by: Essy Jane

Here we are, about to witness Bo’s plan. Now we have seen a lot of Luke’s plans but not too many of Bo’s. So watch closely now. Deke and Tate went to Cooter’s garage after he didn’t come home. Daisy was planted there for the best show of her career. Yep, not only was she running the garage today but she was about to do some shuckin’ and jivin’ that would knock your socks off.

The two noticed her working on the cars in her little famous Daisy Duke shorts. She looked up from the car and smiled. “Why hi there boys, what can I do for you?” Daisy asked.

“Do you know the person who runs this garage?” Tate questioned.

“Well shoot no, not very well anyway.”

“What is not very well?”

“Oh he’s been in Hazzard for a long time. I have lived here all my life.”

“So you are friends?”

“With Crazy Cooter Davenport, a nice gal like me? Not a chance.”

“But you know him?”

“Who doesn’t know Cooter? He fixed my car a few times. I am a friend of his Daddy’s. I came here when he got sick and couldn’t come to work.” Now if you know Cooter, you know his Daddy lives in Texas right now. Uh huh, them bad guys didn’t know him all that well.

“He wasn’t at home either.”

“Oh, that old place?” Daisy looked left and right. She signalled them to come closer. “Oh well I ain’t supposed to say it but he’s staying somewhere else because of that girl friend of his.”

“Girl friend.”

“Uh huh, you heard it from me first. Miss Essy can kill a bull right off its hind legs.” Tate began to laugh.

“You’re saying Cooter Davenport is afraid of some country gal?”

“Oh you ain’t ever met Miss Essy before. She’s tougher than nails. You ain’t seen the muscle on that girl. She usually works on a farm by her self.” Daisy gasped. “Uh oh, here she comes now.” From across the street you could see Essy-Jane storming over to Cooter’s garage. She looked Daisy right into the eye.

“Where is Cooter?” Essy-Jane screamed. She wasn’t too bad at this acting stuff either. Daisy’s eyes widened.

“Uh…” Daisy began. Essy banged down on the car hard. She pushed back her red hair and glared at the two crooks. She growled. “Look Essy, he’s taking a sick day. His Daddy…”

“I ain’t gonna ask again. I saw him with Mary-Jo last night. Don’t think that she got away with this either.”

“Essy you didn’t…”

“No, but she won’t be going around Cooter anymore.” Daisy gasped. Essy shook her head. “Oh don’t play games with me. I know Coot’s Daddy knows where he is. You are friends with his Daddy, now don’t play dumb with me Daisy!”

“Okay, you better not hurt him. You promise?”

“I promise.”

“I don’t want to see you in trouble.”

“You won’t Daisy girl, you have my honest promise.”

“As a Tizdale?”

“You better believe it.”

“You remember where Rosco caught him for selling moonshine?”

“Uh huh?”

“That’s where he is.”

“Alright, I’m going there right now.” Essy ran across the street.

“Whelp, gotta go ma’am,” Tate said to Daisy. They both hopped in their car, not noticing Luke and Uncle Jesse following in the pickup. There was no way this plan could fail, unless Essy couldn’t drive.

Essy-Jane picked up her CB receiver. “This is Messy Essy coming at ya loud and clear, open up your ears and you will hear, Messy Essy calling lost sheep two, do you hear me come on?” Essy began.

“This is lost sheep two, I’m in position and in my gear over,” Bo answered.

“Well I got myself a convoy comin’ your way so be prepared to get in here come back.”

“This is the rear of the convoy calling Messy Essy. You better be careful. Don’t take any unnecessary risks,” Uncle Jesse cautioned.

“Shepard, I ain’t gonna get into any traps.” You would think this plan was gonna go perfect but friends, this is Hazzard County. The only thing that really ever goes perfect is Uncle Jesse’s cooking.

Who would be around the bend but Rosco? Yep, that man could be accounted for in every event. Poor old Rosco wasn’t involved in this plan at all. If he somehow caught the boys speeding or anything that would involve sirens, ol’ Bo’s plan would be ruined.

As Jesse saw Rosco, he knew they were gonna need some help. “This is Shepard calling Bo Peep, are you there honey?” Uncle Jesse asked.

“This is Bo Peep coming to you loud and clear,” Daisy answered.

“I know you know what road we’re on. Bo gave us all the scoop.”

“I sure do but what does that have to do with the plan?”

“How fast can you get here in the General?”

“Pretty fast Uncle Jesse, I am a Duke.”

“Git over here pronto then, Bo Peep”

“Why?”

“We need to loose Rosco.”

“10-4 Sheppard on the way.” Daisy pulled off a cover on one of the cars in the garage, The General Lee was ready to go off into battle. Daisy rolled across country and found the little convoy going up the road. Now, how could Daisy get Rosco’s attention without waking up the whole neighbourhood?

She finally got an idea. “This is Daisy calling Cletus, are you in honey?” She asked.

“Yeah Daisy, I am come back,” Cletus replied.

“Honey, Bo’s behind Rosco and he’s going to look for Boss’ still up in the mountains.” Daisy turned the General around. “I just thought I would warn you. I don’t want to get Rosco in trouble.” Daisy stepped on the gas and began to speed away. Well you know old Rosco wanted to make sure that still was safe otherwise Boss Hogg would have his head.

Who would you chase, a ground troop or a mad bomber that could cost you everything? Uh huh, that’s no contest. Daisy turned the station back to six. “Hey Bo peep, this is Messy Essy, how in the world did you get him to follow?” Essy asked over the CB.

“Easy, Bo found his still,” Daisy answered.

“Nice one.”

“Now he’s following me to Hazzard pound.” Uncle Jesse laughed. Luke patted him on the back.

“And you said theys were gonna get themselves in trouble,” Luke laughed. He sighed as he looked at the car racing behind Uncle Sam. Luke shook his head softly. “I guess we both have to remember how strong willed Tizdale and Duke women are.”

Uncle Jesse chuckled softly to himself. He eyed the CB and finally picked it up, cradling in his aging hands. “This is Sheppard calling Messy Essy come in,” Uncle Jesse said over the CB.

“Messy here, come on,” Essy replied.

“We’re coming on check point number one.”

“I see that Shepard.”

“Well Miss Messy Essy you should be careful.”

“I hear ya Shepard.”

“Keep your peepers open for Davenport. He should be coming out the minute you knock on the door.”

“10-4 Uncle Jesse.”

“I ain’t your Uncle Jesse!” Uncle Jesse growled softly to himself.

“Yes sir Uncle Jesse.”

“Girl, what did I just say? Enough people call me Uncle Jesse, I don’t need you to start.”

“Yes Unc—I mean Jesse.” Luke tried not to laugh but you know boys. Luke let it slip. Well sir, my good friend Jesse clipped ol’ Luke in on the back of the head, lovingly of course.

Essy pulled off in front of a small run down old shack. She climbed out of the window and pulled her hair back in a ponytail. This is it, Essy thought to herself. She put on her sunglasses and took a deep breath. The young woman knew this had to be convincing. She knocked on the door as if in a rage.

Essy made her body straighten up as squeezed the upper part of her body, which in turn made her face go bright red. After all, red heads are known for their crimson angry face when they’re awfully furious. “Cooter Davenport, I know you’re in here!” She yelled. Essy shook her head wildly. She kept banging on the door.

“Shepard this is lost sheep number two, get ready for operation full stop,” Bo said.

“10-4 little Boy Bo,” Uncle Jesse answered. Luke started up the pickup and drove off. Now don’t worry y’all, for all those Luke lovers, you will see him again.

As Essy continued to bang away, the door opened. She ended up banging on his chest. She didn’t think of stopping at first, after all, she thought she was bashing the door and not some guy’s chest.

I bet you’re wondering whose chest. Well I’ll tell ya. There stood a very recognizable man. Blue jeans, a dirty tan shirt and a yellow head. The shirt’s sleeves had been ripped right off of the shirt. Now, if you don’t know the person who wears this shirt, I reckon you need to come to Hazzard County more often.

Essy stood in front of him, yelling and hollering something terrible. He took it too like he had nothing to say. Inside the strange car, Deke and Tate were laughing. “Man that woman must really have him on a leash,” Deke commented. He got into the driver’s seat and she into the passenger’s seat and they sped off.

Deke and Tate followed with great interest. Uncle Sam was going a bit fast for them but they were following the tracks. Tate had learned all about it in prison.

About half way down the road, a pickup flew into their way of travel. The small car slammed on the breaks and halted to a stop. Tate flew into the back of the pickup. Uncle Sam had already stopped. Deke got out of the car first and then Luke.

“Look fella, what’s the meaning of this?” Deke asked. Tate pulled himself out of the back of the pickup. They both stared at Luke with no emotion on their faces.

“Well sorry but I saw a car with a flat tire,” Luke answered. He stood up straight and put one hand on his hip.

“This car didn’t happen to have an eagle on the trunk did it?”

“Why as a matter of fact it did.” Uncle Jesse was pretending to be asleep. Luke took a glance over at him and giggled. “Man, Pa can sleep through anything.”

Just then, Tate and Deke pushed Luke out of the way. They went around the pickup over to Uncle Sam. There were a set of blue jeans under the car. The cowboy boots were moving back and forth. “Alright Cooter, we’ve got you now,” –Tate said as he took out his gun—“You better come out from under there now before I shoot your girlfriend. Don’t think I don’t mean it!” Tate took the safety off.

A pair of hands came out from under the car. His knees bent as he slid himself out from under the car. Tate and Deke’s eyes widened as they saw the face. Uh huh, it wasn’t Cooter after all, I never said it was now did I? You just assumed.

“You!” Tate screamed. The young man took off the hat and wig. A big mop of blonde hair slid out.

“Yep that’s right, it’s me. Thought I was dead didn’t you?” Bo said with enthusiasm.

“You know, I eat people like you up for breakfast.”

“Yeah and I fool people like you after breakfast.” Tate aimed the gun at Bo’s head.

“I outta kill you right here and now.”

“In front of witnesses, you wouldn’t dare do that now would you?” Tate growled. Luke walked over to his cousin. He stood beside him. Now Deke took out his gun.

“Then we’ll shoot you all,” Deke said. Bo and Luke kicked the guns out of their hands. The two men fought with the baddies for a minute when they heard a shot gun loading.

“Put them up,” Jesse said. Deke and Tate did as he said. Luke pulled out some rope from the back of Uncle Sam and tied them up. Now there was a reward for these two. Bo and Luke knew that if they gave them up to Rosco, he would collect the money.

The reward was one thousand big ones. They gave some to charity and used the rest to pay the mortgage. When Cooter finally got back to the garage, he had a surprise for the Dukes. “Y’all, when I saw this, I thought it would be the perfect thank you,” Cooter said. He rubbed his hands together as he pulled a sheet off a big object. It was a new engine. Bo let out a big yee-haa of course. He began to walk over to it when Luke stopped him.

“Cooter, we can’t take this. It must have cost you a fortune,” Luke commented. Bo sighed.

“Luke, it was a present from a fella that rolled through here.”

“We can’t accept it.”

“If you don’t, you’ll hurt my feelings. Come on Luke.”

“Yeah, come on Luke,” Bo added.

“This puppy will make the General just as fast as Uncle Sam.”

“Yeah and we need to show Essy who is boss.” Luke rubbed his chin with his index finger and his thumb.”

“Yeah and you can beat ol’ Rosco in it too.”

“We already beat him in the General,” Luke noted. Cooter shook his head.

“Come on Luke,” Cooter whined.

“Please,” Bo said as he got down on his knees.

“Oh alright but we’re gonna pay you for at least part of it,” Luke finally said.

“And I’ll give it back to you,” Cooter whispered as he leaned down to Bo’s level. Bo winked.

“Hey, what was that about?”

“Nothing,” Bo said as he began to walk out of the garage. Luke followed him.

“Oh that wasn’t nothing.”

“Sure it was.”

“Bo Duke now you come back here.” Bo went into a light jog and then into a run. Luke followed him.