finally arrived back in town. Rosco slowly walked to Boss’s office and knocked on the door. Enos ran downstairs to mop the floor, and Cletus, well he was just too chicken to even go into the police station, preferring to stay outside writing phony tickets instead.
“Who is it!”
“Boss, it’s me, Rosco.”
“Come in, come in,” Rosco opened the door as he was told to, “Rosco, please tell me you caught that Davenport girl.”
“You see Boss, I didn’t catch her. We was out looking for her when we started chasing a teal Mustang that none of us had seen before. The Mustang flew straight over Hazzard Creek and, well, me and the rest of the department kinda went into it. The Dukes gave me a ride back.”
“Oh really. Well Rosco, the repair bills are coming out of your paycheck!”
“Jit jit, Boss, that isn’t fair. But I was thinking when I knocked on your door-”
“Rosco, I thought I smelled burning when you came in. Now what is it you thought so hard to come up with?”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea to just blame Hilery for all this. She wouldn’t be able to do it alone and some people are going to figure that out.”
“Rosco, now I am scared, you actually thought of something very important.”
“I did Boss?”
“Uh huh. Think JD, think!” Boss said, pacing back and forth. Then he got an idea he hoped would get rid of the Dukes and that Davenport girl all together.
“Rosco, what do you say we make it look like Bo and Luke were accomplices to the thefts?”
“Ooo Boss, that is such a great idea! But how do we make them look guilty?”
“Easy you nut brain, we put a few of the stolen sheep in their barn!”
“Great idea Boss, but how do we get the Dukes away from their farm again?”
“Rosco, here’s what we are going to do to get them away…”
The Dukes were just sitting down to lunch. They were all hungry, but they didn’t think they would be able to eat much. The teal Mustang was still on their minds. Jesse had fried up the fish the boys had caught earlier, and he had fixed some soup to go with it.
“Can someone pass the bread please?” the eldest Duke cousin inquired. Daisy passed the bread to Bo, who gave it to Luke.
While the Dukes were getting ready to feed themselves, the Davenports were pulling up. They were hungry, and Cooter could smell Jesse Duke’s cooking from 10 miles away. Both of them were starving, and it wasn’t funny. The only funny thing was that Hilery could eat almost as much as her cousin and never gain an ounce.
Bo was the first to notice the new arrivals, bringing them to everyone else’s attention by saying, “Look who decided to join us.”
“Oh boy, it’s Hilery and Cooter. I bet Rosco is still after her too.”
“Knock Knock, anybody home?” Hilery yelled cheerily. She loved Bo Duke ever so much, but was so scared to tell anyone. She wanted to sit right next to him, but sitting right across from him was just as good. That’s where she normally sat when she and her cousin ate at the Duke Farm.
“Come on in you’s two.”
“Thanks Uncle Jesse, mind if we join you?”
“Not at all Cooter. Hilery. Why don’t the two of you pull up a couple of chairs and fill your plates.” He was in a mostly pleasant mood, so for once he didn’t correct Cooter calling him ‘Uncle Jesse’.
“Can I say Grace if it hasn’t been said yet?”
“Well of course Hilery, why not.”
“Thanks Uncle Jesse.”
“Dear Heavenly Father, bless this meal before us, and thank you for keeping us all safe. We all ask you for a bountiful harvest, and to help me get out of trouble. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
“Amen.”
“Hey Hilery, why don’t you pass the pepper?”
“Sure thing Bo. Go long!” Bo just looked at her like she was crazy, she got up, moved back some, and pitched the bottle at him.
“I didn’t… ask for… you… to… throw it,” he tried to say between sneezes.
“You said ‘pass the pepper’, so I passed it. If you wanted me to hand it to you then you should have said ‘please hand me the pepper.’” Everyone just laughed. She had taught Bo a small lesson, a lesson he wouldn’t forget anytime soon because the pepper bottle had hit him on the forehead, coming open when it made contact. It had gotten all over him.
Although he found it funny, when Jesse finally gained his composure he wasn’t happy. Hilery had been warned before about doing stupid stuff like that. She knew not to throw stuff at the table, and she knew what Bo had meant.
“Hilery Ann, you are to get off my property for the rest of the night.”
“But sir,” she laughed, “Bo did say ‘pass the pepper.’”
“Cooter, take her home, she needs some discipline.”
“But Uncle Jesse….”
“I ain’t your uncle, Hilery Ann.”
“Dang Hil, you are in trouble. It isn’t like Uncle Jesse to call you by first and middle names, especially twice in a row.” Daisy told her. Normally Bo would have said it, ‘cause he is the one to do so, but he was still sneezing.
“Bo, come on cousin, let’s get you cleaned up. Bye Hilery,” Luke said.
She walked out the door, followed by Cooter who had been apologizing for his cousin’s actions. They climbed up into the tow truck and were gone. Rosco arrived a few minutes later, just missing the Davenports.
“Luke, don’t tell me that’s Rosco.”
“OK, it isn’t Rosco. Just his patrol car pulling up on its own.”
“Thanks, now let’s get out of here before he tries to pin that sheep rustling on us,” Bo responded, bolting toward the door. Luke followed a few steps behind him. Rosco saw them, and allowed them to get to the General while he waited patiently. Then, as soon as the car moved, he took off after them.
It was just after the boys took off that the phone rang. It was Boss. He wanted Daisy to come in and work on her day off, and he needed to talk to Jesse about raising the mortgage payments on the farm. Neither was happy at the news, and they both immediately went outside and jumped in the Jeep so they could go and straighten things out with Boss, face-to-face.
The boys drove along the Pond Road, speeding along quickly. Neither had noticed Cletus and Rosco switch places somewhere along the line.
Meanwhile, Rosco and Boss Hogg’s assistants had arrived at the farm with, as you might have guessed, a truck with some of Mr. Cranston’s sheep. The exact total was five of the twenty that had been stolen. Rosco excitedly got out of his police cruiser and walked up to the truck to survey everything. The driver and his passenger looked out the windows and into the mirrors to see what the sheriff was doing. As usual Rosco was covering his tail and checking they’d brought the right sheep so Boss didn’t jump down his throat.
“Joel, Buck, get over here on the double!” The men walked up to the sheriff. It would figure that one of the men was the one Hilery had beaten up the other day. Pointing to the back of the truck, then the barn, Rosco continued, “Take those sheep and put them in the main part of the Duke barn. Tie them to that there rail where the mule is tied, then git out of here.” Joel and Buck went right to work. In only a few minutes their task was done and they were ready to leave. They piled into their respective vehicles and were gone, each in a different direction: Rosco after the Duke boys for the fun of the chase; the baddies off toward Mr. Cranston’s place to kidnap more of his ewes and rams.
It was about that time that Jesse and Daisy had started complaining to Boss.
“JD, you had better not raise that mortgage payment. We had an agreement; you wouldn’t raise our payments any higher. We had even spit and shook on it.”
“Yeah, and Boss, you told me I could have today off because the beer shipment got stalled.”
“Alright, let me check my records here to see if you’re both being truthful.” Boss quickly looked at his watch. His associates should have had enough time to do as he’d asked with Rosco watching. Hopefully, he thought, Rosco hadn’t fouled things up.
“Ah, here we go, it seems you are right, both of you. Jesse; we did have an agreement, spit and shook, about not raising your mortgage. Daisy, I am so sorry, but you are also right; we are fresh out of booze. Now out, both of ya. I have business to attend to,” Boss said, shuffling through his papers once more.