by: Kristy Duke

Staring blankly into the ugly peach cream colored wall that hangs hollowly across the room from where I sit in the large waiting room, the rythmatic ticking of the clock only adds agitation to the fear, anger, and frustration that eats lively within me. I sigh tiredly as I hide my tear stained face into the palms of my hands as my mind runs wildly within me, with clear thoughts and images of the past year and a half to what I had found out only a couple of hours ago. Ever since I had receive the frantic phone call from Bo over a year and a half ago, I had accepted the hard truth of Jesse’s death, accepting that it was a harsh way to leave this world, but it was his time to go. I accepted Jesse’s tragic death in knowledge that I didn’t have a choice, but to accept it and to move on. I knew I had to be strong if the farm had any hope of living and growing as Jesse would want it to. But most of all, I knew I had to be strong for Daisy and Bo, Bo needed my comfort, my strength in knowledge that I was there, even if he had trapped himself within the thick shell.

I feel myself tense up in surprise at feeling a soft gentle touch of reassurance land on my shoulder and I slowly force myself to look up to find Daisy sitting next to me. “He…they’ll be ok,” she finally says wiping her tears away.

“Maybe,” I sigh looking around at the half filled waiting room, “but things will never be the same…Drake came here and wrecked what once was, scarring them for life, mentally and perhaps physically.”

Tears boil up once again in my eyes and I push them away in my own pride as I fight back my emotions. “Luke,” she finally sighs, “You have been there for me when I needed you the most, but what is most important, is that you were there for Bo no matter how frustrate he may have gotten you. You held us together and you are the one that helped the farm stay together…thank-you. You are a great guy all around, but you also deserve to show your emotions, to let your guard down once in awhile.”

“Maybe,” I answer once again as I feel the shock returning to me at thinking of seeing my Uncle Jesse again, of picturing him tackling Drake who had held Bo at gun point. My imagination plays wildly within me at all that Drake could have done to him and the boy. “I can’t believe that anyone would even think of hurting Jesse or Bo…Bo was right.”

“He was right? About what?” Daisy asks watching a few FBI men begin to walk around.

“In the hospital, when he was here and I was here to look out after him,” I sigh, “he opened up a little to me and I ruined it by doubting him. He said it wasn’t Uncle Jesse there that he saw, said after thinkin’ of it there was a couple of differences, but I had to be the one that doubted him, tellin’ him it was wishful thinkin’ or something like that. But he was the one that said it wasn’t him there and he was right.”

Silence grows between us as Frank Mills and a few men are ushered down the hall way and I sigh wondering where they may be going. “You worry too much Luke,” Cooter finally breaks in besides me, “anyone would have said that to Bo if he were to say that to anyone else…everyone saw Jesse’s face at the funeral, and they all saw Jesse, not some jackass dressed to be him. Don’t blame yourself Luke…as Daisy said, if it wasn’t for you the farm wouldn’t be a live and growing as it is now nor would Bo ever open up to anyone.”

“He may not either,” I shove back at him as I stand up, “I can guarantee you that just ’cause they found Uncle Jesse, that it won’t bring him out of it, or ever will. He’s forever scarred by seeing Jesse there, to being shot, to being locked up in that room! He will never the be the Bo we all once knew!”

Slowly I walk to the window and stare down at the few cars that drive by on the dirt road and tears begin to break through the dam I had created to block them back. I sigh warily no longer caring if anyone sees the tears trailing down my face as the silence continues to grow between us.

“Dukes,” a gruff male’s voice finally calls out and I turn around to find a small doctor in his fifties wearing thin rimmed glasses and a thin layer of graying white hair. Quickly we all gather around him, praying for some good news on Bo and Jesse. “I am Jesse’s doctor, Dr. Lynerly.”

“How is he doc?” Cooter finally asks through the odd silence that had grew between us.

“Jesse seems to be a lucky man who has the good Lord’s blessing, seeing how he is a live and the condition that he is in taking in account his age and the man that had held him,” he sighs glancing down at his clipboard of papers, “Jesse has suffered a bad concussion, two of his ribs are broken while three more are cracked which has scratched up his lungs, other than that a few harsh bruises and cuts. He should be good and ready to be released from the hospital within a few days.”

Silence once again grows within us as we look at one another for a long while. “What about Bo?” I finally speak up.

“Or the kid?” Cooter follows my question.

“Bo is still in the ER and what I heard, is still deep into unconsciousness,” he sighs, “he has another doctor who will fill you all in when he is done with Bo in the ER. As for Bryceton, the kid has been through a lot within the five years he has been alive…very obvious that he was abused on a daily routine. His condition is pretty much similar to Jesse’s, if not a little worse. That is about all I know about him…I think he is out of the ER as well, but he on the pediatric floor, they’d be able to say more on his condition.”

“Thanks,” Cooter answers.

“Can we see Jesse?” Daisy finally asks with tears trailing down her face.

“One at a time,” he answers looking around for volunteers.

“You go,” I tell Daisy who looks at me questionably, “I’ll stay here and wait for word on Bo.”

She nods before she follows the doctor down the hall for a while before I return to the window to glare down at the empty dusty dirt road.

~UNCLE JESSE~

“Thanks Mr. Duke,” says the medium sized detective with light reddish brown hair as he leans upon the metal railing that lines the end of my bed. His hard cold creamy blue eyes sends chills racing down my back as he glares into me while rubbing a deep long scar that runs up his right lower arm. “Thanks for you time and for your cooperation…you have been through a lot.”

“Not as much as some,” I am slow to respond as I watch most of the agents slowly walk out the door behind the sergeant.

“Perhaps, but still a lot,” the sergeant sighs, his hard cold eyes seems to soften now that his men have filed out of the room, “I guess I’ll leave you to your family now…they have my number if anything else comes up.”

“OK thanks,” I answer stiffly as I watch him slowly and warily walk to the door as if he was an aging man suffering from harsh arthritis. Watching the FBI agent slowly close the door, I finally move in a fight to gain more comfort before giving up in realization that there is no chance of gaining more comfort in an old hospital bed with two IVs running into me and a stiff air tube up my nose.

A long moment of silence creeps by before the silence is interrupted by the loud scratchy squeak of an opening door. Stiffly I turn to find Daisy slowly walking in and by the trail of her mascara running down her soft cheeks, I can tell she has been crying. As she forces herself to look up at me, I throw her a smile in my little effort to try to comfort her. “Uncle Jesse,” she finally says as she reaches my bed, obvious that she still is fighting back more tears.

“What’s the tears for?” I ask in attempt to comfort before realizing that I am not the only one in the hospital, “How is everyone else?”

“Bryceton I guess should be ok by the sound of things,” she pauses to take me in for a long moment, “Bo is still in the ER.”

“Things will work out, just like the good Lord plans,” I finally come up with an answer and she only nods before rubbing her cheeks harshly.

“How you feel?” she finally asks sitting down besides my bed.

“Sore and stiff, but that is about it,” I shrug, “it could be worse and I am thankful that it isn’t. They say I’ll be out within a week or so.”

“Yeah,” she answers as she glances up at the blank wall that lies a few feet from the foot of my bed, “we thought you were dead…that is why no one looked or helped you out before.”

I look at her for a long moment thinking of her last sentence that she had spoken as if by apology. “Yeah Bo said somethin’ of y’all thinkin’ I was dead,” I shrug thinking of the past, “Drake is something else that is for sure…something I hope is put away for a very long time! . . .Well it wasn’t me.”
“I guess not,” Daisy says almost numbly and for a moment I pat her hand, trying to tell her it is ok. Though as she glances up, I see the emotional pain rolling through her dark bluish brown eyes, pain that says it isn’t all of my death that is bothering her.

“What else is wrong?” I finally ask, “I can tell it isn’t just me here that is bugging you or what had happened back there by the cabin.”

Abruptly she glances back at me for a long moment before answering, “This isn’t the time to be talkin’ of that…you should get better, rest and regain your strength.”

“No!” I say too harshly and un-mean fully, “I mean, I want to know what happened while I was gone…what happened to Bo…well everyone, but Bo…he seems,” I pause, “seems so withdrawn. It could be Drake at the time, but the pain he was in was obvious it’s been awhile, then the broken arm and all that. I want to know what happened…everything and now.”

“Yes sir,” she says, her voice sounding apologetically before she slowly begins to tell what all had happened, starting from the day they went to the town picnic and me staying home sick. I listen sincerely as she continues to explain Bo’s nightmares and the shell he has hid himself in since he found me supposedly shot to death on the living room floor. Anger explodes through me as she explains of the boys’ argument that led Bo to witness Drake killing another man, the chase they sent on Bo, to Luke finding Bo almost dead on the farm’s front lawn. “They musta been keeping tabs on Bo in the hospital because when he was released, they tried a shot on him, but missed and got Luke, or got Luke to get to Bo. One or the other. Luke told Bo to run for it, which he did only after a long moment of persuading…that was the last we saw of him ’til now.”

Silence fills the room for a long moment as my mind runs wildly within me and I begin to say a silent prayer for Bo and for Bryceton. “You mean he has been that. . .that distant for that long?” I finally ask, “I mean when they brought him in, he was really withdrawn, I just figured it was from Drake kidnaping him.”

“Ever since he saw you lying dead on the living room floor,” she answers looking up at me, “has driven Luke in frustration and worry over the year and a half, he’s tried everything. He feels so guilty about it all…the fight only increased that all. The more he sees Bo the more he refuses to forgive himself or to see that it wasn’t him…though through it all he was strong. He held Bo up…even if he hasn’t or doesn’t’ see that. Luke kept the farm going as it was before you left and was there for everyone.”

“Sounds like Luke,” I finally answer, “how is he?”

“Waiting for word on Bo…he refuses to leave until he hears it…just like he refused to leave when Bo was here for that length of time after their argument,” she answers, “Bo’s asthma has worsened…they learned that when Luke tricked Bo into going to town and visited Applebee’s office a couple of days before their argument.”

“Worsened? Damn,” I utter out loud, “I never could imagine it getting worse than what it was before all this.”
“Yeah…I know. His nightmares seemed to only worsen it by the night,” she answers silently.

My heart tightens in grief at the thought of my nephew’s asthma getting any worse and at the thought of what all this had affect on it. I sigh looking up at her as a deep long silence interrupts between us. “They want me to adopt Bryceton,” I finally interrupt the long silence.

“They?” she asks glaring up at me with emotionless eyes, “Adopt Bryceton?”

“The FBI…Frank Mills more like it,” I answer looking up at her, trying to see what she thinks, but she blocks her emotions heavily now, “he says that Bryceton talked heavily of me when they talked to him…that it was me that protected him from his father…all I did, is try to. But Mills says it would be easier if I were to adopt him since he already knows and seems to like me so well than to go to foster homes and what not.”

“Are you?” she asks continuing to look at me, “Do you want to adopt him?”

“He’s had a hard life,” I answer as if to answer her question.

“That is no reason to adopt anyone,” she snaps at me, “pity leaves you nowhere…you should adopt him because you want to adopt him, because you love him, not because you feel sorry for him or that he has had a hard life.”

“I know,” I sigh thinking of what my other children would think, “What would you think of if I did adopt Bryceton?”

“I think you would make a perfect dad for him, that you would love him and take care of him like no one else has ever done or ever will do,” she answers, “I think that it has to be up to you and not what I think or Bo or Luke. It is your decision.”

“I know…but I want your input,” I answer, “I am seriously thinking of adopting him and yes it is up to me, my decision, but I also want your input.”

She looks at me for a long while before answering, “I think it would be good for the both of you.”

~LUKE DUKE~ 

Fear and anger continue to gnaw angrily within me as I stare blankly at an month old sports magazine that I had found sitting upon the end table besides me. Tears continue to threaten to fall through the dam I had built to block the tears of the fear, sorrow, and anger that thrashes around within me. Staring at a picture of a baseball player my mind is fixated on Bo, the scene of Drake holding him on the porch plays clearly over and over within me. “Damn it,” I utter in impatience as I stare up at the clock to find it to be another hour since they had came out with Jesse’s out come. Angrily I throw the newspaper down upon the hard wooden end table to glare around the small waiting room that remains a third full of visitors or mourners.
“How you holdin’ up?” asks a familiar voice and I turn around to find Cooter standing there before taking a seat next to me.

“I’m holdin’ I guess,” I sigh covering my face once more in my hands before looking up a moment later, “I’d be a lot better if they’d actually come out and say something…well maybe I wouldn’t. I don’t know. Them keeping him back there makes me think he’s dead while they are working up the courage to come out and face us with it.”

“Naw if he was dead they’d come out and say it…get it over with,” Cooter says putting a comforting hand on my back, “besides, Bo’s tough…he’ll fight it…tough and stubborn. You know Bo…there is no way he’d die without fighting with knowledge that is what Drake wants. Just the thought of Drake wanting him dead will make him fight to remain a live just to spite Drake.”

“Well what if he isn’t tough enough? What if his fight wasn’t enough?” I ask looking at him just as a tear breaks through my dam to trail down my right cheek, “I can’t stand to loose him.”

“I know…but if it is his time, then it is his time,” Cooter shrugs.

“Yeah,” I answer silently while wiping my face to allow a long moment of silence to join our conversation before asking, “How’s Bryceton?”

“Talkative…talking to him you’d think that nothing ever happened or that he had to put up with all that he had to,” he smiles, “I mean he’s hurt, yes, but he looks on the positive side. That kid is something else.”

“What is it?” I ask after a moment silence and I force myself to look at him.

“What’s what?” he asks trying to act innocent.

“You are hiding something from me and you know it!” I snap.

He sighs as he looks up to watch a grieving young woman begin to pace the floor a few feet away. “Bryceton says that Frank and the FBI is tryin’ to persuade Jesse to adopt Bryceton,” he finally answers looking back at me, “Bryce is very hopeful that Jesse will become his adopted dad…said that Frank said that Jesse is thinking heavily of adopting him.”

“Adopt him?” I ask as my mind spins wildly with in me, my heart drops a few notches lower than before in dread, “Damn it!”

“What? The kid needs to live in a loving and caring home where someone will actually love and care for him…something he really needs,” Cooter sticks up for the kid, “the kid is so loving and caring himself…Jesse and y’all would be perfect for him. He needs it so much, Luke.”

“I know,” I sigh looking at him, no longer caring of the silent tears that slowly streaks my face, “I know Bryceton needs all that…needs Jesse as his father. Jesse would be the greatest for the part that Bryceton needs…I agree with you and would be for it.”
“But what?” Cooter asks.

“But Bo would hate it and you know it. I mean when …if Bo makes it out of this he’ll need Jesse for himself,” I sigh fighting for the right words, “Bo needs Jesse…especially after the year and a half he has had…Jesse’s attention. You know Bo wouldn’t like it at all.”

“I know,” Cooter sighs, “I knew that is what you are getting at too…he’d get over it.”

“Perhaps,” I sigh as silence intrudes once again.

“Dukes,” calls a husky voice after a long few moments of tense silence to make me jump out of my seat to find his doctor to be around my size with graying black hair.

“I’m Bo’s doctor, Dr. Nelend,” he says and we shake hands to find his to be warm and clammy.

“How’s my cousin, doctor?” I ask looking him in the eye.

“Well at the moment he remains unconsciense…in a coma state trance; I’d be honest with you, we all would know and feel a lot better when and if he awakes,” he sighs to pause to glance down at his clip board, “He has suffered a bad concussion- some hit to the head that was pretty hard, he broke three ribs, two puncturing his lungs to make breathing even more difficult or at all for him. His shattered arm only looks worse than before and he has a lot of bruises and cuts that I imagine he had receive while being held captive…as well as losing a lot of blood.”

“Will he be OK? Does he have a chance of waking up?” I ask praying silently for my cousin’s health.

“As I said, we all would be more comfortable about his health if he woke up,” he sighs, “we have came up with that he holds a sixty-five percent chance of waking up or living. He holds the odds at least.”

“May I see him?” I ask with anxiousness to see my cousin.

“One at a time,” he sighs motioning me to follow him down the large bright hall way.

~FRANK MILLS~ 

Exhaustion sweeps through me as my anger seems to accelerates within me as Bryceton continues to answer my agents’ questions. I watch as he slowly answers the questions he is given and notice how alert and aware he is as well as how helpful he wants to be. I sigh fighting for answers to questions that I know will never be answered; how could anyone hurt such a kind and caring cute little boy…or anyone for that matter?

“You don’t seem to be autistic,” Keifer finally comments half way to himself and half way out loud after the questioning comes to a halt and an long thick air of silence enters the room. As everyone looks at him he continues, “Well what I have heard of autistic children…they don’t seem to respond or comprehend others…or talk that much. I mean Bryce seems alert and aware of what is going on
as – ”

“I’m not autistic,” the boy finally cuts in glaring at me with his soft greenish brown eyes, “that was Drake’s explanation to everyone of why I was different…to label me as a retard and gather pity at the same time. He actually got money off of other’s pity towards me…by saying he don’t have the money to send me to the right school and what not. I may be slow due to being born early, but I ain’t no retard! I acted like to satisfy him…if not he’d put me through a lot worse than that!”

“Smart thinkin’,” Keifer smiles friendly down at him and Bryceton looks around the room at one man to another.

“Thank-you,” Bryceton finally responds after letting a brief moment of silence to come between us, “for arresting Drake and his men…before they hurt anyone else…or killed anyone else. He woulda killed Bo if not for Uncle Jesse and perhaps Uncle Jesse if not for you. Thank-you.”

“It’s our job,” I smile at him, “wish we coulda stopped him sooner.”

“You did a great job, don’t doubt it,” he smiles weakly at me before silence enters the room, “how’s Uncle Jesse?”

“Keifer you inform him on Jesse, I need to go out and talk to the sheriff,” I sigh looking around the room, “I’ll talk to you later Bryceton, get feeling better.”

“Yes sir,” he smiles at me before I slowly walk out of the room closing the door behind me

~LUKE DUKE~ 

My heart races within me as each passing second that passes by seems to last a life time as I follow Bo’s doctor down the long brightly lit hall way. Images flash clearly in my mind of how bad Bo will look when I finally enter his room to what the future will hold. My mind flashes from thought to thought, to Jesse thinking of adopting Bryceton to how Bo will handle it if he does adopt. I sigh tiredly as I listen to several doctors’ names or nurses’ names being called over the intercom to break my thoughts of adoption and of Bo for a brief second.

“Here’s his room,” his doctor says as he stops abruptly by a closed door and I stop just before running into him, “it looks worse than what it really is-”

“Don’t lie to me!” I snap at him, releasing some of my anger upon him, “Y’all doctors say that all the time and for what? If it looks bad, then it is bad enough! Bo being trapped in that room there means it is bad…especially when he won’t awaken!”

For a long moment he stares at me in shock before he dares to speak again, “Yes, you’re right…I’m sorry Mr. Duke, they’s just words of comfort,” he pauses in thought, “though I am sure there isn’t much of anything I can do or say to help comfort you…at least until he is out of the woods. He just needs to wake up and we should know for sure of his chances.”
He smiles apologetically at me before he turns and walks back down the brightly lit hall and I sigh in guilt at leashing my anger out on him. Taking a deep breath I take Bo’s cold door handle and slowly begin to open it with images of how bad Bo could look. Silently I pray as I walk into his chilly room to find his room to hold two beds, though the far bed is the only one that lies occupied.

Silently I walk up to his bed listening to his monitors beeping un-regularly along with the IVs that slowly drip into him, echoing off the hollow walls. Walking around the curtain that separate the empty bed from his I gasp in surprise at the sight of his swollen and bruised face that holds several cuts implied upon it to the large air tube that lies down his throat and into his nose for help with breathing. My heart swells up in fear as tears sting my eyes at his poor condition as I take in his still and bruised body to his freshly plastered right arm.

“Hi Bo,” I force myself to say as I bring myself out of shock enough to take a seat next him and I find myself covering his left swollen and bruised hand that lies upon his stomach with mine for comfort, “I’m here Bo…I’m right here.”

Tears sting my eyes, forcing a couple to run down my face as all I get for a response is his irritating beeping of the machines and the dripping of his IVs. Silently I once more pray for his safety, for him to wake up and to be able to hug him once again, to tell him truthfully that everything will be OK. “Please wake up Bo…I’m beggin’ you, please wake up! I can’t afford to loose you, I refuse to loose you,” I sigh as I wipe my cheeks harshly to rid of the tears, fighting to remain strong for my cousin, “they say you have a large chance of dying, but a little better chance at waking up. You got to fight this, Bo, and win this battle, for me, but for yourself. You can do it, Bo…I am here for you…I will always be here for you.”

Tears once again run down my face, but this time in an unstoppable flood as the realization comes clear to me, that I may loose my cousin, that he may not be strong enough to fight it, to win it. “I’m sorry Bo…for saying what I did that day we got into that fight and you ran off. If I hadn’t been so self centered and if I was thinking of you and not said what I did, you wouldn’t have ran off and see what you did…to go through what they put you through with chasing you and shooting you. You wouldn’t have gone through all this pain…you wouldn’t be lying there with a chance of never waking up if I hadn’t said what I said. I should have gotten you out of this…should have protected you like I use to do before I ran off to war. I failed you Bo and I am so sorry,” I pause as I watch him lie silently in bed for a long moment, “you are more like a brother to me…my best friend and I failed you; I failed my best friend. You mean so much to me Bo…I can’t loose you, I just can’t. Please wake up.”

“This isn’t your fault no matter how much you would like to blame yourself…it isn’t your fault,” I jump in shock at another man talking to me from behind and I turn around to find Frank Mills standing behind me and I embarrassingly wipe my tears away, “Drake would find some way to do what he did to him…I mean Drake knows he is the one that walked in and found Jesse…or the so called Jesse dead. It wouldn’t be long until he got paranoid about him and had him shot off and killed…this way Bo at least could fight.”

“Yeah,” I answer numbly turning back to look at Bo, “I just have said some harsh things to him…from making him go back and check on Jesse to the fight we had. If he dies, I would never forgive myself…even if techniquely it isn’t my fault.”
“I know the feelin’,” he half way smiles at me and he watches Bo for a moment, “though with the good Lord’s blessing he could walk out of this…you just need to have faith in Him.”

“Now you sound like Uncle Jesse,” I smile at him, “I haven’t even gone to see him yet…been too worried about Bo to even leave the waiting room.”

“Daisy says he’s been askin’ for ya…though understands with the bond you two seem to have and all,” he shrugs, “I’m sure Bo wouldn’t mind if you were to leave to visit Jesse.”

“Perhaps in a bit when Daisy or Cooter wants to stop by…I don’t feel comfortable leaving him alone yet…call me paranoid,” I answer.

“Not paranoid…worried is more like it and you have every right to feel the way you do,” he pauses for a long moment, “I just dropped by to say thanks for the help…your help got us here with Drake arrested. I am going to transfer Drake out of here with most of my men, a few of my men will stay a while for a few days…so they’ll be around.”

“Thank-you…for everything,” I smile at him as I watch him walk to the door.

“You bet,” he smiles back at me before disappearing behind the door and I go back to watching Bo lie silently upon the bed.

~UNCLE JESSE~ 

I awake yelling out in fear and in pain to find myself covered in thick icy cold sweat as my nightmare plays clearly in my head. The nightmare that I had awaken to several hours ago when I took a short nap, the nightmare that I know will plague me for a long time. I sigh heavily, feeling the pain run down my back, as my mind goes back to the past, to the way life once had been for me before I had witness Drake beating on his boy. I pray wishfully that life will return to normal for all of us while we all take care of the farm and look out for one another, though in the back of my head I know that life will never return back to normal or the way it once had been before all this. Everyone has went through so much, too much to forget about it and move on as if it never happened.

“It’s OK Uncle Jesse,” I hear Daisy say next to me as she wipes my forehead with a cold damp wash rag, “just another bad dream.”

“You’re still here,” I smile at her as I run my hand over her petite hand that rests on my right hand on my chest.

“Yeah…I’m still here,” she smiles, “Cooter was here for a little bit, not for long though. He says Bryceton is doing well considering it all.”

“I hope he’ll be OK…I can’t believe anyone would want to hurt a kid like him,” I answer thinking of the five year old kid as my options of adoption sweeps over me, “Where’s Luke?”
“With Bo…they finally got him out of the ER,” Daisy sighs and my heart aches tightly as her bluish brown eyes detect bad news, “he lies in a deep coma…they are unsure of he will ever wake up…his chance of survival lies on him waking up.”

Tears flow from her eyes through the tight restraints that she held to fight for her strength. Slowly I pat her hand trying to find my strength to give to her but all I can say, “It all lies in the good Lord above now…he has his plans. We need to turn to him to make sure Bo wakes up.”

“I know,” she sighs before looking up at me, “I can go get Luke for you…Frank says he refuses to leave Bo’s side unless me or Cooter are there for Bo…just like last time when Bo was here.”

“Could you please?” I ask and she nods as she slowly stands up to leave the room. My mind runs within me full of concern, fear, pain, and anger that I never felt so strong in my life. A hard bolt of reality hits me that I am losing my nephew without a chance to see him again, to tell him thank-you or good bye. My heart swells within me at the thought of losing my youngest, the one that needed me more than anyone else did, the one that made me feel important, the one I found myself being too protective of; dying with little chance of survival. Ever since I woke up I had been swept with joy that I am alive, that I once again can live in freedom of my family at the farm, that Bryceton is going to be OK and that he for once in his lifetime will know life without torture and pain, but never did I stop to realize that I could easily loose my own nephew. Tears swell in my eyes and before I can fight them back a flood breaks loose down my aged cheeks and soaking into my thick beard and mustache.

After a long moment I am startled by the door slowly opening and I quickly rub at my cheeks to dry my tears to fight more tears back as I see Luke slowly and stiffly walks into the room. His own tears show through his reddened eyes though he fights to hold them back. “Hi,” he finally says as he reaches me, half way looking at the floor and half way looking at me, “how are things goin’?”

“Could be better, but I’m not complaining,” I force a smile for my nephew who only takes a chair.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says after a long eery moment of silence that had drifted between us, “I shouldn’t have been that naive to believe you were dead…it was just so real. Bo tried tellin’ me it wasn’t you last month in the hospital, sayin’ somethin’ was different, but I wouldn’t believe him. And I should have came up to say hi sooner, but -”

“No need for any apologies Lukas…none of this is your fault or anyone’s other than Drake. I know you won’t believe that, but I want you too, I don’t want you to feel any guilt, for you should not and have no reason to feel guilty for any of this; you did all that you could. Of what I have heard thus far, you kept the farm and the family up and running…I am very proud of you Lukas…very proud,” I smile at him and he looks questionably at me, “never forget that…you have done so much to make me proud. What Daisy said, just adds to that. And second of all, you should never apologize for not being here to be with Bo. Bo needs you to be there for him, now as he always has needed you. I am glad that you were there with Bo. As Daisy put it, if not for you, who knows where he’d be now if you weren’t there for him and had patience with him.”

“Not all that patient,” he sighs looking at me, “I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have said nor meant that lead to this and I haven’t said-”

“Look…Bo requires a lot of patience at times…I know this and so do you…it isn’t always easy to keep. But the one thing Bo is…is forgiving, especially of you, Lukas,” I smile at him, remembering old times, “he looks up to you and I highly doubt that there is anything you could do that he wouldn’t forgive you of. You are being too hard on yourself…none of the blame goes on you…so relax and be yourself.”

“I’ll try,” he sighs looking around, “be easier if he were to wake up at least…he don’t show any sign of improving.”

“You just need to have faith in Bo and in the good Lord above, things will work out,” I force another smile on him.

“Yeah,” he says looking at me, his sky blue eyes show a debate of something going on in him, “So are you going to adopt Bryce?”

“Ah you’ve heard…from Cooter I take it,” I sigh detecting his un-approval in his eyes, “he is a great kid who needs loving and care for…a good home to live at.”

“Doesn’t mean you got to adopt him! There are others out there that would make just as great of a home as you do!” he snaps and anger flares in his eyes.

“I know, but – ” I cut myself off, “I take it you don’t agree with me taking him in…why not? You met the kid…who couldn’t or wouldn’t love him enough to take him in?”

“Yeah he’s a loveable kid and he does deserve a great and loving home, but why ours, Jesse? I personally would admit you’d make the perfect dad for him, but that’s not what Bo -” he cuts himself off, aware of him almost letting something out.

“Of what Bo? What Luke?” I ask patiently as I seek the fire dancing in his sky blue eyes.

“Of what Bo needs,” he finally answers, letting out a large sigh of either regret or relief, “look I know you want the kid and you will do what you want to do, and I’ll be happy for you both. But that isn’t what Bo needs and that is what I’ve been looking out for the past year.”

“What does Bo need?” I ask.

“He needs you…that’s what he needs, he needs you and your attention without having a kid to get in the way,” he says, “I don’t need to be rude or selfish, but ever since Bo found who everyone thought was you dead, he hasn’t been the same person…he’s been stuck in that shell of his over a year now without caring what happens to him! Not to mention the nightmares it all has given him and his asthma worsening. Bryceton is a great kid, but Bo needs you and your attention.”

Silence quickly comes into the room as all that he has said clogs my head and forces tears to my eyes. “He’s been in that shell for that long?” is all I can ask.
“Yes…he was very much traumatize by seeing you dead covered in your blood,” he says without any sarcasm, “it is something you don’t just forget or ever will, especially since that was the first dead person he’s seen. I am not saying you shouldn’t adopt Bryceton, because Bryceton needs you and I’d be selfish by saying not to adopt him, I’m just sayin’ Bo needs you…he always have and perhaps always will.”

“I know,” I find myself saying, “but so does Bryceton and I can be there for the both of them. I can’t just abandon Bryceton even for Bo, not after all he’s went through.”

“That’s fine, but be sure it’s for the right reason and not just because you feel bad for him,” Luke says, “I know you love him and you’ll make a great dad to him.”

“Thanks,” I say as silence intrudes more perminately than before as we are all left thinking of what had happened.

~A WEEK LATER~ 

Emotions swirl like a whirl wind through my aging body as my mind races from thought to thought. This is the day I had been waiting so long for, the day has arrived where I finally can be driven home and walk through the old farm house filled with memories, freedom, and security. Never had I thought that I could walk away from Drake still breathing and still alive to be able to return home and now the day has arrived where I can go home. Excitement rushes through me like a teenager on his first dance or his first date and I fight back from jumping up from the wheel chair to wrap Daisy in a hug.

“I want to see Bo,” I finally say cutting through the thick silence that had came between us since she wheeled me out of my room, after talking to my doctor, “I need to see Bo.”

“I figured you’d want to,” she sighs as my thoughts return to the last few days being held captive with Bryceton, to waking up to finding Bo there all beaten and bruised. I never felt that angry at anyone before, knowing that Drake had beaten him and to see the pain in his pain clouded baby blue eyes. The following days I sat and witnessed Drake beat him repeatedly with anything and everything, torturing and beating him instead of Bryceton. How could anyone hurt them? Tears cloud my eyes as images of Bo’s funeral cloud my mind as if I was a psychic and could predict the future, seeing a life without my youngest.

Suddenly Daisy stops in front of a door after a long ride down an elevator and a long walk down a bright dull long hall way. Walking to the door she looks at me and says, “Uncle Jesse, you OK? You could go home and rest…I’d be glad to take you back here after you all rested up and all. That could be best for -”

“That isn’t what’s best for me! I’m fine…OK…I am fine,” I sigh after interrupting her, “I just can’t loose him…or anyone of you.”

“I know,” she tries to smile but is un-successful at it, “Luke is in there now, but I am sure he will leave if you want some time a lone with him.”
I look at her and nod numbly at her as I fight to imagine all that he had went through without me and I can’t help but to feel his pain, though his past year and a half is vague to me. I watch warily as Daisy slowly opens the door and from the dark corner I spot Luke standing up at the sight of us. Slowly I motion her to move me in, to Bo’s bed. Quickly my attention is averted to the last of the two beds, the one that lies occupied. The two monitors monitoring his breathing and his heart shows that both are very weak and very irregular, his four IVs drip into him, echoing off the hollow walls.

“Uncle Jesse,” Luke greets us at the first bed, “how you doin’?”

“OK,” I answer numbly staring past him and out of the corner of my eye I notice Luke nodding at Daisy, excusing himself to leave me with Bo. As Daisy pushes me next to his barred in bed my heart comes to a quick halt at the sight of his ghostly white skin that lies bruised and cut in most areas, at the sight of the large tube down his through and in his nostrils. His right hand and arm has been re-plastered into a new cast while his left hand looks swollen and bruised as well.

“I’ll let you to be a lone with him, I’ll be in the hall way when you need me,” Daisy finally says and I can only nod at her and listen to her shoes squeak against the tile floor and to the open and close of the door.

“Bo,” I finally hear myself speaking his name and I slowly begin to run my hand through his thick blond hair as I once did as he was a child only to find his forehead cut and bruised as well. “there is so much I could say to you right now…you are an amazing person, to have made it past all that you went through since I’ve been gone. You are here for a reason and your reason hasn’t been completed yet…so please wake up, everyone here is begging and waiting for you to wake up.”

Tears swell in my eyes as all I get for a response is the beeping of his monitors. “I have missed you so much since I have been gone, I am so proud of you,” I pause trying to think of what to say, “I spose Luke told you that I am thinking of adopting Bryceton? I wish you were awake to tell me what you think, but I’m sure Luke tol’ me best for you when sayin’ he didn’t approve of me adopting him due to you needing me. I’m here Bo for you…and for Bryceton. I am highly thinkin’ of adopting him, all I need to do is sign papers for him, we all went through the legal options the other day. He is such a loving caring boy Bo…I think you would love him too if you gave him a chance.”

I look at him fighting to figure out how his action would be if he were awake and hearing me talking to him. I sigh recalling a night in the cabin when Bryceton had called me Uncle Jesse in front Bo, Bo hadn’t said anything, but his body tensed up. He didn’t approve; wouldn’t approve. Luke was right. I sigh fighting for the right choice as I look at Bo’s still body, praying for him to awaken. “I know you wouldn’t approve…you didn’t seem too fond of him in the cabin, I don’t know if it was a jealousy thing over me or for some other reason, I just sensed you not likin’ him too much,” I sigh, “but I just sense that this is what I am meant to do…that I must adopt him. I hope that you and Luke will forgive me and learn to love him as much as I do…I know you will. You just need to give him a chance. I am here for you as for Bryceton and as for Luke and Daisy. I am here for all of you.”

I go silent as I take him in with hope of seeing him awake soon after him being in a coma over a week now. Within the week I have witnessed Luke’s spirit drown more day by day that he lies in the coma and tears swell in my eyes at the thought of losing Bo. If Bo were to die, if we were to loose him, it would change so much. I told Luke that Bo needed Luke, and Bo does need Luke as he always do, but I also know that Luke needs Bo as much as Bo needs Luke; even though Luke would never allow to show it or to say as Bo would show it.

Once again I pray for Bo to wake up and to be OK as I fight back the tears that start trailing down my face. “Please wake up Bo…we all need you to wake up…we can’t loose you Bo,” I finally say as I finish my prayers as Luke walks in behind me with Daisy and as they reach me I say, “I am going to adopt Bryceton…think that is what I am suppose to do. I feel it…it is the right thing.”

Daisy puts a comforting hand on my shoulder and Luke smiles weakly at me and through his eyes I can see all the sleepless nights he has spent here with Bo. “He’ll love to hear that…let’s go see him and get them papers signed,” Daisy smiles.

“You wanna come a long?” I ask Luke.

“No thanks…I wanna stay here,” he smiles looking at Bo, “I want to be here for …for Bo.”

“Look…he wouldn’t want you to just sit here, he’d want you to live your life, move on,” I sigh, “yeah be here, but -”

“I am gonna stay,” he interrupts, “I’m not gonna move out of this hospital until he does.”

“Ok,” I smile at him as he leans down and gives me a hug before Daisy leads me to find Bryceton at the orphanage in town.

~LUKE DUKE~ 

Abruptly I am thrown awake due to another harsh nightmare that sends cold sweat racing down my face with chills racing up and down my back. Jolts of pain shoots through my body as I stiffly sit up from resting against the hard hollow wall that I sit next to. My vision clears up after a long moment to realize that I am once again in Bo’s hospital bed instead of standing next to Frank Mills watching Bo being beat at gun point. For a long moment I stare down at Bo as the night mare of watching Bo being held at gun point plays clearly in my head as the feeling of hopelessness once again conquers my body. If only he’d wake up…

I force myself to take my eyes off of my silently still cousin to look up at his monitors that shows no improvement if any at all. I sigh warily as I remind myself to be strong for my cousin as I had always been in the past. “C’mon Bo…please wake up…we all need you to wake up,” I sigh looking down at Bo as I begin to run my hand through his thick golden blond hair and sigh at the sight of his bruised forehead, “Uncle Jesse has been home for over a week now…he’s been here as well as Daisy and Cooter. Jesse is going crazy with you not waking up…we all are. And … Bryceton. He’s moved into the farm a couple of days ago I guess. Jess says he’s really approving and opening up there.”

I sigh in frustration as all I get for return is the off beat of his monitors, the only thing telling us he’s still somewhat a live instead of dead. I watch for a moment, taking in his still bruised and cut up body as my imagination plays wildly within me at all they had done to him while being captive. “Jesse is doing OK at home, he has reoccurring nightmare…it all still haunts him I am told. I guess that is what is to be expected,” I sigh watching him lie silently as if in protest against ever waking up, “maybe if you were to wake up and be Ok, it’d help brighten him up? He…we all need you to wake up. We can get through this and on with our lives together.

“I know I haven’t been the best at being there for you or helping you out since I came home, but I promise, I’ll hang tough for you…I’ll be there for you,” I force myself to take a pause to fight off the tears that slowly leak down my cheeks, “you are my best friend…I have failed you, which means I have failed my best friend! I’m sorry…I will do anything you want to make it up to you…just please…please wake up.”

I fall into silence as the tears fall down my face uncontrollably and I am forced to hide my face into my hands. Slowly I fall into prayer for my cousin to wake up, to be Ok, for my family to return to the family I once knew.

Abruptly my prayers are interrupted as I feel Bo’s left bruised hand under my arms slowly move and jump in great surprise as I feel a stiff and cold finger wiping a trail of my tears awake. Quickly I look up from my hands and my heart comes to a halt to find Bo awake looking at me from above the tubes in this throat and in his nose. His baby blue eyes are clouded with harsh pain and harsh fear as he looks up at me as if wanting to tell me, though the tube blocks him from saying anything.

“Bo!” I smile at him and I excitedly hug him, “You’re awake!…Wait here a second…let me get your doctor!”

He looks at me in protest as I quickly leave to find his doctor of which I find at the front desk.

~BO DUKE~ 

I am thrown awake from a series of harshly haunted nightmares that was tinted with clear pictures and sounds of all that had went on the past year and a half. Bright lights shine in my eyes to send a flash of pain through my head as I fight for answers on where I am at. Fear and pain rush through my throbbing body as I slowly notice the tube that lies down my through, another tube in my nose, as well as a few IV needles to tell me that I am in the hospital. The beeping of the monitors seem too loud and piercing to my ears as I vaguely hear someone say something next tome. Stiffly I glance to find Luke sitting next to my hospital bed with his face partially hidden in his hands. Through the gaps between his fingers and between his two hands, I notice a creek of tears flowing down his pale cheeks. His intelligently blue eyes shines with great fear and worry mixed with a hint of guilt and shines of lack of sleep. Never before had I witnessed my cousin cry or see any hints of fear in his eyes and yet they glitter with fear and is full of tears. Why?

Forgetting about the tube shoved down my throat I fight to say something, an attempt to help comfort him, only to be choked by the large tube. Slowly, I move my left arm out from under his arm to send more shocks of pain flowing through my body. Fighting back my own tears of the pain that shoots painfully through my body, I slowly reach out to trace the tears down his left cheek. He jumps in surprise and as he looks up to see me awake, his eyes are full of surprise, an excitement look that a child would portray while opening up a Christmas gift he had wanted so bad.

“Bo, you’re awake!” he smiles leaning over me and hugs me tightly and after a moment I feel a tear of his land upon my shoulder through the thin hospital gown, “Lemme go get your doctor, I’ll be right back.”

Fear clenches a tight hold on me at the thought of being left alone here as he quickly leaves as I fight to beg him to stay only to be choked by the tube. Tears quickly seep through my blockage I built to shield off the tears of pain, to slowly run down my cheeks. My thoughts rush hurriedly within me, from thought to thought as the image of my last waking minutes at the old cabin, being held hostage by Drake. I sigh tiredly in pain as the images continue to flow clearly in my head and I pray in hope that everyone else there is OK, that they had been able to stop Drake soon after I was thrown down the stairs.

Quickly my thoughts are interrupted as the door is carefully opened and I watch Luke walk in with an older doctor with graying black hair, standing around the same height as Luke. “Well my patient had awakened,” he smiles as if trying to help comfort me, “I am and have been your doctor for some time now, we all were beginning to wonder if you’d ever wake up. I’m Doctor Nelend…let me look ya over.”

I look at Luke who only nods at me as the doctor quickly begins to poke around and write things on his clipboard that he had brought in. After a long moment of silence he slowly stands up from leaning over and looks from Luke to me. “Wow…you have improved greatly since the last time I was in here to look you over,” he says looking over at Luke, “I figured him waking up would help matters a lot. . .In fact, I think it would be safe to pull that plug out of your mouth, since the one in your nose is as well helping you breathe. OK? On the count of three I want you to blow out as I take it out. OK? One. . .two…and three.”

I breathe out as I am told and as the tube is taken out I begin to cough, fighting for air to send pain flaring in my lungs. “It’s OK,” he tells Luke, “it is natural for it to do that, it is the change from the tube in from being pulled out. But I will have a nurse run you in a new inhaler for him since he has awakened. It may be a week or two before being released, but he is looking good.”

Slowly he nods before grabbing his clipboard and walks out, closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry Bo,” Luke turns to me.

“For what?” I ask fighting for air.

“I should have supported you…believed you,” he sighs, “I have failed you. . .and maybe if I -”

“Don’t apologize and don’t blame yourself,” I interrupt him, “it’s not your fault and it would have happened no matter what you did.”

Slowly he nods as an odd silence enters the room as he fights for what to say. “Uncle Jesse is at home,” he finally speaks up, “he is really worried about you…we all have been. He is doing OK…he adopted Bryceton, it all went through legally last night.”
“Adopted him?” I question looking up at him and he slowly nods.

“He’s a really sweet kid,” he says as if supporting the choice before he sighs tiredly, “you just need to give him a chance…I guess I do too.”

Tears once again enter my eyes, though this time of sadness or of jealousy knowing that my life will no more return to the way it was before we lost Uncle Jesse. “Yeah maybe.” I finally say.

“Hey look,” Luke says trying to comfort me, “we’ll get through this together…it’ll be ok.”

“Perhaps,” I shrug to force more pain shooting through my body, “I wanna go home.”

~UNCLE JESSE~ 

“Are you sure you are ready for this, Jesse?” my niece asks as she shoves my old white truck into park in the dusty dirt parking lot of the Tri-County Hospital, “I mean, just cause Luke calls sayin’ he’s awakened and -”

“Of course I am ready to go in and see Bo,” I interrupt her too harshly, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

She goes silent before she looks down at Bryceton who sits in the middle seat between us, staring out of the windshield before he looks up and catches on. “Cause he don’t like me,” Bryce finally speaks up.

“Who don’t like you?” I question him.

“Bo,” he finally says, “I tried…and he only ignored me!”

Slowly I hug onto him as I fight for answers to what he had just said as Bo’s reaction to him replays in my own mind as I images of how Bo will react when he knows I adopted him. “He doesn’t not like you,” I sigh running my fingers through his light brown hair that has flecks of red throughout, “he is just going through a hard time since I have been gone. . .and he needs me to be there for him. Before all this, it was him th at got the most attention from me…when you called me Uncle Jesse, I think that made him jealous…felt like he was being replaced.”

“Will he get upset if I call you dad?” he asks me looking up at me with his green eyes, demanding answers.

“I don’t know Bryce, but if he does, he will get over it ,” I sigh, “it may just take him awhile to get use to it…to realize that I haven’t replaced him with you. Just give him time, ok?”

“Huh huh,” he nods before smiling, “well then, what are we waiting for?”

“Good question, squirt,” Daisy says throwing open her door to be drawn out into the hot humid summer day and I slowly follow her out to help him out.
Grabbing my hand Bryceton begins to walk next to me before saying, “I like Bo.”

“You do?” I smile down at him in hope that Bo will learn to like Bryceton as much as Bryceton seems to like him.

“Huh huh,” he nods as we begin to walk into the hospital and up to Bo’s room in silence.

~BO DUKE~ 

Quickly I am jerked awake, yelling and crying out breathlessly in fear as scenes of being held hostage continues to play clearly in my head from the nightmare that had awakened me. Within a quick second, Luke is helping to force my inhaler and sprays it a couple of times inside of me to decrease the pain that flairs in my lungs. Slowly, my vision clears enough for me to notice Jesse standing awkwardly at the foot of my bed holding Bryceton who stares caringly at me while Daisy stands next to him. “It’s OK Bo,” Luke finally says taking his seat next to me and I slowly look at him, “it was just another bad dream…just a dream.”

“Yeah,” I speak up sarcastically, “a realistic one.”

“I know buddy,” Luke says, almost seeming as if he don’t notice Jesse and Daisy standing a couple feet away, “they said that’d it’d be expected…but I’m here…we all are here for you throughout it all.”

He motions at Jesse, Bryceton, and Daisy as Jesse slowly sets down the thin boy who is now dressed in better and clean clothes, my guess being a hand me down from either Luke or me. “Me too,” Bryceton says stepping to the right of me, easily slipping in between my barred bed and the machines. I watch him warily, unsure of what to think and am surprised as he sets a caring and bruised hand upon my cast, “Me and dad…uh your Uncle Jesse, go through the same thing. But he always helps me…I am sure he will help you too.”

I look up at Jesse and he is slow to nod before saying, “I am betting that Luke tol’ you, but I did adopt Bryceton.”

Silence falls in between us all as I feel their eyes on me, awaiting for my response. “Yeah…he tol’ me that,” I sigh, fighting for strength, “I am happy for the both of you.”

“Really?” Bryceton says, his bright green eyes lighten up in excitement, awaiting for my approval, “You’re happy that I am living with you and dad?!”

“Yeah really,” I finally say fighting to hide the sadness that fills me at the thought that no matter how hard we try, life is going to be different than how it was before Jesse was kidnaped; I am no longer the youngest nor the one that needs Jesse the most, “I’m happy for you, you deserve him.”

“They thought you’d be upset,” Bryceton says for everyone to glare at him, “because you’d fear that I’d be taking your spot…that isn’t what I want to do…dad says that would never happen either.”
“Maybe,” I shrug to send pain marching down my body.

“No maybes about it,” Jesse sighs moving next to Luke to sit along side me on the hospital bed, “there is enough of me for you, Luke, Daisy, and for Bryceton. There is no need for jealousy or to feel like you’ve been replaced. I am here for all of you. You hear?”

“Yes sir,” I sigh and he smiles at me, his eyes seem to dance like they once did before he was kidnaped and for the first time in a long time, I can tell my Uncle Jesse is happy…happy to be alive despite the nightmares he must still be plagued with.

“How you feelin’?” he finally asks after a long moment of silence and Luke motions me to answer.

“I hurt,” I pause and everyone glares at me, “and I wanna go home.”

“Your doctor says it shouldn’t be too long now that you’ve awakened,” Luke says next to me.

Silence fills the room once again as their attention remains on me as if awaiting me to do or say something. “I missed you,” I finally open up to Uncle Jesse, deciding on not letting Bryceton get in the way of me being excited at Jesse being home.

“I missed you too, Beauregaurd,” Jesse says knowing he is the only one I let say my full name as he pulls me into a long bear hug, “I missed all of you…I am just glad we all together again,” he pauses to set me back down, “we’s all a family once more.”

“Me too!” Bryceton pipes in, in excitement, “My first really family!”

“That we are,” Luke smiles and well gather into a large hug.

*********************THE END***********************