by: Jax

 

“Hazzard County Commissioner’s office, this is Min how may I help you?” Min Duke stated as she held the phone. Her desk sat in the booking room right in front of the office formally occupied by Boss Hogg. The frosted glass pane now bore the name Cooter Davenport County Commissioner of Hazzard County in bold black letters.

“Oh yes Ms. Davies, I was about to have Cooter check over the list of the volunteers. Yes, let me have him review everything and I’ll call you back within an hour. Okay, thank you, talk to you soon.” Hanging up the black phone, Min slid her brown leather office chair back from her desk and stood up. She picked up a clipboard and flipped up the top page.

“Hmmmm might be a little short in that department.” She muttered to herself as she rounded her desk and knocked on the doorframe than opened the door.

“Cooter?” She asked as she poked her head into the office.

Sitting behind the huge oak desk, Cooter Davenport gazed up from his papers and smiled.

“Hey Min, what’s up?” He asked as he sat up then leaned back in his chair.

“I just got off the phone with Ms. Davies; she wants to know if you’ve had a chance to go over the final list of volunteers for the joint Easter and Civil War Day celebration.”

“Oh right, I did tell her we’d have it done by today. “ He glanced at the clipboard in her hands. “So is that it?”

“Yeah… I was just going over it.” Min said as she flipped up the top page again and gazed at the papers. “Looks like we got mostly everything covered. We have all the volunteers for the Civil War celebration taken care of, including my brother as General Robert E. Lee.” She stated with a small smile.

Cooter chuckled at that and shook his head. “Oh I just bet ol’ Bo Duke is more than happy to be General Lee.”

“He is, he’s going to be good.”

“I bet Luke is green with envy, what General is he going to play?” Cooter began tapping his pen on the desk.

“Actually Luke isn’t playing a General. I’ve been nagging a whole week for Luke to volunteer like he promised but he’s been up to his neck in getting more business for the shop. Bo told me yesterday that Luke told him to just put him down for whatever’s left.”

“All right, so where do we still need volunteers?”

“Uh….” Min began going through the pages again. “Okay the museum pieces are covered, the concessions, fliers being passed out, posters hung, the generals…” She got to the last page and stopped, her dark eyes growing round.

“Uh oh.”

Cooter saw her expression and his brow creased. “You okay?”

The question made her raise her gaze and she nodded. “Yeah I just found the one place we’re lacking a volunteer.” Her mouth twitched as she spoke and she cleared her throat.

“Take a look for yourself. “ She passed the clipboard to Cooter who read down the list. He gazed up at Min in disbelief.

“You think he’d do it?”

“I think he doesn’t have much of a choice. Luke said whatever we needed him to do, he’d do. Besides it serves him right, I tried for awhile to get in touch with Luke.  If I had been able to he wouldn’t be stuck with the bottom of the barrel.” Min leaned over the desk and brought up the last page.
“There’s also another supply order for the Boars Nest I need you to sign.”

“Another one?” Cooter reached out to take a pen from a Confederate coffee mug that sat on the corner of his desk and signed the bottom of the page.

“That place sure goes through stuff fast.”

“Come on Cooter ever since you and Daisy bought it and fixed it up its pretty popular.” She took the clipboard back and gave Cooter a smile.

“The new dance floor, the stage, the expanded menu…The Boars Nest is quite a hot spot now. I’ve been in there on a Monday night and it’s packed.”

“Yeah that was a smart move and Daisy’s a heckuva manager.” Cooter tipped his chair back further and tucked his arms behind his head.

“You bet she is which is why I invested while I could.” Min grinned. “I know a golden chance when I see one.” She watched the elected official and shook her head as he rocked the chair.

“Some days I walk in here and expect to see Boss behind the desk.”

“Yeah ol’ JD sure had a way of running things didn’t he?”

“But so do you, and you’ve done a lot for Hazzard Cooter.”

The compliment made Cooter grin as he set the chair back on all fours.

“You really think so?”

“I do…” She nodded then a smile tugged back the corners of her mouth.

“One of these mornings I’m going to get to work and you’re going to be sporting a white suit, a big white hat and smoking a big cigar.”

The idea of wearing one of Boss Hogg’s suits made Cooter laugh. “Me in that white suit? Nuh uh! No way!”

“But that’s what County Commissioners wear!” Min teased.

Cooter checked his clothes, because of meeting with other county officials he had dressed up in khaki pants, a blue shirt with a tan vest over it.  He shrugged at his choice of attire then motioned to the dark haired woman.

“Yeah well don’t assistants dress in little business suits and wear their hair up in a tight bun and have little glasses on the end of their noses?”

“Power suit?” Min gazed down a moment at her blue jeans and button down red shirt.

“Think of this as the Hazzard version.”

Cooter laughed again then shook his head. “Ain’t nothing wrong with that Min.”

“You’re right; I better give Ms. Davies a call and tell her the volunteers are taken care of.”

“And what about Luke? You going to tell him what he volunteered for?” Cooter stood up and moved out from behind his desk.

“Actually after I leave here I’m having dinner with Bo. I also have to give him his General Lee costume and Luke’s too.”

“I need to stop by the shop one day and give Bo and Luke a hard time.” Cooter walked with Min to the door and opened it for her.

“They’ve really been supportive of me ever since I got elected. In fact, I wouldn’t be here it not for them, Uncle Jesse, Daisy.” A smile came to Cooter’s face.

“And you too Min, you being my assistant has really made this job a lot easier for me.”

Min stepped through the door then turned to face Cooter as he closed and locked his office.

“Hazzard’s been my home and I love it here. I wanted to give something back and I figured helping you would be the best way to do it.” Min set the clipboard down and picked up the phone.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” She said with a smile as she began dialing.

“Take ‘er easy Min.” Cooter grinned as he headed out of the booking room, disappearing through the swinging doors.

 

 

Carrying two black garment bags over her arm, Min locked the entrance door to the  county building behind her then carefully made her way down the cement steps. With it now being quitting time, Hazzard Square had tons of people lining the sidewalks and cars moved in and out of it in two long lines. The warm afternoon wind blew back the ends of her long brunette hair and she sighed at the comfort it brought. The light scent of blooming flowers filled the air as she walked across the street towards the garage.

The bay doors wide open, Min saw a pair of long legs sticking out from beneath her red Mustang.

Giggling, Min stopped right beside the long legs and knocked on the roof.

“Knock knock!” She said gazing down at the legs.

“Funny Min, very funny.” A voice said from beneath the car. Bo Duke rolled out then stared up at his sister, a grease smudge on his cheek and in various places down the front of his blue jumpsuit.

“Oh so my car isn’t eating you! What a relief!” Min said with a smile.

Bo scoffed at her as he sat up then slowly rose to his feet. “Had a lot of work today so I’m not done, can you leave Darlin’ here for one more day?”

“As long as you can give me a ride back to the farm, you know Daisy is still out of town with Enos.” Min reached out and wiped the stain from Bo’s face.

“Or you can just stay with me in the apartment; Luke won’t be back from Atlanta till tomorrow.” He pulled a red rag from his back pocket and wiped his face and hands.

Nodding Min gave her brother a gentle smile. “Yeah I’ll stay Bo. I don’t think either one of us wants to be alone.”

Relieved, Bo smiled then put his arm around Min’s neck and kissed the top of her head.

“I seem to recall I promised you dinner.”

“Yeah you did.” She leaned briefly into him then back of seeing all the grease.

“But I think you need to clean up first.”

Bo chuckled then brought his hand up to the zipper and tugged it down. He had a blue t-shirt and jeans underneath it and began to shimmy his way out of the jumpsuit then reached down and picked it up as he stepped out of it.

“There! Instantly clean Duke!” He turned and tossed the jumpsuit into the garage and closed the bay doors. He plucked the chain and padlock from the door frame and neatly chained them up.

“So what did you want to do? Eat at your apartment? Or how about we skip cooking and just go to the Busy Bee for supper?” Min asked as she watched Bo lock up the doors then went to the left hand side to the office door.

“What you got there Sis?” Bo asked as he took a set of keys out of his pocket and began to secure the door. He stuck a key in the knob then another in the deadbolt above it.

“Oh!” Min had forgotten about the garment bags and held up her arm.

“Your costume General Lee.”

“All locked up.” Bo gave the knob a jiggle then looked at the bags. “Both of those are my costume?”

“Uhhh….” She gazed down at the second bag and cleared her throat.

“No, that one belongs to Luke.”

“Tell me he’s General Grant? That way we can be rivals, the North versus the South.” Bo replied with a grin as he tucked his keys into his pocket then put his arm around Min’s waist. The two siblings began to walk down the sidewalk, heading in the direction of the Busy Bee Café.

“Not exactly Bo.” Min said with a sigh. “Luke isn’t going to be a general.”

“He’s not?” Bo smiled as they passed shop after shop. He took in a lungful of the spring air and let it out with a sigh.

“I love this time of year.” He whispered. “Grass is green, trees got their leaves back, and Hazzard Pond is so full of fish they’re practically jumping into your boat.”

“And when was the last time you went fishing?”

“Oh Luke and me went in the fall before it got too cold.” Bo moved away from Min just as the siblings made it to the Busy Bee Café.  He pulled back the glass door for his sister and gave a bow.

“After you.”

“Thank you.” Min stepped up into the café and looked around. The red booths were mostly empty as were the stools at the long white counter. A young woman with short blond hair and a pink waitress uniform with a white apron and matching paper hat grinned when she saw the Dukes.

“Hey Bo! Hey Min!”

“Hey Becky.” Bo raised his hand to her. “How’s business?”

“Fine Bo, just fine, can’t complain.” Becky picked two menus and walked along the length of the counter then emerged from behind it.

“Got your usual booth ready.” She went down to the far corner of the café to the last booth and set the menus on the table/

“Thank you Becky.” Min draped the garment bags over the end of the booth then slid in.

“Can I have an ice tea?”

“You sure can, you want a Pepsi Bo?”

“Please.”

“Coming right up.” Becky walked away to go get their drinks while the menus were picked up and opened.

“You still didn’t answer the question Min. Did you forget or are you just not answering it?” Bo gazed over the top of the menu at his sister. Min sighed and closed her eyes.

“I’m not forgetting its just…”

“What is Luke going to be?” The tone said it all and Min gave a sheepish grin.

“Ummm….” She curled her finger at Bo and he leaned over the table. Cupping her hand around his ear she whispered into it.

Bo’s dark blue eyes grew to the size of headlights and his mouth dropped open.

“Are you kidding?” He said as Min went back down in her seat.

“No I’m not. Luke said wherever we were coming up short he’d volunteer.”

“Yeah but…” Bo leaned back in the booth and his grin spread wide over his features.

“Sunday is going to be a day to remember!”

 

 

 

Lounging on the tan plushy couch in nothing but blue striped pajama bottoms, Bo held his remote control in his hand. He flipped through the channels trying to find a decent TV show that would help him relax enough to finally go to bed. He always had trouble sleeping when Luke had a business trip and even the presence of Min asleep in the guest bedroom didn’t put him quite at ease.

The door suddenly opened and Bo nearly fell off the couch with his astonishment. He saw Luke come in and drop a brown suitcase on the floor by his feet.

“Luke Duke are you trying to kill me?”  Bo shut off the television and set the remote on the coffee table.

“Sorry Bo, didn’t know you were still up.”

“I wouldn’t have been for long with you coming in like a bull in a cow pasture.” He got up and went to the door, closing it behind his cousin.

“Thought you weren’t coming home till tomorrow?”

“Yeah but I decided to cut my trip short.” Luke shrugged off his jean jacket then hung it on the coat rack by the door. He ran his hand through the hair and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Got any coffee?”

“No but won’t take much to brew a pot.” Bo went into the kitchen and took the decanter off the coffee machine.

“Things go all right?”

“Yeah they did, got a few boys in Tennessee that might be interested in the General’s little brother.”

Bo poured the water into the top of the coffeemaker, then put the decanter back in the bottom of it and flipped the switch. The machine began to bubble and make hissing noises as it started to brew. Getting two blue mugs out of the drain board, Bo set them on the counter.

“Luke that engine isn’t anywhere near ready; we ain’t even tested it yet.”

“I know, but our reputation from being in NASCAR precedes us. If we can get this engine in the next big race around here or the next few and win with it, we’ll have a lot of people wanting to buy it.”

“Well the next race isn’t until the Hazzard May Day, I think this year it’s May 5^th.” Bo glanced at the coffeemaker watching as the pot began to fill with coffee.

“So we got almost a month to do some road testing here.”

The thought of racing around Hazzard testing out that engine made Bo smile.

“You know me Cousin; I’d be more than happy to put that engine to the test.”

“Yeah that’s what I’m afraid of.” Luke rubbed the back of his neck again. After such a long trip he was glad to be home.

“I’m going to get changed.” Luke turned to leave then began to tug his white shirt out of his jeans. Suddenly remembering about Min, Bo followed him out of the kitchen.

“Take it easy Luke, Min is in the other room.”

“Min? How come?” Luke looked down the hall to the other room then flipped on the bedroom light.

“Daisy’s still out of town and since I wasn’t expecting you till tomorrow, I asked her to stay.”

“You never did do well on your own did you?” Luke popped the snaps on his shirt in one quick tug then wadded up the white shirt and tossed it at the hamper.

Bo shrugged as he stood in the doorway then leaned against the frame. “Just because you prefer to be alone doesn’t mean I like to.”

“Sometimes circumstances end up turning out that way Bo.” Luke sat on the edge of his bed and pulled off his boots then set them down at the foot of it. He stood up to take off his jeans then paused when he saw the pair of black garment bags that hung up on the back of the door.

“Now what in the world is that?” Luke motioned to the back of the door as he tugged down his jeans then pushed them down his legs.

“What’s what?” Bo glanced around the open door then tugged it closer to him and felt the cold plastic then held it out so he could see what it was.

“Oh that, its our costumes for the weekend.”

“Yeah that Civil War and Easter deal.” Now clad only in white boxers, Luke went to his dresser and got out some grey pajama bottoms.

“So who did I end up playing? Grant? Jackson?” He slipped into his pants then pulled them up and tightened the string around his waist.

“Uh, not exactly Cousin.” Bo grinned sheepishly; the last thing he wanted at that moment was for Luke to find out who he had volunteered to play.

“I wouldn’t worry about that right now Cousin, why don’t we go see if the coffee’s ready?”

“Yeah I could really use a cup.” Luke head out the door and Bo patted his bare back as he passed him. Closing his eyes in relief, Bo sighed then raised his gaze heavenward as he followed his cousin to the kitchen.

 

 

 

“Thanks for letting me spend the night Bo; it really helped me sleep better staying in the apartment.” Min and Bo had left the apartment and walked down the sidewalk that led into Hazzard Square. Having kept a few spare clothes in the dresser of the guest room, Min had on a pair of grey jeans and a white sleeveless shirt.

“You’re welcome, but it wasn’t just you and me. Luke came back around midnight.”

“He’s back?” Min asked, her eyebrows going up. She then gave her brother a sidelong glance. “He doesn’t know about… does he?”

“Nah, I was able to distract him with coffee,” Bo had his hands tucked into the back of his black jeans then moved them around his front and ran them down his orange shirt that had Dukes Custom Racing splashed across his chest.

“Good thing, I don’t even want to be there when he looks in that garment bag.”

Bo made a face at his sister. “Yeah I get to be, thanks a lot. I have to keep him from opening that garment bag until tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry Bo.” They passed the ice cream parlor than stopped in front of the new coffee shop. Min looked up at the huge white cup that read Pot-Holes.

“Say how about I make it up to you, buy you a cup?”

“It’d take more than a cup Min but all right.” Bo smiled then put his arm around his sister’s neck as they pulled back the door and went inside.

The door above the glass door chimed their entrance and the smell of baked goods and coffee quickly made itself known.

Bo breathed in the scented air deeply and smiled. “Mmmmm smells good in here.”

Behind the huge glass display case that had been lined from top to bottom with donuts, croissants, muffins and browns, an older woman with salt and pepper red hair, a blue apron that read the name of the shop and a smile greeted them.

“Good Morning welcome to Pot-Holes, what can I get for you all this morning.” The woman recognized Min and her smile widened.

“Min Duke its good to see you, you ready for tomorrow?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Min stepped up to the case and peered into it a moment before she straightened back up.

“Ms. Williams this is Bo Duke my brother.”

Bo smiled and politely offered his hand. “Pleasure to meet you Ma’am.”

“Oh yes you and your cousin own the garage don’t you? It’s nice to meet you and since this is our first meeting, coffee’s on the house.”

“Well all right!” Bo glanced up at the menu. “Let me have just a large cup of coffee and two sugar cookies please.”

“Now Ms. Williams we do appreciate that but a new coffeehouse can’t afford to be giving stuff away.” Min elbowed her brother lightly at his enthusiastic response to free coffee. “New businesses have a tough enough time, right Bo?”

Clearing his throat, Bo nodded. He remembered how things had been that first year the garage had been open. Despite being the only garage in town, things were pretty slow at first once Cooter had retired.

“Right…thank you kindly though but we’ll pay for the coffee.”

“I’ll have the same as my brother Ms. Williams but I’ll have a banana muffin instead of the cookies.”

“Coming right up.” Ms. Williams went to get their order and Min turned back to the door and peered out of it at the town square. Even though it was barely after seven, some orange trucks and men in white coveralls began to fill the square.

“Right on time, looks like the crew is about to start decorating things for tomorrow.” Min’s tone got Bo’s attention and he came up behind his sister. He recognized the worry in her voice and put his arm around her.

“It’ll be all right Min, you’ll see. Things will go off without a hitch tomorrow.”

“I hope so, Cooter and I have put a lot of time and work into this.” Min said over her shoulder with an affectionate smile.

“And thanks Bo for helping out, you volunteering to be General Lee got the rest of the town to start volunteering too.”

“You know me and Luke had to help Min, Cooter’s helped us more times when we can count.” Bo drew his sister closer and touched his head to hers. “And besides, you know I’m kinda partial to General Lee.”

Min started laughing at that and shook her head. “Gee you are? I really have no idea why you would be.” She teased then sighed, visibly relaxing. Her brother’s reassurance made her feel somewhat better and the tension left the back of her neck and shoulders. Maybe things were going to go all right after all and she smiled gratefully at her brother.

“Thanks Bo.” She said sincerely.

“Anytime.” He said with a wink.

“Your coffee’s ready.” Ms. Williams’ announcement made the two siblings part as they went back up to the counter to get their coffee and pastry.

 

 

 

“Luke Duke what in the world is taking you so long!” Bo called out from the spare room. Dressed as General Lee he wore a long gray double breasted coat that hung to his knees. Below the coat he wore tall black leather thigh high boots that mostly covered his grey pants. There were two rows of heavy buttons that shone with a dull gold luster that went down his chest all the way to his waist. He had a black belt around his midsection and a single strip of black leather went diagonally across his chest to his right hip to a black holster that contained his prop gun. Tucked into the belt, Bo had a pair of light grey Calvary gloves and on the other side he had the sheath for the sword he carried in his hand along with his grey slouch hat. The leather creaked with each step Bo took as he went to the bedroom door and knocked on it.

“Luke it’s almost 15 till 8 you know we have to be there right at 8!” He sighed audibly when he heard no reply. Finally he reached down and gave the knob a turn and pushed open the door.

“Luke we got no time for this!” He said as he walked in then literally stopped right in his tracks. The sight before him made him pause and draw in a deep breath.

“I swear Cousin if you say one word…You’ll be meeting General Lee for real.” Luke’s voice had an edge and it took every ounce of self control Bo Duke could muster for him not to burst out laughing.

Before him stood a six foot rabbit, the costume covered every inch of Luke Duke in white fur and had a pair of blue jean overalls over it. Turning slowly around, even Luke’s face was obscured by the big head that contained a pink nose, and large blue eyes. Atop the bunny’s head was a straw hat complete with ear holes and blue ribbon around it that matched the overalls and multicolored flowers around the brim.

Bo cleared his throat as he gazed at his cousin from head to toe. A large smiling daisy had been sewn into the center pocket of the overalls and the flowers around the brim of the hat also matched the flowers on the side of the large basket filled with plastic eggs.

“So…”  Bo’s voice quivered and he cleared his throat again. “So that’s what was in the box Min left.” He looked into the big blue eyes of the rabbit, grateful he couldn’t see his cousin’s face. He imagined Luke’s angry scowl beneath the costume’s head.

“Easter Bunnies need baskets of goodies, don’t they?”

“Bo…” Despite Luke’s low and deep tone, Bo began to shake as his resistance slowly started to crumble.

“I’m trying Cousin, I’m really trying.”

“You best try harder.” Luke stated and Bo wiped his hand back and forth across his mouth.

“10…9…..8…” Bo began to count backwards and squeezed his eyes shut.

“7…6…5…” Right when he got to four the blond man burst out laughing. He laughed so hard he doubled over, holding his stomach.
“Here comes Luke Duke Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail!” He managed to sputter out.

Luke strode angrily over to his cousin and whacked him with his basket, all the bright colored plastic eggs flying out of it and landing onto the floor.

“Oh no! Bunny Foo Foo dropped his eggs!” Bo only laughed harder and Luke whapped him again. Finally dropping onto his knees, Bo managed to get a hold of himself and began to gather up the fallen eggs.

“Are you happy now Bo? Did you get it out of your system?” Luke’s muffled voice rang out from the big bunny head.

“Mostly Cousin…” He said shakily, his grin still wide as he took the basket from Luke and put the eggs back in it. Finally as this last of his laughter died away and he could breathe again, Bo stood up and presented Luke with the refilled basket.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you!” Luke said sarcastically as he practically snatched the basket out of Bo’s hands.

“Hey now Cousin, who’s fault is it they ended up being the Easter Bunny? Didn’t Min try to call you for a solid week to see what you wanted to volunteer for? And who was it that told her to just put you down for whatever was left?”

“Yeah I know Bo all right? It’s all my fault I’m dressed like this!” Luke went out of the room and into the bathroom. He gazed in the mirror and sighed.

“I look like a fool.”

“No you don’t, you really got a swelled head now!” Bo said with a grin, then patted Luke on the back.

“Seriously Cousin, no one’s going to know its you unless you tell them.”

“I ain’t saying a word!”

Bo reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out his watch and looked at it.

“We have to go Luke, Min and Cooter are going to meet us in front of the courthouse.”

Luke sighed heavily. The last thing he wanted to do was go out in public like this. The one consolation he had being the fact that the costume did obscure his face. He also realized that Min and Cooter were counting on him to help make the celebration a success and their disappointment would be great if he left his pride get in the way.

“We best go Bo.” He said quietly.

Bo slung his arm around Luke’s furry shoulders. “Besides Luke, you’re the star of the show. Who’s going to get the kids attention better? A bunch of dead generals or the Easter Bunny bearing plastic eggs filled with candy?”

“Guess I never thought of it like that.” Luke patted Bo in the stomach.

“Come on General Lee.”

“10-4!” Bo tucked his sword into the sheath then put his light grey slouch hat over his head then adjusted it.

“Do I look like a proper general?”

“Don’t forget your gloves.” Luke motioned with his basket to Bo’s belt and he plucked the Calvary gloves from them and slipped them on, then tugged on the bottom of each one as he flexed his fingers.

“All right, let’s go.” Bo said as he touched the brim of his hat.

 

 

 

The gazebo in Hazzard Square had been decorated with bright red, white and blue banners running all around its top and bottom. It had also been equipped for a brief speech that the county commissioner of Hazzard wanted to make; a microphone stood right near the black railing. At exactly 8 o’clock on the nose, Cooter dressed like Abraham Lincoln with his long black coat, dark beard and black top hat, went up the steps and stood in front of the mike.

“Four score and seven years ago…” He began then grinned. “Just kidding y’all!”

The crowd burst into laughter and Cooter raised his arms to silence them.

“Seriously folks, I want to welcome you all to Hazzard’s Easter and Civil War celebration. If you notice there are booths all around the square for various items of interest, exhibits, food, games and in the very center of town is a tent for the Easter Bunny. For a one dollar donation to the Hazzard Orphanage you can take your picture with him.” Cooter started to speak then closed his mouth briefly.

“Am I missing anything?” He said over his shoulder and Min stepped out. She had dressed for the occasion in an off the shoulder hoop dress. The pattern of the material was silk organza, the pattern had bouquets of flowers covering it and there were ruffles going along the arms and across her chest and a thick velvet belt around her waist.

“Don’t forget later on in the day, our Civil War generals will tell you a little about themselves and we will have the famous Battle of Hazzard reenactment.” She spotted Bo and Luke just behind the crowd and smiled at them. Bo touched the brim of his hat and Luke waved to her; Min felt her cheeks grow hot as they returned her smile.

“Thank you Min.” Cooter said as he once more faced the crowd.

“Well that’s all folks, enjoy the celebration and have a Happy Easter!” Cooter said as the crowd began to clap and cheer. Once the applause died down and the crowd dispersed, Min touched Cooter on the arm.

“Wow I don’t know how those women did it back then. This thing weighs a ton!”

“And I feel like I’m stiff as a board in this thing.” Cooter tugged on the lapels of his coat.

“But we all gotta do what we gotta do. I’m going to check with everyone and you best go check on those cousins of yours.”

“I will, thanks Cooter.”

Min watched Cooter head down the steps and she followed. She got to the edge of them and lifted up the bottom of her dress then carefully stepped down them. Crossing the street, she stepped up onto the grassy area and made her way across it to the large white tent in the center.

“Bo? Luke?” She said as she entered the tent, a fancy gold and red velvet throne had been set up in the center surrounded by large wooden tulips covered a white picket fence. Bo and Luke were just inside the fenced in area.

“Bo you look great!” She smiled as she looked at his costume.

“Thanks Min, so do you!” Bo kissed her cheek.

“Yeah you look like Scarlet O’Hara.” Luke commented then set his basket down and opened his arms.

“Aww the Easter Bunny wants a hug.” Min teased as she stepped into his arms and gave him a hug. “Thanks for doing this Luke I know you’re embarrassed but we really needed someone to volunteer. Without you there’d be no Easter celebration.” She kissed his large pink nose.

Bo smiled at the appreciation Min showed then looked at Luke. “She’s right Cousin, and you know how much that orphanage really needs money.”

“I know. Well I’m here aren’t I? So embarrassed or not I gave my word.”

Luke picked up his basket and sat down in his throne. He placed the basket down beside him and sighed.

“So let’s get hopping.”

 

 

 

By the time the sun had set, the crowd had begun to empty out of Hazzard Square. When the last of the cars disappeared from sight, Cooter took off his coat and his hat and ran his hand through his hair.

“Man what a day!” He said as he climbed up the gazebo steps.

“You can say that again.” Luke sat in one of the chairs that had been placed there, his costume head sat on the concrete beside him. All day being in that large head, his cheeks were branded red and his damp hair stuck to the sides of his face.

“And again.” Bo unbuttoned his coat and left it hanging open, then pulled off his hat and gloves setting them in the empty chair next to him.

“Long but good.” Min reached around her and unbuttoned her hoop skirt and shimmied out of it; beneath the skirt she had on pink cotton shorts and folded up the skirt then draped it over the railing.

“I think it was a real success.”

“We won’t know it’s a success for sure till this time tomorrow Min. It’s a two day celebration remember?” Cooter plunked down in one of the white folded up chairs.

“I know but if the crowd was this good today I’m sure it’ll be even better tomorrow.” Min sat down finally and crossed her legs; she leaned over and began to unlace her boots.

The night began to settle in, the sky now a navy blue color as twilight dissipated and the darkness took over. The sounds of crickets began to drift lazily through the air and with it came a gentle cool breeze.

“That helps cool things down.” Luke stated as he finger combed his wet hair.

“Yeah it does, these uniforms sure are stuffy.” Bo turned to the side and put his feet up on a vacant chair.

“I really do want to thank you all for helping me out with this.”

“Aw come on Cooter, you’ve helped Luke and me a thousand times.” Bo picked up his hat and swatted Cooter in the arm.

“Bo’s right it’s the least we can do.” Luke felt a little bad for his earlier complaining then turned to look at his cousin and gave him a wink.

“I thought you made a fine General Lee Bo.”

“And you were pretty popular as the Easter Bunny, your line was the longest and it never let up.”

“I bet you raised all kinds of money for those kids.” Min reached down to rub at her tired feet.

“And tomorrow being Easter, the crowd will be twice as long.” Cooter pointed out and Luke shrugged.

“That’s all right, I’m sure I can handle it and if I can’t I can always call in the Calvary.” He turned again to look at Bo. “Literally.”

That made Bo laugh and he drew his sword. “I’ll battle them back for you Cousin”

“Save it for the reenactment General Lee.” Cooter picked up his hat and coat and slowly stood up. “I don’t know about y’all but I’m plum wore out. I’m going to go back to my place and crash.”

“Yeah I’m tired too.” Min got to her feet then got her skirt and draped it over her arm.

“You’re welcome to stay with us again Cousin.” Luke collected his bunny head and then bent over and picked up Min’s shoes by the laces handing them to her.

“Thanks Luke, I’d really like that.”

Bo gathered up the pieces of his costume.  “It’d also be easier to stay with us since we live right here in the square.”

“You do live close but not close enough.” Min put her arms around both of her kin.

“Okay so which one of you is going to carry me to the apartment?”

“Neither.” Luke scoffed. “You got legs, use them.”

“Luke! Hey as the Easter Bunny I thought you were supposed to be nice!”

“Easter ain’t till tomorrow Min.”

Cooter listened to the banter as the three Dukes headed down the steps and in the direction of the apartment building. He shook his head as they went on and on then looked up at the dark night sky. He thought of Jesse Duke and a smile came to his face as he slowly walked down the gazebo steps and over to his car.

 

END.

 

 

by: BoJamesDuke

Jesse knocked softly on the door of the room, but after getting no response, gently pushed the door open and stepped inside. He sighed as he saw the curtains were still shut and everything in the room looked exactly the same as it had a week ago….including the young still figure lying face down on the bed.

He crossed gently over to the bed, sitting down on the mattress beside the young man and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. He gave it a small shake, softly calling.

“Bo….Bo come on now, I need ta talk ta ya. I know you’s awake ‘cause you ain’t snoring….”

Hesitantly, Bo drew his face away from the pillow and turned onto his back to look at Uncle Jesse. Jesse bit gently on his bottom lip as he saw the state his youngest was in. His eyes were red raw from nearly constant crying, his face so white it almost looked see through and dark rings underneath those eyes that reflected the lack of sleep that Jesse knew about.

He had tried to catch this early on; he had tried to snap Bo from his grief as soon as he heard the fatal words that night….but it had been an impossible task. The boy was so overcome that he had fainted in the spot he had stood in by the door and it had been all Jesse could do to stop Bo hitting the floor. He had carried him straight to his and Luke’s shared room and put him to bed, intending to have a long talk with him as soon as he woke…but his and Daisy’s own grief had consumed them and instead they had spent hours talking and flicking through the old memory books, albums of photographs.

Daisy had gone to see if Bo wanted to come join them, but she had found him to be sleeping. She had looked sadly over the room as Bo slept, silent tears of grief running down her cheeks for her fallen older cousin. Everything reminded her of him, the memories of events and plans that would never happen again, the memory of his cheerful face and kind words proving all too much as she crossed over to Bo’s bed and lay down next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and sobbing into his shoulder, not at all surprised to find him do the same a moment later.

Jesse slipped his hand into Bo’s and grasped it tightly, smiling gently at him.

“Yer finals are comin’ up next week….”

Bo shrugged and turned back onto his front, burying his face back into his arms. He hadn’t slept a great deal since the news had been delivered about Luke, he hadn’t wanted to. Everytime he closed his eyes, all he could see was him and feel the nagging reminder that he was never coming back.

Luke had only been declared MIA for a week, but to Bo, as soon as he received that news, Luke was as good as dead. There were many young men from across Hazzard that had been reported MIA, and although everyone always prayed for their safe return to the families who were waiting for them, thus far not one of them had made it back….alive.

After that his life just lost all meaning. Uncle Jesse had given him the weekend to recover from the shock of the news and had then determinedly told him to go to school on the Monday, stating that things needed to remain as normal as possible, that Bo needed to pass his exams to graduate from high school.

But now Jesse sat here after receiving the news….Bo’s grades had slipped. Unless he pulled out all the stops over the next few days….he wouldn’t graduate along with his classmates.

“Bo….I know this has been rough on ya….but you can’t let this put an end to yer life….ya know Luke wouldn’t want that…”

Bo shifted and Jesse had to fight back tears as he saw his young shoulder’s shaking, his body wracked with sobs. Bo sat up and wrapped his arms round Jesse’s waist, leaning his head on his Uncle’s strong shoulder and sobbing harder as the loving arm wrapped round his own shoulder’s squeezing them for comfort, pulling him in closer to the embrace.

“Uncle Jesse…..I can’t….I can’t go on without him….I need him Uncle Jesse….I can’t…..”

Tears slid down Jesse’s old, weary cheeks and into the soft curls of Bo’s blonde hair as he heard the heart breaking words coming from his youngest nephew. They should not be words coming from one so young, not from one who had once been the most lively and care free spirit but a couple of weeks ago.

“Bo now you know that ain’t so….I know how much this is hurtin’ you right now but….but you can’t give up Bo….you just can’t give up….”

Bo looked up at him, the tears in his sad, lost puppy dog eyes tearing and tugging at Jesse’s heartstrings.

“He promised me….he promised me he’d come back….why did he lie to me Uncle Jesse? Why did he break his promise?”

Jesse didn’t have an answer. All he could do was hold Bo as he crumbled into tears and collapsed into his arms again.

“Don’t….don’t give up hope Bo. They don’t know fer sure that Luke’s….passed on yet. All they know is that he’s missin’…..he’s a Duke Bo, he ain’t gonna give up that easily.”

Bo’s voice was barley a whisper when he answered.

“I wanted him ta be here when I graduated….I wrote him and asked him if he could come home. He said he was gonna….he said he was proud of me and wanted ta see me graduate…..”

Jesse took Bo by the shoulders and made him look into his eyes, both pairs shining with tears.

“He will be Bo….no matter where he is he will be there with you. So long as you have him right here…”

He laid his hand gently on Bo’s chest, over his heart.

“If you keep his memory alive right here, there ain’t nothin’ ta stop him bein’ with ya on that day….he believed in you Bo, I believe in you. You can graduate….make him proud son…”

Bo closed his eyes as the tears fell in torrents down his cheeks, sobs breaking from his throat as he nodded and fell forward into Jesse’s embrace, the two of them just sitting there, holding each other as they cried….grieving the loss they had encountered, but finally being able to move on.

*****2 months later*****

Daisy and Jesse sat proudly in the audience, looking up to the stage as seventeen year old after seventeen year old walked across it, receiving their diplomas. Jesse looked around and noticed just how many families were here, many of them already weeping, proud of the people that made that walk, even if they weren’t related.

Things had been tough for the people of Hazzard as report after report came in of their youngest recruits being missing or killed in action. As the war developed, less and less letters were sent back and soon everyone truly learnt what family meant, what appreciating what you had while you still had it truly meant.

His eyes quickly darted back to the front however; as he heard the name of his youngest charge being called and he saw the young man start his walk to the middle of the stage. His stride now had the trace of a spring in his step that used to be there, his posture a lot more aloof than it had been. Jesse and Daisy were both immensely proud of him.

Since the talk, Bo had been cracking the books, keeping a photo of Luke beside him when he sat at the kitchen table, glancing at it when he was frustrated or felt like it wasn’t worth the effort. He even looked back at all the letters Luke had sent with their comforting words and loving, gentle advice on all aspects of life. How to kiss a girl properly, how do you know when you’re in love….how do you deal with losing the one you love?

Luke had been there for him, even when he was away. His sound advice was still as useful as ever in the paper and ink memories, and were made even more so because Bo could remember them. He had read and re-read them so many times over the past four years that it had almost become common practise. If he needed his help with something, he would first write a letter to Luke and then talk about it with Uncle Jesse or Daisy or his friends….but he always made sure the letter was sent off first.

And now he was here, standing on the stage and shaking the principles hand, smiling a small smile as the paper touched his hand and he was released. He had survived it, he had survived High School and graduated just like he had promised Luke so many times he would. He reached the other side of the stage and joined his friends, shaking their hands and hugging some of the girls silently as the remainder of the students graduated.

They each took a seat on the stage as the principle stood up to the lectern, clearing his throat as all the students fell silent to give his final speech. Bo looked around the crowd that sat before him, smiling as he saw Jesse gazing up proudly at him, nodding his head in approval, and laughing slightly as he saw Daisy dabbing at her cheeks and underneath her eyes, trying to stop her make up running. Then he looked at the empty seat beside Daisy, the one that should have been filled by his grinning, laid-back older cou….brother and felt the warm tears pricking at his eyes.

He forced himself to look away from the chair and straight out over the crowd of people sitting in front of him. Scanning it he saw many families with loved ones missing, each one of those missing people making up the numbers that would most likely never return to Hazzard. He hated the war and the government with a vengeance then, and silently swore to the heaven’s above, to Luke, that he would spend the rest of his life fighting the system that had taken Luke away so early.

But as he scanned the crowd, something caught his eye. He rubbed the tears from his eyes to try and get the shadowy figure leant against the giant oak tree at the back of the crowd into focus. The first thing he saw was the relaxed way the person held itself, and he could imagine a smile easily on the face. But then, as he squinted more against the sun and put a hand above his eyes, he could make out the military uniform….then the duffel bag at his side…..and jet black hair cut short to a military crop.

He whispered, not being heard by anyone around him.

“Luke….”

He couldn’t be sure, but he could swear the guy at the back was looking directly at him. There was only one way to be sure…he gently lifted his hand and pressed it palm out against his chest, over where his heart was positioned, revealing a very very faint scar across his palm, where he and Luke had become blood brothers.

He waited with bated breath…..and let it all out sharply as the man repeated the gesture….but with his other hand, nodding gently at him. Bo’s breath caught in his throat and he looked over to his friend who elbowed him in the side and gave him a questioning look. All he could do was stammer out his name.

“L….Luke….Luke……LUKE!”

He jumped to his feet and pushed his way through the crowd of chairs and people, not caring that everyone was now looking at him, not caring that the principle was glaring disapprovingly. He tore off the stage and down the gangway, being intercepted by Uncle Jesse half way down, but never tearing his gaze away from the man at the back.

“Bo….Bo what’s the matter you look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“I think I have Uncle Jesse.”

And that was all Jesse could get out of him as Bo tore away from his grip and pelted towards the back, heart thumping widely, his eyes swimming with tears as he got closer and closer, seeing again the wide grin of his best friend, his cousin, his older brother…..Lukas Kevin Duke.

Luke opened his arms wide as Bo hurtled towards him and was barley able to remain standing as the 6 foot 2 seventeen year old collided with him and enveloped him in a fierce hug, sobbing into his shoulder and holding onto him like Luke would suddenly disappear if he was to let go.

Luke immediately wrapped his arms around his younger cousin’s shaking shoulders, clinging to him, suddenly very much aware of just how much he had missed his baby cousin, holding back his own tears as best he could. He ran his hand up and down Bo’s back soothingly as the younger man sobbed his name into his shoulder, smiling as Daisy and Jesse ran up and soon joined in the hug, crushing Luke and Bo together even more. However, they neither cared nor really even noticed.

“God…I thought you weren’t coming back Luke….I thought you’d gone, I thought you’d left me…”

“Shhhhh, s’alright now Bo….s’alright Bo….Look at me cousin…”

Bo pulled away from Luke’s shoulder hesitantly still keeping his arms locked around his cousin’s waist. He choked as he finally got to look into his deep blue eyes again, even if they were outlined with dark black circles that seemed to age him further than the four years Bo had missed him for. The sparkle was still there, the loving gaze Luke had never wavered, never changed.

“Bo…I ain’t never broken a promise to ya before….I sure as hell wasn’t about to start now….”

Luke smiled and laughed gently, although there wasn’t a great deal of humour behind what he was saying next.

“It takes more than a few bombs and bullets to keep me away from ya Bo…”

Bo’s bottom lip trembled and Luke pulled him quickly back into the hug, not wanting to see the shine of years of pain in the young blue eyes, wanting only to wrap his arms round Bo and keep him safe for the rest of his life. What he had seen in war had changed him in ways that he didn’t think anyone would ever be able to understand. He didn’t want Bo to have to go through what he did just to learn the lessons he had though….he wanted to teach Bo himself, he wanted to stay right by his baby cousin’s side and never let him go again.

“God Bo….I’m back Cousin….I’m really here and I ain’t goin’ ever again….shhh Bo it’s alright…I’m…”

Luke choked as his tears flew like waterfalls down his cheeks. He wrapped both his arms tighter around Bo, realising exactly what these next words would mean, the end to everything he had been through the past 4 years, the return to the life he had left behind, the return of his family to him.

“Bo….I’m home.”

by: i1976

Night
Driving in Hazzard streets, last night I was very
angry. Why Bo and Luke are so annoying sometimes? I’m
not a child; I’m a woman and they have to treat me
like a woman. I’m able to take care of myself. They
can’t come to Boars Nest and punch a boy only because
he made me a compliment; it was a rough compliment,
and I decided to discharge the beer on his head before
they punched him. I’m able to take care of myself. I
know they are protective, but sometimes they become
overprotective. So annoying.
In the evening, at the farm, I had a fight with Bo and
Luke; I’m too emotional, I know.
After the fight and after my ride in Hazzard streets,
when I realized where I was, I was there, in Enos
apartment. Enos heard everything I was saying
silently; he said something from time to time, and his
words calmed me down.
I was so embarrassed; I awoke him in the middle of the
night, while he was sleeping.
It was 02:00 o’clock. He was embarrassed while he was
telling me to sleep in his bed, and he would have
slept in the living room’s couch.
In his bed, I was still awake when I heard him phoning
to the farm to inform Uncle Jesse that I was there.
Enos style, but I wasn’t angry with him. However, his
sweet scent that filled his bed calmed me down, so I
fell asleep.

Morning
When I woke up in the morning, he wasn’t there. I left
his apartment; that day was my free day, so I decided
pay a visit to Lulu, and to go shopping with her. I
like talk to Lulu Hogg; she’s very smart. I told Lulu
everything; when I told her that I went to Enos
apartment, she laughed. “So, you went to Enos
apartment in the middle of the night? Poor boy”
I don’t understand why Lulu is always so allusive
‘bout my relationship with Enos; she talks always like
she knows something about me and Enos, something that
she knows but I don’t know.
Anyway, I like to go shopping with Lulu. It’ very
funny and it relaxes me.
Meanwhile we were walking near Hazzard Bank, I saw
Enos. He was talking with a young woman, and he was
smiling. I know that girl; she works in Hazzard Bank,
and I know that she’s engaged with another bank clerk,
but somehow, when I see Enos smiling to another woman,
it bothers me.
Enos, when you smile, is it innocence or deceit?
Probably, did you never realize it, right? But every
your smile stirs my heart, and you have to smile only
at me.
Lulu looked at Enos and the girl, then she looked at
me, laughing when she saw my face. “Are you jealous,
Daisy?” Not. I’m not jealous at all. Enos is only a
friend, right? My best friend, but only a friend,
right?

Evening
It was time to return to the farm. Bo and Luke didn’t
search me; they know that when I’m angry it’s better
to stay away from me. I was quiet, so I could come
back home, in order to talk with my cousins and Uncle
Jesse, and apologize.
Suddenly, I saw Enos patrol car.
I decided to stop; I wanted to thank him for last
night. I stopped my car, and I approached his patrol
car. When I reached it, I saw him sleeping. Enos is
able to sleep everywhere, also hanging on the wall. I
decided not to awake him; it was also my fault he was
so tired. I opened his patrol car’s door and I kissed
him gently on lips. He didn’t wake up, but he smiled.
Sometimes I wonder what he’s thinking, or what he’s
dreaming. Maybe I’ll ask him. Not today.

by: Val Strate

Let me tell you about my driver. The woman who keeps me clean and running hard, she’s the quiet idle of an engine on a dark night, she’s the sparkle in the chrome of a bumper, she’s the shine and shimmer that clear coat gives. We met many years ago in 1971, a fine young Philly if I ever saw one. The first time she sat down I my passenger leather seat, I knew she was something special. We weren’t together then. I belonged to a young man named Jordan then. Jordan and I would drag race at Attica for pinks. Of course I won all the time, and Jordan was proud of me. He called me ‘Cricket’ because the way I’d jump from the starting line. How Jordan ended up with her that year, I will never know. An eco-friendly environmentalist and a drag strip racer, who would have thought such a combination, would exist? I think she once said something to Jordan she wanted to take things slow because she was on the rebound. Slow! Who takes things slow?! That’s a ridiculous notion but I guess Jordan obeyed it because Jordan dated her for at least two years. She went to Ohio State, while Jordan and I resided in Lima. Yes, I know… You Dixie folk are scratching your head saying, ‘Those are Yankee town names. You’re talking about north of the Mason Dixon line, not Hazzard.’ Yes friends I am.

Fore you see and must understand; I was born in Detroit then sold in Lima to Jordan Rice. No, I’m not a southern racer that was put together by backyard mechanics. Jordan’s father ran a Chevy dealership in Lima. Jordan was one of his father’s professional mechanics. He was a strapping young lad, easy with the wheel, hard on the gas. When we met, he was in the phase of his life where he was going from child to man. We would race together but when he was dating my driver, he seemed to get less reckless as time progressed. Well, as time went on and Jordan seen her more and more he let her drive me a few times. She was wonderful behind the wheel. Probably the best feeling woman I had in my driver’s seat. In the past Jordan did let some of his lady friends drive me a few times but he was always there with them. I knew things were getting serious between them when he let her drive me on longer trips by herself. She would always ask Jordan if she could drive and my pistons would leap with joy every time she would ask. The feeling of her long slender fingers wrapping around my wheel still excite me to this very day, and the sound of her soft high pitched angelic voice singing with my radio to sweet beautiful songs that Jordan never listened to. Granted I’ve always loved Jordan’s taste in music, Led Zeppelin was great. However, the sweetness of John Denver singing ‘Country Roads’ mixed with her voice was so glorious and beautiful, brought tears to my headlights.

I still remember the gold ring with the little sparkling clear piece of super hard glass that sat in the center. I don’t understand why that kind of ring is so important but I still remember the day he picked out for her, he was so nervous. I could feel his sweaty palms grip my leather wheel and his hands shake. He kept the little ring in my glove box for a long time. However, he never gave it to her and he never would… She ended up finding it on her own.

It was December and Jordan had parked me in the employee lot of the dealership as usual before going into work that morning. He was planning on going to Columbus after work to go see his beloved and had mentioned maybe giving her the golden ring. He said she was graduating in a year or so soon and she’d probably want a life with him. I over heard him discuss this many times with his father while they changed my oil and did maintenance checkups on me on lazy summer afternoons. Tell me, do dentists and doctors discuss their love lives over checkups with you? I find it rather odd that Jordan liked to talk to his father about such things while tending to my vitals but eh, I guess when you have a mechanic for an owner, checkups aren’t so formal. Maybe this is what it feels like for humans to have doctors in their families? Anyhow, on with the story, so it was December, and Jordan had gone into the dealership to work. I took a nap in the parking lot like I normally do while he’s at work. When suddenly, I wake up to here this awful sirens and noisy, ambulances show up screaming their presence and flashing their lights. I seen humans rush in and out of the garage of the dealership, some were in uniform, some were hysterical mechanics, some were barking orders, and it was pure chaos. I started to panic inside, in wonder what was going on. I whispered to the little mustang named ‘Sally’ that sat beside me in the lot, “Psst, you know what’s going on?”

“No, Cricket… I’m sorry I don’t. I was taking a nap too.” Sally whispered back.

I sighed in my space wondering what was happening when a black and white passed by. I called to him as he headed to the open garage door where the ambulances where parked, “Hey! Smoky! You know what’s going on? How come you and the ambulances are here?”

“Sorry kid, that’s official police business…” the black and white old Ford 500 curser answered as he strolled on by. However a rookie came by, and I called to him figuring he may leak some info because he’s new on the force. I could tell he was new, because he was a 1972 Plymouth Furry I, all bright and shinny white. That was the first time I see a Furry cop before. At the time I didn’t realize I’d see a lot more of them in the future and get to work along side of them. I would’ve been a little more polite to him by not calling him ‘Rookie’ if I would have realized this. My current law enforcement colleagues called me ‘Rookie’ for a long time and would poke fun at my green color a lot when I first came to the Hazzard team of law enforcement. They often would ask how a hot rod like me became the patrol car of a Game Warden, which to them is a glorified girl scout.

“Hey, Rookie! What’s going on?” I called out as he zoomed in.

“It’s a code blue; one of the lifts gave out and dropped a Caddy on a guy.” The crisp white Furry answered as he came in close to the area then parking. I felt my exhaust fan sink into my muffler. Jordan! Oh Lord please don’t let it be Jordan!

The funeral was three days after the incident. Jordan’s brother drove me with Jordan’s beloved sitting shotgun. We followed the hearse to the cemetery and lay my former driver to rest. After the funeral, I came back to Mr. and Mrs. Rice’s home and not to the parking space that was in front of Jordan’s apartment. I sat alone and untouched for a week. My body grew cold to the touch. I didn’t want anyone near me. Mr. Rice started me up that day that was a week anniversary of Jordan’s death. I didn’t start. I couldn’t. The cold December air ran through my fuel system and froze me up solid. My driver was gone now and I was ownerless. No more would I go to Attica and jump from the starting line to bolt down that solid asphalt strip as fast as I could. Jordan was gone. That afternoon Mr. Rice finally got me to start after putting something in my gas tank. It tasted bitter and nasty but it made the gasoline in my fuel system taste warm. We drove down to the dealership. He parked me out with some of the used cars and the next morning I had a huge sign on my windshield that said, ‘FOR SALE! As is’. I was confused now. Did this mean the end for me? I would never know the Rice’s anymore? Would I never see the woman which Jordan loved and I loved, who brought such joy into our lives? I would never hear her sweet voice sing John Denver as she sped down the highway. I wanted to tear my oil plug out and let oil leak all over the car lot. What about that important little ring that sat in my glove box still? What would happen to that? It meant something important to Jordan; would it be important to someone else now?

As I sat in misery thinking about my beloved deceased owner and the woman that would have been his bride to be, I heard a familiar voice. It was a woman. It was Jordan’s lover! She was back at the lot! She was talking to Mr. Rice and asking him about me. Her delicate fingers touched my hood gently. My pistons leaped in joy. Within a day or two, she was behind my wheel and driving me back to her college campus in Columbus. The day after she bought me, she opened the glove box to put her gloves in there and the little box with the ring fell out. She reached down and picked the box up and looked at its contents. Tears rushed from her eyes and she closed the box. She knew what it meant. She knew what the little gold ring meant. She sobbed uncontrollably for a long time then placed it back in the glove box. I carried that little box for her for a long time. She kept it in my glove box, tucked away. Every once in a while she would take the box out, look at the ring and ponder for long intervals. My oil pan leaked for her. From there on out, it was just us.  She graduated from college and eventually got a job in Ohio at a park up by Lake Erie. She worked as a ranger up there and lived in a small apartment alone. She would have boyfriends but they would never last long. One day she got a letter that made her take the long drive back home to Hazzard.

It was a shock for me really, going to Hazzard. I didn’t realize that she was from the south until we did arrive down there. She introduced me to her family and friends. Everyone loved us; in fact, we were challenged to a race! I was excited. I never raced dirt track before. We had a ton of fun, until the last few laps. That’s when things got serious and we ran into a wall. My hood was crumpled and my front end pushed back. Valerie hit her forehead on the steering wheel and was knocked out for a day or two. I was towed away to a place called ‘Cooters’ while she went to a place called ‘Tri-County’. Two young boys worked on me along with a gentleman who ran Cooter’s which I suspect was ‘Cooter’. They bent my frame back and restored my engine, ripped me apart then put me back together. When I saw my driver again, her head was wrapped in a bandage and she asked Cooter to take care of me for a while. I wanted to die. I hurt her. I caused my beloved pain and sorrow. That was the last time I seen her for a long while. I was sent to an old barn that Cooter owned and a sheet we draped over my head. Every Sunday Cooter would take me out of the short drive to keep me running but that was all my automotive life consisted anymore. Once I was the Buckeye state’s biggest thing in drag strip, now retired to a barn in Georgia. I sat for days with the blanket over my headlights thinking what kind of life is this? I felt bitter inside. There were days that I didn’t want Cooter to touch me and I wouldn’t start for him. During those times Cooter would then let me be, but he’d always come back and try again later. Usually I would then start for him. Cooter was a very kind man and a gentle mechanic. His touch was almost as brilliant and kind as Jordan’s. He was a genius when it came to helping cars. He along with some fellows named ‘The Duke boys’ created a car known as the General Lee.  I heard this car’s name spoken and whisper all through out the south while I was down here, but my first encounter with the super super-human automotive was on a Sunday afternoon drive with Cooter. We were heading on home when an orange Charger came racing out of no where. I almost ran into his tail lights when Cooter stopped me.

“Shoot fire and save a box of matches! You boys almost took me and ol’Cricket here out.” Cooter exclaimed into the CB.

A voice came back over the airwaves and I assumed it was from ‘The General Lee’, “Aawww, shucks Cooter, you mean we miss ya!” which was followed by a boyish laugh.

“Very funny, ya’ll wanna head down to the Nest and we can grab ourselves a beer. I’m a might thirsty and I wouldn’t mind visitin’ with ya.” Cooter answered, “Plus Cricket needs some gas…”

“Alright we’ll see ya at the Boar’s Nest.” The voice answered.

The next thing I know we were at the Boar’s Nest and I was parked right beside the famed ‘General Lee’. The General’s driver was a tall blond haired man with blue eyes, I recognized him and his cousin as the two young men who worked on me and brought me back to life. After the humans went inside to socialize, I sat in my spot and pondered some things. That’s when the General spoke…

“So you new to these parts?” The orange Charger asked as I sat in wait next to him.

“Well, kind of… “I answered.

“Kind of? What’s that mean? I know every car in Hazzard County, if you’re not new, how come I never seen you around town before.”

I then sighed and explained my story to the General. He listened close and seemed very understanding almost sympathetic when I spoke of Jordan and his beloved who bought me and now handed me off to Cooter’s care.

“I’m sorry kid… Wish I could help ya. I know it’d crack my gasket, if one of those Duke boys wanted to let me go, or something happened to one of them.”

I didn’t respond back but I think the General could tell how I felt. He then asked me another question in a gentle but inquisitive tone, “How come I haven’t seen you out and about? Cooter keeps you locked up?”

“Yeah, I only get out on Sundays…”

“Aaawww that’s too bad. Well, I’ll keep that in mind then…”

I looked puzzled at the General just as the humans were coming back, “For what?”

The Dukes slid into the General’s windows and Cooter got behind my wheel. The General Lee didn’t say anything until our engines revved up then he whispered, “You’ll see…” 

Two weeks had come and gone since that first meeting. I was starting to think that the General Lee forgot about me. It was that next Sunday that Cooter was taking me out for a drive when an orange bolt came zooming past. The sound of a Dixie horn hung in the air as I realized it was the General Lee. Cooter picked up the CB, “Hey, ya’ll this is crazy Cooter out here on the Hazzardnet, what you two lost sheep up to? Lookin’ for a race or something?”

The light happy voice of the blond Duke came over the CB, “Ha ha, hey how could ya tell? Come on… We wanna see what ol’ Cricket can do!”

“I don’t know ya’ll. I don’t wanna take a chance of wreckin’ him. He ain’t exactly mine.” Cooter answered.

“Aww come on Cooter, we’ll take it easy on ya. Just open him up a bit.” Luke’s voice came over the radio waves.

Cooter frowned a little but stepped on the gas sending me faster down the dirt road and right beside the General Lee. The General gleamed in the bright sunlight. He was in his element as he called out in joy, “Ha ha! Hey there Cricket! Ya ready to race?”

“Race?!” I blinked as we spend along neck and neck, and our drivers began to exchange playful taunts to start a race.

“Yeah, race… You said ya have before…”

“Yeah but it was so long ago…”

“Come on…”

I grinned as I heard Cooter call back on the CB, “Oh yeah, well ya know that gal ya took to the dance on Saturday Bo?”

“Yeah…” He answered back.

“She’s uglier than an armadillo…” Cooter chuckled in the CB after hearing one of the boys’ taunts.

“That’s it Cooter! Ya gonna race or not?” Bo called back revving the General. The General Lee laughed as he felt the gasoline run through him, “Get ready boy… We’re gonna be racin’ soon.”

Suddenly I felt a burst of speed and we were off. The General Lee and I were neck and neck in a race down that little dirt road. The wind in my grill the heat of my engine running and the sun beating down on my hood as dirt kicked up against our wheels. Our engines whined as we struggled against the wind. The General’s engine laughed as we raced.

“Tired yet?” The orange Charger at my side called to me.

“Heck no!”

“Good…” with that said he pulled forward more.

“Oh no you don’t!”

He just laughed again, but I then pulled ahead and passed him. Cooter wasn’t giving this one up. I raced forward now laughing hysterically. I was going to beat the great General Lee, “Ha ha! Take that!”

Little did I realize until it was starting to become too late to slow down, that the bridge was out. I gulped that last burst of gas in fear. I wasn’t going to make it across the River Styx there was no way. I tried to slow down but I couldn’t. I just felt myself racing toward the bridge. So this is why the General Lee slowed down.

“I can’t slow down… The brakes! Dammit! The brakes!” Cooter yelled into the CB.

Suddenly an orange burst came out of no where and pushed into my side forcing me off the road and into the ditch with it, the General Lee. We both slammed to a stop into the ditch and let our radiators cool while our drivers regained their senses as well.

“Cooter! Ya alright!” Bo called from his window to Cooter.

“Yeah… I just… wow… Ya’ll saved my tail back there.”

“Don’t worry about it Cooter. You’d do the same for us…” Luke answered as he got out of the General and came over to see if Cooter was alright.

I glanced over at the wounded General and realized my own damage as well, “Thanks…”

“Yeah, no problem… It’s what Hazzard folks do. We help one another out.” The orange charger answered.

“But I ain’t from Hazzard…”

“Don’t matter… You’re one of us now. You wouldn’t be in this County this long if you didn’t belong here.”

I paused as the tow truck pulled the General Lee away first then me up onto the car hauler. I was then pulled out as well and sent to the garage. We both got a full checkup and repair. Of course the General went on his merry way and I was sent back to the barn of solitude. However, I had a new out look on life. Was there something more to me being idle all this time, laying in wait for the right moment? As time pasted, I noticed the cars did too. However every once in a while I seen the General on my Sunday drives, even though we never raced again it was nice to exchange a word or two with him. I looked forward to those moments, instead of feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t out and about all the time. Something told me, my sweet lady love was coming back home to me. I just didn’t know when…

That’s when it happened, years later one Wednesday afternoon; Cooter came out to the barn with the Dukes and the General Lee.  As I was backing out of the barn and spotting the General in the drive I called hello to him, “Hey! How are you doing?”

He gave me a grin and spoke, “Cricket, buddy this is your lucky day.”

“What do you mean?” I asked as I then followed him out of the farm driveway toward town.

“You’ll see… You’ll see…” He chuckled. He did this kind of surprise with me before. I wasn’t too happy about this mysterious attitude he was giving me and I wanted to know then but I didn’t question it further.

We arrived in town and pulled in front of the garage. That’s when I realized, the woman I met years ago in Ohio was standing before me. She was back! She looked just like the day she left me only healed of her injuries and a warm smile painting her lovely face. She skimmed her hand over my hood before she got behind my wheel again after Cooter got out and reunited us. I could see the tears in her eyes. She was happy to have me again. That night she drove me back to her home, to her ‘factory’ her place of birth. The little Georgian farm was welcoming and warm again. Little did I know that my life would change again. I would go from just a hotrod road warrior to a vehicle of justice. Yes, within a week of her homecoming, she was hired onto Hazzard County’s Department of Wildlife and I was made her official vehicle. When we went on a call together, I adorned a red flasher on my hood. The first time I parked in front of the courthouse, I was introduced to Hazzard One and Hazzard Two, the county’s two squad cars. I can still hear Hazzard One laughing when I rolled up.

“Well, well, lookie what we got here Two… I think someone parked in the wrong place.” Hazzard One scoffed.

Hazzard Two didn’t say anything. He just gave me a look.

“Look, man… I’m the Game Warden’s vehicle and if you got a problem with that, that’s tough cause I got just as much right to be here as you.”

“Oooo, snippy!” One proceeded to interrogate, “Look rookie, just stay out of the real police work.”

They didn’t take too kindly to me at first but after a while I earned my way in. The pivotal point for the tension to finally break between us was when I beat the yellow mustang named ‘Spice’ that was driven by the infamous Trisha Hawkins in a race for Enos Strate’s life. Hazzard Two was extremely thankful his officer was returned to him.

However, this is one fact that I realized, patrol cars in this county don’t last long and they are replaced fairly quickly because their officer’s wreck them beyond repair. I just deal with them. The new models no longer tease me because they’ve heard of me and now somewhat respect my presence in the department.  I’d tell you all about that race with ‘Spice’ it but that’s another story that is told at another time. There are still many moments and many stories I could tell you about. Like the time my mistress saved a boa snake from a pet truck wreck, or the time her first love before Jordan came back into her life, (so that’s why she wanted to take it slow).

For now, I’m just happy to be returned to my Mistress and have her back in my life. We are one once more, mistress and machine, in a marriage of sentiment, passion, love and adventure. Whatever happens to us in the future is yet to be foreseen but we take it one road at a time, just me and my mistress, Ms. Valerie Marie Strate.

 

Written by Marie Roach, April 2007.

by: Vinsmouse

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Dukes of Hazzard, not making any money, just cheap thrills.
Warnings: Violence towards a beloved character.
Rating: FRC
Summary: An innocent bystander is the victim of a viscious attack when somebody seeks revenge. An answer to the Appomattox Challenge.

email: vinsmouse.1@juno.com

 

The first hint I had that anything was wrong, was a searing pain down my side. As usual I was parked outside the Boar’s Nest, while the boys were inside having fun with a couple of sweet young things. Oh pardon me, I’m usually not this rude, but the viciousness of the attack really rattled me. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is General Lee, or as many refer to me; The General Lee. I’m a 1969 Dodge Charger, partner in adventure with the Duke boys, Bo and Luke. And until recently I was a thing of beauty, but that was before the completely unprovoked attack on my person.

It all started when Bo decided to ask Miss Pamela Rogers out on a date. She’s a pretty thing, tall and leggy with long blonde hair, just the way Bo likes them. They went out on a couple of dates and things went very well between them. Especially when Bo drove us up to kissing cliff and he and Pamela climbed into my back seat…. Excuse me while I just wipe the fog from my windows, there that’s better, now where was I? Oh yes, well Bo and Pamela had a lot of fun together, but Bo never has had a long attention span. A fact the ladies of Hazzard are well aware of, so I don’t know why Pamela thought things with her were any different. However apparently she did, judging by the vile things she was saying last night at the Boar’s Nest.

I heard her walking around on the gravel of the parking lot, or maybe stomping would be a better word for it. Anyway, there she was stomping around the lot, ranting about cheating men and bimbos. I would tell you the things she said but I was taught not to use that kind of language. I heard her say something about teaching that no good Bo Duke a lesson and then the pain began. As I said earlier the first hint I had that something was truly wrong was a searing pain in my side. I found out later that she had drug her key down my side, leaving a deep, ugly scratch in my paint. While I was still reeling from that unexpected pain, Pamela climbed in through my window and began to cut into the driver’s seat. Using the only defense I could, I managed to flip the seat forward, hoping to knock her against the horn to alert Bo and Luke to the attack. Unfortunately Pamela moved faster than I anticipated and twisted to the side, avoiding the horn. It must’ve made her even angrier, because suddenly she shoved the seat back and using the weight of her body kept it in place while she continued her attack. When she climbed back out the window, I gave a sigh of relief, thanking Dodge that she was finished.

It turns out I was a little too quick with my thanks. I saw her coming towards me with another weapon and that was when I remembered that she played softball. I prayed that Bo or Luke would come outside, heck even that numbskull Rosco would’ve been better than nothing. He might not like the boys any but I don’t think he would’ve let the attack continue, especially against an innocent bystander such as myself. My prayers went unanswered though and as pain erupted, I heard the breaking of glass and my world went dark. If I’d been afraid before, now it was even worse, as I couldn’t see anything at all. Standing there in my parking spot, I would’ve trembled if I could’ve, as I wondered what she would do to me next. I could hear her walking around me, her thoughts as she studied me nearly a physical thing. Her steps suddenly moved towards my rear end and I dared to hope she was leaving. Of course she wasn’t through with me yet and without any warning I felt something sharp enter my rear driver’s tire. I could feel nothing but pain as she dragged the object through the skin of my tire, leaving a gaping slash allowing all of the air to escape. Quickly she proceeded to treat the other three tires in a similar fashion, luckily by this time I was numb from the pain, so I felt nothing. “There, bet he thinks twice before he cheats again,” I heard her mutter in satisfaction.

I don’t know how long I sat there after the attack ended. Time doesn’t really have much meaning to my kind, but I know you humans place some importance on it. All I can tell you is that after some time, I heard the door of the Boar’s Nest opening. The next thing I heard was Bo calling my name, his voice filled with pain and devastation as he saw what had been done to me. “Sweetheart would you do me a favor and go get Luke?” I heard him ask his date. “Oh General, who did this to you?” he asked and believe me I wish I could’ve told him.

“Bo what happened?” Luke called as he joined us. “Who did this?” he demanded of Bo.

“I don’t know Luke, I came outside and he was sitting here like this,” Bo told him.

Luke’s next words answered my question about why she was ripping my seat. “Um Bo, what did you do to Pamela?”

“Pamela? I didn’t do anything to her Luke, we had a good time, why?”

“Well she didn’t agree with ya I guess.”

“You think she did this? No way Luke, why would she do this to the General?” Bo asked.

“You’ll have to ask her that, but she left her signature,” Luke told him, fingering the rips in my seat.

“She carved her name in his seat? Awww General I’m sorry,” Bo softly said, running his hand along the edge of my roof.

“It ain’t your fault Bo,” Luke told him and silently I seconded his words. “Look Bo why don’t you go inside and get Cooter, we’ll have him tow the General to the garage. We’ll get him fixed up first and then we can worry about why.”

“Okay Luke,” Bo softly answered him. Suddenly I felt a weight on my roof, it took me a moment to realize it was Bo laying his head and shoulders on the roof. “I’m so sorry she did this to you General, but don’t you worry I ain’t gonna let her hurt you again,” he apologized, his voice strangely thick.

“He knows you won’t let him be hurt again Bo, I’m sure he doesn’t blame ya none,” Luke assured him.

I didn’t hear anything else from Bo after that. I guess he must’ve gone inside because the next thing I knew Cooter had joined the boys. He spent a few minutes tsking over my condition and then he got busy hooking me up to his tow truck. So now here I sit in Cooter’s garage, waiting for him and the boys to fix me up. That’s the end of my part in this sad tale. All I can add is, I hope Bo will learn to be a little more selective of who he dates after this.

 

The End.

 

A/N: Ever since I heard the song Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood I’ve wanted to write a story about it. I could so easily picture some girl who took things more seriously than one of the boy’s intended doing those things to the General. The Appomattox challenge was a good excuse and then I started wondering how the poor car must’ve felt. Just sitting there, minding his own business and then suddenly he falls victim to a horrible attack! Hope y’all liked it, please review and let me know what ya thought.