by: MacSas

“How did you get out of there?”

Luke knew Shawna was avoiding his question, bit he’d allow it. For now.

“The camp came under attack by the US Army. In the confusion, I managed to get close enough to be seen by one of the choppers. I was dressed similar to the Vietnamese, but I had a beard, so the crew knew I had to be an American. I was fed rations during the flight back to base, was debriefed and sent home. End of story”

Yeah right, Shawna thought.

There was a long stretch of silence before Luke deemed, “Your turn”

When Shawna looked at him quizzically, he repeated his prior question.

“The truth about what, Shawna?”

She took a deep breath. It was all or nothing now.

“Six weeks after we broke up, you left for Nam. I didn’t know until after you’d left the country. I just want you to know that right off the bat”

Luke frowned. “Okay” he drew the word out.

Shawna rubbed her palms down the front of her thighs. She puffed out a breath and started pacing in front of Luke. His position never changed. Still leaning against the General, legs still crossed at the ankles, arms still crossed across his chest.

Shawna wondered how long his calm air would remain. She laughed to herself. Not too much longer. Maybe she shouldn’t tell him at all. After all, what he didn’t know wouldn’t matter, right? If she told him, then he’d have to deal with the news. Why put him through the hell?

She sighed. She knew it wasn’t in her to keep the secret any longer. He had a right to know. He’d had a right to know, should have known, when she first discovered it herself. But she’d been too scared to tell him then. She was scared to tell him now as well. She made a noise of self-disgust and wandered over to take in the scenery that Luke had stood in front of not long before.

“Shawna”

Luke’s quiet voice broke into her jumbled thoughts. She turned to look at him. He hadn’t moved, but an impatient look had replaced his air of calm.

“You know I can’t quite read minds,” he said, half jokingly. “I’m still working on that. So you’ll have to actually tell me what’s going, because I’m not going to know any other way”

Shawna nodded and walked a few steps back to him. Best just say it and say it simple.

“When you left for Nam, you didn’t just leave me behind”

Luke frowned. Shawna rolled her eyes. Yeah, that was real simple.

“What I mean is … I … well …”

“Shawna” Luke said, a little more stronger.

“I was pregnant”

Boy, there really was something to be said for easing into things. Now the truth had been blurted out, all she could do was watch the play of emotions across Luke’s face. Shock, denial, joy, anger.

“What” he said softly, lethally.

“I didn’t know until you had left for Nam,” she reminded him. “By then I wasn’t sure how to get hold of you …”

“There were ways” he interrupted.

“…I don’t know that I would have told you then, anyway”

“What!?” Luke exploded. “You were carrying my child, yet you don’t think you would have told me about it? What kind of idiot logic is that?”

“My idiot logic” Shawna said, trying to keep as emotionless as possible. “Please Luke, just listen. I was young and scared. The man I loved had just gone to a war zone. We’d agreed that it was better for us to break up before you left, but I never wanted to give you up. I was worried that if I told you I was pregnant you’d insist on us getting married …”

“Dang right”

“I didn’t want you to have to shelve your plans for your future just because of a mistake …”

“A mistake?” Luke was dumbfounded.

“Her conception may have been a mistake, but she never was …”

“She?” Luke interrupted. “I have a daughter?”

The dreamy smile he got was almost more than Shawna could bear.

“There’s more Luke”

“What does she look like?” Luke asked, not paying heed to her warning. “Who does she look like? Is she happy?”

“Luke, she’s dead”

Luke sat back on the hood of the General with a huff, the wind knocked completely out of him. He raised his hands in a helpless gesture, and then let them fall again.

“When” he managed to whisper.

“She was two”

“How?”

“She caught pneumonia. It had been a bad winter. She had a cough but the doctor said she’d be fine. When she developed a fever I took her to the hospital; where she died three days later”

Luke hung his head so low his chin touched his chest.

“God, Shawna” he murmured. “You kept my daughter from me. For two years I was a daddy and you kept it from me” He looked up at her, anger vibrating from his tense form. “And why? Because you thought you knew what was best for me. You decided I would be better off not knowing about her, that way I wouldn’t have to rearrange my life. I can’t believe you’d be so cold hearted”

Shawna felt her heart rip in two.

“I did it for Kieran. I wanted her to have a normal life …”

Luke snorted. “Wait” he suddenly turned to her as his child’s name sunk in. “You named our daughter Kieran?”

“Yes” she answered, a little thrown by the sudden change in subject. “It’s Irish. It means …”

“Dark” Luke finished for her.

“How’d you know that?”

Luke shrugged the question off. Now wasn’t the time to be discussing how amazing it was that Shawna had picked that name.

“You married Kane knowing she was mine?”

“Kane never knew she was yours. He thought he was her father. When Kieran was born he became her father in every way. He doted on her like she was a priceless doll. He never got tired of holding her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep. He absolutely loved her, Luke.”

“Well, wasn’t that nice for him?” Luke said scornfully. He walked away from Shawna, and then suddenly spun back. “Damn it, Shawna! That should have been me enjoying all those things. You robbed me of that” His voice lowered to a whisper. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that”

“Luke, I am so sorry. I’m not the girl I was then. Kieran dying almost killed me. Kane was in Nam, and wasn’t very good at dealing with things openly. I think he almost wished he had died with her. He had nothing to live for …”

“He had you to come home to”

“No Luke, he didn’t. He knew that my heart belonged to you. He knew that I’d never love him. We stayed together because of a mutual love for Kieran. Yet, when she died, she took the best part of us with her”

“Kane knew about me?” Luke asked. “He never said anything when we met”

“He didn’t know the name of the man I truly loved” Shawna explained. “He never knew who you really were …”

“Well, he sure does now”

The strange voice had both Luke and Shawna turning.

A large man with dark hair approached them, gun in hand.

“Who are you?” Luke demanded.

“Jack Marrow” Shawna noted. What on earth was her neighbour doing here?

“Never heard of you” Luke addressed the stranger.

“Well,” Jack smiled. “Maybe you’d recognise me by another name”

“Which is?” Luke asked.

“You don’t remember me, Shawna?” Jack asked. “How could you forget me?”

Shawna frowned. The eyes were familiar, as was the voice. But she didn’t recognise the man.

“What’s your game, stranger?” Luke asked, moving a little closer to Shawna. He kept his eye on the gun the man held, waiting for an opening to strike.

“Allow me to introduce myself Sergeant Duke” Jack smiled coldly, removing the dark wig from his head to reveal a crop of blonde underneath.

“Shawna knows me as her nice quiet neighbour, Jack Marrow. But my birth certificate reads William Jackson … Hardy”

Shawna gasped.

She stood face to face with Kane’s younger brother.