by: Marty Chrisman

Jesse heard the sound of someone moving around downstairs. He sighed softly. He knew even without getting up that it was Luke. He was worried about his oldest nephew. He hadn’t been sleeping more than a couple of hours a night ever since he came home. Jesse knew that he was having nightmares. Bo had told Jesse that he’d heard Luke talking in his sleep and had awakened him a few times when the dreams seemed really bad. But so far Luke had refused to talk to anyone about the dreams.

Jesse didn’t want to push Luke but he didn’t want to see him suffer either. He had already suffered enough. Finally, Jesse shoved himself to his feet and went downstairs. Luke was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. There were dark circles under the young man’s eyes and his face was drawn and tired. It was obvious that he needed a good night’s sleep. “Can’t sleep again?” Jesse asked, as he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table beside his nephew.

“No…” Luke said, lowering his eyes and avoiding his Uncle’s gaze.

“Maybe you should talk to Doc Applebee….see if he can give ya something to help ya sleep.” Jesse suggested trying to be helpful.

“No…I’m fine.” Luke insisted “I don’t want no drugs.”

“Luke, you’re not fine.” Jesse said “You’re not sleeping……you’re having nightmares….”

“I’ll be alright, Uncle Jesse.” Luke said in annoyed voice making it clear that he didn’t want to talk about it. Without another word, he shoved himself to his feet and went through the living and out onto the front porch. Jesse heard the slight squeak as Luke sat down on the porch swing. Sighing, Jesse finished his coffee and went back upstairs to bed. Luke wasn’t ready to talk yet and Jesse didn’t know if he ever would be.

But Jesse knew that it would be worse for Luke if he kept it all bottled up inside of him.

Sooner or later Luke had to deal with what was going on inside his head.

On the front porch, Luke sat in the old swing gently swaying back and forth. He stared out into the darkness and listened to the sounds of the night. But in the depths of his mind, he didn’t see the familiar landscape of his childhood home he saw the jungles of Viet Nam . In spite of the warmth of the night, Luke shivered with a cold chill. He found himself wondering if he was finally losing his mind. But Luke still believed he could handle it by himself without worrying Uncle Jesse and the rest of his family any more than he already had. The sun was just starting to come up over the horizon before Luke finally stood up and went back into the house.

Daisy was in the kitchen starting breakfast. When she saw Luke come into the house, she poured a cup of coffee and sat it on the table for her oldest cousin. Luke gave her a smile of thanks and sat down at the table. He could see the worried look in Daisy eyes as she glanced at him. “You okay, Luke?” she asked quietly

“I’m fine….” Luke told her but the words sounded hollow even to him. He knew that his family was worried about him, he was worried about himself too, but he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t seem to control the crazy things that were going on in his mind. But he still resisted talking about it to anyone, if he talked to anyone he would have to tell them the things he’d seen and done, and what he’d gone through in the prison camp and he had no intention of reliving all that again.

Over the next few days little changed. Luke still couldn’t sleep and when he did, he was awakened by the nightmares of being back in a cage with people hurting him. The lack of sleep was starting to take its toll as Luke became more irritable and short tempered. Everyone noticed but nobody knew what to do. Finally, Jesse called Doc Applebee without telling Luke and told him what was going on.

“It sounds like a severe case of post traumatic stress syndrome.” Doc told Jesse “It’s to be expected after everything Luke went through over there.”

“Well what can we do to help him?”

“The best thing you can do is get him to talk about it.”

“I’ve tried that….he won’t open up.”

“I was afraid of that….I know Luke…but he needs to talk about what he’s going through. If not to you, then maybe somebody at the V.A. He needs to understand that other veterans have gone through the same thing, he’s not alone….”

“Thank you, Doc. Anything else we should do?”

“I could give him some sleeping pills to help him sleep without the nightmares.”

“Luke don’t wanna take no drugs.”

“Then there isn’t much else you can do except be there for him and try your best to help him get through this.” Jesse thanked the doctor and hung up. He walked over to the kitchen window and looked outside to where the boys were washing the General. Jesse tried to think of a way to get Luke to get the help he needed without alienating him.

And Jesse had a feeling that Luke would fight him all the way if he suggested talking to someone at the VA. Now that he was finally home, Luke seemed to want to forget everything that had to do with the military.

Bo had been asking Jesse to let him help make some shine runs and now that Luke was back, Jesse wondered if maybe he shouldn’t let Luke start showing Bo the ropes. Bo was an excellent driver and Luke had already been making runs for Jesse at that age for almost a year. Maybe it would help Luke get his mind off of other things.. Jesse had taught both boys how to drive and they knew every ridge runner trick there was and then some. Driving just seemed to come naturally to both boys. Jesse decided to think on it a bit. His first priority right now was Luke and his well being including his mental health.