by: Essy Jane

I was out running that morning, like I normally did, when I saw this guy speed past me. A very familiar face. Judd had found me again. Now we were racing. This meant war. I sped up beside him. “I didn’t think I would see you for a while. This is the ninth time this month,” I told him. I ran ahead of him. Now it was his turn to catch up.

“You want the truth?” He asked, panting. I slowed down, going behind him. He slowed down also.

“I assume you’ll give it to me whether I want it or not.”

“I asked Bo.” He sped up again. Oh great, he asked Bo. Oh boy, this wasn’t good at all. My friend Bo wasn’t exactly going to take that too well. After all, the guy still had a thing for me.

Now imagine for a second…another man, Judd, asking about what my daily activities were. I didn’t know how Judd became such good friends with the Dukes, especially considering he doesn’t live anywhere near there, I wasn’t ready to find out though. I sped up after Judd.

“You asked Bo?” I questioned.

“Yeah and you know what? It was hard to get it out of him,” Judd answered. I slowed down again. Judd followed my example. “Do you have any idea why?” Now I came to a total stop. I put my hands on my knees and panted. I pulled off my backpack and grabbed the water bottle from inside and took a drink. “Oh come on Essy!” I handed the blue sports bottle to Judd. He held it far from him and squirted the water in his mouth.

“Bo was sort of looking in my direction a while back.” I began to laugh for a second and suddenly stopped. “He couldn’t even get the words out of his mouth to talk to me.”

“Dang, doesn’t sound like Bo at all.”

“I was surprised myself.”

“Then again, look who I’m talking to. Essy, you are…”

“I’m what?”

“One minute you make total sense the next you don’t. You have a mean streak a mile wide but it is tamed in a minute. You can make me think and not a lot of people do that.” I blushed and pulled away. I could feel that hot feeling. My face turning a bright strawberry red. “Oh Miss Tizdale, did I make you uncomfortable? I never thought I would see the day.”

“Oh come on!”

“You know, I had to find out your last name from Luke. I don’t think I should have to learn more about you like that.”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yeah but not here.”

“Where then, your place?”

“Nah, how about the small café around the corner let’s say about 7ish?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“I don’t know, do you accept?”

“I guess so.”

“Then it’s a date.” I smiled and pulled away. “What is it?”

“You know, the only time you have seen me is when I’m completely sweaty and running. Or in the morning when I get breakfast”

“So?”

“Oh never mind.” I began to walk away slowly towards my place.

“I am grabbing your shoulder and turning you around because I want to know what’s bugging you, but I don’t need another black eye so I am doing it verbally.” I laughed and turned around.

“Judd, I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“I am afraid of getting too close to you so fast.”

“Why?”

“What do you see in me?”

“Why do you doubt yourself?”

“Why are you answering my question with a question?”

“Why are you doing the same thing?”

“How come you keep annoying me like this?”

“What makes you think I am trying to annoy you?”

“You just did the same thing.” I took a deep breath and let it out slow. I shook my head. I walked over to a park bench and sat down. I looked up at him. “And you said I was tiring?” Judd chuckled softly to himself. He sat down beside me and touched my hair gently. I wanted to pull away at first but it felt so right. I don’t know, it seemed to be going way too fast but at the same time, I didn’t want it to stop.

“You are exhausting and you’re beautiful.” I pulled away and looked at the green grass. I didn’t know what to say to that. I thought Judd was different. I had received so many lines about my beauty. How I was like a flower, shinning my colors so vividly. Now I had received another one. A different line but still a line. I didn’t need an additional line from a different guy. A guy I thought was the one.

“Yeah, thanks,” I mumbled. Judd looked at me with those big blue eyes. Something was familiar about them but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I shook it off.

“You’re welcome.” That’s it! I had to know. Why did he like me so much? I wasn’t exactly Loretta Lynn. I didn’t entertain people. I didn’t have a singing career or anything. I am Essy, plain old Essy and that’s all I would ever be. My goodness, why did he want to get with me? I would never be one of those girls. “What’s wrong Miss Essy?”

“Nothing!” I couldn’t say it again, I didn’t have it in me. I didn’t want to tell him that I wasn’t good enough for him. I couldn’t say that. He was so kind. He deserved a lady not a tom boy.

“Yes there is Essy, I can see it in your eyes.”

“Judd…”

“Hey, don’t try to change the topic, I can hear it in your voice.”

“You barely know me. How would you know what I am trying to do. You know me what, a few days?”

“I have met a lot of people and I know when they’re trying to switch topics. You my friend are uncomfortable.”

“I am not.”

“You can pretend it away all you want but I know it. You can tell me I don’t know you but I do.”

“You think so do you?”

“When you’re angry you turn a bright shade of red. You have a short fuse when people challenge you, honey you get defensive. That’s your biggest weakness.”

“I’m not defensive!” I crossed my arms and looked at him. I didn’t want him to be right. I walked away and he walked in front of me. I tried to go to the left and he stepped in front of me. When I went right, he stepped in front of me.

“I am not going away Essy, I can’t afford to. I don’t care what excuse you hand me or what line you push on me to get me to back up. I can’t do it, I won’t loose you. I feel like I have known you forever.”

“What do you see in me? I don’t act like normal girls though I know my Auntie would like me to. I am not into the proper lady junk. What is this because of my beauty?”

“You are very beautiful to me.” Tears flowed from my eyes. I pushed them away. Judd was confused. I knew it, I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to know why I was so upset yet he wasn’t listening.

“Everyone wants the face right? Why couldn’t I have been someone else? Someone with scars where a man loves her because of her insides? I am sick of being dazzling to every man. Why can’t they just see me?” I leaned over and sobbed some more. Judd sighed. He pulled me up.

“Oh Essy.”

“What?”

“Essy, if you think I like you just because of your face, you’re dead wrong.”

“You just said I was beautiful. You’re just like all the rest of them.”

“No, when I said you were attractive I meant every part of you—more than your skin.” My eyebrows rose. I couldn’t believe he was saying this. Was it a lie to get me to love him? I didn’t know.

“Come again?”

“I like everything about you. Your personality is so different like you said. You’re unique.” Was I out of the ordinary? No, I couldn’t let him win. I knew who I was inside.

“I am not.”

“I don’t know a person in the world who would do what you do. Essy, you walked me back to my apartment and listened to me babble on and on about my mother.”

“It was interesting.” He shook his head. “What? It was.”

“I didn’t tell you she was dead did I?” What was he looking for with that comment?

“Are you saying that because you want me to feel sorry for you?” The anger within me was rising. “My mother’s dead too and so is my father.”

“There, now I know something else about you.”

“Stop torturing me! I know you don’t think of me as unique or intelligent or anything else.”

“Essy, give me a chance. I do care about you. Okay, I gave you a weakness, you want to know your strengths?” I was puzzled by his question and really didn’t know how to answer. “Essy, you’re a great boxer. You showed mercy to the other boxer when she had enough. You could have pounded her to the ground.”

“You watched my game?” Judd’s eyes shifted upward avoiding eye contact. I pulled his face towards mine. He looked me in the eyes once again. Judd’s eyes were filled with frustration. He didn’t know how to put his feelings out there for me to see without me getting upset. “You watched my game?”

“Yeah I did and you have spirit. You have a great love for it and I can see that. But that’s not your only strength. You are also very gifted with music. You sing down the halls when you go to school.”

“You follow me?”

“Okay, I know that’s weird but…”

“You actually followed me?”

“You intrigue me.” I began to laugh.

“No one has ever followed me. You like me that much?”

“You’re like an amazing book that I have never seen before and want to go through a million times just to know it better.”

“What now you’re a poet?”

“Look into my eyes Essy, know that I’m not making this up.” I rolled my eyes at first but then I did as he said. Judd’s eyes, his truthful spirit shone through them.

“You really like me?” I said emotionally.

“With every bit of my heart.” I bit on my bottom lip. I couldn’t believe he said that about me. No one has ever truly liked both sides of me. Well, Bo certainly did but he fell for the beauty first and my personality later. “I’ll see you tonight then?”

“You can count on it.” I walked away slowly wondering if he was going to turn me around verbally again. When I looked back, he had disappeared. I couldn’t believe this. I was falling for a total stranger.

by: Essy Jane

I was waiting in line for my usual breakfast. A bagel with cream cheese and of course my hot chocolate. It was a pretty long lineup. “Man, what I would give for a home cooked meal,” I mumbled to myself.

“Me too,” A familiar voice said. I jumped. There was Judd standing there in his sweats. I gave him a friendly slap.

“Don’t do that!” I shook my head and turned around, looking towards the front of the lineup.

“How long have you been coming here?” I stood silently and wondered what he would say next. “Oh come on, you said we were friends now.”

“We are friends, Mister Kane.”

“Okay if we’re friends, why are you still calling me that?” I chuckled to myself.

“I thought you would regret being friends with me after your shiner become visible.” Now it was his turn to laugh softly at me. He tapped my shoulder. I turned around yet again, staring at him. “You’re so annoying.”

“Not all the time, this is just the official ‘Pick on Dumb Animals’ week.” I shook my head. He winked at me. “Essy the elephant strikes Judd the Jackal.”

“Judd the Jackal is asking for his life to be spared after calling Essy an elephant.” My shoulder’s drooped as I leaned in to get a better look at his eye. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“You said it yourself, Essy-Jane Anne Tizdale.”

“Where did you learn my last name?”

“I asked a dog on the way over—Luke told me.” I laughed again.

“Ah finding out government secrets huh?” The line moved up again. Judd was grinning like a chessy cat. “Well, what else did Luke tell you about me?”

“That you have a car named Uncle Sam. That you, Essy-Jane, drive better than I do. That’s pretty weird, I am a good driver. Luke says I am nothing compared to you on the road.”

“Well Luke over exaggerates.” Now I was at the front of the line. I looked right into the lady’s face. “My usual please, thank you kindly.” The girl nodded her head. Without hesitation, she got my breakfast ready. “So you do most of your spying by talking to others?”

“Well as a professional spy…”

“Professional?” I laughed. “You a professional spy, now Mister Kane that’s something I just can’t picture.” The lady behind the counter handed me my hot chocolate and I walked out slow enough so Judd would be able to see me when he came out.

“Essy, wait up!” He called. Judd ran to me. “Can I walk you to class?” I began to giggle softly. “What?”

“You want to take time out of your busy Killer Kane schedule to walk me to class? Now what’s the catch Mister Kane?”

“I was wondering…”

“Ah, there’s your problem.”

“Huh?”

“Wondering requires thought now are you really good at that?” He shook his head.

“You really are tiring.”

“I am not.”

“You just don’t think we can be real friends do you?” Now I was tongue tied. I didn’t know what to say to him at that moment. He challenged me again.

“I hate when guys do that.”

“Do what?”

“What did you just do, Mister Kane?”

“Why are you answering my question with a question?”

“Why are you asking why I am answering your question with a question?” I growled and he was laughing.

“You’re great, you know that, Essy?”

“Stop that! You’re still questioning me.”

“It’s hard not to. You’re such a big question. The real question is, what is your favorite meal?”

“Shepard’s pie.”

“Great answer, now I know something else about you.”

“Hey, what were you getting at back there? You were wondering something.” Judd opened my hand and put a small white envelope in it. I opened it.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come to my game. There’s a backstage pass in there and…”

“When?”

“Tomorrow, I want some tips from the girl who beat me with one punch.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, can’t you make your own decisions?” Now he was just testing my patience. “The amazing Essy-Jane, runs away at the mouth but can’t make true decisions.”

“Well, I have to think about it.”

“You better think fast. There’s two tickets in there and two backstage passes. I want you to bring someone special.” Okay, who could I possibly bring who would actually enjoy a match?

“I will think fast, since I’m good at it. Thanks for the offer.” I walked into the big spacious building. Looking at the hallways as the people wandered to where they were supposed to be. Judd didn’t follow me this time. I knew he was trying to build some sort of climax.

I did make a decision to go to a game of his but as I saw a little boy and his father, I changed my mind. I handed them the tickets and the backstage passes. The look on that child’s face was priceless. He was about to meet his hero Killer Kane. That was better than me going to any game.

Later on that week, I was running at night again. Trying to clear my head before the big exams. I had studied so much that I knew I was going to do alright but still I wondered

I wasn’t paying attention and I knocked someone down. “Oh I am sorry Mister…” I began. A head popped up. It was Judd. I slapped him playfully. “What are you doing over here again?” I stood up and this time offered him a hand. He tried to get up but instead he pulled me down. I laughed hard. Judd tried to push himself up but kept getting tangled in my legs.

“Well isn’t this embarrassing,” Judd mumbled.

“What that Killer Kane isn’t perfect?”

“No, that this time you would bump into me. Shall I give you a speech about watching where you’re going?” I shook my head no. He smiled. “Now what did we learn from all of this?” I rolled my eyes and pulled myself up. “No come on, I want to hear it from the great Essy-Jane.”

“Accidents happen?”

“You get better and better at this every time.” I finally got a hold of his two hands and pulled him up. He looked deep into my eyes. “You didn’t show up at the game.”

“So?”

“A father and son told me how wonderful it was to be sitting front row center to see the fight. Your tickets I gave you.”

“And your point is…?”

“You are not heartless.”

“Okay…can you run that by me with an explanation?”

“When I first met you I thought you didn’t care. Now I find out you don’t have any friends up here. Is this true?” My eyes widened.

“Where are you getting your information from?”

“Daisy Duke.”

“Judd, don’t ask my friends for information about me.”

“Hey, you know everything about me yet you won’t tell me very much about you.”

“That’s because I haven’t made up my mind about you yet. This makes the third time you have bumped into me.”

“No, no, you bumped into me.” I turned away, trying to hide my smile. He pulled my face towards him and looked at me. “Don’t do that, Essy. A smile is something to show off not keep covered.” I leaned in, almost like I was going to kiss him but I immediately pulled away.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.” I walked away slowly.

“Hey, you still owe me something for the black eye!”

“I did, I helped you up.” I looked back and waved to him. He smiled and waved back. I still didn’t know what Judd wanted but I did know that I was starting to trust him.

by: Essy Jane

I guess I was lost, mislaid in the wasteland of my own thoughts. I decided that acting wasn’t the thing for me. I didn’t want to disappoint my Auntie so I decided not to tell her. It wasn’t that I wasn’t good at acting. I just couldn’t see myself performing day after day for a crowd that cared for nothing but my character. I wasn’t going to play the Hollywood game where I would have to break myself for what I wanted.

I knew that somewhere there was something out there for me. Something that would only be mine. Auntie Emma was right. I had to find out who I was and where I wanted to be in the near future. I couldn’t just take the easy way out and deliver mail for the rest of my life without exploring other options. Why are our loved ones always right?

At first I didn’t want to do anything about my life. I liked where I was and I really wanted to stay. But as I said, that just wasn’t an option. I felt like I was staying in Oklahoma for all the wrong reasons. Like I was just there because I thought I couldn’t do any better. I didn’t know why but I knew I had to find myself, I just had to.

For a great deal of people, there is a nonstop war in their head that they honestly want to control but can’t seem to. They contemplate relentlessly about their own individuality and where they truly belong or even more so if they fit in at all. I guess I thought I should stay here and continue to find myself. Personally, I didn’t want to be 98 years young and still wondering who I was.

I decided that I was going to go for that boxing scholarship that I had waiting for me. Now I lived pretty close to the school. I only had to take one bus. It wasn’t like it was some sort of chore to go to school although sometimes it felt like it. I didn’t like to be tied down in that one place for so long.

Don’t get me wrong, UCLA was filled with action. Interesting people, one more diverse than the next one, I guess I did like it here. All the people were remarkable. But I can openly say that some things never seemed to change and many differences that I found so interesting seemed to disappear. Boys and their toys showing off even more than Bo and Luke put together. They always were flirting with me and not in the way I liked. When they found out I could kick their butts well, let’s just say they backed off all together.

It seemed like I was without a friend in the world. There wasn’t a person I could truly call and talk to for hours about how I felt. The girls weren’t as welcoming as they were made out to be. They knew I was unusual and not all of them accepted it.

I wasn’t like the majority. You know, trying out make-up and going for any popular guy I could snag. Make-up was an art and I really didn’t think wearing it everyday was good for me. Auntie Emma told me that make-up was for special occasions. I shouldn’t wear it every day. Everyone always said I had a natural beauty about me and to cover it up would be a crime. I wasn’t too sure of that.

As for the so called popular boys, they didn’t look at who I was. They looked at my face. Nora, one of the girls at school, she says I could have anyone I want if I would just let them get close. I couldn’t do it. I knew what they were like. Most of them took advantage of girls. They would rather hear me sing to them than hear my opinion.

I didn’t want that life. I wouldn’t be seen as plaque on someone’s or some sort of other lever. I didn’t want to be hooked onto some guy’s arm if he really didn’t care about how I truly was. I really couldn’t follow the tendencies that everyone else found so comforting. I wanted to be a person. Known for who I am not who I knew.

I was thinking about it too much that day, way more than I thought I should have. I mean in all actuality, if you dwell on the bad long enough, your life becomes sourer than a lemon. Bo said that once to me in a letter and it seems to stick with me. I sure do miss him…and Luke. Well, I miss all of the Dukes. I miss Auntie Emma.

Maybe I should go back to Hazzard—date Bo for a while. It seems so easy. I could settle him down, kind of as a bonus to Jesse. Maybe then he wouldn’t be worried about him as much. Jesse seems to think I can do that. I don’t know, Auntie always tells me my dreams are out there and I have yet to find them.

Soon I was tired, tired of thinking of all the terrible things going on in my world. I wanted some air. I got into my sweats and peered out the door. It was late, some would say too late for a run but I wasn’t really bothered by it. I bolted out of the door, not looking back for one minute. I had my backpack on like I normally did when I ran. As I continued going, I could feel the firm pavement in the park. The fresh wind howled through my carroty red hair. I was for that moment happier than I had ever been.

I could now focus on me. I didn’t have to look strikingly beautiful when I ran. None of the boys bugged me. It was just me and the cool asphalt road. My fine-looking white shoes thumping on the trail. As I was running, some ham-fisted guy knocked into me. I fell to the ground and he fell right on top of me. I couldn’t believe it! I shoved the moron off and growled.

“Can’t you watch where you’re going?” I asked him. He pushed himself up and offered a hand. No way, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. If he wasn’t smart enough to watch where he was going, I wasn’t about to let him help me up. His eyes were asking me many questions like, ‘well are you gonna take my hand or not?’ I pulled myself up and slapped his hand away.

“I’m sorry ma’am, I was only trying to be a gentleman,” A tangy accent replied. I hadn’t heard one of those since I left for California. I was wide eyed, staring at him. “Are you alright?” I pulled myself out of the trance and cleared my throat.

“You’re not from around here are you?”

“No, neither are you.”

“Great observation, mister, I am glad you can recognize a southern gal when you see one.”

“My name is Judd, Judd…”

“My name is Essy-Jane, my friends call me Essy.”

“Nice to meet you Essy, I really mean that.”

“I said my friends call me Essy.”

“Umm…”

“Do you look like one of my friends?” When did I get so cruel? I guess I was still angry. I am good at staying angry. When my folks were still alive, I could hold grudges with them for days. “You trip over me and automatically you think you’re my friend Mister…”

“Kane.”

“Mister Kane.”

“I would prefer if you would call me Judd.”

“Mister Kane, I don’t know you and you certainly don’t know me. How could I possibly call you anything but…?” He put a finger over my mouth. I wondered what was going on.

“Shhh.”

“What is it?”

“I think what your friend is trying to say is he has a gun to his back and he doesn’t want you to get shot,” A stranger said from behind us.

“Was that it?” I asked. He shrugged.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Judd answered.

“Now, I want you two to turn around slowly,” The man said. We both did as he said, turning to face a masked criminal. “Very good, now give me all of your money.” That tares it! You don’t have to deal with this everyday in Oklahoma or in Georgia! I kicked the gun out of his hand and grabbed it. He tried to make a mad dash but I turned off the safety.

“No, you hold it! No one threatens me and gets away with it,” I hissed. I pointed the gun at his back and looked at Judd for a minute. “Judd, go and call the police.”

“There’s no way I am leaving you here alone with someone like that,” Jud answered.

“Hey, I am a country gal. You think that he’s gonna get the better of me?” Judd stared at me for a second. “Get out of here!” He began to jog pretty fast. It wasn’t long before he was back. He stared at me until the police came and took the crook away.

“You’re crazy you know that?” Judd said after the police cars were far out of our reach. I laughed. He shook his head softly. He seemed so concerned about me and yet he didn’t even know me. All he knew about me was that I came from the south and that I liked to run.

“Oh stop being such a baby,” I muttered.

“Essy-Jane, you could have been shot.” I rolled my eyes. “Really, you could have. I can’t believe you would do that.”

“Look MISTER Kane, if you don’t want to kick guns out of people’s hands I will accept that. But don’t you tell me what to do.”

“Don’t give me that! You could have…”

“Mister Kane, don’t tell me what could have happened. We could have ended up dead. I could have ended up without the money I have in my wallet. Now, if I lost that money, I wouldn’t be eating for the next week. You may think that money comes easy to you but it certainly doesn’t to me.”

“You would risk your life for money?”

“Yeah, in Hazzard if you weren’t brave, you are a dead man.”

“Did you say Hazzard?”

“Yes sir.”

“You—you’re from Hazzard County.”

“No sir.”

“Then why did you bring it up?”

“Well Mister Kane…”

“Call me Judd.”

“Okay then, Judd, my Auntie lives down there. I go there on occasion. Why do you ask?” Judd’s eyes widened.

“Are you friends with Bo and Luke Duke…Daisy and Jesse?”

“Umm yeah, isn’t everyone? You know them?” He nodded. “Okay, then you know Bo and Luke then you know if Bo and Luke could do this so could I.”

“Doesn’t mean you should do it, Essy-JANE, Bo and Luke at least play it smart.”

“So do I.”

“I disagree.”

“It’s because I’m a woman isn’t it?”

“No…”

“Many people would think every lady is defenseless but I don’t.” Judd shook his head.

“I didn’t say you were defenseless.”

“Then what are you saying?” Judd shook his head and buried it in his hands. “Come on, out with it already. Are you saying that I am dense or are you saying, my mind is not fully fashioned to California living?”

“You Miss Essy-Jane are so far off and you’re so tiring!”

“Tiring? You think that’s tiring you should go and visit UCLA, write 12 letters a day without repeating a thing and boxing on the side. Then you have volunteering and bus rides where men are constantly trying to get you into their circle. Not nice men. You’re calling me tiring?”

“You box?”

“That’s all you picked out of that whole sentence?”

“No, I was just curious about your boxing.”

“Okay, yes, I box. I am in the championship games. Why am I telling you this? Why?”

“In the ring I’m Killer Kane.” I didn’t know what this guy wanted. Did he want to pick me up or impress me that he was a professional boxer?

“That’s nice.”

“What you don’t believe me?”

“I was convinced you were a look alike trying to masquerade as a professional because to me, you don’t seem to fit the part.” I began to walk away when he grabbed my arm and turned me away. “How dare you grab me!”

“Essy-Jane, I’m sorry, we didn’t get off to a very good start.” I rolled my eyes. He grabbed me and now he was trying to apologize. The damage had already been done. “How about you give me your address and I’ll make it up to you?”

“How about you don’t and you leave me alone?” I began to walk away again.

“Essy wait.”

“It’s Essy-Jane to you mister Kane.” I walked faster. Mister Kane caught up to me. He grabbed me again. This time I thumped him one right in the face—oh man I hit him! How could I be so cruel? He was holding onto his face with both hands. “Oh I’m so sorry.” I bent down to see him. He pulled his hands off of his eye. Now my eyes went wider than saucers. His eye was amazingly swollen. I felt my face become warm. Now Judd was the one who was walking away. “Judd…” He turned around.

“No, don’t hit me again!”

“Men are such babies.” He growled and walked back towards me. I knew he was upset by the comment. I had to play on it, this was a little too rich to leave alone. “One little punch and they’re down for the count.”

“You call that a little punch? Lady, that really hurt.” I laughed pretty hard right then. I couldn’t help it. “What’s so all fired funny?”

“You are, you’re a boxer and you can’t even take a hit?” He shook his head. I smiled at him.

“Okay, first off, I took the punch like a man. Second of all, I didn’t want to be hit again because I didn’t want to be bruised before a match.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“No really.”

“And that’s why Mister Kane—better known as Killer Kane—is crying.” I began to walk away again. He caught up to me.

“I am not crying.”

“Okay, fine, your eyes are watering.”

“Honestly, I didn’t mean to challenge you. I don’t need another black eye to match this one.”

“Judd…”

“Come on Essy-Jane, it’s not like I want to hit you back. I don’t hit gals.”

“Judd!”

“What?”

“Where’s your place?”

“Just a couple of blocks away why, you want to trash it to prove a point?”

“No, I want to…” I pulled his body up straight up and looked him in the eyes. Judd had a big smile on his face. I couldn’t help but smile also. He had such an honest appearance. I don’t know what it was about Judd but I guess I could say I liked him, I liked him a lot. I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. He was a total stranger and it would be so weird. “Put a big steak on your eye.” Judd’s shoulders went down. He looked at me and I laughed. “What did you expect? Did you want me to kiss it all better?”

“Would have been nice, Essy-Jane.” He had a big cheesy smile on his face that made me laugh. I walked him back to his place. He went a little slow of course but I didn’t mind. Unlike most guys who would have made cracks about getting hit in the face, he treated me as if I didn’t even touch him.

Judd kept rambling about his mother and how she always had faith in him. He wanted me to know more about him. When I asked why he said, “So I can call you Essy.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. No one ever has done that for me before.

You know, Judd had the highest grade point average in grade two and they skipped him up a grade. His mom nick named him Titian. She always told him that he had a warrior heart. I was completely unsure what Judd’s Mom would have meant by that. A warrior’s heart, I guess I would have to think about that one.

He talked about a lot that night and I didn’t say a word. All I did was listen to him and his tales. Judd’s stories seemed to come to life. Like the story about how he became the boxing champ of UCLA. I couldn’t believe it. Him in UCLA? Unbelievable. Scouts saw that and snatched him up. Now, Judd was a professional. To my surprise he also had a law degree. Imagine being a lawyer and a boxer. It was totally amazing.

“Well, this is my place,” He said as he pointed to a tall building. I walked him up to his door and he let me in. The apartment was huge. Filled with nice couches and other items. I have never seen anything more beautiful in all of my life.

“Place? More like a castle,” I answered him. He laughed.

“So have I earned your friendship or are we still strangers?” I walked over to his icebox and pulled out a frozen bag of peas.

“You have no steaks.” He shook his head and smiled. Judd knew I was playing games with him. “Will peas do?”

“Uh, yeah.” The phone rang and I picked it up like I owned the place.

“Hello?” Judd ran over and grabbed the phone before I could hear who it was.

“Hello? Hey Luke old buddy how’s it going?” There was a sudden silence. “Yeah, that was Essy-Jane but I didn’t know her last name was Tizdale. We hadn’t gotten that far but thanks for the info.”

“THANKS LUKE!” Judd turned to me.

“He said you’re welcome.” He took a deep breath and let it out slow. “She hit me.” Judd began laughing. “Oh come on Luke, it isn’t that bad…no I didn’t cry.”

“VERY HARD!”

“Luke that’s not funny!” I sure thought it was. “Anyway, I got to go. Talk to you later…yeah, you’re still the best one I have…bye now.” He hung up the phone. “Did you have to do that?”

“What?”

“I have to answer to that guy every week.”

“And Jesse Duke?”

“Yeah.”

“Daisy?”

“Uh huh.”

“Bo?”

“Of course I do. Man, your sentences have suddenly become shorter. What, did someone lock your tongue up?” I put the peas on his eye. He flinched.

“Oh don’t be such a baby.”

“Ah that’s the Essy-Jane I know.”

“That’s Essy to you. Anyway, I got a match tomorrow so see you around.” I began to walk out when he cleared his throat. I turned around and winked at him. I walked out of the apartment and leaned against the wall for a minute. What a guy…I was sure we were going to be great friends, that is if I saw him again.

by: Essy Jane

Now we’re at the barn dance. Boss is country line dancing with Lulu. Even though it is a fast song, Uncle Jesse and Emma are in the corner nuzzling each other, swaying back and forth. “Oh Jesse, you’re so sweet,” Emma said. She took off her shawl.

“Now Emmer, don’t you do that you’ll catch cold,” Jesse said. He wrapped the shawl back around her.

“Oh, you’re so wonderful. How anyone could let you go free for so long.” Jesse pulled away and blushed.

Luke is bumping hips with Amy-Lou, the top brunette in Hazzard, a smart one at that. “You know, when I’m done my residency maybe…” She began.

“You can marry me?” Luke asked.

“Honey, we ain’t serious yet. Besides, I want to start a clinic in Chikasaw.”

“Chikasaw? Why not Hazzard?”

“Honey, I have lived here all my life.”

“I was really hoping it would stay that way.”

“I don’t want to trample on the other clinics here.”

“Well the other doctors wouldn’t mind.”

“Luke, come on.” Luke’s head drooped. “For goodness sakes, I ain’t dying. Besides, four years of residency is a long time.” Luke’s lip sunk down. “Oh come on now Luke, let’s just have some fun.”

“Okay but I’m gonna miss you.” Over on the other side of the room, you could see a beautiful dress Bo had picked out. Now I couldn’t decide what looked better, the dress or the owner.

Now Daisy gave her word to a certain Cletus Hogg that she would go out with him. She did it after misleading him about the moonshine still. You know when she asked him? After Rosco yelled at Cletus about the body work he had to get done.

Why did he have to get body work done? Well Daisy had to jump Hazzard pond and Rosco had to follow her of course. He almost made it. Almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades. So Daisy went out with him to make him feel better and she did it with a warm heart.

Suddenly a slow song came on, everyone got with someone they loved or cared about. Bo has finally gotten his date with Essy. Right now, they were dancing away. “Bo, you have been a great date tonight,” Essy commented.

“Well you ain’t so bad yourself,” Bo answered.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“It’s a shame I am leaving Hazzard.”

“Essy-Jane! Why do you have to leave? I finally am able to talk to you and ya have to leave? Can’t you stay one more week? Maybe two weeks? Would you do that for me?”

“Bo…”

“We could dance and have fun and…”

“Bo, my Auntie wants me to go other places, find out if I can be more than a post mistress.”

“Can’t you do that a little closer to Hazzard?”

“Bo, I wish I could but I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?”

“I think I want to be an actress. I’m going to LA to see if I can.” Bo began to laugh. He cleared his throat when Essy-Jane gave him a dirty look. “What, you think I can’t make it?”

“It’s not that.”

“What then?”

“I finally am able to say a real sentence to you and now you’re leaving.”

“Bo, it’s not like I’m going to be away forever.”

“Yeah, you don’t care about me.”

“Wanna make a bet?” She pulled him in and kissed him. Bo’s eyes widened. Essy finally let go of the kiss. She looked at Bo. “Hey, we’ll always be friends no matter what.” Bo smiled.

“I’d like that but Essy you have one predicament on your hand.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“You’re in love with us Dukes.” Essy-Jane rolled her eyes. “No, really, one of these days you’ll marry one of us.”

“Bo…”

“You’ll do it.”

“Bo Duke…”

“After all, we’re movie stars.”

“Bo, shut up and kiss me.” Essy pulled on his collar and kissed him softly. Thank goodness its back to normal here in Hazzard, if there is a normal.
~End~

by: Essy Jane

Here we are, about to witness Bo’s plan. Now we have seen a lot of Luke’s plans but not too many of Bo’s. So watch closely now. Deke and Tate went to Cooter’s garage after he didn’t come home. Daisy was planted there for the best show of her career. Yep, not only was she running the garage today but she was about to do some shuckin’ and jivin’ that would knock your socks off.

The two noticed her working on the cars in her little famous Daisy Duke shorts. She looked up from the car and smiled. “Why hi there boys, what can I do for you?” Daisy asked.

“Do you know the person who runs this garage?” Tate questioned.

“Well shoot no, not very well anyway.”

“What is not very well?”

“Oh he’s been in Hazzard for a long time. I have lived here all my life.”

“So you are friends?”

“With Crazy Cooter Davenport, a nice gal like me? Not a chance.”

“But you know him?”

“Who doesn’t know Cooter? He fixed my car a few times. I am a friend of his Daddy’s. I came here when he got sick and couldn’t come to work.” Now if you know Cooter, you know his Daddy lives in Texas right now. Uh huh, them bad guys didn’t know him all that well.

“He wasn’t at home either.”

“Oh, that old place?” Daisy looked left and right. She signalled them to come closer. “Oh well I ain’t supposed to say it but he’s staying somewhere else because of that girl friend of his.”

“Girl friend.”

“Uh huh, you heard it from me first. Miss Essy can kill a bull right off its hind legs.” Tate began to laugh.

“You’re saying Cooter Davenport is afraid of some country gal?”

“Oh you ain’t ever met Miss Essy before. She’s tougher than nails. You ain’t seen the muscle on that girl. She usually works on a farm by her self.” Daisy gasped. “Uh oh, here she comes now.” From across the street you could see Essy-Jane storming over to Cooter’s garage. She looked Daisy right into the eye.

“Where is Cooter?” Essy-Jane screamed. She wasn’t too bad at this acting stuff either. Daisy’s eyes widened.

“Uh…” Daisy began. Essy banged down on the car hard. She pushed back her red hair and glared at the two crooks. She growled. “Look Essy, he’s taking a sick day. His Daddy…”

“I ain’t gonna ask again. I saw him with Mary-Jo last night. Don’t think that she got away with this either.”

“Essy you didn’t…”

“No, but she won’t be going around Cooter anymore.” Daisy gasped. Essy shook her head. “Oh don’t play games with me. I know Coot’s Daddy knows where he is. You are friends with his Daddy, now don’t play dumb with me Daisy!”

“Okay, you better not hurt him. You promise?”

“I promise.”

“I don’t want to see you in trouble.”

“You won’t Daisy girl, you have my honest promise.”

“As a Tizdale?”

“You better believe it.”

“You remember where Rosco caught him for selling moonshine?”

“Uh huh?”

“That’s where he is.”

“Alright, I’m going there right now.” Essy ran across the street.

“Whelp, gotta go ma’am,” Tate said to Daisy. They both hopped in their car, not noticing Luke and Uncle Jesse following in the pickup. There was no way this plan could fail, unless Essy couldn’t drive.

Essy-Jane picked up her CB receiver. “This is Messy Essy coming at ya loud and clear, open up your ears and you will hear, Messy Essy calling lost sheep two, do you hear me come on?” Essy began.

“This is lost sheep two, I’m in position and in my gear over,” Bo answered.

“Well I got myself a convoy comin’ your way so be prepared to get in here come back.”

“This is the rear of the convoy calling Messy Essy. You better be careful. Don’t take any unnecessary risks,” Uncle Jesse cautioned.

“Shepard, I ain’t gonna get into any traps.” You would think this plan was gonna go perfect but friends, this is Hazzard County. The only thing that really ever goes perfect is Uncle Jesse’s cooking.

Who would be around the bend but Rosco? Yep, that man could be accounted for in every event. Poor old Rosco wasn’t involved in this plan at all. If he somehow caught the boys speeding or anything that would involve sirens, ol’ Bo’s plan would be ruined.

As Jesse saw Rosco, he knew they were gonna need some help. “This is Shepard calling Bo Peep, are you there honey?” Uncle Jesse asked.

“This is Bo Peep coming to you loud and clear,” Daisy answered.

“I know you know what road we’re on. Bo gave us all the scoop.”

“I sure do but what does that have to do with the plan?”

“How fast can you get here in the General?”

“Pretty fast Uncle Jesse, I am a Duke.”

“Git over here pronto then, Bo Peep”

“Why?”

“We need to loose Rosco.”

“10-4 Sheppard on the way.” Daisy pulled off a cover on one of the cars in the garage, The General Lee was ready to go off into battle. Daisy rolled across country and found the little convoy going up the road. Now, how could Daisy get Rosco’s attention without waking up the whole neighbourhood?

She finally got an idea. “This is Daisy calling Cletus, are you in honey?” She asked.

“Yeah Daisy, I am come back,” Cletus replied.

“Honey, Bo’s behind Rosco and he’s going to look for Boss’ still up in the mountains.” Daisy turned the General around. “I just thought I would warn you. I don’t want to get Rosco in trouble.” Daisy stepped on the gas and began to speed away. Well you know old Rosco wanted to make sure that still was safe otherwise Boss Hogg would have his head.

Who would you chase, a ground troop or a mad bomber that could cost you everything? Uh huh, that’s no contest. Daisy turned the station back to six. “Hey Bo peep, this is Messy Essy, how in the world did you get him to follow?” Essy asked over the CB.

“Easy, Bo found his still,” Daisy answered.

“Nice one.”

“Now he’s following me to Hazzard pound.” Uncle Jesse laughed. Luke patted him on the back.

“And you said theys were gonna get themselves in trouble,” Luke laughed. He sighed as he looked at the car racing behind Uncle Sam. Luke shook his head softly. “I guess we both have to remember how strong willed Tizdale and Duke women are.”

Uncle Jesse chuckled softly to himself. He eyed the CB and finally picked it up, cradling in his aging hands. “This is Sheppard calling Messy Essy come in,” Uncle Jesse said over the CB.

“Messy here, come on,” Essy replied.

“We’re coming on check point number one.”

“I see that Shepard.”

“Well Miss Messy Essy you should be careful.”

“I hear ya Shepard.”

“Keep your peepers open for Davenport. He should be coming out the minute you knock on the door.”

“10-4 Uncle Jesse.”

“I ain’t your Uncle Jesse!” Uncle Jesse growled softly to himself.

“Yes sir Uncle Jesse.”

“Girl, what did I just say? Enough people call me Uncle Jesse, I don’t need you to start.”

“Yes Unc—I mean Jesse.” Luke tried not to laugh but you know boys. Luke let it slip. Well sir, my good friend Jesse clipped ol’ Luke in on the back of the head, lovingly of course.

Essy pulled off in front of a small run down old shack. She climbed out of the window and pulled her hair back in a ponytail. This is it, Essy thought to herself. She put on her sunglasses and took a deep breath. The young woman knew this had to be convincing. She knocked on the door as if in a rage.

Essy made her body straighten up as squeezed the upper part of her body, which in turn made her face go bright red. After all, red heads are known for their crimson angry face when they’re awfully furious. “Cooter Davenport, I know you’re in here!” She yelled. Essy shook her head wildly. She kept banging on the door.

“Shepard this is lost sheep number two, get ready for operation full stop,” Bo said.

“10-4 little Boy Bo,” Uncle Jesse answered. Luke started up the pickup and drove off. Now don’t worry y’all, for all those Luke lovers, you will see him again.

As Essy continued to bang away, the door opened. She ended up banging on his chest. She didn’t think of stopping at first, after all, she thought she was bashing the door and not some guy’s chest.

I bet you’re wondering whose chest. Well I’ll tell ya. There stood a very recognizable man. Blue jeans, a dirty tan shirt and a yellow head. The shirt’s sleeves had been ripped right off of the shirt. Now, if you don’t know the person who wears this shirt, I reckon you need to come to Hazzard County more often.

Essy stood in front of him, yelling and hollering something terrible. He took it too like he had nothing to say. Inside the strange car, Deke and Tate were laughing. “Man that woman must really have him on a leash,” Deke commented. He got into the driver’s seat and she into the passenger’s seat and they sped off.

Deke and Tate followed with great interest. Uncle Sam was going a bit fast for them but they were following the tracks. Tate had learned all about it in prison.

About half way down the road, a pickup flew into their way of travel. The small car slammed on the breaks and halted to a stop. Tate flew into the back of the pickup. Uncle Sam had already stopped. Deke got out of the car first and then Luke.

“Look fella, what’s the meaning of this?” Deke asked. Tate pulled himself out of the back of the pickup. They both stared at Luke with no emotion on their faces.

“Well sorry but I saw a car with a flat tire,” Luke answered. He stood up straight and put one hand on his hip.

“This car didn’t happen to have an eagle on the trunk did it?”

“Why as a matter of fact it did.” Uncle Jesse was pretending to be asleep. Luke took a glance over at him and giggled. “Man, Pa can sleep through anything.”

Just then, Tate and Deke pushed Luke out of the way. They went around the pickup over to Uncle Sam. There were a set of blue jeans under the car. The cowboy boots were moving back and forth. “Alright Cooter, we’ve got you now,” –Tate said as he took out his gun—“You better come out from under there now before I shoot your girlfriend. Don’t think I don’t mean it!” Tate took the safety off.

A pair of hands came out from under the car. His knees bent as he slid himself out from under the car. Tate and Deke’s eyes widened as they saw the face. Uh huh, it wasn’t Cooter after all, I never said it was now did I? You just assumed.

“You!” Tate screamed. The young man took off the hat and wig. A big mop of blonde hair slid out.

“Yep that’s right, it’s me. Thought I was dead didn’t you?” Bo said with enthusiasm.

“You know, I eat people like you up for breakfast.”

“Yeah and I fool people like you after breakfast.” Tate aimed the gun at Bo’s head.

“I outta kill you right here and now.”

“In front of witnesses, you wouldn’t dare do that now would you?” Tate growled. Luke walked over to his cousin. He stood beside him. Now Deke took out his gun.

“Then we’ll shoot you all,” Deke said. Bo and Luke kicked the guns out of their hands. The two men fought with the baddies for a minute when they heard a shot gun loading.

“Put them up,” Jesse said. Deke and Tate did as he said. Luke pulled out some rope from the back of Uncle Sam and tied them up. Now there was a reward for these two. Bo and Luke knew that if they gave them up to Rosco, he would collect the money.

The reward was one thousand big ones. They gave some to charity and used the rest to pay the mortgage. When Cooter finally got back to the garage, he had a surprise for the Dukes. “Y’all, when I saw this, I thought it would be the perfect thank you,” Cooter said. He rubbed his hands together as he pulled a sheet off a big object. It was a new engine. Bo let out a big yee-haa of course. He began to walk over to it when Luke stopped him.

“Cooter, we can’t take this. It must have cost you a fortune,” Luke commented. Bo sighed.

“Luke, it was a present from a fella that rolled through here.”

“We can’t accept it.”

“If you don’t, you’ll hurt my feelings. Come on Luke.”

“Yeah, come on Luke,” Bo added.

“This puppy will make the General just as fast as Uncle Sam.”

“Yeah and we need to show Essy who is boss.” Luke rubbed his chin with his index finger and his thumb.”

“Yeah and you can beat ol’ Rosco in it too.”

“We already beat him in the General,” Luke noted. Cooter shook his head.

“Come on Luke,” Cooter whined.

“Please,” Bo said as he got down on his knees.

“Oh alright but we’re gonna pay you for at least part of it,” Luke finally said.

“And I’ll give it back to you,” Cooter whispered as he leaned down to Bo’s level. Bo winked.

“Hey, what was that about?”

“Nothing,” Bo said as he began to walk out of the garage. Luke followed him.

“Oh that wasn’t nothing.”

“Sure it was.”

“Bo Duke now you come back here.” Bo went into a light jog and then into a run. Luke followed him.